HD: Landon/Internationally Known segment

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Earlier tonight, we saw Theodore Moneymaker in jubilant mood. Little did we know the bombshell he was about to drop on us all, regarding Krista and her... illegitimate child.

COACH
Seriously, can we not have ONE original idea around here!?

COLE
Coach! This isn't the time for jokes, come on. I still can't believe what we heard earlier, certainly not what we expected on the road to AnglePalooza. And we understand that Moneymaker has refused to allow our backstage correspondent Josh Matthews into The Enterprise dressing room for any further comments, Josh has been standing by outside as apparently the [i]partying[/i] has begun inside. That is just... despicable in my book. Right now, let's take you other to another of our colleagues, Gene Okerlund is standing by.


We swoop over to the interview stage, where the incomparable Mene Gene is indeed ready and waiting.

OKERLUND
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to bring out my guests, the members of Internationally Known... and accompanied by Megan Skye, former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"Megalomaniac" curiously plays out not just Landon and Megan, but also all three members of Internationally Known. Landon and Megan lead the way to the interview stage while their newfound friends tail behind, Black mouthing off at the fans near the stage and holding up Blonde and Faqu. That gives Blonde chance to show off 'his' One and Only World Tag Team Championship belt to the camera, pointing out the other half of the stolen championships in the mouth of Faqu. Eventually all three make it onto the stage and assemble themselves around Landon, who chews away on a stick of gum nonchalantly.

OKERLUND
Gentlemen, right off the bat, I have to ask... who am I directing the questions to here? Just who is the 'ring leader' in all of this?

MADDIX
Come on Gene, you should know better than to ask that.

Landon grins back at his IK buddies.

OKERLUND
In that case, maybe you can explain the situation to the world. What sort of deal or agreement is there between you and these three men standing behind you?

MADDIX
It's very simple. It's a case of 'what can I do for you, what can you do for me'? It's a mutual agreement, based on mutual benefits. When I came to this company I was a part of a group you might remember called The Wildcards. And we, The Wildcards, caused plenty of noise and had plenty of success. Me, Bruce Blank, Bloodshed... and Todd Cortez.

Landon scowls as a few fans cheer Todd's name.

MADDIX
We were a group of outsiders and it's no secret, we took comfort in having a strength in numbers up against the entire OAOAST. Then, earlier this year, it began to fall apart. Bloodshed went first and nobody ever heard from him again... which, let's be honest, was for the best, but still. With Bloodshed gone we were down to three. Then, Bruce lost Survive Or Surrender and that was the last we'll see of him in the OAOAST. Leaving just me and Todd, which was as good as being alone. Infact, it was worse than being alone. I knew that Cortez couldn't be trusted. But I stuck by him, partly because the entire OAOAST was still on my back over the 'Wildcard' thing, but mainly out of the goodness of my heart. I tried to save him from disappearing into obscurity like the rest of The Wildcards. And sure enough, eventually, he stabbed me in the back like the coward he is!

OKERLUND
I'm not sure that's how it went down at all.

MADDIX
I'm pretty sure it was. Check the tapes.

OKERLUND
I fail to see what this has to do with these three.

MADDIX
Well, it's safe to say that I don't have many friends around these parts. I didn't get off on the best foot with a lot of guys. So when Cortez back-stabbed me, that left me with nobody to rely on. Nobody to watch my back. And it occurs to me that, when the same Todd Cortez is running around trying to break my neck with his ridiculous piledriver every time I turn around, I might [i]need[/i] that back-up. After all, I'm a busy guy. So I turned to someone. Guys who can be trusted. These three men.

Landon points out the trio behind him.

MADDIX
What can they do for me? Simple. They can watch my back, like they watch each other's. I make no secrets about it. Now, you're probably thinking 'what reason do these three have to do that'. What possible loyalty could they have to me. Again, simple. What can I do for them? Look at these three. All talented. All with tons of potential. All with credentials. And all binded together by one common denominator... there's sick of their lack of opportunities in this company. They forged a bond in the hope that strength in numbers would help them coming out of Japan. A lot like The Wildcards, come to think of it. See, I can sympathise with these three. But I can also help them out. Associating themselves with the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, the 2007 Wrestler Of The Year, it can only help their cause. Which is why, officially as of this moment, you are looking at the leader of [b]Cucaracha Internacional[/b]! The OAOAST version. And just look at the instant benefits. Nathaniel Black, in the next round of the Anderson Cup. James Blonde and the Samoan Bulldozer, Faqu, holding the Tag Team Titles!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Blonde raises 'his' half of the titles over his head, while Faqu continues to chew away on his.

OKERLUND
I'm sure The Lone Star Gunslingers, the Tag Team Champions, would have something to say about that.

MADDIX
Yes. Probably something along the lines of "Boy howdy pard'ner, I wish our wrasslin' pants weren't so dawg dang small so we had some'a that credability people are always talkin' about!" I mean, seriously. Are we seriously supposed to be worried about The Gunslingers. Two pussy whipped Texans? If they were so "rootin' and tootin'", surely they'd have come back after their belts by now?

OKERLUND
Well, they'll get their chance at AnglePalooza. Hopefully you'll have other things to concern yourself with on Sunday.

MADDIX
I will, but Megan will be out there with James and Faqu again. And of course, I look out for her at all times. That's the other thing these guys will get, see. Megan's expert managerial advice. Can you believe, seriously, that the blonde stick managing the Gunslingers won Manager Of The Year!? Over Megan!? I mean, it stands to reason that the manager of the Wrestler Of The Year should therefore be the best manager, right? I'm not even sure she classes as a 'manager'. Standing around and looking pretty, picking theme music, buying her client's clothes for them... Megan does ALL of those things to a much higher standard than 'Melody Nerdly', isn't that right?

MEGAN
Uh... yeah, I guess. But trust me, I do more than just manage... and clothes shop, apparantly. If Melody puts her hands on me again like she did last week, she'll find out I can kick ass as well!

MADDIX
HAWT!

OKERLUND
And as far as the Lethal Rumble goes...

MADDIX
As far as the Lethal Rumble goes, I've already set my stall out early. I am guaranteeing victory this Sunday, not because it makes me look good and not because it gets people talking, but because it's my match to win. At the risk of repeating myself, there's nothing and nobody out there who's gonna stop me from getting my rightful, long overdue shot at the World Heavyweight Championship one more time.

OKERLUND
But you know Todd Cortez wi...

MADDIX
Listen, Todd Cortez is a one-move wonder. And that one move doesn't end with somebody flying over the top rope. I've got a feeling that Todd Cortez won't be an issue come this Sunday. Nobody will. Nothing will. Mark my words. Quote me on this. You're looking at the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, going all the way to LA, AngleMania VII, leaving one more time OAOAST World Champion. Be they big, be they bad... those 29 other entrants better Prepare For Landon!

"Megalomaniac" cues up again as Landon and Blonde high-five, Black grinning on as the crowd boo away.

COLE
Landon Maddix, confident as ever. Is it misplaced confidence going into this Sunday and the Lethal Rumble?

COACH
Are you kidding? He's the odds on favourite as far as I'm concerned. Look at his record in battle royals, here and over at the SWF... who's got a better credential than Landon? I don't know if anyone does.

COLE
We'll see how he fares this Sunday.