Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! The show opens with a shot of New Year's eve revelers at various cities -- New York, Paris, Tokyo, Mexico, etc -- counting down from 10-1 (in their native language of course) to ring in 2008. We cut back to NYC in time to see the big ball drop and then go around the world as fireworks light the night sky, leading to the following piece of narration with matching clips. The One & Only Anglesault Thread kicks off the New Year with a SPECTACULAR night of action, beginning with a tag team bout pitting Los Conquistadors against a mystery opponent in a first round Anderson Cup bout! To be contested under Lucha Libre rules, Love Generation -- "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez and D*LUX -- defend the 6-man tag team titles against Rico de Janerio and "Sweet" Lucius Soul, the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, and Biff Atlas! Another title defense scheduled for tonight sees the One & Only World tag team championship up for grabs as the Lone Star Gunslingers look to gun down the Heavenly Rockers! Then in our main event, the OAOAST Title is on the line in a TRIPLE THREAT match as Stepehen Joseph faces Tha Puerto Rican and Mad Cappa! All that and more, including the season premiere of the new reality television program starring Krista Isadora Duncan, The Look of Love, as the One & Only Anglesault Thread proudly presents the 2008... BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" LIVE! Monterrey, Mexico We pan around the sold out crowd before swooping over to the broadcast team the OAOAST made famous, Michael Cole and The Coach (they were ours before they were yours Vince!) COLE It's our first event of 2008 and we're happy to bring it to you live from south of the border! Hi again, everyone. Michael Cole alongside Johnathan Coachman for what promises to be a night of exciting action, Coach. COACH 3 title defenses, the start of the 2008 Anderson Cup... Medal hits, and the crowd cheers for Anglesault as he makes his way to the ring. COLE And the chairman's got a big announcement here, I understand! Anglesault climbs into the ring and grabs a mic as Medal dies down. ANGLESAULT Well, here we are, the first show of the new year! *crowd cheers* ANGLESAULT And I'm out here to tell you people tonight, that I've made a new year's resolution! COACH Well, let's hear it! ANGLESAULT My new year's resolution, is that the OAOAST, very soon, will have one, and ONLY one, World champion! *crowd cheers* COLE Wow! ANGLESAULT That's right, at AnglePalooza, Stephen Joseph Popick will put the OAOAST World title on the line, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter will put the International World title on the line! *crowd cheers* ANGLESAULT But that's not all! Right here tonight, on the New Year's Spectacular, we will be holding a 20-man battle royal, and the winner will be entered into the unification match, making it a triple threat! Good luck to all participants, and Happy New Year! Medal plays Anglesault out. COLE A huge new year's announcement by Anglesault! After AnglePalooza, we will have only ONE World champion! But who will the third man be? We'll find out in tonight's battle royal! New Year's Spectacular SURPRISE, SURPRISE. Los Conquistaodrs vs. ? in first round Anderson Cup action NEXT! Edited January 5, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) "Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, So why don't you kill me?" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, damas y caballeros, our first contest of the New Year, first round Anderson Cup action from the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. Coming down the aisle, the number 7 ranked team in the MWC, the meanest and baddest hombres in el mundo…LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Not even their Mexican heritage can garner a pop for Los Conquistadors, who raise their fists defiantly in the air once inside. BUFFER And their opponents, appearing for the first time in nearly a year… The fans jump out of their seats in excitement upon hearing “Frankenstein” by Edgar Winter. BUFFER …hail from Oklahoma and are former World tag team champions… BIG FRANK and UBER… THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUISERS!! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Oh, my! The Sooner Bruisers are back! COACH What a surprise to kick off the New Year’s Spectacular. COLE Jesse Ventura delivered on his tease last week. The Bruisers are a team I thought I’d never see again, not after they were forced to leave the OAOAST for 90 days following their defeat at the hands of the Heavenly Rockers last year at AngleMania VI. COACH Unfortunately it proves Big Frank and Uber aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawers, Cole. They stayed away longer than 90 days! The Bruisers storm the ring and level Los Conquistadors with a pair of SOONERLINES! * DINGDINGDING * Fans are treated to an array of suplexes as both Quistadors are tossed around like rag dolls. Big Frank dumps Uno out to the floor while baby brother Uber PRESSES Dos overhead and, despite pleas from referee Nick Patrick not to, drops the masked man down onto his partner on the arena floor! "YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" COLE The time off doesn’t seem to have affected Big Frank and Uber one bit. They’re dominate as ever. COACH You gotta believe the teams involved in the Anderson Cup are starting to have second thoughts about being in the tournament. Nobody wants to run into them later in the tournament. Paralyzed with fear Uno cowers in the corner as Uber moves in. Nick Patrick eventually gets him to backup to allow Uno out of the corner. After some words of encouragement from his partner Uno locks horns with the Psycho Gremlin, who places the Conquistador in a side headlock before going behind to apply a hammerlock. Uber absorbs a blow to the head and drapes Uno across his shoulder blades, slamming him onto his belly with a REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! “OH!” Dos enters to disrupt a pin attempt and eats a Soonerline for his trouble, but it gives Uno enough time to recover and RAKE THE EYES from behind, momentarily blinding the Psycho Gremlin. A tag is made and Uber is smashed into the turn… NO, Uber blocks it and rams Dos into the buckle instead! “YEAH!” The Bruisers tag and Big Frank plants Dos in the center of the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex and covers! ONE… TWO… Save by Uno! BIG FRANK UNO Big Frank shoves Dos into the Conquistadors corner and dares Uno to step in and fight. His manhood on the line, Uno pulls up his britches and walks into the lion’s den. It’s not long before he finds himself on his back courtesy of a fireman’s carry. Big Frank applies a front face lock and clubs Uno across the back, then wastes him with a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO, the Man of Tomorrow rolls off and does a series of push-ups just for the hell of it. “YEAH!” COLE Big Frank knows he and his brother are in full control of this one. Uno’s sent in for the ride and nailed on the rebound with a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM! Big Frank makes the tag and places Uno on his shoulder as Uber climbs the turnbuckles and delivers a TOP ROPE BULLDOG!! COACH That’ll do it. Big Frank takes care of Dos as the cover is made. ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match and advancing to the semi-finals of the Anderson Cup… THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUISERS!! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE The Sooner Bruisers are back and better than ever! Right now, let's send it over to our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews. Josh, take it away my friend. Josh is backstage with Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont. JOSH Thanks guys, I'm here with Felix Strutter, the International World champion, and Reggie Lamont, the former tag team partner of Denzel Spencer, who was revealed as the masked assailant two weeks ago for you, Felix. STRUTTER And not only am I the International World champion, but the soon-to-be one-and-only, undisputed World champion. *crowd boos* LAMONT (thick Jamaican accent) And you're probably wondering why I've joined Felix, right, mon? Why I, as you say, stabbed Denzel in the back? JOSH ...it crossed my mind. LAMONT Well, I guess none of these people have been watching the same shows I have. No one noticed when Denzel went to the WDW without informing me first. No one noticed when he went back to the OAOAST as a supposed singles star. He wanted me out of the way. He shoved me into the background, because he knew he couldn't outshine Reggie Lamont. *crowd boos* LAMONT And that's why tonight, I'm going to be in that battle royal, not to try to take the title from my new pal, Felix Strutter, but because I want Denzel to feel my pain. I want to cause as much grief for him as possible, and I can think of no better way than to keep him from winning that battle royal. *crowd boos* STRUTTER And it doesn't matter who does win that battle royal, Josh...it's just one more person for me to embarass on my way to becoming the one and only World champion. *crowd boos* JOSH Two very confident men back here, Michael, let's go back to Sofa Central! *back out to Sofa Central, where Coach has a big smile on his face.* COLE Well, we know now that two of the participants in the battle royal will be the former tag team from Jamaica, Denzel Spencer and Reggie Lamont, going in now as adversaries, Coach! COACH I love it! Reggie's got revenge on his mind, and there's no way Denzel is going to make it through that battle royal! COLE But what do you make of this spin that Reggie put on this story? Sounds a little fishy to me! COACH Look, Denzel made a very selfish decision, one that cost his supposed friend a lot of money! He probably pulled a Davey Boy Smith, and told Anglesault that Reggie died in a car crash or something! COLE Come on, I don't buy that for a minute! Fans, we'll be back after this word from the OAOAST. BIGGER THAN KRISTA'S TITS The 30 men over the top rope Lethal Rumble! Sunday night, January 27 live on pay-per-view. Order now! Edited January 3, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) Following a shot of the massive crowd in attendance, we cut to OAOAST correspondent Maggie Nerdly looking F-I-N-E inside the locker room. MAGGIE Hey ya'll. Be sure to stay tuned because later on my guests will be challenging for the One & Only World tag team championship. Along with a gal I know very well, I'm pleased to welcome Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, the Lone Star Gunslingers! The Gunslingers enter in full wrestling gear, white jackets and all. Even Melody has her own cute pink version, a devilishly clever ploy by marketing to appeal to our female base. The girls share a tender moment before commencing with the interview. MAGGIE M, you gotta be excited about what possibly lies ahead. By night's end you could be managing the One & Only World tag team champions. MELODY Sounds bitchin', don't it? MAGGIE I'd imagine the Heavenly Rockers will be doing plenty of that should your team emerge victorious. MELODY Well I suggest they better start lining up the excuses because they're going down. Down, down, down! MAGGIE I'm happy to see you're in such a great mood after what occurred last night at the Angle Awards MELODY Great mood? Underneath this calm, cool and collected exterior is a solider GEARED FOR WAR!!! Oh, I'm sorry. That's years of playing violent video games talking. You know how I can be overly AGGRESSIVE every now and then. (points to camera) And tonight is one of those nights my brother. You may have years of training at various terror camps under your belt, but I have the quickest draws in town… (pointing at Jock and Baron) … and they plan on taking back what rightfully belongs to the people. BARON I'd be a lying man if I didn't tell you my stomach's few of butterflies. This is the moment we've been waiting for our entire career. It's not every day you get to wrestle for a title. Right now we are the number 1 contenders. After tonight we'll either be the One & Only World tag team champions or back at the bottom of the ladder. The loser may automatically be entered in the Anderson Cup, but Jock and I don't want it to come down to that. We control our own destiny and destiny says we're walking out with the straps. JOCK Throughout the course of history every great team has had to overcome that one major obstacle on their way to establishing themselves as one of the best all-time. In basketball it was the Bulls and Pistons; in baseball the Red Sox and Yankees; in football the Colts and Patriots and in the OAOAST it's the Lone Star Gunslingers and Heavenly Rockers. Even though we're talking about 3 different sports each team is linked by one factor: When they finally got that monkey off their back it was done in spectacular fashion. Michael Jordan's Bulls swept the Pistons, the Red Sox overcame a 3-0 deficit and the Colts rallied from 18 down. We've already seen one comeback tonight. Now it's time to see a spectacular thrashing. The Gunslingers and Melody exit as we go back to the ring. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" The soothing 80s sounds of "Easy Lover" waft through the Arena Monterrey upon our return, playing out one of the few teams in the OAOAST not backed up by a Nerdly female (as far as we know), The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Not their usual, smooth selves, Rico and Soul emerge with sour looks on their faces and a determination in their strides, leading the way as their partner for the night Biff Atlas brings up the rear with little fanfare. BUFFER This contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Championships! This match will be contested under Lucha Libre Rules. In this match, legal tags can be made when a competitor leaves the ring and hits the floor. A twenty count will be observed at ringside, lowblows will be cause for automatic disqualification and the use of the piledriver, in accordance with Mexican wrestling rule, is illegal. The referee may also stop the match at any time under the "excessive punishment" rule, if he deems that one team are no longer attempting to try and win the match. In all of this explanation, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and Biff Atlas have all long hit the ring. Biff looking totally out of place next to his team-mates. BUFFER Introducing at this time, in the ring, they are the challengers. Total combined weight, six hundred thirty three pounds. First, the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL, they are THE MARDI GRAS HHOOOOOOMMEEWRECKING CRRREEEEEEWWWWWii And, their tag team partner. From Venice Beach, California... BBIIIIIFFFFFFF AAAAAAAATTLLLLLLAAAAAAAASSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius's 'fro combing doesn't stop as Biff and Rico talk things over. COLE This all stems from a couple of weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, during the Lucius Soul/Krista Isadora Duncan match. D*LUX interjected themselves when Rico got up on the apron and started singing "Gloria"... yes, I know, that sounds like a needlessly farcical lie, but go back and watch it if you don't believe me... in order to even up the numbers. And The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, after being embarrassed yet again by Krista, of course took exception to D*LUX's involvement. COACH You're conveniently forgetting the part where these two deluded saps put their hands on Lucius during the match, held him from coming off the top, which lead to Krista's victory. COLE They got a little too involved, yes. Anyway, Lucius and Rico demanded a match with D*LUX and lucked out as AngleSault looked for a six-man title defence here tonight in Mexico. Which is where Biff Atlas comes into the equation. COACH Yeah, what's up with that? I guess when you've got a 20 Man Battle Royal on the card, you take what you can get. .:CUE: "Love Generation", Bob Sinclar:. Jade Rodez leads the way for her regular charges, D*LUX. Jade stops on the stage with hands on hips, striking a pose as "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant emerge and stand either side, saluting their fans. They soon find themselves posing besides a different Rodez though, as Leon steps in front of her sister and takes her spotlight, hiding her with an outstretching of his robe. Jade and Leon bicker a little, left to it by Shayne and Tyler as they hand-tag their way down the aisle. But like all good brother and sisters, the Rodez siblings are all smiles again a few seconds later as they follow D*LUX to the ring. BUFFER And the opponents. They are accompanied to the ring by Ms. JADE RODEZ! At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety nine pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST Six Man Tag Team Champions of the WWOOOORRRRRRRLLLLD... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT, they are D*LLLUUUUUXXXXXX!! And, their tag team partner. He is Silky Smooth, he is "LUSCIOUS" LEON RODEZ!! Together, are the LLLOOOOOOOOVVEEEEE GGEEENNEEERRRRRRAAAAAAATTIIIIIIOOOOOOOONN!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Love Gen waste no time reaching the ring, glared down by Lucius and Rico. "What's their problem" remarks Leon, either referring to the looks on their faces or just their look, period. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Our first of three World Championships on the line here tonight in Monterrey. Starting out, it's Shayne Brave and a still irate looking Lucius Soul. The New Orleans native throws away his 'fro pick and gets right in the face of Shayne, running his mouth about what happened two weeks ago. It's only a forearm shot from Shayne that manages to shut him up. Shayne hits a couple more forearms before going for a whip, reversed by Lucius. Big leapfrog from Lucius forces Shayne underneath, but when Lucius turns around to meet him on the way back, the blonde boybander is gone. Sliding under the ring, Shayne makes a 'lucha tag', allowing Leon Rodez to sneak in from behind and roll Soul up... 1... 2... NO! Kicking out, Lucius gets over his initial confusion and takes a wild swing at Leon. The Silky Smooth One ducks however and jars the spine of "Sweet" Soul with a big atomic drop! Tag made and now Tyler is legal, he and Leon sending Lucius off with a double irish whip. Stepping out in front of his partner, Rodez manages to get underneath Soul and launch him into the air, the flight much more enjoyable than the landing as Lucius comes down across the outstretched knee of "Tremendous" Tyler in a mega inverted atomic drop! Holding his coccyx again, Lucius turns around and Leon winds up, Lucius quickly turning away from a potential right hand, but into a high dropkick by Tyler! COLE Fast paced stuff from the champs in the early going, here's another cover... 1... 2... Lucius out at two, but into an arm-wringer. COLE You have to feel that these rules will play to the champions' advantage tonight. The ability to make these 'lucha tags' is going to make it even easier for them to interchange, in and out, use their speed and their teamwork. Case in point, Shayne tags back in and comes off the top with an axehandle to the arm of Lucius. The youngster gets a little overexcited however and takes a moment to play to the crowd, allowing Lucius time to plot, waiting with a thumb to the eyes as Shayne eventually wrings out the arm. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lucius quickly tags out to the first hand he can find, that of Biff Atlas. The OAOAST's one and only Global Activist steps into the ring... and immediately runs into an armdrag! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Biff, I'm sure not endearing himself to his new team-mates with that. COACH No kidding. All Lucius and Rico wanted was revenge on D*LUX. They didn't ask for a six-man title match. And who even chose Biff as their partner, surely they could have found someone more suitable, more Mardi Gras? COLE Like who? I don't think The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew have made many friends in their time in the OAOAST. Hell, the other week, they were playing dice with Los Conquistadors. COACH Yeah, but that's only because Los Conquistadors are notoriously bad with their dinero. Holding onto the arm, Shayne makes the tag as his eyes continue to sting. Leon takes back over and bars the arm, mocking the former member of the immortal NRG by doing some squat thrusts in the process. A knee to the gut gets Biff free, clubbing Rodez in the back and then irish whipping him into a neutral corner. Leon hits the buckles, but manages to get a foot up to block Biff's charge. Jumping to the second rope, Leon fakes on a jump and then takes the ducking Atlas down with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Back up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Rodez connects with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. Biff fires back with a right hand though, catching Rodez by surprise and knocking him off balance, back into the ropes. Following in, Biff attempts a clothesline and predictably gets backdropped up and over the top, to the floor. COLE That's a tag. I'm not sure if Leon realises that. Apparantly he does, as when Lucius Soul runs into replace Biff, he suffers the same fate and gets backdropped right onto Bono's Favourite Wrestler! Before he can get charged again, Leon then grabs onto the top rope AND WIPES BOTH LUCIUS AND BIFF OUT WITH A PESCADO! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Legal men now are Rico de Janeiro and Tyler Bryant for the champs. Swaggering into the ring with his entrance attire still on for curious reasons, the sleazy Brazilian focuses his attention not on his opponent but on Jade Rodez, which slows the match down considerably. Rico eyes up Jade and pulls a length of Mardi Gras beads from around his neck, offering the cheap green plastic necklace to her. But, not without giving HIM something in return of course. Jade looks back, distinctly non-plussed and definately non-flashing... *slap!