HD: The Mad Cappa vs. Stephen Joseph Popick

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

You know where to stick it!

 

“Work it[i]make it[/i]do it[i]makes us[/i]harder[i]better[/i]faster[i]stronger[/i]”

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The pulsating beat of “Stronger” by Kanye West alerts the crowd that the World Heavyweight Champion of the OAOAST is coming out, which causes the crowd to start booing loudly. White pyro comes cascading down over the entrance doors, blanketing the entrance. When the pyro disappears, Stephen Joseph Popick is on the entrance stage, his back turned to the fans, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. Popick’s arms are outstretched in a crucifix position. 

[b]“I NEED YA RIGHT NOW!”[/b] 

*PYRO~!*
*PYRO~!*
*PYRO~!*
*PYRO~!*
*PYRO~!*

Stephen Joseph turns around, a wide sinister smile on his face. He plays to the jeering audience, each one letting Popick know exactly how they feel about him. He points to both sides of the arena, and then points to the entrance. The entrance doors slide open, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick comes out, the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt over her right shoulder as usual. Lindsay smiles evilly, and then kisses her hubby on the lips. Arms linked, the happy couple walks down the entrance ramp as “Stronger” continues playing and the crowd boos. 

*DING DING DING*

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with TV time remaining. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and wife, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Women’s Champion, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. From Atlanta, Georgia. Weighing in at 225 lbs. He is the leader of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation and the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the wooooorrrrllllllllllldddddddddddddd! STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Popick taunts the fans who dare try to touch him or his wife. He laughs evilly. 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick set for in-ring action tonight on HeldDOWN~! And tonight has gone his way! Tha Puerto Rican is the #1 entrant in the Lethal Rumble Match, and not only that, but there is a $1 million bounty on Tha Puerto Rican’s head! The person who eliminates Tha Puerto Rican in the Lethal Rumble will get $1 million straight from Vitamin X’s bank account! 

COACH
It is the best way to ensure that Tha Puerto Rican DOES NOT leave Anglepalooza the #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Title! EVERYBODY in that match will want that $1 million prize! Tha Puerto Rican has No Chance In Hell of winning the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza! 

COLE
Also earlier tonight, we saw that BOGUS match between PRL and Vitamin X take place! PRL was beaten down by the ’Corporation’. It was all a trap! 

COACH
And a BEAUTIFUL trap at that! Popick said that PRL and The Mad Cappa would experience ’Corporate Hell’ tonight, and he’s been a man of his word thus far! 

Popick points a menacing finger at a fan, and then jogs up the ring steps. After stopping to pose again, Stephen Joseph scales the turnbuckle closest to him and puts one leg on the top ring rope. He scans the crowd, presumably to find any Popick fans in the crowd, and he has little luck in finding them in this audience. Still Popick smirks while Lindsay applauds her husband. 

COLE
Now, it’s Cappa’s turn to get ’Corporate Hell’. Remember, on the New Year’s Spectacular two weeks ago, it was Popick who pinned The Mad Cappa to win the match and retain his Title after shoving Cappa into Tha Puerto Rican! He also pulled Cappa's jeans while pinning him too!  

COACH
Popick’s ’Master Plan’ came into fruition! Divide And Conquer! Divide And Conquer! 

COLE
We heard enough of that in the weeks leading up to the New Year’s Spectacular! The plan is done, thank God! 

COACH
And it was a success too, I might add! Now it’s time to concentrate on Anglepalooza, the Triple Threat Match for the Undisputed OAOAST Title, AND the Lethal Rumble Match with PRL as #1!

Popick chuckles, and then jumps off the turnbuckle into the ring. 

COLE
That’s right! We are just 10 days away from the start to the Road To AngleMania VII, Anglepalooza, with the 30-man Lethal Rumble Match! And we now know that Tha Puerto Rican is #1, Mr. Boricua is #30, and also in the match are Zack Malibu, Bohemoth, and all of the wrestlers in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation!  

Popick unstraps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from around his waist and raises it over his head to loud boos. He walks around the ring raising the belt in the air while Lindsay stays on the outside and looks on, sighing lovingly. Popick kisses the belt and then hands it over to referee Earl Hebner, who then gives it to a ringside attendant. The ringside attendant then walks over and hands the belt to the timekeeper who places it on top of the timekeeper’s table.  

