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Retard Girl

PROMO: The Promo Without a Cool Name

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1pm

 

It's a sunny but cold day in Chicago, and there is a buzz of activity at the Sears Centre. The somewhat still afternoon air is soon disrupted by the roar of a diesel engine and the squealing of tires. A big black Dodge pickup truck is seen screeching around the corner, Slayer blaring out of the windows, the sun's reflection blinding off the chrome grill. Eventually the truck slams to a stop, landing perfectly in a parking space in the back of the lot. We see the back of the truck; on it's tailgate, Princess of Hardcore is written in sparkly ultraviolet script.

 

dodge03.jpg

 

The driver's door opens and Taiga Star jumps out, carrying a large black and purple Hello Kitty duffel bag and wearing dark blue carpenter jeans and a black hoodie. She crosses the expanse of parking lot, avoiding the patches of ice. She enters through a door in the back of the arena and after the clear and bright winter day the darkness is blinding. Eventually Taiga runs into Ben Hardy.

 

"Taiga Star, the new girl! How are ya?" he asks. "You... you're not on the card tonight."

 

"I know, but I figured I'd show up anyway, see if anything comes up. If not, then I'll sell popcorn or something. Not like I have anywhere better to be." Taiga says.

 

Ben nods. "Yeah well I'll see you around." He goes off to wherever he was going before. Taiga continues through the building until she finds a locker room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

4:30pm

 

Taiga's path from the locker room to the cafeteria brings her past the office. Outside the door is the lineup for tonight's show. She looks at it, expecting her name not to be there. She is surprised when her name is listed.

 

"Oh, I am on the card! A hardcore match." She smiles evilly. "JJ Johnson. I don't know who that is, but no matter. A hardcore match! I love me a hardcore match!" She practically skips away in joy.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Twenty minutes before the show

 

Taiga stands alone in front of a SWF backdrop; wearing her usual wrestling gear of cut off camo pants, a black tank top, black kneepads, big black boots, black wristguards and black tape around her fists. Wouldn't you know it, she's about to cut a promo. For someone that's not very good at promos, she sure seems to like doing them.

 

"So I wasn't scheduled to be in the Clusterfuck. That's okay, I know I'm the new girl and all that, I need to earn my spot, yadda yadda. Maybe next year, yeah? Because I'm sure, that by this time next year, there will be no way I'll be overlooked for an event of this magnitude.

 

"I came to the arena today, not expecting to wrestle at all. But I came anyway. You never know what will come up, what kind of job you could be asked to do, what kind of match might be thrown at you. It seems that there was a bit of space for them to fill tonight, so a Hardcore match was bestowed upon me. Let me just say how much I love hardcore matches. I wish that I had some sort of an advanced notice of this..."

 

Taiga thinks a moment.

 

"Though, how would I be told about a match that hadn't been booked yet?

 

"No matter. I only wish that I had time to adequately prepare for the occasion. Oh no, don't take that as fear or trepidation on my part. In preparing, I mean going shopping! That's right, everyone knows how much a woman loves to shop. Especially me, especially for hardcore accessories! There's nothing like hitting up the local hardware store to gather up some imaginative weaponry to use.

 

"But that's okay, I'll make due with what is available. Story of my life, it seems, making due with what is available. Using what I have. If the only thing I have to use is my fists, then so be it."

 

She raises her fists and looks at them. One can't see the scars there under the tape, but she knows they are there. The scars are the proof of the hard-knock life she has had.

 

"My opponent for this evening is JJ Johnson. Of course I don't know a whole lot about him, but I'm sure that will change by the end of tonight. He doesn't know anything about me either, but he will. He will know. He will know the force of a woman.

 

"Some people might not take a girl too seriously, especially in a hardcore situation. He'd better take me seriously tonight, anything less than his full force will make me laugh. I have no qualms about beating up a man, he'd better have no qualms about beating up a woman. Any hesitation on his part will prove to me his weakness. It doesn't matter that he's bigger than me. I'll take on anyone of any size. Backing down isn't in my being. It's not something I've ever done, and I'm not planning on starting now.

 

"Tonight, everyone will see just how hardcore a woman can be, after I'm done with Johnson, beating him into a pulp and smearing his blood all over the ring. I will stand tall. So it is said... so it is done."

 

Taiga walks off camera, ending the promo.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

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Good promo...we're seeing some serious personality from Taiga. That's a very good thing. Sounds like she could be gunning for that Hardcore belt that Landon's been hiding in his desk since he took over as GM...

 

And a hardcore shopping spree? That sounds like a great promo in the making right there! Having someone follow you around a Home Depot or Lowes with camera? Money, I tell you! :headbang:

 

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ya know, it's something i've done before. a promo of me shopping in a hardware store. i even made a graphic for my own little brand of generic hardware stores. because i'm *totally* a geek like that XD

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a) the fact that you made a graphic for a chain of hardware stores to use in the fed = awesome. You never know, you might spark the next Frost © brand Cigars.

 

b) Princess of Hardcore??? Oh bitch, it's on! ;)

 

 

 

The Hardcore Queen says:

"No Threats, No promises... just a Decree - don't step to my throne. That's right, I'm ripping off Stubbs"

 

 

 

-Annie

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ya know, it's something i've done before. a promo of me shopping in a hardware store. i even made a graphic for my own little brand of generic hardware stores. because i'm *totally* a geek like that XD

 

There's a great Raven shoot promo where he goes to a weapons shop for new stuff to beat up Kaz with... it's in On The Road With Raven.

 

oh and Taiga vs Annie = future fued goodness!

 

 

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