Tony149 0 Report post Posted October 4, 2007 Part I of II Begins with a Heavenly Rockers promo, btw. [b][color="#FF8C00"]This Past Sunday[/color] [color="#4169E1"]ZERO HOUR[/color] Courtesy: [color="#FF0000"]OAOAST Home Entertainment[/color][/b] [quote]With the crowd behind her, Melody weakly crawls to her corner… “YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …and makes the tag, but Charles Robinson is distracted by Logan‘s cry for help. Of course it’s all a ruse to prevent the referee from seeing the tag. As the referee tends to Logan, Holly stuns fans worldwide by DDT’ing Melody! * COLLECTIVE GASP * COLE What the hell?! No! * CLIP * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time...THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Disgusted by the shocking turn of events, fans bombard the ring with debris as Holly-Wood assaults Melody. COLE Holly, you were supposed to be her friend! How could you!? PERCUSSION DDT leaves Melody flat on her stomach. Then Holly comes face to face with her estranged husband Logan Mann…and the two HUG! COACH What a Kodak moment, Cole. Husband and wife together again. Randy Savage and Elizabeth got nothing on Lolly. I’m starting to tear up. COLE I want to throw up. A 4 on 1 beat down ensues until LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO make the save with the aid of a pitchfork and rhinestone belt. Words are exchanged but not much else as OAOAST officials do an excellent job defusing the situation, escorting the Heavenly Rockers backstage.[/quote] We cut to Michael Cole at Sofa Central, joined via satellite by the Heavenly Rockers inside their Sin City recording studio. COLE Thanks for staying with us, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve seen the footage, now let’s hear from the perpetrators in Sunday night’s heinous assault, as the Heavenly Rockers, Colonel Abdullah Nerdly and yes, Holly-Wood have been kind enough to appear on the program, although I can‘t say I‘m too thrilled to about it. LOGAN :asshole2: ABDULLAH Is that how you welcome guests, by insulting them? How can the country built on freedom of speech and expression claim such a thing when it slams those with differing viewpoints? COLE What occurred Sunday night was no freedom of expression, sir. It was borderline criminal assault! ABULLAH :firedevil: LOGAN Calm down, Colonel. Let me handle this. Michael Cole, instead of editorializing you ought to be on your hands and knees thanking us for granting this world exclusive. The Today show, Oprah, Diane Sawyer and Barbara Walters all flooded our HQ looking to land the hottest interview in town. Everybody wants to hear from the Heavenly Rockers. They want to know how Holly could turn her back like that on Melody, the broad who looks up to my wife the same way millions of young girls do her. It’s no secret the most honest people on earth are rock stars and our friends in the adult entertainment industry. Well today’s your lucky day, because it just so happens we‘re not only rock stars... COACH Oh, my God! You and Holly have a sex tape?! LOGAN And not just with each other either. COACH :o HOLLY :wub: LOGAN As I was saying, the Heavenly Rockers aren’t only rock stars; they’re the greatest rock ’n’ wrestling band of all-time! SYNTH :headbang: LOGAN So without further ado, back by popular demand, the original trio of bad boys and nasty girl together again. The Angel of Death who’ll tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the brutally honest truth…my wife Holly-Wood! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Lolly share a sloppy wet kiss, to the delight of Synth. HOLLY The bitch is back and raising more hell than ever! Rather than ask why, which is so cliché, people should be saying about time. It’s about time Melody realized her role in wrestling, and that’s she has none. Melody, here’s a free piece of advice, hon: grow up! Seriously, is it really that big of a shock I decided to spike Melody on her head? Anybody who’s spent 5 minutes with her knows she’ll drive you insane with her geeky behavior. I don’t care about the newest cheats you learned watching that awful G4 channel. I don’t want to camp out in front of a GameStop to buy a game featuring a phony solider at 12 midnight. The one thing that kept me sane was the surprise we had in store for her at Zero Hour. COLE So it was a set-up? HOLLY Duh, stupid! From the beginning. Once we got rid of the Lone Star Gunslingers I knew I could wrap Melody around my little finger. A simple request and she’d be jumping through flaming hoops for me. Worked like a charm. Putting to use my previous skills as a publicist, I leaked word of a pending divorce from Logan and everybody bought it. Melody even tried to hook me up with one of her brothers. Of course I sent word to Logan and now the Sk8ter Boiz are on the disable list along with the Gunslingers. LOGAN :) COLE This was pre-mediated! LOGAN And just like Phil Spector, we got away with it! COLE Before we let you go, what about Los Diablos de Fuego? SYNTH What about them homies? COLE Do you accept their challenge or not? LOGAN You mean that wasn’t some fan boy posting BS online? Los Diablos really want a shot at us? ABDULLAH Please, the Heavenly Rockers have their sights on bigger and better things, namely the One & Only World tag team championship. However, if Los Diablos wish to engage in athletic competition, perhaps my dearest sister Melody can lend them her copy of the latest OAOAST video game because that’s the closest they’ll come. Praise Abdullah and the Heavenly Rockers! [b][color="#FF0000"]*WHIIIR!