King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2008 COLE Last week we were scheduled to see The Love Doctors in action against The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, but unfortunately, circumstances beyond our control lead to that match being postponed. During HeldDOWN~! last week, one of our wrestlers Biff Atlas had an unfortunate accident, tripping over a television cable and knocking himself temporarily unconscious. Luckily Windy City's finest, Dr. Anderson and Dr. Pigley, were on hand to tend to Atlas and thankfully he was released from a local Denver hospital on Friday evening after undergoing routine brain-scans. So The Docs missed out on their match last week, but they'll get their shot here tonight in Fresno instead. With that said, let's go to the ring. [COLOR=red]*WHIIIR!* *WHIIIR!*[/COLOR] "Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you" The sirens sound off as The Love Doctors bound out onto the stage, answering the emergency call of OAOAST officials who realised most guys on the AngleMania card aren't going to be wrestling tonight! The Docs whip the females of Fresno into a frenzy as they pull off their lab-coats before heading to the ring. Dr. Pigley isn't the object of as much desire however, as he covers his heart winning abs with a t-shirt plugging his new radio show, The Love Line. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, from Chicago, Illinois... at a total combined weight of four hundred and thirty six pounds... DR. MAX ANDERSON and DR. STEVEN PIGLEY... THE LLLOOOOOOOOOVVEEEEEE DDOOOOOOOOOCCTTOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE All of our great fans in the Chicago area, you can catch Dr. Pigley on your local radio, as he provides the cure for your relationship issues. That's The Love Line, every Wednesday at 7! COACH You are such a shill. COLE Nothing wrong with giving one of our great OAOAST superstars a mention now and then for their work outside the ring. Besides, I'm just reading what's in front of me. I've no stake in it. COACH That's why you've been wearing the same t-shirt as Pigley all night? Inopportunely, Pigley chooses this moment to point out the shirt and give Cole a thumbs up. Cue much stammering, while the soothing sounds of "Easy Lover" begin to play out through the arena. Out through the entrance swaggers Rico de Janeiro with Lucius Soul trailing behind, fluffing up his 'fro with real determination. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" BUFFER And the opponents. Total combined weight, four hundred and thirteen pounds. The team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MAAARRRRRRDDIIIIIIII GGRRRRRAAAAAAAASSSSSSS HHOOOOOOMMMEEEWRECKING CCRRRREEEEEEWWWWWWWW-!!! Lucius slides into the ring, squaring up with The Docs. Lagging behind, Rico takes a moment to pick out a couple of female fans and shows off his trademark porn 'stache. COLE These two teams met in the first round of this year's Anderson Cup where The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew eeked out the victory. So The Docs will be out for some revenge in this one. COACH Well Rico and Lucius, they've got something to prove as well. I heard somebody earlier, they had the nerve to say that win was an upset. An [i]upset[/i]. Against The Love Doctors! *DINGDINGDING!* With Rico still attempting to the woo the ladies, that leaves Lucius to kick it off with Dr. Pigley. Lucius talks some smack by way of an introduction, which goads Pigley into booting him in the gut! Pigley then unloads with some forearms before whipping Lucius off the ropes, scooping him up on the rebound and jarring him with an inverted atomic drop. Sneaking into the ring, Anderson then follows up with the dropkick to the face! COLE Lovematic Grampa, right off the bat! COACH One in, one out. This isn't a radio show, no co-anchors. COLE *sighs* If only... The Docs quickly scoop Lucius back up again, delivering chops from either side. They then shoot him off the ropes, putting him up and down with a Double Flapjack! Cover by Pigley, as Anderson retreats from the 5 count... 1... 