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SWF Storm! 9-19-2007

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[semi-patriotic music starts to play]


V/O: "America! Hate Hillary? Oblivious about Obama? Troubled by Thompson? Unwilling to vote for Mike Gravel? You have another option for the election!"


[Pictures of the leading candidates are shown with X's over their faces]


"If you dislike the major candidates, then you must vote Sharpertarian!"


[Leon Sharpe is shown on a a chair hanging out]


SHARPE: "We're on? Oh yes.. it's time for America to vote Sharpertarian. What do Sharpertarians stand for? They stand for liberty and Leon Sharpe. Usual Libertarians are a bunch of weirdos who live in basement houses and pine for the gold standard. I live in a big house, bigger than John Edwards, and I think America needs better strippers, more guns, more freedom, and less nonsense like taxes and requirements. I'm not a Democrat because I'm rich and dislike taxes. I'm not a Republican because they're old and creepy. I'm a Sharpertarian, because i'm Leon Sharpe, and i'm here in the SWF to make more money. Because it's time th--"


OFF-CAMERA VOICE: "We're running low on time, go home!"


SHARPE: "Ok, When the time comes, You must vote Sharpe, until then, i'll just kick everybody's ass in the SWF, because that's the American Way. I'm Leon Sharpe, SWF Superstar, and I approve my message. Sharpertarian, America needs better strippers!"


[Fade out as we see Leon down a bottle of beer]




[Complete fade out]

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...
Live, Wednesday, September 19th, from the Tingley Coliseum in Albuquerque, New Mexico!!
(7pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings)
(Send all promos/marked matches to chirs3)



Toxxic vs. Michael Alexander

--> Man, does Tom know how to piss people off or what? He pulled a fast one Johnny AND Toxxic last show, dancing around the naming of a #1 contender until he unveiled tonight's Main Event - two of our most dominant competitors, both of whom have issues with the current World Champ, now go head to head to take the challenger's role in the Main Event of Genesis VIII!
Rules: Standard singlies.


Wild and Dangerous vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and Chris Raynor

--> I'm sure there's a super amazing action packed description I could write, but I'm too busy being scared of Wild and Dangerous. Eep! :ph34r:
Rules: Standard tag.


Luke-o vs. Craig McClennan

--> Luke-o picked a helluva time to join up - just a few short weeks before the biggest show of the year! We'll see if we can't get him something interesting to do for the big G8, but in the meantime, let's see what the kid can do.
Rules: Hardcore


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The crowd gets a hush silence as the lights do down, a synth guitar strikes Hadouken’s Liquid Lives, and the first four bars are met with a silence from the crowd




Pyro explodes from the stage as the rest of Hadouken kick in to play their best song. A figure jumps out from behind the curtain full of energy playing up to the crowd attempting to get them on his side, and a few of them do.


“The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a DEBUT MATCH!! First, being accompanied by his girlfriend and business partner Rosie “Red Lips” Brake, from London, England, weighing in at 210 pounds, LLLLLUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKEEE-OOOOOOOOOO!!”


Luke-o is spurred on by the great introduction as he runs down to the ring, high fiving all of the fans who actually care about his debut.


“I don’t like this kid,” moans the King, obviously unimpressed with Luke-o’s ecstatic entrance.


“Why not?” Francis asks.


“Oh come on! These kinds of kids are ten a penny, what’s so special about this one?”


“Aren’t you at least going to give him a chance?”




Luke-o rolls into the ring as the chorus kicks in, going up on each turnbuckle playing up to the crowd, his energy is really starting to get people on his side.


I want to drink, drink, drink, smoke, fuck, fight! I wanna to shout and scream! I wanna die! I wanna be arrested! I wanna be molested! My head’s in pain, next weekend lets do it again!




Another set of pyro explodes on the stage as the song stops, Luke-o walks over to veteran announcer and asks for the microphone, which he is given.


“Oh what, he’s gonna talk too? This kid is really starting to grind my gears”


Luke-o holds the microphone with great confidence; he waits before a hushed crowd before he says his first words before a SWF crowd.


“You may not recognise this face, in fact I’d say that none of you know who I am. But I guarantee that not only will my name not be known throughout the SWF but throughout the entire world! Because I am the high flying, death defying, heart stopping, body popping, undeniable, undeniable, non-stop, 24/7, king of the goddamn world!”


The crowd explodes with excitement! This young brash Englishman has gotten them all fired up!


The familiar tune of Rose in Pain starts up as Luke-o’s first opponent makes his way to the ring.


“And his opponent, from Duncan, British Columbia, Canada, he weighed in this morning at 205 pounds, Craig McccccLLLLLeeennnnaaaaaaaan!!


“Now were talking, this guy right here is what a high flyer really looks like!” screams King, much happier at who Luke-o’s debut opponent is.


McLennan makes his way to the squared circle without much fanfare, quite clearly the heel. He gets to the ring and produces his trademark Zippo lighter and places it down in one of the corners, hops up to the ring apron, up to the top of the bottom left turnbuckle and somersaults off it.


“Yeah, that’s my boy! Now show this cocky young kid what SWF is all about”


“I can’t believe you’re siding with this guy rather than Luke-o” Francis retorts, obviously believing that there are big things coming this bright young kids way.


“Of course I am Mak, this Luke-o is a joke, nothing more than another cocky young kid who think he can make it into the big time. I mean look at what he’s wearing.”


“He’s wearing some shorts, and a t-shirt”


“Correction, he’s wearing a Dawn of the Dead T-shirt”


“And your point?”


“It means that a) he doesn’t have a branded t-shirt of his own, and b) he walked in off the street, thinking he can take on the world, only to find out that he’s going to get punked out by the first thing that steps in his way. And that my broadcast colleague is what Craig McLennan is going to do”


The referee calls for the bell and this match is underway. Luke-o and McLennan circle each other, Luke-o standing taller as McLennan crouches down. They appear to be scouting each other out to see who might make the first move.


“We should be in for a good match here King, both of these men are of around the same age, the same height and the same weight!”


“Unfortuntly for Luke-o Mak, Craig McLennan has got it where it counts, experience!”


In the end it is both of them, jumping into a collar and elbow tie up, a struggle, then McLennan uses his slightly stronger frame to shove debuting Luke-o to the floor. McLennan stands tall as he poses for the crowd.


“You believe me now Mak? I told you this kid was all talk!” King exclaims


Luke-o gets back up to his feet, adjusts himself and re-composes himself. Perhaps he has overestimated his first opponent. They circle each other again, more determination in Luke-o’s steps this time. They both leap forward for the collar and elbow only for Luke-o to drop down and sweep his leg under McLennan’s feet, tripping up the flame covered spandex wearer. The crowd pops with excitement as Luke-o jumps back up to his feet, obviously pleased with what he has done. He carrys on with attack, as McLennan gets back up to his feet, Luke-o throws some rights into the face of Craig, leaving him rocking. Luke-o runs towards the rope, McLennan drops down in an attempt to trip them up, Luke-o jumps over and runs towards the other rope, Craig then goes in for another attack only to have Luke-o this time leap from over him and run into the ropes. This time McLennan is ready for him, as Luke-o runs towards him after bouncing off the ropes, Craig McLennan picks him up for a powerbomb, only this time for Luke-o to counter it by snapping off a hurracinrana! The crowd pops again for the exchange! McLennan gets back up, fire and intensity in his eyes as he charges towards Luke-o with a clothesline, Luke-o ducks and follows it up with s standing enziguri as McLennan turns around! Craig slides out of the ring trying to recompose himself. Luke-o stays in the ring and poses, much to the happiness of his valet Rosie Red Lips.


“Wow! This kid is good!” Mak shouts, impressed with what he has seen


“Lucky break, I’m telling you Mak, this guy is a phoney. He’s a hak and a bum. And I don’t like him”


“Well he certainly has Craig McLennan rocked, as he composes himself outside”


Luke-o looks towards McLennan on the outside, seeing an opportunity to impress not only the fans of SWF, but his girlfriend at ringside, he runs towards the ropes, bouncing off them and running full speed towards McLennan on the outside, and leaps with grace over the top rope with a senton flip crashing into the high flying heel!!


Luke-o is the first too his feet, again posing to the crowd. His girlfriend Rosie Red Lips runs over to her man, jumping up and down in happiness for her man and her client. Luke-o grabs hold of her, and they embrace outside the ring!


“Oh come on now that is sick!” King complains, “there is a time and a place for that kind of behaviour and it is not here and it is not on Storm!”


Luke-o’s cocky behaviour may be his downfall, as from behind McLennan spins him round and levels him with a right hand!


“That’s it Craig! Show him how we play down town!”


