Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 27, 2008 (edited) PROMO COLE One of our feature bouts this evening is for the One & Only World tag team championship as the Lone Star Gunslingers, despite being the champions, look to reclaim their titles after they were stolen by James Blonde and Faqu two weeks ago. * SWOOSH * [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN[/color]~! January 17, 2008[/b] [quote]Landon Maddix slips BRASS KNUCKLES to James Blonde, which goes unnoticed to Jock Mulligan who's been playing to the crowd. Needless to say, when Jock goes to pick James up he's popped in the face! COLE Oh, no. No! What a travesty it would be should the Lone Star Gunslingers lose the gold like this. Maddix flees the scene of the crime along with Megan as the cover is made. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * :o :o :o BUFFER The winners of the match and NNNNNNNNNEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... No, wait! Referee Nick Patrick comes in and strips Blonde and Faqu of the titles, waving off the pin. COACH What's this? Patrick confers with the assigned official, apparently informing him of the brass knuckles used by James Blonde. Upon hearing the news Earl Hebner returns the belts to Jock and raises his hand! COACH No way! Earl lets Buffer in on his decision and the following announced is made: BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. I have just been informed by the referee that due to the use of an illegal foreign object he has reversed the original decision. Therefore, the winners of the match and STILL One & Only World tag team champions, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" FAQU :huh: The Samoan Wrecking Ball goes ballistic, knocking out one of the officials (who shall remain nameless as to not screw up with the rest of the matches on the show!) with a thrust kick. COLE That's UNCALLED for! Blonde tries for a second to calm Faqu down, before realising just what the heck he's doing. He does manage to direct him away from the referees though, as he and Faqu do a number on the Gunslingers while Melody can only watch on helplessly! A BIG splash flattens Jock... and on Blonde's say so, flattens Baron too as he tries to crawl over and cover-up his tag team partner! Both Gunslingers are left laying now, Faqu still storming around while Blonde wipes the hair from his face and spits to the ground. Stalking over the bodies of Jock and Baron, a glint suddenly catches Faqu's eye and he reaches down, picking up one of the Tag Team Title belts and placing it in his mouth. Blonde looks surprised for a second but, realising that Faqu isn't about to put the belt down, he figures 'when in Rome' and grabs the other belt for himself. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH This may be the greatest thing I've ever seen, Cole. COLE It's disgusting, that's what it is. OAOAST officials rush out to aid the beaten champions. All Melody can do is shake her head at the carnage left behind.[/quote] We cut backstage to “Mean” Gene Okerlund with a couple of intense Gunslingers. Melody Nerdly’s there also, but only as window dressing as she remains in hot water after skipping a house show to attend a nearby Halo 3 LAN party. GENE Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, after the footage we just saw you gotta be chomping at the bit to get your hands on James Blonde and Faqu. JOCK That’s putting it mildly, Gene. James Blonde and Faqu, you’ve disrespected us in a way no one has before. We’re not so much upset about you kicking our ass because that’s apart of the sport. It’s kill or be killed. We’re hot under the collar about the robbery you committed on the people. The stolen property you’re walking around with belongs to them, and we intend on getting it back! BARON The last time we spoke Jock and I talked about respect, and how much of it we had for James Blonde and Faqu. Well that’s all out the window now. Yeah, we respect your ability, but personally you ain’t nothing more than a bunch of lowlifes. Mess with us all you want, but when you start going after family, which Jock and I consider Melody and our fans, then hell’s to be paid, boys. That’s why our match tonight is dedicated to all the people who’ve supported through thick and thin, because the Lone Star Gunslingers won’t rest until justice is served! Jock “fires” into the camera as the Gunslingers and Melody ride off in the sunset. GENE There you have it from here. Back to you ringside at Sofa Central. MATCH BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the One & Only World tag team championship! "Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship plays in the background as the match graphic pops up on-screen. * match graphic* BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers, representing