Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory along with the beautifully produced introductory video welcome us to another night of OAOAST programming. Various images of the OAOAST superstars in all their fantastic glory, joy, agony, and defeat rip across the video landscape, finally leading into the.... Our view is switched to the arena, where the orange polo clad announcers, Michael Cole and The Coach sit in the cushy confines of Sofa Central, waiting to break down the evenings festivities. COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we are in Calgary, Alberta, Canada home of the Calgary Flames, and this Sunday we will be at the hold home of The Flames, Atlanta for Anglepalooza. This year's leathal rumble is our most stacked rumble yet wouldn't you say? COACH Absolutely, Cole, absolutely. Malibu, Maddix, PRL, Reject, all men who have a great chance of walking out of Atlanta with a ticket to mainevent Anglemania in Los Angeles. I count at least twelve guys I could seriously see walking away with the victory. But tonight's show is still poppin with Anderson Cup action, Team Heyross, a favorite for tournament victory in many circles, goes against Jumbo and Deuce. And I'm callin it right now, Jumbo and Deuce's size ain't no match for the athleticism of Team Heyross. None at all. COLE How about our other match, pitting The Love Doctors and The Wrecking Crew? COACH We ain't seen The Docs in a minute but that could go either way. Both teams are mirror images of each other. They're up, they're down, them boys is all over the place. No consistency with those four, you could get a five star masterpiece or a trainwreck of botched spots and missed assignments. So much talent between these two teams, but got dayum are they frustrating to watch. Who's ever “on” tonight is getting the pass into the second round. LAWD help us if they both off though. To quote Jivin JR, that's gonna be bowling shoe ugly! COLE We will have that and much more here tonight on HeldDOWN, including a battle royal to determine the twenty ninth man in the Lethal Rumble, a taping of the Look of Love right here in the ring, and words from The Franchise Zack Malibu! The opening guitar of AC/DC's "Money Talks" suddenly begins to ring out through the arena, not the way the fans would have hoped the night would start. Or end. Or include in any way whatsoever. YEOW! Stepping out onto the stage, Theodore Moneymaker flashes a HUGE smile as he adjusts the lapels on his white smoking jacket, looking around the crowd. The boos, the extended middle fingers, the derogatory signs and banners... none of them seem to dampen Moneymaker's mood as he walks to the ring, head held high. COACH Alright! What a way to kick off the show! "Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night" COLE Theodore Moneymaker, one of the thirty participants in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday night at AnglePalooza. And we've already seen one man flashing the cash around in an attempt to get what he wants, that $1,000,000 bounty placed on the head of Tha Puerto Rican by Stephen Joseph Popick... not the most original of ideas, but hey, it's the OAOAST... I wonder what Theodore Moneymaker has up his sleeve. COACH First of all, the bounty worked a couple of years ago on Zack Malibu's head, so why not go with what works. Secondly, shut up. "Come on, come on, lovin for the money Come on, come on, listen to the money talk Come on, come on, lovin for the money Come on, come on, listen to the money talk" Climbing the ring steps, Moneymaker stops halfway up and laughs loud enough and long enough to be heard over the crowd and his music. Moneymaker then enters the ring and waves at Buffer to hand him the microphone and 'buzz off', showing the iconic ring announcer no respect what-so-ever. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" MONEYMAKER COLE The Billion Dollar Heir in a good mood tonight. For some reason. Once the crowd die down, Moneymaker goes to speak... but has to stop again, overcome by more of his exuberant laughter. Boos ring out again for the time wasting Theodore, who manages to compose himself. MONEYMAKER You know, it's been a long time since I've been this happy to step out in front of you unwashed masses. See tonight... HA HA... tonight, I've got a very, VERY special announcement to make to you all. An announcement that promises to change the face of this company and one of it's foulest, most wretched employees in particular, for good. It's not often in this life you can mix business with pleasure such as right now. But tonight I can. Tonight, comes an announcement that not only promises to rejuvenate The Enterprise... that not only guarantees dramatic ratings spikes in the weeks to come here on TSM and therefore benefits the Moneymaker business... but also will give me great personal pleasure. You see, for months I've had to deal with the abomination that was 'Chicks Over Dicks'. "YYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!" MONEYMAKER At every turn, they've looked to thwart my best laid plans. They've toyed with my associates' lives and goals. They've robbed us of championships. They've seeked to humiliate us on a near-weekly basis, for no reason besides sheer irreverence! And through every day I've had to suffer those two she-demons I've waited for this day. The day when I can finally kill off whatever power they wielded, or better yet mould that power into that which benefits me. COLE What is he talking about? COACH I dunno, but I'm willing to bet it's got something to do with th... MONEYMAKER As we speak, Alix Maria Spezia is readying her debut album. And I'm sure you'll all be eager to rush out and buy a copy at the first chance you get, even with the knowledge that by doing so, you'll be providing me with more small change. You see, Alix has found a home, and she along with Mackenzie was key in providing this vital information. As for you, Krista, I know you were always the 'brains' of your little outfit, even when half paralytic from alcohol misuse! And I know you've got too much of that dirty substance they call 'pride' to ever see the light, realise the opportunities I could grant you. No no. See, you were never one to be reformed or reprogrammed. Which is why I knew you had to be DESTROYED! Your credibility, DESTROYED, just like you've attempted to do to me since the very day we met! You rely on these people hanging on your every word. You rely on them buying your merchandise, watching your foul reality television, purchasing your keep-fit videos. Paying your lavish lifestyle. There's only one lifestyle worth living around here now Krista. Your lifestyle... your LIFE... is as of this moment a cold, unbearable hell! Moneymaker toys with the microphone, smiling, almost too excited to get his announcement out. MONEYMAKER If only they knew, Krista. If only they knew your deepest, darkest secrets. Not the drunken, light-hearted confessionals we hear week in and week out, but your most private of shames. The kind of information you share with only your nearest and your dearest... which in your case is a very select group of halfwits! And if only they, Krista, had the avenues open to them that Theodore Moneymaker has, to take that secret and to discover a way to make it even more unbearable for you. If only they knew Krista. If only your loyal fans knew of the baby you abandoned in your teenage years!! ............ .... MONEYMAKER "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER Krista, you're not better than the common gutter sluts that plaster the pages of Hollywood dirtsheets you turn your nose up at. All of your high and mighty airs and graces, all a sham. For you have been hiding the fact that you the lesbian libertarian gave it up when you were just a impressionable innocent teenager, then took one look at your first born child and sent it away. I wonder, Krista, whether your second-born knows about this or not. Oh, wait... I guess she does now! BWAHAHAHA!! The crowd don't seem to be able to even boo anymore, just listening in disbelief. MONEYMAKER And Krista, the best, most juiciest part of this situation. The fact that this unwanted offspring happens to work for the same company that you so publicly ridicule at every turn, the OAOAST! I guess now we know why you suffer through all the paychecks to stay here amongst us 'mere mortals'. Krista, you've got a lot to answer for. To the fans who you've conned and mislead into following you. To the child you shunned to protect your precious image. To yourself. I just hope, for your sake Krista, that you go away... I cannot emphasise those two words enough... and you think long and hard about the unrealistic portrayal of yourself that you've put forward for all these years. And hey, when you look at the kid you DID keep and she looks up at you with those doe-eyes, wondering what her older brother or sister did wrong to be quietly transported across the country and dumped at someone's doorsteps, wondering if you ever tried to do the same with her... I just hope all that booze you keep around that mansion of yours isn't enough to put you away for good! Because I wanna watch you squirm Krista. I wanna watch you slowly deteriorate in front of the eyes you've been so careful in front of, the eyes of the viewing world. And I wanna wait until you finally crack and you finally tell the person in that locker room who you spewed out of that well-worn vagina of yours, just how you abandoned them at their first breath. Then Krista... then, we'll see just what amount of your trademark wise-cracks and antics you have left. Or, whether in fact, it's me, Theodore Moneymaker, who has the last laugh. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Moneymaker drops the microphone and after a awkward delay, "Money Talks" begins to play again to a much more silent crowd than before. Tilting his head back, the laughing Moneymaker chuckles away to the heavens, clearly getting a sick kick out of the life-altering announcement he just made. COACH Mister Moneymaker, got up in dat ass! To kill a person and leave 'em dead is nothing, to kill a person and leave 'em living, that's something! That's what Mister Moneymaker did. COLE What he did was reprehensible. Beyond reprehensible. I just don't have the worlds to describe how disgusting that entire segment was. And for him to gloat, and cheer, and laugh over the fact that he's brought so much misery into Krista's life, is sickening. Its sickening. And think of the child, who's entire life up to this moment has been a lie. Neither Krista nor her child deserved that. What kind of person is Theodore Moneymaker? COACH One you don't want to fuck with! COLE Ugh. Folks we'll be back with our first Anderson Cup match of the night! COMING UP NEXT ANDERSON CUP ACTION TEAM HEYROSS VS JUMBO AND DEUCE NEXT Edited January 25, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody plays, and Deuce Deuce Bigelow comes through the curtains, followed by Jumbo. COLE And we're ready for first-round Anderson Cup action! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a first-round match in the Anderson Cup tournament! Introducing first, they are the #6 seed in the Los Infernales bracket! Weighing in at a combined weight of 830 pounds...introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada......DEUCCCCCCE DEUCCCCCCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWii!!! *crowd cheers* BUFFER His tag team partner, from Chicago, Illinois...JUMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! COACH Well, this would be a big upset if Deuce and Jumbo could hand a defeat to Team Heyross! COLE And the winner of this one will meet the Heavenly Rockers in the next round, as they picked up a win over the South Central Militia two weeks ago! Jumbo and Deuce take a lap around the ring to give fives to the fans, then climb in and wait in their corner as Shine by Collective Soul hits and Team Heyross walks through the curtains. BUFFER Their opponents, at a combined weight of 485 pounds...they are the #3 seed in the Los Infernales Bracket...the team of CHARLIE MOSS and QUENTIN BENJAMIN...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And even though Team Heyross is a 3 seed, I've got to think they've got as good of a shot as anyone in this thing! COACH I definitely agree, Cole, this is a tremendous tag team! Team Heyross slides into the ring and pose on the buckles, then, as Deuce drops his jacket outside the ring, both men hop down and dropkick him over the top rope! *DING DING DING* COLE And we're under way! Jumbo goes after Benjamin, but gets jumped from behind by Moss, and a double-team ensues. Moss and Benjamin hammer on the back of Jumbo, then send him across the ring. Jumbo ducks a double clothesline, and flattens them with one of his own! COLE And a big double clothesline from Jumbo! Moss retreats to a corner, and Jumbo waits for him to get to his feet, and whips Benjamin across into him. At this point, Deuce is back in the ring, and Jumbo grabs him by the arm and whips him into Team Heyross! Jumbo then backs into the far corner, getting the crowd into it, and charges, piling into all three men! COLE And Team Heyross crushed in the corner, bailing out! COACH Deuce and Jumbo able to make a quick comeback from that sneak attack, and Team Heyross is in trouble! Jumbo and Deuce follow them out and engage in a slugfest, winning handily. Jumbo then grabs Moss, and Deuce grabs Benjamin, and Team Heyross is whipped into one another! Jumbo then tosses Moss into the ring, and executes a back suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First cover of the match, and Jumbo gets two! Jumbo tags in Deuce, then bodyslams Moss. Deuce measures Moss, and drops a big elbow! COLE Big-time elbowdrop from Deuce Deuce Bigelow! Deuce gets up, backs into the ropes, and drops another! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Deuce gives Moss a gutwrench suplex, then tags in Jumbo, who holds Moss back for a savate kick before Deuce exits the ring. COLE Nice kick from Deuce, as he and Jumbo are making quick tags! Jumbo hits a backbreaker on Moss, then sits down and applies a camel clutch! COLE Submission hold applied by Jumbo! COACH And that's a lot of weight for Moss to try to move across the ring! But he doesn't have to, because Benjamin jumps into the ring and nails Jumbo from behind. Jumbo stares down Benjamin as the referee ushers him out of the ring, then picks up Moss and tags Deuce. Jumbo assists Deuce in an Irish whip, and they drop Moss with a double elbow! As the referee ushers out Jumbo, Deuce runs to the ropes, only to have Benjamin pull them down and send him crashing to the floor! COACH Smart move by Quentin Benjamin! COLE And now Deuce is hurting on the floor! Benjamin gloats about his feat, as Deuce attempts to slide back into the ring, but is stomped back down to the floor. He then jumps down and rolls Deuce back into the ring. He gets a tag from Moss, goes to the top rope, and drills Deuce with a missile dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Big move from Quentin Benjamin, but it only gets a two-count! Benjamin whips Deuce into the ropes, and hits a Frankensteiner! COACH Nice move right there! That's a lot of momentum needed to take over a 400-pounder like that! He then tags in Moss, who picks him up and executes a Russian legsweep! Cover... 1... 2... Deuce kicks out again! COLE But Deuce keeps kicking out! Moss picks up Deuce and tags in Benjamin, and the duo executes a double-bodyslam! Both men then drop elbows on Deuce, before Moss exits the ring. COACH And this right here is why Team Heyross is so dangerous! Great double-team moves! Benjamin drags Deuce over to the ropes, then chokes him by pushing his knee into the back of his head! The referee counts, and Benjamin releases at four. Moss jumps off the apron and does some more choking as the referee restrains Benjamin. This draws Jumbo into the ring, and the official meets him as Moss slides into the ring, and he and Benjamin quickly hit the DOUBLE GOOZLE on Deuce! COLE And there's the Double Goozle from Team Heyross! Benjamin covers, as Jumbo gets out and the referee counts... 1... 2... But Deuce kicks out yet again! COLE And still, they can't keep Deuce down! COACH He can probably smell your hot dog over here, and that keeps him going! COLE Oh, stop! COACH Hurry up and eat that, that's a foreign object! Moss chokes away at Deuce, breaking at the referee's four-count. Moss then ascends the top rope, and comes off...right onto the raised boot of Deuce! COLE And now Deuce with a chance to make a tag! However Moss lands right by his corner, and is easily able to tag Benjamin in time for him to stop a tag attempt with a running elbowdrop to the back! Benjamin then turns and delivers a cheap shot to Jumbo, drawing him into the ring! The referee restrains him as Moss comes back in, and gives Deuce a slingshot, right into a Benjamin superkick! COLE More great teamwork from Team Heyross, as the referee's back is turned! Benjamin covers... 