McLennan grabs hold of Luke-o and takes him towards the ring, smacking his head on the ring apron as he does so. McLennan rolls Luke-o back into the ring and gets in himself. Luke-o gets to his feet and attempts to strike, McLennan uses his speed to block his right and retaliates with a stiff roundhouse kick that sends Luke-o to the floor!


“Ow! McLennan with a stiff kick to the face of Luke-o, the looked like it really rocked the debutant!”


McLennan doesn’t let up, the picks Luke-o back up and strikes him with some stiff kicks and punches to the face and chest, before crouching down and jumping into the air, hitting Luke-o square in the face with a standing dropkick! Luke-o hits the deck and McLennan follows up with a standing shooting star press into the pin









Luke-o gets the shoulder up!


“The kids got guts I’ll give him that, those were some sick kicks!”


And King isn’t wrong, those kicks and punches have done a lot of damage to Luke-o, obviously not used to the toughness of SWF competitors. McLennan is making sure he learns that too as he picks him up and whips him hard into the corner of the ring. In the opposite corner, McLennan crouches down, psyching himself up by screaming then charges at Luke-o lifting his leg up high as he reaches him smashing his foot right into the face of Luke-o!


“Oh! Right in the jaw!” King shouts, happy that Luke-o is not on the winning side of things


Luke-o knocked out cold stumbles forward and falls to his back, McLennan sees his prone body is an ideal spot, leaps up onto the top rope and flies through the air with a moonsault landing perfectly on Luke-o’s torso into the pin












Luke-o once again gets his shoulder up!


“I thought he had him for sure then King!”


“Me too Mak, I’m almost impressed by this kids determination”




“Well, lets not get to ahead of ourselves yet.”


McLennan is clearly not happy that the ref didn’t count the three, gets up in his face and complains. The ref tells him that the three did not go down, all the while, it gives Luke-o time to get back up to his feet. Not that it does him much good, McLennan goes right back to the attack, delivering more stiff punches and kicks to Luke-o. Only this time they seem to be spurring Luke-o on! McLennan delievers super stiff kicks to the chest of Luke-o, only for the high flying Brit to stand there asking for more!


“This kid is insane!” Mak shouts, “He’s just standing there taking those Japanese style stiff kicks to his chest!”


Suddenely, as Craig goes for yet another kick, Luke-o blocks his foot and throws it to his side, spinning McLennan round on his remaining standing leg, sending Craig right into a high spin kick from Luke-o right into the face of McLennan, who gets right back up to his feet, only to run into an armdrag by Luke-o that sends him flying across the ring. He gets back up to his feet and charges at him again, running onto ANOTHER armdrag!


“Luke-o throws another armdrag at McLennan and appears to be gathering momentum!”


McLennan charges at him attempting a clothesline, but Luke-o ducks it as hits McLennan with a HUGE DDT as he turns around, spiking him on his head! Luke-o needs to capotolize here! He pounces on McLennan’s prone body for his first pin attempt of the match!














McLennan shows some resilience and gets the shoulder up before the three!


“Unbelieveable! Luke-o hit McLennan they’re with a pitch perfect DDT and he still managed to kick out!” Mak screams with excitement


“Well of course he did Francis, Craig McLennan does not want to lose to a punk like Luke-o, and why? Because he has pride!”


Luke-o gets to his feet, and stands tall above the laying body of Craig McLennan. He looks up to the crowd for support, who give it to him in there hundreds. He signals that the end is near by exploding into a stance of that not too dissimilar to Raven. He crouches down over McLennan, waiting for him to get to his feet. Taunting him to get up. As Craig gets to his feet, he turns around to face Luke-o, who takes a leap away from him, then launches forward to execute his finishing manouver, but McLennan saw it coming and drops down with a basement drop kick! Luke-o hits the deck screaming in agony! At ringside, Rosie holds her hand to her mouth as she knows her man is in pain!


“Oh boy! It looks like Luke-o’s career has ended before it’s even begun!” shouts a happy Suicide King.


“You’re not kidding King, that was a wicked basement drop kick as Luke-o went for what he are told his trademark super kick!”


“And we may never see it Mak, there is no way in Hell this stupid British Limey is getting up from that!”


Seeing that damage done, McLennan launches at Luke-o’s laying body with a standing senton splash, rolling over the prone body to a standing position so that he can throw himself backwards into a standing moonsault! Into the pin!




















Luke-o kicks out at the last second!


McLennan sits up with a look on his face that says, “what do I have to do?” He rolls Luke-o over and locks him into a Boston crab submission!


“Not something we usually see from McLennan here, but he’s gone to a different play book in order to take full advantage of that damaged leg”


“And it’s a smart move Mak, this will wear him down even more, then it won’t matter what he’ll throw at him, Luke-o won’t be able to kick out!”


Luke-o screams in agony as he tries to reach the ropes, which he is not far from! Rosie Red Lips has run round to where he’s reaching, urging her lover to reach out and grab the ropes to break the hold! Some members of the crowd have started a “TAP, TAP, TAP” chant, but Luke-o isn’t listening to them. He uses all the last remaining part of his strength to hoist himself forward and grab hold of the bottom rope, much to the happiness of his manager/valet/girlfriend/business partner!


“Luke-o reached the ropes! McLennan has to break the hold”


But Craig McLennan doesn’t let go! The ref tries to get him to break the hold and begins the count













McLennan breaks the hold raising his hands up protesting his innocence. Luke-o clutches hold of the leg that McLennan had dropkicked earlier as he writhes in pain.


McLennan almost takes a back seat, knowing that his opponent is in a world of hurt, he almost takes joy in watching the Brit get to his feet. Once he does, McLennan goes into launch an attack, throwing his leg forward for a stiff kick, but Luke-o grabs hold of his foot, McLennan throws his other leg up attempting an enzighuri but Luke-o ducks under the attempt which sends McLennan face first into the canvas! Luke-o sees his opportunity to not only inflict some damage but to give his leg some much needed rest. The flying Brit spins himself round so that he can lock in his trademark submission THE SINGLE LEG BOSTON CRAB~!


“He’s got the submission! Right in the middle of the ring!” Mak shouts with unrivalled enthusiasm!


The crowd are now behind the up and coming star as they chant in unison, “TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP”. But McLennan is not giving up so easily.


“Luke-o’s got nothing on this guy! This submission may be one of the most painful in the world but he has not done enough damage to McLennan to warrant a submission” King explains


And he’s right, although this is causing McLennan a lot of pain, it’s probably doing more damage to Luke-o as he kneels down on his damaged knee! McLennan finally gets to the rope and Luke-o breaks the hold, falling to floor, his leg in insurmountable pain. Rosie “Red Lips” Brake claps her hands to support her man, the crowd joining in, supporting this newfound star.


“The crowd are now finally on his side King!”


“Big deal, who has the crowd ever won matches for?”


Both me get to their feet at the same time. McLennan is the first to strike


McLennan with a right rocks Luke-o


Luke-o with a right that rocks McLennan


McLennan with a right that rocks Luke-o a bit more


Luke-o with a right that rocks McLennan a bit more


McLennan with a right that nearly takes Luke-o down


Luke-o with a SUPERKICK out of nowhere that knocks McLennan to the floor!!


The crowd explodes with excitement as Luke-o falls to his knees; the risk has almost paid off. It cost him a lot of energy to deliver that kick and it took a lot out of him!


“Luke-o looks hurt but I think he can smell that the end is near”


Luke-o uses the ropes to steady himself as he guides his way to the corner, he finds a corner that he can use, looks behind him to check on McLennan’s position, leaps to the top rope and spins round in one motion. And with great difficulty made evident by the pain on his face, stands tall. He poses to the crowd, then launches himself high into the air, spinning himself forward then nailing McLennan right across the throat with a perfectly places Shooting Star Leg Drop!!!


“OH MY GOD!” Shouts Mak Francis!


“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Shouts The Suicide King back!


Luke-o grabs his leg which is in unspeakable pain, but throws himself on top of McLennan for the cover!













“He did it! He got the pin!” Mak exclaims!


“It was a fluke!”




Rosie “Red Lips” Brake climbs into the ring to help Luke-o up. After much effort, Luke-o finally gets to his feet and with his girlfriend in one and the ref in the other, gets both of his hands raised in victory!


“What an impressive debut by this young Brit! I have no doubt in my mind that we’ll be seeing a lot more of him!


“Flash in the pan Mak, flash in the pan.”


Fade down.


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“We’ve got some great tag team action coming up,” says Mak Francis, “as Landon Maddix and Chris Raynor get ready to square off against Wild and Dangerous. This will be Wildchild’s first match back since suffering a concussion at the hands of Revolution Zero.”


“A match which saw Revolution Zero rescue the World Tag Team Championship from the two pretty boys!” the Suicide King adds gleefully. “Unfortunately for all of us, they’re still entitled a rematch, and we could very well see a return to the tag title reign of Wild and Dangerous… or, as I like to call it, the long, national nightmare.”


