HD: Cucaracha Internacional/Moneymaker

[King Cucaracha 0]

[b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b]

[i]...WAAAAAHHHHH...

*DUM DUM*[/i]

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"Megalomaniac" cues up and out head the entire force of Cucaracha Internacional. Landon Maddix leads the way with Megan Skye on his arm, beaming from ear to ear as he glows in the success of his new 6-Man Tag Team Champions. James Blonde also beams away with Faqu stalking behind him and Nathaniel Black to the other side, the odd-man out being Todd Cortez who stands off to the side out of the way of his team-mates.

COLE
And here comes the other profiteers of Jade Rodez's misery, Cucaracha Internacional.

The six make their way to the ring with Blonde taking a moment to show off his title belt to the camera, pointing out that yes, that is his name on it. So giddy is Blonde he tries to get Cortez in on the picture, only for The Urban Legend to scowl at him and brush right past. Meanwhile Landon hits the ring and grabs the mic, calling for his troops to gather around him.

MADDIX
Well well, Colombus Ohio. Is it your lucky night or what? Cucaracha Internacional, live and in person. There'll be plenty of opportunity for autographs and polaroids later on. Infact, we'll be outside all night, $10 a pop, $20 for thre... well, you'll figure it out. First of all though, let's talk [i]last[/i] week. Let's get to congratulating the newly crowned OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions of the World, huh?

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Blonde laughs to himself and adjusts the title belt over his shoulder, slapping Faqu on the back as he stares off into the distance with the belt hanging loosely in his hand.

MADDIX
Much as I hate to sound cliché, sometimes you've got to tell it like it is. And I have to tell ya... I love it when a plan comes together! This was no mean feat getting these titles. I had to make a judgment call and hey, if I can bring Nathaniel Black in here... (Black steps forward, getting an arm around the shoulder)... this guy right here, you're looking at right now a true team player. I made a judgment call in bringing in Todd Cortez to a winning team. Like any good coach should aspire towards doing, it was the right call made at the right time. Like... that guy, who coached the Superbowl team? I don't know his name, or who won, the point is they scored some points because he picked the right touchdowner.

Apparantly the only member of Cucaracha Internacional who knows anything about American Football, Cortez 

MADDIX
And now thanks to me, finally the OAOAST has some Internacional credence! For too long Faqu and James Blonde have been the BUTT of jokes around this place. Not anymore! They've got gold now they're in Cucaracha Internacional. And Todd... well, it's been far too long since gold was around that waist. It's just like I promised.

COLE
Landon taking full credit for his partner's victory, despite being ???? miles away at the time.

COACH
He was the inspiration behind it. There in spirit.

MADDIX
With that said we move on. On to the road to AngleMania. And on to next week for the 'Torneo Cibernetico'. I got the call last week, while my boys were doing me so proud at the Leap Year Spectacular. There I was over in Cincinnati, watching another great SWF show in process, From The Fire 2008 coming soon to DVD. And AngleSault, he called me up, 1-800-SWF and he said "Hey, Landon, how do you feel about wrestling the Cibernetico in two weeks time?" Well, I thought Cibernetico was either retired or still wrestling in Mexico so needless to say I was a little confused.

COACH
Based on a true story.

MADDIX
But anyway, I just brushed it off and said sure, you find me a time portal that allows me to be in Lafayette to compete for the OAOAST and Philadelphia to run my SWF show on the same night and you can have whatever you want! Well, that time portal apparantly wasn't available. But what is available is the private jet to fly myself and Megan from Philly on the 13th, to Lafayette for Friday Night HeldDOWN~!, so you'd better believe Landon Maddix is gonna be there for Cibernetico baby!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

MADDIX
Why are you idiots booing, you'll still be here in Columbus! Actually, I guess I just answered my own question.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

MADDIX
Now, that brings me to Cibernetico III. Turns out, it's not a rookie who's part of some lucha Mr. Wrestling style dynasty. No, turns out it's a match. What can I say, we don't have many Ciberneticos in Espagna! But luckily, I knew I had somebody I could call on. First of all, I had somebody who was sure to know all about these 'Ciberneticos'. Mi hombre. Mi compradre. Mi [i]hispánico[/i]. My BFF, Todd Cortez!

Cortez rolls his eyes as Landon starts to applaud him.

COLE
BFF?

COACH
Yeah, Best Friend Forever. It's text speak, all the kids are doing it.

COLE
Oh brother.

MADDIX
And then, lo and behold, I stumbled upon two Cibernetico veterans. No less than the runner-up of Cibernetico II, Faqu... and the Cibernetico II [i]ganador[/i], the WINNER, James Blonde!!

Stepping forward, Blonde raises his hands celebrating his victory, 18 months on. Landon and Megan applaud him, but they're the only ones. Faqu is Faqu, Cortez continues to look perpetually uninterested and Nathaniel Black suddenly begins to realise where this is all leading as regards to his Cibernetico participation.

