King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted October 18, 2007 BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute TV time-limit. In the ring, from Venice Beach, California! He weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds... he is BBIIIIIIFFFFFF AAAAAATTLLLLAAAAAASSSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Biff poses briefly, before saying something over his shoulder to Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen at this time, Biff Atlas would like to make the following public service announcement. COLE Oh great... BIFF Thank you Bruce. [i]Michael[/i] Buffer does a double take on his way out of the ring, shaking his head sadly as he sits down. BIFF At this time, I would like to take a moment to extend my congratulations to a close personal friend of mine. In the past week, vice-president turned cartoon voice-over actor turned environmental activist Al Gore was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for his tireless contributions to the fight against climate change. It's heart-warming to see somebody finally recognise the efforts of a man who is making our world a better place. It's just a shame that not all such people are given that respect. With tha... .:CUE: Trust Company, "Rock The Casbah":. The crowd cease amusing themselves and suddenly come alive as the music powers through the PA system and LEON RODEZ steps through the entrance doors! Leon gives the camera a cheesy thumbs up as he walks to the ring, rubbing his eyes as he tries to recover from apparantly having just woken up. COACH See, this is exactly what Biff was trying to talk about. He's trying to get over an important message and he gets interrupted. No respect. COLE This is a wrestling show Coach, it's not a climate change convention. COACH It's not!? Well gee, that's news to me! Thank you so much for filling me in oh wise one! *groans* Rolling into the ring, the OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champion holds up a hand to try and placate Biff. Leon then calls for a microphone and asks for his music to be cut, Biff looking on a little confused at what's happening. LEON Now now now, I know you and I have ourselves a little wrasslin' match coming up... yes Biff, I hate to break it to you but this isn't a climate change convention, it's actually a professional wrestling show. COLE See! I told you! LEON But with that said, you're obviously just dying to launch into a little speech on the burning issue of the day there... see what I did there? That was mostly deliberate. Delicious punnage. Biff, you've obviously come prepared to speak your mind. You called Michael Buffer by his brother's name but that okay, that's not your speciality. That's not your line of knowledge. I'm sure Michael barely even realises he's here so long as the cheques cash. No, you're ready to talk about climate change and you need a forum to do that so whaddaya say we have ourselves a little impromptu LOVE SHACK! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" LEON Yeah! Alright! Let's cheer whatever Leon says! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" With Biff looking ever more confused, Leon asks for and is passed two chairs. COLE Wai... what the hell is going on here? We're gonna have a Love Shack, right now!? COACH I thought you said this was a wrestling show? Setting up the two chairs in the ring, Leon sits himself down in the first one and crosses his legs. Trying to look his most serious and journalistic, Leon invites Biff to sit down in the chair opposite him. And despite some misgivings, Biff eventually does so. LEON Okay, we haven't got a set and I'm pretty sure I used to have a funny pre-amble but I haven't done one of these in about a year so, uh, let's skip all that and get right down to business shall we? Climate change. A real political hot potato. Biff... catch. BIFF ... LEON Talk. BIFF Well, as I was going to say before you interrupted me, climate change is an issue the world cannot neglect again. The message must be re-iterated time and time again, never to be forgotten or considered a fad. No matter how many awards or acknowledgements visonaries like ourselves recieve, we should not be taken for granted, just as this planet should not be taken for granted. Scientists estimate that within the next 30-40 years, the world's global average tempera... Leon yawns, loud enough to be picked up by the microphone in his hand which is a little embarrassing. LEON Uh... Biff. Can I BUTT in there? Yeah, uh... that 30-40 years you were talking about? I was kinda hoping to get over to a bar with Maggie somewhere in and around that time period. So how about this, could you maybe for brevity's sake kinda sum up the issue of climate change in 10 words? BIFF You want me to condense the greatest threat to the fate of our humanity in centuries into a 10 word sentence? LEON If you could, yeah. A disbelieving Biff wipes a hand across his face. BIFF This is the exact kind of disrespect I'm talking about. Nobody is taking this issue seriously and I'm sick of it. It's evident, I need something to MAKE you people respect me. And since there are no Nobel Peace Prizes in the OAOAST, I am making it my goal as of this moment to go after the next best thing. Soon, all the OAOAST will respect me. They'll have no choice, once I, Biff Atlas, obtain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! LEON :mellow: :huh: :lol: As Leon struggles and fails to keep a straight face and starts to burst into laughter, he's joined by thousands of Georgians in the crowd. Which of course leaves Biff fuming. Kicking his chair aside, Biff suddenly swings down an arm and cracks the doubled over Leon across the back with a forearm! Leon goes sprawing to the canvas as quickly, referee Mike Chioda gets the chairs from the ring and calls for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE A cheapshot from Atlas and this one is finally underway! COACH How can you call that a cheapshot? Breaking down laughing at Biff's lifelong aspirations and dreams, that's a cheapshot! Biff continues to pound away on Leon who it's safe to say hasn't got much to laugh about anymore. Reaching down, Biff pulls off the black and purple robe of his opponent, throwing it to the ground in frustration. He then pulls Leon to his feet, barging him back into a corner and unloading with a succession of hard right hands. Referee Chioda tries to pull Biff away as he completely blanks his attempts to count him, eventually getting The Environmental Activist to stop his vicious attack. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Out of the corner, Biff whips Leon off in the direction of the opposite set of turnbuckles. The Silky Smooth One hits hard spine first, staggering out of that corner and into the waiting Gorilla Press of Biff Atlas... ...which he escapes from in mid-air. Creating some space with a quick shove, Rodez pops up and dropkicks Atlas in the back, sending him sprawling forwards. Biff falls throat-first across the middle rope and unfortunately for him, there he stays. The crowd erupt as Rodez sees his chance and starts to do THE JIG~! Rodez then hits the opposite ropes and sprints back at top speed directly at Biff, driving all of his body weight into the lower back!! COLE CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES!! Turning away, Leon hits the ropes again and this time comes at Biff from the side. But Biff spots Leon on his way around, managing to throw out his arm and LEVEL Leon with a giant Clothesline to cut him off! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Big shot from the supposed King Of The Clothesline. There's a moniker for ya. Sitting up, a shocked looking Leon gasps for air just as Biff drives the flat of his boot into his spine. And again, further knocking the wind out of his lungs. Biff stops for a second and draws a large, imaginary globe with his hands, to the jeers of the crowd. COACH Are these morons booing THE EARTH? Do they not realise we live... on THE EARTH? COLE They're booing Biff Atlas, Coach. COACH Because he loves The Earth? Explain. Please. No time for explanations, as Biff pins down Leon with a tight lateral press... 1... 2... No! ...again... 1... 2... No! Biff slaps on a chinlock, making Leon expend more energy. Which is pretty ironic when you think about it. And irony is best when explained. As Biff clamps down on the hold, a picture-in-picture suddenly pops in the top right corner of the screen, showing D*LUX, Jade Rodez and a certain Maggie Nerdly watching on backstage. COLE Leon with plenty of fans, both out here and backstage. He's fighting for them right about now as Biff Atlas works away with this hold. And as you see Maggie Nerdly there, it's as good a time as any to point it out, October 31st at The Halloween Spectacular, we've just found out Leon will be hosting a special edition of The Love Shack with none other than [i]Melody[/i] Nerdly, in her first TV appearance since November Reign. COACH Let's not get ahead of ourselves Michael. He might not have much Love to Shack if Biff has his way here. Fighting to his feet, Leon starts to draw on the support of the Columbus crowd, fist pumping as the fans grow louder. Locking his hands, Leon jams the point of his elbow into the gut. And again. A third time, weaking up Biff's grip enough to turn into the hold. Having freed himself Leon then turns to hit the ropes... but a handful of his hair can't follow him, due to it being grabbed by Biff Atlas! Down on the back of his head crashes Rodez, earning Atlas a warning from the referee. COLE Biff Atlas, very resourseful. COACH LOLPUN11!!1 As Leon pulls himself back up, Biff stalks him just waiting to pounce. He grabs him in a tight waistlock and throws, bringing his 220 pounds down onto Leon's 220 pounds with a Side Belly To Belly Suplex! Leg hooked... 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Leon to his feet, Mother Nature's Favourite Son applies another waistlock, this time trying to just squeeze the life out of The Silky Smooth One with a simple buf effective Bearhug. Leon wants very little of that though and manages to free an arm, driving the point of his Bionic Elbow down across the top of Biff's head! Twice! Three times! Biff loses the Bearhug and Leon just keeps on elbowin', bionic elbowing Biff into a stuppor before flippin', floppin', flyin'... and knocking down Biff with a final big elbow to the bonce! DUSTY RHODES Now baybeh, das en'ertainment right there, ain't no doubt about it! COLE ????? Running on a healthy dose of adrenaline, Leon encourages Biff back to his feet and meets him coming with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Atlas upside the head with the enziguri! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Cover by Leon... 1... 2... NO! Not all! Quickly Leon scampers over to the corner and heads for the top turnbuckle. Biff is looking more than a little dazed and takes his time getting up, as Rodez scales the ropes and gets himself set up top. And then, with photo-opping form he soars from high above with a big Crossbody Blo... ...NO! Biff sidesteps, forcing Leon to adjust in mid-air. With cat like senses he just about manages to land safely on a hand and two feet, adjusting and diving at Biff again. But this time, his standing crossbody attempt ends with him getting caught! COACH Power! Throwing Rodez up and over his shoulder, Biff turns into the centre of the ring and drills him with a big Powerslam! The crowd groan as it looks like their man is in trouble, the Man Of The Earth reaching out and hooking a leg... 1... 2... No! COLE Kickout by Leon but you can sense Biff is beginning to build up some momentum here. Backing into a corner, Biff glares across at Leon... and drops into a crouch. COACH You can say that again. Biff starts waving Rodez to his feet, The Silky Smooth One unwittingly doing just as he's told. Biff is ready. Eyes locked on his target. Stalking his prey. Favouring his ribs a little, up to his feet climbs Leon with a grimace. He looks around and doesn't see Biff, who still stalks behind him, until Leon begins to turn around at which point he charges from the corner, head down... ...AL GOOOOOOOOORRRRRR... ...NO!! Rodez hears his opponent thundering towards him and takes off, leapfrogging Biff who ends up crashing face and shoulder first into the middle turnbuckle behind the now departed Leon!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" COLE Nobody home for the Nobel Peace Prize Winner Honouring "Al Goooorree"! And Biff is in trouble here. Stumbling to his feet, Biff walks right back past Leon who has stepped out in front of him. Hooking the head, Leon scales the turnbuckles on the inside and pushing up off the top turnbuckle, floating back and dropping Biff with the FEEDBACK THIS~! he slices some bread! Reaching up he hooks the legs and cradles Biff up in a tight ball for the... 1... 2... and 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLLEEEEEOOOOOONN... RRRROOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! Leon rolls right on out of the ring and into the waiting arms of his fans as in the ring, Biff looks up and holds his head in his hands. A few high-fives and a few hugs get passed around, one lucky youngster getting a kiss on the cheek (not that young... and a girl... don't go getting the wrong impression here) as Rodez celebrates chalking one up in the 'W' column. COLE Victory here for the 6-Man Tag Team Champion, one-third at least, Leon Rodez tonight on HeldDOWN~! As Biff continues to look on in dejection, Leon takes back his belt and raises it to his fans with a big grin on his face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