*[/color] [color="#FF00FF"]*WHIIIR!*[/color][/b] [I]Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you[/I] The satellite feed ends as The Love Doctors head to the squared circle. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the Windy City, at a total combine weight of 436 pounds, MAX ANDERSON and STEVEN PIGLEY…THE LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE DOCTOORRRRSSSS!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Anderson and Pigley send the ladies into a frenzy by removing their lab coats. One overzealous female admirer jumps the railing and pals around with Doctors of Love until she’s pounced on by security and inexplicably the Kansas City Chiefs mascot. COLE The Heavenly Rockers might have taken Los Diablos de Fuego’s challenge lightheartedly, but I assure you Moracca and Mariachi are dead serious about it. Anyway, Coach, our next match has The Love Doctors facing the Beverly Hills Blonds. COACH Yeah, it seems as though the Docs are having a hard time getting over their loss to Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright at Zero Hour and asked for a rematch, which sources inside the OAOAST say Teddy and CW were up for but they had prior engagements to attend. COLE That’s their story and they’re sticking to it, right? COACH Like they’d lie. [I]Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime[/I] The red carpet is rolled out and the Blonds mockingly wave to the crowd, pretending the boos are really cheers. Of course this is all filmed by Molly Nerdly. BUFFER And their opponents, now arriving on the red carpet with MOLLY NERDLY, represent the Enterprise...from Beverly Hills 90210, total combine weight 460 pounds… SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDESSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH On behalf of everyone in the OAOAST, congratulations to Molly for pulling a George Jefferson by moving on up the totem poll. I understand she’s now the first assistant director for all Beverly Hills Blonds projects. COLE I wonder who she had to sleep with for that promotion. COACH :huh: * DINGDINGDING * Dr. Steven Pigley shows a ton of fire, going right after Simon Singleton at the sound of the bell, but Simon takes a rain check and bails to the floor where Molly documents the conversation between him and Ned. Whatever the Handsome Hustler said has Simon ready to go, as he grabs a side headlock out of a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Pigley shoves him off to the ropes and a CRISS-CROSS ensues. Singleton is the first to blink, dropping down before going up for a leapfrog…but Dr. Steven puts on the brakes and The Love Doctors nail Simon with THE LOVEMATIC GRAMPA! ONE… KICKOUT! Singleton staggers to his feet and is placed in a side headlock. The hold is reapplied following a tag, but Simon sends Dr. Max in for the ride…only to be brought down in a SUNSET FLIP! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Simon rakes the eyes and whips Anderson hard to the buckle, but the Doctor of Love leaps onto the middle rope and back at him with a reverse cross body! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! The Blonds tag and Ned comes in swinging, his brawling ability too much for the technically gifted high flying MD to combat. Irish whip, but Max ducks a back elbow and counters Blanchard’s Thesz Press with the famed ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER!! COLE Everybody in the company has one, but I don’t think anyone has it perfected quite like Max Anderson, MD. ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO!! Simon breaks up the pin and taunts the crowd, pointing to his head while Molly captures the moment on video. “BOO!” Until Simon is spun around and floored! “YEAH!” COLE There’s a scene you won’t see in the Beverly Hills Blonds cut of the match. COACH Because the scene’s irrelevant to the story. Blanchard is whipped in and over with a double backdrop, then rammed into Dr. Steven‘s boot. The tag is made and Pigley connects on a big time LARIAT! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Placed in a headlock Ned is rapidly punched in the face. He fires Steven into the corner but the doctor bounces out and barrels through him with a shoulder tackle! Fortunately for the Blonds, Ned lands near their corner and is able to tag out. The Love Doctors decide to do the same and the new legal men, Simon Singleton and Max Anderson, lockup. Simon drives the knee into the gut and clubs Max across the neck. The sound of fleshing meeting flesh echoes throughout the arena as Simon chops Max against the ropes. With a handful of hair in his possession, Simon attempts a hip toss, but Max counters with a monkey flip and dropkick! Singleton reverses the ensuing Irish whip and snaps Anderson over with a swinging neck breaker after a knee to the back courtesy of Ned Blanchard. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT. COLE Fans, we have to take a commercial break. But the tape machines are rolling. Should the match end while we’re away we’ll replay the conclusion after this time out. 