PROMO: Rev-0

[Toxxic 0]

Location: Somewhere with an ‘SWF’ banner in shot behind

 

Time: Sometime before Toxxic’s bedtime

 

“Evening all,” the World, Tag and Stables Champion says as the picture comes online. “I won’t be taking up too much of your valuable time. I just have something I need to address, and my comments tonight are specifically directed at the Violence Distribution Network of Dace and Va’aiga, a tag team so imaginative they named their team after their own initials.”

 

“Va’aiga,” Toxxic begins, “first of all, let me say that Austin Sly would like me to pass on his apologies for his absence. No, wait,” the straight-edger corrects himself, “that’s inaccurate. Austin Sly would like me to pass on that he doesn’t have time for your shit.” He inspects his nails briefly. “See Va’aiga, in that impressively structured and emotional tirade you directed loosely at a camera, for some reason you completely forgot to mention my tag team partner. You remember Austin Sly?” the Englishman asks, raising an eyebrow. “You know, the guy who pinned one half of Wild & Dangerous to win us these titles? The guy who made the other half of Wild & Dangerous tap out to ensure we retained these tag titles? Hey, if you want to completely ignore half of the team you’ll be facing, you go right ahead, that’ll make our job that much easier.”

 

The Straight-Edge Sensation grins lopsidedly into the camera and adjusts the plethora of title belts that adorn his right shoulder.

 

“However, if you’re really determined to simply focus on me, well, let me give you two reasons why you’re not going to win. Number one,” he states, holding up a black-nailed finger, “as Tom Flesher so accurately pointed out once, I am a ‘big man specialist’. I have never, never been pinned or made to submit by anyone weighing over about 280lbs. Aecas, Carnage, Bruce Blank, Nemesis, Grappler… the list goes on and on, it just doesn’t happen! I’ve made a career out of beating super-heavyweights Va’aiga, and your puku certainly puts you in that category now. Number two,” the World Champion adds, holding up a second black-nailed finger to complete a hand gesture that is rather unfriendly, “your tag team partner beside you, Mister Silent-and-Violent Dace Night. Dace Night, who has competed against me in three singles matches, two six-man tags and one regular tag and managed the outstanding record of five losses and a time-limit draw. Quite frankly, I’m shaking in my boots.” The straight-edger scratches his nose briefly, then continues.

 

“See Va’aiga, I’m not denying that you’re good. You’re a former World Champion, there’s no argument about that quality. But I’m put in mind of a quote by Bing Crosby about Frank Sinatra - stick with me here - when he said that ‘a voice like that only comes along once in a lifetime. Unfortunately, his came along in mine’. See, Bing was good, but Frank was better. Va’aiga,” the Englishman states with a faint smile, “I’m younger than you, I’m faster than you, I’m smarter than you… and I’m better than you. And I’m not going away. You’ve had your career, and it’s been a good one, but you need to recognise that all your posturing and shouting doesn’t change the fact that you will not shine now I’m on the scene.”

 

Toxxic turns, apparently to go, but then seems to have a second thought and turns back to the camera which he fixes once more with a steel-grey stare.

 

“Guys, I hope you bring everything you have to that ring tomorrow night. I hope you come and give us the match of our lives, but you need to accept that it won’t be enough. You can bring your pain, destruction and hospital bills but at the end of the night the Violence Distribution Network will be… how can I put it…?”

 

The familiar lopsided grin spreads up the right hand side of Toxxic’s face.

 

“…Returned To Sender.”

 

The grin disappears as abruptly as it arrived, and Toxxic stares down the camera lens for a second.

 

“Prepare to be proved wrong.”

 

 

 

 

END

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I hope VDN destroys Rev-0.