Tony149 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2007 [b]And now, [color="#008000"]Theodore Moneymaker’s[/color] [color="#A0522D"]Enterprise[/color] presents [color="#0000FF"]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/color]![/b] [quote]Dr. Steven Pigley places Uno in a bear hug as Dr. Max performs a TOP ROPE SEATED SENTON that brings the fans out of their seats! COLE Guerney To The Center Of The Earth! That'll do it! ONE... TWO... THREE!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners...THE LOVE DOCTORS! Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad-- Debt problem apparently, as the Enterprise personal debt collector, the Certified Public Ass-kicker himself, CPA blindsides Dr. Max with a MASSIVE CLOTHESLINE, which he follows with a jaw shattering BIG BOOT to Dr. Steven! COACH I take back what I said earlier, Cole. This is much worse than a malpractice suit. COLE What did The Love Doctors do to deserve this? “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The man who financed the operation, THEODORE MONEYMAKER, scrolls to the ring with a wide grin on his face. From the apron he watches as CPA gives Doctors Max and Steven a FRONT SPINEBUSTER and DOMINATOR, respectively. * DINGDINGDINGDINGDING * COLE Come on, damnit! Somebody’s gotta go in there and stop this! COACH I don’t blame the officials for not wanting to get involved. Not when you have CPA standing there waiting. Moneymaker approaches The Love Doctors and stuffs a $100...NO, he thinks better of it and COVERS THEIR EYES with a pair of NICKELS and DIMES, and then SLAPS them with a HEAVY WAD OF CASH! MONEYMAKER :lol: COLE Despicable![/quote] Upon the video’s conclusion, we head backstage to our 18-34 demo magnet Maggie Nerdly with Theodore Moneymaker and his burly bodyguard CPA inside the Enterprise’s private skybox. MAGGIE Theodore Moneymaker, because of the actions of the man standing next to you last week, OAOAST officials have signed for Zero Hour a match pitting yourself and Christian Wright versus the Love Doctors! THEODORE :lol: MAGGIE And judging from your behavior, you have little remorse for what happened one week ago. THEODORE The Love Doctors learned a cruel fact of life, blondie, and that’s when you don’t get the job done you don’t get paid! In the biggest reveal not even Hollywood could script, Max Anderson and Steven Pigley were the mark doctors who had the simple task of faxing the note to Anglesault’s office stating myself and CW weren’t medically cleared to wrestle on the night we lost the tag team titles due to injuries sustained in a failed assassination attempt earlier in the evening. MAGGIE :rolleyes: THEODORE But they had a battle of conscience and reneged on the deal. Worse yet, they used [i]my[/i] cash advance to film the video that has COD steamed! So I sent my Certified Public Ass-kicker, CPA, to collect restitution. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MAGGIE You may be laughing now, Theodore Moneymaker, but The Love Doctors could very well have the last laugh should they defeat COD later in the evening and become tag team champions. THEODORE I think my night would be complete if that happened. Imagine the biggest thorns in my Enterprise’s side going down in defeat to the team who badly wants a piece of the former One & Only World tag team champions who just so happen to be at the top of the line for a return shot. Why, you would almost think I had this… MAGGIE (gasps) You’re not saying… THEODORE You got it, sister. It’s all part of the plan. A well crafted plan from the brilliant minds in the Enterprise. HAHAHAHAHA! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to enjoy the rest of the show. Teddy and CPA walk out of camera’s view. MAGGIE The Enterprise, criminal masterminds in every sense of the word. Standing by right now with comments from The Love Doctors… Is this a rib? Ryan Seacrest?! As always, a picture is worth a thousand words. The screen is parted down the middle to show Maggie on the left and, indeed, the “metro-sexual” host of American Idol on the right. RYAN Thanks Mags. Great to be with you on HeldDOWN~! MAGGIE Say, you wouldn’t happen to be here because Leon Rodez expressed his desire to fraternize more with his broadcast colleagues, right? RYAN Seacrest out! Seacrest dashes past The Love Doctors and presumably out of the building, leaving producers to scramble for a new interviewer. Fortunately a man comfortable in front of the camera is nearby, former wrestler and current OAOAST agent TONY BRANNIGAN! “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The Love Doctors give the former World Heavyweight Champion his due, bowing in respect as the tag team legend assumes the role of interviewer (for one night only!). TONY Thank you, gentlemen. Now let’s get on to the business at hand, starting with the allegations made by my cousin Theodore Moneymaker. DR. STEVEN We certainly appreciate the opportunity to set the record straight. As everybody knows, Max and I handle a great deal of pro bono cases each year. We believe in giving the people the best care no matter race, creed or sex. However, there’s a heavy cost for that public service and it’s felt in our pocketbooks since we now run Windy City Hospital after Mrs. Anderson, Max’s mom, passed away. In short, money is tight. And it’s no secret whenever you need fast cash Theodore Moneymaker is the man to see. But there’s also a price to be paid for dealing with a person of Moneymaker’s reputation, such as your pride and dignity. Max and I worked too long and hard to flush everything we built down the drain by associating ourselves with Theodore Moneymaker. We’d rather operate in the red than sell out! TONY You might not have sold out, you did put yourselves in debt by spending the money loaned on the idea you’d be participating in Theodore’s operation to produce a promotional video that drew the ire of Chicks Over Dicks, the One & Only World tag team champions, who later on tonight you’ll have to face in the ring! DR. MAX Can you believe that? A shot at the One & Only World tag team championship not because we’re ranked in the Top 10, but over a video?! Hey, we didn’t mean to