Cucaracha Internacional. At a total combined weight of 590 pounds, "THE MOVER FROM VANCOUVER" JJAAAAAAAMMEEEEEESSSS BLONDE and "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" LANDON MADDIX and MEGAN SKYE come along for the ride as well, leading Blonde and Faqu -- who still possess the tag titles after stealing them from their rightful owners -- to the ring. COLE Hold on a minute. After what happened last time Landon Maddix and Megan Skye have no business ringside! COACH They’re apart of the team now, Cole. Who are you to say they can’t show their support? COLE You mean aiding and abetting? Because they sure as hell won’t stick to just cheering in the corner. Apparently OAOAST officials agree, as the challengers find themselves surrounded by referees/agents and one of the famed Wise Men in the OAOAST, “Cowboy” Bill Watts, who informs Maddix and Skye they’re “OUTTA HERE!” “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” LANDON :huh: MEGAN :bubbles: BLONDE :o FAQU :firedevil: Maddix refuses to oblige, that is until Watts threatens to award the match to the Lone Star Gunslingers via forfeit. COACH He can’t do that! COLE Of course he can. The Cowboy wields a lot of power as a senior executive. COACH He puts the [u]senior[/u] in senior executive. Landon agrees to leave but not without giving Watts a piece of his mind first. BUFFER And their opponents! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” BUFFER Accompanied by MELODY NERDLY, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, the ONE & ONLY World tag team champions… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! The Gunslingers burst out of the curtain with a ton of energy, firing up the crowd as Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the direction of Landon and Megan off to the side. Down the aisle they go slapping hands and waving like good baby faces. COLE Here they come, arguably the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, the Lone Star Gunslingers with Melody Nerdly! COACH Spare me the hyperbole. They’re good, but they’re not great. Let alone the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. If the Gunslingers find a way to get by James Blonde and Faqu, which I don’t think they will, then waiting in the wings are the former champions, the Heavenly Rockers. COLE They’d first have to win the 2008 Anderson Cup. And with the level of talent involved that’s no guarantee. Blonde and Faqu draw a line in the sand, draping the tag titles across the center of the ring. Never ones to back down from a fight the Gunslingers allow their competitiveness to get in the way and walk into the line of fire! * DINGDINGDING * Faqu catches Baron sliding in under the bottom rope with a well placed foot to the back of the neck, while Blonde clubs Jock over the back with the tag belt. They continue to dominate the champions, beating them into the ground just as they did two weeks ago. Face-first into opposite turnbuckles go the Gunslingers. Dazed and confused, the champs somehow manage to reverse a pair of Irish whips, causing Blonde and Faqu to crash into one another mid-ring! COACH That can’t feel good. Needless to say, James Blonde gets the worse of it. The impact from running into Faqu knocking him out to the floor, a spot his partner joins him at following a double clothesline! “YEAH!” COLE The champs walking tall in the early going. COACH It was like a mini-Lethal Rumble in there, Cole. Had it been Faqu would be eliminated. The action resumes inside with Jock Mulligan and James Blonde, who challenges the Texas Twister to a test of strength, only to SLAP the taste out of his mouth! JOCK :angry: Blonde retreats to his corner and tags Faqu. “BOO!” COLE Mr. Tough Guy this James Blonde is, huh? The guy picks a fight and then hides behind Faqu. COACH Blonde starts fires, Faqu puts them out. Both men lockup, and Jock grabs a side headlock, but Faqu lifts him up and tosses the 6’6” Gunslinger halfway across the squared circle with ease! Like any good cowboy Jock dusts himself off and gets right back on the saddle, hooking ‘em back up with the Samoan Wrecking Ball…only to be slammed. COACH Everybody knows Texans are stubborn, but Jock Mulligan is reinforcing that notion. Just because you’re big and tall doesn’t mean you can match power, idiot. Jock lures Faqu into a false sense of security and stomps his bare foot, ramming him into the buckle afterwards, failing to remember Samoans have thick skulls! Faqu no sells the blow and answers with a head BUTT. A tag is made and the challengers backdrop Mulligan on the rebound, followed by a DOUBLE STOMP from James Blonde! ONE… KICKOUT! Scoop and a slam, and Blonde heads up to the middle rope, but Jock gets the BOOT UP and the Mover from Vancouver wanders around in a daze. The Gunslingers tag and Baron Windels knocks Blonde off his feet with a flying lariat! ONE… KICKOUT! Blonde’s whipped into the ropes and flipped overhead. He pops to his feet and goes right back down courtesy of a standing dropkick. Baron looks to end the match early with his patent superplex, but James RAKES THE EYES and shoves Windels to the mat. He repositions himself on the middle rope and scores with a MARTY JANETTY FIST DROP! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Blonde stays on the attack, placing Windels in a reverse chinlock. *clap*clap*clap*clap* Melody rallies the crowd in support of Baron, and it works. Baron land a series of elbows and fires James off into the ropes, smacking him in the face with a BIG BOOT! COLE James Blonde may be walking around town with a few less teeth after this one. Baron succumbs to the DEVIL’S ADDICTION, slamming James over his head and tags Jock. Together they send Blonde in for the ride and chop him down with the ARKANSAS TOOTHPICK! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Jock smashes Blonde into the buckle and mounts the middle rope, driving his fist into the face. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! The Texas Twister drapes Blonde over his right shoulder and rumbles forward, planting him in the middle of the ring with the TEXAS PRAYER BOOK RUNNING POWERSLAM!! ONE… TWO… NO! Save by Faqu. COACH Poor James Blonde. He’s been singled out by the Lone Star Gunslingers and keeps on ticking despite taking a licking. COLE Blonde displaying a tremendous amount of toughness here tonight. There’s no denying that. Irish whip, but it’s reversed and Jock takes a cheap shot from Faqu. He retaliates in kind and gets blindsided with a dropkick, sending him tumbling over the top to the floor! COLE That’s not a good place to be with the Samoan Wrecking Ball out there with you. Referee Charles Robinson needs to keep a close eye on him. James Blonde makes sure that doesn’t happen, suckering Baron inside to divert the referee’s attention while Faqu whips Jock into the guardrail and splashes him against the steel! “OH!” Jock crumbles to the ground in a world of hurt. Melody rushes over his to aid but is quickly order back to the Gunslingers corner by Charles Robinson. Faqu places Jock on the apron and Blonde suplexes him back in, then makes the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Faqu sticks his head through the middle rope and Blonde rams Jock into it! COACH That’s using your head. COLE And there’s the tag. Faqu the legal man. Whipped into the ropes Jock ducks a clothesline and nails the Faqu with a BANDIT KICK! Amazingly, the Samoan Wrecking Ball stays on his feet. He shakes off the cobwebs and tells Jock to bring it. And he does. Again and again, but Faqu still won’t go down. A MISSLE DROPKICK [I]only staggers[/I] the big man. So the Texas Twister picks up steam and unloads with a DISCUS PUNCH that has no effect! COLE This man is awesome. I can’t believe he’s still standing. Faqu stuns Jock with a palm strike and fires him off, but Jock comes back with a CRUCIFIX. Or so he tries as he struggles to bring the Samoan Wrecking Ball down. Baron helps out with that, dropkicking Faqu, as the late Gorilla Monsoon would say, right in the kisser! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Both men return to their feet around the same time, but it’s Faqu who’s able to make the first move, nailing Jock with a THRUST KICK. He slams Jock in the center of the ring and goes up top, ROARING at the top of his lungs as he crashes down onto the Texas Twister with a BIG SPLASH!! MELODY :o ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron makes the save. “YEAH!” MELODY :) Faqu dumps Jock outside so that James Blonde can do a number on him as he gets into it with Baron. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This is ridiculous. Isn’t anybody watching on a monitor backstage?! COACH Let the wrestlers police themselves, Cole. Anytime one of your favorites is on the receiving end of a BUTT-kicking you cry foul. Be a man. RANDY SAVAGE OOOOOOH YEEEEAAH! Face-first… NO! Jock blocks it and introduces Blonde to the STEEL STEPS instead! “YEAH!” Confronted near the apron by Faqu, Jock thrusts his shoulder between the ropes and slingshots in for a sunset flip…but Faqu sits down on him! Reaching back, Faqu hooks the leg. COLE That…that may have taken everything out of him. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” FAQU :huh: Tag made, and James Blonde shoves Jock in the corner, punishing him with knees to the midsection and hard right hands. He whips him across and follows in with a CLOTHESLINE, then spikes him with a RUNNING BULLDOG! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! SAVE BY BARON! An illegal switch is made as Charles Robinson admonishes Baron for his actions, causing Melody to throw her arms up in the air, frustrated that went unseen. Robinson notices Blonde has turned into an angry Samoan and questions both men, who of course deny any shenanigans. COLE Like they’d tell you, ref. Yeah, we did it. So? What are you going to do about it? Faqu stuns Jock with a series of head butts, and then floors him with a thrust punch to the throat. Jock eats a foot to the face before he’s whipped in for a spine crunching SAMOAN DROP! ONE… TWO… Kickout. And just [I]barely[/I]. After a legal tag, the Mover from Vancouver swings over the top and off the middle rope… COACH Lionsault. You can stick a folk in Jock, he’s done. …BUT JOCK GETS THE KNEES UP! “YEAH!” Blonde smartly tags out. Faqu sets Jock for a high angle back suplex, but the Texas Twister floats over and rolls him up in a SCHOOL BOY! The fans jump out of their seats. Her fingers crossed, Melody hopes this is it. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “OH!” COLE A half-a-count away from one of the most miraculous victories in any sport. COACH Where does he get it from, Cole? A normal man would’ve been finished long ago. The Gunslingers are really showing me something tonight. COLE The same can be said for James Blonde and Faqu, who’ve put up a helluva fight thus far. No matter the outcome, they’ve solidify themselves as a top contender in my eyes. Faqu catches Jock with another thrust kick. Rather than go for the cover he whips him to the corner -- and with such force Jock drops to the seat of his pants! Like a bull seeing red, Faqu’s eyes widen. Hopping from side to side, the Samoan Wrecking Ball charges forward while releasing a blood curling scream and RAMS HIS ASS UPSIDE JOCK’S HEAD! SAMOA! Melody can’t bear to watch, turning away as Faqu signals the end. Then it hits her. She hands Baron a STEEL CHAIR and hops on the apron to distract the referee. As Faqu lifts Jock for his double underhook piledriver, Baron enters the ring and… * BOOM * …wallops the Samoan Wrecking Ball across the back! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Faqu slowly turns around and gets popped in the head as well! The Samoan Wrecking Ball teeters before going down. COACH Defend your boy now, Cole. That was uncalled for. Fueled by the crowd’s support Jock musters every bit of strength left in his body to make the tag, but James Blonde and Faqu are the first to do so. Jock spots it out of the corner of his eye and dives towards his corner for the HOT TAG~! “YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Baron comes in firing rights and Cowboy Bebop elbows, then whips Blonde across and decks him with a flying lariat. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Windels sends Blonde into the buckle and hammers away from the middle rope as the crowd counts each blow. Baron feels Faqu sneaking up on him and wipes him out with a diving back elbow! Now it’s his turn to get some of what James Blonde was having -- a nice big helping of Baron Windels’ fist. Baron pummels the Samoan Wrecking Ball until he’s clubbed from behind by Blonde, who digs into his tights and pulls out BRASS KNUCKLES as the ref checks on the fallen Gunslinger. COLE Not again! Faqu holds Jock up, but he ducks and Blonde winds up knocking out his own partner with the knucks! “YEAH!” BLONDE :o Baron spins Blonde and serves him a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL (LEAPING) DDT! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Baron’s not through yet. COACH What’s the meaning of this? If you’re going to pin the guy, pin him. Don’t be looking to add insult to injury. COLE (scoffs) Look who’s talking. Jock returns to the picture, bear hugging Blonde as Baron shoots off the ropes with a FLYING LARIAT! COLE Lone Star Lasso! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the match and STILL your One & Only World tag team champions, Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels… THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGEERRRRRSSSS!! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody jumps the Gunslingers inside, embracing the sweaty men in short shorts with the excitement of a young girl attending a Hannah Montana concert as Charles Robinson hands the tag titles back to them. COLE Congratulations to the Lone Star Gunslingers for regaining and successfully defending their championship and to the team of James Blonde and Faqu for a valiant effort. But they learned cheaters never win. COACH Then why are the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl? COLE The game hasn’t been played yet! COACH Yep, answers my question. Wishing thinking on your part. Edited January 28, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
