HD: Leon/Maggie/Melody/CAE/LSGS/D*LUX/Jade

[King Cucaracha 0]

Having returned from their combined coffee run, the happy couple that is Leon Rodez and Maggie Nerdly are just approaching their locker room door as we get backstage. I say 'their' because Maggie isn't actually a wrestler, so doesn't need a locker room. (She's the interviewer one, for those struggling to keep score at home.) Before they can enter the locker room though, Maggie suddenly stops Leon short of grabbing the door handle, which obviously confuses him to no end.

MAGGIE
Leon, wait...

LEON
What? Don't tell me, somebody you just HAVE to interview or else you'll lose the scoop to Josh. [i]Damn pretty boy.[/i]

MAGGIE
No, no. It's just... well, it's about my family. We're beginning to get closer and I'm really enjoying spending time with you, but they're gonna want to meet you sooner or later and it's gonna be awkward. They're all really chill people, don't get me wrong... well, except Abdullah, but ya know, he's adopted. It's just that... well, it's just that, the Nerdlys, we're... all [i]giant[/i] dorks! It's really quite a coincidence, considering our last name is Nerdly and so many of my brothers and sisters are Nerds. But, they are. Really and truly.

Leon just stares at Maggie.

LEON
You don't say.

Leon again goes to open the door, but is again held from doing so.

MAGGIE
Look, Melody arranged a big party, to celebrate The Gunslingers winning the Tag Team Titles. And MARV and MEL are gonna be there and she just insisted that I invite you along, but I was all like "he might be busy, he is one half of the WORLD Six-Man Tag Team Champions after all" and then she just kinda laughed for some reason and said she'd hold the party here to make things easier. They wanna analyse you, like some sorta bio-chemical thingy, or something. I just don't know if I'm ready for this yet.

LEON
Would you relax? First off, I've been in this place with your brothers for about four years now. I've rode to shows with them. Long car journeys. [i]Long[/i]. And besides, I'm the king of cool. Infact, I'm so cool, some of my coolness might just rub off on them.

And with that, Leon opens the door to the communal locker room with a friendly "HEY!". Not much of a vocal reaction comes back though as everyone in the room is busy partying. Well, I say 'partying'. D*LUX members Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant are locked in a heated battle of Texas Hold 'Em with Texas' favourite sons, the One And Only World Tag Team Champions The Lone Star Gunslingers. Disinterested in all this is Jade Rodez, sat back reading a copy of Us Magazine on loan from Krista Isadora Duncan, thus carrying various bits of grafitti. And across the room, sat hunched over a fancy slimline PS2, Melody Nerdly and her brothers MARV and MEL are completely oblivious to the real world around them. Upon taking this sight in, poor Maggie sighs.

LEON
Wow, quite a gathering huh? Would you look at all the gold in here? Tag Titles, 6-Man Tag Titles, Angle Awards. It's like being one of Mr T's chest hairs, I'm surrounded by it!

SHAYNE
Haha, I love Mr T!

TYLER
Yeah, A-Team man. Totally cool.

LEON
Ah, to be young and have my finger on the pulse of pop culture again.

JADE (off-screen)
[i]Again[/i]?

LEON
(ignoring the snide comment)
So, some party, you guys really kno...

Trailing off on mid-sentence, Leon seems to notice the Nerdly siblings for the first time. Or, more specifically, what they're doing. Melody sits down next to Jade and rubs her forehead, sensing a migraine coming on all of a sudden.

LEON
Oh my God...

MAGGIE
I knew it.

LEON
...that is the most AWESOME OAOAST Fire Pro edit I have seen in my LIFE!!

MAGGIE
Say what?

Maggie looks up to see the limited graphic quality versions of MARV and MEL on screen, battling it out in their own virtual HeldDOWN~! arena with Melody's choice of character, Frank Bruiser. The two brothers seem to be unfairly targetting their sister, mainly because it's the only way they can stand to beat her, judging by the counter she pulls off on MEL before suplexing him out of the customised ring.

MELODY
Oh my God, you play Fire Pro?

LEON
"Do I play Fire Pro", she asked. I'll tell you what, I've never played a Fire Pro game that looked half as good as that. You even got the logo!

MELODY
Sh-yeah! It took me eight hours. Totally worth it!

LEON
I'll say! That may well be the most beautiful thing I've seen in my entire life.

Yes, Maggie IS still in the room, for those wondering.

LEON
Tell you what, I've got next.

MEL/MARV/LSGS/D*LUX/JADE
FINE!

TYLER
She already beat us.

JOCK
(pointing to Baron)
Three times.

SHAYNE
She beat me with Conquistador Dos. [i]Badly[/i].

MELODY
Don't mess yourself there hotshot, me and the Champs are due out in the arena pretty soon. So your ritual pe-owning will have to wait for some other time. But I'll hit you up with the link for downloading the edit if you want, so you can at least practise before said pe-owning. Dead simple. Alls you gotta do is just clink the link, download, if you're on a half-decent dial-up it shouldn't take any time at all really.

LEON
Okay, then what do I do?

MELODY
You got Action Replay Max?

LEON
Of course!

MELODY
Great. Extract the .max files to the thumbdrive, place the AR Max CD into the PS2 along with the drive and a memory card. Go to memory management, extract the file from the drive to the memory card and then 'uncrush' the file so it's in the correct format. Then you load up Fire Pro and copy the data from the relevant screen in the game.

As every other eye in the room glazes over, Leon is somehow still coherent and actually nodding in agreement.

LEON
Alright, cool. Hit me up with the link on AIM some time.

MELODY
K!

Right on cue, Melody CRITICALs! MARV and casually skips off to go get changed before going out into the arena. MEL and MARV dejectedly pack up the PS2, all watched by a confused looking Maggie and an only half-interested Jade.

MAGGIE
What just happened?

JADE
You just met my brother. Enjoy your life together. (sadly) Oh, Britney. Just shoot the porn movie and let us get on with our lives.

LEON
(walking over)
See, I told you I'd get along fine with everyone!

Smiling to herself, Maggie relaxes back, looking at the picture Jade is stuck on in her glossy mag and cringing a little.

Edited January 17, 2008 by King Cucaracha