COLE
Also at Anglepalooza, Popick will be in a Triple Threat Match to determine the undisputed One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion. “After Hours” Felix Strutter puts his OAOAST International Championship on the line! Popick puts his OAOAST World Title on the line! And Colombian Heat, the winner of the Battle Royal on the New Year’s Spectacular, hopes to make history once again, winning his first World Heavyweight Title in the process! 

COACH
Lightning will NOT strike twice for Colombian Heat. You see what I did there? Lightning, Puerto Rican Lightning? PRL is friends with Colombian Heat. Do you get it? 

COLE
No. 

COACH
Damn you, Cole!

Popick stretches in the ring. He jumps up and down in place and looks to the entrance as “Stronger” continues playing. 

COLE
A non-title match for Popick tonight. 

COACH
A ‘warm up match’ if you will. 

COLE
For Popick, maybe. But The Mad Cappa is looking for some payback for the New Year’s Spectacular. 

COACH
Well, he’s going to have to keep looking! There’s no way he’s gonna get it tonight! 

COLE
We’ll see Coach. In about a few moments! This is only the SECOND one-on-one match between The Mad Cappa and Stephen Joseph Popick in OAOAST history. The first match took place at AngleSlam back in August of 2004 when Popick defeated The Mad Cappa to win the, what was at the time known as, the OAOAST Italian Championship. 

COACH
And then Popick proceeded to have the greatest Italian Championship reign in OAOAST history! 

COLE
'The greatest Italian Championship reign in OAOAST history'!? Coach, he BARELY defended the Title, if at all! He held the belt for almost NINE MONTHS, and yet barely anyone noticed he even had the damn Title! 

COACH
That’s your way at looking at it! My way of looking at it is Popick was so powerful nobody wanted to fight him! August 29, 2004, a great day in Popick’s career. The day that he became the OAOAST Italian Champion, the GREATEST one of them all! 

COLE
You are such a Popick kiss-ass, you know that!? Anyway, a stipulation for that match was that if The Mad Cappa lost, he would have to join Popick’s Inten5e stable, a stable that included PRL, Tony Brannigan, and Dan Black. That stable quickly fell by the wayside, but not this new stable Popick is in control of. The newly named Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is stronger than ever, and all eight members have one goal in mind: the complete and total elimination of Tha Puerto Rican, Colombian Heat, and The Mad Cappa from the One And Only AngleSault Thread! 

COACH
And they can get rid of The Mad Cappa tonight!   

“Stronger” by Kanye West dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for The Mad Cappa’s entrance. A “CAP-PA!” chant already starts. But Popick ignores the chant and just looks to the entrance. 

COLE
The Mad Cappa vs. Stephen Joseph Popick, one-on-one, for the first time ever on HeldDOWN~! coming up right now!

[i]*1, 2, 3! Hit it!*[/i]

The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to cheer LOUDLY. The lights go down in the arena. “Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” by DJ Kool starts playing. Red spotlights circle the arena, while strobe lights appear over, under and around the AngleTron. Some fans chant “GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA! GO CAP-PA!” to the beat of the song. 

COLE
Listen to this ovation for The Mad Cappa! 

COACH
What!? I can’t hear you! 

COLE
I said…oh nevermind!

A single spotlight shines on the entrance stage. The Mad Cappa’s back is turned to the audience. The crowd pops anyway. Cappa starts dancing, bringing the crowd to life. He stops and then turns around, striking a B-Boy stance on the entrance stage. Mad Cappa smiles a wide smile and then begins walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. 

BUFFER
And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From Northern Virginia. Weighing in at 183 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread Puerto Rican/Italian Champion. This…is…THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The Mad Cappa slaps hands with the fans, but then stops when he gets closer to the ring. Popick taunts him from in the ring. 

COLE
The Mad Cappa has been on the warpath since December when he turned his back on Stephen Joseph Popick! Since then he has been made an enemy of The Lightning Crew--now the SJPC! 

COACH
And tonight, the leader of the SJPC gets him right where he wants him! 

COLE
Will The Mad Cappa experience ’Corporate Hell’ tonight? 

The Mad Cappa jaw jacks with Popick from outside of the ring. After several more seconds of jaw jacking, Cappa runs towards the ring, sliding into the squared circle! Popick goes for a clothesline, but The Mad Cappa ducks, bounces off of the ropes…and hits Popick with a Lou Thesz Press! 

