HD: Colombian Heat/Spanish Fly segment

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

This is to follow the One And Only World Tag Team Championship Match Tony. It's actually kinda important.

 

The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are recuperating from their loss to the Heavenly Rockers only moments ago. Colombian Heat is sitting on one of the giant cases lying around holding his neck, the OAOAST United States Championship belt lying next to him. Meanwhile, Spanish Fly is stomping the ground and slamming his fists on top of another case, pissed off beyond belief. 

SPANISH FLY
DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! WE HAD IT! WE HAD THE MATCH WON! WE HAD THE MATCH WON! I KNOW WE DID! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! 

COLOMBIAN HEAT
Yo, dawg, chill. It's cool, G. We'll get 'em next time, a'ight? 

FLY
No! It's not all right! We were ROBBED out of the World Tag Team Titles, damnit! Me and you should be holding those belts right now! Not the stupid Heavenly Rockers! AGH! I can't believe it! 

HEAT
Relax, bro. It's not tha end of tha world! There's always other matches. And besides, we's got a match comin' up at November Reign. You could become US Champion that night! 

FLY
But I don't care about that right now! You don't get it, Heat! Ever since I lost my mask, I've had nothing but bad luck! My face gets revealed to the entire world for one! I lose my chance to become United States Champion at Zero Hour thanks to James Riggs! And now tonight, I get SCREWED out of becoming Tag Team Champions with my best friend in the whole wide world! FRUSTRATED AIN'T EVEN THE GODDAMN WORD FOR HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW! 

HEAT
Youse need to take a chill pill, homie. Youse is overreacting. 

FLY
And you're UNDERreacting! Don't you realize what happened out there? You could have been a double champion! I could have had a belt again! That's your problem, Heat! You're too laid back! You don't get angry! You always go with the flow! You never show any rage! Any anger! You never get angry! Unless someone steals your hooker of a girlfriend apparently!

At this, Colombian Heat's facial expression changes from relaxed to annoyed. 

HEAT
Yo, Fly, you mah dude, but dat crossed tha line. 

FLY
Well, is it true? Don't you have any passion? Any aggression? Why you gotta be so lighthearted all the time? We're in the wrestling business! A business filled with lowlives, scum, assholes, and other shady figures! We gotta be on guard 24/7! We gotta watch our backs all the time! We gotta be careful who we trust! And yet here you are, calm, cool, and collected, like you don't have a care in the world! You don't seem to hold any grudge or any hatred for long! 

HEAT
An' dis is a bad thing because...?

FLY
Because if you act this way, sooner or later you're gonna get hurt! You're gonna pay the price! People will easily walk all over you and will make you look like a fool! All because you're too nice! 

HEAT
Look Fly, I ain't changin' for nobody. Not even you. Dis is who I am! Dis is me! Like it or hate it, dis is tha way I am! 

FLY
Well sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

HEAT
Que? Que? 

FLY
You heard me. I am so annoyed right now with how my life is going compared to yours! You've held two titles in the past 5 months, and you made history by becoming the first United States Champion ever! What have I got? Nothing. Except a lost mask! I'm sick of it! 

HEAT
You can change dat at November Reign you know. 

FLY
What makes you say that? What's to say that James Riggs or somebody else won't interfere? Huh? What makes you think differently? Heat, our match at November Reign can be easily ruined!

Suddenly, Spanish Fly gets an idea. 

FLY
Unless...unless...we...unless we hang the OAOAST United States Championship belt up in the air on a hook. Yeah, yeah. And then, the only way to win...is by climbing a ladder and retrieving it! Yeah. Yeah. No disqualifications. No count outs. No Holds Barred! Anything goes! THERE MUST BE A WINNER! 

HEAT
Fly, are you suggestin'--

FLY
Yes, Heat! I want us to have...a LADDER MATCH! 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

HEAT
Dang, dude! You serious? 

FLY
Oh hell yeah. I'll do it. I'll put my body on the line! I'll risk life and limb! I'll risk breaking my bones if only to become US Champion! I want to have this match Heat! What do you say? 

Colombian Heat quickly thinks this over. 

HEAT
Hmmm...a Ladder Match WOULD steal the show. 

FLY
Uh-huh. 

HEAT
An' I'm not afraid to defend this belt under any circumstances. 

FLY
Yeah. 

HEAT
SOOOO...okay. I'll do it. I'll have a Ladder Match wit you at November Reign! 

FLY
Great! Let's go tell AngleSault we want to do this! 

HEAT
A'ight. Cool. 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly start leaving, but Heat pulls Fly back. 

HEAT
And hey...may tha best man win! 

FLY
Absolutely. 

Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat shake hands. They both have uncomfortable expressions on their faces, but they march forward, presumbably to AngleSault's office. 

Cut to Sofa Central with Michael Cole and Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman.

COLE
How about that? Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly want to have a Ladder Match for the United States Title at November Reign! Wouldn't that be awesome? 

COACH
Yes. We will see the final destruction of Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly's friendship at November Reign! I can't wait!  

COLE
Hey now. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly appeared to be on the same page by wanting to do this match. 

COACH
But once that bell rings, all bets are off. 

COLE
True. Still, I don't think this will automatically destroy their friendship. 

COACH
It always does, Michael. It always does. 

COLE
Well, when we get word from AngleSault, we'll let you fans know and--wait a minute--yes--okay. Well, it looks like it's official. AngleSault gave his blessing. At November Reign on November 25th, Colombian Heat WILL take on Spanish Fly in a LADDER MATCH for the OAOAST United States Championship! What a match that one should be! They gave us one hell of a match last month at the Halloween Spectacular, and somehow, I think they'll be able to top themselves with this Ladder Match!