King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted October 25, 2007 As we return to HeldDOWN~!, "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits. Those fans who don't watch our weekly weekend show OAOAST Syndicated and therefore don't get to see many of our 'up and coming' workers in action are confused, until through the entrance doors walks British Columbia's favourite son James Blonde. Looking every inch the superstar in his long, faux fur coat, Blonde swaggers to the ring as a few steps behind him, the monstrous Faqu trails behind. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag-team contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring are team number one... total combined weight, five hundred and nine pounds. They are the team of "THE MOVER FROM VANCOUVER" JJAAAAAAAMMEEEEEESSSS BBLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNDDEEEEE... and, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Faqu and Blonde are returning tonight from suspension, after their 'pitch invasion' during the Penalty Shootout between Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara. Their cohort Black is still under suspension as O'Hara sits at home on the DL list. As you'll remember, he took that soccer ball clean in the face and has been suffering from blurred vision ever since. And we certainly wish Jamie a speedy recovery and look forward to having him back on HeldDOWN~! As Blonde slides into the ring and shows off his fine taste in faux fur, the menacing frame of Faqu climbs the steps and has Buffer and referee Mike Chioda backing into a further away corner. COACH Well, Faqu and Blonde are unbeaten in tag team competition since HI-YAH got bought out. But until now they've not even been in consideration for a One and Only Tag Team Title shot, so maybe they've got reason to be frustrated with the OAOAST. COLE Personally, I think Black's got in their ear. But that's another story for another time. Blonde stands behind Faqu, who stares down the empty aisleway breathing deeply and noisily, talking in his partner's ear and generally psyching him up. As this happens, the opening to "Rock You Like A Hurricane" by The Scorpions begins to hum around the arena. COLE Speaking of returns... As the sock kicks into gear, the entrance doors part and for the first time in a couple of months they summon out The Christ Air Express! The twin brothers jog onto the stage and hit a leaping double-high five, before marching on to the ring with hand-slaps for all! With a new look, The Express wear new long wrestling tights, decked out in orange and blue and also sport new shorter haircuts. BUFFER And their opponents... now residing in Laguna Beach, California! They weigh in a total combined weight of three hundred, seventy five pounds... here are MARV and MEL, THE CHRIST AIR... EEEEEXXXXPPRRRREEEEESSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Earlier in the week, we got a few words from the new and improved Christ Air Express, about their new direction in their career. Let's take a look... [COLOR=orange][i]OAOAST[/i][/COLOR] A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. In front of the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! backdrop stand the brothers Nerdly. MEL AngleSlam 2007 will go down as the worst night in our career. But out of adversity comes triumph. We've been sitting at home for months now, watching The Heavenly Rockers, Holly-Wood and our own brother Abdullah terrorising the OAOAST tag-team division. We looked at ourselves and damnit, we wanted to help. We wanted to come back and tear ass through those SOBs. But let's face it, what were The Sk8ter Boiz gonna do? MARV We've spent the last couple of years in the OAOAST living a joke. Everywhere we go, we have to carry around that stigma of being jokes. Nobody expected us to come back for revenge. Nobody cared. Well, we came to realise in our time away the team we can be. Life is short, too short to be laughing stocks through all of it. We've been OAOAST Tag Team Champions before but let's face it, that doesn't count. I mean, come on, we celebrated our title win with a cake from our old school-teacher for crying out loud! During our time away, we got a phonecall from somebody who made us realise what we can achieve if we put our minds to it. If we straighten up, ditch the crap and ge serious, we can make a real difference in the OAOAST. We can be Champions again. We can get our retribution. MEL First though, we had to ditch the stigmas. The stigma of The Sk8ter Boiz. The stigma of Hell Mel and The Marv. The stigma of being 'The Nerdly Brothers'. From this moment on, we're Nerdlys in name only. From now on, we're just MARV and MEL. We're not The Sk8ter Boiz. From now on, we're are The Christ Air Express. And from now on, you're gonna see a whole new MARV and MEL! MARV makes the "RAWK" hand signal. [COLOR=orange][i]HELDDOWN~![/COLOR][/i] Back to live action and MARV and MEL have long since hit the ring. Infact, we're about ready to go as MARV elects to start for his team. On the opposite side, Blonde has to virtually coax his volatile partner into starting the match on the apron. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Well, with all that said, we're ready to go. Both of these teams will be involved in the Costume Battle Royal at the Halloween Spectacular next Wednesday night, with a chance to become One And Only World Tag Team Champions! And a big chance to get some momentum going for them tonight. Blonde swaggers over to MARV and shows no respect what-so-ever for the new and improved 'Sk8ter Boi' as he shoves him in the chest! Knocked a couple of steps backwards MARV shows his days of being treated a joke are long over as he shoves Blonde right back! Blonde doesn't look convinced though, smirking as he throws a clothesline at MARV. But MARV ducks the line, catching Blonde as he turns around and unloading with a series of short elbows. With Blonde backed up, MARV tries a whip... reversed, MARV sent for the ride. But as he rebounds MARV goes low, baseball sliding through the legs of the set Blonde. Quickly to his feet, MARV jumps up onto the confused Blonde's shoulders and pushes forward, taking him over with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... No! Blonde tries again with the clothesline and again comes up with nought. MARV ducks underneath the clothesline and comes off the ropes, throwing a dropkick to knock Blonde down. Back up scrambles Blonde, the fact he's clearly getting frustrated causing him to march right into an armdrag which MARV hangs onto with an armbar. COLE And no ring-rust from MARV thus far! COACH What the hell is this with the names? MARV and MEL? Are the capitals supposed to be intimidating? Are they Japanese wrestlers all of a sudden? COLE You'd have to ask whoever's behind their makeover. Bringing Blonde to his feet by the arm, MARV tags out to MEL. The (ever so slightly) older twin comes off the top with an axehandle to the arm and takes over with a quick wringer. Blonde goes straight to the gut with a knee though, breaking that up. Backing MEL up, Blonde shoots his opponent off the ropes and lowers his head ready for a backdrop. He telegraphs the move, as so many do, which allows MEL the time to adjust and leapfrog over him on the run. MEL continues into the ropes as Blonde looks up wondering why he 'backdropped' nothing but thin air, finding MEL soaring towards him with a Crossbody! 1... 2... No! Again Blonde rushes in. And again, he gets armdragged over and placed in the armBAR~! COLE Again, fine wrestling from The Express. This is what they're capable of, this is what the reinvention is about, to try and accentuate the positives without the past hanging over them. COACH So, some new tights and some capital letters, suddenly they're a level above Faqu and James Blonde? COLE If anybody in the OAOAST knows about re-inventing themselves in an effort to get some respect, it's James Blonde and Faqu. With the arm still barred, Blonde climbs to his feet and uses MEL's skater hairdo for some leverage. The referee quickly makes sure he stops that and MEL instantly wrings out the arm again. And again. And again, the third wringer causing Blonde to flip over onto his back! Blonde kicks his feet in frustration as MEL hangs onto the wrist and reaches out a foot for the tag. COLE Ah, the old foot-tag. There's the sign of a great tag-team! MEL flattens out the arm on the canvas, using the five count to his advantage while MARV comes off the top with a big kneedrop! Rolling away holding his arm, Blonde finds himself stuck in a neutral corner and is left with no other option than to beg off. He even goes so far as to offer his hand in friendship. Ever the nice-guy, MARV is happy to accept... in order to pull Blonde up by the hand and wring out the arm again! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Another tag is made by The CAE, the arm held out for a Top Rope Double Stomp from MEL! COLE I'm telling you, MARV and MEL are on point here tonight! COACH I'm sure The Heavenly Rockers are quaking in their boots. COLE They ought to be. MEL and MARV have not forgotten what happened to them, I guarantee you. Let's not forget, Melody Nerdly will return to The Love Shack at Halloween Spectacular too. The Heavenly Rockers are making a lot of enemies and sooner or later, it's going to come back to bite them! Re-asserting the pressure on the arm, MEL snapmares Blonde to the canvas and bars up the arm. He again reaches his far foot back in order to offer the tag. But this time, the twins aren't on the same page. MARV isn't looking at his partner, as his attention has been taken by the sudden arrival of THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, speak of the devils. What the hell are they doing out here!? COACH I dunno, scouting? Grinning away, Synth and Logan stroll to the ring, Holly-Wood wrapped