COACH
The bell hasn’t even rung yet! 

Earl Hebner sees this and calls for the bell. 

*DING DING DING* 

[b]“Corporate Hell” 
STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK (with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick) vs. THE MAD CAPPA[/b]
“Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)” dies down. The Mad Cappa is on top of Popick and pummeling him with lefts and rights! 

COLE
Now it has! The Mad Cappa has struck first blood in this contest! 

Cappa gets off of Popick and then picks him up. The Mad Cappa gives Stephen Joseph Popick an Irish whip into the ropes. Clothesline by The Mad Cappa! The Mad Cappa whips Popick into the ropes again. Back elbow from Mad Cappa! He goes for the cover, hooking Popick’s right leg! 

1...




2...




KICK OUT!!!

COLE
It was nearly a year ago on this very program that Stephen Joseph Popick and Tha Puerto Rican lost the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles to Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. What a difference a year makes! 

COACH
A classic match, nominated for TV Match of the Year at the 2007 OAOAST Angle Awards! But believe it or not, Popick is even BETTER than he was when he held the HI-YAH Tag Titles! That is why he is the World Heavyweight Champion right now. 

COLE
Well that, and some cheating. 

COACH
Quiet, you! 

TMC picks Popick up. He starts punching the face of the OAOAST World Champion, causing much worry for Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. Cappa once again grabs Popick by his right hand and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes--Popick reverses--inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline to knock Cappa down! 

COLE
And just like that, Stephen Joseph Popick is back in control!

COACH
Where he will remain for the rest of the night! 

The crowd boos. Lindsay looks on as Popick taunts the crowd and then picks The Mad Cappa up. He punches Cappa in the face several times. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cappa’s entrance into the ring and Lou Thesz Press on Popick. 

COLE
The Mad Cappa started the match off hot with that Lou Thesz Press, but now the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, the leader of the SJPC is in control of The Mad Cappa! 

Popick takes The Mad Cappa over to a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to slam Cappa’s head on the top turnbuckle pad. Afterwards, Popick punches Cappa in the face several times. He then kicks Cappa in the gut several times. Stephen Joseph switches between punching and kicking Mad Cappa. He switches to kicking, and starts stomping a mudhole in The Mad Cappa, making sure to walk it dry! 

“PO-PICK SUCKS!”
“PO-PICK SUCKS!”
“PO-PICK SUCKS!”
“PO-PICK SUCKS!” 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK
SHUT UP! 

COLE
That’ll cause them to stop. 

COACH
Shut up! 

COLE
Okay. 

Popick kicks The Mad Cappa in the gut repeatedly. He chokes Cappa with his right foot. 

EARL HEBNER
Come on now! Break it up! One! Two! Three! Four! 

Popick lets go at the count of four. He feigns innocence, but the OAOAST Senior Referee isn’t falling for it. SJP pulls TMC out from the turnbuckle and then lifts him up. High angle neckbreaker! Popick goes for the cover, hooking Cappa’s right leg! 

1...




2...







RIGHT SHOULDER UP!!!

COLE
The Mad Cappa got the shoulder up that time! The match continues, with Stephen Joseph Popick in control of The Mad Cappa! 

Popick is annoyed that that wasn’t the finish, but marches on. 

POPICK
COME ON CRAPPA! 

Popick picks Mad Cappa up. Stalling neckbreaker! 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick targeting the neck of The Mad Cappa! We all know how many neck injuries The Mad Cappa has had throughout his career, and it looks like Popick wants to give Cappa ANOTHER one here tonight!

SJP picks Cappa up. 

“CAP-PA!”
“CAP-PA!”
“CAP-PA!”
“CAP-PA!”

Popick mocks the crowd’s chanting of “CAP-PA!” and then takes Cappa to another turnbuckle corner where he slams Cappa’s head on the top turnbuckle pad again! He sets Cappa up. 

*CHOP!*

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

*CHOP!*

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

*CHOP!*

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

*CHOP!*

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

*DOUBLE CHOP!*

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

POPICK
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

Popick chuckles and then gets on the second turnbuckle and starts hammering away at Cappa’s skull! The Mad Cappa responds with a low blow on Popick! 

COACH
Hey! He can’t do that! 