“King’s opinion notwithstanding,” Mak says to the fans watching at home, “that’s a match that I’m sure that most of our great fans will be looking forward to as much as I am… And I’m really looking forward to this match as well! King, we’re going to be looking at a virtual history of the Tag Team division in the ring: between Maddix, Raynor, and Wild and Dangerous, we’re looking at thirteen different Tag Team Title reigns!”


“Well, even I’ll admit that I’m interested by that particular subplot,” concedes King. “Wild and Dangerous have won a combined five tag team titles, but their going to be going up against two guys that have won four each, both with four different partners!”


“That’s right,” adds Mak. “Wild and Dangerous mesh with each other better than any team that’s ever been put together, but Raynor and Maddix have proven that they can mesh well with just about anybody! We’ve already seen Wild and Dangerous compete against two of the most accomplished individual tag team wrestlers, in the form of Toxxic and Landon Maddix, and those contests were surprisingly even. Now, they’re going to have to face off against, bar none, the two most accomplished individual tag team wrestlers.”


“Well, the one thing that team had going for it was Toxxic,” snipes King. “Toxxic was able to carry that twerp Maddix, and as accomplished as he is in the tag game, I don’t know that Raynor is up to that challenge!”


“We’ll know in a few moments,” says Mak excitedly, “as we send it up to Funyon in the ring!”




“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!” booms Funyon.





Funyon suddenly finds himself interrupted, as Marilyn Manson’s shitty cover of Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” signifies the arrival of the Next Generation!






The fans show their appreciation as Landon Maddix and Chris Raynor make their way out to the ring, accompanied by Landon’s girlfriend Megan Skye.


“Making their way towards the ring at this time,” booms Funyon, “and being accompanied by Megan Skye: at a total combined weight of four hundred fifty-nine pounds, the team of Chris Raynor, and the SWF Hardcore Champion, Landon ‘La Cucaracha’ Maddix!” Fans continue to show love for the two superstars as they make their way down to the ring; Landon leaps to the apron, looking out at the crowd as Megan climbs the steps. Megan holds open the ropes and Landon bounds into the ring, virtually ignoring Raynor as he spins himself into the center of the ring to pose with Megan.


“Has there ever been a more insufferable twit than this guy?” grumbles King. “This guy hasn’t earned anything he’s ever gotten!”


“Boy, this ought to be interesting,” teases Mak. “The Suicide King gets to call a match featuring his three least favorites superstars in the entire SWF… and at least one of them has to win!”


“What a revolting development this is,” King agrees sadly. Landon’s theme mercifully fades out, to quickly give way to Uncle L and Busta Buss performing “Starsky & Hutch.”






“Their opponents,” booms Funyon, “at a total combined weight of four hundred thirty-nine pounds: WILD! AAAAAND DAAAAANGEROUS!” Wildchild and Johnny dash out from behind the curtain together, slapping hands with the eager fans clamoring around the barricade.


“The fans are thrilled to see Wild and Dangerous together again,” says Mak. “And look at that, King: Johnny Dangerous is coming out without the Heavyweight Championship, to show solidarity with his partner!”


“This guy won’t stop at anything to pull the wool over Wildchild’s eyes,” snarls King. “We all know that he cares more about the Heavyweight Title than he does about their team… in fact, everybody knows that, except for that idiot Wildchild! But I don’t have any sympathy for him, either: he keeps sticking his head out to get his brains bashed in when Dangerous turns his back on him, and it’s only a matter of time before he does it again… so, as far as I’m concerned, he deserves it!”


“I think you’re living too much in the past,” counters Mak, as Wild and Dangerous slide into the ring simultaneously. “Johnny has said that he’s committed to this team, and he’s going to do whatever it takes to prove that he’s still going to stand behind Wildchild, and he’s not going to let the Heavyweight Title come between them like he has before.”


“Talk is cheap,” replies King, as “Starsky and Hutch” fades out. “Dangerous has to prove it to me… and, until he does, I’m going to go with what I’ve seen him do with my own two eyes.” Wild and Dangerous high-five each other before Johnny exits to the apron, leaving Wildchild to start the match as usual, against Landon Maddix; referee Red Herrington motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell, signifying the start of the match:





“Bell’s gone!” shouts Mak, “And we’re underway!” Landon and Wildchild circle each other tentatively, each looking for an attack point.


“We’re about to see whether it’s rest or rust for Wildchild,” remarks King, as WC and Maddix meet in the center of the ring for a collar-and-elbow tie-up; the Next Generation takes control with a hammerlock, and looks out at the fans, an insufferably wide grin on his face. So preoccupied with being pleased with himself is Maddix, that he’s not prepared when Wildchild reverses the hammerlock on him, and then immediately pushes Landon towards the ropes; WC leaps into the air and hooks his hands behind Landon’s head as he rebounds, plants his feet into the Cockroach’s midsection, and launches him overhead with a beautiful Freefall monkey flip! Maddix quickly scrambles to his feet and charges towards Wildchild, but the Tropical Tumbler hooks his arm underneath Landon’s and takes him over with a hiptoss! WC takes Maddix down with another hiptoss, and then slams him into the canvas with his patented snap armdrag!


“I think that answers your question,” says Mak, as Wildchild smoothly transitions to an armbar. “There’s no rust on Wildchild; he’s looking better than ever!” Maddix negotiates his way back to his feet and muscles Wildchild against the ropes; he buries a pair of knees into WC’s midsection to loosen his grip on the armbar and then whips him across the ring. Wildchild dives head-first towards the edge of the ring, and plants his hands on the canvas, straightening his body as he bounces like a board off the ropes and launches himself backwards to execute a handspring attack! Landon, anticipating such a move, ducks and runs underneath Wildchild as he flips overhead… but Maddix is, once again, so pleased with himself for such a clever maneuver, that he failed to notice that Wildchild landed on his feet behind him, rather than crashed and burned on the canvas.


“Landon!” cries Raynor from the corner. “Turn around!” But alas, Maddix reacts a half-second too late, as he finds himself scooped into a slam by the Bahama Bomber! Wildchild leaps off the canvas almost before Maddix lands, and extends his leg to deliver a legdrop across Landon’s throat; in one fluid motion, WC immediately rolls to his feet and leaps off the canvas again, this time crashing down with a legdrop across the throat from the other side! Wildchild remains in this position to apply a cover:













Landon kicks out at one; he gets to his feet, only to be taken back down by another snap armdrag! Landon once again fights his way back to his feet, and lowers his head as he backs WC into a neutral corner; Maddix buries his shoulder into Wildchild’s midsection, and then delivers a series of stinging reverse knife-edge chops to the chest, until Herrington calls for the break. Landon steps away from WC for a moment, and motions to Megan, who distracts the referee as Landon thumbs the Bahaman in the eyes.


“Gah!” exclaims Mak. “Thumb to the eyes! Though I’m sure an old-school rulebreaker like you admires that, huh King?”


“I don’t admire anything that Maddix does,” replies King stubbornly. Landon grabs Wildchild by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but the Human Hurricane leaps up to the top turnbuckle in a single motion, and springs back into the ring, extending his limbs to crash into Maddix with a flying cross-body block! WC hooks the legs as Herrington moves in to count:













Landon kicks out at two! Wildchild beats Landon to his feet and applies a go-behind waistlock; he pushes Landon towards the edge of the ring, only for Maddix to grab on to the top rope and hang on when WC tries to pull him back into a rolling cradle… But the Tropical Tumbler recovers quickly, though, rolling to his feet and leaping high into the air as Maddix turns around, to lock his legs behind the Cockroach’s head and take him over with a scintillating rana! Landon gets back to his feet and rushes towards WC, only to be taken down by yet another snap armdrag! Maddix pounds the canvas in frustration, as the fans loudly voice their approval of the ring action.



“A very fast-paced match so far, King,” says Mak, as Wildchild applies the armbar. “And that’s what Wildchild does best!”


“Positively!” agrees King. “Hey, I’ll give him credit: when Wildchild’s on his game, he’s tough to beat, and when he’s got it all working like he has so far tonight, he’s in rarefied air… but he hasn’t wrestled in over a month, and at some point, you’ve got to be worried about fatigue setting in… as big a roll as he’s been on, he should think about making that tag here pretty soon!” Landon kicks and flops his way over towards the edge of the ring, where he slips his toe onto the bottom rope, and demands a break. Maddix shakes the feeling back into his arm as he backs into his corner and makes an over-the-shoulder tag to the Rayn-Man.


“Tag is made,” says Mak, “and here comes Chris Raynor; King, I believe that this is the first time these two have ever been in the ring together!” Wildchild immediately tries to take control with a go-behind waistlock, but Raynor breaks WC’s grip and powers himself free; the Rayn-man grabs Wildchild’s left wrist and twists it into a top wristlock.


