King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 31, 2007 One after the other please. As is. MAGGIE What's on and popping, Maggie Nerdly here hanging out with the OAOAST's answer to Maggie Thatcher herself, Nathaniel Black. What's the deal lime sauce? Black, who has been standing with a smug grin on his face, looks at Maggie in confusion. BLACK Are you on drugs, lass? MAGGIE What makes you say that? BLACK Well, you're young. You're a blone Yank airhead. Lohan. Spears. Ringin' any bells? MAGGIE Nooo, never! My mommy loved me. You know what they say, Hugs Not Drugs. Plus, I'm Canadian. So, anyway, down to business, we've got some footage to show the good people of TV land from our weekend show. I think it's called Syndicated, or OAOAST Pro, or Wrestling Superheroes... I dunno, nobody seems to be sure. But anyway, it's footage involving you. We're gonna see Jamie O'Hara wrestling that my fellow Canadian crumpet Mister James Blonde, from last Saturday night on the 'Road To AngleSlam special'. And... *ahem!* MAGGIE ...uh, and you make a little cameo appearance along the way, which... *AHEM!* MAGGIE ...you're not a ventriloquist, are ya? BLACK No. MAGGIE In that case... Maggie looks around for the source of the throat clearing. Nothing to the left, but to the right stands LEON RODEZ, waving coyly. Pointing to herself to check if it's she he's trying to get the attention off, Maggie gives him a quick thumbs-up and turns to the camera as if nothing happened. MAGGIE Okay, roll footage! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 31, 2007 * SWOOSH * Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated Snap suplex by O'Hara! SCHIAVONE O'Hara, mounting a real comeback here! O'Hara hops up quickly, stomping Blonde back down and making sure he's firmly down. He then sets, readying himself before springing off the mat and tumbling... WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!?! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" 1... 2... Kickout! Furious, O'Hara glares at Mickey Jay as he gets back up, waiting for Blonde. On the outside, Faqu continues to watch on stoicly. SCHIAVONE O'Hara has to stay on the attack here, Blonde is visably reeling. Picking himself up in the corner, sudden fear strikes Blonde as The Birmingham Bad Boy sprints towards him... ...sidestep... ...O'Hara lands on the middle rope safely though. With a quick spring, he then vaults backwards, moonsaulting... onto his feet! Blonde is able to sidestep the 'sault too though and as O'Hara lands, a short knee to the ribs slows the human speedball down. Resting against the turnbuckles for a second, Blonde eventually goes up onto the middle rope, drawing O'Hara into a stinging right hand and hooking on a front facelock. Blonde then takes off, spiking O'Hara on his head with a Tornado DDT! VENTURA From Vancouver With Love, not a lot of love for O'Hara though. All pain. With O'Hara down, Blonde slows the pace down a little by taking a breather, before making a cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling O'Hara up, Blonde nails a right hand and then a second before pushing O'Hara into the ropes, sending him across the ring. As he hits the ropes though, O'Hara manages to hook his arms over the top rope and halt his momentum... only for Blonde to charge in anyway and clothesline O'Hara up and over the top. However, he doesn't notice O'Hara grabbing the top rope and levering himself onto the apron and turns his back to motion to the crowd, leaving himself open for a springboard missile dropkick from O'Hara! Sprawling forward, Blonde ends up tumbling out through the ropes and to the floor, while O'Hara tries to regain his senses. VENTURA Not a good place to be against this guy. Slowly Blonde pulls himself up on the outside. In the ring meanwhile, the same can be said for O'Hara, who has Blonde in his sights. Moving Mickey Jay aside, O'Hara takes a run-up, before cartwheeling across the ring and tumbling up, over, out and WIPING OUT BLONDE WITH A SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP~! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Put that one on the highlight reel! VENTURA They didn't do that kinda thing in my day, Schiavone. The crowd applaud O'Hara, as he and Blonde lie in a mangled heap on the arena floor. Meanwhile, referee Mickey Jay begins his count on both men. O'Hara rolls to his knees, trying to shake out the cobwebs after taking a pretty rough landing on the floor himself. Watching from a few feet away is Faqu, standing menacingly cracking his knuckles. SCHIAVONE I still don't understand what right that monster has to be out here. He can't have a manager's license and he's obviously got a vested interest in proceedings. VENTURA Schiavone, get with the times. Manager's licenses are out, crazy gymnastic flips are in. Pulling himself up, O'Hara turns and looks suspiciously at Faqu. He's not afraid to mouth off to the big Samoan as he begins to pull his opponent to his feet. But his divided attentions cost him, as Blonde suddenly charges The Birmingham Bad Boy backwards, driving his spine into the ring apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Backing up, Blonde waits for Jamie to step forward before driving him backwards into the ring apron a second time. SCHIAVONE Blonde, buying himself some time here after that dive he absorbed. Blonde rolls O'Hara in at six to break the count. With that dealt with, Blonde takes a moment to turn and hurl abuse at the ringside fans before climbing back to the apron and waiting on O'Hara to get up. O'Hara slowly gets to his feet, turning towards Blonde who latches onto his head, bringing his throat down across the top ring cable. The 5'9 Brit is propelled off his feet from the momentum of the move and lands with a thud. Blonde stops for a second to get himself together before then entering the ring, waiting for Jamie to get back up. He gives the immortal signal that it's OVAH~! and the crowd quickly rally behind O'Hara to recover. SCHIAVONE The Canadian with those hands twitching, he's stalking O'Hara, looking for the Illegally Blonde here it looks like. As the shaken O'Hara pushes back onto his feet, it's the signal for Blonde to make his move. He grabs the arm and tries to sink in the cobra clutch immediately... ...NO! O'Hara rolls out behind, leaping onto Blonde's shoulders and taking him over with a quick victory roll... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA Woah! SCHIAVONE He got him, out of nowhere! As Blonde sits up with his eyes bugging and two fingers brandished at the referee, O'Hara turns to the crowd and nods his head, as if to say he knew he'd win all along. He wouldn't feel quite so smart though if he realised NATHANIEL BLACK had just rolled into the ring and was measuring him for a LARIAT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE What the hell is this now!? VENTURA It's a bonus! Be grateful Schiavone. Black jumps up and puts the boots to O'Hara, quickly joined by Blonde who is still fuming over the defeat. The duo stomp away on O'Hara as Faqu enters the ring too, scaring off referee Mickey Jay. Calling off the attack, Black drags O'Hara off the canvas to club him with a European Uppercut! And another! Noticing a fourth man in the ring, Black then throws O'Hara away... *WHAM!* ...into a BRUTAL Samoan Drop from Faqu!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA That's three hundred plus pounds right there coming down on your chest, an easy way to collapse a lung or two! SCHIAVONE Jesse, this is ridiculous! This is three on one, there's no need for this! As Faqu pulls himself back up, Black walks over to the fallen Birmingham Bad Boy. Standing over him, the badmouth is put on O'Hara by the thick accented Cockney... before a hard *SLAP!* puts an exclamation point on the message. Black then raises his arms in the air, as Blonde continues to insist he got a shoulder up on two to anyone who'll listen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 31, 2007 * SWOOSH * Back to live HD and Nathaniel Black nods as the footage ends. MAGGIE (clearly distracted) So... uh... have you ever met Simon Cowell? BLACK (ignoring Maggie) I told you all at Syndicated, I was gonna kick some arse and take some names for the way this bloody company treated me like a steamin' pile of dog crap when I was here first time. Jamie O'Hara, of all the tossers in this locker room, you're the one I 'ate the most. So, it starts with you, 'mate'. Yeh, you may be not be a Yank. You may be 'British', but you sure as heck ain't a British wrestler! I warned ya in WDW, my mission in the US was to prove British wrestling is the best wrestling. That Britain is the best, period. And so long as glorified circus acts like you are walkin' 'round representin' England, I'm wastin' my pissing time. I'm 'ere to set an example. And if it's through you, all the better. MAGGIE Nathaniel, that was bitching. Thanks. Scowling, Nathaniel marches off, leaving Maggie free to scuttle back over to where Leon Rodez continues to stand by. MAGGIE Okay, so, where were we? LEON Oh. Sorry for interrupting by the way. MAGGIE No problem. That guy stunk of lager for some reason. LEON Fantastic. So, anyway, you know the past few months have been really rough for me and I haven't been myself. Infact, I'm not sure I've been myself since you've been in the OAOAST. And, you know, Jade's finally seen the light, thank God, so... I'm finally in a good place again. And it occured to me the other day that the past few weeks, you've been trying to interview me and I was giving you a little short-shrift. MAGGIE Oh, well, totally understandable... LEON No. Look, that's not me, you know. To be that way to someone who's just trying to do their job. Let's face it, when I go to the bank or I'm trying to order at the Diary Queen, there's some people who aren't so great at what they do but I'm pleasant and courteous to them. And yeah, I'm not a huge fan of DMV workers or the IRS. But they're doing their job. Besides, technically, we're colleagues. You know about The Love Shack, right? Oh, who am I kidding, how could you not! It's award winning you know. MAGGIE I think I saw one where you made fun of Marv and Mel. Awkward moment!! MAGGIE It's okay though, I do it all the time. They're total dorks! Phew! LEON Oh, totally! (forced laugh) Listen, the point is, I know what it's like trying to do your job. I'm part of the interview personality community and as part of that community, I should have went the extra mile to show solidarity with you, my bretheren. And for not doing that, I apologise. So, to make it up to you, I was thinking... maybe, dinner? After the show? You know, a little get together with the interviewers kinda thing? JOSH MATTHEWS (off-screen) Ooh, I'll come! LEON Sorry Josh, you're more of an 'orally based journalist' than an interviewer buddy! Maybe some over time. (to Maggie) So, that sound good? Maggie takes a second to think about it before shrugging. MAGGIE Sure, why not. LEON Great! See you real soon. As Maggie walks off, curling a finger through her hair with a big smile on her face, Leon stays ice cool leaning up against the wall. LEON And that's why guys without a match come to every show. ..... That and the fines. JOSH MATTHEWS (off-screen) Were you talking to me? LEON No Josh, just thinking aloud! Send your mom my love when you see her next, hey? Ooohhhh, #Wake up Maggie I think I got somethin' to say to you!# Leon struts away as we go back to wherever Patty damn well wants! You know, I don't know why I've posted it in three parts but, oh well... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