COLE
I don’t think the referee saw that! 

COACH
Disqualify him, ref! Low blow! Low blow! 

The crowd cheers loudly! Popick holds his groin in pain. Cappa shoves Popick off of the second turnbuckle, so that Popick lands HARD back-first onto the mat! The Mad Cappa shakes the cobwebs out, and then rushes to the ropes, bounces off of the ropes--LINDSAY TRIPS THE MAD CAPPA! 

COLE
That little jezebel! 

COACH
A HOT little jezebel at that! 

The crowd boos Lindsay for that act. Cappa slides out of the ring and confronts Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick about this little transgression! 

COACH
He wouldn’t DARE hit her, would he!? 

COLE
I don’t know! But The Mad Cappa is NOT in a good mood right now! 

Cappa mouths off to Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. But Lindsay can talk the talk too, and she runs her mouth on The Mad Cappa! Cappa becomes increasingly annoyed with Popick’s wife, so he grabs Lindsay by her hair and cocks his right fist! 

COLE
He’s gonna do it! 

COACH
NO! NO! DON’T! 

Lindsay screams for help! Cappa pulls his fist back…and is attacked by Popick from behind! 

COACH
Oh thank God! Thank you Popick! Thank you very much! 

COLE
Stephen Joseph coming to the aid of his wife in the nick of time! 

COACH
What kind of role model is he!? Attacking a poor defenseless woman like that!? 

COLE
Hey, she tripped him! 

COACH
And that means he should punch her in the face!? What the hell is wrong with you!? You’re sick, Michael Cole! You know that? You’re sick! 

Popick attacks Cappa repeatedly on the outside! Stephen Joseph lifts Cappa up, and drops him onto the barricade! Popick steadies himself, and then clotheslines The Mad Cappa over the barricade and into the crowd! 

COLE
Uh-oh! Popick and The Mad Cappa are on the outside right now! 

COACH
Get Popick away from the unwashed masses! 

COLE
Oh will you stop!? 

Popick himself goes over the barricade and picks Cappa up. He punches Cappa in the face several times, and kicks him in the gut a few times as well. SJP clotheslines Cappa over the barricade and back into the ringside area again! 

COACH
Short trip, bad landing! HA! HA! 

Popick climbs back over the barricade and into the ringside area again. He picks Mad Cappa up and punches him in the face several times. He kicks Cappa in the gut a few times as well. Popick stops to pose for the booing fans! 

COLE
No love being shown for the World Heavyweight Champion here in Halifax, Nova Scotia! 

COACH
Pfft. Canadians. What do they know? 

COLE
Uh, Coach, you do realize that Popick’s wife is from Canada right?

COACH
Lindsay is the only good thing to come out of Canada! 

As Popick continues his posing with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauding her husband, The Mad Cappa jumps onto the top of the barricade and waits for Popick to get near him…CAPPA HITS POPICK WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE FROM THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE! 

COACH
OH NO! 

The Mad Cappa gets on top of Stephen Joseph and starts hammering away at him! Lindsay screams for Cappa to stop, but obviously, that ain’t going to work! Cappa stops punching Popick to give him TWO middle fingers, and then punches him in the face with a right hand one more time before getting off of Popick and posing himself! The crowd cheers loudly! 

COLE
Popick stopped to pose, and he paid the cost! 

COACH
He’s playing possum! That’s all! He’s playing possum! GET UP POPICK! STOP PLAYING POSSUM! GET UP NOW AND KICK THE MAD CAPPA’S ASS! 

Cappa plays to his adoring public and then picks up the weakened OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. TMC punches Popick in the face and then throws him back into the ring. 

COLE
And now The Mad Cappa is back in control of the OAOAST Champion! 

COACH
This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! 

COLE
How so? 

COACH
BECAUSE POPICK IS GETTING BEATEN! 

COLE
Why am I not surprised that that was going to be your answer? 

COACH
Because you know me so well! 

COLE
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t! 

The Mad Cappa enters the ring himself. He picks Popick up. Popick is now dazed. Lindsay starts panicking on the outside. The Mad Cappa gives Popick a forearm shot to the face! He does it again! And again! And again! The Mad Cappa whips Popick into a turnbuckle corner--Popick reverses--The Mad Cappa leaps onto the top turnbuckle and leaps off of it with a Side Swinging Moonsault onto Stephen Joseph Popick! 