* ...while Tyler takes exception to the Brazilian and slaps the taste out of his mouth!! COACH Woah! Some lucky boy got him some testes from Santa! Tyler lands a succession of right hands to further stagger Rico, sending him off the ropes and connecting on a standing dropkick! Picking up the discarded beads from the canvas, Tyler then trails Rico as he crawls to his corner... AND WHIPS HIM IN THE ASS WITH THEM! COLE Ow, that's gotta sting! COACH You'd know. The horrified Rico backs away into a corner with Tyler right after him. But Tyler gets lured in and takes a boot to the gut. The crowd boo as Rico takes a moment to stroke his porn 'stache, before taking many more moments to stroke his tingling cheeks, a sight most could do without. COLE For all of our Brazilian fans, I want to apologise for the fate of your flag at the moment. Rico measures Tyler on his way back up, connecting with a big closed fist to the face. Obviously that doesn't go down well with referee Mike Chioda who warns him to open it up. Rico obliges, not out of reverence to the ref but because it allows him to slap Tyler across the face in a reciept from earlier. The shot drops Tyler, Rico wiping the sweat from his hairy torso and flicking it towards Tyler's tag team partners and manager. Leon and Jade are just like "can you believe this guy", but Shayne gets heated enough about it to jump in after The King Of The Mardi Gras. COACH Somebody ought to tell him, Krista ain't watching. Save your energy buddy. As Shayne is calmed down by Leon, Tyler is scooped up by Rico and placed over the shoulder. Picking his spot, Rico brings Tyler down across a knee with a big Shoulderbreaker and hooks a leg... 1... 2... No! By the hair, Rico leads Tyler into the Mardi Gras corner, pinning him in while Lucius tags himself in. Jogging into the middle of the ring, Lucius gets a run-up and dives in, Rico dodging out of the ring just in time to avoid the Soul Brother Splash! Tyler gets crushed in the corner and stumbles out, hand lamely stretched in search of a tag as he crumbles to the canvas. Turning him over, Lucius makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. The tide has turned now and it's the challengers who are making the frequent tags. However, the sequence isn't quite as smooth as the champions, as Lucius goes straight for his regular 'out' in Rico de Janeiro again. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew set up Tyler, sending him into the ropes and dropping him with a double back elbow. Feeding the foot, Lucius is then assisted by Rico in hitting a Standing Moonsault. Rico then leaves the ring and allows Lucius to continue as legal man, Biff trying to join in with some applause as another cover is made... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE This, all about the six-man tag team titles. But I'm sure there's half an eye on the Anderson Cup. The Mardi Gras Home Wrecking Crew won't have to worry about Krista Isadora Duncan, but they do have The Love Doctors to contend with in the first round. And if they manage to make it past The Docs, the fate awaiting them? The Sooner Bruisers, as we saw moments ago! COACH Wow. As if they weren't mad enough when they arrived tonight, what must they have been thinking watching that domination earlier? Lucius puts the boots to Tyler, adding in a funky little legdrop as he starts to loosen up. He then goes back over to the corner... relenting a little and tagging in Biff Atlas. COLE And speaking of the Anderson Cup, D*LUX in action next week in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, against James Blonde and Faqu. The least of Tyler's worries right now though. Waiting for Tyler, Biff loads up and throws a big clothesline. Tyler manages to duck safely underneath and runs the ropes, but encounters a problem as he runs into the Polar Knee Cap! Tyler falls like the Titanic, only quicker and without quite so much violin music, to the amusement of The MGHWC. Not done yet though, Biff grabs hold of Tyler's ankle and drags him into position next to one of the neutral corners. Biff then steps over and onto the middle rope. He conserves his energy by not going to the top and thus reduces his carbon footprint on his Carbon Neutral Splash... ...but he eats a boyband footprint, as Tyler lifts his leg up and catches Biff coming down!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Biff folds on impact, knees underneath him as he falls into the lower turnbuckles. Both Lucius and Rico urge him to roll completely out of the ring. But Biff is too woozy know where he is. COLE That was a rather 'Inconvenient Landing' for Biff Atlas. COACH HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR !!!!!!! :rollseyes: As Tyler rolls over in search of his corner, Biff finally manages to get enough of his senses to roll out of the ring. Whether he realises he's making a tag by doing so is another matter. Doesn't matter to Lucius Soul, who rushes into the ring and cuts Tyler off from the tag. Held by the foot, Tyler hops up onto the other and throws an enziguri... ...DUCKED! Lucius avoids the kick and grabs Tyler in a double underhook. However, the boybander fights the trip to Nawlins and eventually manages to back bodydrop his way free! Unfortunately for Tyler though, he finds himself facing the wrong corner and drawing Rico in. Tyler manages to react quickly though, ducking a clothesline from Rico. Still he finds himself in the wrong corner though. COLE Tyler's having to fight all three alone here. Referee, losing control. Realising where he is, Tyler wheels around and finds both of The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew in his path to the tag. And he also finds a boot from Rico to the ribs. Spinning Tyler around, Rico pins his arms behind his back and tries to hold him in place for his partner. But Tyler manages to break free and tumbles forward... ...underneath a Bicycle Kick, WHICH CONNECTS ON RICO... ...WHILE TYLER MAKES THE TAG TO LEON RODEZ!! "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jumping into the ring with all the babyface fire of a Face Of The Year 2007, Leon quickly pops the still shocked Lucius Soul with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns, blowing the kiss, before turning back on his heels... *SMACK!* ...and nailing Soul upside the head with the enziguri, turning him inside out! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! As Rico and Biff both collect their bearings on the arena floor, Leon hauls Lucius back up and shoots him into the ropes. Up and over goes Lucius on the rebound, with a BAAAAACK bodydrop! Leon then hits the ropes and bypasses Lucius on his way to his feet, coming off the far ropes with a tuck and a roll, out of which he throws a big clothesline to put Lucius down once again! COLE And The Shack Attack! Leon Rodez is rolling right now, quite literally! With a cry of "that's it", Leon waits for Lucius to get back up with the end clearly in mind. However a blindsight from Biff Atlas puts pay to that, clubbing Leon in the back with a double axehandle. Biff continues to club away on Rodez, allowing Lucius to roll from the ring, Atlas turning Leon around and planting him with a Side Belly To Belly Suplex... 1... 2... NO! Picking Leon back up, Biff throws him aside and out of the ring. That allows Shayne Brave into the ring though, getting a lot of momentum behind a running Leg Lariat to put Biff down! Leg hook by Shayne... 1... 2... Kickout! Moving quickly, Shayne leaves the ring and heads for the top rope. However as soon as his foot hits the top floor, Shayne is barged by Lucius Soul, sending him flying from the ring and out into the arms of Leon Rodez! Leon manages to cushion some of Shayne's landing. But by the time the two of them pull themselves up, a torpedo like figure is flying towards them, Lucius Soul throwing himself over the top rope at full speed AND SANDWICHING LEON AND SHAYNE INTO THE BARRICADE WITH A HUGE, NO HANDS SOMERSAULT PLANCHA!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE OH MY!! Lucius almost flew into the second row with that dive, with reckless abandon!! COACH The brother can fly, what can I say? All three end up in a heap and as an after thought, as back in the ring, Rico de Janeiro and Tyler Bryant find the strength to pull themselves back into the match. Tyler lands first with a boot, sending the jogging Brazilian into reverse. Rico falls into the turnbuckles, penned in by "Tremendous" Tyler... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" COLE A Top Ten Hit for "Tremendous" Tyler! Coming off the ropes, Tyler grabs a headlock, looking for a Bulldog... ...but gets caught on the way up and run crotch-first across the top turnbuckle in the opposite corner! A collective groan goes through the audience as Tyler is left sat up top, in position for Rico to set up a Back Superplex. Trying to fight it, Tyler brings his arm down with elbows to the back of the neck, then throws some lefts to the face. Rico clubs him with some forearms to subdue him though, setting up and falling back with the Back Superplex... ...MID-AIR COUNTER PUTS TYLER ON TOP THOUGH... 1... 2... NO!!! COLE Wow, so close though! COACH See, that's what these people should see in Rico. The toughness, the determination to make something of himself from his poor Brazilian upbringing, not being tricked into musical numbers mid-match and crap like that! As Rico slowly gets off the mat, Tyler waits, poised. Rico makes it to one knee, at which point Tyler looks to strike with the Shining Enzigu... DUCKED! The kick misses and Tyler climbs back up... ...sidestepping Biff... ...WHO CUTS THROUGH RICO DE JANEIRO WITH THE (AL) GOOOOOORRREEEEEE!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Out of the ring rolls Rico clutching his stomach, while Biff is left to try and attone for his error. He manages to duck a clothesline from Tyler and scoops him over the shoulder, looking for a running powerslam. Tyler manages to slide down the back of the Environmental Activist however... *SMACK!* ...and CRACK him with a Superkick! The kick manages to knock Biff loopy but somehow he maintains his footing, so Tyler quickly bursts into the ropes... *SMACK!* ...and CRACKS him with a Yakuza Kick, the second kick in quick succession, well and truly KOing Biff!! COLE The lights are out and not the kind Biff would like! Leaping back to his feet, Tyler takes a sudden detour though, running right past Biff AND SOARING THROUGH THE ROPES, KNOCKING DOWN LUCIUS AND SHAYNE WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Bodies all over the place! This is lucha libre! All of this leaving the way clear for Leon Rodez, scaling to the top... ...AND LANDING THE 450 SPLASH ON BIFF!!! COACH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL... 1... 2... COACH ...OOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners... and STILL OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... SHAYNE BRAVE, TYLER BRYANT, LEON RODEZ, LOVE GEEEEEENNEEEERRRRAAAAAATTIIIOOOOON!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rolling into the ring, Jade wraps an arm around her brother who tries not to look worried about his style being cramped. Meanwhile Tyler pulls himself off of Shayne and helps his partner to his feet, no hard feelings about the spur of the moment dive. The boybanders take their share of the titles, the other passed in to Leon who shrugs off his little 'sis to make a cooler, solo celebration. COLE Tremendous fast paced action here at the New Years Spectacular! And it's Love Generation, clinging onto their 6-Man Tag Team Championships! We'll be right back with our big, 20 Man Battle Royal, which if it's anything like this might just cause us to both explode trying to call it! COACH Here's hoping! Lucius looks up from the outside and holds his head in frustration, as we head off to our commercial break. New Year's Spectacular 20 MAN BATTLE ROYAL Winner joins Stephen Joseph & Felix Strutter in the title unification match at Anglepalooza NEXT! Edited January 6, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) As the show returns to the air, generic OAOAST music is playing as Alfdogg starts to climb into the ring, joining 19 other superstars already inside. COLE We're back, folks, and there is the former two-time OAOAST World champion Alfdogg, one of the 20 participants in this battle royal, with the winner getting a chance to be the undisputed World champion at AnglePalooza! COACH And I like his chances, Cole, there's some big names in there, but I really like Alf's chances here! In addition to Alf, the ring includes Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Christopher Patrick Allen, Colombian Heat, Denzel Spencer, Reggie Lamont, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Team Heyross, Los Diablos de Fuego, Jumbo, and Deuce Deuce Bigelow. Once Alf steps in, the referee calls for the bell, and the action begins! *DING DING DING* COLE Here we go! One of these men will meet "After Hours" Felix Strutter, and the winner of tonight's triple threat match at AnglePalooza! The action is too tough to call at first, and then two crowds start to form...one of which lifts Jumbo over the top rope, and to the floor! The camera then quickly cuts to the other side of the ring to see Deuce hit the floor, as well! COACH WHOA~! COLE And it won't be Jumbo or Deuce! The two biggest men in the match will have to hit the showers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st eliminaton: Jumbo eliminated by: Todd Cortez, Nathaniel Black, James Blonde, Christopher Patrick Allen, Colombian Heat, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, & Mariachi ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Deuce Deuce Bigelow eliminated by: Jamie O'Hara, Faqu, Theodore Moneymaker, Denzel Spencer, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin, & Moracca left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Christopher Patrick Allen, Colombian Heat, Denzel Spencer, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin, Mariachi, Moracca ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Everyone then pairs off as in a normal battle royal, since this is, y'know, a normal battle royal. Reggie Lamont hammers away on Jamie O'Hara from behind, while Team Heyross doubles up on Brock Ausstin. Suddenly, Todd Cortez scoops Theodore Moneymaker onto his shoulders! COLE And the head of the Enterprise in trouble early! However, Faqu makes the save for Teddy, nailing Cortez in the midsection. Teddy responds by dealing out air money. COLE And Teddy flashing the money sign there after the save! Have to keep an eye on that. COACH You really think Faqu's in it for Mr. Moneymaker? COLE You never know, as much cash as he has! Mariachi then takes over on Cortez, as Faqu and Teddy start to double-team Thunderkid. Colombian Heat helps out Denzel Spencer against CPA, as Mariachi charges Cortez...and is backdropped to the floor! COLE And one of the Diablos out, that looks like Mariachi! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Mariachi eliminated by: Todd Cortez left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Christopher Patrick Allen, Colombian Heat, Denzel Spencer, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin, Moracca ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heat and Alf slug it out in a corner, as Reject works over Moracca. COLE Even though the two biggest guys in the match have been eliminated, you've still got some mass in that ring, Coach! COACH Oh yeah, Brock's in there, you got the Samoan Wrecking Ball...CPA in there from the Enterprise... CPA has attacked Spencer from behind. Teddy shouts out orders while CPA works over Spencer in a corner. Meanwhile, Brock fights his way out of another corner against James Blonde and Nathaniel Black. COLE Brock Ausstin fighting desperately in there, you know he wants a chance to be a World champion! CPA holds Spencer up for Teddy, who comes in for a clothesline...but Spencer slips out, and CPA takes the shot! COACH Oh no! COLE And Teddy just hit his own man! CPA staggers back into the ropes, and Spencer hops up and clotheslines Teddy to the mat, then hits CPA with a dropkick in the back, and CPA falls over the top to the floor! COACH I can't believe that. COLE Christopher Patrick Allen has been eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Christopher Patrick Allen eliminated by: Denzel Spencer left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Denzel Spencer, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin, Moracca ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brock then lifts Moracca high overhead! COACH And we've got a man joining him, it looks like! Brock tosses Moracca right down on top of CPA! COLE And the other Diablo is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Moracca eliminated by: Brock Ausstin left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Denzel Spencer, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moracca gets to his feet, then looks down at CPA. Moracca does the grind on CPA's head! COLE COACH What is that? Moracca then takes off down the aisle, with CPA in hot pursuit! In the ring, Reggie sizes up Denzel, then as he turns around, floors him with a HUGE bicycle kick! COACH DAY-UM~! COLE What a kick from Reggie Lamont! Reggie then picks up Denzel, and pitches him to the floor! COACH YEAH! COLE And Denzel Spencer has been eliminated, by his former tag team partner, Reggie Lamont! Reggie has made good on his word! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Denzel Spencer eliminated by: Reggie Lamont left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Reggie Lamont, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin, Charlie Moss, Quentin Benjamin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O'Hara dropkicks Reggie from behind, as Team Heyross works over Brock once again. COLE And Team Heyross very smart, they have stayed together throughout this match! TK helps out Brock, and Moss thumbs him in the eye, as Benjamin continues to work over Brock. That is short-lived, however, as Brock recovers and hammers Benjamin in a corner. TK turns it around on Moss, as well. COACH But they're in trouble now! Brock and TK have Team Heyross set up for Irish whips, as O'Hara delivers a jawbreaker to Reggie, sending him staggering to mid-ring. Brock and TK then whip Team Heyross into mid-ring, sandwiching Reggie in between them! COLE Reggie Lamont caught between Team Heyross! TK then charges Benjamin, and clotheslines him to the floor, while Brock does the same to Moss! Cortez then grabs Reggie, and pitches him to the outside, as well! COLE And three more guys gone, right there! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Quentin Benjamin eliminated by: Thunderkid 8th elimination: Charlie Moss eiminated by: Brock Ausstin 9th elimination: Reggie Lamont eliminated by: Todd Cortez left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O'Hara then slugs it out with Reject, as Blonde and Faqu double up on Alf. As they hammer away, a "Let's go Alf!" chant can be heard starting up. Meanwhile, Cortez and Nathaniel Black are in the midst of a spirited exchange. Black gets the better of it, then whips Cortez into the ropes, but puts his head down, and Cortez goes to the standing headlock, prompting a big pop from the crowd! COLE Could be the Riot Act Plus! However, Black backdrops out of it! Black then hooks Cortez from behind, and delivers the CHELSEA DAGGER~! COACH There we go! Black then poses for the crowd, drawing boos. He picks up Cortez, still raising his arm in the air. COACH He's wasting a lot of time here, though! Black goes to dump Cortez, but Cortez reverses, and it's Black who ends up on the floor! COACH NO! COLE Nathaniel Black eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10th elimination: Nathaniel Black eliminated by: Todd Cortez left in ring: Todd Cortez, Jamie O'Hara, Faqu, James Blonde, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So the field now cut in half with the elimination of Nathaniel Black! Alf fights back on Blonde and Faqu, as the crowd gets into it. Alf stomps on Faqu's bare foot, then kicks Blonde in the midsection, and grabs him in a side headlock. He runs to the corner, and kicks off of the buckle, catching Faqu on the way down, as well, and delivering a double bulldog! COLE What a move by Alf! COACH But look at Faqu! Faqu is right back up, and delivers a BIG thrust kick to the jaw of Alf! COLE And what a KICK by the Samoan Wrecking Ball! Faqu lets out a yell, which draws boos, then goes to work on Heat. Meanwhile, as Cortez works over Blonde, Landon Maddix makes his way to the ring! COLE Wait a minute! COACH Oh yes! COLE He's not in the battle royal! Cortez sets up Blonde for the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111, when he spots Landon, and drops Blonde. COLE Landon Maddix out here, and he's distracted Todd Cortez! As Cortez jaws with Landon, Blonde hammers him from behind. Landon laughs, as Blonde scoops up Cortez for the kill, raising his hand in the air. He makes his way to the ropes, but Cortez hangs on, and Blonde's momentum takes him out to the floor! COLE And Cortez somehow able to eliminate James Blonde! Cortez then stands up on the apron, and continues to talk to Landon, as Faqu sneaks up from behind, and delivers a big chop, sending him flying to the floor! COLE And now Todd Cortez eliminated, courtesy of that big chop from the Samoan Wrecking Ball, Faqu! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th elimination: James Blonde eliminated by: Todd Cortez 12th elimination: Todd Cortez eliminated by: Faqu left in ring: Jamie O'Hara, Faqu, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Alfdogg, Thunderkid, Reject, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE But give an assist to Landon Maddix, who has no business out here... Suddenly, Nathaniel Black comes running back out! COLE And now look at this! A 3-on-1 assault on Todd Cortez! Landon, Blonde and Black stomp Cortez on the floor, as officials run out of the back to back them off. COACH This is great, Cole! Landon raises his arms in the air, as the crowd boos. Finally the three are forced to the back, and Cortez recovers slowly, then runs to the back in pursuit! COLE And Todd Cortez is hot! COACH He's making a mistake here, I'm telling you! Meanwhile, back in the ring, TK and Reject hook up on the ropes, and Teddy and Faqu sneak up from behind, and dump both men to the floor! COLE And there goes two more! Thunderkid and Reject were fighting it out on the ropes, and Teddy came from behind, again with the help of Faqu, and the two joined together to dump both of them! Teddy celebrates, and hands off the air bills once again. Meanwhile, O'Hara has Alf set up, and comes of for a 450 KNEEDROP~!!!...but Alf rolls out of the way! COLE And O'Hara's knees crashing into the mat! Alf then gets to his feet, and hooks O'Hara, taking him right over the top to the floor with an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE And Jamie O'Hara gone, we're down to five! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Thunderkid eliminated by: Faqu, Theodore Moneymaker 14th elimination: Reject eliminated by: Faqu, Theodore Moneymaker 15th elimination: Jamie O'Hara eliminated by: Alfdogg left in ring: Faqu, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Alfdogg, Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Teddy and Faqu double up on Heat, while Alf and Brock slug it out. COLE Alf and Brock going at it, what battles in the past between these two! Brock gets the better of the exchange, but Alf goes to the eyes. Alf attempts an Irish whip, but Brock counters, and pulls Alf in for a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Nice suplex by Brock! Teddy and Faqu have Heat in trouble, but Brock makes his way over and rams their heads together! Teddy goes down, but Faqu shrugs it off and delivers one of his own to Brock! COACH Look at that! Faqu then delivers a thrust to the throat, sending Brock down, where he rolls to the outside. COLE And Brock Ausstin not eliminated, you have to go over the top rope! Teddy drops an elbow to the back of Alf's head, while Faqu stalks Heat once again. Faqu delivers shoulders to the midsection, while Teddy shouts out encouragement and hands out air money. Faqu then back out, and charges. Heat dodges him, and sends him into the middle buckle with a drop toehold! As Brock rolls back inside, Heat blocks a right and a left from Teddy, then ducks another big right, and delivers an atomic drop! Alf rolls to the apron, as Brock grabs Faqu and scoops him up. COACH Uh-oh... COLE F-STUNNER-5 coming up! Brock spins Faqu around, and completes the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 COLE What power from Brock Ausstin! Heat then drills Teddy with a PELE KICK~!, which causes Teddy to land on Faqu in a postion which incites many 's. Alf then positions himself on the top rope... COACH Look at this! ...and comes off with the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE Five-Star from Alfdogg! Brock then scoops Alf up for another F-Stunner-5, but Alf slips behind the back and executes a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! When Brock gets back to his feet, Alf jumps onto his shoulders for a hurricanrana! Heat then dropkicks Brock in the back, sending both men over the top! COACH Look at this! Brock falls off the apron to the floor, while Alf kicks his legs frantically, and eventually pulls himself back in under the bottom and clings to the bottom rope. COLE We're down to four! Brock Ausstin eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th elimination: Brock Ausstin eliminated by: Colombian Heat Final Four: Faqu, Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat, Alfdogg ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heat is down on the mat, as Faqu steps back and falls forward with a headbutt. Teddy then stops Faqu, and points at Alf, telling him to get rid of him. COLE And Moneymaker giving Faqu some instructions here... As Alf struggles to his feet with the ropes, Faqu charges...but Alf drops down and pulls the rope down, and Faqu goes flying over it to the floor! COACH ...I don't think that's what Teddy was looking for! COLE Three men remaining! The Samoan Wrecking Ball is gone! However, Teddy simply drops a fist on the spent Alf, and pitches him to the floor! COACH Wow! COLE And Alf is gone! What a shocker, we're down to two! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17th elimination: Faqu eliminated by: Alfdogg 18th elimination: Alfdogg eliminated by: Theodore Moneymaker left in ring: Theodore Moneymaker, Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE So it will either be Colombian Heat, or the leader of the Enterprise, Theodore Moneymaker, going to AnglePalooza! The crowd boos the elimination of Alf, as Teddy holds his hands out, backing off Heat, then waves to the back. CPA comes back out, carrying a duffle bag. COLE What is this? COACH What could be in that bag? CPA hands the bag up to Teddy, who starts talking to Heat. He then opens the bag, which is filled to the top with various dollar bills! COACH Wow! COLE Teddy trying to buy off Heat here... COACH Don't be foolish, Heat! It's either a bag of money, or a broke ass-kicking! Heat mulls it over, and eventually takes the bag. COLE I don't believe it. COACH That's what I'm talkin' about! Teddy starts to pose on the buckles...when Heat unzips the bag, and starts throwing the money out! COLE And Heat is giving away the money! Teddy turns around, and sees what's going on, and goes after Heat. Heat swings the bag of money at Teddy, then starts delivering right hands! COLE You can't buy Heat! I knew it! Heat goes for an Irish whip, but Teddy reverses. Heat ducks a clothesline, but gets caught with a powerslam! COACH You may not be able to buy him, but you can send a message to him this way! Teddy gets to his knees, then to his feet, and poses for the crowd, drawing boos. COLE Theodore Moneymaker looking to get a shot at being the undisputed World champion! Teddy picks up Heat and backs him into a corner, delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Teddy brings Heat out, and executes a vertical suplex! COACH He's looking good right now! COLE Nicely executed suplex! Teddy gets to his feet, then drops a fist on Heat! He gets to his feet again, and drops another! He then picks Heat up, and looks to dump him! COLE And maybe it will happen now! Heat struggles, and drops back down in the ring. Teddy stomps away, then whips Heat into the ropes. He puts his head down, however, and gets caught with a swinging neckbreaker! COLE But Heat with a big move! This could be the turning point of the battle royal! Both men get to their feet slowly, and Teddy goes for a right hand, which is blocked by Heat, who delivers one of his own! Heat opens up with a flurry, then whips Teddy into the ropes, backing in himself and catching Teddy with a flying forearm! COLE Colombian Heat on a roll! Heat calls out to the fans, who egg him on, as Teddy begs off. Heat backs him into a corner, and climbs up, firing off rights as the fans count along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! Teddy carries Heat out of the corner, and attempts an inverted atomic drop, but Heat counters, and clotheslines him to the mat! COACH Oh, come on, Teddy! You can't let this clown go to AnglePalooza! Heat whips Teddy into a corner, and charges, but Teddy gets a foot up! COACH There you go! Teddy stops to catch his breath, then signals for the end. COLE And Moneymaker says he's headed for AnglePalooza! Teddy backs into the ropes, and runs at Heat...but Heat drops down, and backdrops Teddy over the top! COACH Nonononono... However, Teddy lands on the apron! Heat goes for a right hands, but Teddy blocks and delivers one of his own! Teddy then hooks a front facelock, and brings Heat onto the apron with him via a suplex! COLE And look at this! Both men battling it out on the apron, if they fall off, it's over! Heat and Teddy slug it out, with Teddy getting the better of the exchange. Teddy then grabs a side headlock, and rakes Heat's face across the top rope! COLE And Heat has his face raked across that top rope! Teddy grabs the headlock again...but this time, Heat shoves him off, and Teddy rams into the ringpost, then staggers...and FALLS OFF TO THE FLOOR~! COACH NO! COLE That's it! Colombian Heat has won it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19th elimination: Theodore Moneymaker eliminated by: Colombian Heat WINNER: Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the battle royal...COOOOOOOOOOOOOLOMBIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN NNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT~!!!!! COACH I can't believe this. Teddy and CPA argue with the referee at ringside, but to no avail, and the two leave ringside in a huff. COLE Colombian Heat will go to AnglePalooza and challenge for the Undisputed World championship! And you remember what happened the last time he participated in a big unification match! COACH ...yeah, I remember. Teddy points at Heat in the ring, as Heat celebrates his victory. The referee raises his hand, and Teddy throws another tantrum. COLE So we know that Felix Strutter and Colombian Heat will go to AnglePalooza, but who will the third man be? We'll find out in our main event tonight! New Year's Spectacular ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH Lone Star Gunslingers vs. Heavenly Rockers NEXT! Edited January 4, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! VS. “Thriller” hits and the fans rise from their seats. Males everywhere breathe a sigh of relief as Melody has ditched the pink jacket from earlier in favor of a tied flannel top and short shorts. BUFFER Coming down the aisle, the challengers, accompanied by everybody’s favorite gal pal MELODY NERDLY...from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, Baron Windels and the "Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan... THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” All smiles, and not forced WWE baby face smiles but real genuine ones, Melody and the guys slap hands on their way ringside. COLE Standing by right now, Maggie Nerdly with the current One & Only World tag team champions, the Heavenly Rockers. We cut to Mags at our backstage interview position, a painted backdrop of the NYS logo surrounded by fireworks. Ever intense, Logan paces uncontrollably while Synth is the epitome of calm, shining the tag belt draped over his shoulder for possibly the final time. Meanwhile, Holly-Wood watches intently as Colonel Abdullah does a few curls with sister Melody’s stolen Angle Award. MAGGIE Heavenly Rockers, final thoughts heading into your title defense against the Lone Star Gunslingers. LOGAN The moment is finally upon us. A moment Melody Nerdly and her Lone Star Gunslingers aren’t soon going to forget. You’ve been a worthy adversary, Gunslingers, but it’s time to put you back in your place. It’s time to sink or swim. And I’d bet the house on you sinking! SYNTH (checking Maggie out) Damn, girl, if you didn’t have poor taste picking boyfriends the Synthmeister would take you behind the camera and serenade you with his dick. MAGGIE SYNTH But let moi put some ice cream on that cake the L-Mann served up. This fling with Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels has been fun, tru dat, like stealing candy from a baby. Now these suckas are makin’ noise about taking our gold. Ain’t gonna happen. Not against the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of ALL-TIME! We’ve reached iconic status, thanks in large part to the greatest promoter on the face of this earth, Colonel Abdullah Nerdly, Angle Award winner for Manager of the Year. The Colonel receives a round of applause, a humbling experience as he bows in gratitude. MAGGIE HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT! SYNTH People get laid to our music. And you’re gonna be getting laid tonight, Gunslingers. Laid out! The Heavenly Rockers exit the screen and seconds after we cut back inside the area they appear live onstage. BUFFER And now, ladies and gentlemen, the champions. COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents in association with HOLLY-WOOD the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time and the One & Only tag team champions of the woooorld... THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Synth and Logan mess with the crowd, swiping at signs and poking fun at women they deem unattractive as Abdullah flaunts “his“ Angle Award at Melody. COLE The time for talking is over. We’re only a matter of moments from getting this One & Only World tag team title match started. COACH Both teams sounded very confident in their interviews. The champions always have the advantage going into a title defense, but in a high-profile match as this one I think you also have to factor in experience. Synth and Logan have been here before, whereas it’s the first time the Lone Star Gunslingers have competed in a match of this magnitude. With the pre-match festivities now concluded, Synth and Jock Mulligan step onto the apron and the bell is rung. * DINGDINGDING * The crowd buzzes in anticipation as Logan Usher Mann and Baron Windels prepare to lockup, but Logan decides to pull away at the very last second to discuss strategy with his entourage in the corner. “BOO!” COLE Fans not very appreciative of the tactic being employed. They want to see these men go at it already. COACH Why? As champion Logan has every right in the world to dictate the pace. He can start now or in 5 minutes. We have a 60 minute time limit for this one. Logan signals to referee Earl Hebner that he’s ready to hook ‘em up. Upon making contact Mann drives the knee into the midsection and rocks the world of Baron Windels with sharp left jabs. After grabbing a handful of hair Logan rams the big Texan into the top turnbuckle and works him over in the corner along with Synth, but the Gunslinger fights out and a pier-six brawl erupts with all 4 men trading blows in the center of the ring! “YEAH!” Jock and Baron get the best of it and fire the Heavenly Rockers into the ropes, decking them with a pair of back elbows. Logan rolls out as Synth is whipped back across and eats a DOUBLE BIG BOOT (Lollerskates)! Despite there being no tag, Earl Hebner allows the match to continue with Synth as the legal man. And the Synthmeister has whatever’s left of his brain scrambled by Cowboy Bebop elbows. Whipped into the corner Synth gets the knee up as Baron charges in, then heads to the middle rope…but Windels pops up and catches Synth mid-flight and crushes him against the turnbuckles in the Lone Star Gunslingers’ corner! COLE The challengers in full control of this one as a tag is made. Belly-to-belly suplex leaves Synth flat on his back and Melody declaring “Pwnage!” ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock introduces Synth to the turnbuckle and then mounts him in the corner, fist cocked. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Synth stumbles out mid-ring as the Texas Twister picks up a head of steam and connects with a BANDIT KICK! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! “BOO!” Logan makes the save and is rewarded with a big right hand from Baron Windels! “YEAH!” COACH Talk about a trigger-happy Gunslinger. That was uncalled for, Cole. Baron had no right doing what he did. The Gunslingers tag and they both level Synth with the Arkansas Toothpick! COLE Double flying shoulder block knocks the Synthmeister off his feet. This could be it. Are we seconds away from new champions? ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Irish whip, but Synth reverses and Logan pulls down the top rope as Baron rumbles forward, causing him to tumble out to the floor! MELODY Looking to extract a measure of revenge from their run-in minutes earlier, Logan whips Baron hard into the guardrail as Synth converses with the official, then drops him face-first on the steel steps. COACH Wham, right down on his surgically repaired nose, Cole. I bet he regrets his decision not to wear the mask now. Logan replaces Synth as the legal man and the one to distract the ref while Holly-Wood kicks Baron while he’s down. As if that wasn’t insulting enough, the Gunslinger suffers the indignity of having Colonel Abdullah wave Melody’s Angle Award in his face. COLE Somebody needs to slap the taste out of that little pipsqueak’s mouth. What a miserable human being he is. Having gone back to their corner, the Colonel and Holly watch along with the thousands in attendance and the millions watching at home as Logan delivers a DOUBLE AXE HANDLE SMASH FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR! “BOO!” Logan takes a bow following the move and hears it from the crowd. After tossing Baron inside he climbs to the top and performs his angel wings pose before leaping off, a costly mistake as Baron moves out of the way and makes the tag! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH The lights were on but nobody was home, Cole. Melody fires her imaginary pistols as the Texas Twister devastates Logan with heavy rights, and then whips him into the ropes, telling the Macho MACHO Mann to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS on the rebound! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock scoops Logan over his shoulder for the Texas Prayer Book running power slam, but SYNTH CLIPS THE KNEE AND LOGAN FALLS ON TOP!! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! COLE Oh, my! The Heavenly Rockers were a half-a-count away from retaining the titles. Logan tags in the fresh man and Synth enters a house afire, stomping Mulligan hard in the chest before attempting to CHOKE the life out of him, coming dangerously close to surpassing the allotted 5 seconds he has to break or face disqualification. Holly distracts the attention of Earl Hebner as the Heavenly Rockers double-team Jock in the corner. Even the Colonel gets in on the act, jabbing the Angle Award into the ribcage while Mulligan is choked with the tag rope. “BOO!” COACH That’s what good teamwork is all about, Mikey. COLE What, cheating? Haven’t we forgotten there is no honor among thieves? COACH Like we’ve forgotten a family that plays together stays together? Bionic elbow finds its mark and, following a glance over at Baron Windels, the Macho MACHO Mann sets Jock for a piledriver…but the Texas Twister COUNTERS with a back drop! “YEAH!” The Heavenly Rockers quell a potential rally as Synth accepts the tag and snaps Jock over with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Mulligan’s then slammed near the corner and drilled with a MIDDLE ROPE ELBOW DROP! ONE... TWO... SAVE BY BARON! An illegal switch is made while the referee escorts Baron to his corner, and Logan attempts to capitalize with a vertical suplex…but Jock floats over and nails the Macho MACHO Mann with a DISCUS PUNCH! “YEAH!” Unfortunately for the Gunslingers and their supporters, the beating Jock received took a lot out of him and he’s unable to make the cover. *clap*clap**clap*clap* COLE The tag titles at stake both men are down as Melody Nerdly gets the crowd involved from ringside. COACH At this point it can go either way, Cole. It’s going to come down to who can make the tag first. COLE I’d agree with that. Jock especially needs to tag out. He’s taken the brunt of the punishment. With Logan still reeling from the blow to the head, it’s up to Synth to prevent the tag. He enters the squared circle as Jock reaches his feet and plants the knee into the spine of the back…but the momentum sends Mulligan falling towards his corner, allowing him and Baron to TAG! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” SYNTH Baron staggers the Synthmeister with a combination of Texas sized right hands and Cowboy Bebop elbows, followed by repeated scoop slams for both Heavenly Rockers. DOUBLE COCONUT takes Synth out of the picture for the time being as Baron whips Logan into the ropes for his signature MYSPACE COMEBACK! COLE This is it. New champions! Windels drops the big leg for good measure and covers. ONE… TWO… SAVE BY SYNTH! “YEAH!” The roar isn’t for Synth but Jock Mulligan, who flies into view, wiping out the Synthmeister with a HIGH CROSS BODY PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER BLOCK! COACH It’s coming down to the wire now, Cole. At this pace it can’t be long until somebody is pinned. COLE Both teams giving it their all to be the One & Only World tag team champions. Baron works Logan over in the corner as Jock handles Synth. The momentum shifts back in favor of the Heavenly Rockers after Synth ducks a tornado punch and dumps Jock out to the floor, enabling him and Logan to double up on Baron. Irish whip, but Baron dodges a double clothesline and the Heavenly Rockers are tripped up by Jock on the rebound, opening the door for a Baron Windels RUNNING BULLDOG!! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Colonel Abdullah yanks Baron outside. “BOO!” The black sheep of the Nerdly family clutches his sister’s stolen Angle Award as he dares Baron to make a move. Amazingly, the 6’7” Texan backs down. COACH I knew the Heavenly Rockers owned the Lone Star Gunslingers, but I didn’t know the Colonel did, too. His confidence at an all-time high, Abdullah experiences a reality check when he’s spun around and floored by a forearm smash from Melody! “YEAH!” The crowd goes wild as Melody reclaims her Manager of the Year award. As she and Baron high-five Holly slides in a pair of BRASS KNUCKLES to Logan, which goes unseen by referee Earl Hebner who‘s appropriately out of position. COLE Watch out, Baron! * BOOM * Logan cold-cocks Baron with a WICKED LEFT HOOK! COLE Not like this. Please don’t let it end like this. COACH Here’s the cover. ONE... TWO... THREE! ABDULLAH (extending arms to heavens) NO, KICKOUT!! ABDULLAH “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH How the hell did he kick out from that?! COLE I don’t know, but the Gunslingers are still alive. Standing over his fallen rival, Logan twirls the FINGER OF DOOM~! COLE Uh-oh. We know what that means. The end may be near. COACH The end isn’t near, it’s here. Percussion DDT coming up. Lost in the mayhem, Synth and Jock, who leave each other wasted following a suplex on the arena floor. Inside, Logan hooks the head…but Baron ducks under and brings the Macho MACHO Mann down with a BACKSLIDE! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH No way! No freaking way! COLE They did it! They did it! New champions! LOGAN Jaws drop (Abdullah and Holly) and tears begin to shed (Melody) as Earl Hebner awards the tag belts to Baron Windels. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match and NEW… COLE All right, yeah! Melody and Jock mob Baron. BUFFER …tag team champions of the world… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Holly and Abdullah help Synth backstage as Logan chases after Earl Hebner, berating the senior official for reasons unknown. The new champs hand Melody the tag titles and hoist her on their shoulders. COLE Jock and Baron exercised the demon tonight, finally overcoming the one obstacle that’s always stood in their path to become the One & Only World tag team champions. What a great 24 hours it’s been for them and Melody, who took home the Angle Award for Manager of the Year last night. COACH And she’ll be able to take it home with her tonight after getting it back from Abdullah. It’s not the outcome I wanted to see, but I gotta give the Gunslingers their due. They fought hard. COLE The same can be said for the former champions, Synth and Logan. Back and forth they went and it easily could’ve gone either way. Your new tag team champions, the Lone Star Gunslingers! New Year's Spectacular FREAK OUT, FREAK OUT! Anglepalooza Control Center NEXT! Edited January 4, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) RetroPalooza Courtesy: OAOAST Home Entertainment Anglepalooza May 3, 2002 Caboose bounces off the ropes and pulls of The SPACEFLYINGTIGERDROP~! onto AlfDogg! FINAL TWO: TheSoleSurvivor & AngleSault AS smiles as he watches Caboose flatten AD! AS turns around and gets nailed with the ClothesLineOf AlmostCertainDoom~! AS goes over the top rope and lands on the apron! AS pulls himself up and looks completely out of it! TSS nails AS with a TopRopeClothesline knocking AS off the apron and out of the Battle Royal! WINNER: TheSoleSurvivor Fink-'The winner of the match and going to AngleSlam to challenge for the OAOAST HeavyWeight Championship, THE SOLE SURVIVOR!' JR-'By God he did, it, I don't know how, but he did it!'. ANGLEPALOOZA CONTROL CENTER OOOOOOH YEEEEAAH! Still alive and still employed is the Macho Man Randy Savage. Uh-huh, yeah. Dig it?!? And on Sunday night, January 27th you can dig Anglepalooza live exclusively on pay-per-view from Atlanta, Georgia. ONE WORLD, ONE…AND ONLY…WORLD CHAMPION Title Unification Bout * Stephen Joseph (World Champion) vs. “After Hours” Felix Strutter (International Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) As the man in charge, OAOAST head honcho Anglesault announced at the top of the program, a title unification match featuring World Champion Stephen Joseph, International Champion “After Hours” Felix Strutter and the winner of the 20 man battle royal earlier tonight Colombian Heat has been signed to crown an undisputed OAOAST Champion. BUT WILL STEPHEN JOSEPH EVEN BE THE WORLD CHAMPION?! He’s still gotta defend his title later tonight against Tha Puerto Rican and Mad Cappa! THE LETHAL RUMBLE Awaiting whomever’s the champion following Anglepalooza is the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble for a date at AngleMania VII. Here now is one of the lucky hopefuls, the first official signup in the 2008 Lethal Rumble, the “Billion Dollar Heir” Theodore Moneymaker. We got to Teddy in front of a grey backdrop with CPA by his side. MONEYMAKER 30 men, 1 title shot. That’s the Lethal Rumble in a nutshell. It’s friend vs. friend and foe vs. foe, but unlike tonight, I'll know what to expect when this diamond in the rough is surrounded by 29 nickel-and-dimers. CPA You have nothing to worry about, boss. But the 29 other men in the Rumble need to be afraid. Very afraid of the big, bad black man. MONEYMAKER HAHAHA! Let that be a warning to all the commoners thinking about entering the Rumble. A city such as Los Angeles, where this year’s AngleMania is being held, deserves a big name in the main event and there’s no bigger name in business or wrestling than Theodore Moneymaker. And you can take THAT to the bank! MWUAHAHAHAHA!! Back to the Macho Man in the control center. SAVAGE Be sure to stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more names and matches that'll be announced in the coming weeks. The road to AngleMania begins Sunday night, January 27th live exclusively on pay-per-view. Don't wait. Order today! Call your cable or satellite operator and order Anglepalooza right now! OOOOOOH YEEEEAAH!! Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, host to the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Series and for a short time the site of WrestleMania. But on Sunday night, March 30, 2008, it will be host to the biggest spectacle in all of e-fed entertainment when the One & Only AngleSault Thread presents... ANGLEMANIA VII An event so big not even the threat of terrorism can stop it! Edited January 4, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) LIVE! Monterrey, Mexico BUFFER The following contest is a Quarter Final Match in the Los Infernales Conference of the 2008 Anderson Cup, scheduled for one fall! The red carpet has been rolled out in Monterrey but the welcome might not last long for The Beverly Hills Blonds. With "Call Me" by Blondie playing away in the background, out struts Simon Singleton with his trusty Siclopse camera and trusty human tripod, Molly Nerdly. And behind him, Ned Blanchard, showing typical American cultural awareness by wearing a Stars and Stripes patterned PONCHO over his fancy ring jacket! Waving away with his minature American flag, Ned seems blissfully ignorant to the hatred directed at him or the likelihood of a riot starting up. "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime CALL ME! (call me)"] BUFFER Introducing team number one. Being led to the ring by MOLLY NERDLY... at a total combined weight of four hundred and sixty pounds. They are the number four seeds in the Los Infernales Conference, and former three time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions! Representing THE ENTERPRISE... "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVEEEERRRRLLLYYY HHHIIIIIILLLSSS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Simon and Ned make their way into the ring, we are taken across the arena to where Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are seated. SCHIAVONE Warm welcome back from Jesse Ventura and myself, from Monterrey Mexico! The seedings have thrown up quite a match to kick off the Los Infernales Conference tonight, Jesse. VENTURA No doubt about it Schiavone, we've got two highly experienced teams in action here, both former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. Infact if I remember correctly, it was under two different incarnations that these two teams traded that World Tag Title... The New, New Midnight Express losing to The Sk8ter Boiz in one of the biggest upsets in OAOAST memory. SCHIAVONE Almost three years ago, that's correct. A lot of time has passed and both The Beverly Hills Blonds and The Christ Air Express have changed quite a bit since then. But I'm sure that history between the four hasn't been forgotten. As the atmosphere in the arena reaches fever pitch, mostly due to Blanchard's offensive attire, The Blonds go through a last minute strategy session. Molly meanwhile goes through some last minute adjustments to the Siclopse, all noted down in her ledger. Yes, she brought a ledger to the ring. She's an intern. .:CUE: "Like The Angels", Rise Against:. The fresh new music brings out the fresh new MARV and MEL, the re-invented Christ Air Express bursting out onto the stage through a cloud of 'heavenly' white smoke. The high energy brothers hit a leaping high-five before they march to the ring, tagging hands with the Mexican fans on their way. BUFFER And, their opponents hail from Edmonton, Alberta Canada... total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds. They are the number five seeds in the Los Infernales Conference and former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE As The Christ Air Express make their way to the ring, let's hear these pre-recorded comments made just before we came on the air... OAOAST A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. There, MARV and MEL stand in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop. MEL Alright, the waiting is almost over. Anderson Cup, 2008, this is it 'bro. MARV Our first Anderson Cup as The Christ Air Express and this is what we've been working towards. Four matches away from stepping out and making our statement. First up, tonight, it's The Beverly Hills Blonds. Kinda ironic. The more things change, the more they stay the same I guess. Ned and Simon, I know that's true of you. You're still the same arrogant jerkoffs you've always been. But we're not the MARV and MEL you're used to dealing with. You're not fighting the same Nerdly brothers. Tonight, you're fighting Divine Intervention. MEL That's right, it's not just about the tights or the music, it's about a change. A change for the better. And tonight we've got all we need to take you out of the Anderson Cup! NEW YEARS SPECTACULAR~! We cut back to live action as MARV and MEL work the Mexican crowd. Huddled on the outside, The Blonds confer with Molly Nerdly, drawing on her vast knowledge of the professional wrestling business no doubt. SCHIAVONE Neither of these teams bringing much in the way of momentum into this match. The Christ Air Express went down to the makeshift team of Christian Wright and Alix Maria Spezia last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!, while The Beverly Hills Blonds were also beaten, by no lesser team than Zack Malibu and Bohemoth. Not great preparation for either duo. VENTURA No but I think we can chalk both of those results off right now and say they shouldn't be a factor. Tonight's the night it counts. It's win or go home, simple as that! *DINGDINGDING!* With the opening bell gone, MARV and MEL high-five. It's MEL to start, jumping about on the balls of his feet impatiently while The Beverly Hills Blonds stall for time on the outside devising their gameplan. Eventually the smiling Blonds decide on Simon Singleton to start, rolling into the ring and shooing MEL back while he fixes his kneepads. SCHIAVONE Neither team had a great night last Thursday as we said. It certainly doesn't look to have dampened The Beverly Hills Blonds' spirits though. Not judging by the grin on Singleton's face as he locks up with MEL. Wringing out the arm, Simon brings MEL down to one knee and nods his head confidently, cheered on by his number one (potentially, only) fan Molly Nerdly from ringside. MEL manages to push up and roll through, breaking contact on the wrist. A dropkick attempt is swatted away by Singleton though, quickly trapping MEL in a front facelock as he lands empty-handed. VENTURA That's the battle The Blonds have to win. Smarts against speed. Simon manoeuveres around the ring, trying to line up the perfect camera shot of his fundamental side headlock. Just as Melody gives him the a-okay from behind the lens, MEL finds a way out of the facelock with an arm wringer of his own. MEL then pulls Simon over with an armdrag, setting him up for the dropki... ...no! Simon shrugs away the dropkick again and again applies the front facelock. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Applause from Ned and Melody back B.O.S.S up as he continues to boss MEL with the facelock. So confident is Ned that he turns out to the crowd in search of more notches to his proverbial headboard. Finding no buenos notches (eh... eh...) however, he grumpily turns back to the action as Simon has worn MEL down to one knee. Satisfied that he's softened up enough, Simon pulls MEL back upright and with a swing of the hips, tries to execute a Swinging Neckbreaker. However, MEL is not as softened up as he thought, able to swing through with the move and pull down Simon in an inside cradle... 1... 2... No! First up, Simon lunges for the facelock one more time. MEL evades the lunge though, waiting for Simon to turn around and connecting on the dropkick this time! A second dropkick puts Simon down again! And a third... is a fake out, Simon's sidestep for nought as he gets jarred with an inverted atomic drop. Off the ropes comes MEL, knocking Singleton down with a flying forearm on the rebound and giving the Monterrey crowd something to cheer about finally. SCHIAVONE MEL was prepared for that swinging neckbreaker and suddenly, the tide has changed. VENTURA And Ned, not eyeing up the senoritas right at the moment! It's MEL's turn to grab the front facelock now, reaching out a foot for MARV to tag himself in. Off the top he comes with a quick axehandle to the ribs before controlling Simon with an arm wringer. Ned reaches out as far as the tag rope will allow him, Simon making a big lunge for the tag... but missing and hitting the mat as MARV pulls back on the wrist. MARV wrings out the arm again and leaves Simon hurting. But The Video Voyeur has an idea, as we can tell by the fact he taps his head. Simon gets his feet and after some prepatory squats, he rolls through... ...but MARV rolls through with him and maintains the wristlock, to Simon's despair! SCHIAVONE There's some smarts from MARV, Jess. By the arm, MARV sends Singleton into a neutral corner with an irish whip. MARV gets a full run-up and dives at Simon, through the ropes with his body, the trailing arm clotheslining The Video Voyeur across the chest! SCHIAVONE Through the eye of the needle goes MARV, great timing and technique to execute that. VENTURA And now he's going up top. Could be a risk, so early in the match! Seeing his partner staggering around aimlessly and MARV poised to fly, Ned realises he has to help out and runs down the length of the apron to cut the Christ Airer off. MARV sees him coming though and leaps early, catching Ned with a Missile Dropkick that knocks him off the apron and to the arena floor! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Having a relatively safe landing, MARV quickly calls MEL into the ring. The brothers quickly send off Simon with a double irish whip, taking him over with a double hiptoss. MARV sits Simon up for MEL, who dives into him from behind with a basement dropkick. MARV then follows it up coming off the ropes in front with a basement crossbody block, reaching back for the leg... 1... 2... No! Only just reaching the apron, MEL is legally tagged in by MARV and The Christ Air Express set up another double-team. Ned again tries to help out his partner, but ends up drawing over referee Mark Hebner. VENTURA Now, what the hell is Ned doing wrong!? Does this idiot referee think he's seeing double instead of twins, there's two men in the ring and he's going after Ned!? SCHIAVONE Well, The Christ Air Express made a tag, Ned didn't. MARV and MEL have a count of five... VENTURA One, two, three, four, five, six, seve... SCHIAVONE But Ned is distracting the referee Jesse. He's only got one pair of eyes. Irish whip sets up a boot from MARV. MEL hits a kneelift, into a neckbreaker from MARV. MEL then stacks up Simon with a jacknife pin, waiting on the out of position referee... 1... 2... Ned with the save. VENTURA I suppose the referee's going to lecture Ned for that too. Sure enough he does... ...but this time, it plays to The Blonds advantage, as Simon manages to catch MEL with a LOWBLOW as he's being pulled to his feet. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Despite the protests of MARV, referee Hebner didn't see the lowblow and can't call what he can't see. He does see the tag, finally bringing Ned Blanchard into the match for the first time. SCHIAVONE Ned, not making many friends south of the border tonight. VENTURA That's not the story I hear. Scooping MEL up, Ned drops him with a simple backbreaker and covers... 1... 2... No! MARV gets drawn into the ring by a stray wad of spit from The Handsome Hustler and credit where it's due, the referee does his job again to hold MARV from getting into the match. Of course, that allows The Blonds to bend the rules a little, Simon holding MEL from the outside while Ned stomps him in what should be a neutral corner. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As The Blonds continue to go to work, MARV gets the hint and leaves the ring. He then heads for The Blonds' corner, while they continue to do their dirty work, timing a little off as they're spotted by the referee. Simon and Melody get into it with referee Hebner, not noticing that behind them, MARV has made off with The Beverly Hills Blonds' trusty clapboard! VENTURA Now hang on just a minute! SCHIAVONE Oh, this is a great move from MARV! One less thing to worry about in this match with that clapboard gone! VENTURA That is personal property of The Enterprise, he's got no right taking that! SCHIAVONE After the amount of times we've seen Ned and Simon illegally put that to use in their matches, why not? What do they even need a clapboard at ringside during a match for anyway? Incase a film suddenly breaks out? VENTURA Now don't you get smart with me Schiavone! Simon returns to his corner, clueless to the 'theft' of his treasured clipboard. Meanwhile, Ned looks to make it all a mute point as he scoops and slams MEL in the middle of the ring. Tag is made and Simon heads to the top, Ned loading him up ready for the ROCKET LAUNCHE... ...KNEES UP!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Holding his head in his hands, Ned makes a move to help out Simon, only to realise he's not the legal man and be sent back to his corner. SCHIAVONE The Christ Air Express had the Rocket Launcher scouted as well, I think they must have been watching their Best Of Blonds DVD on the flight over! VENTURA Sure looks like they've done something. Ned clings onto the tagrope and wills Simon to get over, to tag out. Luckily Simon had taken a minute or so to freshen up before that and is able to get back over to make the tag, quickly enough for Blanchard to cut off the tag on the other side. Dragging MEL up by the hair, Ned lays in with a right hand. And another. A quick kick to the ribs then knocks MEL down, Ned displaying his oft-forgotten black belt in karate. BLANCHARD OVER! No reaction. BLANCHARD Oh, that's right... uh... EL OVER-O! Still little reaction, so Ned makes the universal signal that it's OVAH~! and picks MEL up. On goes the front facelock, Ned moving closer to the ropes and lifting up MEL... ...but MEL pushes his feet off the top rope, not as Ned had expected... ...AND COUNTERS WITH A DDT VARIATION!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Oh wow, right on his head! That looked ugly! SCHIAVONE Another patented Beverly Hills Blond move is countered and now, can the Christ Air Express make that tag? Woozy, Ned waves his hand aimlessly, hoping it'll somehow connect with Simon's. It's only when he gets his senses about him that he realises he's heading for the wrong corner and makes a quick u-turn. MEL is close also, the crowd sensing the tag on both sides... ...getting it from The Blonds... ...but NOT from The Express! Simon drags MEL away from the tag, agonisingly close. Taking a potshot at MARV, Simon then watches with a smile as the referee keeps him at bay, allowing Simon to call to the outside. And again. Still no sign of Melody though, as she frantically routes around ringside for the missing clapboard!! Her head bobs up from under the apron and with a shrug she gives Simon the bad news... and then points behind Simon, as her brother gets to his feet. Simon, panicking by now, takes a wild swing which is ducked and converted into a Half Nelson Facebuster by MEL, planting B.O.S.S face first into the canvas!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE I know ever since last week, The Blonds have been pretty vocal about how pleased they were with their Anderson Cup chances. They felt they got dealt a pretty good hand with the seedings. I wonder if they still feel so pleased right now. VENTURA There's no easy rides in the Anderson Cup, that's for sure. Even so, I didn't expect MARV and MEL to fare so well as they are. MEL rolls over and finds himself fortuitously in his own corner, allowing him to reach up and MAKE THE TAG! In comes MARV, first targetting Ned Blanchard and knocking him down with a forearm. Another running forearm puts down Ned, before Simon staggers up and into the same fate. Ducking out of the ring, MARV quickly heads to the top and waits for The Blonds to pick themselves up. High Crossbody Block... ducked by Ned... but not by Simon!! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Ned makes a save a second too late, not the disaster it could have been. He clubs away on the back of MARV until MEL comes over to weigh into the battle. Blanchard and MEL exchange blows in one corner, while MARV pulls up Singleton and sets him up for the Jawjacker! A quick knee to the gut cuts that off though, Simon pulling MARV into a standing headscissors and pulling him off the canvas. VENTURA Piledriver! CONNECTS! MARV gets dropped, right on his head! SCHIAVONE That move, illegal in Mexico, but I guess not in the Anderson Cup! Some of the crowd boo for that very reason, while Simon turns MARV over and drapes across him... 1... 2... SHOULDER UP!! VENTURA MARV able to kick out, but that energy he came in with got snuffed out the moment his head hit the mat. It's advantage Blonds again now. Simon drags MARV off the mat, checking Ned and MEL are out of the way before sending him off with an irish whip. A duck of the head comes too early though, MARV over top with a sunset flip... 1... 2... NO!! Rolling through, Simon grabs the legs, trying to apply a Boston Crab. MARV gets his feet tucked in though and pushes off, causing Simon to crash back into the turnbuckles. The back of Singleton's head strikes the bottom turnbuckle and down he goes, MARV rolling backwards and looking to follow up... ...but getting spun around by Ned and STUN GUNNED before he knows what's happening! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV stays hung over the top rope as Ned drops to a knee, trying to wake up Simon. In the midst of all this however, MARV is pulled off the ropes and rolled out of the ring. Not by opposition, but by his own partner. Once MARV is out of the ring, MEL quickly lies down in his brother's place near the ropes. VENTURA Hey... did you see that? SCHIAVONE I did, I think The Christ Air Express just pulled a switch! Oblivious to this are Ned and Simon, with the latter having helped his partner back up and checking he's okay. Assuming that 'MARV' has fallen off the ropes, Ned picks him back up and sets him over the ropes again, unaware that it's actually MEL that he's bringing across the ropes. Setting the ankles over his shoulders, Ned waves Simon to the ropes for the patented NNMX/BHB double-team. However, the moment Simon sets off, MEL suddenly pulls forward on the ropes, keeping his feet locked around Ned's head and bringing him for the ride with a headscissors to the floor!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE There goes ANOTHER move out of the playbook. VENTURA This isn't right Schiavone, that's the illegal Nerdly brother in there! Unable to put on the brakes, Simon runs into MEL as he skins the cat back inside. MEL manages to hook up Simon for a headscissors as well, pushing off the top rope... and adjusting in mid-air, pulling down Simon with a modified victory roll... 1... 2... 3!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA You've gotta be kidding me!! *DINGDINGDING!* "Like The Angels hits again and MEL scoots out of the ring, embraced by MARV on the floor, the crowd going wild... all of this before Simon Singleton can even comprehend what just happened! Sitting up in the middle of the ring, the wide-eyed Video Voyeur holds his head in his hands BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... advancing in the 2008 Anderson Cup... THE CHRIST AIR EEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXPPPRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The CAE jump for joy in the aisleway, while Simon still tries to come to terms with what just happened. Even the consolation of Melody Nerdly's arm around him doesn't cheer him up, Simon cursing the fact that her mother was capable of giving birth to identical twins... amongst about 40 others. Ned too joins in the shocked reaction, as The Christ Air Express look to escape back over the border with the victory they came for. VENTURA As a proud member of the Anderson Cup committee, I cannot believe what just took place. Cheating, theft, illegal switches. Every dirty trick in the book it took to put The Beverly Hills Blonds out of the Anderson Cup! I can't believe that! SCHIAVONE The Blonds, they've been tricked before by the ol' switcharoo trick. Remember Los Diablos? And now, The Christ Air Express pull the wool over the eyes of Ned and Simon as well! MARV and MEL continue to celebrate, leaving the poor Blonds distraught in the centre of the ring. VENTURA Those two might have snatched the win tonight, but I doubt we've heard the last of this Schiavone! I highly doubt it! SCHIAVONE Fans, don't you dare go away. Our main event is next! The OAOAST Event Tracker is Brought To You By Gillette-The Best a Man Can Get January 10, 2008 - San Antonio, TX (SOLD OUT) January 17, 2008 - Halifax, Nova Scotia (LIMITED TICKETS AVAILABLE) January 24, 2008 - Calgary, Alberta (SOLD OUT) January 27, 2008 (AnglePalooza) - Atlanta, GA (SRO) January 31, 2008 - Cleveland, OH (SOLD OUT) Edited January 4, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) The view cuts to a taped image of Krista Isadora Duncan and her bottle of Miller Lite, reclining poolside at her luxurious Beverly Hills mansion, wearing sunglasses, a white polo shirt and a pair of stone washed jeans. As she speaks various highlights from her entertainment and OAOAST ventures play on screen. KRISTA Hey, I'm Krista Isadora Duncan, twenty million fitness videos sold, ten percent of that money gone to my agent Will Burrows who used two percent of it to become my agent Wilma Burrows, and five percent to my lawyer after that whole messy pushing the sales girl at Victoria's Secret down the escalators. When I wear the no fat chicks shirt, I'm living the no fat chicks shirt, biggie smalls. And then five percent of that money right to the bride of Frankenstein, my mother. "Oh Krista, my eldest daughter, my favorite daughter, I lugged you, the bane on my once girlish figure, in my womb for nine months, laid there for three minutes thinking about Frank Sinatra while I was violated by your greasy misanthropic money whore of a jew father just to conceive you, and the most you can get me for Hannukah is a twenty five dollar borders gift certificate?" Krista waves her hand in disgust at the memory of her mother's complaining. KRISTA Bottom line, I'm a celebrity! But even we celebs get the blues. And I'm not just talking about when I can't get a table at the Ivy. Because then I just whip out the dyke-dar....beep beep beep beep DING DING DING danger will robinson, danger, locate the lez at the resturant with the most power, flip the hair, bat the eyes, do the giggle, and its prime outdoor seating at the casa de la ivy, and at the casa de la Krista's getting some tonight. But these blues come from the loss of my girlfriend and my best friend of twelve years, Alix Maria Spezia. To try and make things better I hid away in my house, kicked on a Julia Roberts marathon, and took a lot of vitamins. Well if you eat a banana with the prozac and oxycontins you can call them vitamins. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. As the suicide hotline counselor told me its time to get my head out of the dumps and my legs in the air. I have to stop confusing the number for 1-866-SEX-WILD with the suicide prevention number. So here I am looking for someone to give me that look of love, PRESENTS ~THE LOOK OF LOVE~ Starring: Krista Isadora Duncan Terry Taylor AND THESE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN CORI Hi I'm Cori, or to simplify it for today's educationally-deprived youth. How about...Lil' Cor. I've just gotten tired of dating women who think knowing who the last guy Hillary Duff slept with, Mike Comrie, is more important then how many people got killed in today's Gaza raid, nine. I want someone who's beautiful, and smart. Like Krista. Hopefully she wants me. VIRGINA I've always loved Krista! I used to be a whale sized one hundred pounds. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without crying, I used to ask god why he made me so fat, and no one but guys and girls who drove lame cars like BMW's and Cadillacs would talk to me. My self esteem was in the gutter! Then I found fitness queen Krista Isadora Duncan. I asked her for the name of a good lipo doctor, and she gave me one and now look at me! Eighty five pounds and getting lower by the day! I've been in love with Krista ever since. MONTANA NERDLY (another Nerdly girl who's name we can get mixed up!) "I'm not worried about his competition. The only way I could probably lose is if the earth spread apart and swallowed me whole. Even then I expect Krista to drive herself all the way to he golden gate bridge, and cast her body to blue waters bellow, and her soul to the white clouds above so that she could truly spend eternity and beyond with me. That's how confident I am of our attraction." TORI "I think most of the women on this show are just here to be on TV. Virgina isn't even a lesbian! How do I know? Because I was the maid of honor at her wedding. To my father. I'm genuine, I want to be with Krista, because I love her, and if she gives me a second of her time, she'll love me back. CLAUDETTE “I know for a indisputable face I'm the best choice for Krista. The others should just pack their bags and head back to the trailer park and section eights, they're using up time my boo could be using with me.” MADISON NERDLY "Not only is my sister Mindy losing her hair prematurely, she's also losing her freaking mind. She thinks she's the girl to beat on this show. I'd bet she'd win if this show was called look of a wrinkled forty five year old divorcee with three kids, no alimony, and in desperate need of cash to pay off the home thats getting foreclosed on." MINDY NERDLY "I can't believe Madison bothered showing up for this. Girls don't make passes at girls who wear glasses and girls don't make passes at girls with fat asses. Sorry, Madison but you're two strikes away from being eliminated before the show starts." SHYANNE WALLACE "I didn't come here to lose, I came so I could tell my parole officer I gots me a job. So you ain't gotta worry about how I'm taking care of my kids. If I wanna slap those dookie heads all the way to the next great star line boat back to Africa, I'ma do it, 'cause I gots me a job. And I'ma get me a dime bitch with Washingtons, Lincolns, Jacksons, Bushes, Coolidges, Regans, Rosevelts, Clevelands, thats right a bitch so rich she got presidents that even on money! Now how ya'll “Shyanne is a blight on the community.” neighborhood watch type suckas gonna come at me. Neighborhood watch me leave ya'll ass in the projects while I'm living b-i-g in Beverly Hills." MARIANNE NERDLY “If Krista is wowed or impressed or bowled over by Montana, Mindy, Madison or any of the other non Nerdly girls then she really overestimates what lies beneath two hours worth of cosmetics. I'm the one she needs to pick because I'm a lifetime of magic. A relationship with any of the others is gonna last as long as Gweneth Paltrow's part in Pootietang.” We cut to the spacious driveway of a posh Hollywood Hills mini mansion, where palm trees and lush greenery hang over a solid stone fence. In front of a three car garage with Spanish title roofing stands is a bleacher where the ten girls stand anxiously awaiting the star of the love. They don't have to wait much longer as Krista, holding about six shopping bags, and Terry Taylor, holding about nine more, approach the driveway from a Porsche parked out on the street. KRISTA So I said to her “Listen if you didn't want me to run over your kid, maybe you should've thought about that before I decided to drive on sixteen bottles of Heiniken. Jeez” (Krista notices the women starring at her). Damn it Terry Taylor, how many times do I have to tell you? You have a hotel room, send your hookers there! TAYLOR They aren't hookers, Krista. Its the Look Of The Love, remember? The reality show! They've been advertising it on HeldDOWN.... KRISTA Oh, honey, nobody watches that crap. TAYLOR Don't you remember.... KRISTA Terry, its four o'clock and I'm on my tenth tequila of the day, I don't remember much past my own measurements, “Fabulous-Beautiful-Outstanding.” Of course, I remember the Look Of Love. Girls, let me give you an official welcome to the Look Of Love House. Ignore the hooker comment I'm sure you're not...uh...well...communists? This is my assistant, Terry Taylor. Normally I keep him in his cage when people are around. But today's a special occasion. Basically, I'm looking for somebody to love, and to love me back with all their heart. And I am in desperate need. Not even lying. I'll be totally honest with you, my dog is getting more action then me. Granted, its with a stuffed doll of Daphne from Scooby Doo, but still. Daphne won't even return my phonecalls since she caught me cheating with Betty Ruble. The women laugh. KRISTA In order to figure who's best for me, I need a criteria for judging. So, with a nod to exploitative, sexist, and shallow television throughout history, you ladies will be judged on several categories. Personality... TAYLOR Hahahahahah! KRISTA I know, right. I almost had myself believing that one also. Personality, uh-huh, when monkeys fly out of my ass, and Dane Cook makes anyone over the age of fourteen laugh! I digress. As always. I and the rest of the judgmental and overly bitter American public will look at beauty, style how well you fit into my celebrity lifestyle... TAYLOR And how well you fit into a threesome with Shayne from the L Word! TONY TOURETTES SLUT! WHORE! TAYLOR Let's hope so! The rest of the girls with horrified expressions at Tony who has somehow gone unnoticed on the bleachers. KRISTA (shocked at hearing a man's voice) Tony Tourettes? What in the name of Krista Isadora Duncan, your lord and savoir, say amen.. WOMEN AMEN! KRISTA Are you doing here? TAYLOR He threatened a gender discrimination law suit if we wouldn't let him on the show. KRISTA Terry, the only words he knows are cunt, bitch, whore, fuck, shit, and piss. The first three being words commonly used to describe Theodore Moneymaker's mother, the fourth being what she'll do to anyone for an 8 ball of coke and twenty bucks, and the last two being what she'll swallow for thirty six grams of Colombian pure. Ah, well think of all the funny little stories my mother can spin out of this. This is grade A fodder for a bitch like her! GENEVIVE DUNCAN (off screen) My ears are burning. KRISTA (shouting in annoyance) Yeah, well, that's one of the occupational hazards of being Satan's servant, your demoness. Much to Krista's disgust and chagrin, her mother, attired in a flowing fuschia gown and huge lensed matching sunglasses trots onto screen, accompanied by her tuxedoed driver who looks like he could be CPA's brother. The women react with shock in awe as the older version of Krista strolls into the area. KRISTA What are you doing here? Usually you send your flying monkeys. Or did you come to tell me you've discovered a way to freeze dry evil so I can drink it when you're not around. GENEVIVE Just raiding your liquor cabinet, need something to wash down the brand new prescriptions of percecets. Shh don't tell the feds. Darling, do tell, what is going on around here? Children of the corn class reunion? KRISTA Its the Look Of Love! GENEVIVE And what or whom might that be, my precious little carpet muncher? KRISTA Don't call me that! Ugh! GAH! Don't you remember?! Its only been advertised on HeldDOWN every week for the past month! GENEVIVE Oh, honey, nobody watches that crap. KRISTA You helped set the whole thing up? Remember? The VH1 reality show? It was half your idea! GENEVIVE Krista, its four o'clock and I'm on my tenth tequila of the day, I don't remember much past my own measurements, “Fabulous-Beautiful-Outstanding.” Of course, I remember the Look Of Love, honey. Now why are all the hookers rug munchers? KRISTA Because...I'M A LESBIAN! GENEVIVE Oh, honey, no you're not, you're just bad with the fellas... Without warning or prompting, Genevieve loosens up the first six buttons on Krista's dress shirt to reveal more of her massive cleavage. TAYLOR (staring at Kristas boobs) You should come around more often, Miss Duncan! GENEVIVE See, honey, now you're good with the fellas! KRISTA(pulling rhinestone belts out of one the shopping bags and waving them at Terry) Hey look, belts, pick the one you wanna be strangled with! While Terry mulls his options, Krista turns to her mother. KRISTA Can you leave? GENEVIVE Funny, that's what I asked you when I was pregnant with you, and no matter how many trips to the Haitian witchdoctor I took, you just stuck around. Like a cyst. Darling, do you have any idea of how many hours I was in labor with you? KRISTA No. GENEVIVE Neither do I, I was on so much morphine and heroin in the seventies I don't remember anything beyond a little whoohoo with that Regan fellow. KRISTA You never had an affair with Ronald Regan! GENEVIVE I'm talking about Nancy, ya goof! TONY Fuck that shit, bitch, eat a muthafukkin' dick, chew on a prick and lick a million muthafukkin' cocks for seconds! Genevieve stares intently at Tony, stunned in disbelief at his vulgar language. Krista begins inching towards her mom, ready to hold her back from a violent outburst against the strange superstar. GENEVIVE Oh, honey, I like you! Krista, pick her! That's the muff diver for you! Only the best for my little carpet licker! KRISTA Have you been gargling with bong water?! Get out! Get out! Get out! GENEVIVE Fine, honey, fine. My jokes are too good for poor people anyway. Oh by the way, honey, how do you like mommy's outfit? No panty line because no panties! TAYLOR KRISTA (shaking her head) Oh, there was just no preparing for that one. Granting Krista a momentary reprieve from hell, Genevieve retreats into the house to most likely raid the liquor cabinet that has been graciously provided by VH1. KRISTA Forgive her, she has a heart condition. She doesn't have one. All the cosmetic surgery has made a her little loco she's gone to Mexico for a facelifts so many times, I bet if you wacked her head with a baseball bat, prizes would fall out. Hey, I have an idea, let's find out! Correctly sensing that Krista is actually serious, Montana speaks up to try and prevent a nasty and probably bloody situation. MONTANA Uh, what should we do while you go MLB 2K9 on your ma mere? KRISTA Oh, right, you girls. Well, back to you all, you're gorgeous, you're hot, you're sexy, when I look at you all I can think about is sex with my ex-girlfriend. But, aside from that, we're going to have a great time, I'm going to learn all about you, and I'm going to get to know every single one of you, better then maybe you know yourselves. So why don't you go inside, the neighborhood satanic cult is just finishing up sacrificing a virgin, and once they clear James Riggs off the table, we can get started! WOMEN Whoooo! The girls file off into the house, still screaming and whooing over the chance to talk with Krista. We fade out from that scene with Krista and Terry turning to each other and shaking their heads into “confessional” of Krista sitting in a room with velvet pink walls, and strange steel bars forming an unusual structure in the background. KRISTA I'm looking forward to this little adventure, I think I can truly find someone. Look at Flava Flav, He's proof that its never to late to look for love. If an odd looking shriveled up Hershey's kiss like him can find fifteen nappy headed hos to toss his salad, I gotta be able to find one girl to love me! NEXT WEEK GETTING TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU Krista gets close to the girls. And one is forced to go home NEXT WEEK The Look Of Love Edited January 5, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2008 (edited) COLE Well fans, it is now time for our main event. A Triple Threat Match between three men with A LOT of history with each other. Stephen Joseph Popick defends the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title against two of his greatest adversaries in Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa, and quite frankly, there ain’t no love lost between those two either! COACH Divide And Conquer! THAT’S what it’s all about! Popick’s Master Plan is in effect. And that Master Plan will spell doom for both PR AND Mad Cappa! COLE So much is on the line in this one! Will we begin the new year with a new World Heavyweight Champion? Who will join “After Hours” Felix Strutter and Colombian Heat in the Triple Threat Match to crown an Undisputed OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion coming up at Anglepalooza on January 27th? We are about to find out in just a few moments. The main event of the New Year’s Spectacular is about to begin! Let’s go down to Michael Buffer for the ring introductions. *DING…DING…DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the OAOAST New Year’s Spectacular 2008 main event of the evening! And it is to be contested in a Triple Threat Match with the rules being that there are no rules. Tonight, three men step into the squared circle to compete for what only one can have. Tonight, three men with a history that goes back over four years will compete for the richest prize in the industry. And tonight, three men whose lives have changed dramatically over the past two months will collide with one of those men hoping that his ‘Master Plan’ comes to fruition. And they will battle it out…for the HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP of the world. ARE YOU READY? “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Wrestling fans…ARE…YOU…RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY!? “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Then…for the thousands in attendance here at the Monterrey Arena in Monterrey, Mexico, and the millions watching around the world. Ladies and gentlemen…LLLLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Everything is on the line in this one! The World Heavyweight Title is up for grabs! *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* The opening trumpet blare brings the crowd to its collective feet. The lights go down in the arena. “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing. Red spotlights fly all over the arena while strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. The crowd chants, “GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” in tune with the beat. A single spotlight shines on the entrance. The Mad Cappa’s back is turned to the camera. Cappa starts dancing to his entrance theme, and then stops to turn around and flash his pearly whites to his adoring fans. Mad Cappa points to the fans and then begins his walk to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER Introducing first. Challenger #1. Making his way to the ring at this time. Wearing a long white shirt, baggy style loose jeans, and white tennis shoes. From Northern, Virginia. Standing 5’10” and weighing in at 183 lbs. Sidelined with a neck injury early last year, he made his shocking return to the OAOAST back on December 6, 2007 aligning himself with Stephen Joseph Popick and The Lightning Crew. However, just one week later on December 13th, he defied his boss’ orders and as a result, was kicked out of The Lightning Crew. Now on this night, he hopes to get some revenge by beating his former boss and becoming World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career in his first ever shot at the belt. Now back in the fans’ good graces, he is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Puerto Rican/Italian Champion. The master of the BUST A CAP. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the one…the only…The Mad One…THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! The Mad Cappa stops at ringside and slaps the fans’ hands there as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” continues playing. COLE This is indeed The Mad Cappa’s first ever OAOAST World Title shot! And can he strike big on his first shot at the belt? COACH This is The Mad Cappa’s first main event in how long? Three-four years? He’s forgotten about being in the limelight. He’s forgotten what it’s like to be a main event player. And all that forgetfulness is going to come back to bite him in the ass! At least his two opponents have been main eventing for months now! Where has The Mad Cappa been? Cleaning toilets? COLE He had a neck injury, Coach. COACH That’s probably code for ’cleaning toilets’! COLE Oh, will you stop!? It’s a new year. Can’t you be a little more nice!? COACH Nah. Old habits die hard. Much like Cappa’s chances at the belt tonight. COLE Enough! Cappa blows a kiss and then holds up a peace sign for his fans as he makes his way up the ring steps. He enters the ring and then climbs on the ring ropes to raise his right fist into the air. The crowd cheers loudly. Mad Cappa heads to the opposite ropes and raises his right fist into the air again, receiving more cheers. Cappa then stands in the center of the ring while a spotlight shines on him and dances some more to cheers. COLE The greatest moment in The Mad Cappa’s career came when he defeated PRL to win the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship for the first time in his career at AngleMania III almost four years ago. But can he top that moment with a World Title victory tonight on the first OAOAST event of 2008? COACH Nope, he will choke. Simple as that. Mad Cappa stops dancing and pounds his chest with his right fist in a show of love. He raises his hands in the air as the spotlight continues shining on him. COLE The world is watching! The Mad Cappa vs. Tha Puerto Rican vs. Stephen Joseph Popick for the World Heavyweight Title is happening right now on the New Year’s Spectacular! The lights go back on in the arena. Cappa bounces off the ropes to get himself warmed up for his Title Match. TMC bounces up and down in place and stares at the entrance. COLE The Mad Cappa, 27-years-old, looking to win his first OAOAST World Heavyweight Title tonight. But in order to do that, he must overcome not one, but TWO men! COACH And unlike a certain World Champion who went through FIVE men inside a Triple Steel Cage back in November and still survived, thank you very much, The Mad Cappa just ain’t up for the challenge! COLE Well, we shall see, Coach. For anything goes in a Triple Threat Match. No Disqualifications, No Countouts, and I’m sure that they’ll be No Mercy between the three men tonight! COACH I agree with you on that one, Cole! Nice play-on words there. COLE Thanks, Coach! The Mad Cappa continues staring at the entrance as “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for the next entrance. Cappa takes a deep breath. He paces back and forth. COLE So much on the line. This is the biggest match of The Mad Cappa’s career by far! COACH He’s the fresh meat in this situation. He’s never been a World Champion, and never been in a World Title Match. He’s not used to this. Which is why he will fail. COLE We’ll see about that, Coach. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” NEW MUSIC~! plays for Tha Puerto Rican, “Know Your Role 2000” to be exact. Also a new PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron. A lightning bolt hits the entrance. The lights go down in the arena and spotlights circle around and around. Tha Puerto Rican is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song. Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers even louder for Tha Puerto Rican than they did for The Mad Cappa. BUFFER And introducing challenger #2. Coming to the ring at this time. Weighing long red tights with blue and white trim along with red boots with a Puerto Rican flag airbrushed on them, blue elbow pads, a gold chain around his neck, Puerto Rican flag wrist bands and a Puerto Rican flag bandana. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Standing 5’9” and weighing in at 220 lbs. Two months ago, this man was kicked out of the very group he founded, and lost everything but gained a friend back. Since then, he has been on a quest for vengeance which leads him to this match tonight. An OAOAST veteran, barring an 8-month stay in jail back in 2004, this competitor has been on OAOAST TV nearly every week since March 10, 2003. In that time, he has won the OAOAST Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Championship on three separate occasions, has won the OAOAST North American Championship, the OAOAST X-Division Championship, holds the record for the longest 24/7 Championship reign in OAOAST history, AND is a former co-holder of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship with his partner ironically enough being one of his opponents tonight. But he has yet to win the big one. Competing in his fourth World Title Match in six months, and his EIGHTH World Title Match overall, he is looking to finally achieve his dream that began 10 years ago. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the FORMER leader of The Lightning Crew, but now one-half of The Badd Boyz. The master of the P.R. Nightmare. The most electrifying man in professional wrestling. The People’s Champion. The P.R. Menace. The one…the only…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd cheers loudly as Puerto Rican stops to slap some hands at ringside before power walking around the ringside area, giving The Mad Cappa The People’s Eyebrow along the way. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has slowly won the people over in his quest to become World Heavyweight Champion, and I’m sure we can now call him The People’s Champion and mean it! COACH He’s ripped off everything else from The Rock, so why not just go all the way, huh? When is he gonna grow huge sideburns? COLE PRL is going into battle with two men he knows very well. One a former ally. The other, an enemy turned quasi-ally in the past two weeks. COACH While it’s true that Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa have teamed up with little difficulty in the past few weeks, that’s all going to end once that bell rings. All their hatred, all their rage for each other will return and it’ll be like the old days once again. COLE And that is something Stephen Joseph Popick is counting on, right? COACH Correct! Divide And Conquer and all of that! COLE Right. I sure have known. PRL climbs the ring steps and stands on the ring apron. He stares at The Mad Cappa and then enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans’ cheers as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. He then gets off the second turnbuckle and heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air again. PRL gets off the second turnbuckle, walks right by Mad Cappa, and then heads to a third second turnbuckle where he proceeds to raise his right fist into the air and “smell the electricity” while a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. The crowd cheers loudly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s life has changed forever in the past two months. Can Tha Puerto Rican complete this change by capturing the World Title tonight in Mexico? COACH No he can’t, and no he won’t. And what’s with these Mexicans cheering someone named Tha PUERTO RICAN!? COLE PRL is loved everywhere he goes, regardless of what country he’s in. COACH And just think, if it was October of last year we would be saying that he’s hated everywhere he goes, regardless of what country he’s in. COLE Ain’t that the truth. The lives of all three men in this match-up have changed dramatically since our last TV special, the Halloween Spectacular, back in October. PRL gets off the third second turnbuckle and heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he does the Rock pose again, drawing more cheers. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes and walks over to The Mad Cappa where he proceeds to get into a staredown with him. COLE Uh-oh. No love lost between these two men, we know that for sure! COACH They’re going to go at it right now, before the bell rings! PRL and Mad Cappa mouth off to each other, both men having angry expressions on their faces. Things get very heated between the two men. But they manage not to throw fists. At least not right now. COLE An uneasy alliance has been formed between PR and Mad Cappa, based on a mutual hatred of Stephen Joseph Popick! But can that alliance withstand this match? COACH Of course not! What kind of question is that!? Divide And Conquer! Divide And Conquer! COLE Would you stop with that Divide And Conquer crap!? COACH …No. PRL tells Cappa something and then removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant. PRL then stares at Mad Cappa, not taking his eyes off of him while the lights go back on in the arena and “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. COLE This is Tha Puerto Rican’s fourth Title Match in six months. He failed to win it at AngleSlam, he failed to win it at Zero Hour, he failed to win it in the Triple Decker Cage Match at November Reign. Can he finally do it tonight? Or will PRL come up short in a Title Match…again? COACH ‘Will PRL come up short in a Title Match…again?’ That’s like asking is the sky blue? Or is Michael Cole a homosexual? It’s an easy answer! COLE I would appreciate it if you stopped taking shots at my sexuality in the new year. COACH Oh hell naw! I have got a HELL of a lot more jokes in my arsenal! Just you wait! The year’s just started! COLE (sarcastically) Oh great. I can hardly wait. COACH I know. Me neither! PRL stares at The Mad Cappa, and then turns his attention to the entrance. Cappa also turns his attention to the entrance. The crowd buzzes in anticipation for the last entrance as “Know Your Role 2000” dies down. COLE There’s only one entrance left. COACH That’s right. THE CHAMP’S! PR and Cappa glance at each other, then back at the entrance. COLE The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican hate each other, but do they hate each other as much as they hate this man? "Work itmake itdo itmakes usharderbetterfasterstronger" “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The pulsating beat of Kanye West’s “Stronger” alerts the crowd that the World Heavyweight Champion is about to make his entrance. White pyro cascades down in the entrance as Stephen Joseph Popick appears, arms outstretched in a crucifix position, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. "I NEED YA RIGHT NOW!" *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* *PYRO~!* Popick turns around with a smile on his face as wide as the Cheshire Cat. Popick mouths off to his “adoring” public and then begins his walk to the ring, stopping only after a few feet to bring out his manager for this evening, his wife, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, who is dressed in a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a black tie, diamond earrings, gold bracelets on both her wrists, a very short red plaid miniskirt with a black skirt underneath it to prevent people from seeing something that they’re not supposed to, white knee-high socks with black vertical stripes, and white wrestling boots. Oh, and her hair is in pigtails too. Lindsay carries the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her right shoulder. She kisses her husband right on the lips and then holds his right hand as the two of them walk to the ring to overwhelming boos from the thousands in attendance. BUFFER And their opponent. Accompanied to the ring tonight by the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women’s Champion Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Weighing a black tanktop, a crucifix around his neck, black elbow pads, black wrist tape, black pants, and black boots. From Atlanta, Georgia. Standing 6’2” and weighing in at 225 lbs. An OAOAST Original, he has been with the company since nearly the beginning, and in that time has made several friends and PLENTY of enemies. This man has feuded with OAOAST legends such as Caboose, Zack Malibu, cobainwasmurdered, AngleSault, and Angle-Plex, and is most certainly a legend in his own right. He shocked the world back on October 31, 2007 by defeating Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the second time in his career. He shocked the world again this past November by orchestrating a coup and overthrowing the leader of The Lightning Crew, one of his opponents tonight, and assuming the leadership role himself. Now, with eight superstars at his helm, he fears no man, not even the two he is facing tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Worrrrrrrlllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST. The one…the only…STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK K! Popick ignores the thunderous boos aimed at him and continues on his merry way to the ring with Lindsay in tow. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick shocked the world three times in two months. First, he became the man who ended Landon Maddix’s World Heavyweight Title reign on the Halloween Spectacular back in October. Then, he managed to survive the HELLACIOUS Triple Decker Cage Match to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at November Reign, with a little unintentional help from Tha Puerto Rican. And then, most shocking of all, he ended the alliance between himself and PRL, and THEN took control of The Lightning Crew away from Tha Puerto Rican and revealed to the world that he had married PRL’s fiancée, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, behind PR’s back! COACH In a chapel in Las Vegas the day after November Reign. PRL was sleeping when they tied the knot! COLE How classy of them. COACH Hey! It doesn’t matter WHERE they got married. The important thing is that they’re married, and Lindsay couldn’t be happier! COLE She seemed pretty happy when she was with PRL. COACH Yeah, but she wasn’t *happy*. Now she is, thanks to Popick! Popick satisfies her in ways P.R. couldn’t. COLE Let’s just leave it at that, Coach. Okay? COACH You wouldn’t believe the stuff Popick and Lindsay do together! Why Popick told me just the other day that they do this thing where-- COLE THAT’S ENOUGH! We’re on primetime TV, Coach! Keep it TV-14 all right? COACH Fine. It’s pretty hot what they do though. COLE I prefer to keep it vague, thank you very much. COACH Suit yourself, you bloody dobby. Popick points a menacing finger at PRL and Mad Cappa, and then points to his World Title belt to let them know who’s the head cheese now. He gives Lindsay a quick kiss on the lips and then jogs up the ring steps. After stopping to pose, he scales the turnbuckle closest to the ring steps. With one leg on the top turnbuckle, Stephen Joseph scans the crowd for any Popick fans that might be out there. There aren’t that many, that’s for sure. Still, Popick’s the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and has got a hot babe for a wife, so he’s not too worry about the lack of fans for him tonight. PR and Cappa eye Popick with ANGER in their eyes. COLE Popick at one time managed PRL and Mad Cappa. PRL was Popick’s “Corporate Champion” for three years! But that relationship ended on the HeldDOWN~! after November Reign, and was sealed with a clothesline to the back by Cuban Wall! COACH Again, PRL had failed as a leader by not bringing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title to The Lightning Crew despite having three different chances at doing so! That’s not a leader The Lightning Crew needs. Now look at Popick. A TWO-TIME World Heavyweight Champion! And he has won the Title twice in two years! Who would you prefer to have as a leader: the choke artist or the proven World Champion? COLE Neither actually. I like PRL better now than I did when he was the leader of The Lightning Crew. COACH Of course you do. He’s weak now, and you like weak people. Weak boy! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Popick jumps off the top turnbuckle and into the ring. Lindsay stays on the outside and watches as Popick walks with a swagger up to PRL and The Mad Cappa. Stephen Joseph unstraps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from around his waist and shoves it in the faces of PRL and then The Mad Cappa. He taunts his two adversaries, who respond with sneers of their own. SJP raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head as “Stronger” continues playing and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds her husband. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick’s LAST World Heavyweight Title reign ended on our FIRST New Year’s Spectacular back on January 1, 2006. On that show, he lost the Title to Peter Knight. Will history repeat itself? Will Popick lose his Title to one of those two men in the ring with him right now? Or will Popick overcome the odds just like he has for the past 3 months? COACH I’m leaning towards scenario ‘B’, personally. Popick’s ready for P.R. and The Mad Cappa. Remember, he has a Master Plan! COLE Yeah, yeah, yeah. Divide And Conquer. I know. I know. COACH You catch on pretty quick, Mikey! Popick slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and taunts Cappa and PR some more. He then kisses the belt and hands it over to referee Earl Hebner who raises the belt over his head to let the crowd know that this is a Title Match. Earl Hebner then hands the World Heavyweight Title belt over to a ringside attendant who then hands it over to the timekeeper who then places the belt on top of the timekeeper’s table. COLE Popick’s name is already on the belt, on one of the straps listing past Champions. Will PR or Mad Cappa join him one day because of tonight? Earl Hebner pats down Tha Puerto Rican. Popick says, “Yeah, you pat him down!” PR eyes Popick because of that remark. Earl Hebner then pats down The Mad Cappa, and then pats down Popick while PR says, “Pat HIM down, Earl!” Popick and PR mouth off to each other, but Earl Hebner makes them stop so that he can give them some last minute rules. Afterwards, he calls for the bell. COLE The main event is about to begin here in Monterrey, Mexico! *DING DING DING* “Divide And Conquer” TRIPLE THREAT MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (Champion with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick) vs. THA PUERTO RICAN (Challenger) vs. THE MAD CAPPA (Challenger) “Stronger” by Kanye West dies down. The crowd cheers loudly. Lindsay screams words of encouragement for her husband from the outside. Popick, PR, and Mad Cappa are still standing in a circle following Earl Hebner patting them down and telling them the rules. Popick has a cocky smirk on his face, while PR and Cappa have serious expressions on their faces. COACH And now the plan can begin! Divide And Conquer! COLE Popick is hoping for his Master Plan to work tonight! But will it? COACH Oh it will! PR and The Mad Cappa HATE each other! No way can they focus on Popick when they’re both standing in the ring a few feet from each other! COLE That’s what Popick is hoping for tonight. Popick taunts both PR and Cappa at the same time. He flips The Mad Cappa a middle finger, and then tells PRL to “JUST BRING IT, BITCH!” He points to both of them and yells out, “BRING IT ON!” COLE Lots of trash talking in the early going. COACH They’re all good at that. Well, maybe not Cappa. COLE I’ll agree with you on that. And Cappa can hold his own in the trash talking department. Popick heads to a turnbuckle corner and waits for either Cappa or PRL to fight him. He motions for one of them to do their worst. Cappa and P.R. glance at each other. They start talking. COLE Uh-oh. PRL and The Mad Cappa are talking to each other! The question everyone wants answered is who do PRL and The Mad Cappa hate more: each other or Popick? COACH Each other of course. Remember all the history that they have with each other! Cappa and PRL get into a face-to-face confrontation. The crowd is antsy, feeling fists will fly at any minute. COLE Things are getting heated right now! PRL and Mad Cappa’s faces are red. They stand nose-to-nose, spewing venom at each other. All the while, Popick is egging them on. COLE The plan is working thus far. PRL and Cappa are ignoring Popick and focusing on each other! COACH Popick’s plans always work! Popick nods his head and smiles evilly. He mouths, “Good! Good! Good!” P.R. and Mad Cappa cock their fists…and then rush forward and attack Popick at the same time! “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! COACH No! No! No! No! This wasn’t apart of the plan! The fists of fury take Popick over to a turnbuckle corner! Lindsay watches on with concern as PR and Cappa take turns giving Popick knife-edged chops across the chest! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” PRL tells Mad Cappa something and then together with The Mad One whip Stephen Joseph into the ropes. Cappa ducks down so that Popick can jump over him. PRL does a leapfrog over Popick, but then Popick stops in his tracks and kicks PRL in his stomach! Popick then bounces off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Tha Puerto Rican, but runs right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from The Mad Cappa! COLE And The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican are in control of the World Heavyweight Champion as this match gets underway! COACH GO TO PLAN B! GO TO PLAN B! You can’t let them do this to you Popick! Popick withers in pain as both PR and Cappa stomp on his body! COLE Well, they’ve teamed up for the past two weeks so maybe they’ve gotten used to it! The Mad Cappa picks Popick up. He taunts him and then whips him into a turnbuckle corner. Cappa charges forward…right into a raised right boot from Popick! But then Tha Puerto Rican charges forward and nails Popick with a Stinger Splash! COLE Cappa failed, but Tha Puerto Rican came through with that Stinger Splash! COACH This isn’t right! This is a Triple Threat Match, not a Handicap Match! COLE True, but Cappa and PRL’s mutual hatred of Stephen Joseph Popick has led them to team up, if only for a moment! PRL whips The Mad Cappa into the turnbuckle where Popick is standing, and Cappa proceeds to hit SJP with a clothesline! THA PUERTO RICAN CAPPA! PRL tells Mad Cappa something. Together, the two arch-rivals whip their other arch-rival into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Cappa charges forward--Stephen Joseph jumps up--Cappa nearly hits the turnbuckle sternum first but stops in his tracks! Popick walks backwards right into Tha Puerto Rican who grabs him in a waistlock! Popick tries to fight out of it, but PRL has a tight grip around Popick’s waist. The Mad Cappa sees this as a perfect opportunity to cock his right fist and take a swing…missing Popick and hitting PRL as Popick escapes the waistlock! COLE Uh-oh! COACH There we go! The alliance is over! They’re back to hating each other again! COLE The Mad Cappa accidentally hitting Tha Puerto Rican! COACH What do you mean ’accidentally’? He meant to do that and you know it! PRL doesn’t take too kindly to being punched in the face, and responds with a Rock-style punch to The Mad Cappa’s temple! Cappa fires back with another punch to Tha Puerto Rican’s skull! PRL fires with another Rock punch. A slugfest erupts between the two old rivals with Stephen Joseph Popick looking on! COACH Ah, everything is back to normal again! COLE PRL and Cappa going at it! How many times over the years have we seen this? Back and forth Cappa and PRL go, not noticing Stephen Joseph back on his feet and rooting the slugfest on! STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Yeah! Yeah! Hit each other! Hit each other! Punch! Punch! Punch! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It is hearing Popick’s Southern drawl that makes PRL and Cappa stop punching each other and turn their attention to the World Heavyweight Champion. Both Cappa and P.R. stare at Popick with contempt in their eyes. Popick, meanwhile, has a smile on his face as he motions for the two challengers to his Title to keep on fighting each other. POPICK Go at it! Go at it! What are you waiting for? Go at it! COACH Divide And Conquer! DIVIDE AND CONQUER! PRL and Mad Cappa look at each other…and then both clothesline Popick at the same time! COACH Oh no! P.R. grabs Cappa and starts hammering away at him as Popick gets up! COLE That alliance was even shorter than their previous alliance! Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa trade punches back and forth. Popick gets up, so Cappa knocks him back down with a right hand! He then goes back to punching PRL in the face repeatedly! Popick is up again, so PRL knocks him back down with a Rock-style punch to the temple! He then goes back to slugging it out with The Mad Cappa! P.R. gains control of The Mad Cappa and takes him down with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Cappa falls to the mat. Tha Puerto Rican then turns his attention to Popick, picking him up and seating him on the top turnbuckle pad. Puerto climbs the second turnbuckle, but is stopped by The Mad Cappa who clubs him in the back and then pulls him off of the turnbuckle using his tights! Cappa then climbs the second turnbuckle himself. As he does this, PRL ducks under Mad Cappa and scoops him up onto his shoulders in an Electric Chair Drop position! P.R. walks backwards with Mad Cappa on his shoulders! Stephen Joseph sees this and stands on top of the top turnbuckle…and jumps off the top rope with a crossbody block!--THE MAD CAPPA DUCKS DOWN! STEPHEN JOSEPH HITS NOTHING BUT MAT! COLE Great takeoff, bad landing! COACH His face could be ruined! The Mad Cappa’s legs are wrapped around Tha Puerto Rican, so PRL lifts Mad Cappa up and drops him onto Popick’s chest! Cappa now has Popick covered! 1... 2... PRL PULLS MAD CAPPA OFF OF POPICK!!!! COLE Tha Puerto Rican realized what was happening at the last second and pulled The Mad Cappa off of Popick, thereby saving his chances at the World Title! Cappa looks up at Puerto and Puerto says, “Like I was going to let you win!?” He then covers Popick himself! 1... 2... CAPPA PULLS PRL OFF OF POPICK!!!! Tha Puerto Rican yells, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?” And The Mad Cappa responds with, “Like *I* was going to let you win!?” PR gets up and gets in The Mad Cappa’s face. COLE Despite being tag team partners for two weeks, there's still alot of hatred between Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. COACH If they remember that they hate each other, Popick should be in the clear. COLE You might be right about that, unfortunately. PRL tells Mad Cappa that “You can’t see me!” Then he picks Stephen Joseph Popick up. He punches him in the face while Cappa clubs his back. Tha Puerto Rican gives Popick an Irish whip into the ropes. P.R. does a leapfrog over Popick…Popick stops in his tracks to kick Mad Cappa in the gut! Popick then charges forward…ducks a clothesline…bounces off the ropes…jumps up and wraps his legs around PRL, and gives both Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa a Rube Goldberg Bulldog! COLE My goodness, what a move! COACH Yes! Stephen Joseph gets up and poses for the fans to tremendous boos! He laughs manically. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds her husband from the outside of the ring. COACH Stephen Joseph is back in the driver’s seat! COLE But it is going to take a lot more than a Rube Goldberg Bulldog to put PRL AND Cappa down! COACH Not TOO much more hopefully! Popick talks to the camera. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Divide And Conquer! NO FEAR! WOO! Popick covers both PRL and Mad Cappa at the same time! ONE! TWO! SHOULDERS UP!!!!!!! COLE Not sure if that was a wise move. COACH It was very wise. Get both men at once! He did the dividing, now he’s going to do some conquering! Popick waits for the first man to get up. It’s Cappa, so Stephen Joseph grabs TMC by his left hand and whips him into the ropes--Cappa reverses--Popick bounces off the ropes, slides underneath Mad Cappa’s legs, and then chops PRL across the chest! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Popick chops Mad Cappa across the chest! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Popick chops PRL across the chest again! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Popick chops Mad Cappa across the chest again! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Popick chops Mad Cappa AND Tha Puerto Rican at the same time! “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COACH Popick’s chops rival Ric Flair’s! COLE Coach! Let’s not say things that we can’t take back! POPICK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COLE The World Heavyweight Champion is in control of both of his opponents right now! Popick takes a break to rest his hands, and then backs The Mad Cappa against the ropes so that he can whip him right into Tha Puerto Rican HOWEVER Cappa does a FLAIR FLIP onto Tha Puerto Rican’s shoulders, punching him in the face repeatedly! Popick charges forward, so PRL throws Cappa onto Popick’s left shoulder! Popick kicks PR in the stomach while still holding Cappa. He charges forward…Mad Cappa escapes Popick’s grasp, causing the World Champ to hit the turnbuckle sternum-first! SJP staggers backwards, right into a Mad Cappa waistlock. Cappa gives Popick a German Suplex!--NO!--Popick lands right on his feet--AND GETS HIT WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE FROM THA PUERTO RICAN!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE PRL with a HUGE move right there to knock Popick down! The Mad Cappa waits for PRL to get near him. Kick to the stomach, X-Factor! COACH Oh no! Cappa struck with a move of his own! COLE Indeed he did! We could have a new Champion! ONE! TWO! LEFT SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!! Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick breathes a huge sigh of relief. Cappa is disappointed that he didn’t get the pin, but he sees that Popick is still down, so he covers him! ONE! TWO! PRL PULLS CAPPA OFF OF POPICK! COLE P.R. once again stopping the pinfall in the nick of time! Popick slowly gets up, and quickly covers Tha Puerto Rican! ONE! TWO!! KICK OUT!!!!!! COLE And The Champ couldn’t get a pinfall right there! PR, Mad Cappa, and Stephen Joseph are starting to become fatigued. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick slaps the mat to get her husband back into this match. COLE Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick, the wife of Stephen Joseph, not wanting her husband to start off 2008 as the FORMER OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Popick’s first Title reign ended two years ago at this event. Will history repeat itself tonight as Popick faces two men who are giving it all they got! Only Popick knows what it’s like to be Champion, and he wants it to remain that way tonight on the New Year’s Spectacular! COACH I’m worried. Sometimes the Master Plan works, sometimes it doesn’t! COLE PRL and The Mad Cappa have traded blows, but they also have teamed up against Popick. Apparently they are doing whatever it takes to win tonight, whether it’s by teaming up to eliminate a common enemy, or wail on each other, or both! All three men start slowly getting up. Lindsay screams for Popick to get back into the match. The Mad Cappa uses the ring ropes to pull himself up. Popick gets to a vertical base. When he sees PRL near the ropes, he makes a charge clothes lining The People’s Champion over the top rope and onto the floor! COACH Happy landing, P.R.! HA! HA! HA! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is out on the outside near the aisle! Popick is breathing hard. The Mad Cappa charges forward, and SJP gives The Mad Cappa a BAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop over the top rope and onto Tha Puerto Rican! COLE He landed on PRL, a spectacular manuever! And once again, the World Heavyweight Champion is in control of his two adversaries! COACH Excellent move! Popick showing his veteran instinct right now! Both Puerto Rican and Mad Cappa slowly get up. Both men are on their knees. Popick stands up tall watching them get back to their feet. COLE Cappa hurt Tha Puerto Rican some more, although inadvertanly! And he may have hurt his left wrist there, I believe he landed further than the uh, mats! PRL and The Mad Cappa are up. Popick jumps up onto the top ring rope and springboards off it, giving both P.R. and The Mad Cappa a clothesline on the way down! COACH AW YEAH! THE CHAMP STRIKES BIG! COLE Stephen Joseph, the World Heavyweight Champion, with a high risk manuever of his own, something that’s unusual coming from him! He’s more of a technical wrestler, but he went to the air on that one! Big hang time from Popick! COACH Cappa and PRL are not the only ones that can go to the air! Popick just proved that right now! Lindsay gives Stephen Joseph a big round of applause. PRL and The Mad Cappa both lie on the outside in pain. Popick slowly gets up, breathing hard himself. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican and throws him into the ring as The Mad Cappa slides into the ring by his own accord. Popick climbs up the ring steps. POPICK I got this. Popick gives the camera a thumbs up and a wink and a smile. SJ climbs the top rope and waits for The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican to get up. COLE Popick going up top once again! Going for another high risk move here. COACH Fly, Popick, fly! Stephen Joseph stands up and smiles evilly as PRL and Mad Cappa get to their feet. He mouths, “You’re mine!” And then jumps off the top rope… RIGHT INTO A DOUBLE DROPKICK FROM CAPPA AND THA PUERTO RICAN~!!!!!!! COLE Oh my~! What a move from Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa! COACH OH GOD! POPICK! COLE A double dropkick! Both men using their quick feet to take Stephen Joseph down! Popick is gasping for air now! He rolls to a turnbuckle corner and clutches his stomach in horrible pain. PR and Cappa slowly get back up. Lindsay can only look on with worry as Popick continues coughing in a corner. COLE Popick has been taken out for the time being, so we’ve got The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican going at it right now. The Mad Cappa grabs Tha Puerto Rican and whips him into the ropes. PRL slides underneath Mad Cappa’s legs. Cappa stops the sliding by punching PRL in his head! HOWEVER, PRL sits up, and then stands up, with The Mad Cappa sitting on his shoulders in an Electric Chair Drop position! P.R. walks backwards with The Mad Cappa sitting on his shoulders! Popick sees this and leaps onto the top ring rope, springboarding off it and wrapping his legs around The Mad Cappa’s head to give him a HURRICARANA OFF OF THA PUERTO RICAN’S SHOULDERS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE WHAT A MOVE! COACH YEAH! COLE Popick with an unlikely assist from his former client! COACH That’s the ONLY time they’ll team up from now on! SJP sees Cappa down and makes the cover! 1! 2! PR BREAKS THE COUNT!!! COLE PRL AGAIN stopping the referee before the count of 3! The match continues! PRL stops to catch his breath, and then covers Popick himself! Lindsay shakes her head. 1! 2! RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ-POPICK Phew! Tha Puerto Rican curses under his breath, and then picks up Stephen Joseph Popick. COLE Now it’s PRL and Popick going at it. The student and the teacher. The mentor and his proteage! COACH And the Master Plan is in effect! Puerto Rican puts Popick in a front facelock. He then puts Popick’s left arm over his head and grabs Stephen’s pants. PR goes for a vertical suplex--Popick lands on his feet behind Puerto! He grabs P.R. in a waistlock. P.R. elbows Popick in the face several times to break the waistlock and then grabs SJP in a side headlock. P.R. then charges forward, planting his feet on the top turnbuckle pad, launching himself off of it, kicking The Mad Cappa along the way, and then dropping Popick with a bulldog to the mat! COLE Innovative move from Tha Puerto Rican here on the New Year’s Spectacular! He dropkicked one man and bulldogged the other! Popick is in a daze, face down on the mat! P.R. covers Popick! He gets only two! P.R. slaps the mat in frustration. He gets up and starts dropping fists onto Popick’s forehead. The Mad Cappa sits on the ropes, catching his breath. Puerto Rican rushes to the ropes, bounces off of them, rushes towards Popick, stops, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then drops another left fist onto Popick’s forehead! COLE Five Knuckle Shuffle! COACH Like *that* move is going to keep Popick down for long! Tha Puerto Rican gets up and picks Popick back up to his feet. Russian Legsweep! Puerto then exits the ring and glances over at Lindsay, who responds by sneering at PRL and sticking her tongue out at him. The P.R. Menace climbs the top rope and settles himself on the turnbuckle. COLE PRL going to fly now! COACH Move out of the way, Popick! P.R. makes sure he has his balance before standing up tall on the top rope and jumping off with a splash…and meeting Popick’s knees on the way down! COACH Ooh! That had to hurt! COLE P.R. went for a high risk move and paid for it dearly that time! Cappa sees PRL down, so he exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Cappa positions himself and then jumps off the top, hitting PRL with a legdrop on the way down! COLE A top rope legdrop from The Mad One! COACH And PR stole that move from The Mad Cappa and named it The Mad Cappa Crusher! COLE Well, now he does the Top Rope Legdrop differently and calls it The Mad Cappa Crusher 2006: The Remix! COACH Ugh. Cappa covers PRL. 1... 2... POPICK BREAKS UP THE COUNT!!!!! COLE And Popick saves his Title right there! Really tough when you got all three men with the presence of mind to stay in the match, not out, to try and make a pin! PR, Cappa, and Popick are all feeling the effects of this match now. COLE You can see all three men slowly trying to get back to a vertical base. Cappa is up first. Popick is right behind, so Cappa grabs him and nails him with several forearm shots to the face. Cappa places Popick in a front facelock, and then puts Popick’s left arm over his head. TMC grabs Popick’s pants and lifts him up, placing him on the ring apron. Cappa throws a few more shots to Popick’s skull, and then climbs the top ring rope. Maintaining his balance, The Mad Cappa jumps off the top ring rope, grabbing Popick with his legs and giving him a HEADSCISSORS TAKEDOWN FROM THE RING APRON ONTO THE FLOOR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COACH OH NO! COLE Oh my! Incredible move! Incredible move from The Mad Cappa! How many times have we said that in this match!? Lindsay lets out an audible shriek when Popick hits the floor! SJ’s feet are near the barricade! COLE The Mad Cappa held the ring apron that time so that he would not hit his head, and as a result, Stephen Joseph Popick suffered the worst of that move! COACH Oh come on Popick! You can’t stay down! You just can’t! Win it for Lindsay! Win it for The Lightning Crew! Just win it damnit! Mad Cappa slides back into the ring, right into a shaky leg kick from Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. nails Cappa with several shaky leg kicks to the back of his head. PRL picks Cappa up by his shirt and head and scoops him up, slamming him back down onto the mat hard! The crowd starts buzzing, feeling something big is coming up. COACH Not this again. PRL exits the ring and climbs the top rope. Eyeing Mad Cappa, PRL removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then stands up on top of the turnbuckle, looking down at a fallen Cappa. COLE PRL about to take the air with one of his signature moves! PRL makes sure he maintains his balance…and then jumps off the top rope, doing an “Up yours!” hand gesture on the way down, before connecting with The People’s Elbow Drop on The Mad Cappa’s chest! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! One of PRL’s signature moves! The cover! One! Two! Hegothim!Nohedidn’t! The kick out came before the save attempt that time by Popick! All three men are now in the ring and are winded. Tha Puerto Rican is up first and is punching Popick in the face before picking him up by his hair. He hooks him up in a Cradle DDT position…and nails it, causing the crowd to groan! COLE PRL with the Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad! PR with the cover! 1... 2... 3! MAD CAPPA BREAKS UP THE PIN!!! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows The Mad Cappa’s headscissors takedown from the ring apron to the floor. COLE Let’s see this again. Mad Cappa risking life and limb for this move. He’s doing all of this to become World Heavyweight Champion tonight on the New Year’s Spectacular! He’s trying to end Stephen Joseph Popick’s Title reign which has lasted since October 31st of last year! This is The Mad Cappa’s first World Title shot, and he is giving it his all! It’s all or nothing for The Mad Cappa tonight here in Monterrey, Mexico! He wants to go back to the U.S. as World Champion! COACH And he might if he keeps doing stupid moves like that one! COLE Back live fans, and all three men are showing signs of life again. Cappa grabs Tha Puerto Rican and nails him with several shots to the face. COLE Cappa and PRL no strangers to throwing punches at each other! They just fought again this past December in a match that saw The Mad Cappa refuse to crush PRL’s larynx when he had the perfect opportunity to do so! But The Mad Cappa knows what’s at stake here tonight, and I seriously doubt he’s going to hesitate in this match-up! Cappa kicks PRL in the stomach. He then hops onto PRL’s back, going for a sunset flip! However, PRL grabs Mad Cappa’s legs and pulls him back up, so The Mad Cappa catches PRL with a bulldog as he’s being pulled up! COLE More innovative offense from The Mad Cappa! He improvised that move in mid-air, bulldogged him down, and here’s the cover! 1...2...POPICK PULLS CAPPA OFF OF PRL! COLE All three men have prevented each other from gaining the victory! COACH They all want the World Title! The question is who wants it more? COLE We will find out tonight! THERE MUST BE A WINNER! Popick picks Mad Cappa up. He gives Cappa a wheelbarrow suplex! SJP then picks Mad Cappa up and punches him in the face, before shoving him sternum-first into a turnbuckle corner. Cappa staggers backward, right into a waistlock from Popick. German Suplex! Popick is up again, so he picks The Mad Cappa up. After taunting him, he kicks Cappa in the gut. X-Factor! COLE That three move combo Popick always does, he just did right now on The Mad Cappa! Stephen Joseph goes for the cover. 1...2...PRL BREAKS UP THE PINFALL! COLE PRL with the save! His Title aspirations are still in tact! COACH Big whoop. PRL picks Stephen Joseph Popick up and throws him through the ropes and onto the floor! PRL then picks The Mad Cappa up and whips him into a turnbuckle corner--The Mad Cappa reverses--PRL does a Flair Flip in the turnbuckle onto the ring apron! PRL rushes, but gets clotheslined by Mad Cappa, sending *him* to the outside also! COLE The Mad Cappa is the last man standing in the ring! How will he take advantage of this!? Both PRL and Popick lie on the outside in pain. They both slowly get up. Popick is up first. Cappa sees this and jumps onto the top ring rope, springboarding off of it and doing a SIDE SWINGING MOONSAULT ONTO THA PUERTO RICAN AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK~!!!!!!!!!!!!11 COLE OH MY GOD! COACH YO~! The Mad Cappa is dazed, on his knees shaking the cobwebs out, while both PR and Stephen Joseph Popick lie on the aisle, both getting the burnt of Mad Cappa’s Side Swinging Moonsault! COLE A spectacular move in a series of them tonight from The Mad Cappa! COACH Come on Popick! Recover! Remember the plan: Divide And Conquer! Divide And Conquer! COLE Popick is not doing a lot of dividing and conquering right now! COACH S--shut up! He’ll do it eventually! Like any minute now! “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” Lindsay covers her mouth with her left hand to show the shock she has over what The Mad Cappa just did. PRL is kissing the ground. The Mad Cappa is the only one not flat on his back, so he picks Stephen Joseph Popick up, albeit slower than before, and slams his face on the ring apron! Referee Earl Hebner can only watch as there are no disqualifications and no countouts in a Triple Threat Match. Cappa throws Popick back into the ring. COLE And all Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Earl Hebner can do is watch. No countouts, no disqualifications in this one! COACH Poor Lindsay. Forced to watch all of this! COLE ‘Forced?’ She can leave anytime she wants to, Coach! COACH And just what kind of a wife would she be if she just left Popick during his darkest hour!? COLE A wife with common sense? COACH You’re just jealous because you’ve never found someone to love you and you never will! COLE I am a happily married man, Coach. COACH Inflatable dolls do not count, Michael! Mad Cappa waits for Popick to get back up. COLE Who will win it? Cappa, PRL, or Popick? No one knows because all three men have given it everything… The Mad Cappa springboards off of the top ring rope, grabbing Popick with his legs and giving him a hurricarana! COLE From the top! COACH Damnit! No! The Mad Cappa crawls towards Popick. COLE The Mad Cappa can go for the pin here because Tha Puerto Rican is out of the ring! Instead, The Mad Cappa picks Stephen Joseph Popick up and whips him into the ropes. COLE Cappa not going for the cover there! COACH You idiot! Popick’s gonna fight back and you’ll be sorry! Cappa puts his head down, so Stephen Joseph kicks him in the face! Popick then grabs Mad Cappa and lifts him up high into the air. High Angle Neckbreaker! COLE Popick with another of his signature moves! Stephen Joseph covers The Mad Cappa with an evil smile on his face. 1... 2... THA PUERTO RICAN BREAKS THE COUNT!!!!!! COLE Tha Puerto Rican making a last second dash into the ring to stop the count! The match STILL continues! COACH He got lucky there! I’m surprised that he didn’t trip and fall down on his face on the outside! Or tear his quadriceps getting into the ring! All three men are down on the mat again. COACH Popick’s feeling it! The match could end any minute now! COLE The end may be near for TWO of these three men! Only one man walks out of the Monterrey Arena with the OAOAST Championship belt in their possesion! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows The Mad Cappa’s Side Springboard Swinging Moonsault onto Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick on the outside. It is shown again in slow motion. COLE And check this out. The Mad Cappa, risking it all, all or nothing for The Mad One. Side Swinging Moonsault, vintage Mad Cappa! And he connected on PRL AND Popick! But now, it is Stephen Joseph Popick who is in control. The World Heavyweight Champion in control of the man he used to call his ’Corporate Champion’! Indeed, Stephen Joseph Popick punches PRL in the face several times softening him up. He takes Puerto to a turnbuckle corner. There, he seats PRL on the top turnbuckle, and then gives him a knife edged chop across the chest! (“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”) PRL kicks Popick right in the face. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion staggers… The Mad Cappa charges forward… Popick sees Cappa coming right at him… Stephen Joseph Popick grabs The Mad Cappa and throws him up onto Tha Puerto Rican’s shoulders… The Mad Cappa gives Tha Puerto Rican a Frankensteiner from the top rope!!!!! COLE ANOTHER incredible move from The Mad Cappa tonight! Cappa with the cover! ONE! TWO!! POPICK BREAKS THE FALL!!!!!!!!!!! COLE Stephen Joseph Popick might have just saved his Title right there! It looked like Cappa was really going to get the pinfall right there! COACH He was going to kick out! What? He was! He really was! Why are looking at me like that, Cole? Stop it! You’re freaking me out! Cappa slaps the mat in frustration. THE MAD CAPPA COME ON! COLE The Mad Cappa feeling the pressure! He has had several close falls! He is only a 3 count or a tap out away from his first World Title! COACH He doesn’t have it in him to do it! And neither does PRL! COLE They’ve both come close several times! It’s POPICK who’s suffered the worst of things! COACH That’s a total lie and you know it, Cole! COLE Oh come on! Cappa is annoyed now. PRL slowly gets up. COLE Any number of those moves could have won the match, but the wild card in this match is the third man in this ring! And this third man, be it Popick, Cappa, or PRL, has served to more *save* the match then to *win* the match so far here tonight! PRL and Cappa watch as Popick gets up. They both look at each other and then at Popick. PRL and The Mad Cappa wait for Popick to get near them. PRL hits Popick with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Popick staggers right into a punch from The Mad Cappa! Popick staggers again into another Rock punch from Tha Puerto Rican! Popick staggers into a punch from The Mad Cappa! A punch from PRL! A punch from Cappa! A punch from PRL! A punch from Cappa! COLE Cappa and PRL taking shots at the World Champion! One from PRL! One from Cappa! And again from PRL! And again from The Mad Cappa! And a punch from PRL! And a punch from The Mad Cappa! They're playing a little ping-pong with Popick as the ball! COACH STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! PR and The Mad Cappa keep taking turns punching Popick in the face! Finally, Popick has enough and blocks a punch from PRL! He then blocks a punch from The Mad Cappa! PRL goes for another punch--BLOCKED! The Mad Cappa goes for another punch--BLOCKED! PRL and The Mad Cappa keep going for punches, and they keep getting blocked by Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Hey, look at this! Popick’s holding his own against two men right now! COLE Popick successfully able to defend against these shots from PRL and The Mad Cappa! PRL and Mad Cappa keep going for punches, but Popick continunely blocks them! He starts getting cocky, making faux-kung fu noises as he blocks the shots. The crowd becomes increasingly annoyed with Popick’s showboating, but Lindsay seems to be enjoying it. And she’s the only one enjoying it apparently. COACH Look at Popick! Two men! TWO men! And he’s defending against the both of them! Amazing! He is SO worthy of being World Heavyweight Champion! So worthy! Popick is relentless in his endless blocking of the shots. He laughs maniacally, now getting carried away. SJP sticks his tongue out and puts his thumb on his nose and then wiggles his fingers. He laughs maniacally. PRL and The Mad Cappa look at each other, and then look at Popick…and then punch him in the face at the same time! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE There we go! COACH AH! The Master Plan! PRL picks Popick up. He grabs him in a ¾ facelock. Diamond Cutter! COLE Lightning Strike! Tha Puerto Rican’s finisher when he wrestled in San Juan, Puerto Rico! Does it all come full circle here!? 1... 2... THE MAD CAPPA BREAKS UP THE PIN!!!! COLE No it does not! The Mad Cappa stopping the pinfall that time! The Mad Cappa takes a break to catch his breath. PRL and Popick recover on the mat. COACH This match has me on the edge of my seat! Just who is going to win! I hope it’s Popick! I hope it’s Popick! COLE All three men have gotta be out of it by now! But they’re still fighting. That’s what the World Heavyweight Title means to the three of them, and really, to EVERYONE in this business! Only one of these three will have the honour and priveledge of calling themselves World Heavyweight Champion after tonight is done with! Cappa picks Popick up and punches him in the face. TMC heads to a second ring rope, and then leaps onto Popick’s shoulders. Popick walks forward…The Mad Cappa gives Stephen Joseph Popick a hurricarana OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Oh my! Up and over go Cappa and Popick! Tha Puerto Rican is now standing alone in the ring! But not for long as Tha Puerto Rican decides to do some high flying of his own, exiting the ring and climbing the turnbuckle nearest to Mad Cappa and Popick. Puerto positions himself on the top rope, making sure that Popick and The Mad Cappa are on their feet first before doing anything. PRL is hunched over on the top rope. COLE What’s this? A high-risk move from Tha Puerto Rican? COACH Get out of the way, Popick! Get the hell out of the way! Tha Puerto Rican stands up on the top rope. SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO THE MAD CAPPA AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COACH AAH! YO~! COLE PRL strikes with a death defying manuever of his own! P.R., Mad Cappa, and Stephen Joseph all lie in a heap on the outside. “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” “HO-LEE SHIT!” COACH GET UP POPICK! COLE Popick, Mad Cappa, and now Tha Puerto Rican have all done high risk moves on the outside! And they’ve all felt the worst of it afterwards! COACH Popick’s down! Lindsay, check on him! But Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick just stands a few feet away and watches the pile of bodies on the floor. She frets for her husband. COLE The Champion and his two challengers are down! There’s no countout, so these three men have plenty of time to recover! We’ll be here all night if we have to. TSM has given us the overrun! PRL is sucking wind now. He slowly, very slowly gets back to his feet. COLE And now Tha Puerto Rican is getting back up. He did a phenomenal Shooting Star Press onto both Cappa AND Popick! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Tha Puerto Rican’s Shooting Star Press onto The Mad Cappa and Stephen Joseph Popick. Then again in slow motion. COLE Wow! Amazing move from an amazing athlete! PRL is not done yet in his quest to finally become the World Heavyweight Champion tonight on the New Year’s Spectacular! PRL is back to a vertical base. He picks Stephen Joseph Popick up and throws him back into the ring. PRL follows him. Suddenly the crowd starts booing. LOUDLY. Because Vitamin X is running to the ring! PRL stops him from entering by punching The X-Man repeatedly in the face! COACH Here comes The Lightning Crew! COLE Oh great. The Bone Thug makes his way into the ring, but PRL knocks him off of the ring apron! Mr. Boricua tries to enter, but PRL attacks him just as he puts his left foot into the ring. PRL fires with Rock-style punches to Mr. Boricua’s temple! Punch! Punch! Punch! NOW KISS THAT LEFT! Punch! Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall, so PRL takes a few steps back and then charges forward, bumping into Boricua causing him to hit the barricade! COLE The calvary is coming! Vitamin X! Mr. Boricua! The Bone Thug! Now Cuban Wall! Spanish Fly tries to get into the ring, but he quickly gets taken out with a left hand! Cuban Wall tries to enter, but PRL attacks him with rights and lefts, and then gives Wall the SWEET CHIN MUSIC, knocking him off of the ring apron! Thomas Rodriguez tries to enter the ring, but all Tha Puerto Rican has to do is lunge after him and that’s enough for Thomas to change his mind and stay on the outside! COLE We’ve got bodies lying everywhere! The Lightning Crew has been taken out single-handedly by Tha Puerto Rican! COACH STAND UP TROOPS! STAND UP! The crowd is going wild! PRL has taken out all the male members of The Lightning Crew! Lindsay tells Stephen that now is the perfect time to attack! Popick does so, clubbing PRL from behind! COLE And Popick taking the advantage! Tha Puerto Rican was an expert at using The Lightning Crew to his advantage for four years and now it’s Popick’s turn! COACH Yeah! Get him, Popick! Get ’im! Popick beats on PRL while the crowd chants, “PO-PICK SUCKS!” Popick stops to tell the crowd, “SHUT UP!” And then continues his attack, grabbing PRL by his right hand and giving him an Irish whip into the ropes--PRL reverses--Popick bounces off of the ropes… KICK WHAM STUNNER~! COLE The Cappa Killa! PRL with the move he stole from The Mad Cappa, The Cappa Killa! COACH He’s not going to win the World Heavyweight Title using Cappa’s move is he!? COLE He just might! The crowd is going nuts! Tha Puerto Rican quickly covers Stephen Joseph Popick! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick panics on the outside. The rest of The Lightning Crew (sans Princess Stacey and Thomas Rodriguez, who is still standing upright) is lying around the ringside area, still recovering from the shots PRL gave them. The Mad Cappa is also on the outside. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count, with the crowd counting along. COLE This could do it! 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! THE MAD CAPPA PULLS THA PUERTO RICAN OFF OF STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK!!!!!!!!! COLE Cappa stopped the pinfall! He prevented PRL from getting the win and the World Title RIGHT THERE! COACH Thank you, Cappa! I never thought I would say that again, but THANK YOU MAD CAPPA! The crowd is disappointed that PRL didn’t get the win, but not TOO disappointed, since Cappa is a face and all. PRL looks up at Cappa and scolds him for stopping the pinfall. The Mad Cappa yells at PRL for stealing his finishing move. COLE I don’t think Cappa appreciated PRL going for the win using his finisher! COACH Oh boy. Divide And Conquer, baby! Divide And Conquer! The crowd is getting antsy. PRL stands up and gets in The Mad Cappa’s face. P.R. starts jaw jacking with Cappa. COLE They’re spewing venom again! They haven’t exactly been partners in this match, but they’ve actually helped each other several times, albeit unintentionally! COACH And now they remember that they hate each other’s guts! This is great! COLE PRL and The Mad Cappa are nose-to-nose, while Stephen Joseph Popick remains on the mat! PRL and The Mad Cappa walk around the ring still yelling at each other. Cappa shoves PRL! PRL shoves Cappa! Cappa shoves back! PRL shoves back! The Mad Cappa SLAPS PRL across the face! COLE Oh boy! Things are getting heated right now! COACH They’re going to go at it again! Here we go! This will be good! PR clutches his left cheek, and then turns back to Mad Cappa. PR and TMC are face-to-face, nose-to-nose again. Both of their faces are red. Veins are bulging in both men. They yell at the top of their voices as the crowd anxiously awaits the beginning of the fisticuffs. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. Face-to-face. How many times since 2003 have we seen *this* particular scene? COACH Plenty, and we are seeing it again here tonight LIVE on the New Year’s Spectacular here in Monterrey, Mexico! PRL and The Mad Cappa are still jaw jacking. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick is on his side. He then slowly gets onto all fours. COLE P.R. and Cappa better be careful. There’s still a third man in this match-up! COACH Yeah, and he’s getting up! He’s getting up! PR and Mad Cappa are STILL yelling at each other in the ring. As they do this, Popick crawls around ringside, shaking the cobwebs out. COACH START PUNCHING EACH OTHER ALREADY! Stephen Joseph Popick sees PRL and The Mad Cappa arguing…and starts crawling towards them. COLE The Mad Cappa didn’t appreciate his finishing move being used by Tha Puerto Rican, and he’s telling him so right now! COACH I hope PRL slaps the taste out of Mad Cappa’s mouth. COLE Why? You like him again? COACH God no! It’s just that turnabout’s fairplay! Stephen Joseph rushes forward. COLE PRL and The Mad Cappa are still arguing and--Hey! Wait a minute! Popick shoves The Mad Cappa right into Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican hits a turnbuckle back-first HARD! Popick then grabs Cappa’s baggy style loose jeans and rolls him up, grabbing a hold of the jeans! COLE Popick has Cappa pinned! PR is still stunned following the collision with The Mad Cappa. He shakes the cobwebs out just as Earl Hebner makes the count. 1... PR comes to his senses. 2... PR sees Popick using a rollup on Mad Cappa. 2 ½ PR rushes forward. 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 PR jumps up… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (16:53) Popick immediately zooms out of the ring, so PRL ends up dropping a double axehandle onto the back of The Mad Cappa’s head! COLE No! Damnit! Popick escapes with the Title AGAIN! COACH The Master Plan WORKED! Divide And Conquer! It actually worked! Not like I was surprised! No way! But it worked! SUCCESS! Tha Puerto Rican slaps the mat repeatedly in frustration! Stephen Joseph stands in the aisleway, soon joined by his wife, Lindsay. He raises his hands in victory while smiling evilly as “Stronger” by Kanye West starts playing again. BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Worrrrrrrlllllllddddddddddddddddddddddddddd…STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK K! Earl Hebner hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over to Stephen Joseph. Popick kisses the belt and then hugs it. COLE Stephen Joseph Popick, the ultimate oppotunist, comes away with the victory, but he did so under suspicious circumstances! COACH How so? This was a Triple Threat Match! No disqualfications! No countouts! Popick played by the rules here! And not only that, but his game plan worked! The Master Plan was a success! Divide And Conquer, THAT’S what Popick did, and THAT’S why he’s STILL the World Heavyweight Champion! HA HA HA HA HA! COLE Sad as it is to say, you are absolutely right! Popick hoped that PRL and The Mad Cappa’s hatred for each other would hurt them in this match, and it ultimately did! And once again, Stephen Joseph retains the World Heavyweight Title on Tha Puerto Rican’s back! Stephen Joseph Popick raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand, and raises Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick’s left hand with his right hand. Lindsay raises the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt with her right hand. The crowd boos loudly. Someone throws a piece of crumpled up paper at Popick. The Mad Cappa slowly gets up, holding the back of his head in pain. PRL stands in the ring, glaring a hole through Popick. COLE Stephen Joseph, just like at November Reign, retains the World Heavyweight Title through the skin of his teeth. And just like at November Reign, he might have Tha Puerto Rican to thank for it! COACH Thank you, Puerto! Thank you for BLOWING IT AGAIN! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! And thanks to you, Mad Cappa, for showing that you can’t make it in the main event! Thanks to you too, Stephen Joseph Popick is STILL YOUR World Heavyweight Champion! I love it! COLE Yes, unfortunately, history DOES NOT repeat itself tonight! Stephen Joseph Popick leaves the 2008 New Year’s Spectacular STILL the World Heavyweight Champion! Stephen Joseph Popick does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture directed at PRL. He then flips The Mad Cappa two middle fingers. The Mad Cappa is on his knees, still holding the back of his head, and he is NOT in a good mood. He uses the second ring rope to help him up. PRL gives Popick the McMahon SNEER~! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick and Stephen Joseph Popick laugh evilly as “Stronger” continues playing. The Popicks kiss each other on the lips to really rub it in for Tha Puerto Rican. COLE There’s a sight that we thought that we would never see until November of last year. But it is reality, and it is Tha Puerto Rican’s reality. And also his reality is the fact that he will leave Mexico STILL WITHOUT the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title belt in his possession, and neither will The Mad Cappa! COACH Stephen Joseph and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick are STILL the ‘Golden Couple’ of the OAOAST! What a way to start off 2008 in style! Wooo! The Mad Cappa stands up, still holding the back of his head in pain. He stares at a gloating Stephen Joseph along with Tha Puerto Rican. PRL and The Mad Cappa look at each other, and then look back at Popick, who has slung the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and is taunting PRL and Cappa from the aisleway with Lindsay laughing and taunting along with him. A fan threatens to punch Popick, so Stephen lunges after him in response. COLE An amazing match. These three men fought for almost 17 minutes. Both Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa had the match won several times, but in the end, it was the reigning Champion, Stephen Joseph Popick, that got the victory and remains the top dog in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! The OAOAST New Year’s Spectacular 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Stephen Joseph Popick’s springboard clothesline onto Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. Cut to The Mad Cappa’s Springboard Side Swinging Moonsault onto Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican’s Shooting Star Press onto The Mad Cappa and Stephen Joseph Popick on the outside. COACH Okay, so, Stephen Joseph showed that he could hang with the high-flyers, PR and The Mad Cappa, with that BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL springboard clothesline on BOTH men at the same time! Then The Mad Cappa struck with his move, which I gotta admit was pretty impressive, a Springboard Side Swinging Moonsault, and then Tha Puerto Rican struck with his own move, a Shooting Star Press onto both Cappa and Popick. Not that impressive. I give it a 7. Cut to the ending of the match, starting with The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican arguing with each other while Stephen Joseph Popick crawls around the ring. COACH (CONT’D) But this was the best part! Cappa and PRL are arguing as usual, when who should appear but Stephen Joseph Popick! Popick shoves Cappa right into Tha Puerto Rican--BAM! He rolls him up! 1! 2! 3! Tha Puerto Rican is too late! Your winner, and STILL OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Stephen Joseph Popick! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! The OAOAST New Year’s Spectacular 2008 logo flashes across the screen again. Cut back to live action. Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick are walking back to the entrance, each one holding a title belt over their left and right shoulders respectively. They both laugh manically. The members of The Lightning Crew are starting to get back to their feet. Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa talk about the match that just took place, both in a VERY bad mood. COLE You forgot to mention that Popick pulled Cappa’s jeans. COACH That really was a small, minor detail. Popick was gonna win anyway. COLE That’s up for debate. If only Popick hadn’t pulled the jeans, and if Tha Puerto Rican was one second earlier… COACH Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, listen! We could spend all eternity arguing over the ‘What ifs’ and the ‘Why nots’! But then we’ll be here forever, and I dread the thought of spending all of eternity with YOU! So, let’s focus on the here and now. Mainly, that THAT man right there, not Tha Puerto Rican, not The Mad Cappa, is STILL the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! That man, Stephen Joseph Popick, with his lovely wife, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick by his side, who looks absolutely BANGIN’ tonight by the way! COLE The beautiful OAOAST Women’s Champion is still managing the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Stephen Joseph Popick leaves Mexico with the World Title belt STILL in his possession by hook or by crook! COACH The Master Plan was a success! COLE Indeed it was, Coach. Indeed it was. Popick wanted to ’Divide And Conquer’ and he did just that! He made Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa duke it out, and then swooped in for the kill! And as a result, we end this broadcast the same way that we have ended the past two special OAOAST events, with Stephen Joseph Popick raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in victory! Fans, thanks for tuning into our third annual New Year’s Spectacular! What a way to kick off 2008! For Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman, I’m Michael Cole saying so long from the Monterrey Arena in Monterrey, Mexico! We’ll see you back in the States next Thursday night at 8:00 p.m. EST/5:00 p.m. PST in San Antonio, Texas for another exciting edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! Until then, so long and have a Happy New Year everyone! Stephen Joseph Popick has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick has the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her right shoulder. The newlyweds stop before the entrance. Stephen Joseph Popick and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick raise their belts in the air again to LOUD boos. They both taunt the crowd and laugh manically, before kissing each other on the lips. Popick and Lindsay wave goodbye to PR and Mad Cappa. Lindsay blows a kiss to both men, and then jumps up so that her miniskirt lifts up a little, although nothing is shown due to the black skirt underneath it. The Popicks exit through the curtains, with the members of The Lightning Crew following them soon afterwards. Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa are still in the ring, going back and forth between staring at each other and staring at the entrance. Neither man is happy at all. The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican in the ring staring at the entrance while “Stronger” by Kanye West continues playing is the last image that we see as this years New Year’s Spectacular comes to a close. FADE TO BLACK Edited January 10, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2008 WRITTEN BY King Cucaracha Ed Wood Caulfield Alfdogg Tony149 GRAPHICS Patty O'Green Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY Anglesault Tony149 CWM DIRECTED BY Tony149 © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