MADDIX
So I've got my troops. Enterprise... I guess it doesn't really matter who you bring, since only one person can win a Cibernetico, so I'm told. So long as you hold up your end for at least some of the match and don't embarrass yourselves, we'll all get along fine. And then it'll be on to AngleMania. The biggest show of the year. And, hey, as I just said only one person can win the Cibernetico and I've already made it clear to James, to Todd and to Faqu, should they [SIZE=1]somehow[/SIZE] win next week, then they're going to exercise their right to an AngleMania match indipendently. Whatever they want for March 30th, myself and Megan or the rest of Cucaracha Internacional will not stand in their way. So...


[i]YEOW![/i]

Landon suddenly trails off, as "Money Talks" by AC/DC suddenly begins to rock out through the arena. And much to his surprise out swaggers Theodore Moneymaker! Adjusting the lapels on his white smoking jacket, Moneymaker heads to the ring. Alone, curiously enough.

COLE
Well this is certainly interesting.

"Tailored suits, show of your cars
Fine hotels and big cigars
Up for grabs, up for a price
Where the red hot girls keep on dancing through the night"

As Moneymaker steps into the ring, James Blonde quickly steps in to hold Faqu back and convince him not to go after the uninvited guest as he strides back to Maddix with a microphone.

MONEYMAKER
Landon Maddix...

"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"
"YOU SUCK!"

MONEYMAKER
...no, that wasn't what I was going to say. Landon Maddix, first of all I'd like to take this moment to officially state how much I'm looking forward to next week. Cucaracha Internacional and The Enterprise together for the first time, two forces combined to wipe out Leon Rodez and his merry band of characters. I can't wait! And I'd also like to extend my congratulations to your new World 6-Man Tag Team Champions.

MADDIX
Thank you... uh, on behalf of them.

MONEYMAKER
Of course. And now all that is said, I'd also like to thank you for providing me with another enjoyable moment last week. I was especially glad to hear that Krista Isadora Duncan got such a GREAT reaction while performing for the SWF. Good for her. She needs some happiness in her life right about now. And as your 6-Man Tag Team Titles will attest, it was a case of win-win-win! So, with that in mind...

Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, Moneymaker pulls out a BIG wad of cash. Landon's eyebrows peak at the money, only snapping to his senses when Teddy starts to try and count the bills out in his hands.

MADDIX
Woah woah, hang on a se...

MONEYMAKER
I can't thank you enough for how smoothly everything went. Like you said, I love it when a plan comes together!

MADDIX
Listen, I don't kno... (trails off looking at the money)... uh... look, I didn't book Krista for you, I...

MONEYMAKER
Oh I know, I know.

Looking to an also confused Megan, Maddix suddenly fights temptation and quickly pushes the money back into Moneymaker's chest.

MADDIX
With all due respect, Mr. Moneymaker, I don't want Krista to think tha... I mean... look, I didn't have anything to do with what happened last week, right?

MONEYMAKER
Well...

MADDIX
Well? Well nothing, I didn't...

MONEYMAKER
:D

MADDIX
...no... no, TELL THEM!

With Landon pointing out into the now booing crowd, Moneymaker gathers up his money and puts it back in his pocket.

MONEYMAKER
You know, you're right. We'll conduct this piece of business later and somewhere a little more 'private'. See you next week. BWAHAHAHA!

MADDIX
What's so funny? Wait...

Moneymaker turns and takes off again with the money safely back in pocket, leaving Landon bumbling around in the ring trying to explain to everybody that he doesn't have anything to do with... well, anything. His Cucaracha Internacional team-mates all sympathetic ears to his face but as he turns to explain to the next person you can see a little bit of scepticism in their eyes.

MADDIX
Krista, if... if you're watching, I really didn't... I mean, look, I want to work with you again in the future, I'd never...

Realising he's not going to get out of this one any time soon, Landon quickly declares the interview over and gestures for his music to be hit. And as soon as "Megalomaniac" hits he leaves the ring, ushering his team-mates out with him.

COLE
Wow, I'm not quite sure what to think of that. Theodore Moneymaker, I guess wanting to 'reward' Landon Maddix for his part in Krista Isadora Duncan not being in St. Louis last week. But, Landon... I don't know what to think. He certainly wasn't in a rush to take credit for it, that's for sure.

COACH
Can you blame him? Let's face it, Krista's already out for blood, he doesn't want to get caught up in that firestorm.

COLE
Maybe it's me Coach, but I've got a sneaky suspiscion Theodore Moneymaker might have had Cibernetico in mind when he offered up that money, if you know what I mean.

COACH
I... don't.

COLE
Mind-games? With Landon, perhaps?

COACH
Oh... hey, could be. Cibernetico'd be an awful lot easier if Landon were on an IV drip by then.

Cucaracha Internacional head back off through the curtains as we fade to...