“This’ll be interesting to see how Wildchild contends with Raynor’s power,” muses King. Wildchild, unable to break free, eases his way nonchalantly towards the edge of the ring; he grabs onto the top rope and, before Raynor realizes what’s happening, uses the top rope to leverage himself into a backflip that relieves the pressure, and then counters into a hammerlock!


“Looks like he’s going to do the same thing to Raynor that he does to everyone else!” says Mak. “Namely, use that speed and agility to get out of sticky situations!” Annoyed, Raynor hauls off and throws his arm backwards, smashing WC in the side of the head with an elbow that causes him to release the hammerlock immediately; Raynor lifts Wildchild overhead into a press slam, but the Caribbean Cruiser nimbly squirms free, landing behind the Caveman and applying a waistlock! Wildchild pushes Raynor towards the ropes to try and catch him in a rolling cradle, but Chris hangs onto the top rope, and shrugs off his would-be aggressor; unlike his partner, Raynor also refrains from charging back towards the center of the ring at the waiting Wildchild.


“Smart move by Raynor to not get sucked in,” notes Mak, as Wildchild gives Raynor a deferential nod and somersaults into his corner. “Oh, but there’s a smart move by Wildchild; get the fresh man into the ring!”


“And this should be an interesting matchup,” says King. “You’ve got the two power men of each team in there now!” Johnny and Chris meet for a tie-up, and the Rayn-Man uses his bulk to force Johnny back against the edge of the ring; he backs away when Herrington calls for the break, only to surprise the Barracuda with a kneelift to the midsection! Chris grabs Johnny by the wrist and whips him across the ring, scooping him into his arms as he bounces off the ropes and twisting him around before dropping him back to the mat with a ferocious tilt-a-whirl slam!


“Well, so far it’s fair to say that Raynor’s already fared better than his partner,” notes Mak.


“That’s because his partner sucks!”


Raynor pulls Johnny to his feet and traps him in a side waistlock; he lifts Johnny off the canvas and drops to one knee as he drives the Barracuda down onto his outstretched thigh, causing Johnny to gasp in pain.


“Big move for the Rayn-Man!” says Mak. “He got all of that gutbuster!” Raynor pulls Johnny to his feet and drags him over to his corner, where he makes the tag to Landon; Maddix climbs up to the top rope and dives down into the ring to hammer Dangerous with a flying double-axe handle! Landon scoops Johnny up for a slam, and quickly tags Raynor back in.


“Nice continuity by Maddix and Raynor,” says Mak, as Landon hold Johnny down for Chris to stomp him. “And I must say it’s a little surprising to see them get the first tag team offense in.”


“Raynor came in and slowed the match down,” says King. “That’s been the difference!” Raynor pulls Johnny to his feet and whips him into a neutral corner; he rushes in to follow up with an attack, but the Barracuda gets his feet up at the last second, smashing the Caveman in the face! Chris staggers backwards away from the corner, giving Johnny enough daylight to charge out of the corner and traps Raynor in a front waistlock…






… Before cracking him in the top of the head with a Scorpion Kick! Johnny scrambles over to the corner and makes the tag to Wildchild, who enters the ring to help Johnny whip Raynor into the ropes; they leap into the air as he rebounds and level him with a double dropkick! Moving quickly, Wildchild scrambles over Raynor and covers him as Johnny heads out of the ring. Herrington drops and counts for:






But Raynor powers out after two, sending the Bahaman rolling several feet away from him!


“Talk about authority!” King marvels cheerily. Chris stands back to his feet and takes the few seconds he has to knock some of the cobwebs from his head, before he looks up to see Wildchild streaking towards him like an aquamarine colored bullet! Thinking fast, Raynor suddenly swings out his massive cannon hoping to knock WC back to the Caribbean with a lariat, but the Bahaman ducks underneath Raynor’s lariat and continues to the ropes behind him!


“Come on! Knock him out!” King hollers at Raynor. “Don’t let him run circles around you like that!”


WC hits the ropes and rockets off them; heading right towards his opponent he leaps into the air for a cross-body block –


- but Raynor suddenly spins around and snatches the Bahama Bomber out of midair!




The crowd boos Chris Raynor as he stands straight up, holding onto WC even as he bucks and flails, “-and this could get really ugly for the Bahama Bomber in a hurry,” says Mak. “There is no way he can come close to matching Raynor’s strength.”


Chris turns towards the Wild and Dangerous corner; he wants to make sure Dangerous gets a good eyeful of what is about to happen to his partner, “-but where the heck is Johnny?” asks King.


Much to Chris’ surprise the Barracuda is anywhere but his corner… which could only mean –




Dangerous comes in from behind and shoulder tackles Raynor’s leg, sending the former carnie toppling over backwards to the mat with WC right on top!




King mutters; “That cheating son of a… ”


Dangerous makes his move and then quickly exits to his corner with the referee admonishing him the entire way. Once Johnny is in his proper place the referee turns back and with WC lying on top of a face-up Raynor he counts a pin…








Landon kicks the toe of his boot into Wildchid’s head, ending the count at two!


“This is just great!” King moans. “Not only do we have the biggest cheaters in Wild and Dangerous present but Maddix too! This match could go on forever!”


“There called double teams King – it’s an integral part of tag team wrestling,” says Francis.


“When they’re illegal double teams it’s called cheating!” the Gambling Man protests. “Johnny Dangerous hadn’t been the legal man for a good minute when he entered the ring to attack Chris Raynor. Same thing for Landon’s attack on Wildchild… and that wasn’t even a double team - that was Landon illegally breaking up the pin!”


Landon heads back to his corner, while Chris and Wildchild both get back up to their feet. Wildchild’s feeling a little woozy after having his skull spiked by Landon’s boot and Raynor takes note of the situation and closes in on his opponent.


“Wildchild might have been slowed from that attack and his speed was the biggest thing going for him against Chris Raynor,” Mak notes. Raynor knows that if he can just get a hold on Wildchild he can power him right out of this match. Unfortunately, getting a hold on Wildchild might be a little trickier than what he would have originally thought! He grabs Wildchild around the waist from behind but WC quickly grabs Chris’ arm and spins out and then quickly steps behind the former Carnie, locking that hammerlock into place once more!


“However, I might also want to add in the fact that Wildchild is no stranger to facing opponents far stronger than him,” Francis corrects himself as WC cranks back on Chris’ arm and Raynor howls mercilessly! The crowd starts to get riled up in favor of the Bahaman once more while Landon pounds the stuffing out of the turnbuckle padding!


“Come on, Chris,” King begs. “You’re five times stronger than this circus freak!”


King’s comments seem to come almost on cue as Raynor abruptly spins around, easily ripping his arm free of WC’s grasp while swinging his free elbow around –




- and directly into Wildchild’s skull! WC staggers to the side having been knocked loopy and doesn’t give any resistance to Chris this time as the caveman grabs the Bahaman by his arm and quickly pulls him into a short-armed clothesline!




“See, a few of those powerful hits and WC is down for the count,” King sings. Raynor drops to his knees and applies a lateral press on Wildchild for:






NO! Wildchild kicks out and rolls off his back! Raynor snatches WC in a side headlock—he isn’t about to let the Bahaman have an inch of space to get away—and walks him to the Madnor corner –




“Tag is made and here comes Landon,” says Mak.


Maddix hops over the ropes, into the ring, and then kicks WC in the gut! Having carefully subdued the Bahaman Landon grabs WC by one of his wrists while Raynor grabs the other, and the tag team tandem sends WC across the ring with a double Irish whip. Wildchild hits the ropes and rebounds while Chris drops to one knee and holds his other knee out…


“What are these two up to now?” Francis looks on a bit perplexed, until Landon drops to the mat and catches WC with a drop toe hold –








The crowd winces at the impact as do the announcers.


“Oh my God!” hollers Mak. “Obviously Wild and Dangerous aren’t the only ones with some vicious double teams!”


“You’ve forgotten that both of these guys are accomplished tag team wrestlers on their own,” King reminds his announcing partner. “I’m sure they came up with that one… well okay, I’m sure Raynor came up with that one and let Maddix in on it.”


“Well Landon is his partner,” Mak stresses.


Landon quickly makes the cover as Raynor exits the ring.













NO! Johnny drops kicks Landon off his partner right before the count of three! Herrington gets up to give Dangerous the what for when his attention is diverted by Raynor heading into the ring!!


“NO! Get out of there Chris – it’s a set up!”


King’s words are of no use. Chris charges in to put a whopping on Dangerous like never before, but the referee stops him ahead of time and orders him out of the ring! Unfortunately for Raynor the referee’s back turned to the opposition is never beneficial against a team that knows when to strike. Johnny grabs WC by the arm and drags him across the ring to the Wild and Dangerous corner, leaving him just a decent stretch from the post before going after Landon.


