Tony149 0 Report post Posted December 26, 2007 (edited) COLE Switching gears now, ladies and gentlemen. This past weekend on OAOAST Syndicated a confrontation took place between the two teams who will meet LIVE next Thursday night at the New Year’s Spectacular for the tag titles on the premiere of Abdullah Nerdly’s House of Worship. You heard me right. Colonel Abdullah is now the host of his very own syndicated talk show. In case you missed you, let’s revisit the incident that got the Heavenly Rockers and Lone Star Gunslingers barred from the arena tonight. [color="#9932CC"][size="3"][b]Courtesy: OAOAST Syndicated[/b][/size][/color] We zoom in from a wide shot somewhere up in the cheap seats to a platform located off to the side of the entranceway as a mellow ARABIC CHANT plays in the background. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Xenophobia or simply distain for the guiding light of the Heavenly Rockers, COLONEL ABDULLAH? You decide as the black sheep of the Nerdly family, dressed as though he stole Morgan Freeman’s wardrobe from Bruce Almighty, walks to the podium. SCHIAVONE What is this? VENTURA It's the Colonel. SCHIAVONE I can see that. But what business does he have out here? Abdullah stands before a cloudy backdrop now surrounded by a bevy of beauties and with a microphone that would make Bob Barker proud in his possession. VENTURA Not quite 72 virgins, but you won’t hear any complaints from the Colonel-- or me! The chanting plays at a subdued level throughout the “service”. ABDULLAH Greetings, infidels, and welcome to the grand opening of my [b][color="#0000FF"]House of Worship[/color][/b]! Ever since Brothers Simon and Ned left for the riches of pay television, this portion of the show has been without…a guiding light. “BOO!” ABDULLAH :D Under the hot television lights the Colonel begins to perspire. With the snap of his fingers one of the beauties pats his forehead dry with a cloth. SCHIAVONE Give me a break! This guy is so full of himself, Jesse. Look at that hideous smile on his face. VENTURA The service ain’t even over and Abdullah’s already delivered a powerful message! ABDULLAH For the past few weeks a search has been going on to find a new host. A host that cannot be swayed by the color of a person’s skin. A host that would allow its viewers to think for themselves. A host loved the world over. SCHIAVONE Then what’s he doing up there? ABDULLAH As fate would have it, the man conducting the search was a close friend of the family -- my REAL family, not the Nerdly clan -- and the executive producer of this segment, Brother Theodore Moneymaker. “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” ABDULLAH Suffice to say, Brother Theodore was blown away by my message of hope and prosperity. A message I wish to spread to all the lost souls of the world, such as those in this arena and watching at home. So without any further ado, let’s begin, shall we? The lights dim and a spotlight falls on Abdullah. ABDULLAH Let’s begin by talking about sex. No, no, no. Love. As you know by now, the hottest story in entertainment is not the writers’ strike, but the revelation Britney Spears’ snot-nosed kid sister is pregnant. To quote a Nerdly family proverb, “One can always find a positive in what is usually deemed a negative.” For Papa Nerdly it was the federal aid he received from fathering countless children. For Sister Jamie Lynn, it’s quite evident to me her [I]hope[/I] is to be the mother she never had. A mother that will love and nurture instead of trying to make a quick buck. So rather than condemn young Jamie Lynn, we ought to commend her for bringing love into the world. A lot like the love my guests this week spread through music, and who on January 3rd at the New Year’s Spectacular will play one of their greatest hits for the Lone Star Gunslingers. Brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews and mothers and fathers, I present to you the greatest rock ‘n‘ wrestling band of ALL-time, accompanied by Holly-Wood, the One & Only World tag team champions… THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS!!! [i][size=4][color="#FF0000"][b]HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT![/b][/color][/size][/i] The Heavenly Rockers emerge to a chorus of boos. Their attire is worthy of the jeers alone as Lolly (Logan and wife Holly) sport matching leopard skin jumpsuits, while Synth rocks an un-PC shirt that reads “My Brother Was A Suicide Bomber And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt”. SCHIAVONE Playing favorites I see. VENTURA Hey, the Heavenly Rockers aren't no slouches. They're the