OAOAST Syndicated - 2/24/08

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Brought to you by American Express

Taped: February 21st, 2007

First air date: February 24th(!), 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area)

Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan

 

The opening video played and we were welcomed to this special pre-empted edition of Syndicated by the two men that are inexplicably our number two announce team, BEHIND Michael Cole and Coach, by CHOICE, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Tony Schiavone. Do none of you WATCH Smackdown? Oy! Anyway, we get a run down of the card on this special "oh crap, everybody was in a multi-man match on HD this week" edition. Featuring The Christ Air Express taking on The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation and Alfdogg in action in our feature matches.

 

***The Christ Air Express -VS- The Bone Thug and Rock Hard Brickston***

Bone Thug and Brickston represented the "Guys from the Corporation who didn't make Popick's Survivor Series team". Hey, the nWo had a B-team and they were the greatest stable in history. Am i rite? The Anderson Cup semi-finalists MARV and MEL struggled in the early going, out-matched in the power stakes by Brickston. It was only through some patented double-teaming that they finally put Rock Hard down, forcing him to the outside to regroup. But while the referee got the illegal MARV out of the ring, in snuck The Bone Thug, cracking MARV with a Yakuza Kick in the corner before clotheslining MEL. That allowed the SJPC duo to isolate and work over MEL, with MARV unable to help out. The Corporate team didn't show quite the cohesive teamwork The CAE did. But they worked MEL over pretty well all the same, until that is Brickston went for the Killswitch, escaped by MEL and countered with a Swinging Bulldog! Recovered, MARV got the tag and the pace quickened as The CAE took back over. A double whip attempt went array from Bone Thug and Brickston, a reversal on one side allowing MARV to hit a Running DDT on Bone Thug. The CAE then took it to Rock Hard. A victory roll attempt was countered, Brickston throwing MEL down and locking on the Ankle Lock. But an enziguri from MARV sent Brickston rolling forward, MEL completing the cradle and holding down Rock Hard for a quick three count!

 

Winners: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall

 

The Christ Air Express didn't have the luxury of celebrating their win however, as THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS suddenly rushed the ring. Lightning quick PERCUSSIONs laid out both MARV and MEL to howls of derision to the crowd. Payback for the save The CAE made a week and a half ago. As Logan and Holly lorded it over the fallen Nerdlys, Synth then leaned into the nearest camera with a warning for The Gunslingers, yelling that "we comin' for ya!".

 

A good time to remind you all about...

 

 

THE OAOAST LEAP YEAR SPECTACULAR

A MARVelous Experience Once Every Four Years

 

~2008 Anderson Cup Final~

The Sooner Bruisers -vs- Team Heyross

 

~OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship~

Stephen Joseph Popick © -vs- Colombian Heat

 

~OAOAST World Tag Team Championships, Sin City Street Fight~

The Lone Star Gunslingers © -vs- The Heavenly Rockers

 

~OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Championships~

Love Generation -vs- Faqu, James Blonde & Todd Cortez

 

~Steel Cage Match~

Black Widow -vs- Miss Jobs

 

Plus: Theodore Moneymaker announces to the world who Krista Isadora Duncan's child is!! The mysterious GENSHOU in action!! And plenty more besides!!

 

 

On return to Syndicated, James is in the ring with a microphone and a handful of money. This week he was feeling even more generous than usual, after finishing filming on his new movie project, offering up a whopping $1500 to anyone who believed they were capable of beating him.

 

***James Riggs -VS- "Maverick" Shaun Maverick***

"Imaginative kid, huh?" sneered Jesse upon the rookie's ring announcement. Unimaginative nicknames aside, the young Maverick stepped up but fared little better than those before him. Riggs worked the youngster over with strikes before executing the Rolling Koppou Kick. Maverick failed to respond and the ref was ready to stop the match, until Riggs slapped on the Crossface Chicken Wing, Maverick waking up into a world of pain and tapping in an instant.

 

Winner: James Riggs, via submission

 

A short AngleMania vignette with Theodore Moneymaker played. Short, because Moneymaker was asked simply one question. "What does AngleMania mean to me? Simple... more money! BWAHAHAHA!"