1... 2... NO! Kickout! Moss immediately comes back into the ring, and he and Benjamin set up a double suplex. However, Deuce is somehow able to block, and amazingly suplexes both members of Team Heyross! COLE And a great show of power by Deuce! NOW can he make a tag? Deuce pulls himself towards an anxious Jumbo, as Moss starts to come to. Deuce inches closer and closer, and then, as Moss is just about to pull him back, Deuce falls into Jumbo and MAKES THE TAG~! COLE Tag made, and it's Jumbo in there! Moss tries to beg off, but Jumbo scores with a foot to the midsection, then whips him into the ropes, and gives him a BIG backdrop! Clothesline for Benjamin! Clothesline for Moss! Jumbo gives Benjamin a trapped-arm belly-to-belly, and covers... 1... 2... NO! Moss saves! Moss and Benjamin pound on Jumbo, then whip him to the ropes, but Jumbo ducks a double clothesline and takes both men down with a running shoulderblock! COLE And Jumbo came in there like a runaway freight train! Jumbo then sets Moss on the top rope and follows him up. COLE And Jumbo could be going for his superplex here! However, before he can go up, Benjamin comes in with a knee to the back from behind. Moss stands up on the top rope, as Benjamin holds Jumbo, then comes off...but Jumbo moves, and Moss nails Benjamin inadvertently! COLE Miscommunication from Team Heyross, and this could be the big chance for Jumbo and Deuce! Deuce drags Benjamin into the corner and hammers away, as Jumbo hammers away on Moss. Deuce charges Benjamin, as Jumbo sets Moss up for the the FINAL CUT~! COACH Uh-oh...this doesn't look good for Team Heyross! Benjamin dodges Deuce's charge, and Deuce tumbles right to the floor! Benjamin then climbs to the top rope, and hits a big knee to the back of Jumbo. Moss gets up, and he and Benjamin join up for a DOUBLE FLATLINER~! COLE Big move from Team Heyross! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH YES! *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Great effort from Jumbo and Deuce, but it's Team Heyross who will advance in the 2008 Anderson Cup! COACH And what a matchup that sets up, Cole! COLE Absolutely, Team Heyross vs The Heavenly Rockers! Should be a classic tag team matchup! Let's go to... The backstage view is that of Theodore Moneymaker strolling about the hallway with Christian Wright, both men keenly aware of the power they currently wield as not a single soul dares to venture within an inch of their space. Moneymaker and Wright can still hear the insulting comments spoken behind their back, but the fear seeping off their owners paints smiles onto the Enterprise duo's faces. WRIGHT Why, Mister Moneymaker, I pray you, victimize me not with your chicanery! If you have any secrets to be heard, speak of them now. Do tell me the identity to Krista's spawn. MONEYMAKER Not even for triple the money I made off my investments this week, would I dare reveal this secret. To see the masterstroke of my brilliance play out to its inevitable gruesome end, is worth its weight in any a country's currency. BWAHAHHA! WRIGHT Then I will follow here in the chase, not like a hound that hunts but one that stands up to cry. Make me party to the process of Krista's destruction, not spectator to her demise. Moneymaker simply smiles and whistles as he continues his victory parade down the hallway. WRIGHT Dost thou hear, my honest friend? MONEYMAKER I hear no honest friends. I hear you! HAHAHAHAHA! SHAYNE (off screen) You! To Wright's annoyance, but Moneymaker's surprisingly grand amusement, Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant rush onto the scene, fists clenched, mouths scowling, and wrestling tights embarrassingly worn backwards. MONEYMAKER BWAHHAHHA! Look, Mister Wright, the Clark Kent twins have emerged from the phone booth, hands held against hips, chins tilted into the air, and cape fluttering in the wind, ready to defend the honor and the integrity of their crush, Krista Isadora Duncan. WRIGHT Indeed! Do proceed, good sirs! Mister Moneymaker has laid the threat of emotional death upon the heart of Krista, and it would be a disgrace to her for you to wink at this discourse! Raise your cutlass and clash our swords, with all your strength, all your resolve, and all your heart for Krista's honor. Needing no more of an invitation, D*LUX raise their fist to fight. MONEYMAKER But, I guess I need to warn you, that you're fighting a battle that even if you win, you'll still lose, because in one fifteen minute segment I've scorched the earth of Krista's pride. Me. I've brought unimaginable confusion and chaos to your precious pinup, I've brought upon the death of her perfectly crafted Hollywood image, and from here on out it only gets worse. TYLER Oh yeah? MONEYMAKER BWAHAHHAHA! Much worse. Much, much, worse. The longer this tragic comedy drags on, the greater the intrigue grows. The greater the intrigue, the greater and more constant the questions on the child's identity, the more constant the questions the greater the stress on Krista's life, the greater the stress the greater the pain. The greater the pain, the end of Krista. Not Krista the celebrity. Krista the person. The end of Krista the person, the beginning of a lifelong toast to my scheming excellence. SHAYNE Hey, man, enough of your junk! TYLER Right! We didn't come to here to hear your crap, we came to beat it out of you. For Krista! SHAYNE For Krista! Even though Wright seems itching for a fight, Moneymaker calmly holds his hand up in order to continue the discussion. MONEYMAKER Yes, yes, good, great, fabulous, what fine upstanding gentlemen you are, a credit to the OAOAST and all that rubbish. Save your attitude and aggression for our Anderson Cup bout. Though I don't blame you or even consider chastising you for crossing the path of a billion dollar juggernaut. After all, what young boy doesn't wish to rush to the defense of his mommy? TYLER Righ...what? MONEYMAKER Cut the childish bullcrap, and speak to me like a real human. I know the idea that Krista is one of your mothers must've entered your head the exact moment I made my announcement. You're the perfect ages to be her kid, and it explains why you've admired her so greatly, revered her so strongly...lusted after her so perversely? Yes that's right, little kids, the constant fodder for your midnight games of one man tug of war, could be your mother! Some people keep pictures of their mother on their mantle near peacefully burning fires. You however keep the stuck together, semen coated pages of your mother's swimsuit calendar under your piss soaked mattress. Some children can spend three months looking for the perfect gift to give their mother for mother's day. You'll spend three minutes polishing your wand, and dumping your baby gravy onto your mom's latest spread in SHAPE magazine. Think of all the tents you pitched when those massive breasts heaved inches from your face. Think of every time you were in a match with her and you couldn't control yourself every time you were given a peek down her shirt. Think of all the kleenex you burnt through while that BUTT bounced and jiggled in the tightest of spandex in her fitness videos. Think of the heights of self pleasure her statuesque tan legs have taken you to and realize THAT COULD BE YOUR MOTHER! And away D*LUX goes, running down the hallway with road runner like speed, presumably to throw up every meal they've ever had. MONEYMAKER BWAHHHAHAAHA! WRIGHT HAHAHAHAHAAH! MONEYMAKER What's funny? I don't know what you're laughing at, you're in the exact same boat. Yes that's right, little Wright, the constant fodder for your midnight games of one man tug of war, could be your mother! Some people keep pictures of their mother on their mantle near peacefully burning fires. You however keep the stuck together, semen coated pages of your mother's swimsuit calendar under your piss soaked mattress. Some children can spend three months looking for the perfect gift to give their mother for mother's day. You'll spend three minutes polishing your wand, and dumping your baby gravy onto your mom's latest spread in SHAPE magazine. Think of all the tents you pitched when those massive breasts heaved inches from your face. Think of every time you were in a match with her and you couldn't control yourself every time you were given a peek down her shirt. Think of all the kleenex you burnt through while that BUTT bounced and jiggled in the tightest of spandex in her fitness videos. Think of the heights of self pleasure her statuesque tan legs have taken you to and realize THAT COULD BE YOUR MOTHER! Face absent of color, Wright rushes down the hall, most likely headed to find out if D*LUX has any room left at the toilet they're puking in. MONEYMAKER BWAHAHHAHA! Come back, Oedipus, you still have to carve out your eyes! BWAHAHHAHA! We fade out with Moneymaker continuing to chuckle at the misfortunes he continually creates. COLE That man is sick! COMMERCIAL Edited January 25, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) OAOAST QuizDown is presented by Anglepalooza, this Sunday on PPV Before becoming a spokesperson for environmental concerns, Biff was the off kilter nutrition guru who boasted this peculiar fetish: A.Hair fetish B.Crushing fetish C.Spandex fetish D.Stuffed animal fetish The Answer Still To Come "Getting Away With Murder" welcomes us back to HeldDOWN~!, and both the fans in the arena and those watching at home are equally happy to see ZACK MALIBU make his arrival on tonight's edition of the OAOAST's famed show. COLE We were scheduled last week to get a word with Zack regarding his participation in the Lethal Rumble this Sunday, and the friendly competition he has going on with Bohemoth, however last week Zack got a little sidetracked, as he was called out by Christian Wright, immediately after The Enterprise had scored a victory over Rescue 911! COACH CW thought that Zack chose him as Bo's opponent two weeks ago for Pick Your Poison was to avoid a confrontation with him, but Zack came out and took up the challenge...and got a little help from Bo along the way. COLE I wouldn't call it help, Coach. Bohemoth hit the ring to even the odds after the ref went down, and disposed of Moneymaker and CPA, leaving Zack and Wright to finish things mano y mano, and Zack chalked up another "W" at the expense of CW! Malibu, for the second week in a row clad casually and not for battle, takes the mic, and gives the fans a minute to collect themselves and soften the "ZACK" chant that makes the walls of the arena vibrate. Once things are settled, Zack starts talking, letting us know what's been on his mind. MALIBU I was supposed to have this time last week, but we all know how that went...and I guess it's good that I got this time this week, because I've got a few things to say about last week! COACH Did you catch all that, Mikey? COLE Sssh, quiet. MALIBU Last week, Christian Wright laid out a challenge, and implied that two weeks back, on the night of the "Pick Your Poison" matchups, that I chose him as Bo's opponent because I feared Christian Wright. That I felt that Christian Wright would be a setback on my quest to get back to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. I don't know if in his deluded mindset he believed this, or if it was just some type of trap all along, the bottom line is that Christian Wright, last week you're the one who got knocked down a peg or two. That victory over Rescue 911 didn't even have a chance to settle in before I nearly sent your teeth traveling down your throat with a School's Out! The crowd roars, obviously pleased with INTENSE~! Zack. MALIBU I do have to say one other thing though, and that goes to Bohemoth. Bo, you could have left me out there to take a beating, but you proved why you're a man's man last week, coming out and clearing the ring of The Enterprise when they were beating me down. You could have used that as an opportunity to get me softened up so you could get ahead, but you didn't, and for that, you have my respect. The crowd applauds the show of sportsmanship, and Malibu nods his head, approving of the crowd reaction. Within moments though, Malibu's recap of the last week is cut off by the very man he just gave thanks to! "Liberate" by Disturbed kicks in, and the crowd pops for the arrival of the always well-dressed hoss, who is making his way to the ring with a smirk stretched across his face. COLE Bohemoth heading to the ring, and Zack looks a little wary of this. Bo steps into the ring and brushes past Malibu, getting on the ropes and flexing a bit for the crowd. As his music dies down, Bo comes over and locks eyes with Malibu, and the two superstars, both looking to be the next World Heavyweight Champion, are eye to eye. Bo then motions for another microphone, which he gets, and starts to add his two cents to Malibu's thoughts. BO First off, let me just say that I appreciate what you said, and that the respect you have for me is reciprocated in full, so one of the reasons I'm out here right now, is so you can shake my hand on that! Malibu hesitates for a moment, but then shakes the hand of the big man, drawing another favorable response. BO Now, with you knowing that, I have something to confess to you, Zack. What you said a few minutes ago, about me leaving you high and dry? Yeah, I could have done that. I could have sat in the back and watched them pound on you, but then I thought to myself "I can't let this happen"...and it wasn't for the reason you'd think, Zack. Zack, and the rest of the world, now seem perplexed, but Bo presses on. BO If I hadn't come out here, Zack...if I hadn't cleared the ring, what would have happened when the referee woke up? You would have gotten the win by disqualification. You'd have had a few more bumps and bruises, but you'd have won. It's the same reason why I threw Christian Wright back into the ring last week...do you think that it was to set you up for the win? Do you think, in the middle of this World Title chase we've got going on, that I'd HELP you win? Zack, I threw him back into the ring so that you didn't get a countout win! Zack now sees where Bo is going with this, and doesn't look too happy. Neither are a few fans, as some scattered but audible boos are heard. BO I'm telling you face to face, man to man, because that's how I do things, Zack, and I know that's how you do things. I didn't come out here to help YOU, I came out here to help MYSELF! The fact that you got the win is fine, and congratulations on it...but don't mistake respect for friendship, Zack. Don't think the respect changes the fact that we want the same things. Don't think that come Sunday, when you and I are in the Lethal Rumble, that if it comes down between you and I at the end, that I won't hurl your ass to the floor and take the high road to Anglemania! MALIBU OK, OK, I get it...but don't YOU forget that if you find your back against the wall sometime, I have a choice on what I want to do. You were out here last week and had my back, and I appreciate that...but if you want to play the selfish card, that can go two ways. Don't think that I'm above doing these same things, Bo. I've been through more in the last six years than you have in your entire life. I fight, I bleed, I EXIST for my family, for these fans, and for this company...but don't you think for a second that I can't be a selfish son of a bitch, because if THAT is the game you're looking to play, then you best be prepared to lose ANOTHER competition! The mood is tense now, and the two superstars are eye to eye again. Bo steps back, puts his hands up in surrender, and starts to speak. BO Look, Zack...we're saying things now in the heat of the moment that we may regret in the morning, so let's just cut our losses while we can. I'm not going to screw up your chances at trying to become World Champion again, and I know that you're not going to do it to me either. Moments like this, it just adds to the fire inside us, it adds to the thrill of the chase, and it couldn't come at a better time, because come Sunday, I'm going cut through this roster like a buzzsaw, and I'M going to be the one with his hand raised, flying first class to a World Title match at the event that made you a name! So Zack, know that I respect you. Know that I'm watching out for you, and know that if it comes down to you and me that all I can say is...better luck next time. Bo puts the mic down and steps back, staring at Malibu, whose anger has died down into a still-stern look. Bohemoth exits the ring, and the camera pans in on Zack, pondering the possible outcomes of the Lethal Rumble at Anglepalooza this Sunday. FADE OUT. COMMERCIAL COLE Earlier tonight, we saw Theodore Moneymaker in jubilant mood. Little did we know the bombshell he was about to drop on us all, regarding Krista and her... illegitimate child. COACH Seriously, can we not have ONE original idea around here!? COLE Coach! This isn't the time for jokes, come on. I still can't believe what we heard earlier, certainly not what we expected on the road to AnglePalooza. And we understand that Moneymaker has refused to allow our backstage correspondent Josh Matthews into The Enterprise dressing room for any further comments, Josh has been standing by outside as apparently the partying has begun inside. That is just... despicable in my book. Right now, let's take you other to another of our colleagues, Gene Okerlund is standing by. We swoop over to the interview stage, where the incomparable Mene Gene is indeed ready and waiting. OKERLUND Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to bring out my guests, the members of Internationally Known... and accompanied by Megan Skye, former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Landon Maddix! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Megalomaniac" curiously plays out not just Landon and Megan, but also all three members of Internationally Known. Landon and Megan lead the way to the interview stage while their newfound friends tail behind, Black mouthing off at the fans near the stage and holding up Blonde and Faqu. That gives Blonde chance to show off 'his' One and Only World Tag Team Championship belt to the camera, pointing out the other half of the stolen championships in the mouth of Faqu. Eventually all three make it onto the stage and assemble themselves around Landon, who chews away on a stick of gum nonchalantly. OKERLUND Gentlemen, right off the bat, I have to ask... who am I directing the questions to here? Just who is the 'ring leader' in all of this? MADDIX Come on Gene, you should know better than to ask that. Landon grins back at his IK buddies. OKERLUND In that case, maybe you can explain the situation to the world. What sort of deal or agreement is there between you and these three men standing behind you? MADDIX It's very simple. It's a case of 'what can I do for you, what can you do for me'? It's a mutual agreement, based on mutual benefits. When I came to this company I was a part of a group you might remember called The Wildcards. And we, The Wildcards, caused plenty of noise and had plenty of success. Me, Bruce Blank, Bloodshed... and Todd Cortez. Landon scowls as a few fans cheer Todd's name. MADDIX We were a group of outsiders and it's no secret, we took comfort in having a strength in numbers up against the entire OAOAST. Then, earlier this year, it began to fall apart. Bloodshed went first and nobody ever heard from him again... which, let's be honest, was for the best, but still. With Bloodshed gone we were down to three. Then, Bruce lost Survive Or Surrender and that was the last we'll see of him in the OAOAST. Leaving just me and Todd, which was as good as being alone. Infact, it was worse than being alone. I knew that Cortez couldn't be trusted. But I stuck by him, partly because the entire OAOAST was still on my back over the 'Wildcard' thing, but mainly out of the goodness of my heart. I tried to save him from disappearing into obscurity like the rest of The Wildcards. And sure enough, eventually, he stabbed me in the back like the coward he is! OKERLUND I'm not sure that's how it went down at all. MADDIX I'm pretty sure it was. Check the tapes. OKERLUND I fail to see what this has to do with these three. MADDIX Well, it's safe to say that I don't have many friends around these parts. I didn't get off on the best foot with a lot of guys. So when Cortez back-stabbed me, that left me with nobody to rely on. Nobody to watch my back. And it occurs to me that, when the same Todd Cortez is running around trying to break my neck with his ridiculous piledriver every time I turn around, I might need that back-up. After all, I'm a busy guy. So I turned to someone. Guys who can be trusted. These three men. Landon points out the trio behind him. MADDIX What can they do for me? Simple. They can watch my back, like they watch each other's. I make no secrets about it. Now, you're probably thinking 'what reason do these three have to do that'. What possible loyalty could they have to me. Again, simple. What can I do for them? Look at these three. All talented. All with tons of potential. All with credentials. And all binded together by one common denominator... there's sick of their lack of opportunities in this company. They forged a bond in the hope that strength in numbers would help them coming out of Japan. A lot like The Wildcards, come to think of it. See, I can sympathise with these three. But I can also help them out. Associating themselves with the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, the 2007 Wrestler Of The Year, it can only help their cause. Which is why, officially as of this moment, you are looking at the leader of Cucaracha Internacional! The OAOAST version. And just look at the instant benefits. Nathaniel Black, in the next round of the Anderson Cup. James Blonde and the Samoan Bulldozer, Faqu, holding the Tag Team Titles! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde raises 'his' half of the titles over his head, while Faqu continues to chew away on his. OKERLUND I'm sure The Lone Star Gunslingers, the Tag Team Champions, would have something to say about that. MADDIX Yes. Probably something along the lines of "Boy howdy pard'ner, I wish our wrasslin' pants weren't so dawg dang small so we had some'a that credability people are always talkin' about!" I mean, seriously. Are we seriously supposed to be worried about The Gunslingers. Two pussy whipped Texans? If they were so "rootin' and tootin'", surely they'd have come back after their belts by now? OKERLUND Well, they'll get their chance at AnglePalooza. Hopefully you'll have other things to concern yourself with on Sunday. MADDIX I will, but Megan will be out there with James and Faqu again. And of course, I look out for her at all times. That's the other thing these guys will get, see. Megan's expert managerial advice. Can you believe, seriously, that the blonde stick managing the Gunslingers won Manager Of The Year!? Over Megan!? I mean, it stands to reason that the manager of the Wrestler Of The Year should therefore be the best manager, right? I'm not even sure she classes as a 'manager'. Standing around and looking pretty, picking theme music, buying her client's clothes for them... Megan does ALL of those things to a much higher standard than 'Melody Nerdly', isn't that right? MEGAN Uh... yeah, I guess. But trust me, I do more than just manage... and clothes shop, apparantly. If Melody puts her hands on me again like she did last week, she'll find out I can kick ass as well! MADDIX HAWT! OKERLUND And as far as the Lethal Rumble goes... MADDIX As far as the Lethal Rumble goes, I've already set my stall out early. I am guaranteeing victory this Sunday, not because it makes me look good and not because it gets people talking, but because it's my match to win. At the risk of repeating myself, there's nothing and nobody out there who's gonna stop me from getting my rightful, long overdue shot at the World Heavyweight Championship one more time. OKERLUND But you know Todd Cortez wi... MADDIX Listen, Todd Cortez is a one-move wonder. And that one move doesn't end with somebody flying over the top rope. I've got a feeling that Todd Cortez won't be an issue come this Sunday. Nobody will. Nothing will. Mark my words. Quote me on this. You're looking at the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble, going all the way to LA, AngleMania VII, leaving one more time OAOAST World Champion. Be they big, be they bad... those 29 other entrants better Prepare For Landon! "Megalomaniac" cues up again as Landon and Blonde high-five, Black grinning on as the crowd boo away. COLE Landon Maddix, confident as ever. Is it misplaced confidence going into this Sunday and the Lethal Rumble? COACH Are you kidding? He's the odds on favourite as far as I'm concerned. Look at his record in battle royals, here and over at the SWF... who's got a better credential than Landon? I don't know if anyone does. COLE We'll see how he fares this Sunday. And we'll see how his new found friends fare against the fiery youngsters The Lonestar Gunslingers. Both teams have to be keeping a keen eye on tonight's Anderson Cup matches. Their Anglemania opponents could be competing tonight. Folks, we'll be right back with more in ring action, as Black Widow returns to OAOAST action after these commercial messages! COMING UP NEXT BLACK WIDOW RETURNS NEXT Edited January 25, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 OAOAST HeldDOWN is brought to you by.... Go to OAOASTShop.com to buy the latest in OAOAST merchandise! Toys! Belts! T-shirts! Foam hands! Bandanas! Chains! Wrist bands! And anything else your heart desires! You can find what the OAOAST superstars wear at only one place, OAOASTShop.com! AOL keyword: OAOASTShop! NOW AVAILABLE AT OAOASTShop Abdullah Abir Nerdly You know him as a guide to the infinite. As a bright star in a world shrouded in darkness. As a messenger nurtured inside heaven's golden womb As a speaker for the will of the prophets and ideas of the gods. Now you will know him as your personal guide to spiritual betterment with the seven disc DVD set Key To The Beyond. Your's for only four hundred dollars. ABDULLAH We live in a world corrupted by malcontent forces, driven into the depths of hades by pagan idolaters. Its a world under attack by thought terrorists and their blasphemous voodoo science beliefs! How can you survive? You can not, brothers and sisters! Evil is upon us, and it will soon prevail, brothers and sisters. Yes it will! The only hope any of us has is in the salvation of my teachings. Come take my hand, and let me guide you past the tenebrous evil around us, and into genuine, spiritual, peace. I am an inspirational leader to man, and a speaker for the prophets. I am the Key To The Beyond. And By... BIGGER THAN KRISTA'S TITS The 30 men over the top rope Lethal Rumble! Sunday night, January 27 live on pay-per-view. Order now! COLE Well, Coach, tonight we see the return of Black Widow to OAOAST action and the debut of MISS JOBS, signed to a deal just yesterday. COACH I'm always down with new Divas, Cole. The lights go dark and FULLY ALIVE by Flyleaf hits. The AngleTron shows us the video for Black Widow, comprised of her original run, complete with snippets here and there of Spider Poet in the background. Widow emerges with Phoenix in tow. Dressed in a black tank top with a spider emblem on the chest, black spandex shorts, black elbow and arm pads and knee-high black boots with a dozen buckles running up the sides, she pauses on at the top of the ramp to Pose~! The crowd gives a warm welcome, which she soaks up. A sparkling, warm smile and bright blue eyes are framed by light, long black hair. Phoenix proudly stays in the back, out of her spotlight. She makes her way down the ramp with him in tow. COLE Black Widow returns to the OAOAST, along with her old flame Spider-Poet. COACH You mean Lunar Phoenix. Gotta keep up with current events, Mikey. Widow slides in and hits the turnbuckle for a pose. The crowd pops! COACH Sounds like the crowd is pumped to have her back. COLE I'm pumped! COACH I thought I told you to keep that thing away from the booth, Cole! COLE Shut up, Coachman. A WICKED LAUGH fills the arena - a girlish giggle. Miss Jobbs is already out at the top of the ramp as her theme music kicks in - "New World Symphony" by Miri Ben-Ari and Pharoahe Monch. She's properly whored up, with tons of bright blue eyeliner and bright red lipstick. Blond pigtails bounce over near-bare shoulders as spaghetti straps barely hold up a white rubber top with a black smile smeared across it, which stops just below her ample bosom. White rubber shorts and bare feet follow, and a devious grin. Jobbs skips down the ring to the bewilderment of the crowd. COLE Damn! COACH Yeah, fereal, but she looks dumb as a rock. … just my type. Widow and Phoenix exchange a look of uncertainty and amused confusion. Miss Jobbs cartwheels over the ropes and lands ready for action, staring across the ring at Widow. Phoenix exits with a pat on the back to Widow. The Ref signals and the bell RINGS! Lock up in the middle, which turns into a power struggle for a few seconds before Widow slips free and spins it into an Irish Whip. Jobbs rebounds and Widow drops, forcing Jobbs to leap over and come off the other side. Widow rolls over and shoots her legs out - DROP TOE HOLD! Jobbs goes flat, smacking her face against the mat. She bounces, settles on her elbows and holds her nose. Widow takes advantage and locks in a quick FIGURE FOUR! On the outside, Phoenix grins, slapping the apron in approval. COLE Actual wrestling from these divas! Not that we expected less from Black Widow. The Figure Four stays for a bit, as Widow and Jobbs sway back and forth as Jobbs tries to turn it over and reverse it. She can't quiet get it turned, but she does worm her way to the ropes and grabs hold. Widow releases it at once and gets to her feet. She charges back against the far ropes, intending on a spear through the other side, but Jobbs pulls herself up the ropes, plants her feet on the middle rope and LAUNCHES back - SPINNING ELBOW! Widow is knocked sprawling. Doesn't last long. Both ladies are up and coming at each other. Jobbs throws the first punch and lands two more, trying to drive Widow to the corner, but on the fourth Widow blocks, lands a punch herself. It stuns Jobbs long enough to buy a quick whip right to the corner. Widow goes in for a forearm to the head, but Jobbs throws an elbow back. She turns as Widow stumbles back, but Widow comes back immediately with a BOOT to the gut. Jobbs doubles over, Widow grabs her hair and yanks her in, hooking her head with a yelp. Widow charges the corner, RUNS UP two turnbuckles, LAUNCHES, SPINS - DDT~! COLE Widow with some air! COACH That was a hell of a thing. Jobbs is rocked, but still in the game. Widow tries to haul her up, but she lands a couple of forearms to the gut to put some distance between them. Jobbs is up and forces Widow to the ropes, launching her into a high power whip. Widow flies against the far ropes and boomerangs back - Jobbs lands a HIPTOSS, and capitalizes with a SLEEPER. Jobbs locks it in and forces them back towards the center of the ring as Widow tries to fight out. Widow tries to power up, but Jobbs cranks it hard, forcing them back down. Widow tries to rock from side to side to break it up, but can't. Jobbs is locked in tight. COLE Not the flashiest thing ever but it's a nice tactic. COACH Some ol' school rasslin, Cole. Ref is in there, checking. Raises the arm once - falls. Raises the arm a second time. Falls. COLE This one could be over. The ref raises the arm a third time as Phoenix looks on. It fa--NO! Widow throws it up, fist clenched tight in defiance, shaking with adrenaline. Trying her best to haul them both up. SHE DOES! She reaches back on shaky feet, wraps her hands around Jobbs' head and DROPS! JAWBREAKER! Jobbs, JARRED, bounces up and back, instantly rolling over and kicking her feet in pain. Widow , gasping, dizzy, collapses. She distractedly searches for the rope but doesn't find it. Jobbs, a trickle of blood running down her chin, finds the ropes across the ring and pulls herself up. She hangs out there for a moment, getting her bearings. It gives Widow the time to get to her knees. Jobbs sees it and doesn't want to risk not going in for the kill. She gets over there, pulls Widow up and pushes her to the ropes with a couple of forearms. Widow launches, streaks across, comes off the other side - JOBBS SETS -- WIDOW SPINS! FLOATOVER DDT! THE CROWD POPS~! COACH Widow turns it around! Where the hell did she pull that from?! Both women are down, spent, stunned in the middle of the ring. The crowd starts up a clap and a cheer to try and get some energy to Widow. It seems to work as she slowly gets to her feet. She grabs Jobbs's hand and drags her towards the corner, but the match has taken a toll. Widow gets her where she wants her and leans against the turnbuckle, exhausted. The clap starts back up. At ringside, Phoenix looks around and points at her, joining in the clap. COLE Listen to this. The crowd is behind Widow one hundred percent! COACH You don't see that too often. Widow nods to her self and HAULS herself up - TO THE TOP! COLE High risk maneuver coming up… Widow goes for a MOONSAULT - JOBBS PICKS THE KNEES UP! CRACK! Widow's back bends unnaturally across Jobb's knees. She flops away, screaming! Jobbs KIPS UP! COLE Where the hell did she get that kind of energy from? She paces around the ring, looking at the possibly injured Widow with … glee. A big smile and a giggle come from Jobbs as she paces back and forth. COLE What in the hell is up with this chick? Jobbs pulls a handkerchief out of her cleavage and begins wiping her face down - her fleshtone makeup SMEARS AWAY! A pasty white layer lies beneath. THE RINGPOSTS EXPLODE! PURPLE PYRO and GREEN GAS billows out, flooding the ring area. Chaos and confusion reign - THE LIGHTS GO OUT! Only for a moment. When they come back on, JESTER is standing in the ring, dressed in a purple flack jacket, green tights and a heavy, purple corduroy trench coat. Jester is right behind the ref, who never sees the CHAIR SHOT coming! COACH Holy shit, Cole! Phoenix is in the ring now as the smoke is clearing, putting himself between the still hurting Widow and the two villains. Jobbs sidles up beside Jester and wraps her arms around his waist, glaring at Phoenix with a creepy grin. Jester holds the chair one handed. COLE Somebody needs to come make this save before it gets ugly. COACH It already got ugly when Jester showed up, Cole. And now I gotta call Jobbs a bitch, too. That just makes it worse. Jester charges forward, taking a wild swing at Phoenix. Phoenix dodges, swings around and locks his arms around Jester's waist - GERMAN SUPLEX! The chair goes wild, SMACKING JOBBS in the FACE before clattering towards the corner! Phoenix rolls up and starts WAILING! A flurry of punches to Jester, but the clown gets his knees between them and pushes Phoenix up and over. The ref stirs, getting to all fours! Jester snags the chair and COMES UP SWINGING! BAM! It knocks Phoenix right over the top rope as he tumbles over and out. Jester has a mad gleam in his eye and he catapults over to continue the assault. Widow shakily pulls herself up against the ropes and takes it all in. She glares at Jobbs bitterly. Miss Jobbs cheers him on from the ring. The ref looks around, bewildered. Widow stomps over, JERKS JOBBS AROUND - BOOT TO THE GUT! Widow locks the arms and pulls Jobbs up into position for a - VERTEBREAKER! COLE Oh my god! Widow just dropped Miss Jobbs right on her head! Widow collapses on for the PIN! The match is still going in the ref's eyes. He slides in for the count! 1! 2! 3!!!!! The CROWD GOES CRAZY! Outside, Jester pauses his assault to look at the ring, confused. Then ANGRY as Jobbs rolls around, dazed. The ref raises Widow's hand as she kneels on one knee, barely able to get back up. She glares at Jester. He stands, forgetting about Phoenix, murder in his eyes, and claws up to the apron. He climbs in. The ref tries to get between Jester and Widow, but Jester grabs him by the throat and shoves him away. Jobbs starts pulling herself up - CHAIRSHOT! PHOENIX SWINGS FOR THE FENCES FROM THE OUTSIDE AND CONNECTS RIGHT WITH HER FACE! She tumbles back, screeching. Jester turns, sees her, looks back at Phoenix, who is SLIDING IN with the CHAIR! Jester peaces immediately. He grabs Jobbs by the hair and pulls her along as he slides out, then half-carries her up the ramp. COLE Jester and Miss Jobbs are connected somehow! COACH Phoenix saves the day. Widow was in a bad place, Cole. Widow and Phoenix glare from the ring, meeting a deadly stare from Jester and Jobbs as they retreat. COLE Anglepalooza is going to be one hell of a showdown, Coach! And what a debut for Widow! She still won! COACH By the lovely seat of her shorts, Cole, but she did it! Hopefully Phoenix can do the same at Anglepalooza! COLE We've got to go to commercial, fans, but we'll be right back! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) COLE Folks, we were supposed to witness a tapping of the Look Of Love here tonight, but obviously given the unfortunate events of earlier this evening, we won't be seeing anything of the sort here on HeldDOWN. We offer you our fans an apology. You can check OAOAST.com for information on how The Look of Love will proceed from here. Right now, Josh Matthews is trying to get a word with Krista. The scene is the arena parking garage, where a heavy hearted Krista Isadora Duncan drags her many suitcases towards her limo. Assisting her to her car is Jade Rodez, though Krista doesn't seem inclined to make a single bit of eye contact with her. Suddenly, Josh Matthews rushes onto the scene, with microphone in hand. JOSH Krista, Krista, is it true? Is what Theodore Moneymaker said true? KRISTA Yeah, its true. I fucked up. I fucked up worse then anyone you could ever meet. I fucked up more then anyone who's ever fucked something up in the long illustrious history of people who fuck things up. I'm so lost...I hate myself, so totally and completely lost because of what I've done to my children. Both of them. I've lied to people who have come to depend on me, trust me, and look to me as some kind of model, or inspiration for this lofty image of perfection. Most importantly, I lied to my daughter, and I promised her I never could. Outside what you see on me is flawless. And that's all anyone ever knew, the flawless outside, and I could've taken myself myself to the grave with that being all they would ever know. The bruises and scars I have are on the inside, and now they're visible. You can see the black and blue, Josh. Now, you can see blood. You can know that blood pumps through my veins because Moneymaker has spilled it all over the world. There are millions of children in this country, and nearly everyone of them is being taken care of by a loving parent...or an aunt, or a grandparent, or someone bonded to them with unbreakable link of blood. Someone who has stuck by them through things both gorgeous and terrifying. Everyone got that, except for my kid. They got me. They got ditched, dumped away with all the thought you give rotten milk. For what? Why? For no other reason then they had the miserable luck of being born to a shitbag painted over with a lifetime of lies and half truths. JADE (rubbing Krista's shoulders) You're being too hard on yourself, Krista. KRISTA Am I really? Tell that to my mother who had to live with the burning shame that all her country club friends knew her eldest daughter was a teenage whore, tell that to my daughter, who can cry herself to sleep tonight wondering what's going to happen if mommy, her lone pillar of support, suddenly decides she doesn't want her either, tell that to the bastard child, the one with...ya know what forget it. Just forget it. Why bother showing remorse or regret? I cry, and I'm sad, but I endanger nothing in myself. Its like the idea of crying when I do it. Or the idea of love. Its empty. JADE Krista, stop doing this to yourself! JOSH What about Theodore Moneymaker? Your thoughts on him. KRISTA (icily) Moneymaker? He's so full of steaming hot shit, you just mentioning him could draw the lord of the flies. I posses a very intense dislike for Mister Theodore Moneymaker. He is the human equivalent of fingering the pus out a pimple, of drinking the toilet water out a New York subway, of chewing off your foot and shoving it right up his wrinkled ass. He is a one dimensional insignificant dried out little turd, and I will personally flush him back into festering shithole he slithered out of aka his mother's vagina. Know that. But, I'm keeping my eye on where the most powerful enemy really is. I save the darkest of my hatred for who really counts. Alix Maria Spezia. She's got her bills to pay in the world to come, her and her little friend, the whore of Babylon. That chilling comment is the last we hear of Krista, as she slides into her limo, leaving Jade and Josh to look on in sadness. COMMERCIAL CORPORATE BATTLE ROYAL? Edited January 25, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) Our view is brought to the bustling backstage area. Moneymaker's show long victory parade now includes the occasional awkward fit of disco dancing, and a very ill advised twirl/point/wink triple threat, as he continues to journey through the arena backstage. With every step he earns the disgusted gaze of staff and wrestlers alike. Except for Logan Mann, who in black leather pants and a tight black fishnet long sleeve shirt, rushes to greet him with a warm smile. LOGAN What's going on, Richie Rich? How ya living? MONEYMAKER With the satisfaction that can only be had by slowly destroying the life your greatest enemy has worked so tirelessly to achieve. And you? How are you living? Or should I say how are you rocking? LOGAN As hard and as balls to the walls as ever. And I'll be rocking heavenly once you tell me what I want to hear. MONEYMAKER What might that be, Mister Logan? LOGAN That I am Krista Isadora Duncan's son. Start singing the truth! Rock me gently with that heavenly news, baby. Set me up, set me up for life. MONEYMAKER I'm sorry Mister Mann, but her destruction is a slow, and erotic waltz. To come forward with the bombshell to soon would be much worse then any type of premature...performance. LOGAN Moneymaker you gotta lend a helping hand to a struggling artist. I know the skin tone is much darker on me, but maybe she gave birth to me in the bottom of a coal mine or something off the wall like that. Man, just think about the elite club I'd join if she were my mom. I've already rocked the OAOAST to the extreme and beyond, but journey with me through thoughts and fantasies of what I could do in the rock portion of my rock n wrestling career, which has quite honestly been lagging as of late. I wouldn't have to ever pick up an instrument, and I'd still be a hall of fame rock superstar. Just by virtue of who my mom is. I started out as a lounge singer named Ebony Springsteen in Vegas and I'm finishing up on the cover of People magazine, JET, Ebony, National Geographic, TIME, Good Housekeeping, all arm and arm with ma mere extraordinare, Krista Isadora Duncan. Picture Logan Mann on top of the world. MONEYMAKER Logan Mann, I'll tell you this, you are in very good running to be her son. Smiling at the patronization, Logan nods Moneymaker a fond farewell. But just as soon as Logan steps out does his loving wife step in, oddly wearing the exact same outfit as her husband. Don't you just hate it when couples match. HOLLY-WOOD What about me? Am I the bastard baby she didn't want shit to do with? MONEYMAKER You certainly have her penchant for ladylike language. I don't believe your husband has ever properly introduced you.. HOLLY-WOOD Can it. Just answer the question. MONEYMAKER You certainly have her penchant for feminine politeness, as well. Are you Krista's kid? That's tough to say. HOLLY-WOOD My father sweeps the floors at a Panera bread in Saint Louis, my mother teaches community theater to elderly retards, and my brother lives in their basement smoking weed and drawing Erin Esurance porn for fun and profit. I'd like a step up in the family department, and to know that I'm genetically predisposed to huge success not horribly disappointing middle age failure. MONEYMAKER Tit for tat, I scratch your back, you scratch mine. I'll answer your question, if you answer mine. Your lovely red hair, I must know, does the carpet match the drapes? BWHAHAHAHAAH! SLAP MONEYMAKER Hmmmm. That slap. That resounding, awful painful slap. Yes, yes. So, so familiar. Why yes, Miss Holly-Wood, do keep your ears open for my final announcement in the weeks to come. You just may be the lucky daughter of Krista Isadora Duncan. HOLLY-WOOD Nice. That simple answer seems to be enough for Holly, and she takes a quick smirking leave. But, Moneymaker's visitors to his mini parade doesn't end with the Angle award winning couple; none other then his cousin Tony Brannigan walks onto the scene, minus the curiosity of Logan and Holly, and plus a huge helping of anger and annoyance. BRANNIGAN Yo, Theo. MONEYMAKER Dear cousin, what a treat it is! Come to beg forgiveness? A wise move, man, lord knows the skeletons I'd haul out your closet. Speaking of closets, isn't it past overdue for you to come out your's to my poor oblivious aunt? Oops, there's one skeleton! BWAHHHAHA! BRANNIGAN Hey, Theo, I may be a road agent and interviewer, but look me dead in the eye and know that I'm serious, when I say I'd throw that all away in a silly minute to beat you into the dirt. You've been crossing the line all night long. Don't make the mistake of crossing it in the presence of a world champion. Got it? Moneymaker is obviously more then a little intimidated by his much larger, older cousin and eases his tone. MONEYMAKER Fine, fine, what do you want? BRANNIGAN I want to give you some new, little cousin. Yeah, Anglesault, was gonna do it himself, but being that we're family and all, I had to be one to see you shit bricks when this bomb gets dropped on you. As long as I've known you, you've been a bully, pushing around anyone and everyone just 'cause you think you can. The reason you think you can is because you never felt any real repercussions for your B.S. Until now. I just came out the bosses office, and this stupid stunt that's got you strutting around here like you're somebody and not the runt who's head I used to dump in the toilet, has earned you double duty at Anglepalooza. Not double the paychecks, just double the work. Now, you're looking at getting tossed out on your ass in the Lethal Rumble, just a few minutes after that ass gets beat down by Krista Isadora Duncan. MONEYMAKER What? BRANNIGAN Did you hear me stutter? Brilliant plan, though, little cousin. Now you just need to plan on how your going to make it through the Rumble after taking the beating of a lifetime. I'd wish you luck, but personally, I'm hoping the next time I see you will be at the handicap accessible table at the family reunion. MONEYMAKER Boy, are you really something. Wow. What the hell do you morons think we're in? Vacation bible school? Do you know what this is? This is gastric juices churning, enzymes digesting, intestines working, blood and bile, this is real, raw, life. I'm playing the game of being alive. I'm not like everyone else here! What are they above that? Above being alive? What's above being alive? Clouds! Heaven! Death! Then they're dead! Dead! All of 'em! I still have life to live! I am not like you, cousin, I can't be retired so easily. I won't lay down for the slow, obscure death they want for me. The Enterprise was sick. Everyone knew we were weak. Zack Malibu, all of 'em, they could smell it. They wanted blood. So I gave them blood. Blood of their heroine and blood of my enemy. And believe me I can give more at Anglepalooza. Do not tempt me. Moneymaker offers Brannigan a long deep scowl before turning on his heel and retreating down the hallway. COLE Oh my! Krista Isadora Duncan against Theodore Moneymaker at Anglepalooza! That show gets better and better! And so does this one, stick around because we still have The Love Doctors against The Wrecking Crew in our final Anderson Cup contest! COMMERCIAL Edited January 25, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) OAOAST QuizDown is presented by Anglepalooza, this Sunday on PPV Before becoming a spokesperson for environmental concerns, Biff was the off kilter nutrition guru who boasted this peculiar fetish: A.Hair fetish B.Crushing fetish C.Spandex fetish D.Stuffed animal fetish The Answer A: Hair fetish Ponder that oddity while we return to sofa central COLE Ladies and gentlemen, January is always a big month in the OAOAST, as it marks the pursuit of championship gold. We've got the Anderson Cup, the most highly competitive tournament in sports today, where sixteen tag teams duke it out for the right to go to Anglemania and compete for the coveted one and only world tag team titles. And we also have the historic Lethal Rumble, which will be taking place this Sunday at Anglepalooza. Maggie Nerdly is standing by to fill you on our pay per view extravaganza. The OAOAST ActionZone is home to the cutest interviewer on the planet, Maggie Nerdly. The eighteen year old, bucks stuffy journalistic traditions, and actually sits atop the main news desk, while scenes from Lethal Rumbles past play on the many video screens on the set. MAGGIE What's up ya'll girl on the scene, Maggie Nerdly chillin' at the OAOAST ActionZone. I gotta remind you to be sure to order Anglepalooza this Sunday, either on webcast or on that p-p-view. If you're in the Atlanta area and you don't have tickets, then you better come and party with me at the mobile ActionZone outside the Phillips Arena. Then make sure you stick around for the Afterparty, where the Lethal Rumble winner is gonna be holding it down. For a little sneak peak at what we got going down on Sunday, check out this cool little bit our dudes at the Coca-Cola helped us put together. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fade in to a beautiful, crisp Winter's morning. Members of the OAOAST roster are making the trek up a small hill, chatting amongst themselves as they walk towards a group of what can be best described as hippies sat in a circle. The peacenicks stand and greet the confused OAOAST wrestlers with handshakes and invite them into the group. Pretty soon they're all being pulled into holding hands in a big circle. Melody Nerdly happily joins hands with the hippies. The Mad Cappa and Todd Cortez look mightily confused as they realise they're next to each other in the circle. One hippie nervously tries to convince Thunderkid to join hands with him. HIPPIE Okay everyone! "I'd like to build the world a home" All the hippies start to sing in unison. All the OAOAST wrestlers, unsurprisingly, do not. "And furnish it with love" Alfdogg and Landon share a "WTF" look with each other. Cuban Wall looks like he's seconds away from killing someone. "Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow-white turtle doves Both member of Team Heyross look incredibly awkward, wondering whether they should be getting out of here as soon as possible or just trying to blend in and hope the pain ends soon. "I'd like to teach the world to sing" The hippies with instruments in the middle of the circle really start to get into it now. The OAOASTers continue to wonder what the hell is going on. PRL raises his eyebrow in cheesy fashion. "In perfect harmony" Suddenly, Colombian Heat starts to look nervous as he hears some heathy breathing from just down the human chain, starting to warn the hippies they might want to stop... "I'd like to hold it in my arms and kee..." FAQU BLLLLLAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! *SMACK!* Down goes the tambourine playing hippie from a thrust kick! For a moment, there's stunned silence. Before then, everybody suddenly launches into the middle of the hippie circle and all hell breaks loose! Punches start flying, bodies start flying, only Alix Maria Spezia staying in the chain of hippies, singing away to her heart's content, oblivious to the fact everyone else has stopped. (V.O) The OAOAST presents, the 7th annual ANGLEPALOOZA ~LIVE! on PPV~ Sunday, 27th January 2008 Atlanta, Georgia As the fighting continues on, Krista Isadora Duncan walks in front of the camera, picking up a bottle of beer and swigging from it. KRISTA Aaahh... can't beat the real thing. Krista wheels around and smashes the bottle over one of Los Conquistadors' head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AAAAAAAND back to Miss Margret. MAGGIE Got a nice little hemp necklace out of all that to! So, you definitely need to be ordering Anglepalooza this Sunday, because it officially kicks off the road to Anglemania! There's the lethal rumble of course, all kinds of bad cats in there, um, Reject, Zack Malibu, Moneymaker, PRL, Alfdogg, Landon Maddix, Bohemoth, Lunar Phoenix, plus my older bro MARV. And while we're talkin about MARV, ladies of America, NO, I won't give your phone number to him or MEL, so ya'll quit asking me. Damn! Um, what else do we got? Krista's going to be setting her sights on making sure Theodore Moneymaker isn't even alive to compete in the Lethal Rumble. That should be a good one, made even if better if she's actually my mom, no offense Mama Nerdly, but fame before fam. The returning James Cone will throw down with the Mysterious Jester. Very creepy. My sis, Melody leads her boys against the rough and tumble team Faqu and Blonde. Go Mel! And last but definitely not least, we're going to be unifying world titles! That's right, ya'll, Colombian Heat matches up with Felix Strutter, and Stephen Joseph Popick, to go back to those crazy days were we only had one world champion. Ah, two months ago. So, mos.def check us out, on the web, on your t-vision, or at the mobile ActionZone if you rep the ATL. This show is gonna be off the meat rack so make sure you watch. If you're lookin' for more 411 on Anglepalooza, OAOAST.com's got ya covered, or you can tune into Syndicated. BIGGER THAN KRISTA'S TITS The 30 men over the top rope Lethal Rumble! Sunday night, January 27 live on pay-per-view. Order now! COLE Coach, we're moments away from the final first round bout of the 2008 Anderson Cup. Any last minute predictions? COACH Like I said at the top of the show, whichever team is "on" is getting the victory. That's just how it works with these two teams You know what you're getting, and what you're getting is that you never know what you're getting! COLE The Love Doctors versus former HI-YAH tag team champions The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew! Jesse and Tony will be right here to call the action. Stay tuned! COMING UP NEXT ANDERSON CUP ACTION MGHWC VS THE LOVE DOCTORS NEXT SCHIAVONE The Anderson Cup 2008 continues on in mere moments, as The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and The Love Doctors bring a close to the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference. So far, all three matches have gone to seeding, but will this one? Tony Schiavone alongside Jesse Ventura as always... Jesse, a tough one to call tonight. VENTURA Every match with you is a tough one to call, Schiavone! Ha ha! SCHIAVONE Indeed. It was one year ago, Rico and Lucius burst onto the scene in the tag team division by defeating the then Anderson Cup champions The Heavenly Rockers at this same stage. An impressive half-year there after saw them earn a number three seeding in this year's competition. But the past few months have been rough times for The Homewrecking Crew, ever since August and their involvement in the Scramble Cage, Tag Team Title Unification Match. Losing that match as HI-YAH Tag Champions, then failing to defeat Chicks Over Dicks for the OAOAST unified Titles have been major setbacks in their career and many are predicting last year's biggest scalp takers are going to be the big scalp taken this time around. VENTURA No doubt Tony, a potential upset in the offering. The Love Doctors are a dangerous team, in that a lack of consistency has ended up with them getting a low seeding, but on their day they're capable of defeating any team in the OAOAST. SCHIAVONE Former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions for over a year. VENTURA Well, that was a few years ago now, but sure, why not. SCHIAVONE .... Lets go to the ring! Right on cue, out swagger the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as the melodic sounds of "Easy Lover" begin to play. Rico confidently strokes his porn 'stache with a knowing nod of the head, as Lucius appears from behind him and yells out at the crowd. Clearly amped up, Lucius tries to instill the same passion into his swathe partner on their way to the ring. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" BUFFER This contest is a Quarter Final Match in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference of the 2008 Anderson Cup and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing, team number one. Total combined weight, four hundred and thirteen pounds... they are the number three seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... together, they are THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMEEWRECKING CCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWii!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" As Lucius jumps into the ring, Rico turns his attentions to a female fan in the audience and shows off his pecs in all their hairy, baby oil covered glory. His blown kiss is rejected by the fan as Lucius pulls him into the ring and tries to get his partner's head in the game. *WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!* "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" Rico settles down now as new objects of affection for the females arrive. The Love Doctors bounce onto the stage looking like they've just finished their shift for the night, until the white coats are seductively pulled off and thrown to the side. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. Hailing out of Windy City Hospital in Chicago, Illinois... at a total combined weight of four hundred and thirty six pounds. The number six seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. MAX PIGLEY... THE LLLOOOOOOOOOVVEEEEEE DDOOOOOOOOOCCTTOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The clean-cut docs get the Calgary crowd in their corner while Rico and Lucius watch on, unimpressed. VENTURA No surprise these people love the Docs. Health care is free up here, after all. SCHIAVONE The Love Doctors are loved worldwide. VENTURA Yeah, by women. And word on the street is that's only down to Windy City Hopsital's special 'discounts'. SCHIAVONE Unsubstanciated rumours. *DINGDINGDING!* Dr. Anderson starts the match out with "Sweet" Lucius Soul. A very determined looking Lucius Soul. The two men square up and words are exchanged, mainly from the fast talking Lucius, who tries to put an exclamation point on his words with a slap. Anderson ducks... and ducks a backhand slap... before catching an attempted boot! Left hopping on one foot, Lucius is much less arguementative now and pleads for forgiveness. Dr. Anderson smirks at the idea and instead spins Lucius around by the leg. He then throws a clothesline... but in mid-spin, Lucius suddenly drops and does the splits and avoids the clothesline! VENTURA Woah! That's a new one on me! Pushing out of the splits, Lucius mouths off to Dr. Pigley while Anderson gets over his surprise and catching Rico coming into the ring with a hiptoss! Lucius sees his partner flying past him and understandably turns around to see what happened, walking into a hiptoss of his own! Out of the ring scramble both Mardi Gras'ers, as Dr. Anderson fires up the crowd. LUCIUS Fuck dat shit! SCHIAVONE Uh, Lucius... a little frustrated. VENTURA Good cover. Lucius and Rico meet up on the floor and try to regroup, but suddenly see Dr. Pigley diving towards them and take cover. However Pigley fakes out and dives down next to the bottom rope... ...and when Rico and Lucius look up, it's Dr. Anderson diving at them, BARRELING THROUGH THEM WITH A TOPÉ CON HILO!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Dr. Anderson becoming the flying doctor on that one! VENTURA And The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew have gotta get it together and fast! Once he's slapped a few hands, Dr. Anderson throws Lucius back into the ring for his partner. However, referee Mike Chioda is alert to who the legal man is and isn't, not allowing Pigley to stay in the ring. As he tries to get Pigley out, Anderson tries to get back in. But with the referee busy, it allows Rico to reach up and pull Anderson off the apron, causing him to faceplant into the ringside mats with a splat!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Rico quickly climbs back to the apron and acts innocent, while Anderson lays flat out on the floor. SCHIAVONE That helping hand from the floor went undetected by the referee and all of a sudden Anderson is in a bad way. Can The Love Doctors turn this match back around? We'll find out when we come back! *COMMERCIAL* Back from the break and, sure enough, we rejoin the match with Dr. Anderson in the clutches of a rear chinlock courtesy of Rico de Janeiro. Dr. Pigley tries to get the crowd behind his partner as Rico wrenches away. VENTURA Rico's done a good job of shutting the Doc down during the break Schiavone. It's a methodical style that Rico favours but it's effective. Only 225, but he knows how to use his power to his advantage. Getting a sudden surge of energy, Dr. Anderson sits up and starts to max a move to his feet. Rico again shuts him down though, releasing the hold and clubbing him in the back. Another clubbing blow lands, followed with a double axehandle. Rico then hooks Anderson up, gutwrenching him and flipping him into a suplex! Leg hooked... 1... 2... No! Rico goes right back to the chinlock though, getting a nod of approval from his partner. SCHIAVONE Dr. Anderson simply hasn't recovered from that face-first meeting with the concrete before we went to commercial. But Rico and Lucius really haven't pressed home their advantage like I thought they would. VENTURA No, but they're dictacting the pace. Their pace. Rico strokes his 'stache while continuing to clamp away on the hold. Again Anderson draws from the fans' support and starts to get to his feet, Rico quickly adjusting into a front facelock as he does so. To the breadbasket goes Dr. Anderson though, landing right hands to the doughy physique of the Brazilian before lifting him up. He's forced to drop him after just a couple of steps due to the continuing choke, but he's closer to his corner now and in sight of a tag. Sensing this, Lucius jumps into the ring and rushes at Dr. Pigley, landing a forearm that draws him into the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The referee holds Pigley back, while Lucius picks up Anderson's legs and together The MGHWC walk him back towards their corner, facelock still applied. VENTURA Soul with a valuable helping hand, good tag team work, like it or not. Rico clamps back down on the facelock as Lucius takes the tag rope, waiting for his opportunity to legally come in. Up top he goes, dropping across Anderson's exposed back with a flying stomp. Lucius then executes a snap suplex and covers... 1... ...kickout! Big standing knee drop by Lucius and another cover... 1... 2... No! Quick tag is made again, Lucius holding Anderson's arms back for a stomp to the chest by Rico. Another boot slams into the chest, before Rico again clamps on a facelock. VENTURA Much as I hate to agree with you Schiavone, sooner or later either Rico or Lucius has gotta assume control and put Anderson away while they have the advantage. At the moment it's a little too tentative. SCHIAVONE And why might that be? VENTURA Well, it could be confidence. They might just be biding their time though. Who knows? As Anderson fights against the facelock, Rico lets him go and sends him off into the ropes. A simple fist buried into the gut doubles the Doctor over, setting him up for a back suplex. But Rico over shoots and Anderson lands on his feet. A shove in the back sends Rico off the ropes, the Brazilian throwing a clothesline on his way back but missing the mark, Max ducking the line and timing his Spinning Back Fist perfectly to crack Rico up under the jaWii VENTURA They might have bided too long Tony! SCHIAVONE They may very well... because THERE is the tag to the fresh Dr. Pigley! The fans get a renewed sense of hope as Dr. Pigley springs up to the top rope and takes out Rico with a Missile Dropkick! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The Doc jumps up and hands Lucius a reciept, not for something to ease his pain but a forearm that causes it, sending him to the floor and leaving him with just Rico to concentrate on. Ducking a clothesline, Pigley comes back off the ropes and takes a brief trip around the world before coming out of it with a headscissors takeover. Wobbly, Rico then walks into a standing dropkick, sending him tumbling out through the ropes and to the floor. Up off their feet come the crowd, as Dr. Pigley hits the ropes one more time, getting full run-up on a dive... ...that is about to get cut off, as Lucius Soul slides back into the ring and launches forward with the POOOOOOOOUUUUUU... ...NO! Pigley dodges! Barely keeping his feet, Lucius stumbles on into Dr. Anderson, who backdrops him up and over the top rope out by the rampway! With a quick look to each other, The Love Doctors then bring the crowd off their seats again, as they take off in unison, DR. ANDERSON WITH A PLANCHA, DR. PIGLEY WITH A TOPÉ, DOWN GO BOTH MARDI GRAS'ERS!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA And the pace has picked up in a BIG way for The Love Doctors! SCHIAVONE Are Lucius and Rico going to live to regret not putting Anderson away when they had the chance? Thrown back inside, Lucius and Rico back away into opposite corners, followed by Pigley and Anderson respectively... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" Ten punches a-piece in the corner leave Rico and Lucius on unsteady legs. Pigley and Anderson set them up for a double irish whip, Pigley getting his half but Rico able to reverse on Dr. Anderson. Thinking quickly though, Max throws a LARIAT that wipes out the oncoming Soul! Diving over the bodies, Dr. Pigley body blocks Rico back into the corner, unloading with some more right hands while he waits for his partner to dispose of Lucius. SCHIAVONE And unlike their opponents, it looks like the Love Doctors are going straight for the kill! VENTURA No wonder they're never at the hospital. A double irish whip sends Rico off the ropes, Pigley dropping him with an inverted atomic drop on the way back and holding him in place for the dropkick from Anderson! SCHIAVONE Lovematic Grampa, signature Love Doctors! As Max, the illegal man, rolls out of the ring, Steven bridges over Rico with the pin attempt... 1... 2... NO! Tag made, allowing the Love Doctors five more seconds to execute a double team. Pigley scoops Rico back up and hovers him over the canvas this time, while Dr. Anderson warms up the Defibrilattor!! Cover by Anderson, Pigley leaving the ring... 1... 2... SAVE BY LUCIUS! Dr. Pigley tries to get straight back into the ring to aid his partner, but a Bicycle Kick knocks him off the apron to the outside. VENTURA Looks like Lucius has had enough! As Lucius turns around however, Dr. Anderson is waiting for him... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And a third. Irish whi... no, reversed! Lucius spins out in front of Anderson and sends the Doctor across the ring, into what would be the Mardi Gras corner, where both men not in the ring. Following in after Anderson, Lucius lunges forward looking for a Yakuza Kick in the corner... but Anderson moves and Soul CROTCHES himself on the top ring rope!! LUCIUS "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" By the standing leg, Anderson dumps Lucius the rest of the way up and over the top, before turning his attentions back to Rico and aiming for his head with the Lariat. Rico catches him though, spinning him into a gutwrench and throwing him up and over the shoulder... ...but Dr. Anderson escapes the sure to be unpleasant Moustache Ride and pulls de Janeiro down with a Backslide... SCHIAVONE Could have him! 1... 2... NO, Rico kicks out and quickly pulls Dr. Anderson back into a standing headscissors. SCHIAVONE Oh, Rico almost got caught. VENTURA But he's got him Tony, he's got him! A stroke down of the porn 'stache, then Rico hoists Dr. Anderson up again for the Moustache Ride. Dr. Anderson again tries to struggle free of the impact... and again manages it! Spinning Rico around, Anderson cracks him with a couple of elbow strikes. A slap from the left side cracks Rico and echoes around the arena, even as Anderson lands two more rapid fire open-handers... *SMACK!* ...and an Enziguri! Rico collapses in a heap, seemingly out of it. VENTURA Big succession of strikes right there! Great combination by Anderson. But he's not going for a cover? Anderson isn't done though, as he turns Rico over and drags him into position near the turnbuckles. The Doc heads up top, while on the outside Dr. Pigley cuts off Lucius from making a save. The two illegal men scrap on the floor, leaving Anderson clear to position himself up top. Getting his feet, Dr. Anderson tumbles down towards Rico with his 450 Splash... WHO GETS THE KNEES UP!! VENTURA Aww... big mistake by Anderson! Pulling himself off of Rico, the winded Dr. Anderson staggers away holding his ribs. Rico pulls himself up in the corner. And as Anderson slowly turns around, Rico scythes him down with a clothesline and cradles him up tight... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* VENTURA Got him! Boy, they escaped with that one Tony! As Dr. Pigley jumps in for the save seconds too late, Lucius rushes around the ring and grabs Rico around the shoulders. The relieved Rico barely celebrates, unlike his partner, while in the ring Dr. Anderson sits up and slams the mat in frustration. BUFFER Your winners of the match, advancing on in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... THE MARDI GRAS HHOOOOOOOMEWRECKING CCRRRREEEWWWWWWii! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius pumps his fists in celebration as he and Rico escape off with their victory to general disapproval from all in the arena. SCHIAVONE An opportunistic victory, you have to say, for the number three seeds. VENTURA It's like the saying goes, 'it only takes three seconds'. The clothesline, after the meeting with the knees lets not forget, enough with that tight pin to put down Dr. Anderson for those crucial three seconds. Call it opportunistic, call it what you want, but that could be a big victory in the careers of Rico and Lucius. Their streak of bad luck is over. They won ugly, sure, but all that matters is they won. SCHIAVONE And they advance to the Conference Semi Finals, which begin on this very show next week. Their 'reward' for victory Jesse? A meeting with The Sooner Bruisers! VENTURA There's no easy opponent at this stage of the competition, but that is a stinker for Mardi Gras. They better hope tonight was a turning point. They're gonna need all the momentum they can gather going up against The Sooners, I can guarantee you that! SCHIAVONE As we said, the Conference Semi Finals to be held over the weeks of January 31st and February 7th. We'll be here Jesse, it's shaping up to be quite a tournament. Anderson Cup Second Round January 31, HeldDOWN~!: The Enterprise vs. D*LUX , Christ Air Express vs. Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara February 7, HeldDOWN~!: Sooner Bruisers vs. Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, Team Heyross vs. The Heavenly Rockers VENTURA It's a 'pick 'em' in my book. Anyone's for the taking. SCHIAVONE And we look forward to next week, but we're not done on HeldDOWN~! tonight. Don't go anywhere, more action coming up! Right after these messages, the Corporate Lethal Rumble Match for the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! Don't go away! FADE OUT * COMMERCIAL BREAK * Edited January 25, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2008 (edited) "THE C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CORP-CORPORA-CORPORATION" The crowd immediately stands up and starts booing as the opening to "No Chance In Hell" plays over the P.A. system. The AngleTron lights up with a picture of The Bone Thug posing in front of a gray background that has the words "THE BONE THUG" written on the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters, and a Puerto Rican flag underneath that. Finally, the crescendo hits, and a huge burst of pyro hits the entrance as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. *No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah.) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy politicians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)* The entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke comes The Bone Thug along with Stephen Joseph Popick, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. The crowd boos even louder since the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST is accompanying The Bone Thug. COLE Well, here we go. Time for our main event here on HeldDOWN~! tonight! Bone Thug is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth, and a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head, so the only thing that you see is his eyes. Bone Thug walks down the entrance ramp with Stephen Joseph giving him words of encouragement. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the Corporate Lethal Rumble Match, with the winner to receive the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! Introducing first, entrant #1, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion Stephen Joseph Popick. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 232 lbs. Representing the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. He...is...THE BONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! The Bone Thug continues his walk to the ring as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. COLE A first for HeldDOWN~!, a CORPORATE Lethal Rumble. Superstars from the SJPC along with other OAOAST Superstars already in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday will battle it out for the #29 spot in the actual Lethal Rumble Match! COACH And it wouldn't surprise me if a member of the Corporation won the whole thing! COLE Are you talking about the Corporate Lethal Rumble or the actual Lethal Rumble? COACH Both. COLE Oh. The Bone Thug stops near the ring. He looks at Stephen Joseph Popick and nods his head. Bone Thug climbs the ring steps and then enters the ring. Thug walks around the ring, raising his hands in the air to boos. Bone Thug pulls down the Puerto Rican flag bandana over his mouth, revealing the rest of his face. Popick applauds Bone Thug from the outside. COLE And I'm sure that Stephen Joseph Popick would love for one of his men to win this match as well as the Lethal Rumble on Sunday! COACH Obviously, Mikey Cole! It would be an honor for Popick to defend the World Heavyweight Championship against one of his men from the SJPC at the biggest event of the year, AngleMania VII. A HUGE honor. COLE Well first off, Popick would have to win his Triple Threat Match against "After Hours" Felix Strutter and Colombian Heat for the Undisputed OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday! Not to mention either Cuban Wall, Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, or Spanish Fly would have to outlast 29 other men to win the Lethal Rumble Match also this Sunday! COACH Popick's a shoe-in to win his match, and with five of the greatest superstars in the world today in the Lethal Rumble, a member of the Corporation is SURELY going to be the victor! I mean, who do you think will win? Tha Puerto Rican? With the #1 spot AND a #1 million bounty on his head? HA! HA! COLE Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Coach. The Lethal Rumble Match is unpredictable. Anything can happen in that one match! And it’s only a few more days away! This Sunday night, the Road To AngleMania VII begins, but before then, we will find out who will be the 29th man to enter the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! The Bone Thug says something in Spanish to Popick. He then says something in Spanish, possibly derogatory, to the crowd, and then to the camera. COLE It is going to be one hell of a preview to the Lethal Rumble Match! Fasten your seatbelts, the CORPORATE Lethal Rumble is just a heartbeat away! We'll be right back right after these messages! Stay tuned! The Bone Thug jumps up and down in place. He takes a deep breath and then exhales through his mouth. He does this several times. This is the last image we see before we take a commercial break. *FADE OUT* Commercials STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Let's do this thing! COLE Back on HeldDOWN~!, and fans, you heard him. Stephen Joseph Popick is joining us here on commentary for this match-up. POPICK That's right, the CORPORATE Lethal Rumble! A match *I* made up, thank you very much! Only from the mind of Stephen Joseph Popick could a match of this caliber be devised! COACH You tell 'im, Popick! POPICK Thank you, Coach. Pleasure to be here with you. COACH Believe me, it is an honor to have you sitting here with us here in Sofa Central! POPICK It's the least I can do for one of my biggest fans! COLE I think he's the only fan that you got in this arena! POPICK Quiet, you! Shut up and enjoy the match! Stephen Joseph Popick sits next to Michael Cole and watches the match intently. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lies on top of the announce table. POPICK This is going to be a good one! Let's just see who will be #29 this Sunday in the Lethal Rumble! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. The Bone Thug looks to the entrance. COLE 4 other superstars already in the Lethal Rumble Match will compete in this match-up for the #29 spot. They were drawn at random. Let’s find out who the first of those 4 superstars are! "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 starts playing, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. The entrance doors slide open, and "Showtime" Shayne Brave comes out to loud cheers, especially from the females in attendance. Brave is all by himself, but still does the usual D*LUX entrance, striking a pose and then walking down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way, his OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship belt strapped around his waist. BUFFER Entrant #2. Coming to the ring at this time. From Detroit, Michigan. Weighing in at 183 lbs. He is one-third of the One And Only AngleSault Thread Tag Team Champions of the woooorrrrrlllllllldddddddddddddddddddd! "SHOWTIME" SHAYNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE! COLE "Showtime" Shayne Brave! One-half of D*LUX, and one-third of The Love Generation, but he has yet to make an impact as a singles superstar. Imagine the boost his career would have if he wins the #29 spot tonight and goes on to win the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday? POPICK It would be a HUGE boost! And I have no qualms about defending the World Title against him at AngleMania VII. It would most def be a classic match! COACH You have no qualms about whoever wins the Lethal Rumble this Sunday, do you? POPICK No, Coach. Whoever wins doesn't matter to me. Whether it is a member of my Corporation or another OAOAST Superstar, they are in for the fight of their life come AngleMania VII! COLE What if Tha Puerto Rican wins the Lethal Rumble on Sunday? POPICK Oh Cole, poor naïve Cole, Tha Puerto Rican has NO CHANCE IN HELL of winning the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday, so I'm not even going to worry about him! COLE Careful, Popick. Don’t get too cocky. POPICK Excuse me, who's the World Champion? Me or you? Thought so. Now shut up! COACH Yeah, shut up Michael Cole! POPICK Thanks for the backup, Coach. COACH Anytime, Champ! Shayne Brave continues walking down the entrance ramp. He slaps the hands of the fans around ringside. The Bone Thug just stares at Shayne, waiting for him to enter the ring. COLE So, we're set to start the Corporate Lethal Rumble with The Bone Thug vs. "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Rules are the same as the regular Lethal Rumble you'll see this Sunday at Anglepalooza. You're eliminated when you go OVER the top rope and BOTH FEET touch the floor! Entrants come in at equally timed intervals. POPICK This should be barnburner as you say. COLE I never say that. POPICK Yes you do. COLE Since when? POPICK Since now, damnit! Shayne Brave enters the ring--The Bone Thug attacks Shayne before he even puts his feet on the mat! A few punches later, and Shayne Brave is taken to the outside! COLE The Bone Thug starting the match early! POPICK That’s how we do it in the Corporation! Strike first! No mercy! The bell rings. "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 dies down. *DING DING DING* CORPORATE LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH The Bone Thug rushes towards the ropes and FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO SHAYNE BRAVE WITH A TOPE CON HILO~! POPICK That's it! That's it! COLE The Bone Thug flying over the top rope, taking out Shayne Brave before he enters the ring! COACH Dang, Bone Thug went flying! The Bone Thug gets on top of Shayne Brave and hammers away at him! Referee Mickey Jay tells Bone Thug to get off of Shayne Brave. But The Bone Thug gets up and starts stomping on Brave. COLE I think The Bone Thug just eliminated himself from the match! COACH What!? Already! POPICK He’s eliminated? Damn it! COLE I thought you said it doesn’t matter to you who wins? POPICK It doesn't, I just hoped it would have been a Corporation member too! I'm pulling for my men of course! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: The Bone Thug Time in ring: 0:06 eliminated: none eliminated by: N/A Left in ring: N/A ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Bone Thug picks Shayne Brave up and slams his face on top of the ring steps! COLE The Bone Thug doesn’t care that he eliminated himself, he just wants to hurt somebody! POPICK That’s how The Bone Thug works! He has no respect for ANYBODY except for myself and the SJPC! All of his opponents are his mortal enemies in his eyes! COLE I can see why he chose to stay with you rather than stick with his cousin, Tha Puerto Rican! POPICK Don't pull that bull with me, Cole! You and I both know how much of an ass PRL was since he debuted in the OAOAST! Just because he's not with me, all of a sudden he's a hero to you! Puh-leeze! Give me a break, Michael! The Bone Thug throws Shayne Brave headfirst into a ring post! He then starts stomping on him while more referees come out to try and restrain him! But Bone Thug grabs Shayne by his hair and slams his face on top of another set of ring steps! Thug picks Brave up and punches him in the face several times, before grabbing him and taking him over to Sofa Central where he proceeds to slam Brave's head on top of the announce table! COLE Shayne Brave being manhandled by a guy he's had no interaction with whatsoever in the OAOAST! POPICK The Bone Thug doesn't particularly HATE Shayne Brave, he just likes doing an ass whooping! And he's doing one right now! COLE Why don't you stop him!? POPICK Why? I am enjoying this! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! POPICK ARRIBA LA RAZA~! to you too, Bone Thug! ARRIBA LA RAZA~! to you! The Bone Thug stomps on Shayne Brave on the outside! He unstraps the OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship belt from Shayne's waist, and then stomps on Brave's back some more! Referees Mickey Jay and Mike Chioda are still trying to get Bone Thug to go back to the dressing room. The Bone Thug slams Shayne's head on top of a barricade. COLE Bone Thug has been eliminated. Shayne Brave not eliminated because he never officially entered the ring! A rookie mistake cost Bone Thug the #29 position in the Lethal Rumble Match! And it seems like the referees have finally managed to get Bone Thug to listen to them! POPICK He refuses to speak English, but he understands them perfectly! COLE He better. I don’t think any of our referees are bilingual. COACH They're bi a lot of things-- COLE Stop it. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! COLE Who is the 3rd entrant? 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts up. The entrance doors slide open, and Spanish Fly runs down the entrance ramp into the ring. The Bone Thug has entered the ring and is attacking Shayne Brave! COLE Spanish Fly the next entrant into the Corporate Lethal Rumble, but The Bone Thug is still in the ring! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Spanish Fly quickly goes on the attack, stomping on the weakened Shayne Brave! COLE Oh this is fair. Bone Thug and Spanish Fly! And The Bone Thug isn’t even supposed to be out here! POPICK Corporate unity! I love it! COLE Popick, one of your men eliminated himself! He's not supposed to be in the ring! COACH So? POPICK Yeah, so? I am enjoying this ass kicking being given to one Shayne Brave! Even I didn’t kick his ass this bad when I beat him and his life partner for the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles a few years ago! COLE That was certainly a crowning moment in your career! POPICK Oh hush up, you! Spanish Fly takes Shayne Brave over to a turnbuckle corner and proceeds to attack him with martial arts kicks all over his body. He finishes it off with a jumping back kick to the jaw! This causes Shayne Brave to slump down onto the mat, with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. COLE Well, The Bone Thug has finally left the ring. Thank God. Spanish Fly smiles evilly. The crowd boos loudly. Fly jogs on over to the opposite turnbuckle corner. COLE And now this! POPICK That's it! That's it! Spanish Fly does the low-rider hand gesture, and then charges forward…giving "Showtime" Shayne Brave a Broncobuster to LOUD boos! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Shayne Brave! Spanish Fly stealing a move from Colombian Heat's playbook! POPICK Oh yeah! That was great! He did the Broncobuster better than Colombian Heat EVER did! HA! HA! HA! Spanish Fly gets off of Shayne Brave and does a SHIMMY~! to further mock Colombian Heat. POPICK HA! HA! I love it! COLE Spanish Fly mocking his former best friend and one of YOUR opponents this Sunday night at Anglepalooza in the Triple Threat Match! POPICK Believe me, Heat is going to get more than a Broncobuster at Anglepalooza, I'll tell you that much! Felix Strutter too! He wants some, he'll more than get some this Sunday night! Spanish Fly pulls Shayne Brave from the turnbuckle and picks him up. He starts punching on the groggy member of D*LUX as the crowd boos. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLE The fans are rallying for someone not even in this match! COACH Spanish Fly has ALWAYS been better than Colombian Heat! Always! COLE I seem to recall Colombian Heat winning the Ladder Match at November Reign not Spanish Fly! POPICK Spanish Fly was holding back! He wasn’t being his true self! This is the REAL Spanish Fly in action! The CORPORATE Spanish Fly! And the next time he meets Colombian Heat in the ring, he will show Heat he is the better man once and for all! COLE I thought Spanish Fly had more integrity, more morals than that. But I guess everyone has a price, including Spanish Fly! POPICK He finally realized where he belonged. With us. Here in the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. That’s all. Spanish Fly picks up Shayne Brave and beats him up some more. After telling the crowd to "SHUT UP!" He gives Shayne an Irish Whip into the ropes. Fly goes for a spinning heel kick--Shayne ducks--bounces off of the ropes--and hits Fly with a flying clothesline! COLE Flying clothesline from Shayne Brave, who looks worst for wear now! POPICK Oh come on Fly! Don’t let that boyband wuss get the best of you! Come on! Make me proud! Spanish Fly is shaken from the flying clothesline, but he soon gets back onto his feet. He kicks Shayne Brave just as he’s getting up, and then starts stomping on him. Fly then chokes Shayne with his right foot! COLE Underhanded tactics from the Corporate Sellout, but there are no rules in a Lethal Rumble Match! The only rule is that you are eliminated when both feet touch the floor! And the winner of this match gets the #29 spot in the real Lethal Rumble Match coming up this Sunday at Anglepalooza! POPICK This Sunday is truly going to be the greatest night of my and my Corporation's career. I will become the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion. One of my men will win the Lethal Rumble Match. And I am going to be in my hometown too! COLE That's right, Anglepalooza is going to be held in Atlanta, Georgia this year. POPICK That's right. HOTLANTA, GA! My home sweet home! In front of my family and friends, I shall have the greatest night of my entire life! I cannot wait! Spanish Fly picks Shayne Brave up and tries dumping him over the top rope and onto the floor! COACH Look at this! Look at this! Suddenly, the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing again. The entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall runs down the entrance ramp and enters the ring over the top ring rope. COLE Another Corporation member, Cuban Wall! POPICK 2 Corporation members against one unlucky SOB! Awesome. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Spanish Fly is hammering away at Shayne Brave in a corner, so Cuban Wall comes in and takes over with his Soupbones all over "Showtime" Shayne's body. COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation is in control of a member of D*LUX! But it is going to be every man for himself this Sunday! POPICK True, but I've spoken to my Corporation, and their mission is clear for this Sunday: win the Lethal Rumble and make sure that Tha Puerto Rican does NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT even come close to the end! COLE A $1 million bounty on the head of Tha Puerto Rican. And that's not just for the Corporation, but that's for everyone in the Lethal Rumble Match, right? POPICK Absolutely. It doesn't matter who it is. Does NOT matter. Whoever eliminates PRL gets $1 million in cash right after the pay-per-view is over! I will personally deliver the cash myself too! COACH Oh Popick, you are such a humanitarian! POPICK Thank you Coach. I appreciate the compliment! COLE Oh brother. COACH He's like my brother from another mother! COLE Ugh. Cuban Wall chokes Shayne Brave with his right foot. He calls Spanish Fly over. Wall whips Shayne right into Spanish Fly, who hits Shayne with a spinning heel kick! COLE Spanish Fly and Cuban Wall, members of the SJPC, dismantling Shayne Brave! POPICK Excellent CORPORATE work! I approve! HA! HA! HA! COLE Well usually it's every man for himself in this type of match-up, but it looks like the SJPC is going to stick together! Spanish Fly picks Shayne Brave up. He holds him up for Cuban Wall, who rushes forward and NAILS Shayne Brave with a Big Boot! Wall does the Corporate Salute to boos! POPICK The Corporate Salute! Not The Lightning Crew Salute! Uh-uh! No more! That's the CORPORATE Salute right now! Cuban Wall laughs manically. Spanish Fly picks Shayne Brave up and tries to dump him over the top rope! Cuban Wall helps out, and the two SJPC members do all they can to eliminate "Showtime" Shayne. POPICK That's it! Dump him! Dump him! Dump him! COACH We could have another elimination! POPICK I love it! Right here in front of us! Eliminate him! Eliminate him! Suddenly, the timer appears on screen. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "Success" by Jay-Z begins playing. The crowd boos as the entrance doors slide open, and Christopher Patrick Allen runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! COLE Uh-oh. That ain't the cavalry! That's a rival of Shayne Brave! "Success" by Jay-Z dies down. Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly are double teaming on Shayne Brave in the corner when CPA enters the ring. He grabs Cuban Wall and starts beating on him in another turnbuckle corner! COLE And look at this, CPA and Cuban Wall are going at it! The crowd erupts at the sight of the 6'6" 280 pound CPA taking it to the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall! The two big men of the OAOAST slug it out in a turnbuckle corner while Spanish Fly slugs it out with Shayne Brave in the other turnbuckle corner. COLE We have wrestlers pairing with each other now! The ring is starting to fill up. POPICK They're fighting for the 29th spot in the Rumble! This match is HUGE for all of them! Cuban Wall gains control of CPA, while Shayne Brave finally gains control of Spanish Fly! Brave whips Spanish Fly into the ropes--Spanish Fly reverses--Shayne Brave bounces off of the ropes--right into the waiting arms of Cuban Wall who hiptosses Shayne Brave OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Whoa! COACH Woo-hoo! Look at that! COLE Shayne Brave has been eliminated from this match! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: "Showtime" Shayne Brave Time in ring: 3:22 eliminated: none eliminated by: Cuban Wall Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Christopher Patrick Allen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE We have our 2nd elimination. POPICK EXCELLENT work, Wall! Caught him by surprise! COLE Wall shocking Shayne with hiptoss! And the Corporation once again has the 2-on-1 advantage! Cuban Wall goes to work on CPA as Spanish Fly rests on a turnbuckle corner. Wall grabs CPA and whips him into the ropes. Bossman Slam! COLE Oh my! What a maneuver from Cuban Wall! A giant Bossman Slam on the similar sized Christopher Patrick Allen! POPICK AW YEAH! FORGET ABOUT IT! CPA is NO MATCH for the Corporate Wall! COLE The Corporate Muscle in control of the Director Of Security for The Enterprise! POPICK It's the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation vs. The Enterprise, and guess what? The Corporation is winning! COLE And that makes you very happy, right? POPICK Oh yeah, definitely! Cuban Wall beats on CPA while Spanish Fly gets a few kicks in as well. Suddenly, the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! COLE And who's it gonna be? "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 starts playing again causing the crowd to cheer loudly as the entrance doors slide open, and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant runs down the entrance ramp and meets up with Cuban Wall! A slugfest erupts between the two of them! COLE Tyler Bryant enters the ring and the first person he goes after is Cuban Wall, the man who eliminated his partner Shayne Brave from this match-up! POPICK Tyler is looking to avenge his boyfriend’s loss, I see. Tyler shockingly gains advantage of Cuban Wall, while Spanish Fly tries unsuccessfully to dump CPA. "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5 dies down. POPICK He's the smallest member of the Corporation, but he has the biggest heart! That's what Spanish Fly is all about! COLE Spanish Fly, at 4'11", is desperately trying to eliminate Christopher Patrick Allen, who stands 6'6" and weighs in at 280 lbs.! COACH He's doing it! He's almost doing it! Spanish Fly has CPA's feet off of the mat, but that's as far as he's getting with the big man. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall pairs up with "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant in another turnbuckle corner. POPICK That's what I love about the Lethal Rumble Match! Non-stop action! COACH And the Corporate Lethal Rumble is no exception! POPICK That's right, Coach! Tyler Bryant continues duking it out with Cuban Wall in a turnbuckle corner while Spanish Fly STILL continues trying to dump CPA over the top rope. Tyler tries to dump Cuban Wall, but Wall is just too damn big for the 6'0" 196 pound Bryant. Spanish Fly just punches CPA, who punches back. But Fly manages to gain advantage of CPA and takes him over to a turnbuckle corner where he slams his hand on the top turnbuckle pad! COLE We’re getting down to the nitty gritty. There's only one more Corporation member left and one more OAOAST Superstar left! Remember, the OAOAST Superstar was drawn at random! So we still don't know who that last man is! POPICK It's certainly not Tha Puerto Rican! COLE No! PRL is #1, thanks to you last week! POPICK I know. Ain't I great? COACH You sure are, Popick! POPICK That's right, and I got the belt to prove it! COLE A belt you might not have for much longer. POPICK Shut up, Michael Cole. COACH Yeah, shut up! Cuban Wall grabs Tyler Bryant and slams his face on top of a turnbuckle pad! He then proceeds to choke Tyler on the turnbuckle! POPICK Corporate Wall going to work! HA! HA! Wall scoops Tyler up onto his right shoulder. He drops Tyler jaw-first onto the top turnbuckle pad! Snake Eyes! Bryant stumbles around the ring, so Cuban Wall waits for Bryant to get near the ropes before charging forward and clotheslining "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant over the top rope and onto the floor! Tyler’s face hits the ring apron as he falls to the protective mats on the outside! POPICK HA! HA! Goodnight Tyler! COLE And Tyler Bryant is eliminated! POPICK SEE YA~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant Time in ring: 1:54 eliminated: none eliminated by: Cuban Wall Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Christopher Patrick Allen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant is eliminated, which means that neither member of D*LUX will be the 29th entrant into the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday! POPICK Nice try, kids. Better luck next year! Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly double team on Christopher Patrick Allen while the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company begins playing which causes the crowd to cheer loudly! The entrance doors slide open, and Leon Rodez comes storming down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! COLE And here we go! The last OAOAST Superstar has entered the match! Only one more entrant left! "Rock The Casbah" by Trust Company dies down. As soon as Leon slides into the ring, CPA charges forward with a clothesline. However, Rodez ducks, CPA bounces off of the ropes, and right into a standing dropkick from Leon Rodez, knocking him down! COLE Rodez in the ring, and he meets up with someone he's been having problems with since last year! Leon waits for CPA to get up. When he does, Rodez flies with a flying forearm knocking CPA down again! COLE He got him again! POPICK Rodez looking quite impressive here! COLE Impressive enough to win the Lethal Rumble Match? POPICK Maybe. As long as it's not Tha Puerto Rican, I don't give a damn who I face at AngleMania VII! COACH Like it'll be Tha Puerto Rican this Sunday, Stephen! With the #1 spot and the $1 million bounty? POPICK Heh, true dat, Coach. True dat. COACH Double true! Leon Rodez picks Christopher Patrick Allen up and beats on him in a turnbuckle corner. Cuban Wall and Spanish Fly look on. COLE We got 2 Corporate members, a member of The Enterprise, and Leon Rodez, and we are just seconds away from the entrance of Vitamin X, the last wrestler in the Corporate Rumble! Rodez whips Christopher Patrick Allen into the ropes--NO--CPA reverses--CPA puts his head down, so Leon kicks him right in the face! Rodez starts hammering away on CPA, getting the big man dazed and confused. Rodez's punches take CPA to the ropes. Rodez takes a few steps back and charges forward-- SPANISH FLY NAILS CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK THAT SENDS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE FLOOR! COACH YO~! POPICK YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! SPANISH FLY WAY TO GO! YEAH BABY! TAKE HIM OUT! TAKE HIM OUT! COLE Spanish Fly with a big time Roundhouse Kick, and Christopher Patrick Allen is GONE! POPICK EXCELLENT! WAY TO MAKE ME PROUD, FLY! WAY TO GO! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Christopher Patrick Allen Time in ring: 3:22 eliminated: none eliminated by: Spanish Fly Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Spanish Fly, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spanish Fly celebrates his elimination of a man twice his size. Leon watches him celebrate, and after looking to the crowd, Leon shrugs his shoulders, grabs Spanish Fly by his stirngy hair and tights, and just throws him over the top rope and onto the floor! POPICK NO! COLE Spanish Fly's celebration cost him the match! COACH Poor little critter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Spanish Fly Time in ring: 4:10 eliminated: Christopher Patrick Allen eliminated by: Leon Rodez Left in ring: Cuban Wall, Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cuban Wall grabs Leon Rodez and starts slugging it out with him! COLE And now Cuban Wall and Leon Rodez are going at it! And Leon is no stranger to the SJPC! Remember his battles with them almost two years ago! POPICK That was The Lightning Crew. This is the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation! There's a difference, you know. Back and forth Leon and Wall go, with neither man gaining the advantage! Wall gets a few more punches on Leon then Leon does on him, but Rodez stops that with a thumb to the eye! POPICK Hey! COLE Leon strikes, gaining the advantage! POPICK Come on Wall! Don’t let us down! Rodez punches Wall in the face several times! He gets one of the big men of the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation good and groggy before grabbing Wall’s left hand and giving him an Irish whip into the ropes. Rodez rolls through and hits Wall with a clothesline! COLE The Shack Attack! COACH He was reeling, but now he's in control! Come on Wall! Cuban Wall is stunned, but he does not fall! So, Leon grabs Cuban Wall and tries to dump him over the top rope! COLE If Leon does this, then the hopes of a Corporation member being #29 rests on Vitamin X's shoulders! POPICK He's not gonna do it! Cuban Wall is just too damn big! COLE He might! The #29 spot is on the line here! Rodez keeps trying to dump Wall onto the floor! POPICK NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Rodez manages to get Wall off of his feet! COLE He's getting close! Leon is getting close! POPICK COME ON! COME ON WALL! COACH WE GOT TROUBLE! Leon gives up trying to dump Wall, and just starts punching him in the face. Cuban Wall punches back. Another slugfest erupts as the timer appears on screen again. 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!! "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. The crowd responds with a resounding chorus of boos. The entrance doors slide open and Vitamin X comes walking down the entrance ramp, a determined look on his face. COLE And there is the last entrant! One of these three men will have the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday! Leon Rodez once again tries to dump Cuban Wall out. Neither men notices Vitamin X's entrance theme song playing. COLE After his pathetic performance last year, can Vitamin X more than make up for it with the #29 spot this Sunday? POPICK He will! One of Brains & Brawn will win the #29 spot! Trust me! VX sees that Leon is busy trying to eliminate Cuban Wall, and that is when he makes his move, sliding in underneath the bottom rope and rushing over. He grabs both Leon and Wall's legs… --flips them over… --Leon Rodez and Cuban Wall go over the top rope… --Leon Rodez's feet hit the floor! Cuban Wall's feet hit the floor! COLE There goes Wall and Leon Rodez! Vitamin X has won the Corporate Lethal Rumble! Vitamin X is #29 in the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Yes! Yes! Yes! POPICK YEAH BABY! YEAH! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Final Elimination: Leon Rodez Time in ring: 1:58 eliminated: Spanish Fly eliminated by: Vitamin X Left in ring: Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Final Elimination: Cuban Wall Time in ring: 8:08 eliminated: "Showtime" Shayne Brave, "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, eliminated by: Vitamin X Left in ring: Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINNOR~!: Vitamin X Entered: #8 Time of Participation: 0:08 Eliminated: Leon Rodez, Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Vitamin X just eliminated his own partner to win! POPICK But he won! I am very pleased with this result! A Corporate member is #29 in the Lethal Rumble Match! Vitamin X celebrates his victory by doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle to LOUD boos. He laughs manically. COLE Not even 10 seconds in the match, and Vitamin X is #29 in the Lethal Rumble! Unbelieveable! POPICK Excellent job! Vitamin X is sitting on top of the world now! Vitamin X taunts the booing fans, some of who throw garbage into the ring. X goes back to doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. VITAMIN X YEAH BABY! I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT! I'M GOING! I'M #29! POPICK That's right, X! You're #29! You're #29! Way to go! The X-Man continues doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle as "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys continues playing. BUZZ~!!! COLE What? POPICK What the--? *1, 2, 3! Hit it!* "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The opening trumpet blare causes the crowd to cheer loudly! Vitamin X is shocked! "Let Me Clear My Throat (Old School Reunion Mix)" by DJ Kool starts playing. The entrance doors slide open, and THE MAD CAPPA comes walking down the entrance ramp, staring a hole through Vitamin X! COLE The Mad Cappa!? The Mad Cappa is the last entrant!? POPICK WHAT!? COACH Wait a minute! He can't be in this! COLE Why not!? COACH Because he's not in the Lethal Rumble Match! COLE He is now apparently! POPICK Who did this!? AngleSault! Was it AngleSault!? Was it him that did this!? DAMNIT WHO DID THIS!? The Mad Cappa runs right into the ring! POPICK NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! Vitamin X goes for a punch--BLOCKED! The Mad Cappa fires off with punches! Right hand! Right hand! Right hand! The Mad Cappa whips Vitamin X into the ropes. Lou Thesz Press! COLE Lou Thesz Press! Lou Thesz Press on Vitamin X! Cappa gets up, charges forward, bounces off of the ropes and drops a double axehandle onto Vitamin X! Cappa then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. COLE Cappa in control of Vitamin X! The final entrant, the surprise entrant in the Corporate Lethal Rumble Match! The Mad One waits gets into position. He stands up straight on the top rope…and then jumps off of it, hitting Vitamin X with a legdrop right across the throat! COLE Top rope legdrop from The Mad Cappa! POPICK DAMNIT! X, GET YOUR HEAD BACK INTO THIS MATCH! COME ON! The Mad Cappa yells out, "HE'S FINISHED!" and the crowd cheers loudly! POPICK No! No! No! No! He’s not finished! He's not finished! He's not! No way! Uh-uh! Uh-uh! No way! No way! NO WAY! COLE Can Cappa do it? Can he win the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match!? POPICK SHUT UP MICHAEL COLE, YOU'RE NOT HELPING! Mad Cappa picks Vitamin X up--and gets hit with a low blow! POPICK Yes! COACH Phew. COLE Vitamin X with a low blow, saving himself there! POPICK He brought himself some time! He brought himself some much needed time! The Mad Cappa clutches his groin in pain. Horrible, horrible pain. COLE Desperation manuever that time by Vitamin X. POPICK Let's go, baby! Win that spot! This match was yours! Don't let this surprise distract you! Win this match! Win it for yourself! Win it for the Corporation! BUT JUST WIN IT DAMNIT! Vitamin X crawls around the ring while The Mad Cappa continues holding his groin. Cappa rests in a turnbuckle corner, holding his Johnson while VX is on his knees near the ropes, catching his breath. COLE Vitamin X has not yet won the Corporate Rumble! POPICK But he will, Cole! He will! Just you wait! Vitamin X uses the second ring rope to pull himself up. He is already breathing hard and has sweat pouring down his face. POPICK X is gonna handle this! He's gonna get rid of CRAPPA! He will! I know he will! I have faith in him that he will get the job done right now! Vitamin X is on his right knee. "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? POPICK WHAT!? "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing! Vitamin X is stunned! He is shocked when the entrance doors slide open, and Tha Puerto Rican steps out onto the entrance stage! COLE Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican is here! POPICK Oh no. NOT HIM! ANYONE BUT HIM! Tha Puerto Rican walks down the entrance staring at Vitamin X! VX stares back. PRL mouths off to his former Second-In-Command, and VX has no problem talking back to his former boss. COLE Tha Puerto Rican is here, and he looks ready to fight! POPICK We'll see how ready he is this Sunday, when he's got 29 other men trying to throw his ass out of the ring! We'll see then how ready he is! PRL stands near the ring, running his mouth on Vitamin X. VX runs his mouth too, and the two former allies talk trash to each other. VX uses the ropes to stand, continuing to talk trash as he does so. COLE Vitamin X has been distracted by the arrival of Tha Puerto Rican! POPICK Oh come on, X! Focus! Focus! COACH Yeah, X! Look behind you! The Mad Cappa is still in this match! POPICK Yeah, look behind you! BEHIND YOU DAMNIT! PRL motions for X to "JUST BRING IT!" and X is more than willing to bring it. X stands upright and dares PRL to get into the ring. PRL taunts VX some more. COLE They're going to get it on right here! They're gonna duke it out live on HeldDOWN~! POPICK Aw come on! Focus! FOCUS! The crowd is at a fever pitch. They get louder and louder by the second. COLE Here we go! It's gonna happen! Right here, right now! COACH LOOK OUT X! POPICK YEAH, LOOK OUT! COLE This could get ugly any second now! PRL tells Vitamin X to turn around. Vitamin X does so. KICK WHAM BUST A CAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 COLE BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP on Vitamin X! COACH No! No! No! No! POPICK AW COME ON! DAMNIT! NO! Vitamin X is out cold! The Mad Cappa glances over at Tha Puerto Rican, who is staring right at him. The Mad Cappa then grabs Vitamin X by his blue football jersey and picks him up. COACH Oh no! Not this! POPICK GET UP, X! GET UP! The Mad Cappa plays to the crowd, pointing all over the arena, and then runs with Vitamin X to the ropes… POPICK NO! NO! NO! COACH NO! The Mad Cappa launches Vitamin X OVER the top rope... ...AND ONTO THE FLOOR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vitamin X's jaw hits the bottom rope on the way down and his back hits the ring apron! *DING DING DING* (09:45) COACH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REAL Final Elimination: Vitamin X Time in ring: 2:30 eliminated: Leon Rodez, Cuban Wall eliminated by: The Mad Cappa Left in ring: The Mad Cappa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH REAL WINNOR~!: The Mad Cappa Entered: #9 Time of Participation: 1:35 Eliminated: Vitamin X ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE The Mad Cappa has won the Corporate Rumble! The Mad Cappa is the #29 entrant in the Lethal Rumble Match! BUFFER Here is your winner...AND the 29th entrant in the Lethal Rumble Match at Anglepalooza this Sunday, THE MADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! COLE Cappa is in the Rumble as the 29th entrant! The Mad Cappa did it! "Know Your Role 2000" is still playing as Tha Puerto Rican gets all up in Vitamin X's grill, taunting him while The X-Man lies face down on the ground! He flips two middle fingers to VX. Meanwhile, The Mad Cappa celebrates his victory in the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican said that he would make it up to Cappa for last week's beltshot this week, and I think this is what he meant by that! He has helped The Mad Cappa gain the #29 spot in the Lethal Rumble Match! COACH Why? He HATES The Mad Cappa! COLE Because he has a heart! Because he feels sympathy for his fellow man! Because he has RESPECT for The Mad Cappa! If you want proof that Tha Puerto Rican has changed, this is all the proof you need right here! POPICK Enough of this mushy crap! Don't you see what happened here!? Vitamin X was ROBBED! No one told me that The Mad Cappa was in the Lethal Rumble Match! NO ONE! Vitamin X was SCREWED tonight! HE WAS SCREWED GODDAMNIT! COLE No one knew! He must have been added earlier tonight! Regardless, The Mad Cappa is the #29 entrant into the Lethal Rumble Match, in part due to Tha Puerto Rican! Tha Puerto Rican looks up to The Mad Cappa. The Mad Cappa stares at PRL. PRL nods his head. Cappa nods back. PRL has a cocky smirk on his face, and The Mad Cappa points to him. Cappa raises his hands in victory. POPICK He wasn't even in the match for five minutes! COLE Neither was Vitamin X! POPICK So what!? X was screwed tonight! This whole situation SUCKS! COACH You tell 'em, Stephen! COLE The Mad Cappa is the #29 entrant into the Lethal Rumble Match! POPICK NO! Tha Puerto Rican taunts Vitamin X further, flipping him two middle fingers again, and then walks back up the entrance ramp looking at The Mad Cappa who is getting his hands raised by referees Mickey Jay and Mike Chioda. He laughs as he walks up the entrance ramp. POPICK Yeah, laugh now. For you will cry on Sunday night! PRL, you will PAY for your evil deed tonight! You are going to PAY at Anglepalooza! I've added to my army for one night only. 29 other men will want to eliminate you. Destroy you. Crush you. Why you ask? Because there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that you will win the Lethal Rumble Match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! NOT AT ALL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is #1 and The Mad Cappa is #29! POPICK OH, I HATE THEM BOTH! I HATE THEM BOTH SO DAMN MUCH! Tha Puerto Rican looks at Vitamin X lying on the floor one more time and laughs. He looks at The Mad Cappa who is still in the ring and points at him, saying, "I told you that I would make it up to you, didn't I?" The Mad Cappa mouths, "Thanks." Referees check on Vitamin X as Tha Puerto Rican exits through the sliding doors. POPICK PRL WILL PAY FOR THIS, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH! UGH! COLE Tha Puerto Rican is #1! The Mad Cappa is #29! Mr. Boricua is #30! The rest will be revealed this Sunday night at Anglepalooza! The Road To AngleMania VII starts in less than 72 hours, but Tha Puerto Rican has struck first blood right here tonight! Wrestling fans, stay tune to OAOAST Syndicated this weekend, as we countdown to Anglepalooza, and the Lethal Rumble! And the OAOAST will be out in full force for Anglepalooza on Sunday the twenty seventh! Goodnight everyone from Calgary! Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey have come out to check on Vitamin X, who is still lying face down on the protective mats. Cuban Wall curses Tha Puerto Rican's name, even though he has already left through the entrance doors. Princess Stacey looks worried for her man. The Mad Cappa raises his hands in victory again while the crowd cheers loudly. Vitamin X is able to lift his head off of the protective mats and turn it to look at the entrance, upset over his loss. Cuban Wall and Princess Stacey ask Vitamin X if he's okay as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image we see before we fade out. FADE TO BLACK Edited January 25, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