“What a load of crap! How is the referee is going to let Wild and Dangerous get away with this!?” King spits.


“He wouldn’t let them get away with it if he knew what Johnny was up to,” Mak answers heatedly. “If Raynor would stay in his spot the referee wouldn’t have to waste all of his time getting him to return to his corner!”


Maddix dazedly stands up and gets belted with a foot in his gut by Dangerous, before getting dragged onto the Barracuda’s shoulder and them rammed into the mat with a, “-Spinal Explosion!” calls Francis. “I think that’s as much as Johnny’s going to get out of this one. Herrington looks to have Chris Raynor back out of the ring.”


“And not a second to soon either,” King sarcastically says as Dangerous returns to his corner as well – the referee having seen none of it!


Of course, the crowd loves every second of it and they roar in approval. Herrington can only look at Landon, see Wildchild’s new location and then look at Johnny standing in his corner holding the tag rope like he should be… and then throw up his arms in defeat.


“And to think that he’s the World Heavyweight Champion and acting like that,” King hisses.


Wildchild finally rolls over and reaches out to make the easy tag to Johnny. Dangerous comes into the ring and though Landon is trying to make his way to his corner he doesn’t have a chance of making it in time. Dangerous grabs Landon by his ankle then drags him back to the middle of the ring, making sure to keep him at a good distance from his partner… as well as to make sure that Landon is no where near the ropes. Johnny raises up Landon’s leg and then steps over…


“Dangerous is looking to clinch in the Barracuda, his deadly over-the-shoulder half crab,” Francis says, as Johnny tries to lock the move in and the crowd moves to the edge of their seats to see it locked in. Landon bucks and flails to try and worm his way free, knowing all to well the dangers of getting trapped in this. Finally, Landon shakes Johnny off him and then rolls up to his feet before taking off for the far side of the ring.


Landon hits the ropes and comes rocketing back towards the Barracuda, looking to land a monstrous lariat! NO! Johnny ducks down to narrowly avoid the clothesline, pops up from behind Maddix and shoots the leg.


“This could be the match! He’s going for –” shouts Mak, and Johnny lifts Maddix off the mat, looking for the MI Slam!








The ring quivers from the impact of the MI Slam, and Dangerous is almost frothing at the mouth to make the cover when suddenly there comes a rumbling from the far side of the ring…


“As the man I replaced on this mic would say – business is about to pick up,” Mak says, though far more eloquently than what would have come from the longdoggah’s mouth. Dangerous pivots on one foot and spins around to see Raynor charging for him like a runaway bull charging a matador!






Raynor plows into the Barracuda with a barrage of fists!


“He isn’t about to give Dangerous the opportunity to make good on his MI Slam!” King shouts in excitement. “In fact, I think he might want to simply kick the shit out of the World Champion in front of the entire world!!”


Dangerous is rocked from the first few shots but when Raynor tries to go to the well one time to many, Johnny ducks down to avoid the hit and then jumps up –




“And LEVELS Raynor with a springing side kick!” calls Mak. “All hell has broken loose here and the referee has lost total control!”


Raynor is dropped to the mat but he quickly rolls back up to his feet! Johnny moves to put him right back down though, and launches a spinning heel kick at Chris’ face –


NO! Raynor, showing that he is the dominate and strongest player in this ring catches Dangerous’ foot in midair! He can’t help himself but to chuckle ever so slightly as Dangerous’ eyes widen to roughly the size of saucers; Johnny knowing he’s in a bad, bad situation with no time to react –




-and Chris plows the World Champion over with a stiff lariat! Johnny is quick to get back up to his feet but he’s seemingly shell shocked; staggering across the ring and falling into the far ropes. Raynor charges after him to clothesline the Barracuda straight out of the ring, but when he swings out his arm Johnny ducks down, shoots Chris’ knees and then LIFTS to send Chris overhead…


“Oh… my… God.”


…and right over the top rope!


“But Chris lands safely on the outside apron!” King chuckles. Chris reaches out and grabs Johnny by the neck, when suddenly a flash of aquamarine and gold bolts into the scene!


“It’s Wildchild! I guess he’s rested back up,” Mak says as WC leaps to the ropes just to the side of where Raynor and Johnny stands and then springs off to go over the top rope, snatching Chris by the head and dragging him down to the floor with a tornado DDT!










Now that Raynor is dispatched, Johnny heads back for Landon. By now Maddix is up though still smarting from the MI Slam, and he is unable to offer up a fight. Dangerous easily doubles Maddix over with a kick to the gut and then hauls him up in an electric chair position! The fans move to the edges of their seats in anticipation, which seemingly gets WC’s attention. Wildchild hops back up to the apron and then quickly scales the nearby post!


“Wild and Dangerous is looking to end this. There going for a-” Mak shouts as Wildchild launches himself from the post, into the ring, just as Johnny starts to bring Landon down with the electric chair drop, and WC grabs both sides of Maddix’s head to plow him into the canvas!








“It’s over!” says Francis.


Johnny quickly floats over Maddix and applies a lateral press, netting him a count of:










“Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon bellows. “The winners of this match by pinfall, WIIIIIIIIILLLLLD! AAAAAAAANNND DANGEROUS!!


Their theme pumps ferociously across the arena as Herrington raises the arms of Wild and Dangerous in victory.


“Wild and Dangerous look to be back in winning form after a one month lay off,” says Francis. “To be honest, it doesn’t look like they ever took a day off and now they’ll have their rematch with Revolution Zero.”


Wild and Dangerous head out of the ring, slapping hands with the fans on their way out and knowing that six times is only one step away…


As we:




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“A big win for Wild and Dangerous,” says Mak. “And it looks like they’ve got something to say; let’s go down to Ben Hardy, who’s standing at ringside with Wild and Dangerous!”


“Thanks, Mak,” says Ben. “Johnny, Wildchild, you guys looked like you were on your game for not having teamed together in a month! King said he thought you guys looked more like two individuals than a team early on, but it looked like you got it together pretty quickly!”


“We always do,” replies Johnny. “No matter how long we’ve been doing our own thing, when we come together, it’s just like we’ve always been. Like my man Wildchild said, we form like Voltron. And now that Voltron is back in action, we’re going to eliminate all the evil ro-beasts that have been threatening the tag team division: whether it’s Maddix and Raynor, or the WCE… or Revolution Zero…”




“Now Wildchild,” says Ben, “you told us a few weeks ago that there wasn’t any rivalry between you and Revolution Zero; have you changed your position on that?”


“Not at all,” replies WC. “Dere ain’t not’in personal. I got no beef wit’ de Revoltin’ Zeroes… Dey jus’ happen t’have somet’in’ dat we want, an’ since we’re owed a rematch, we’re gon’ take it!”




“Johnny,” says Ben, “Coming up next, Toxxic and Michael Alexander are going to face off to see who will challenge you at Genesis for the Heavyweight Championship; do you have any preference?”


“Well, with all due respect to Michael Alexander,” replies Johnny, “Beating on Toxxic never gets old; I’d love to have another opportunity to smack him around on the biggest stage… And, if we can get a shot at the tag titles, I could even give him a sneak preview of the beating I’ll be handing out!”


“No lack of confidence on the part of the former champions!” shouts Ben, as Wild and Dangerous head back up the ram. “King, Mak, back to you!”


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“Fans, we’re back here for our main event,” Mak Francis says, “and it’s going to be off the hook! We’ve got two of the best singles competitors currently in the federation going head-to-head for the right to face-”




“-face Johnny Dangerous at Genesis VII,” the Franchise continues with a venomous glance at his broadcast partner. “King, care to hazard a prediction on who’s going to win this one?”


“It’s a tricky one for sure,” the Gambling Man admits, “because you have the technical excellence of Michael Alexander up against… well, Toxxic’s still a bit flippy-floppy,” he concedes, “but damn it, he gets the job done.”


With that the sounds of ‘Dread Rock’ by Paul Oakenfold start to buzz out of the arena’s PA system and Da Vinci’s Vetruvian Man flickers up on the Smarktron as the lights start to strobe. The fans know what’s coming next and start to boo… and sure enough, Michael Alexander steps out onto the soundstage just as the Smarktron shows him applying the Gordian Knot to an unlucky victim.


“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the right to challenge for the World Title at the main event of Genesis VIII,” Funyon booms. “Introducing first, from Greenville, South Carolina; he weighs in tonight at 221lbs and is the self-professed Professor of Pain… MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-CHAEL… ALEXXXXXXXXX-ANNNNNNNNNNNNNDER!!”