around her husband like a python. MARV isn't the only one who notices The Heavenly Rockers' presence, as referee Chioda ducks out of the ring to wave them to the back. Synth and Logan takes great delight in telling the ref they're just watching the match though. And they take even more delight as the distraction allows Blonde, having got to his knees, to hit MEL with a LOWBLOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Damnit. It didn't take long for The Heavenly Rockers to play their part in this one, huh? Still nursing his arm, Blonde walks to his corner and makes sure Chioda is watching as he makes the tag to Faqu. COACH Oh here we go! COLE Here comes The Wrecking Ball. Faqu continues to snort away as he walks over to MEL. By the head he drags MEL off the canvas, backing the defenceless Canadian up into a neutral corner... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and hitting him with a chop so hard in hurts [i]MARV[/i]!! MEL drops to one knee in the corner, as on the outside the sound of laughter echoes from Synth and Logan's direction. The 300+ pound Faqu just stands over MEL for a couple of seconds, before suddenly pouncing as he grips his taped fingers into the neck of MEL. He drags him upright again... *SLAP!* "OOOOOOOOHHH!" ...and destroys his well-defined chest with another thunderous chop!! COACH Man oh man! You can hear that in the cheapseats! COLE And look at Logan and Synth, standing there laughing at this! Bringing MEL out of the corner, Faqu scoops up and then slams MEL down, all with complete ease. Taking a couple of steps backwards The Samoan Wrecking Ball then measures his prey, before leaping up and dropping a big headbutt into the shoulder blade of MEL! Blonde quickly 'encourages' his partner to make the cover and Faqu does just that... 1... 2... No! From the floor, The Heavenly Rockers cheer Faqu on. Hearing this in the distance, Faqu looks over in their direction and just shoots a glare at The Rockers who suddenly become very defensive. It's only when a chant of "SLUT!" starts up through the arena that they stop trying make friends with the Samoan. LOGAN :devil: Blonde gets tagged back in and heads straight up to his middle rope. Clenching up the fist, Blonde stands tall on the second rope and shows off the dual Canadian/Japanese sweatbands on his wrist as he comes off the middle rope with the Marty Jannetty Fistdro... ...NO! MEL rolls out of the way and Blonde hits nothing but canvas! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd in Orlando cheer... but not just for Blonde's misfortune. The Heavenly Rockers are suddenly heading off to a new position over by the announce table, because LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO have made their way out from the back and in their direction. COLE Oh yeah! COACH Now hang on a second, this isn't a lumberjill match! What are these fruits doing out here? COLE They're keeping an eye on Logan and Synth methinks! The greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time don't look too happy as Los Diablos pitch up in The Christ Air Express corner, the pitchfork pointing in Holly's direction. MARV looks a little distracted at the uninvited guests for a second, before getting behind MEL's attempt to make a tag. COLE We've got a lot of combustable elements around the ring right now, Los Diablos, The Heavenly Rockers... and now, MEL looking for a tag in the ring. We've gotta take a quick break, this match will continue, don't go anywhere! [b]COMMERCIAL BREAK![/b] We return to HeldDOWN~!... and, surprisingly, to a close-up of THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREW! Yes, Rico and Lucius have decided to join in the party and stand watching on from the stage, discussing something behind hands which block out the intrusive camera. Back in the ring meanwhile, MARV has since entered the ring as the legal man and is on the move with James Blonde. Sent into the corner, MARV goes up and over the charge from Blonde, who ends up crashing into the turnbuckles. As Blonde then staggers from the corner, up pops MARV with a Hurricanrana... 1... 2... No! COLE Two count there, welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and as you can see, we've got even more onlookers now. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew getting a bird's eye view of the action. All of these men out here will be in the Tag Team Title battle royal at The Halloween Spectacular, but we might not have to wait that long for it to break down between these teams! MARV leaves the ring and heads up to the top rope, waiting for Blonde to come his way. Below him, The Heavenly Rockers look on and start to shout abuse the moment MARV looks their way... all this allowing Blonde to rush forward and CROTCH MARV on the top turnbuckle! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And again The Rockers with a distraction! MEL and MARV are trying to wrestle this match, they're trying to stay focused on business. But that's easier said than done with these two assholes out here. COACH They're doing nothing wrong Michael, they're just trying to watch the match. I suggest you watch that mouth of yours incase they hear you. COLE I'd be surprised if they can hear me over the abuse these fans in Orlando are giving them. And rightly so! Climbing up with MARV, Blonde looks to set him up for a Superplex. However The Mover From Vancouver takes too much time setting him up and suddenly MARV starts to fight back. Jabs up under the ribs soften Blonde up, before a forearm pops him in the mouth. MARV hits another forearm, then shoves Blonde in the chest, sending him flying off the ropes... ...landing on his feet... ...AND CLOTHESLINING MARV OUT OF THE AIR AS HE FLIES TOWARDS HIM!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!" Cover by Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout! Adjusting his tassle covered elbowpad, Blonde props himself up on the middle rope and gives the signal for a Tornado DDT. Whether MARV sees it or not as he drags himself up isn't clear. But when Blonde goes to catch him with a right hand when he turns around, he blocks it all the same, responding with a punch of his own! MARV then scales the turnbuckles in front of Blonde... and pulls him down with a SUPER HURRICANRANA!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That oughta do it... but here comes Faqu! The big Samoan doesn't make much of an impact though, as MEL rushes in and cuts him off with a forearm. He manages to stagger the bigman, enough to buy himself and his twin brother some time as they connect with a perfectly timed double dropkick. Faqu doesn't go off his feet though... so they hit another one. Again Faqu doesn't go much more than a step or two back though. For a moment, the twins look to each other and wonder what to do. Which is when Faqu charges them with a double clothesline, forcing them to snap to their senses quickly. They duck the clotheslines and then, when Faqu turns around... THEY STOMP HIS BARE FEET!! COACH NO FAIR! COLE That's what you get for wrestling barefoot! Faqu hobbles around shouting in pain, allowing MARV and MEL to throw a Double Dropsault... or, better yet, a Double [i]Kickflip[/i]! The already off-balance Faqu goes into reverse and falls through the ropes to the floor, to a pop from the Orlando crowd! COLE Down goes Faqu! With his partner disposed of, James Blonde tries to pick up the slack... but gets taken down with a double drop toehold by The CAE. Blonde bounces off the mat and comes right back to his feet. But he walks into MARV, who hooks his head over the shoulder and hits a JAWJACKER! And as Blonde staggers away from that move, MEL hooks him by the head and runs the ropes with a SWINGING BULLDOG!! MARV *RAWK~!* Giving his partner the signal, MARV gets elevated up onto the shoulders of MEL. Carrying his brother, MEL then points down at The Heavenly Rockers before throwing MARV up and sends him crashing down across Blonde's chest with a Back Senton!! Leg hooked... 1... The Rockers go to jump in... ...BUT LOS DIABLOS PULL THEM AWAY! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!" 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Your winners of the match... MARV, MEL, THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS!! COLE And the fight is on on the floor!! Los Diablos and The Heavenly Rockers continue to slug it out on the outside as The Christ Air Express begin to celebrate their win... right as The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew jump them from behind!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Orlando crowd are incensed as Lucius and Rico put the boots to MARV and MEL, ruining what should have been a great moment for the returning duo. But help is at hand. And who better to come to someone's aid than RESCUE 911!?! Officer Bosley and EMT Tim suddenly hit the ring, thankfully preventing The CAE from needing either one of their fellow professionals as they attack Rico and Lucius!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE All hell has broken loose out here! Los Diablos and The Heavenly Rockers, 911 and The Home Wrecking Crew! It's the battle royal come early, all we're missing is the costumes!! 911 quickly send Lucius and Rico packing, Lucius clotheslined up and over the top by Bosley and Rico dropkicked to the floor by Tim. Meanwhile, there's no end in sight to Los Diablos and The Heavenly Rockers as they're now in the crowd. Climbing to their feet, MARV and MEL take one look at Bosley and Tim... before the two teams go their seperate ways, 911 chasing Mardi Gras down the aisle while MARV and MEL try to catch up with the retreating Heavenly Rockers!! COACH We're going to need the entire Orlando police department to seperate this! COLE It's chaos on HeldDOWN~! We'll be back! We need a commercial to get this sorted! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
