HD: "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican promo

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

Place this segment sometime after Popick's promo, please. It makes more sense that way. kthxbye

 

COLE
Well, earlier tonight, we found out that at the Halloween Spectacular on Halloween night, Stephen Joseph Popick will take on Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. This, despite the fact that Maddix already has a World Title Match set for November Reign on November 25th against Zack Malibu, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez in a Fatal Four-Way Match. Now, we heard from Popick earlier, and he sounds confident that the Title Match on the 31st will go his way. But what about his client and friend, Tha Puerto Rican? How does he feel about Popick getting a Title shot before he does? Well, luckily, we are about to find out, as live via satelite from the OAOAST Studios in Pittsburgh, Pennslyvania is Tha Puerto Rican! We're going to go to him now.

Cut to "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican standing in front of a black screen. The crowd boos loudly. A lamp stands next to PR on his left, and a ladder stands next to him on his right. PRL is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a white dress shirt, a red tie, a black sports jacket, black dress pants, black dress shoes, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and his engagement ring on his right ring finger. He has the McMahon SNEER~! etched on his face. A caption appears on screen reading in big white blocky letters LIVE OAOAST STUDIOS PITTSBURGH, PENNSLYVANIA.

COLE
P.R., thanks for joining us tonight. 

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN
Believe me, the pleasure is all yours. 

COLE
Now, P.R., earlier tonight, it was announced that Landon Maddix will defend the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship against your manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick, on October 31st at the Halloween Spectacular. Now, how do you feel about your friend and colleague getting a World Title shot one month before you do? 

THA PUERTO RICAN
As soon as Popick finishes laying the smackdown on Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix's candy ass, he'll throw him to me, Tha Puerto Rican, so that I can finish him off at November Reign! And that's what this is all about! THAT is what we should be focusing on. November Reign. November 25th. Six weeks away! The countdown is on! The seconds tick away more and more! And what an appropriate name for the pay-per-view. November [i]Reign[/i]. Because on November 25th, the REIGN OF THA PUERTO RICAN WILL BEGIN! 

The crowd boos loudly. 

COLE
P.R., you have quite the challenge ahead of you. Last month, you competed in a Ladder Match against two of the biggest OAOAST Superstars in the world today and came within inches of garnering the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt for the first time in your career. Now, next month, you've got to contend with those same two men, in addition to a returning "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez! It's one fall to a finish. The first man to get the pinfall or submission is the World Heavyweight Champion! Does the pressure affect you at all? With this being your third consectutive pay-per-view Title shot? 

THA PUERTO RICAN
AngleSault could throw me three men, four men, five men, six men, seven men, ten men, twenty men, two thousand men! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY PEOPLE I'VE GOT TO FIGHT! What matters, Michael Cole, is that the match ends one way. AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS ONE WAY! And that is with Tha Puerto Rican raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high up in the air in Las Vegas, Nevada! 

The crowd boos again. Possibly for the reference to Las Vegas, Nevada. 

COACH
P.R., Da Coach here! 

PRL
Sup, Coach? 

COACH
P.R., I'm sure you're going to walk out of November Reign OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. I mean, you'd have to, right? But what about Popick? What about your friend Popick going head-to-head against Landon Maddix four weeks before you do? Doesn't that bother you at all? 

PRL
Coach, I know what you're trying to do, and no, it's not going to work! Popick and I have our agreement. He's going to soften Landon Maddix up for me for November Reign. That's all. Popick's doing this match for ME! Not for him. For ME! 

COLE
Sure didn't sound like he was doing it for you earlier. 

PRL
Michael Cole, know your role and SHUT your damn mouth! There is nothing wrong between us! Popick knows his role come the 31st, and that is for Landon Maddix, that donkey raping shiteater, to receive a CORPORATE ass-kicking courtesy of the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST, a title he wears with HONOR, by the way! That's all there is to it! 

COLE
Well...okay...then. 

PRL
Right. 

COLE
Well, P.R., do you have any final thoughts before we end this interview? 

PR
Yes, I certainly do! Landon Maddix, get ready, because your candy ass is next! After my man, Popick gets done laying the smackdown on you, it'll be my turn! And Landon, I am GREATLY looking forward to it! Since June you have been a thorn in my side, and finally, FINALLY at November Reign, I shall take that thorn out...shine it up real nice...turn that sumbitch sideways, and STICK IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY ASS! And if those two other jabronies want some, they can come get some too! Zack Malibu, I am NOT done with you, yet! And I am looking forward to us meeting in the ring yet again! And as for "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez? Well, I don't know much about you, but I DO know that I don't give a DAMN about you either! So, you're on my hitlist just as much as Landon and Zack are! You stand between me and the World Heavyweight Title I so richly deserved, and for that, I will come at you like a charging bull come November 25th! And there's nothing ANY of you can do about it! And that's the truth, Ruth! And afterwards, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and I will truly be the GOLDEN COUPLE of the OAOAST! TO HELL with our big extravangant wedding we have planned! Me and Lindsay might as well just get married right there on the Las Vegas strip after the pay-per-view! I'm sure she'll like that! 

COLE
Uh...

PRL
Shut up, Michael Cole! Just remember, that November Reign will become Tha Puerto Rican's pay-per-view, because at November Reign, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will FINALLY ascend to the top of the One And Only AngleSault Thread and become its new CORPORATE World Heavyweight CHAMPION! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! Girlpants!   

PRL does the Corporate Eyebrow, and then sneers into the camera. The crowd boos loudly, although there are some noticeable cheers for Tha Puerto Rican here and there. A small "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up, regardless. 

COLE
P.R., thank you for the interview. 

PRL (Calm and friendly)
Sure, anytime.

(Cut to Sofa Central with Double C.)

COLE
Well, not surprisingly, PRL wasn't at a lost for words in regards to AngleSault's announcement earlier. Still, he didn't seem to be too bothered about the main event of Halloween Spectacular, instead focusing his attention on his upcoming World Title Match at November Reign. 

COACH
And why shouldn't he be? THAT'S the match HE'S in after all! 

COLE
Still, his manager and "Career Consultant" is fighting for the World Title! 

COACH
And whatever happens, happens. Look, PRL's got six weeks to prepare for November Reign. This will be his third straight Title shot. He's lost twice, he's NOT going to lose again! 

COLE
We've said that so many times though. Will it ever really happened? 

COACH
It will! At November Reign, it will! I can feel it! 

COLE
Well, PRL's got a big task ahead of him on November 25th, but on October 31st, his manager's got a big task ahead of *HIM*! The next two months or so will be quite a busy time for both Tha Puerto Rican AND Stephen Joseph Popick! More HeldDOWN~! right after this! 

[b]* COMMERCIAL BREAK *[/b]

Edited October 19, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield