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Rob E Dangerously

World's Worst Wrestling returns

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limited because I'm just using a TNM7 SE trial

 

Anyways, here are the results (results booked with TNM7, rest made up by me)

 

Show #1

 

Before the matches begin, Commissioner Vickie Guerrero announces that all the titles have been vacated and a few were just created.

 

We start off with a tournament for the WWW Foreigner Title

 

[Round 1]: Abdullah the Butcher pinned Head Hunter A with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:10:30. Rating: *

[Round 1]: Charly Manson pinned Rory McAlister after a moonsault in 0:00:32. Rating: * 1/4

[Round 1]: Bushwhacker Butch pinned Colonel DeBeers after a faceslam in 0:13:37. Rating: -3/4*

[Round 1]: Darkside Abdullah pinned Bushwhacker Luke with the Darkside Elbow in 0:07:27. Rating: * 3/4

[Round 1]: Gronda pinned El Pantera after a spinebuster slam in 0:06:09. Rating: 1/2*

[Round 1]: Chessman pinned Head Hunter B with the Flying Legdrop in 0:09:32. Rating: **

[Round 1]: Rick Martel defeated Rory McAllister when Rory McAllister passed out in the Boston Crab in 0:06:57. Rating: *** 3/4

 

After the Martel match, Vickie Guerrero removed Martel from the tournament and ordered him to face Big Daddy V on the next show.

 

[Round 1]: Konnan pinned Ramstein after spinning headscissors in 0:04:53. Rating: *** 3/4

 

[Round 2]: Abdullah the Butcher pinned Charly Manson with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:07:16. Rating: 1/4*

[Round 2]: Darkside Abdullah pinned Bushwhacker Butch with the Darkside Elbow in 0:06:38. Rating: DUD

[Round 2]: Gronda pinned Chessman after a spinebuster slam in 0:04:37. Rating: -1/2*

[Round 2]: Konnan defeated The Mountie when The Mountie passed out in the Tequila Sunrise in 0:05:57. Rating: **** [Jimmy Hart interfered against Konnan.] (Rick Martel no-showed.)

 

After the match, Konnan and the Mountie were ordered to team up next week against Ahmed Johnson

 

[semi-Finals]: Abdullah the Butcher pinned Darkside Abdullah with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:03:01. Rating: 3/4*

[semi-Finals]: Gronda pinned Konnan with the Spear in 0:02:31. Rating: -1/4*

 

[Finals]: Gronda pinned Abdullah the Butcher with the Spear in 0:05:36. Rating: -*** 3/4

 

But before Gronda was going to get the belt, WWW Commissioner Vickie Guerrero declared that he must defeat one more challenger.

 

Match for the vacant WWW Foreigner Title:

Iron Sheik defeated Gronda when Gronda passed out in the Camel Clutch in 0:08:44.

Rating: -*** 1/2

(Iron Sheik won the WWW Foreigner Title.)

 

After the match, Hacksaw Jim Duggan made the save for Gronda, preventing the Sheik from making Gronda humble.

 

Four Corners Match for the vacant WWW Extreme Title:

Snitsky defeated The Sandman, Sabu and Rob Van Dam:

x Snitsky beat Sandman via a cobra clutch in 0:38:56

x Snitsky beat RVD via a pumphandle powerslam in 0:54:48

x Snitsky beat Sabu via the Faultless in 1:05:15

Rating: ****

(Snitsky won the WWW Extreme Title.)

 

Snitsky was punished after the match by being booked to face Abdullah the Butcher on the next show.

 

Sandman, Sabu, and RVD were booked in a match for the next show against The Big Show.

 

And we start a tournament for the WWW Tag Team Titles

 

[Round 1]: Daivari and Armando Alejandro Estrada defeated The Miz and John Morrison when Daivari pinned J. Morrison after a flying bodypress in 0:06:49. Rating: * 1/4

[Round 1]: Mickie James and Ted DiBiase Jr. defeated Porkchop Cash and Rhino when Mickie pinned Rhino after a springboard bulldog in 0:07:55. Rating: **

(Irwin R. Schyster no-showed.)

[Round 1]: Kurt Angle and Octagon defeated Los Cazadores de Cabezas (Head Hunter A and Head Hunter B) when K. Angle

defeated Head Hunter B via pinfall in 0:04:11. Rating: ** 1/4

[Round 1]: Meng and La Parka defeated Bad Company (Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond) when Parka pinned P. Tanaka with the Frankensteiner in 0:13:32. Rating: *** 1/2

 

[semi-Finals]: Daivari and Armando Alejandro Estrada defeated Mickie James and Ted DiBiase Jr. when Daivari pinned Mickie after a flying bodypress in 0:02:43. Rating: ** 1/2

 

After the match, Virgil came out to berate Dibiase Jr for not picking him.

 

[semi-Finals]: Meng and La Parka defeated Kurt Angle and Octagon when Parka pinned K. Angle with the Frankensteiner in 0:08:37. Rating: ** 1/4

 

[Finals]: Match for the vacant WWW Tag Team Titles:

Meng and La Parka defeated Daivari and Armando Alejandro Estrada when Parka pinned Daivari after a power bomb in 0:15:12.

Rating: ** 3/4

(Meng and La Parka won the WWW Tag Team Titles.)

 

And now we start a tournament for the Tag Team Titles

 

[Round 1]: The Great Khali pinned Maria after a kick to the head in 0:03:49. Rating: -*****

[Round 1]: Vince Russo pinned Festus after hitting him with a foreign object in 0:13:08. Rating: * 1/2

[Round 1]: Eric Bischoff pinned Jonathan Coachman with the Nightcap in 0:09:48. Rating: -** 3/4

[Round 1]: Macho Libre pinned The Zombie with the Flying Elbowdrop in 0:00:58. Rating: -*

[Round 1]: Pacman Jones pinned Ron Paul rEVOLution with the Football Tackle in 0:03:26. Rating: -**** 1/2

[Round 1]: Hornswoggle pinned Vince McMahon after a jumping DDT in 0:06:37. Rating: -1/4*

[Round 1]: Kamala pinned Funaki with the Air Africa in 0:04:31. Rating: * 1/2

[Round 1]: Kevin Federline pinned Jim Cornette with the Fed-Ex in 0:08:20. Rating: -*****

 

[Round 2]: The Great Khali defeated Vince Russo by countout in 0:02:24. Rating: 3/4*

[Round 2]: Eric Bischoff pinned Macho Libre with the Nightcap in 0:01:33. Rating: 3/4*

[Round 2]: Pacman Jones pinned Hornswoggle with the Football Tackle in 0:10:14. Rating: DUD [Ron Paul rEVOLution interfered against Pacman Jones.]

[Round 2]: Kevin Federline pinned Kamala with the Fed-Ex in 0:05:36. Rating: -**

 

[semi-Finals]: The Great Khali defeated Eric Bischoff via pinfall in 0:03:04. Rating: -** 1/2

[semi-Finals]: Kevin Federline pinned Pacman Jones with the Fed-Ex in 0:02:34. Rating: -* 3/4

 

After the match, Ron Paul rEVOLution came out to berate Pacman Jones, before Pacman's friend Kamala came out to tell Pacman about some racist newsletters written by RPR. RPR swears it was a ghostwriter who wrote "Pacman Jones is just another fool from Rapetown". Pacman was escorted away by police in order to protect all those involved.

 

[Finals]: Match for the vacant WWW Sports Entertainment Title:

The Great Khali pinned Kevin Federline after a kick to the head in 0:00:16.

Rating: -**** 1/2

(The Great Khali won the WWW Sports Entertainment Title.)

 

No-Countout-No-DQ-Four Corners Match for the vacant WWW Heavyweight Title:

Hulk Hogan defeated Randy Savage, Kevin Nash and Sid Vicious when Hogan pinned Nash after a clothesline in 0:00:33.

Rating: 1/4*

(Hulk Hogan won the WWW Heavyweight Title.)

 

And how about some highlights?

 

The Great Khali is going for the cover.

Tim White counts: One, two, shoulder up.

The Great Khali hits a hiptoss on Maria.

The Great Khali works the crowd.

The Great Khali is met with a "The Great Khali sucks" chant.

The Great Khali goes for a kick to the head, but Maria blocks it.

Maria executes a kick to the midsection on The Great Khali.

Maria executes a slap on The Great Khali.

Maria goes for a shoulderblock to the midsection, but The Great Khali counters it with a kneelift.

The Great Khali takes Maria down with a kick to the head.

You could hear a pin drop.

The Great Khali is going for the pin.

Tim White counts: One, two, three.

There are chants of 'boring, boring'.

 

The winner is The Great Khali. Time of match: 0:03:49

 

(..)

 

Festus executes a headbutt to the back on Vince Russo.

Chad Patton comes running down to the ring.

Festus nails Vince Russo with a slap.

Festus executes a headbutt to the back on Vince Russo.

Festus uses a headbutt to the back on Vince Russo.

Vince Russo takes the baseball bat and uses it on Festus.

He goes for the pin.

Chad Patton counts: One, two, three.

Festus complains about a fast count.

A wave of boos is going through the crowd.

 

The winner is Vince Russo. Time of match: 0:13:08

 

(..)

 

They lock up.

The Zombie goes for a punch, but Macho Libre reverses it.

Macho Libre nails The Zombie with a powerslam.

Earl Hebner counts: One, two, kickout.

Macho Libre yells, "OH YEAH!".

Macho Libre is starting to get under the crowd's skin.

Macho Libre takes The Zombie down with an inverted facelock elbowdrop.

Macho Libre hits a full nelson slam on The Zombie.

Macho Libre uses a low blow on The Zombie.

Macho Libre executes a bodyslam on The Zombie.

Macho Libre yells, "OH YEAH!".

The crowd is booing Macho Libre.

Macho Libre executes the Flying Elbowdrop on The Zombie.

Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three.

A wave of boos is going through the crowd.

 

The winner is Macho Libre. Time of match: 0:00:58

 

(..)

 

The Great Khali goes for a headbutt, but Vince Russo blocks it.

Vince Russo runs into the ropes.

The Great Khali hits Vince Russo with an elbow.

Vince Russo takes the baseball bat and uses it on The Great Khali.

A portion of the crowd is cheering Vince Russo.

He goes for the pin.

Charles Robinson counts: One, two, KICKOUT.

The Great Khali uses a side suplex on Vince Russo.

Vince Russo walks out for the countout.

You can hear a few scattered fans booing The Great Khali and a few others cheering him.

 

The winner is The Great Khali. Time of match: 0:02:24

 

(..)

 

They lock up.

Kevin Federline gives him a ropeburn, but The Great Khali doesn't budge.

The Great Khali hits Kevin Federline with a kick to the head.

The Great Khali covers Kevin Federline.

Mike Chioda counts: One, two, three.

A portion of the crowd is booing The Great Khali.

 

The winner is The Great Khali. Time of match: 0:00:16

 

(..)

 

They lock up.

Kevin Nash hits a side suplex on Hulk Hogan.

Kevin Nash uses a chop on Hulk Hogan.

Kevin Nash whips Hulk Hogan into the turnbuckle.

Kevin Nash whips Hulk Hogan into the ropes.

Hulk Hogan nails Kevin Nash with a clothesline.

Hulk Hogan covers Kevin Nash.

Danny Davis counts: One, two, Randy Savage doesn't make it in time... three.

The crowd is starting to get behind Hulk Hogan.

 

The winner is Hulk Hogan. Time of match: 0:00:33

 

And the card for the next show (which will be posted on this thread)

 

FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Hulk Hogan © v. Jerry Lawler

 

FOR THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE, NO COUNTOUTS

The Great Khali © v. Vince Russo

 

FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES

Meng and La Parka © v. Animal and The Barbarian

 

FOR THE EXTREME TITLE

Snitsky © v. Abdullah the Butcher

 

FOR THE FOREIGNER TITLE

Iron Sheik © v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

 

ALSO

Pacman Jones and Kamala v. Ron Paul rEVOLution and a partner

Rick Martel v. Big Daddy V

The Big Show v. Sandman, Sabu, and RVD

Ahmed Johnson v. Konnan and the Mountie

Mickie James v. Virgil

 

AND MORE

 

Presumably I will figure out how to kill the Visualizer soon.

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Vickie Guerrero starts the night off with a variety of annoucements

 

#1: Jerry Lawler has been barred from facing Hogan tonight

#2: The WWW has removed Animal from the tag team title match

#3: There will be an elimination chamber match to determine who faces Hogan

 

In the back, David Arquette is introduced as the newest WWW Superstar.

 

Elimination Match:

Eric Bischoff, Melina, Nailz and Shawn Stasiak beat David Arquette, Maria, The Godfather and Tommy Dreamer 4 falls to 2:

x Nailz beat Arquette via the Carotid Choke in 0:09:55

x Nailz beat Dreamer via an inside cradle in 0:21:34

x Godfather beat Melina via the Death Valley Driver in 0:23:36

x Godfather beat Shawn via disqualification in 0:27:57

x Nailz beat Maria via the Carotid Choke in 0:38:21

x E. Bishoff beat Godfather via a side headlock in 0:45:25

Survivors: Eric Bischoff, Nailz

Rating: -1/4*

 

Kevin Federline sends in a tape to announce that he was injured by the Great Khali. Federline announces that he has gathered the money he got from his singing career to offer a bounty of $3000 on the head of the Great Khali.

 

Handicap-Match:

The Big Show defeated Sabu, The Sandman and Rob Van Dam when Show pinned RVD with the Showstopper in 0:02:48.

Rating: ** 1/4

 

Vicki Guerrero berated Sabu, Sandman, and Van Dam for their match, and announced that they will face Kane on the next show.

 

Big Daddy V pinned Rick Martel after a sidewalk slam in 0:02:42.

Rating: * 1/2

 

Mickie James pinned Virgil with the Tornado DDT in 0:03:42.

Rating: ** 1/2

 

Vicki Guerrero announced that the next show would have a Mickie James/Ted DiBiase v. Virgil/IRS Coal Miners Glove on a pole match.

 

The RPR announced that his new partner proves how non-racist he is, then he introduces Colonel DeBeers as his partner.

 

Pacman Jones and Kamala defeated Colonel DeBeers and Ron Paul rEVOLution when Pacman pinned Ron Paul Revolution after a powerslam in 0:00:32.

Rating: -1/4*

 

The Iron Sheik correctly points out that Jim Duggan is not a foreigner, therefore making his match a non-title match.

 

Iron Sheik defeated Jim Duggan by disqualification in 0:06:30. Rating: -1/2*

[b. Brian Blair interfered against Iron Sheik.]

 

Blair's appearance startles and angers the Sheik, but then the Sheik is also ambushed by Gronda, who challenges the Sheik for a match on the next card.

 

Handicap-Match: Konnan and The Mountie defeated Ahmed Johnson when Mountie made A. Johnson submit to the Carotid Control Technique in 0:02:08.

Rating: ***

 

Vicki Guerrero announces that Konnan and the Mountie will face the team of Eric Bischoff, Nailz and Shawn Stasiak as a punishment for their good match.

 

Kevin Nash was found asleep in his dressing room and the WWW officials scratched him from his tag match with Santino.

 

Maria and Santino Marella defeated Nikolai Volkoff and Oklahoma when S. Marella pinned Volkoff with the Rolling Cutter in 0:07:59.

Rating: -** 1/4

(Kevin Nash no-showed.)

 

Volkoff was angry after the match and challenged Marella to a singing contest on the next show.

 

Sting pinned Randy Savage with the Scorpion Death Drop in 0:01:12.

Rating: * 1/2

[Vince McMahon interfered against Randy Savage.]

 

Vince McMahon's interference caused Savage's loss. Vince stormed off and refused to talk about Savage.

 

No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Abdullah the Butcher pinned Snitsky with the Sudanese Elbowdrop in 0:05:12.

Rating: -* 1/4

(Abdullah the Butcher won the WWW Extreme Title.)

[The Sandman interfered against Snitsky.]

 

Vicki Guerrero responded to this by removing the Sandman from his match with Kane, and putting him against Snitsky and Festus on the next show.

 

Tajiri pinned The Undertaker after hitting him with a road sign in 0:01:48.

Rating: **

[Tank Abbott interfered against The Undertaker.]

 

Tank Abbott yelled at the Undertaker and pulled a knife before we went to a commercial.

 

Meng and La Parka defeated The Barbarian and Vader when Meng pinned Barbarian ith the Tongan Death Grip in 0:11:34.

Rating: ***

(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)

 

Vicki Guerrero just isn't having a good night. She declares that Meng and La Parka are "on notice" and that they will face special opponents on the next show.

 

Umaga and Samoa Joe are shown preparing for "The Battle of Samoa"

 

Umaga pinned Samoa Joe with the Samoan Spike in 0:00:09.

Rating: *

 

Cactus Jack got lost driving to the arena, and Vicki made MVP the partner of Hornswoggle

 

Hornswoggle and Montel Vontavious Porter defeated The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) when Hornswoggle pinned Violent J with the Tadpole Splash in 0:03:24.

Rating: ** 1/4

(Cactus Jack no-showed.)

 

MVP turned on Hornswoggle after the match, and Finlay ran out for the save.

 

Vince Russo pinned The Great Khali after an eye poke in 0:00:58.

Rating: -1/4*

(Vince Russo won the WWW Sports Entertainment Title.)

 

In a flagarantly fixed match, Vince Russo wins back the Sports Entertainment title and aligns with the Great Khali.

 

Someone wakes up Kevin Nash in time for his title match.

 

A wrestler wearing an Abe Lincoln mask is shown preparing for the match.

 

The Ultimate Warrior even showed up for some reason.

 

Elimination Chamber Match:

Randy Savage won a 4-man Elimination Chamber Match:

x Lincoln and Nash started out.

x Lincoln defeated Nash after a jack-knife power bomb in 0:01:33

x The Ultimate Warrior entered at 0:02:00

x Randy Savage entered at 0:04:00

x Savage defeated Lincoln after the Flying Elbowdrop in 0:06:10

x Savage defeated U. Warrior after an inside cradle in 0:13:26

Rating: ** 1/2

Click here to see highlights.

 

Hulk Hogan pinned Randy Savage after a clothesline in 0:03:18.

Rating: * 1/2

(Hulk Hogan retained the WWW Heavyweight Title.)

 

After the match, Hogan celebrated, but then the Great Khali came out and put Hogan in the claw hold. Leading to a fracas.

 

And here are highlights

 

They lock up.

Pacman Jones throws Ron Paul rEVOLution out of the ring.

Chad Patton counts: one, two, three, Ron Paul rEVOLution reenters the ring.

Pacman Jones executes a diving elbowsmash on Ron Paul rEVOLution.

A fan at ringside badmouths Pacman Jones.

Pacman Jones nails Ron Paul rEVOLution with a powerslam.

Chad Patton counts: One, two, three.

Pacman Jones is eliciting a sizable round of boos.

 

The winners are Pacman Jones and Kamala. Time of match: 0:00:32

 

(...)

 

Jim Duggan takes Iron Sheik down with a clothesline.

Jim Duggan is going for the cover.

Earl Hebner counts: One, two, in the ropes...

Jim Duggan runs into the ropes.

Iron Sheik hits Jim Duggan with a clothesline.

Jim Duggan falls out of the ring.

Iron Sheik goes outside.

Earl Hebner counts: 1.

Iron Sheik throws Jim Duggan back into the ring.

Iron Sheik executes the Camel Clutch on Jim Duggan.

Jim Duggan is inching his way towards the ropes.

Jim Duggan tries to fight the pain.

B. Brian Blair enters the ring and breaks the hold.

Earl Hebner calls for the DQ.

The crowd is vociferously booing Iron Sheik.

 

The winner is Iron Sheik. Time of match: 0:06:30

 

(..)

 

Randy Savage runs into the ropes.

Vince McMahon hits Randy Savage in the back with a chair.

Jimmy Korderas threatens Sting with disqualification.

Sting gives the sign for the Scorpion Death Drop.

Sting executes the Scorpion Death Drop on Randy Savage.

The crowd is starting to get behind Sting.

Sting goes for the pin.

Jimmy Korderas counts: One, two, three.

Sting has the crowd going wild.

 

The winner is Sting. Time of match: 0:01:12

 

(..)

 

Tajiri goes for a flying dropkick, but The Undertaker ducks out of the way.

Tank Abbott throws Tajiri a road sign.

Tajiri hits The Undertaker with it and goes for the pin.

Tim White counts: One, two, three.

Tajiri is being booed like there is no tomorrow.

 

The winner is Tajiri. Time of match: 0:01:48

 

(..)

 

They lock up.

Umaga gives the sign for the Samoan Spike.

Umaga executes the Samoan Spike on Samoa Joe.

Quite a few boos are audible.

Umaga goes for the pin.

Jack Doan counts: One, two, three.

Umaga is starting to get under the crowd's skin.

 

The winner is Umaga. Time of match: 0:00:09

 

(..)

 

The Ultimate Warrior goes for a Gorilla Press, but Randy Savage slides down his

back.

Randy Savage hits an inside cradle on The Ultimate Warrior.

Mike Chioda counts: One, two, three.

The Ultimate Warrior complains about a fast count.

The Ultimate Warrior has been eliminated.

The crowd is on its feet cheering for Randy Savage.

 

The winner is Randy Savage. Time of match: 0:13:26

 

(..)

 

Hulk Hogan goes for a bodyslam, but Randy Savage counters it with

a small package.

James Beard counts: One, two, KICKOUT.

Hulk Hogan whips Randy Savage into the ropes.

Randy Savage goes for a clothesline, but Hulk Hogan ducks out of the way.

Hulk Hogan takes Randy Savage down with a clothesline.

Hulk Hogan covers Randy Savage.

James Beard counts: One, two, three.

There are lots of chants for Hulk Hogan.

 

The winner is Hulk Hogan. Time of match: 0:03:18

 

And now for the next card

 

MAIN EVENT

Hulk Hogan and Sting v. The Great Khali and Kevin Nash

 

FOR THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE

Vince Russo © v. Pacman Jones

 

FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES

Meng and La Parka © v. Vicki Guerrero's Special Team

 

FOR THE EXTREME TITLE, IN A CAR KEYS LADDER MATCH (Winner gets Ric Flair's car keys)

Abdullah the Butcher © v. Ric Flair

 

FOR THE FOREIGNER TITLE

Iron Sheik © v. Gronda

 

ALSO

Finley and Hornswoggle v. MVP and the ICP

Coal Miner's Glove on a Pole: Mickie James and Ted Dibiase Jr v. IRS and Virgil

Tank Abbott and Tajiri v. The Undertaker

Snitsky and Festus v. The Sandman

Sabu and RVD v. Kane

Konnan and the Mountie v. Bischoff, Nailz, and Shawn Stasiak

Brian Blair and Jim Duggan v. Bad Company

 

AND MORE! BE THERE!

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On to the Show!

 

Vickie Guerrero announced that this show would have a lot more gimmick matches, so there.

 

Two-out-of-three-Falls Match With Captain's Rules: Bad Company (Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond) beat B. Brian Blair and Jim Duggan 2 falls to 0:

x P. Tanaka beat B. Blair via a cobra clutch in 0:04:52

Rating: *

 

After the match, the Iron Sheik made threats against B. Brian Blair

 

Vickie Guerrero announced that the following match will have a lifetime WWE contract available for the winners.

 

Handicap-Ladder Match:

Eric Bischoff, Shawn Stasiak and Nailz defeated The Mountie and Konnan in 0:15:12.

Rating: * 3/4

 

Vickie Guerrero announced that giving Sabu and RVD the man advantage seemed to be counterproductive, so she changed the match

 

Handicap-Cage Match:

Sabu and Rob Van Dam defeated Kane, King Kong Bundy and Koko B. Ware by escaping the cage in 0:09:12.

Rating: ** 1/4

 

After the match, the announcement came that next week, Sabu will face the Ultimate Warrior, and Rob Van Dam will face King Kong Bundy.

 

a drunken Sandman persauded Festus and Snitsky to change their match.

 

Table No-Countout-No-DQ-Number-One-Contenders-Triangle Match:

Festus defeated The Sandman and Snitsky:

x Snitsky beat Sandman via putting him through a table in 0:02:57

x Festus beat Snitsky via putting him through a table in 0:06:17

Rating: *

 

Handicap-I-Quit Match:

Tank Abbott and Tajiri defeated The Undertaker when Abbott defeated Undertaker when Undertaker passed out in the Forearm Choke in 0:05:59.

Rating: ** 1/2

 

After the match, Kane ran out and turned heel on the Undertaker, declaring "Tank Abbott is my new father!"

 

Jim Brunzell shocks Brian Blair and the world by aligning with the Iron Sheik.

 

No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Towel Match:

Iron Sheik (w/Jim Brunzell) defeated Gronda (w/B. Brian Blair) with a side headlock in 0:08:38.

Rating: -*** 1/4

(Iron Sheik retained the WWW Foreigner Title.)

 

After the match, Brunzell challenged Brian Blair to a match where the loser would spend five minutes in a booth filled with killer bees.

 

Handicap-Match:

Finlay and Hornswoggle defeated The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) and Montel Vontavious Porter when Finlay pinned Shaggy with the Celtic Cross in 0:08:14.

Rating: ** 1/4

 

Finlay was booked to face Jake the Snake in a "Whiskey Bottle on a Pole" match on the next show.

 

Brass Knux On A Pole No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Irwin R. Schyster and Virgil defeated Mickie James and Ted DiBiase Jr. when I.R.S. made Mickie submit to the Penalty in 0:06:15.

Rating: **

[Ted Dibiase interfered against Mickie James.]

 

After the match, Ted Dibiase derided Mickie James and instructed his son to take on Savio Vega to recapture the Million Dollar Title.

 

Car No-Time-Limit-No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:

Abdullah the Butcher defeated Ric Flair in 0:15:41.

Rating: ** 1/2

(Abdullah the Butcher retained the WWW Extreme Title.)

 

David Arquette came out after the match and challenged Abdullah to a match.

 

David Arquette pinned Abdullah the Butcher with the Diamond Cutter in 0:06:52.

Rating: 1/4*

 

But much to Arquette's surprise, he did not randomly request a title match, therefore he did not win the title.

 

And much to Ric Flair's surprise, because he lost, he's retired!

 

Four Corners Match:

Randy Orton defeated Umaga, Samoa Joe and Jeff Hardy:

x Umaga beat Joe via the Samoan Spike in 0:00:30

x J. Hardy beat Umaga via the Swanton Bomb in 0:01:27

x R. Orton beat J. Hardy via a chinlock in 0:03:48

Rating: ** 1/2

 

Vickie Guerrero announced that she had three favorite teams for Meng and La Parka.

 

Meng and La Parka defeated The Bolsheviks (Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov) when Meng pinned Volkoff with the Tongan Death Grip in 0:12:42.

Rating: ** 1/4

(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)

Click here to see highlights.

 

Meng and La Parka defeated The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags) when Parka pinned Sags after a power bomb in 0:03:17.

Rating: ** 1/2

(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)

 

Meng and La Parka defeated Mando Guerrero and Hector Guerrero when Parka defeated M. Guerrero by disqualification in 0:00:43.

Rating: *

(Meng and La Parka retained the WWW Tag Team Titles.)

[Domino interfered against La Parka.]

 

Deuce and Domino beat on Meng and La Parka, until the Honky Tonk Man ran out to clear the ring.

 

Handicap-Iron Man Match:

Triple H beat Mikey, Kenny Dykstra, Nicky, Johnny and Mitch 1 falls to 0:

x Triple H beat Johnny via pinfall in 0:07:49

x time limit expired (Triple H and K. Dykstra) in 0:10:00

Rating: * 1/4

 

Triple H hailed his new modesty by only beating five men in a handicap match by a 1-0 margin. Then he challenged the Spirit Squad and the Dungeon of Doom to an ironman match next week.

 

Pacman Jones pinned Vince Russo after hitting him with a keyboard in 0:03:11.

Rating: ** 1/4

(Pacman Jones won the WWW Sports Entertainment Title.)

[Papa Shango interfered against Vince Russo.]

 

Kevin Federline hailed his new friend Papa Shango as "the man who cured my injuries"

 

Kamala pinned Petey Williams with the Air Africa in 0:01:22.

Rating: *

 

Pacman Jones throws a massive stripper party in the back, and then the cops show up to start arresting people.

 

Randy Savage is unsure why Vince McMahon hates him.

 

The Rock pinned Randy Savage after hitting him with a baseball bat in 0:04:58.

Rating: ** 1/2

[Vince McMahon interfered against Randy Savage.]

 

After the match, Nailz and the Ultimate Warrior offer their services to Randy Savage to go after Vince.

 

The Great Khali and Kevin Nash defeated Hulk Hogan and Sting when Khali made Hogan submit to a clawhold in 0:14:47.

Rating: -* 1/2

 

And time for highlights

 

Eric Bischoff tries to climb the ladder.

Eric Bischoff is on his way up.

Eric Bischoff is half-way up.

Eric Bischoff is almost on top of the ladder.

Eric Bischoff is in grabbing distance.

Eric Bischoff has retrieved the lifetime contract with the WWE.

Eric Bischoff is starting to get more cheers than boos.

 

The winners are Eric Bischoff, Shawn Stasiak and Nailz. Time of match: 0:15:03

 

(..)

 

Tank Abbott executes the Forearm Choke on The Undertaker.

The Undertaker is valiantly trying to break the hold.

The Undertaker is barely hanging in there.

Rudy Charles checks The Undertaker's arm.

He lifts it... it falls.

He lifts it... it falls.

He lifts it... it falls.

Rudy Charles stops the match after 19 seconds.

There are lots of chants for Tank Abbott.

 

The winners are Tank Abbott and Tajiri. Time of match: 0:05:59

 

(..)

 

Iron Sheik gets a side headlock on Gronda.

Gronda summons one last burst of energy.

B. Brian Blair throws in the towel after 13 seconds.

Iron Sheik further incites the crowd.

 

The winner is Iron Sheik. Time of match: 0:08:36

 

(..)

 

Ted Dibiase hits Mickie James in the back with a chair.

Irwin R. Schyster executes the Penalty on Mickie James.

Mickie James is struggling to reach the ropes.

Mickie James is valiantly trying to break the hold.

Mickie James is inching her way towards the ropes.

Mickie James tries to fight the pain.

Mickie James submits after 19 seconds.

Irwin R. Schyster further incites the crowd.

 

The winners are Irwin R. Schyster and Virgil. Time of match: 0:06:15

 

(..)

 

Ric Flair runs into the ropes.

Abdullah the Butcher takes Ric Flair down with a bodyslam.

Abdullah the Butcher tries to put Ric Flair in the Car.

Abdullah the Butcher stuffs Ric Flair in the Car.

Abdullah the Butcher closes the lid.

Abdullah the Butcher further incites the crowd.

 

The winner is Abdullah the Butcher. Time of match: 0:15:31

 

(..)

 

They lock up.

Samoa Joe goes for a Yakuza kick, but Jeff Hardy counters it with a legsweep.

Jeff Hardy tags out to Umaga.

Umaga hits Samoa Joe with a dropkick.

Umaga is going for the pin.

Nick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.

Umaga executes the Samoan Spike on Samoa Joe.

Umaga goes for the pin.

Nick Patrick counts: One, two, three.

 

Samoa Joe has been eliminated.

Umaga is starting to get under the crowd's skin.

 

The winner is Umaga. Time of match: 0:00:30

 

They lock up.

Randy Orton tags out to Umaga.

Umaga goes for a torture rack neckbreaker, but Jeff Hardy blocks it.

Jeff Hardy whips Umaga into the ropes.

Umaga misses with a clothesline.

Umaga misses with a kick.

Jeff Hardy misses with a kick.

Umaga goes for a clothesline, but Jeff Hardy counters it with a crucifix.

Nick Patrick counts: One, two, kickout.

Jeff Hardy nails Umaga with the Ace Crusher.

A small "Jeff Hardy" chant is being started.

Jeff Hardy executes the Swanton Bomb on Umaga.

Nick Patrick counts: One, two, in the ropes...

Jeff Hardy executes the Swanton Bomb on Umaga.

Nick Patrick counts: One, two, three.

Umaga has been eliminated.

 

(..)

 

Randy Orton puts Jeff Hardy in a chinlock.

Jeff Hardy is valiantly trying to break the hold.

Jeff Hardy is inching his way towards the ropes.

Jeff Hardy may have passed out.

Nick Patrick checks Jeff Hardy's arm.

He lifts it... it falls.

He lifts it... it falls.

He lifts it... it falls.

Nick Patrick stops the match after 46 seconds.

Jeff Hardy has been eliminated.

The crowd is vociferously booing Randy Orton.

 

The winner is Randy Orton. Time of match: 0:03:48

 

(..)

 

Deuce 'N Domino come to ringside.

Mando Guerrero goes for a spinning backbreaker, but La Parka counters it with

spinning headscissors.

La Parka has the crowd going wild.

La Parka runs into the ropes.

Domino hits La Parka in the back with a chair.

Mike Sparks calls for the DQ.

The crowd is going crazy.

 

The winners are Meng and La Parka. Time of match: 0:00:43

 

(..)

 

Papa Shango throws Pacman Jones a keyboard, but Vince Russo intercepts it.

Vince Russo tries to use it, but Pacman Jones blocks the blow and

takes it away from him.

Pacman Jones hits Vince Russo with it and goes for the pin.

Danny Davis counts: One, two, three.

Pacman Jones seemingly enjoys the boos.

 

The winner is Pacman Jones. Time of match: 0:03:11

 

(..)

 

They lock up.

Kamala hits Petey Williams.

You can hear a few scattered fans booing Kamala.

Kamala kicks Petey Williams.

Kamala executes a chop on Petey Williams.

Kamala takes Petey Williams down with a chop.

Kamala hits a roundhouse right on Petey Williams.

Kamala punches Petey Williams.

The crowd doesn't seem to care.

Kamala kicks Petey Williams.

There is no crowd reaction.

Petey Williams kicks Kamala.

The crowd is starting to get behind Petey Williams.

Petey Williams executes the Canadian Destroyer on Kamala.

A small "Petey Williams" chant is being started.

Petey Williams goes for the pin.

Mike Chioda counts: One, two, shoulder up.

Petey Williams goes for an enzuigiri, but Kamala ducks out of the way.

Kamala takes Petey Williams down with a chop.

Kamala whips Petey Williams into the ropes.

Kamala hits Petey Williams with an elbow.

Kamala executes the Air Africa on Petey Williams.

Mike Chioda counts: One, two, three.

You could hear a pin drop.

 

The winner is Kamala. Time of match: 0:01:22

 

UPCOMING EVENTS

 

THE NEXT CARD

 

MAIN EVENT, Elimination match:

Hulk Hogan, Papa Shango, and Kevin Federline

vs.

The Great Khali, Vince Russo, and Kevin Nash

 

FOR THE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TITLE

Pacman Jones © v. Randy Savage

 

FOR THE TAG TEAM TITLES

Meng and La Parka © v. Umaga and Samoa Joe

 

FOR THE EXTREME TITLE

Abdullah the Butcher © v. Bob Backlund

 

ANNNND

 

The Iron Sheik and Jim Brunzell v. Jim Duggan and B. Brian Blair

Sabu v. The Ultimate Warrior

Rob Van Dam v. King Kong Bundy

FOR THE MILLION DOLLAR TITLE: Savio Vega © v. Ted Dibiase Jr.

Triple H v. the Dungeon of Doom and the Spirit Squad in a 10 on 1 match

Tank Abbott and Kane v. The Undertaker and a partner

David Arquette and Festus v. Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman

Deuce and Domino v. The Honky Tonk Man and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine

 

Plus appearances by John Cena, Mr. Kennedy, Shawn Michaels, and more

 

THE ULTIMATE RUMBLE

 

DOUBLE MAIN EVENT

 

MAIN EVENT #1

 

THREE 15 MAN ELIMINATION CHAMBERS

 

The winners will get a present for winning the match.

 

One present is a shot at the WWW Heavyweight title

One present is a shot at the WWW Sports Entertainment title

One present is a trip to Guantanamo Bay

 

WHO WILL GET WHAT THEY WANT THIS HOLIDAY SEASON?

 

MAIN EVENT #2

For the WWW Heavyweight title

Hulk Hogan © v. The Great Khali

 

LOSER SPENDS FIVE MINUTES IN A BOOTH WITH KILLER BEES

B. Brian Blair v. Jim Brunzell

 

AND MORE!

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