COLE
Side Swinging Moonsault! Could that be all!? 

1...






2...












3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

POPICK KICKS OUT!!!!!!!!!

COLE
A close fall for The Mad Cappa! 1 second away from beating the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! 

COACH
He couldn’t do it on the New Year’s Spectacular, and he’s NOT going to do it tonight! 

COLE
We shall see, Coach! Cappa is putting up quite the fight! 

The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows The Mad Cappa’s flying clothesline from the top of the barricade. 

COLE
The Mad Cappa went FLYING there! 

COACH
Oh yeah, really rub it in, Cole! He caught Popick off guard! Popick wasn’t prepared for him that time! 

COLE
You would think a World Champion would be better prepared--

COACH
Don’t you start, Michael Cole! Don’t you dare start! 

The Mad Cappa picks Stephen Joseph Popick up. 

COLE
I’ll tell you what, The Mad Cappa isn’t in the Lethal Rumble yet, but after tonight’s performance, the OAOAST Board of Directors may consider giving him a spot in the match! 

COACH
Then it’ll be more proof that the OAOAST Board of Directors are on drugs. 

The Mad Cappa punches Popick in the face several times. He then switches to forearm shots to the face. After four forearms, The Mad Cappa spins around, and throws a discuss forearm to Stephen Joseph Popick, knocking him down! 

COLE
The IMPACT! Popick is down! 

The crowd is starting to come alive. Cappa exits the ring and climbs the top rope. He gets into position. Suddenly, Spanish Fly runs down the entrance ramp and shakes the top ring rope, causing The Mad Cappa to lose his balance and crotch himself on the top rope! 

COLE
That sellout is out here! 

COACH
Don’t call him a sellout! He made the right decision! 

Spanish Fly laughs maniacally while the crowd boos loudly. Cappa tumbles off of the top rope and collapses onto the mat, holding his no-no place. 

COLE
Spanish Fly, the shortest member of the SJPC! 

COACH
But he has the biggest heart! 

Spanish Fly stays at ringside to watch the action…that is until Colombian Heat shows up and attacks Fly! 

COLE
Wait a minute! Colombian Heat is here! 

COACH
WHAT THE HELL? 

Colombian Heat pummels his former running buddy to the crowd’s delight! Heat slams Fly’s face on top of a barricade! Heat punches Fly some more! 

COLE
Colombian Heat taking it to his former best friend! 

COACH
Fly, do something! Do something now damnit! 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly battle it out on the entrance ramp! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Stephen Joseph Popick picks The Mad Cappa up! He punches Cappa in the face several times. He whips him into a turnbuckle corner--The Mad Cappa reverses--Popick reverses again--The Mad Cappa runs right into Earl Hebner! The referee collapses onto the mat! 

COLE
Oh! And the referee is down! 

The Mad Cappa is shocked by this turn of events! So shocked, he doesn’t notice when Popick grabs him from behind in a Full Nelson! The crowd buzzes, knowing that something is coming up that they won’t like. Indeed, Stephen Joseph walks with The Mad Cappa to the opposite turnbuckle and sets his feet on the second turnbuckle. 

COACH
Uh-oh! Uh-oh! 

Popick looks to the crowd, smiles evilly…and then jumps off the top rope, over The Mad Cappa, pulling Cappa over into a Full Nelson Suplex, but shifting his body in mid-air so that he lands on his ass to do a Stone Cold Stunner on Cappa! 

COLE
Finality! Finality on The Mad Cappa! 

COACH
He hit it! He hit his move! 

The crowd boos loudly as The Mad Cappa falls to the mat! Popick quickly covers The Mad One…except that there’s no referee. Popick is annoyed greatly at this. 

COLE
Popick hit the Finality! But there’s no referee! 

COACH
Oh, why did Cappa have to hit the referee!? Stupid Cappa! 

COLE
You know, The Mad Cappa might have saved himself there! 

COACH
I know, and that’s what sucks about this! 

Stephen Joseph Popick slaps the mat in frustration and then goes to wake Earl Hebner up at Lindsay’s suggestion. He shakes the Senior Referee, slaps him across the face, but is unable to wake the ref up. 

COLE
The Mad Cappa is down! Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are brawling on the outside! And Stephen Joseph Popick cannot seem to wake up Earl Hebner! 

