OAOAST Syndicated 3/8/08

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Brought to you by American Express

Taped: March 6th, 2007

First air date: March 8th, 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area)

Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan

 

Hey, hey, another delay! Yes, it's OAOAST Syndicated. This aired on Saturday. Honest. And as ever Jesse Ventura and Tony Schiavone were there to call the action for us, featuring The Sooner Bruisers in action, Cuban Wall taking on Deuce Deuce Bigelow and a main-event pitting The Enterprise up against "Tremendous" Tyler of D*LUX and the Syndicated superstars, The Christ Air Express!

 

But first, Syndicated was hijacked by another mainstay Vinny Valentine! The Disco Duck limped sadly to the ring with microphone in hand and demanded that footage of his main-event match last week be replayed. The footage that did play focused specifically on Mister Warrior's total destructicity of Vinny and his precious Studio OAOAST neon sign. "Do you squares realise how much neon glass signs cost nowadays!?" lamented Vinny. Pulling out an inhaler from his glistening silver jacket, Valentine announced that the exposure to lighttube gas and weird pink smoke last week has exacerbated his childhood asthma and prevented him from dancing at his usual dry-ice filled haunts all week. And for that, he promised to make Mister Warrior pay! But fear not, because Vinny vowed that he would be back, like that movie great, Arno... uh, "John Travolta".

 

***Vinny Valentine -VS- Moracca***

Sooner than he expected, as it turned out, as "It's Raining Men" hit and Moracca danced out to the ring. Not even Vinny's breathing condition would stop the referee from calling for the bell and starting the contest as normal. Moracca didn't take long to give Valentine the run around, with an array of armdrags and headscissors, Vinny doing more rotations than a disco ball in the first couple of minutes before buying himself some time with a suspiciously low shot. Valentine put the heavy duty booty on Moracca after that and looked to have the match sewn up after catching Moracca in the centre of the ring with a big Piledriver. But Vinny was forced to stop mid-way up the ropes to take a couple of puffs of his inhaler. That allowed Moracca time to recover and roll out of the way of some Night Fever (Alabama Jam) action! Moracca ran Vinny around the ring with kicks to the backside before picking up the pace with some more aerial attacks. The flaming luchador then caught Vinny in the rear naked choke and started to dry hump him into submission... until Vinny pulled out a quick counter, clotheslining Moracca over the top rope! Vinny then put on his Boogie Shoes (Shining Wizard) and scored the pinfall victory!

 

Winner: Vinny Valentine, via pinfall

 

Vinny's celebrations were not to last though, as the ring began to flood with thick pink smoke! "Black Sweat" hit and MISTER WARRIOR ran out... but Vinny managed to escape, coughing up his lungs as he staggered off to the back. So Warrior proceeded to prove to the world that queering really doesn't make the world work as he plastered Moracca with the Man Event Spinebuster~!!

 

***Cuban Wall -VS- Deuce Deuce Bigelow***

A battle of the bigmen on Syndicated and it was just that, a battle. The 2008 Lethal Rumble winner had the height but Bigelow had the size, meaning Wall had a certain amount of trouble moving his opponent around which seemed to get under his skin. Instead Wall relied on his trusty 'soupbones' (what the hell does that even mean?) throughout the match. The two traded big strikes until a charge in the corner from Bigelow was avoided, sending him thundering shoulder first into the ringpost. Wall focused on the arm for the rest of the match and kept things grounded. He managed to muscle Bigelow up for a Shoulderblock in one impressive show of strength before trying to finish Deuce off with a couple of armbars. Each time Deuce managed to reach the ropes though and eventually he was able to fight his way back into the match. Despite only one arm to fight with Bigelow rallied, with the aid of his head and a few dropkicks for good measure. However, going for a slam to set up the finish, he tweaked his shoulder again and Wall caught him with a quick DDT. A Chokeslam attempt was countered with an Enziguri though, getting Deuce a 2. It was a big boot from Wall blocking a Bigelow charge that signalled the end though. Wall followed that up with the big Chokeslam and then the Lightning Crew Splash to finish Bigelow off.

 

Winner: Cuban Wall, via pinfall

 

With that we went to the HeldDOWN~! recap. LOTS of good stuff this week. A Steel Cage Match with a huge announcement, a new calling for The Synthmeister, Alix and Krista face to face and telling it like it is, PRL getting the best of Stephen Joseph Popick with AngleMania mere weeks away and, hey, there's some sorta Cibernetico next week? That oughta be awesome. For everybody who's not writing it.

 

Another hype video for AngleMania played, this one courtesy of Landon Maddix. "Hey, did you guys know I'm undefeated at AngleMania". Yes, yes. Anyway, Landon was full of high expectations for this year. "I'm going to keep my Goliath like winning streak go... no, wait, Goliath's the one that loses, isn't he? In that case, it'll be a David like winning streak... although, I guess he only won one fight... kinda like me... anyway, the point is..." This humble narrator isn't sure what the point is, or why the OAOAST production team chose to include all of this rambling in the final cut of the hype video over the top of clips of Landon's major accomplishments in the OAOAST. But they did. And the video ended with Landon simply saying he was gonna win again at AngleMania, "the biggest show in the world... besides SWF Genesis..."

 

***The Sooner Bruisers -VS- Los Conquistadors***

A simple showcase for the 2008 Anderson Cup runners-up. Looking to take out their frustrations, Uber and Big Frank ran clean through the hapless Conquistadors in a rematch every bit as one-sided as at The New Year's Spectacular. Uber and Frank pounded the Mexicans with simple forearms and punches before having their fun, throwing them around the ring with a variety of suplexes. A couple of Soonerlines later and the Conquistadors were ready to be put out of their misery. Uber tossed Uno to the outside with a painful landing while Frank spiked Dos into the canvas with the Frankensteiner!! Three seconds later and it was over.

 

Winners: The Sooner Bruisers, via pinfall

 

 

Hey, we've got a PPV coming up, did ya know that?

 

OAOAST ANGLEMANIA VII

Look up swagnificent in the dictionary and... well, it won't be there

 

~OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship~

Stephen Joseph Popick © -vs- Tha Puerto Rican

 

~First Time Ever!~

Krista Isadora Duncan -vs- Alix Maria Spezia

 

~One On One Grudge Match~

Zack Malibu -vs- Bohemoth

 

~OAOAST Heartland Championship~

Sandman9000 © -vs- Alfdogg

 

~OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Championships~

The Heavenly Rockers © -vs- Team Heyross

 

~Stairway To Oblivion II~

James "Lunar Pheonix" Cone -vs- Jester

 

AND MORE...

 

#~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~#

22 DAYS TO GO!! (as of original airdate)

 

 

***The Beverly Hills Blonds and CPA w/Molly Nerdly -VS- The Christ Air Express and Tyler Bryant***

The Beverly Hills Blonds/Christ Air Express rivalry continued on in Syndicated's MAIN EVENT~! This week The Blonds were backed up by The Enterprise's Head Of Security and they weren't about to take that for granted as CPA started the match. MARV, MEL and Tyler all had their turns trying their luck against CPA and all of them failed miserably, which left The Blonds beaming from ear to ear over in the corner. Their mood was only dampened when The Christ Air Express and Tyler triple-teamed CPA, their combined efforts knocking him off his feet and clearing the ring of The Blonds too. Ned came in to try and play the ring general once The Enterprise recollected themselves. That didn't turn out too well. At least not until Simon came to the rescue, Ned enduring some patented double-team work from The Christ Air Express before Simon caught MARV with a knee from the ring apron. The former 6-Man Tag Team Champions then isolated MARV in their corner, with CPA doing most of the damage and The BHB attempting to finish him off. MARV hung in despite the punishment and even kicked out from the Double Feature Flapjack. After a barrage of punches from CPA though MARV was back in trouble and The Blonds looked to finish him off with the Rocket Launcher. But MARV got the heck out of the way and got the tag to "Tremendous" Tyler! The boybander took it to The Enterprise fighting for Jade Rodez's honour, even getting a shot or two in on CPA in the process. As soon as Tyler's fight was snuffed out MEL then came in and chaos ensued with all six men in the ring doing battle. MARV and MEL took out Ned and Simon with stereo dives while Tyler was confronted by Molly Nerdly on the apron. But Molly's interference didn't pay off as it distracted the referee from THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS's arrival! The former World Tag Champions went to work on CPA and their barrage of Texan punches send CPA off to the back fighting for survival against two on one odds. All of which leaving The Blonds against three on two odds back in the ring. Without CPA there to help, The Blonds quickly succumbed to their opponents. MARV and MEL blitzed through them before Tyler finished off Singleton with The Idoliser (TKO)!

 

Winners: The Christ Air Express and Tyler Bryant, via pinfall

 

The Christ Air Express and Tyler celebrated as Syndicated went off the air.

Edited March 10, 2008 by King Cucaracha