HD: MGHWC segment

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Let's take you back right now to our weekly Syndicated broadcast, OAOAST Pro Wrestling, from this past Saturday. Some candid remarks from The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew who have been on a bit of a slump in recent weeks, but picked up a 'W' in the win column against The All-American Boys. And after the match, they had this to say to Jesse "The Body"...


[i]* SWOOSH *[/i]

[b][color="#FF8C00"]Courtesy:[/color] [color="#800080"]OAOAST Syndicated[/color][/b]

Rico and Lucius climb onto the entrance stage, looking a little exerted after their victory. There to meet them is Jesse "The Body", gathering them into shot.

VENTURA
Guys, congratulations on the win tonight but before we go any further, I gotta ask... what's the situation been in the past few months? It's safe to say, it hasn't exactly been a party for Mardi Gras since you guys lost your shot at the World Tag Titles.

RICO
Jesse mang, you right, you know. It's been real rough for me an' for Lucius here recently. But tha's all about to change. We're on the way back up.

LUCIUS
This man speaketh the truth. Gettin' eliminated from that Thanksgiving Survivor Series match first? That was a reeeaal low point. But it was also the kick me an' my main man Rico needed.

VENTURA
That said, you guys especially must be pretty pleased with the break-up of Chicks Over Dicks.

Lucius and Rico both laugh.

LUCIUS
You ain't gon' see nobody in that OAOAST locker room shedding no tears for Krista and Ally. You wanna know why that is Jesse? It's cause we're all HAPPY 'bout it! We're all happy that them 'Chicks Over Dicks' ain't around no more. Cause fo' years and years now, dem bitches be ruining careers. When they stepped into that squared circle, they weren't there to just beat ya, brotha. They weren't there just to hurt ya. Naw naw, they was there to rip every shred o' dignity you got away from ya!

RICO
See mang, to them it was all just a game. They got off on embarrassin' people. You step into the ring with them girls, you's never the same afterwards. Look at Christian Wright. Look at The South Central Militia. Look at The Sooner Bruisers. Look at Ned and Simon. Look at US!

LUCIUS
Me an' my main man Rico here were hot property just a few months ago. We were HI-YAH Tag Team Champs! We were contenders for the OAOAST straps. We were somebodies 'round here. An' now look at us. We got into the ring wit' them two bitches an' we ain't been the same! They cut mah 'fro! They turned Rico into a joke! We can't get our faces on HeldDOWN~! no more cause whenever people be lookin' at us, all they be seein' is me submitting from a haricut an' Rico singing Jefferson Starship!

Rico glares down the camera lens.

RICO
Rico hates Jefferson Starship.

LUCIUS
That's right, he does! And he hates Chicks Over Dicks too! Das why we're reeeeaaal happy to see they ain't gon' be round no more to hand out their special brand of embarrassation to the likes of us. It's great to finally see the tables turned, lemme tell ya Jesse Ventura. Whenever I see Krista bawling out them tears from those baby blues it makes me real happy. Whenever we see Alix an' Mackie arm in arm an' tongue in tongue, it makes Rico real happy. Seein' them dames torn apart and EMBARRASSED week in an' week out on OAOAST TV, that makes me an' Rico [i]extremely[/i] happy baby! Cause now they now how WE feel!!

VENTURA
Well, they'll be one less team to deal with in the big Anderson Cup competition. You started off strong. Former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. You guys know that all starts in January, you've gotta be hoping for a big run from now 'till then to guarantee a good seeding.

RICO
Jesse mang, it don't matter who we get.

LUCIUS
Das right! Mardi Gras' comin' early next year, so get ready for the party of a lifetime!

RICO
*strokes porn 'stache*

That facial hair stroking is apparantly the cue for "Easy Lover" as it hits again, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew swaggering their way to the back.

[i]* SWOOSH *[/i]