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Tony149 0 Report post Posted October 4, 2007 (edited) Part II of II [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color] The Match Continues…[/b] We return to the sight of Ned Blanchard stomping a mud hole in Max Anderson. He brings the doctor out of the corner and plants him in the center of the ring with a vertical suplex. The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT. Blanchard smashes Anderson face-first into Simon’s boots. Singleton accepts the tag and the Blonds deliver a double back elbow to the heart of Dr. Max. Leaping knee drop finds its mark and Simon covers. ONE… TWO… Save by Dr. Steven! The Blonds put the boots to Anderson while referee Nick Patrick deals with Steven. Not to mention the illegal switch that occurs as well. As the announcers bicker over whether a second referee is needed for tag bouts, apparently the new talking point for all Australian rule matches, the Handsome Hustler executes a flawless snap mare and spikes the point of the elbow into Anderson’s sternum! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT with semi-authority, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the Blonds. Sensing Anderson may have developed a second wind, the Blonds look to score with a high-impact maneuver. Ned lifts Max for a suplex as Simon climbs to the top, but Max floats over and pushes the Handsome Hustler into Simon, causing the strawberry blond to CROTCH HIMSELF ON THE BUCKLE! SIMON :o Ned shoots back at Max and into a SLEEPER HOLD! COLE How about that? It was a sleeper that beat The Love Doctors at Zero Hour and it very well could be a sleeper that picks up the win for them tonight. COACH The only difference is Ned won’t quit. Jawbreaker frees Ned from Max’s clutches, but takes a lot out of both men. When it appears The Love Doctors are close to making the tag Simon enters the ring, which immediately grabs the eye of Nick Patrick. “YEAH!” A cheer goes up as the tag is made, but it’s disallowed because the referee didn’t see it. “BOO!” COLE Oh, come on! COACH (laughs) Simon Singleton, smarter than your average blond. While Steven receives an explanation from the referee, the Blonds perform their patent DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! Another illegal switch is made and so is the cover. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! The pin is broken up by Steven Pigley, still steaming over the blown call moments ago. Scoop slam on its way, but Max slips out over the top and nails Simon with a FLATLINER! COLE This may be the break Max needs to make the tag. He desperately needs to tag in the fresh man. Figuring it worked so well the first time, Ned distracts the ref while the Docs tag, causing Dr. Steven and fans alike to fume with rage when the exchange is overruled. Meanwhile, the Blonds try to capitalize with a double suplex, but having had enough Steven attacks them from behind. COACH This guy has no regard for the rules, Cole. That’s a flagrant violation right there. All 4 men brawl inside while the referee desperately attempts to restore order. The Blonds quell the uprising with a pair of thumb to the eyes, then look to whip Max and Steven into each other, but the Docs reverse and the Blonds collide! COACH Who are the legal men? COLE Simon and Max I think. The Love Doctors knock Ned out to the floor with a double dropkick and drop a MORPHINE BOMB on Simon! Dr. Steven covers! COACH He‘s not the legal man, Cole! And Molly knows that as well, as she hops on the apron to protest, while continuing to film of course. COLE Not this crap again! We saw Mackenzie DeCenzo pull that stunt at Zero Hour. COACH Yeah, and it worked. Just like it’s going to work now. Besides, she’s arguing a valid point. How in the hell could the referee not know who the legal man is? COLE You didn’t know. COACH Because I’m too busy carrying your ass to a hearable broadcast. Molly soon finds herself up close and personal with Dr. Steven Pigley. Nick Patrick does his part to keep the peace, but Ned Blanchard escalates the violence, tossing Steven outside. But he, too, goes tumbling over the top courtesy of a clothesline from Dr. Max, who is immediately rolled up by Simon! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Steven reverses! ONE… TWO… Simon kicks Dr. Anderson forward into the direction of Molly, who shoots from her POV as she CLOCKS MAX WITH THE SICLOPSE CAMERA! COACH That shot alone just won her a cinematography award at next year’s Oscars. School boy! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * By the time Steven breaks up the count it’s too late, as Simon rolls off and celebrates with Ned and Molly outside. BUFFER Here are your winners… THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDESSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE I can’t believe it. The Love Doctors got jobbed. COACH Maybe they’ll finally get the hint and keep asking for matches against The Enterprise. COLE I highly doubt that. The Love Doctors want to face the best competition in the world and everybody knows that’s in the OAOAST. Right now they’re earning their Ph.D. in the school of hard knocks. And we’ll be back. Edited October 4, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