COACH
Get up you old fart! You’ve been knocked out so many times over the years you’d think that you’d be used to it by now! 

Popick yells at Earl Hebner to wake up. 

POPICK
COME ON! COME ON! 

Popick throws the referee back onto the mat. He mutters to himself as he goes back to The Mad Cappa. HOWEVER, Colombian Heat slides into the ring. He kicks Popick in the stomach, turns around, hooks Popick’s arms, and then scoops him up into the air! 

COACH
No! No! No! Not this! 

The crowd comes unglued! Colombian Heat has Popick up in the air. Heat looks at Spanish Fly on the outside, looks at The Mad Cappa down on the mat, looks at Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick freaking out on the outside, looks up at Popick, and then looks at the crowd and smiles. Heat nods his head…

and then proceeds to drop down, giving Stephen Joseph Popick the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

COLE
Colombian Necktie! Colombian Necktie on Stephen Joseph Popick! 

COACH
No! No! No! 

COLE
Is this a preview of the Triple Threat Match at Anglepalooza? Is this move in Popick’s future? 

COACH
No way! No how! Popick wasn’t ready! HE WASN’T PREPARED! But he WILL be prepared on January 27th! He will be! He will be! 

Colombian Heat gets all up in Popick’s grill! Spanish Fly slides into the ring and attacks Colombian Heat! 

COACH
Get him, Fly! Get him! 

Spanish Fly hammers Heat’s back! He kicks Heat in the stomach several times! Spanish Fly kicks Heat out of the ring and then follows him out, brawling with his former ally on the outside! 

COLE
And now Heat and Fly are going at it again! One year ago tomorrow they captured the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship together! And now, 364 days later, they are mortal enemies!

COACH
Spanish Fly showing us right now that he was the star of that team by getting the better of Colombian Heat! 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly slug it out in the ringside area! They go up the entrance ramp. At the same time, Tha Puerto Rican runs down the entrance ramp and around the ringside area. 

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican is here! 

COACH
What is he doing!? Does he want more of a beating from earlier tonight!? 

PRL grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper’s table and walks with it around ringside. 

COACH
He’s stealing the Title belt! Stop him!

COLE
Pipe down! 

PRL walks up the ring steps, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his right hand, and then enters the ring. The crowd is abuzzed.

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican has got the OAOAST World Title belt in his possession! 

COACH
And that’s the ONLY way he’ll ever have the OAOAST World Title belt in his possession, by the way!

PRL stands in a turnbuckle corner, and gets ready to hit someone with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. 

COLE
PRL is gonna hit someone with the belt! 

COACH
But who? Popick or Cappa? 

COLE
Well, my money’s on Popick! After what went down earlier tonight, after making PRL the #1 entrant in the Lethal Rumble, and after putting a $1 million bounty on his head! 

COACH
Don’t forget what happened on the New Year’s Spectacular.

COLE
That too.

PRL motions for someone to get up. Both Popick and Cappa show signs of life on the mat. 

COLE
PRL is not friends with either of these guys! Remember, they all fought for the Title on the New Year’s Spectacular two weeks ago! 

COACH
Popick, watch out! PRL is a mad man! And he’s got YOUR belt in HIS hands! 

COLE
Popick better watch out! 

Stephen Joseph Popick slowly moves to his side. The Mad Cappa also slowly moves to his side. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick tries to warn her husband that PRL is in the ring, but he’s not listening. Tha Puerto Rican is antsy, and so is the crowd. 

COLE
PRL is getting ready to do some damage! He’s got his eyes locked on Popick! 

COACH
No, on The Mad Cappa! 

COLE
No, he’s clearly aiming for Popick! 

COACH
No, The Mad Cappa! 

COLE
No, Popick!

COACH
Cappa!

COLE
Popick! 

COACH
Cappa!

COLE
Popick! 

COACH
Cappa! 

COLE
Popick!

COACH
Cappa!

COLE
Popick!

COACH
Popick!

COLE
Cappa!

COACH
Yes!

COLE
D’oh!

Stephen Joseph Popick gets on his hands and knees. The Mad Cappa is on his side. Popick gets on his left knee. Cappa starts to get to his hands and knees. 

THA PUERTO RICAN
COME ON! 

COLE
PRL is just BEGGING for Popick--

COACH
--Cappa! 