Alexander makes his way down the ramp, jawing with the fans as he comes and clearly fired up for tonight’s contest. The Mad Scientist of the Mat pauses for a moment to argue with a kid holding an ‘Alexander Sucks’ sign, then rolls into the ring and blanks referee Brian Warner before taking up station in the corner where he initiates a few pre-match stretches.


“I’m amazed Michael Alexander hasn’t managed to secure himself a title so far in his SWF career,” Mak Francis says, shaking his head. “He came within touching distance of the New Blood Title, but Fulminatus just came out on top.”


“Goddamn masked idiot,” King spits.


Abruptly every light in the arena hits full and the Smarktron whites out. For a moment there is quiet, then:





The raucous rolling soccer chant roars out over the PA system, followed immediately by the oozing bassline of ‘The Gush’ by Raging Speedhorn. The Smarktron quickly darkens down to black, jagged white letters flashing up a familiar slogan one word at a time:




Three chords ring out and the Smarktron changes: Toxxic gets knocked from the top rope to the floor by a Nathaniel Kibagami springboard enzuigiri; Michael Stephens gets taken from the top rope to the mat with the Super Mark of the Beast; he gets chokeslammed out of the Clusterfuck by Janus. Then the shot changes once more to show Toxxic taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Stephens Shock Syndrome as it starts to flicker and intercut with his grinning face, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the moment the song kicks into gear and the-




-stagewide eruption of red pyro announcing the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! And through the flame and smoke…




…with his Tag Title strapped around his waist and his Stables Title slung over his right shoulder…




…England shirt on in honour of his country’s 3-0 dismissal of Russia last week…




…comes the former four-time World Champion.


“And his opponent,” Funyon booms as Toxxic reaches the bottom of the ramp and rolls into the ring with a lopsided grin on his face, “from Nottingham, England and representing SWF Stable Champions Revolution Zero; he weighs in tonight at 218lbs and is one-half of the SWF Tag Team Champions, this is the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’, TOXXXXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!”




“You know that Toxxic would love to go to Genesis again and take the World Title from Johnny Dangerous once more,” Mak says, “but will he be able to get past Michael Alexander? I think the Straight-Edge Sensation might be so focused on the biggest show of the year that he might overlook his opponent for tonight, and you just can’t afford to do that when you’re against someone with the ability of Alexander.”


“Whichever man wins tonight, I’m going be happy,” King says. “Either way, Johnny Dangerous is going to have his ass handed to him.”


Toxxic strips off his trenchcoat and his England shirt; Michael Alexander rolls his neck and saunters out of his corner, clearly not overawed by his opponent. Funyon exits the ring, Brian Warner checks both men are ready and calls for the bell…




“…and we’re underway!” Mak calls, “it’s time to see who goes to Genesis!”


The two men advance towards each other without any trace of nervousness and instantly launch into a collar-and-elbow tie-up, which Toxxic just a quickly turns into an armdrag that snaps Michael Alexander over! The Mad Scientist of the Mat rolls through and comes up to his feet with a scowl on his face, then shakes his arm out as Toxxic grins infuriatingly.






The crowd seem less than enamoured with the two men as they close on each other again. They go into a lock-up once more, but this time Alexander slips behind his opponent and grabs a rear waistlock. Toxxic reaches down and prises his opponent’s hands apart, then twists out to one side with an armwringer in an attempt to get the upper hand. However Michael Alexander quickly rolls through the move and back up to his feet, then reverses the hold and traps Toxxic the same way.


“Toxxic’s a brave man, trying to trade holds with Alexander,” Francis notes.


Alexander twists the trapped limb further but Toxxic manages to get his other hand on the ropes, then performs a front flip braced on the ropes to neutralise the torque on his arm! Alexander gapes for a moment which allows Toxxic to swing at him with a right-armed clothesline… but Alexander ducks and Toxxic briefly ties himself up with his own arm that Alexander still has hold of. The Professor of Pain sees his chance and releases his opponent’s wrist but instantly grabs for a full nelson instead, only to see Toxxic slip out and drop down to escape! Alexander instinctively reaches forwards and down to try and secure his grip, but Toxxic reaches upwards with his legs and hooks them under Alexander’s armpits to bring the startled South Carolinan over into a rolling clutch pin!










…but Alexander kicks out almost immediately! Both men start to scramble to their feet but Alexander charges forwards and takes Toxxic down with a blast double-leg, then jacknifes over into a pin…










…but Toxxic kicks out this time! As they come up this time the Englishman wraps his arm around Alexander’s head and rolls backwards, trapping his opponent’s legs as he does so…










…but Alexander gets out from small package before Warner can find the mat for a second time! This time Michael doesn’t go for a pinning combination and instead grabs Toxxic’s arm as both men start to rise, pulling him over into an armdrag of his own; the Mad Scientist doesn’t release the limb however, instead keeping hold and performing a forward roll over Toxxic’s chest to pull the straight-edger onto his front, then looks for a Fujiwara armbar. Toxxic has no desire to get caught in such a painful hold though and manages to muscle himself up on his other arm for long enough to tuck his head in and roll forwards onto his back. Alexander finds his leverage gone, and before he can react Toxxic snakes his legs up and wraps them around his opponent’s head to pull him down into a headscissors.


“What a pace these two are setting!” Mak Francis exclaims as the crowd applaud politely, “but Toxxic’s going to need his wrestling boots on to keep up with Alexander!”


Sure enough, the Mad Scientist of the Mat gives his opponent no chance to get comfortable, as he performs a brief headstand in the hold and then ‘pops’ himself out backwards before lunging forwards at the off-guard Englishman and snaring him with a side headlock. Toxxic, probably kicking himself for not blocking the method of escape that he’s used so often himself, wraps both arms around Alexander’s waist and hauls to try and bring the Carolinan over onto his shoulders for a pin…










…but Alexander kicks his legs and rights himself, then punishes his opponent with an extra-tight squeeze! Toxxic’s legs kick for a moment in pain and Alexander grins.


“Toxxic won’t like this much,” Mak points out, “remember that long headlock Danny Williams trapped him in at From The Fire that frustrated him so much?”


“Yeah, and look where that got Williams,” King snorts, “dropped on his head and beaten so bad he lost to freakin’ Johnny Dangerous a week or so later.”


Michael Alexander is starting to get back up to his feet and hauling Toxxic with him, the Englishman still trapped in the headlock. Once upright Alexander releases his hold but only to spin behind his opponent and, while Toxxic’s head momentarily swims from the change in blood pressure, apply a chickenwing.


“Looks like Alexander might be going for the Dragon Wing here,” King says with interest, but Toxxic fights off the arm that snakes forward in the search for a Dragon Sleeper and instead grabs Alexander around the head, then drops down for an inverted sitout jawbreaker!


“Toxxic wrenched his arm with that counter, but he’s got a chance for a cover!” Mak shouts as the Englishman rolls on top of the stunned Alexander, not without a wince…


















…but Alexander kicks out well before three. Toxxic grabs his opponent and brings him up, then Irish whips Alexander towards the ropes; the Professor of Pain is not in the mood for travelling today though, and reverses the momentum to send Toxxic into the cables instead. The Englishman rebounds and ducks under a clothesline that Alexander swings at him, runs on to the far ropes and explodes back off them to snare the startled Carolinan with a tiltawhirl headscissors takedown! Alexander bounces off the mat and Toxxic dives on top again…


















…but the disorientation doesn’t allow Toxxic to snatch the win as Alexander kicks out again! Toxxic brings his opponent up to his feet again, eager to maximise his advantage, then initiates another Irish whip. Alexander doesn’t reverse this one and he hits the ropes… and holds onto them to kill his momentum, then watch Toxxic crash down to the mat as his dropkick hits nothing but air! Alexander steps forwards and the straight-edger rolls at him, trying to trip him; Michael hurdles him and runs for the far ropes, then as Toxxic gets back up Alexander leaps to the second ropes and springboards back off to nail the former World Champion with a leaping calf kick!






That actually gets a cheer from the crowd as Toxxic hits the mat holding his jaw; Alexander smirks and poses for the crowd, basking in the attention before chewing out someone in the front row for not cheering.


“I’m surprised Michael Alexander was able to keep up with Toxxic in that fast-paced action,” Mak Francis admits, “but he does keep pulling out surprises.”


Alexander goes for a cover…


















…but Toxxic kicks out well before he’s in any danger of losing the match. Alexander bring the Englishman up to his feet and then takes hold of Toxxic’s leg from behind, setting him up for the reverse Dragon Screw… but Toxxic jumps up and lashes back with his other foot, catching Alexander in the gut with a mule kick and rolling forward away from his opponent! The Mad Scientist staggers, gasping for air, and Toxxic rolls up to his feet before charging with a spinning wheel kick that knocks his opponent flat onto his back.


