Tony149 0 Report post Posted February 14, 2008 (edited) BUFFER The following Anderson Cup bout is scheduled for one fall with a 45 minute time limit and is for the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference Championship! [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/cwtmsooner.jpg] "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter blasts through the loud speakers and the Sooner Bruisers emerge as the clear favorites in our next match. BUFFER Introducing first, hailing from the great state of Oklahoma, at a total combined weight of 530 pounds and ranked second in the MWC Conference, the former professional wrestling tag team champions of the world, BIG FRANK and UBER... THE SOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... BBRRRRRRUUUUUUUIIIIIISSEEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Oiled from head to toe is Big Frank, but even more noticeable is the heavily bandage left knee and slight limp of Uber. COLE There you see the battle scar from last week's encounter with the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, whom the Bruisers defeated to advance to the MWC Conference Finals here tonight. COACH And you know what they say about a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Which is why things are about to get quite interesting. [I]Tailored suits, show of your cars Fine hotels and big cigars Up for grabs, up for a price[/I] With the biggest shit-eating grins imaginable on their faces, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright are rather jovial for two men about to square off against the most punishing tag team in OAOAST history. Perhaps still giddy over the acquisition of Mrs. Spezia's Cookies. BUFFER And their opponents, being led down the aisle by their Chief Financial Officer, MACKENZIE DECENZO, and Director of Security, CPA. Representing the Enterprise, the top ranked team in the MWC Conference, also former tag team champions...CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Moneymaker asks for and receives the microphone from Michael Buffer. THEODORE Cut the music. * music dies * THEODORE Bruisers, as independent contractors I know you're forced to live paycheck to paycheck like all the other nickel-and-dimers in the arena and watching at home. I also know Big Frank that your brother is nursing a boo-boo that may require surgery later down the line without the proper rehabilitation program, the kind of which you won't receive under the OAOAST's healthcare plan, or lack thereof. So I'm prepared to offer you the deal of a lifetime. For walking away with your personal welfare in tact, I'm willing to PAY for the treatment Uber rightly deserves. That means the finest doctors money can buy will ensure you'll never have to miss any time and therefore a payday if you accept my offer. Because I'm in such a good mood tonight, I'll even include a cool million dollars for each of you! BIG FRANK Throw in the broad and you got a deal. MACKENZIE :lol: THEODORE Gentlemen... Mackie begins nodding, as if saying, you put them in their place Teddy. THEODORE ...it's been a pleasure doing business with you. MACKENZIE :huh: COLE I can't believe Theodore Moneymaker just pimped out his Chief Financial Officer. COACH Who says Mr. Moneymaker is partisan? He used a page out of the Clinton playbook! Although that means you're about to be suspend for your "pimped out" comment, Mikey. MACKENZIE No, I'm seeing Alix. BIG FRANK Girl, I don't know if you're a hardcore dyke or just bi, but once I insert my disc into your drive you'll forget about the rest and come with the best. On second thought, you're a bit tacky for my tastes. The Superfreak may like 'em a bit freaky but they also need to be classy, and you ain't got no class for me to start tapping that ass. Mackie SLAPS Big Frank. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Known for his short temper, code for ROID RAGE, Big Frank moves in on Mackenzie but is confronted by CPA. BIG FRANK You better sit your ass down before I knock you on it! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" CPA removes his sleeveless t-shirt in response and gears up for war. So focused are Big Frank and Uber on the Enterprise's Director of Security, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright slip behind them undetected. And Wright BLASTS Big Frank with his BRIEFCASE, sending the Man of Tomorrow flying out to the floor as Moneymaker delivers a CHOP BLOCK on Uber!!! COLE For the second week in a row a chop block has been used to bring Uber down. That move has no purpose in professional wrestling and ought to be outlawed in my opinion. It can end a man's career, damn it. COACH Uber has only himself to blame, Cole. It's not Teddy's fault the guy is totally unaware of his surroundings. You wouldn't see him or CW get clipped I promise you that. Ever the opportunist, Christian Wright slams the briefcase down on the bandage knee of Uber Bruiser just before referee Earl Hebner signals for the bell, sliding it over to Mackenzie once he‘s through. * DINGDINGDING * Wright rips off the knee pad/bandage on Uber's leg and with Moneymaker's help drags him to their corner, where they repeatedly slap his leg across the ring post! "OW, OW, OW...OWWWWWWWW!" The fans HOWL in support of the Psycho Gremlin, who's also howling but in pain. COACH Who'd have thought the Sooner Bruisers would become such fan favorites a year ago? COLE The fans certainly love their smash mouth style of wrestling. Winning isn't enough for them, they want to beat you up in the process! But right now they're the ones getting beat up. Whatever's in that briefcase of Christian Wright's has knocked Big Frank loopy. Right on cue, we cut to a shot of the Man of Tomorrow struggling to his feet. Inside, a tag has been made and after stretching the hamstring Theodore Moneymaker locks on the FIGURE-4 LEGLOCK!! COACH With the condition Uber's knee is in, you gotta wonder how much longer he can go, Cole. Then again, he's stupid enough to risk his career just to prove he's a big tough guy. COLE The Bruisers are built like tanks, and you can't break a tank. The Psycho Gremlin steadfastly refuses to quit, the perspiration dripping off his red face as he grits his teeth in a desperate attempt to block the pain. Senior official Earl Hebner right there to make the call, face to face with Uber...but it opens the door for Teddy and CW to lock hands for added leverage! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" A split second behind the crowd, Earl turns and sees nothing but CW chatting with CPA in the corner. Suddenly Mackie begins screaming "He tapped out. He tapped out!" EARL :huh: Played like a fool, Earl asks Uber if he tapped. "No!" howls the Psycho Gremlin, pointing behind the official as Teddy and CW lock hands again. COLE Damn it, Earl. Turn around! Everybody in the arena sees the illegal double-team except the guy in the stripes. Unbelievable. Earl takes another look, but now CW is chatting with Mackie. He questions Wright and of course he denies any shenanigans. BIG FRANK has enough. Having shook off the cobwebs, the Man of Tomorrow storms inside and breaks the grip of Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, spiking the Billion Dollar Heir with a big elbow before knocking CW off the apron!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The MWC top seed and high ranking Enterprise members are fast to regroup, as Moneymaker and Wright tag. Clawing towards his corner, Uber is drilled by a MIDDLE ROPE ELBOW DROP! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT, AND WITH AUTHORITY! COLE Down but not out is Uber Bruiser. Still a lot of fight left in the Psycho Gremlin. CW measures Uber and drops him with a SUPERKICK. Rather than go for the cover Wright grapevines the legs and applies the WALLSTREET CLOVERLEAF!! COACH Another painful submission hold right there, Cole. If Uber doesn't put his pride aside he's gonna leave with a broken leg. "UBER!" "UBER!" "UBER!" Too far away from the ropes Uber must somehow escape Wright's clutches or quit. Needless to say, he chooses the former and displays a tremendous amount of upper body strength PUSHING UP AND OUT to flip Christian Wright over! MACKENZIE :bubbles: ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! COLE How about that? Uber was simply trying to get out of the Wallstreet Cloverleaf and nearly scored the pin. COACH That surprised him as much as it did CW. As you said, Uber was just looking for a way out of the hold and almost got the 1-2-3. Christian got trapped underneath for a second. A couple of seconds to be exact. Wright rolls to his corner to make the tag and Moneymaker catches the Psycho Gremlin with a BILLION $ KNEELIFT, then drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! The Billion Dollar Heir smashes Uber's shin down onto his bent knee, then goes for the figure-4...but Uber kicks him in the rear and Theodore smacks his face into the turnbuckle, stumbling back into the arms of Uber Bruiser and a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Unfortunately for the Bruisers, Moneymaker lands near the Enterprise side of the ring and easily tags out. Christian Wright sneaks up behind Uber, now on his feet and facing his corner, and brings him down with an INVERTED DDT! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! WRIGHT :angry: The Natural stomps Uber hard in the chest and sets him up for a piledriver, with Theodore Moneymaker ready to spike him from the top...but the Psycho Gremlin COUNTERS with a BACKDROP and catches Moneymaker on the way down in a POWERSLAM!! "OW, OW, OW...OWWWWWWWW!" With his two major obstacles out of the way, Uber is finally able to make the (HOT) TAG! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Big Frank nails Christian with a series of right hands, then fires him off and delivers a PRESS SLAM! Moneymaker receives a slam of his own but of the traditional variety. Kick to the gut double CW over, and the Man of Tomorrow follows up with a TIGER BOMB!! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!!! The pin is broken up by Theodore Moneymaker. He rakes Big Frank's eyes and sets for an Irish whip, but it's reversed and the Billion Dollar Heir gets taken around the world for free in a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!! COLE The Bruisers are leaving Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright black and blue. COACH This referee has lost control of the match, Cole. Big Frank's gouging eyes, pulling hair and I think even uttered something anti-Semitic. COLE (appalled) He did no such things. Big Frank signals for the FRANKENSTENER and shoots CW in, but CPA trips him up and the Man of Tomorrow lands hard on the canvas. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wright shakes off the cobwebs and readies Big Frank for a Stockmarket Crash, but it's blocked twice and Big Frank counters with the 69 DRIVER!!! MACKENZIE :o ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * CPA is too late breaking up the pin, and Big Frank rolls out to the floor to celebrate with his little brother who can barely stand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match, advancing to the Finals of the 2008 Anderson Cup... THE SOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... BBRRRRRRUUUUUUUIIIIIISSEEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" * CUE REPLAY * COACH If any move should be outlawed it's the 69 Driver. Somebody could break a neck. COLE Just like a chop block could break a leg. COACH Yeah, but nobody sells a plastic neck like they do a leg. The replay ends and we cut back to the Bruisers with their hands raised in triumph on the stage. COLE So the Sooner Bruisers advance to the Anderson Cup Finals. And we'll be back with more right after this. Edited February 15, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