offend anyone, especially not COD, but come on, we’re simply irresistible. If COD want to take this to a place it should never have gone, fine by us. Those shiny belts they carry around equal big money. Big money that doesn’t require you to sell out to greed. The Love Doctors exit. TONY There you have it straight from the mouths of The Love Doctors themselves. Right now I’m being told you guys at Sofa Central have some company. Take it away because I’m not used to doing this shit. We cut to the famed announce position where Cole and The Coach have been joined by LOS CONQUISTADORS. COACH From one honor and privilege to another! Look who’s here, Cole. COLE What is this, the tag team variety hour? Come on, fellas, we got other guys on the roster too. Having lost their ability to speak English yet again, Uno and Dos rely on pre-written SIGNS to get their message across (think Wily E. Coyote). UNO Conquistadors, angry! DOS :angry: UNO Deserve respect. DOS R-E-S-P-E-C-T. UNO Meanest, baddest hombres in el mundo! DOS [u]EL MUNDO[/u]! COLE That may be the case where you come from… UNO Racist. COLE …but actions speak louder than words. You haven’t been able to do either in recent weeks. DOS Si, our gringo amigo. Tonight Los Conquistadors change that because we challenge any tag team in OAO… (flips side) …AST to match! COACH Right here? UNO Right now! With that the team affectionately known as America’s Favorite Jobbers march to the ring in their quest for respect to the tune of “Gold Dust Woman”. COLE Who will accept Los Conquistadors’ challenge? We’ll find out after this brief timeout. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2007 THE MATCH We return from break as the music dies down. The anticipation builds with each passing second. Then an unfamiliar piece of music begins to play. [I]Turn me up Now I gotta murder da murder ta get away The eyes gotta peer now the fools gotta pay And if they pay then they pay with they life So watch another man try to hold on to his life[/I] To the crowd’s surprise and delight, HOLLY-WOOD and MELODY NERDLY emerge to “Another Body Murdered” by Faith No More. LOS CONQUISTADORS :huh: COACH You wanna talk about a rib. [I]This[/I] is a rib. One female tag team is bad enough, but two? The locker room won’t be a pretty place to be come that time of the month. COLE I cannot believe my eyes. Holly and Melody have accepted the challenge! The more experience of the two, Holly steps inside and signals for the bell. When referee Charles Robinson has the nerve to ask whether Holly and Melody understand the risk involved, the Angel of Death shoots him a death stare, which is enough for him as the bell is sounded. * DINGDINGDING * Within a second after the bell is ranged Holly floors Uno with a hard forearm shiver, then grabs the Wild Chicano by the legs and stomps him dangerously close to below the waist. A woman possessed, Holly knocks Dos off the apron and tags in Melody, who enters firing her imaginary pistols in the air but whose only move is a standing dropkick before handing over the keys of the car back to Holly! “YEAAAAA!” COLE (laughs) Isn’t she precious? COACH Only if you prefer bimbos. And those cowboy boots are made for walking not wrestling. They ought to be banned. Holly beats the piss out of Uno some more, ramming the Wild Chicano into the turnbuckle and then BAAAAACKdrops him across the ring. The Angel of Death’s hidden sadomasochist side then comes to light as she helps Los Conquistadors tag, and hurls Dos inside! She traps the Golden Boy’s head under her arm and hooks a leg, twisting him around in a fishermen’s suplex! COLE Rodeo Driver! ONE… TWO… Holly breaks on her own accord to engage in hand to hand combat with Uno. Melody comes in at Holly’s request and, after whipping him into the ropes, the girls connect on a double dropkick. Under the encouragement of Holly and the fans support, Melody plants Uno with a RUNNING BULLDOG while Dos TAPS OUT TO THE HOLLYWOOD GROOVE!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE Melody and Holly! Melody and Holly! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners…HOLLY-WOOD and MELODY NERDLY! “YEAAAAA!” COACH In what you’d have to call a mild upset, the brand new team of Melody Nerdly and Holly-Wood has just defeated Los Conquistadors! COLE Their win-loss record isn’t the most impressive, I admit, but Los Conquistadors have caused nightmares for teams in the past, namely Los Diablos de Fuego. Everyone remembers the levels they stooped to inflict pain on their enemies with the aid of a barbed wire coal miner’s glove. The girls share a moment…well, Melody does at least…and then Holly calls for a microphone. HOLLY Logan, everywhere you are -- and knowing you it’s probably in a pool of your own vomit after too much to drink -- I hope you hear this loud and clear. The behavior you and Synth displayed at Angleslam has caused me to do something I thought I’d never do. You see, you might be able to have your way with a couple of kids in the Sk8ter Boiz or even a poor incident little girl like Melody, but you damn sure couldn’t handle me! There were times where I could’ve said enough is enough and gave you what you had coming, but I didn’t because I hoped you’d see the light. Well you’re going to see the light all right, but you won’t find peace and tranquility on the other side. No, when you finally break on through you’re going to crash straight into a runaway freight train now that I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. Earlier today I took the liberty of faxing a match contract to your attorneys. So without further ado, let me introduce you to your opponents at Zero Hour… MELODY Holly-Wood and Melody Nerdly…THE ANGELS OF DEATH~! “YEAAAAA!” COLE What a bombshell. The newly formed Angels of Death vs. the Heavenly Rockers at Zero Hour! COACH I don’t advocate men on women violence, but Sean Connery was right -- sometimes you gotta smack your bitch up when she gets out of control. Logan will finally get the chance to do so and people won’t be able to cry about it. COLE Enough out of you. It’s time to pay the bills. Back with more after this! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
