HD: Reel Talk

[King Cucaracha 0]

[i]Call me (call me) on the line
Call me, call me any, anytime[/i]


[b][color="#008000"]The Enterprise [/color]presents...

In association with the [color="#FF0000"]OAOAST[/color] and [color="#4169E1"]TSM[/color][/b]

[color="#808000"][size=3][b]REEL TALK[/b][/size][/color]

[size=1]Executive Producer
Theodore Moneymaker

Produced By
Simon Singleton

Casting Couch
Ned Blanchard

Security
CPA

Directed By
Molly Nerdly[/size]



MOLLY (Voice-Over)
Reel Talk is filmed before a live studio audience. 

"BOOOOOOOOO [i]*cannedapplause*[/i] OOOOOOOOOOO!"

As the curtain rises on another episode of Reel Talk, we are on the set of Reel Talk! Intros aren't really my thing at the best of times. I'm sorry. Ned and Simon pick up their drinks from the bar, Ned slipping a sneaky tip into the barmaid's top and flashing her a wink as the hosts head towards the VIP Lounge of the set. High above, the LED screen with the total number of women Ned has slept with in his quest to break Wilt Chamberlain‘s record reads:

[font="Lucida Console"][color="red"]CHASING CHAMBERLAIN 
1,883 happy -- and very sore -- bitches![/color][/font]

SINGLETON
Welcome once again to the home of real talk, the... wait, is that right? Only fourty one in three weeks Handsome H, that can't be accurate, can it?

BLANCHARD
What can I say, the Christmas season... stuck at home, with too many close family friends and relatives.

SINGLETON
Some of the close friends must have been women, surely?

BLANCHARD
Yeah, but they only count once, no matter how many times they sample the yule log. I'm not one for fabricating figures. I don't need to. It's New Year's next week and The Handsome Hustler's going to be going south of the border... over and over and OVER again! ARRRRRRRRRRIBA! Think about it, they each have about twenty kids per family down there, it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Ned aims his 'rifle' into the distance and mimes taking a shot with a thrust of the hips.

SINGLETON
Those aren't blanks he's firing either ladies. Anyway, as I was saying, this is Reel Talk. Accept no imitations, this is the premiere in OAOAST talk shows, where we discuss the issues that really matter, FIRST. None of this 'inviting people onto our show the week after they appear on Reel Talk and try to discredit everything they said' crap that other, less scrupulous shows will try and pull. The best guests, the best issues, the best...

BLANCHARD
Screaming orgasm I've ever had!

SINGLETON
:huh:

BLANCHARD
(holds up glass)
Seriously, this is amazing. Genniveve, a masterpiece.

The barmaid blows Ned a kiss.

BLANCHARD
I'll have to return the favour to you sometime. *winks*

SINGLETON
We've got not one, but [i]two[/i] guests on the show tonight. And we've also got our good, close personal friend Christopher Patrick Allen and his security team on stand-by, incase they get any funny ideas. But, just incase, I want to warn the audience, in particular the first few rows, your health insurance may not cover acts of professional wrestling talk-show and to leave now if you do not have a competent lawyer. Alright, legal obligations taken care of, bring out the first guest... BOHEMOTH!!

No need for canned applause as The Meterosexual Monster gets a huge reaction as he strolls out. Attired in a usually crisp suit and wearing his trusty, oh-so stylish orange tinted sunglasses, Bo smiles at the fans as he makes his way out... to be confronted by CPA. The Enterprise's head of security gives Bo a run down of the behaviour he expects him to follow on the show before he's allowed to pass.

SINGLETON
Bo, Bo, good to have you on. You're looking pretty dapper. Not bad at all, really.

Simon straightens out his own suit jacket.

BOHEMOTH
Well you know, I like to look my best, even when I'm on som...

BLANCHARD
Yeah, yeah, that's whatever you were talking about for ya. Let's go ahead and brings out Zack shall we? ZACK MALIBU, come on out!

Bo looks a little annoyed but not entirely surprised at the interruption by the hosts as we're taken over to the entrance again. CPA mouths away into his walkie talkie as out does walk Zack Malibu in a retro Thrillogy t-shirt and faded jeans, opting for the casual look which earns him some derisive looks from The Blonds as he amicably shakes their hands. Zack goes to sit down next to Bo, but The Blonds motion him over to the sofa opposite, so the two are facing one another.

