King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 20, 2007 As we return to HeldDOWN~!, we immediately greeted by Cold War Kids' fitting song, "Hospital Beds", fitting because they have during the break played out a man used to hospital beds (for all the right reasons), EMT Tim. He stands in the ring going through his paces, while Officer Bosley stands on the apron running him the drill. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. In the ring, accompanied by Officer Bosley of Rescue 911. From The OAOAST First Responders Unit... weighing two hundred, twenty pounds... EMT TIIIIIIIMMMMMM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH!! The happy go lucky emergency medical technician salutes the crowd. COLE EMT Tim and his colleague Officer Bosley I'm sure looking forward to the Anderson Cup which is set to kick off in a couple of weeks time. But, he's not the only one... The mood suddenly darkens as "King Kong" by LA Symphony hits. Through the entrance first struts James Blonde in his obscenely expensive, extremely unneccessary faux fur coat, paving the way for his very own Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu! The big Samoan pounds his chest and lets out a primal roar before he marches to the ring, applauding by his long time partner. BUFFER And, being led to the ring by James Blonde... from the Isle of Samoa! He weighs in at three hundred and one pounds... representing Internationally Known... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" In slides the big Samoan and already he's panting like a madman, chomping at the bit to get the match started. Bosley pats his partner on the back and drops to the floor, at which point Tim realises the predicament he's in. COACH Nevermind the Anderson Cup, EMT Tim might wanna look forward to seeing some more of his colleagues down at Fresno General. COLE Let's not get ahead of ourselves. EMT Tim is a competitor. COACH No hating, Rescue 911 are goofy as hell but they've strung some wins together in tag matches recently. But, this isn't a tag match. It's one on one against Faqu. This guy has won singles titles, he's not a tag wrestler in an unfamiliar environment, like EMT Tim. *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, it's feeding time at the zoo as Faqu suddenly charges headlong at EMT Tim. The quick thinking EMT manages to duck out of the corner just in time though and Faqu runs right into the turnbuckles sternum first! Tim quickly takes him down with a schoolboy too, for a quick pin... 1... ...NO. Faqu powers out. As Faqu scrambles back up, Tim quickly grabs a headlock to try and tame the Samoan beast. That works for precisely a second before Faqu pushes him off into the ropes. EMT Tim shoots back, but stupidly tries to hit a shoulder tackle and gets knocked to the ground by the shoulder of Faqu. "OOOOHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Like running into a brick wall. COACH Except the brick wall isn't going to start running after you again before you know what hit you. Dropping down, Faqu wraps his hands around Cash's throat and chokes away! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Knowing enough to break the choke on five, Faqu stands back up and stomps Tim in the chest. And again, the lack of footwear no relief for the EMT. Backing off the ropes, Faqu then takes off into the air, coming down with everything behind a headbutt that connects to the shoulder! Blonde applauds smugly from the outside, before noticing that Faqu is looking at him and telling him to "do it again". Nodding his head, Faqu hits the ropes again and drops a second headbutt on the prone EMT. Cover... 1... 2... No! Scoop and a slam puts EMT Tim where Faqu wants him, figuring that he must need a little more behind his headbutt and climbing to the middle rope. Again the braying Blonde applauds away as Faqu stands on the middle rope and lets out another loud yell. COACH Bombs away! Up he goes and down he comes... ...this time headbutting nothing but cold, hard canvas! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Nobody home! Not the smartest of moves for Faqu to go to the middle rope perhaps. COACH You wouldn't be saying that if he connected. COLE ...yeah, but... he didn't. Faqu climbs back up and looks a little dazed as EMT Tim takes the fight to him. A series of right hands rock the Samoan back into the ropes, Tim setting him up with an irish whip and managing to get him on the run, surprisingly. Just as surprisingly, he then hits a standing dropkick and knocks Faqu down on the rebound! That's enough to get the crowd going, Bosley whipping them up from the floor as EMT Tim heads up to the top. "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" Reaching the top, Cash waits for Faqu to come a little closer and soars... ...CAUGHT! Faqu blocks the crossbody attempt by simply catching the EMT in his arms. Faqu then throws EMT Tim up onto his shoulders with similar ease, crushing him with a Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH These people better start that 911 chant up again, hope the local hospital have good hearing. 1... 