 

On that note, we cut backstage where a heated debate had broken out backstage between no less than Deuce Deuce Bigelow and Brock Ausstin! Apparantly, both men had voiced their intentions on heading to St. Louis for the Leap Year Spectacular and being named as Krista's child, leading to a nose to nose confrontation between the two with other OAOAST personalities crowded around, egging them on. As the two big hosses argued away, they were interrupted by a grinning Felix Strutter. He just clapped and chuckled to himself until they stopped. Felix apologised for interrupting, but said he felt he should be the voice of reason, since HE was infact going to be named as the child. Up went shouts of derision, not least from Biff Atlas! Yes, Biff also believed himself to be the child. No sooner did the thought of "If Biff Atlas can be the kid, anyone can be the kid" run through the minds of viewers than voices chimed in from all around the circle that they were infact the kid, before it all turned into a schoolyard bundle right there and then in the middle of the catering area!! Bodies piled on top of each other, food went flying ("Thank God it was cream pie day and not kebab and fondou day!", Jesse Ventura) and all this was watched from the sidelines by Christopher Patrick Allen, with a satisfied smirk on his face.

 

***Jumbo -VS- Vinny Valentine***

Out of a wheelchair, Vinny Valentine provided the Syndicated viewership with "pure inspiration, baby" as he limped to the ring on GLITTER ENCRUSTED CRUTCHES! The Disco Duck proudly proclaimed that he sent The Mad Cappa packing "back to Squaresville, USA" last week (revisionist history at it's finest) but lamented that his efforts last week had left him physically uncapable of competing again this week. So, instead of a wrestling match, he suggested that his opponent for the night Jumbo come to the ring and settle their differences over the sounds of "December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)" by The Four Seasons, whose record he just happened to have with him.

 

Never one to pass up a good dance, Jumbo headed out to the ring and Valentine passed the record out of the ring, instructing the timekeeper to 'hit it'. Unfortunately, the OAOAST isn't 12 inch record compatible... and, even if we were, why would there be one at ringside anyway? So Vinny instead called out to the production team to hit his music instead. Vinny danced away to "Disco Duck", showing no apparant signs of injury. And eventually Jumbo joined in. But just as the ring seemed to be turning into a boogie wonderland, it became murder on the dancefloor as Jumbo laid out Valentine with a big clothesline! Suddenly all Vinny's injuries came flooding back and he begged for mercy. Jumbo showed no forgiveness though and put a beating on Valentine before crushing him in the corner with an Avalanche. A second avalanche had Vinny out on his feet, a press slam positioning him in the centre of the ring. Off the ropes, Jumbo then flattened Vinny with the XL Splash and hooked a leg for the easy pinfall victory.

 

Winner: Jumbo, via pinfall

 

After the match, Jumbo left the ring and took Vinny's Four Seasons record as a token of victory.

 

 

#~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~#

35(ish) DAYS TO GO!!

 

 

***Alfdogg -VS- Dr. Max Anderson***

A rare Syndicated appearance for the former three-time World Champion and certainly no walk in the park, as he encountered a resilient Doctor Max. Alf's class shone through at the start of the match, getting the better of each opening exchange and sending Max back to his corner to recover. But as his confidence began to shine through, Alf paid for it with a series of backfists and a leg lariat sending him out to the floor, much to his disbelief. Having shaken that off, Alf regained control and worked over the back of the good Doctor with precision moves. Crucially he couldn't seem to put Anderson away though. The fans gradually got behind the underdog, rewarding his determination and heart. And he rewarded them by firing back on Alf and launching into a fast-paced comeback. Dropkicks and headscissors aplenty, Alfdogg rolled to the floor to try and create some seperation but ended up smushed into the barricade with a Tope Con Hilo that brought the crowd to it's feet. Just as the fans sensed an upset, Alf cut Anderson off, getting a two off a Superkick. However, Max was able to counter the AA Spinebuster with a sunset flip for a nearfall, then hit the Anderson Spinebuster himself for an even closer nearfall! That would turn out to be as good as it got for the Doc however. Loading up a big spinning backfist, Anderson swung and missed leaving him off balance, allowing Alf to SPIKE him with a Fisherman's Buster. That probably would have been enough, but Alf made extra sure with a Five Star exclamation point, the ***** Alf Splash putting away Anderson gallantly.

 

Winner: Alfdogg, via pinfall

 

After the match, Alf showed no sign of celebration and more of relief and disbelief at being pushed so hard. He showed some appreciation for Dr. Anderson's efforts by leaving him the ring, the fans applauding Anderson's efforts as Alf walked off with the victory.