SINGLETON
Nice of you to dress up for us Zack. And, let's just remind you now you're out here, we don't want any trouble tonight. So, now you're both out here, there's a lot of rumours doing the rounds, in the locker room, about some sort of 'challenge' you two have come up with. Tell us about that Zack.

ZACK
Well, we...

BLANCHARD
Sorry, Bo, did you say something?

BOHEMOTH
No, I...

SINGLETON
Hey, don't interrupt Zack there big guy. He's a former World Champion, he outranks you... isn't that right Zack?

With a wry smile, Zack notices Bo now staring at him.

ZACK
This 'challenge', as everybody wants to call it, it's all about the World Heavyweight Championship. Whether it's because we've never had the gold before and want to hold it for the first time, or because we've had it before and want that feeling of being on top one more time, me and Bo here both have a common goal. To go back to the top. To be the World Champion. And we both know that only one of us is going to get there first.

BLANCHARD
Putting you in direct competition, right Bo?

BOHEMOTH
Well, I dunno about that.

SINGLETON
But sooner or later, you might have to bust out that Superkick one more time, right Zack? Like at November Reign.

BLANCHARD
Yeah, how IS your eye doing there big man?

Neither Bo or Zack reply this time and as the mood gets tenser, Ned can be seen motioning off screen for CPA to keep his eye on proceedings.

SINGLETON
Alright guys, I can see this 'friendly competition' is having a little strain on the both of you, so let's skip the starter questions, shall we? Zack, what makes you think you can beat big Bo here to the World Title? What makes you superior to Bo? Don't pull any punches.

ZACK
Listen Simon, I've never said that I'm any superior to Bo.

SINGLETON
But...

ZACK
But nothing.

BLANCHARD
Very informative. Bo, same question.

BOHEMOTH
I don't have to talk about how great I am, Blanchard. I just do what I do in the ring. People can draw their own conclusions over who's better.

Now it's Zack's turn to stare at Bo.

SINGLETON
I'm not quite sure what THAT was supposed to mean, but I like your style. Quiet, but confident. Are you as confident Zack?

ZACK
You don't become three-time World Champion without being confident.

As Bo chuckles under his breath, loud enough to be heard by Zack apparently, both Ned and Simon are practically rubbing their hands with glee at how their interview is going.

BLANCHARD
Uh, anyone who hasn't already, we're going to give you a few seconds to call you friends and tell them to tune in. (pause) Okay, done? Now, Bo, let's come to you. This man right here, he's got a long and storied history in this company. Not all of it quite so 'on the level' as he has appeared to be recently. My question is, how long can you trust him to keep this competition so 'friendly', considering what's on the line.

ZACK
I think the real question is, how long can we trust you two to conduct a proper interview instead of trying to goad us into a fight?

Zack stands up and the hosts exchange a quick look. Apparantly they're not about to back down on their own turf and stand up as well... their confident posture disappearing the moment Bo also finds his feet.

BLANCHARD
Now, hold on guys...

SINGLETON
Let's calm it down, we don't want you to come to blows...

ZACK
No, you want ratings, because ratings mean money and we all know that's what's important to YOU. So how about this? How about me and Bo show you just what this competition between us really means in the grand scheme of things, that being very little, and we show you just how much we can trust each other by taking you on in a tag team match this Thursday night! Let's see what that does to the ratings.

After a quick glance in surprise at being put into a match without any say in the matter, Bo takes a step nearer to Zack which prompts the Beverly Hills Blonds to take an abrupt step ba...


[i]*STATIC!*[/i]

[img=http://eatourbrains.com/EoB/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/technical-difficulties1.jpg]

COLE
...and, that's what happened.

COACH
Up until the point The Blonds destroyed Zack and Bohemoth, beat them within an inch of their lives, made them humble and left with all the fine bitches. Shame about the technical difficulties. That would have been great footage.

COLE
Yeah. Right.

COACH
Anyway, when the fuck does Deuce Deuce Bigalow get his own talk show? Seriously, what's the freaking hold up?

COLE
:huh:

COACH
I'm just saying what they're all thinking Michael! You can't fight public outcry forever man!

Edited December 27, 2007 by King Cucaracha

[King Cucaracha 0]

EDIT: Nevermind!

Edited December 27, 2007 by King Cucaracha