COLE
--to get up! And when he does, he’s in for a rude awakening! 

COACH
Yes, The Mad Cappa certainly is in for a rude awakening! 

COLE
Oh, will you stop!? 

COACH
It’s true! 

KURT ANGLE
It’s damn true! 

COLE
:huh: 

Popick is on his left knee and is slowly pushing himself up. The Mad Cappa is on his hands and knees. 

COLE
Here it comes! 

COACH
Look out Mad Cappa! 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is frantically yelling for Popick to look out. Stephen Joseph slowly rises back up to his feet. The Mad Cappa is on his right knee, and he too, is slowly getting up. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation. Popick gets to a vertical base. The Mad Cappa is slowly getting up. Tha Puerto Rican charges forward, swinging the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt…








…and completely MISSING Stephen Joseph Popick, instead hitting The Mad Cappa RIGHT IN THE FACE~!!!

COLE
Oh no! 

COACH
I TOLD YOU! I KNEW IT! HE WAS AIMING FOR THE MAD CAPPA! HE WAS AIMING FOR THE MAD CAPPA! 

COLE
No he wasn’t! Tha Puerto Rican clearly made a mistake! 

COACH
How so!? He HATES The Mad Cappa! Remember? 

Tha Puerto Rican obviously hit the wrong person, as the expression on his face shows regret. He stands over the fallen Mad Cappa speechless…which allows Popick to give PRL a LOW BLOW taking him down to the mat! 

COLE
And Popick with a low blow to take advantage of the situation! 

COACH
Yeah! That’s Championship thinking right there! THAT is why he is the World Heavyweight Champion! 

COLE
For once, you are exactly right! 

COACH
Thank yo--HEY! 

Popick covers The Mad Cappa. Earl Hebner is showing signs of life now. 

COLE
Oh no. Don’t tell me!

COACH
Yes! Yes! Yes! 

Earl Hebner sees Popick covering The Mad Cappa and crawls over to them. Lindsay is absolutely giddy right now. 

COLE
Oh damnit! No! No! Not this way! Damnit! 

The crowd boos loudly. Tha Puerto Rican is sliding out of the ring, holding his junk. Earl Hebner gets into position, making sure both of Cappa’s shoulders are down on the mat. Popick hooks Cappa’s right leg. 

COACH
Here it comes. 

Tha Puerto Rican slides out of the ring, still holding his groin area. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly have continued fighting backstage, exiting through the entrance doors. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick is ready to celebrate. Stephen Joseph Popick has an evil smile on his face as he covers The Mad Cappa, who is unconscious now. Earl Hebner makes the count. 

1...


2...












2 ½













2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999















3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*DING DING DING* (6:57)

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

COLE 
And the Ultimate Opportunist steals another one! 

COACH
Another win for THE CHAMP~! 

“Stronger” by Kanye West begins playing as the crowd boos loudly. Some fans even throw garbage into the ring. Lindsay jumps up and down and applauds her hubby as Michael Buffer makes the official announcement. 

BUFFER
Here is your winner…STEPHEN JOSEPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH POPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Stephen Joseph Popick takes a deep breath, and then gets on his knees and raises his hands in victory with a sinister look on his face. He grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt that is lying on the mat and raises it over his head to LOUD boos. Popick chuckles at the booing, not letting it bother him right now. 

COLE
Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, with a HUGE victory here tonight in this non-title bout! 

COACH
And it’s all thanks to PRL hitting Mad Cappa in the face with the World Title belt! 

COLE
You’re right, Coach! But it was an accident…wasn’t it? 

COACH
No! No way! This is just like the New Year’s Spectacular all over again! Popick used PR and The Mad Cappa’s hatred of each other to get the victory! Divide And Conquer! Divide And Conquer! HA! HA! HA! HA! 

Lindsay applauds Stephen Joseph from the outside. SJP stands up and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand in the air. He laughs manically while the crowd boos. 

COLE
It had to have been an accident. PRL was clearly aiming for Popick!

COACH
No, it wasn’t! PRL was aiming for The Mad Cappa all along! He was just acting like he was aiming for Popick to surprise The Mad Cappa! 

Popick continues posing with his World Championship belt over the fallen Mad Cappa as the OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to the ending of the match, starting with Tha Puerto Rican giving The Mad Cappa a ::Beltshot::. 

