King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2007 COLE Right now, we'd like to get you up to speed with some footage from our Syndicated broadcast from this past weekend. A couple of weeks ago, we showed you the closing stages of a match between Jamie O'Hara and James Blonde, when Nathaniel Black got VERY involved at the expense of Jamie O'Hara. Well, this past weekend, O'Hara was given an opportunity to try and extract some revenge, albeit against the three hundred pound Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu. Well, once again, Nathaniel Black got involved, as we can show you right now. ***** The footage begins to roll with Faqu tied up in the ropes, Andre The Giant style and O'Hara giving all he has with some wild right hands. James Blonde is on the outside and going crazy at the referee for not doing anything to help his partner. COLE (VOICEOVER) And here you see, after a absorbing a lot of punishment from the big Samoan, O'Hara finally caught a break. But his luck didn't last long... As O'Hara finally stops punching, Blonde climbs to the apron and tries to help the referee untie his partner. This distraction though allows NATHANIEL BLACK to roll into the ring! COLE (VOICEOVER) In would come Nathaniel Black, with the referee distracted... spins O'Hara around and... *WHAM!* Black nails O'Hara with a Lariat so hard, it literally turns The Birmingham Bad Boy inside out!! COLE (VOICEOVER) ...unseen by the referee, a vicious clothesline from Black would turn the tide. Black quickly slides out of the ring just as Faqu is freed. Faqu shakes away the abuse he took a few seconds ago and stalks over to O'Hara, picking him up off the canvas. SCHIAVONE The referee didn't see a thing. And now, Jesse, O'Hara is defenceless! VENTURA Well so was [i]Faqu[/i] and I didn't hear you complaining Schiavone! SCHIAVONE This is totally different and you know it! Nathaniel Black isn't involved in this match, this is basically three on one and now, O'Hara is helpless! Faqu drags the lifeless Birmingham Bad Boy to his feet, or as close as possible. Butterflying the arms, The Samoan Wrecking Ball then lets out a loud war cry, before lifting O'Hara up AND SPIKING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE DOUBLE UNDERHOOK PILEDRIVER!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" VENTURA Death By Samoan! You could count to a [i]thousand[/i] and he wouldn't kick out! Cover by Faqu... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* PENZER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL", FFAAAAAQQUUUUUU!! ***** COLE Well, after the match, the trio of Black, Blonde and Faqu were cornered by Jesse Ventura and they had this to say! ***** More Syndicated footage, with the aforementioned trio in a locker room with Jesse. BLACK Yeh know, I am sick an' I am tired of Jamie O'Hara. I've been trackin' that scrawny little jackmonkey for damn near four months now an' I still 'aven't made myself clear to all these Yanks. They all think I'm in the wrong, just 'cause I'm an Englishman an'! They aut'amatically go against us just 'cause we're the foreigners. These two 'ere, they've 'ad to put up with it just like me. From the fans, to the refs, to the match makers, to the front office... everybody! VENTURA Nathaniel, I hate to interrupt you here, but Jamie O'Hara IS a foreigner. BLACK He ain't a foreigner! He sure as 'ell ain't British anyway, not really. All of that 'bling' or whatever the 'ell it's called, talkin' like he's some sorta braindead DefJam tosser. He's a disgrace to my country an' I ain't gonna rest so long as he's walkin' around the OAOAST. There's nothin' I enjoy more than knockin' out teeth of people like 'im. An' that's exactly what I did tonight! If there one type of person I 'ate more than those stinkin' Yanks out there, it's people who wanna be stinkin' Yanks! Jamie O'Hara, he ain't a real Englishman. He ain't a true Brit like me. He ain't built with the same bulldog spirit like Nathaniel Black an' I will do whatever it takes to prove that to the world. I am more of an Englishman than Jamie O'Hara in every way possible. It's as simple as that. ***** COLE Well, developments over the past few days. On OAOAST.com, Jamie O'Hara has this exclusively to say regarding Nathaniel Black. ***** Cut to Jamie O'Hara, sat on the swings in a pretty rundown looking playground. O'HARA So, Nathaniel Black says that I ain't a real Englishman? Man, you clearly ain't heard the buzz, dawg. I'm the Birmingham Bad Boy! I'm the Midlands' most undeniable superstar, that's for real. Ain't nobody in Birmingham who says I ain't English enough. So, I ain't gonna let some London wideboy wanker try an' make out any different! Now, I heard ya'll were talkin' some crap about how you were "more of an Englishman than Jamie O'Hara in e'ry way possible". Blacky, were I come from, those is fightin' words. Sounds like you're tryin'ta lay out a challenge to the big J-OH! So, I've been thinkin' 'bout it an' I've been thinkin', 'what better way to find out who's the better Brit'? An' the way I see it, we ain't got too many options. Let's face it mate, I ain't the most famous Brit in the US. And you ain't neither. It's mah boy Becks! An' how does Becks do? O'Hara stands up, picking up a SOCCER BALL from the floor. O'HARA Oh yeah. How 'bout this mate, you wanna see who the best Englishman is? You an' me, penalty shootout. Now, I know us Brits ain't all that hot on the penners all the time. So, that just goes to prove who's really hot an' who ain't. So, I'll see yeh in Memphis an' we'll settle it like men from 12 yards. How's about that? OUT! ***** COLE So, it seems like we've got a little bit of a challenge on the table. Jamie O'Hara, challenging Nathaniel Black to a Penalty Shootout to determine who the true Englishman really is. Have you ever heard anything like it Coach? COACH Is that, like, soccer? COLE Uhm, yes. COACH Well, as an American, I'm trained not to care one iota. But, as a Nathaniel Black fan, I hope he wipes the floor with O'Hara. So long as I don't have to pretend I know what's going on while it's happening. COLE Why change the habit of a lifetime? OHHHHH, BALLIN'! More HeldDOWN coming right up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