2... NO! Tim kicks out, albeit with little convinction. COACH What EMT Tim would give to tag out right about now, huh? COLE Unfortunately for him though, this is not a tag team match. Which also means Faqu isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Dragging the lifeless EMT by the arm, Faqu deposits him in the corner leaving Tim's head resting up against the bottom turnbuckle. Sneakily, James Blonde walks over out of the referee's eyeline to prop him up a little better, while the ref is trying to reason with Faqu to keep the match in the middle of the ring. A glare from Faqu sends him scattering though, the bigman backing up into the opposite corner... FAQU SAMOAAAA!! *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND DRIVING HIS POSTERIOR INTO THE HEAD OF EMT TIM AT FULL SPEED!!! COLE Oh man! Did you see Tim's head snap back there? That is whiplash city right there! Some uneasy booing starts up as Faqu again drags EMT Tim around by the wrist. This time though he drags him to his feet, before knocking him right back down with another headbutt! It's at this point that, for some reason, Blonde jumps to the ring apron to try and give Faqu some more 'advise'. Realising that's against the rules of the match, Officer Bosley springs into action, running around ringside and dragging Blonde to the floor by the tail of his (faux) fur coat! Blonde is obviously annoyed at that and turn around to reminstrate... leaving him open for a Roundhouse Kick to the back of the head! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COACH Hey! COLE James Blonde getting involved where he shouldn't have and he just paid the price! As Blonde crawls for safety, Faqu sees his partner going down and reaches out of the ring to pull Bosley up onto the apron. Bosley manages to break free of Faqu and shove him away, but gets distracted as he tries to tell the referee he's trying to keep the peace... ...and gets knocked off the apron with a thrust to the throat! COLE Well, this WAS supposed to be one on one. COACH It is now. With Bosley down, Faqu turns back to EMT Tim, just in time as he's gotten back to his feet. That's about all Cash is physically able to do though and he walks right into a thrust to the throat as well. Unfortunately, he doesn't go down, allowing Faqu to do more damage. Underhooking the arms, Faqu lifts EMT Tim off his feet and leaves him hanging upside down for a couple of seconds, letting the blood rush to the head... before sitting out and SPIKING EMT Tim with the DEATH BY SAMOAN!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Time of death... crap, where's my watch gone!? Faqu presses his hands across Tim's chest... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winner of the match... FFFAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUU!! Keeping the hands on the chest, Faqu looks down the barrel of the camera, shouting something in Samoan which obviously I can't translate because I don't speak Samoan. But he does. Rolling back into the ring, James Blonde kneels next to Faqu and pats him on the back, with the hand he's not nursing his head with. COACH Hey, remember when Faqu was just a normal guy? That was cool. COLE A dominating victory for Faqu tonight. Will he and James Blonde be able to dominate the field in the 2008 Anderson Cup? We'll find out in the New Year! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 20, 2007 As Faqu and Blonde continue to gloat over their win, we cut away into the office of AngleSault, who has been joined in watching this match by a certain Nathaniel Black. BLACK See that? Do ya? That's what we can do, when we get the opportunity. That's a former HI-YAH Champ in action. (turns to AS) Don't get any more dominatin' than that now, does it? ANGLESAULT What did you want, Nathaniel? BLACK You know darn well wot I want. I wanna get in the ring and kick somebody's arse. I wanna go out there an' take somebody's title. I wanna go out and show all of those Yanks a little bit of real wresslin, like only the English can do. I want opportunity 'round here. ANGLESAULT Opportunity you say? BLACK Me, Blonde an' Faqu, we're Internationally Known. We've won titles world 'round. An' yet, when the big opportunities come callin', we keep gettin' overlooked. We're just another couple'a blokes takin' up roster space. We want opportunity, on the big stages. ANGLESAULT Well, that can be arranged. We've got a little thing called the Anderson Cup coming back and it's obvious your buddies are going to be involved. Black sighs under his breath and leans on AS's desk, looking him dead in the eyes. BLACK Listen... when I say 'we', I mean me an' all. I'm chuffed for 'em, I really am. But where does that leave me? ANGLESAULT So, you don't want to be left out? BLACK Yeh. ANGLESAULT Right. Well, in that case, you're in the Anderson Cup as well. You used to be in a tag team around here, right? Again Black sighs under his breath. BLACK Yeh an' you bloody well know it an' all! ANGLESAULT In that case, you need a partner. And what you also need is a lesson. A lesson in 'international relations', shall we say. See, this issue with Jamie O'Hara, it's all about differences. He talks different to you, acts differently, dresses differently... wrestles differently. You saw Faqu and Blonde out there. Opposites attract sometimes. You need to learn to realise that you can't just attack people because they don't wrestle how you like to wrestle, or act how you want them to act. So, what better way to get this issue done and dusted than to team... oh, yes, the doctors are happy to clear him for competition as soon as the New Year is rung in... so, you'll be teaming in the Anderson Cup, with Jamie O'Hara! BLACK WOT!? YOU'VE LOST YOUR BLOODY MIND, MATE! I AIN'T TEAMIN' WITH 'IM, NO WAY... ANGLESAULT Oh, and while you're still ironing out your differences, you might need some 'encouragement'. So, if you don't get along in the Anderson Cup, you'll be suspended. Again! BLACK This is... this is bollocks, this is! ANGLESAULT And it's final. Still fuming, Black turns around and storms out of the office as we fade away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