“Toxxic really won’t want Alexander going to work on his leg,” King notes, “but if the Professor of Pain can manage it I’d say that’s his ticket to victory.”


Toxxic wants to take advantage of his opponent’s momentary incapacitation, and he looks to capitalise by heading to the turnbuckles and vaulting to the top in one fluid motion, then coming off with a flying fistdrop to Alexander’s forehead…




Alexander spasms; Toxxic gets back up, shakes his fist out and heads back to the corner to do it again…




This time when Toxxic gets back to his feet he raises his right fist and points to it…


‘One more?’




The crowd give that a positive response (mainly because most of them would love to land a fist between Alexander’s eyes) and Toxxic goes to the corner for a third time, vaults upwards and balances on the top buckle to kiss his fist for a second then leaps back off and drives it down into Michael Alexander’s face as he lands!




Toxxic rolls into the cover and Brian Warner drops to count…


















…but Alexander kicks out again! The Straight-Edge Sensation pulls Alexander up to his feet, then takes a firm grip on his opponent’s wrist and Irish whips him towards the turnbuckles; Alexander is savvy to it however and reverses the momentum to send Toxxic towards the ringpost instead, only to see the Englishman vault up to the top rope again, then twist and come diving back at him with a flying clothesline!




“Role Reversal!” King shouts, “no-one in the fed does that better than Toxxic!”


“No-one else in the fed does it anyway,” Mak says, confused.


“My point still stands.”


Both men have ended up on their backs from the move as Toxxic rolled away from Alexander; now he coils his legs up under his chin, then kips up explosively!






The fans who cheered for the final fistdrop are back to jeering now, but Toxxic doesn’t mind overly and he flips a casual v-sign at one bank of spectators, then drags Alexander up off the canvas again; only to wrap both arms around the Carolinan’s chest and hoist him up then dump him down with a Sambo Slam, but Toxxic believes in being thorough. As a result, when he heads for the turnbuckles and the top rope again, Michael Alexander has no breath in his body to get away. Toxxic stands atop the turnbuckles, twirls his fingers overhead and leaps off-




-to come crashing down with the Hangover on his opponent’s throat! He rolls into the cover…


















…and Alexander kicks out! Toxxic waits for his opponent to get onto all fours, then snags Alexander’s arm and locks it around his leg before diving across his opponent and taking him over with a La Magistral…



















-but Alexander kicks out again!


“Toxxic nearly had him that time,” Mak Francis exclaims, “if he can keep up this pressure then- no, Alexander’s taken him down!”


Indeed, the Mad Scientist of the Mat has grabbed a single leg takedown as Toxxic got too close, perhaps a little overconfident with the way the match has been going. Before the startled Englishman can react Alexander rotates into a spinning toehold, then leans forward and grabs a front facelock before falling to one side and trapping Toxxic in the Ouroboros!


“Excellent tactics from Alexander there,” King says, applauding, “Toxxic had turned the pace up too high; this not only allows Alexander to control the speed of the match but it grounds his opponent and he can start wearing the Straight-Edge Sensation down.”


“The beauty of Alexander’s style is that what seems to be a simple containment hold, a defensive manoeuvre if you will, is also an important part of his overall arsenal,” Mak Francis agrees. “This will prevent Toxxic from outpacing him but will also put pressure on his neck and leg, and frustrate him.”


“I just said that…”






The chants are starting to ring out from the crowd; clearly they’re unimpressed with this new, lower match tempo that Michael Alexander has introduced. The Professor of Pain doesn’t seem too happy with their analysis, and lets them know it.


‘Boring!? This is technical genius, you morons!’






“For a moment I thought Charlie Matthews was back in the SWF,” Mak quips.


“That’s the only thing that could make this match better,” King muses. “Well, apart from Taamo coming out of retirement, or Prime Evil reforming, or Chris Wilson blowing this arena… actually no, forget I said that.”


Toxxic clearly isn’t comfortable, but he’s also nowhere near tapping out. Michael Alexander appears to weigh up the pros and cons of continuing the hold and decides against it; he releases his opponent and picks Toxxic up off the mat before the Englishman can un-kink himself, then takes him back down with a rolling neckbreaker.




Toxxic clutches his neck and Alexander piles on top for the cover…


















..no beans on this one, but the Mad Scientist of the Mat is undismayed and pulls Toxxic back up to a vertical base once more. This time he drives Toxxic’s face into his knee, then slips to the straight-edger’s side in one fluid motion before taking Toxxic back down to the math with a Russian leg sweep to complete the Whiplash. He floats across to make another pin…


















…and is once again unsuccessful as Toxxic kicks out!


“I think Michael Alexander may be looking to wear Toxxic out before he targets his legs,” Mak Francis muses, “the last time he tried it Toxxic countered and then built some momentum. He needs to be sure he’s going to succeed.”


“But how long does he have?” King argues. “Toxxic’s not going to sit around forever waiting for Alexander to decide the time is right, and it only takes three seconds to win a match. Alexander could spend ten minutes working the Straight-Edge Sensation over, then lose to a flash pin. Toxxic’s tricky enough to pull it off.”


“True,” Mak concedes, “in terms of singles titles held Toxxic is the most successful wrestler Alexander has yet faced; the onus is surely on him to find a way to beat Toxxic, not vice versa.”


Michael Alexander seems to have a method in mind of doing that; the Professor of Pain has brought Toxxic up and picked him off the mat as if for a slam, then holds him in a fallaway position. He winds up…



…snaps his upper body the other way and releases Toxxic’s legs, swinging the Englishman around to deliver the backbreaker known as Foucalt’s Pendulum…



…but whether through Alexander putting too much power in it or through some device of his own, Toxxic overspins and wraps himself right around Alexander’s body, then snares the startled Carolinan’s left arm with his legs and jerks his body to bring his opponent down in a crucifix pin!



















-but Alexander kicks out!


“Wow, he nearly got him that time!” Mak calls, “flash pin King, just as you said!”


“I know, I’m- ow!” the Gambling Man breaks off as Alexander beats Toxxic back to his feet and then launches a basement dropkick into his opponent’s knee, “I felt that!”


Alexander gets up, backs off a pace and charges…




“We all felt that!” Mak replies as the Professor of Pain lays his opponent out with the shining heel-kick enzuigiri, “Michael Alexander wasting no time in reasserting himself there! In fact he might have knocked Toxxic clean out!”


Alexander clearly feels that this is a theory worth testing…



















-but Toxxic kicks out! Alexander shrugs, then rolls the Englishman over onto his front and starts to lock his legs together…


“Gordian Knot!” Mak calls, “he’s going for it!”


…but Toxxic’s going for the ropes, and the struggling double champion makes it to the safety of the cables before Alexander can get his favoured hold locked in. Alexander holds on to his opponent’s ankles and actually tries to pull Toxxic away, but Brian Warner gets in his face and starts a five-count and the Mad Scientist reluctantly releases, unwilling to lose his spot in Genesis by DQ.


“I guess he wasn’t knocked out, then,” King observes laconically.


“Michael Alexander went to target Toxxic’s legs again, but the Straight-Edge Sensation managed to evade again,” Mak Francis says, ignoring the Suicide King. “However, it looks like Alexander’s stalking him now…”


Sure enough, Toxxic is pulling himself up on the ropes but Michael Alexander is approaching from behind and-




-nails Toxxic in the thigh with a hard kick! Toxxic winces and staggers, clutching at the ropes for support, and Alexander does it again-




-then looks around at the crowd with a smile on his face.


‘One more?’




It seems that plain and simple kicks, no matter how painful, aren’t as popular as a flying fistdrop. Not that this bothers Alexander, who shrugs and lashes out again anyway.




Unfortunately for him he strays too close to Toxxic in his follow-through this time, and the Englishman whirls round to grab his head in both hands, then bring his own skull quickly into close proximity!






It’s worth noting that everyone loves a headbutt; everyone except Michael Alexander in this instance, who staggers back dizzily. Toxxic limps after him, grimacing with each step-




-and Alexander goes to the eyes. Which infuriates Brian Warner (and doesn’t go down too well with Toxxic, we can assume), but pleases at least some of the crowd.






Toxxic swipes desperately at his face while black-tinged tears roll down his face. Michael Alexander sees his chance to really open up on his favourite target and runs past the straight-edger to hit the ropes behind him, then bounces off and accelerates towards him before dropping and diving for a chopblock…






…but Toxxic must have heard him coming and guessed his intention, or seen him out of the corner of one watering eye; however he managed it the Englishman predicted his opponent’s move and leapt straight upwards, causing Michael Alexander to not only pass beneath him but also be in a perfect position to be landed on with a double stomp to the spine! Alexander lets out an agonised yell and Toxxic falls off him, the human body never being the flattest or most stable surface at the best of times, especially not when someone’s been trying to hurt your leg. As a result it’s a couple of seconds before Toxxic can try and follow up, and those few seconds give Michael Alexander a chance to recover a bit as well. Toxxic tries to lock his opponent’s legs together in preparation for the Regal Stretch, but before he can get it cinched in Michael Alexander takes his cue to make for the ropes as fast as possible and hang on, stymieing the former World Champion! It’s Toxxic’s turn to be frustrated but the Englishman releases his opponent and backs off, beckoning Alexander onto him but being careful to keep the leg Alexander has been targeting just a little further away.