COLE
Tha Puerto Rican had the OAOAST Title belt in his hands. He swung the belt at Popick, Popick ducked, and The Mad Cappa got the burnt of the belt! Popick then gave PRL a low blow and capitalized on Tha Puerto Rican's blunder, covering The Mad Cappa just as Earl Hebner was getting up to get the 1-2-3. And another victory for Stephen Joseph Popick! 

COACH
Oh, I’m sure there is no love lost between PR and Popick, but still, PRL WANTED to hit Mad Cappa, and he did. 

COLE
Then why did Popick move out of the way? 

COACH
Eh, PRL’s vision is a little blurry. He thought he was hitting Cappa, but Popick directed him to the REAL Mad Cappa! 

COLE
Oh come on! That’s just ridiculous! 

COACH
It’s the truth, Ruth! 

Stephen Joseph Popick taunts The Mad Cappa despite the fact that Cappa is knocked out from the beltshot. He gives The Mad Cappa a middle finger to his face and then stands over him and raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with his left hand and flips a middle finger to the crowd with his right hand. He taunts the crowd and continues flipping a finger to them while Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick applauds from the outside and points to Stephen Joseph Popick saying, “That’s my man!” as “Stronger” continues playing.

COACH
What a victory for Stephen Joseph Popick! He is 2-0 against The Mad Cappa! 3 years later, but same match result! Woooo!

COLE
This was his night! Everything he wanted, he got! He put the SJPC into the Lethal Rumble Match! He made Tha Puerto Rican the #1 entrant in the Lethal Rumble AND put a $1 million bounty on his head! He had his Corporation give PRL a beatdown! And he main evented and defeated The Mad Cappa 1-2-3 under controversial circumstances!

COACH
Who cares how he won? The important thing is that he won! And in a roundabout way, he has PRL to thank for it!

COLE
Sadly, he does. But not in the way that we’re used to.

Tha Puerto Rican is still holding his nuts in pain. He manages to get up on the outside, using the ring apron to keep him from falling. He eyes Popick angrily, giving him the McMahon SNEER~! and muttering something under his breath. Popick spots PRL getting up and sarcastically thanks him for helping him win the match “just like in the old days!” He laughs manically and taunts PRL, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high in the air, and then does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture at him. PRL’s face is red with RAGE~! He goes to slide back into the ring…but Popick stops Tha Puerto Rican from doing anything by kicking him right in the face! Tha Puerto Rican falls to the protective mats on the outside!

COLE
Oh! And this is how Popick repays him for helping him win the match!? 

COACH
Hey, they’re not friends anymore! Popick doesn’t need PRL, but PRL needs Popick! 

COLE
That’s a lie and you know it! 

PRL lies face down on the protective mats on the outside. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick runs over and kicks PRL in the back with her heel! She then runs back to where she was originally, pointing and laughing at Tha Puerto Rican’s misery. 

COACH
I love that girl. 

COLE
Like Popick will ever let you have her! 

COACH
I can dream, can I? 

COLE
Eugh. 

Tha Puerto Rican is still face down on the protective mats on the outside. The Mad Cappa is still lying spread eagle on the mat, unconscious from the beltshot given to him by Tha Puerto Rican. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick continues applauding her husband from the outside, the OAOAST Women’s Championship belt shining brightly over her right shoulder. Referee Earl Hebner has already left through the sliding doors. Stephen Joseph Popick continues playing to the booing crowd. He slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and smiles evilly, taunting the fans as “Stronger” by Kanye West continues playing. 

COLE
Fans, thanks for tuning into HeldDOWN~! tonight! Things are getting heated up as we get closer and closer to Anglepalooza and the Lethal Rumble Match! We now know who’s #1 and who’s #30! We also now know that $1 million will be awarded to the man who eliminates Tha Puerto Rican in the Lethal Rumble Match! Stephen Joseph Popick has proclaimed that there is No Chance In Hell that Tha Puerto Rican will win the Lethal Rumble Match and go on to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30th! And with every wrestler in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation in the Lethal Rumble…he might be right about that! One thing’s for sure: tonight on HeldDOWN~!, Tha Puerto Rican AND The Mad Cappa experienced ’[color="#FF0000"][b]CORPORATE HELL[/b][/color]’!

[b]FADE OUT[/b]