PROMO: Ground Rules

[King Cucaracha 0]

Shortly after From The Fire

 

“I can’t believe they’d do this!” Landon Maddix splutters, stamping around the Commissioner’s office.

 

“Believe it, sunshine,” Toxxic tells him, taking a swig of Coke.

 

“But why?” Landon demands, rounding on his former tag team partner. “We’ve been doing so well since I took over from Tom! OK, we still haven’t got a weekly TV show back,” La Cucaracha concedes, “but given the ratings Tom’s shows were drawing that’s hardly surprising… but the DVD sales are going well, we’re getting respect from the IWC, PETA stopped hassling us-”

 

“Only because you fired An Octopus,” Megan points out.

 

“Ha, yeah, cruelty to animals is one thing, they didn’t have a thing to say about their unemployment!” Landon snaps with a nasty glint in his eye, “one-dimensional, self-important, uptight slandering basta-”

 

“Landon!”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I believe you were ranting about something different?” Toxxic reminds the Commissioner with a thankful nod to Megan. Maddix coughs and composes himself.

 

“Look, it’s not that I don’t like working with you Mike,” Landon tells Toxxic, “but I just wonder where they’re going with this. If I’m Commissioner and you’re General Manager… where does one job start? Where does the other end? Is this going to lead to you getting me drunk, feeding me jalapeno peppers and having me ‘vomit’ unrealistically from a sky box?”

 

“God, no,” Toxxic shudders.

 

“Well, someone had better come up with some explanations quick,” Maddix mutters. Toxxic slips off the desk he was sitting on and places his good arm comfortingly around La Cucaracha’s shoulders.

 

“Look, Landon, it simply comes down to cash, right?” he tells his former tag partner. “The Board decided that I’m too big a name to be stuck away while I’m rehabbing. They want me around to show up at the shows so I can be advertised and can pull a few more fans in. They put enough bonuses in that it’s worth my while to do it, but they still think it’s worthwhile for them.” The Straight-Edge Sensation grins. “I’m sure it’s nothing to do with their opinion of your abilities.”

 

“So who does what?” Landon demands, slipping away and turning to face the Englishman. “I’m not having you coming in and ruining my carefully set-up, meticulously-planned booking system!”

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t touch Megan,” Toxxic assures him.

 

“Good, I- hey!” Landon snaps, then composes himself. “It’s not her I’m worried about you touching…”

 

“Landon,” Toxxic says, “seriously, I’m not here to tread on your toes. I will help out, I might get involved, but I won’t be changing anything you’ve done. But I want you to agree the same,” he says, pointing a black-nailed finger. “The Board might have given me this role just to convince me to show up and put bums in seats, but bloody hell I’m going to use it.”

 

“Uh-oh, here we go…” Megan mutters, rolling her eyes.

 

“So who’s in charge?” Landon demands, folding his arms.

 

“Exsqueeze me?”

 

“Who’s. In. Charge?” Maddix asks again, slowly and distinctly. “I’m Commissioner, you’re General Manager, who’s in charge? Who gets the final say? Surely the Board said!”

 

Toxxic mutters something inaudible.

 

“Sorry?”

 

The mutter isn’t really much louder.

 

“Didn’t really catch that, Mike.”

 

“You are,” Toxxic sighs.

 

“Thank you,” Maddix beams. He turns around and grabs a pen and some paper. “I think this is the perfect time to set up some ground rules!”

 

* * *

 

Some time later

 

“OK, so I guess we won’t start each show with a pyro display that spells ‘MADDIX ROCKS’.”

 

“Bloody right we won’t. OK, and I won’t unbook or alter anything you’ve booked, right?”

 

“Uh-huh, and I won’t unbook or alter anything you’ve booked.”

 

“There we go. Now, I want this absolutely clear; neither of us, or Megan-”

 

“Hi.”

 

“-are to in any way ride around on or otherwise use for transportation any form of motorised vehicle within the building the show is taking place in, or to claim any form of authority that may have once held sway in the so-called ‘Wild West’.”

 

“…do you really think that’s likely?”

 

“Just trust me on this one, sunshine.”