“See, that’s not good ring strategy there,” The Franchise comments, “he may be trying to protect himself but by placing his legs like that Toxxic has an uneven weight distribution, and a savvy opponent will read that and react accordingly.”


Michael Alexander pulls himself up on the ropes, turns around and sees Toxxic and takes two steps towards him, then shoots low…


…and Toxxic drops down to snare his opponent in a front facelock before he even gets to his legs.


“I remember Toxxic caught Tom Flesher like that at Genesis,” Mak says, “but Tom was able to wrestle his way out.”


Michael Alexander probably could as well. But the rookie is getting frustrated, and is in the mood for more direct action. Which may be why he forces his way up to a vertical base with Toxxic still hanging on, then simply wraps his arms around the straight-edger and hoists him bodily off the mat! Toxxic’s legs kick for a second but only a second, because Alexander bulls forward and dumps him down onto a turnbuckle, crotching him!




Everyone loves seeing Toxxic take one in the happy-happy-joy-joy area; everyone except Brian Warner that is, at least in his professional life. However he doesn’t interfere too much as Michael Alexander backs away from his opponent’s suddenly limp grip, then reaches up and delivers a massive slap upside Toxxic’s head!






“Palm strike or bitchslap?” Francis asks King, in tones of pure scientific enquiry as the Englishman sways unsteadily on the top rope.


“Bitch strike?” is the Gambling Man’s best guess.


Michael Alexander assures Brian Warner that yes that was an open hand (just in case someone in the mezzanine didn’t hear the noise), then starts to climb up the ropes after his opponent. Toxxic’s head is still spinning and the straight-edger mounts little resistance as Alexander hooks him for a suplex, then starts to stand up on the top rope…


“Alexander’s going for a superplex!” Francis shouts, “look out below!”


…but Toxxic starts fighting back suddenly! He fires one, two, three right hands into Alexander’s ribs…




…and Alexander takes him up, over and down to the mat anyway!




“We might be watching two cruiserweights, but you still get a real feel for the impact on the ring when you’re sitting here at ringside!” Mak Francis calls, “I don’t care who you are or how heavy you are, being suplexed from the top rope into the ring is gonna hurt!


Toxxic is flat on his back, doing his best impression of a stunned starfish. Michael Alexander isn’t in a much better way however, gasping for breath and reaching around to hold his back. Brian Warner takes a look at both of them, waits for a sign of movement, shrugs, and starts counting.







Warner winces as he raises his hand again. Flesher’s going to be really pissed if he counts out both options for the Genesis main event…




…and there is movement! Michael Alexander sucks in a deep breath, rolls over and drapes an arm across Toxxic! Brian Warner instantly drops to the mat and starts a rather faster count…



















-but Toxxic kicks out! Michael Alexander summons enough breath to shout in frustration, claws his way into a more complete cover and hooks the leg…



















-but Toxxic kicks out again!






‘Shut up!’ Alexander screams at the crowd, who seem to have found a new way to rile the Mad Scientist of the Mat, but the assembled fans don’t stop in their taunting. Gritting his teeth Michael Alexander starts to get back up to his feet, and pulls Toxxic with him.


“Michael Alexander hasn’t really been able to mount any sustained offence on Toxxic’s legs, which would normally be his prime targets,” Mak Francis notes, “in attempting to knock Toxxic out enough to get at them you have to wonder if he might just have better luck in trying to incapacitate the Straight-Edge Sensation for a win outright.”


“I think we might be seeing that very change in strategy right now Mak,” King replies, “it may lack a certain amount of finesse in some eyes to take a pinfall victory when you prefer to make your opponent tap out, but Michael Alexander knows when substance is more important than style.”


“I couldn’t agree more,” Mak says, “you don’t get points for form anyway, but when a chance to main event Genesis is up for grabs then rough-and-ready is the route to take if it gets the job done.”


Michael Alexander has now reached a vertical base, and he pulls Toxxic up as well facing away from him… then in one swift motion he mimes a throat-cut, ducks his head underneath Toxxic’s left arm and hoists…


“EVENT HORIZON!” Mak roars.


…but Toxxic boosts himself off the mat as well and flips backwards over his opponent, landing on his feet behind the startled and slightly unbalanced Mad Scientist! Alexander whirls around but meets a kick to the gut, then gets trapped in a front facelock for the split second it takes Toxxic to bring his right arm whirling around and down with the Unfinished Business!




“He got it!” King shouts, “this could be it!”


Sure enough, Toxxic is rolling Alexander over onto his back…



















-but the Professor of Pain kicks out! Toxxic looks over at Brian Warner who holds up a damning two fingers to indicate that Business must remain Unfinished for now, so Toxxic flips are rather less complimentary two-fingered gesture back at him and starts to get back to his feet, pulling Alexander up after him; he goes for an Irish whip but Alexander reverses and sends the Englishman into the ropes, then ducks his head in preparation for a back bodydrop; never a good plan against Toxxic, as he pulls up short and nails his trademark facebuster/DDT combo…




“…and that’s a Sobering Thought,” King calls as Alexander’s head is spiked into the canvas, “and that could also be all she wrote!”


Toxxic rolls his opponent over and hooks the leg…





















“That was close!” Mak shouts, “Johnny Dangerous nearly knew who his opponent was right there and then!”


Toxxic grimaces at Brian Warner, then starts hauling Michael Alexander up once more. It’s time to end this and retake his place at the top of the company, so he now mimes a throat-cutting motion, then underhooks both of his opponent’s arms for the RTF II…


…but whether through inattention or overconfidence his grip is not as tight as it should be, and Alexander breaks it before nailing a double-leg takedown!




Alexander needs to get some time to recover his wits, so he spins around to apply the toehold and reaches forward for the Ouroboros again… but this time Toxxic’s head comes up to meet him, face-to-face!




Alexander staggers backwards holding his head but his troubles aren’t over…






“Kip-up enzuigiri!” Mak shouts, “always unexpected, always effective!”


Not as effective as sometimes though; whether due to the leg work that Alexander had managed or not, Toxxic’s kick was more of a graze than a full-force knockout blow. Michael staggered but remained more or less on his feet, something Toxxic now hopes to remedy with a




















…which Alexander ducks, then reaches up, grabs a Full Nelson and launches Toxxic across the ring!






“RELEASE FULL NELSON SUPLEX!” Mak roars, “is that it? Is that it?”


It takes Alexander a second to get there and roll the limp Toxxic over…




















“HE KICKED OUT!” King shouts, stating the obvious in his excitement, “we’ve still got a match on our hands!”


Not for long if Michael Alexander has a say in it. The Professor of Pain digs deep and drags Toxxic up off the mat before the Englishman has time to recover, then positions himself behind him again and grabs him around the waist.


It’s time to end this.


He lifts his opponent, Toxxic’s weight demonstrating that he hasn’t given himself any unexpected extra boost this time.


He spins his opponent, twirling Toxxic around into position for the powerbomb part of the move…


…and Toxxic’s legs latch around his head just before the Englishman snaps backwards in a hurricanrana, hooking the leg as he does so.


Brian Warner has hair-trigger reactions at this stage of the match.
























“Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner,” Funyon booms over the crowd noise, “and the challenger for the World Heavyweight Title at Genesis VIII… the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation, TOXXXXXXXXXXXXX-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!!”


“We knew it was going to be close,” Mak Francis calls as Toxxic rolls out of the ring, then raises his arms in the air while Michael Alexander’s face shows nothing but stunned disbelief, “but I don’t think we knew quite how close! Toxxic may have had more left in reserve, we’ll never know, but on the basis of what we saw here tonight Michael Alexander took him to the very limit… but it is Toxxic who will go to Genesis and challenge Johnny Dangerous for the World Title, just like he did three years ago!”


“Mak, if Michael Alexander doesn’t main-event Genesis next year, I’ll change my name to Harold and take up a career as a rapper,” the Suicide King states. “He’s got so much potential and so much ability, but tonight Toxxic just had that little edge of experience. Johnny won’t know what’s hit him.


The last thing we see before Storm goes off the air is Austin Sly, The Fabulous Jakey and Amy Stephens coming down the ramp to congratulate Toxxic as we









©2007 RaynMaker Productions for the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation



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