One & Only tag team champions of the world. Synth mentally undresses the beauties as Lolly take center stage with Abdullah. ABDULLAH Brothers Synth and Logan and Sister Holly, welcome to my House of Worship. LOGAN Anything for a friend. But I gotta say, it’s weird being in a House of Worship considering sins past, present and future! SYNTH :headbang: HOLLY :) ABDULLAH :D LOGAN Perfect example: our date with your wicked half-sister’s Lone Star Gunslingers, January 3rd at New Year’s Spectacular. The night acts of violence unimaginable to the human mind will materialize. ABDULLAH :o Brother Logan, it was only this past spring you uttered such a statement and we have since to see the poor souls who dare stood in your path again. LOGAN It’s the same fate Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels will meet at the New Year’s Spectacular. You, Gunslingers, will realize the Heavenly Rockers just aren’t the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time…but the greatest tag team to ever set foot in a wrestling ring sayeth Logan Usher Mann! ABDULLAH Now, Brother Synth, there’s a rumor going around…started no doubt by Melody Nerdly, the biggest gossipers this side of the National Enquirer…that despite the fact the same stipulation was in place for last year’s tag title match at the New Year’s Spectacular, where the loser was automatically entered in the Anderson Cup, you guys fought hard for it to be included. Do you care to dispel this rumor, Brother Synth? SYNTH Why yes Ah certainly do. Lies. ALL LIES! The Heavenly Rockers ain’t scared of no one or anything. If the Gunslingers were here right now, we’d punk their asses out again. “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” SCHIAVONE Well they’re going to get their chance. VENTURA Aw, come on. Just because you don’t believe what’s being said doesn’t mean you can storm the place. The crowd erupts as MELODY NERDLY and the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS head to the set. Melody attired more conservatively for the syndicated program, hiding her navel. The Gunslingers on the other hand have come dressed to fight, fists taped and all. ABDULLAH Oh, yes, the gossip according to Synth. Truer words have never been… (notices company) … spoken. Now hold on just a second, Brothers Jock and Baron and Sister Melody. This is a House of Worship. I will not tolerate any violence on this holy ground. BARON Shut up! MELODY :p “YEAH!” ABDULLAH :firedevil: BARON We’ve been sitting in the back minding our own business, but enough is enough. You wanna talk about lies? Everything that just came out of your mouths were lies. But let the TRUTH set you free! You hear that clock ticking in your heads. Like a doctor telling his patient he or she only has so long to live, you know the music’s going to die January 3rd at the New Year’s Spectacular. We have the momentum and most importantly the support of each and every one of these people here and at home! “YEAH!” LOGAN You talk real big for a couple of guys who haven’t won a damn thing in their lives. Luckily for you the Heavenly Rockers are in the holiday spirit, so I suggest you ride off into the sunset before somebody gets hurt. JOCK Talk is cheap. I’ll give you that, partner. So why don’t we let our actions speak louder than words? MELODY Yeah! Why wait for the New Year’s Spectacular when we can end 2007 with one right now! “YEAH!” Jock and Baron head off to the ring and are promptly jumped from behind. SCHIAVONE Oh, no, Jesse! The Lone Star Gunslingers turned their backs on the Heavenly Rockers… VENTURA And they’re paying for it now, aren‘t they? Serves those Gunslingers right. They pulled that tough guy act on the Heavenly Rockers and got punk’d, just like Synth said they would. Ha! I love it. Restrained by Colonel Abdullah, Melody STOMPS his foot and then SLAPS him in the face to break free… “YEAH!” …only to be quickly wrapped up by Holly-Wood and forced to watch the beat down on her team. “BOO!” SCHIAVONE Somebody needs to put a stop to this! Logan pummels Baron with a light stand as OAOAST officials storm out from the back. As they’re ushered backstage, Logan gets in a parting shot, SPITTING on both Gunslingers! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” We cut back to Michael Cole and The Coach live at Sofa Central. COLE That only adds fuel to the fire, Coach. COACH A fire the Heavenly Rockers will extinguish at the New Year’s Spectacular. COLE We’ll all find out south of the border, next Thursday night, January 3rd live on TSM. Right now… Edited December 27, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