2... No! Reacting late to his partner's troubles, Rico finally takes his eyes off the ladies and runs into the ring. The Love Doctors duck a double clothesline however and as he turns around, Pigley finally gets a free second and pulls off his t-shirt. [i]"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"[/i] COACH Woah, did this table just shift? COLE :unsure: Grinning under his greasy moustache, Rico looks down at the Mardi Gras beads in his hand and tosses them to Pigley. After all, them's the rules. As Rico disturbingly strokes at the porn 'stache and Pigley wonders what the hell's going on, Dr. Anderson thankfully puts him down with a Lariat. COLE Further questions raised on this edition of HeldDOWN~! Out of the ring rolls Rico, leaving referee Brian Hebner to put Dr. Anderson out. But that distraction allows Lucius to get a quick cheapshot in behind the back, catching Pigley in the throat with a shot as he tries to pull him up. Pigley drops the beads and Lucius snatches them up, wrapping them around the throat and consealing the choke with his arm! By the time the referee turns around, all he sees is a harmless chinlock, unaware of the beads around the windpipe underneath! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on referee, get in there! Look at Pigley struggling for breath, it's obvious that's no regular chinlock! Pigley sinks down in the chinlock, the referee still unaware of the secret behind the chinlock's potency. And after a little distraction from Rico, Lucius manages to get the beads off the throat and out of the ring, making a cover on the lifeless Love Doctor... 1... 2... NO! Lucius tags out to Rico, who's able to measure a still breathless Pigley. A hard boot to the head keeps Pigley off the canvas. Rico then backs to the ropes, dropping the Porno 'Stache Legdrop and stroking the facial hair down all through the count... 1... 2... No! In comes Lucius to protest the count... allowing Rico to unravel his green wristtape and choke Pigley with it! Dr. Anderson tries to come in and help his partner, but is cut off by Hebner thanks to good timing on Soul's part. COLE And now again with the choke! This is ridiculous! COACH All I know is, every wannabee DJ in the Chicago land area is beaming right about now. Much more damage to the throat and I smell a relationship expert vacancy in tommorrow's job section. As Anderson is put to the outside, Rico quickly stashes the tape in his tights and waits for Hebner to turn around, before covering Pigley again... 1... 2... Kickout! Dragging Pigley into the wrong part of town, Rico tags Lucius back in. Hooking up the legs, Rico then waits for his partner to get into position, before falling backwards and slingshotting Pigley towards him... right into a Bicycle Kick!! Rico dusts his hands with satisfaction, while Lucius hooks a leg... 1... 2... SAVE BY ANDERSON! COACH Who even listens to the radio nowadays anyway? COLE Is now really the time to discuss that? As Anderson is again put out, Rico and Lucius try to take advantage by double-teaming Pigley. Sending him into the corner with a double whip, Rico then charges in with a clothesline, followed up by Lucius who throws a Yakuza Kick... but Pigley MOVES! Luckily for Lucius his foot hits the top turnbuckle pad and he's quickly back with Rico trying to cut Pigley off with a double clothesline. Tumbling underneath though, Pigley exits the ring on the aisle side. Lucius follows out after him, but Pigley slides right back in, scurrying through Rico's legs and MAKING THE TAG! COLE Here comes Dr. Anderson! COACH Insert lame pager joke here. Anderson comes in swinging, dropping Rico and Lucius with right hands, stopping only to fire up the Fresno crowd behind him. An irish whip sends Rico off the ropes, Anderson ducking his head looking for a backdrop. Rico puts on the brakes and lands with a kick. But as he then hits the ropes, Anderson follows a step behind and cracks him with an elbow right as he bounces off them! Lucius then runs into a right hand, Anderson continuing to take the fight to him... ...while, to the confusion of everyone, BIFF ATLAS can be seen walking around the ring. COLE What the hell is this? As the action continues in the ring, Biff rounds the ring, holding in his hand a bunch of [b]cable-ties[/b]. He sternly tells Michael Buffer to 'step aside' before rummaging under the timekeeper's table, attaching his cable-ties to the cords lying around ringside. Biff then heads over to Sofa Central and starts rummaging under the announce table, turfing Cole and Coach out of their seats in the process. COLE Wha... what the hell are you doing!? BIFF Things have gotta be safer around here. Look at all these wires, this is an accident waiting to happen, I... COLE We're trying to call a match here for crying out loud. COACH Speak for yourself. BIFF Look, don't mind me, I'm just trying to make a better working environment out here. COLE Uh... in the ring, Anderson with a side headlock, shot off the ropes... Anderson underneath, look out here... HEY! Cole's monitor abruptly goes black, just as Anderson completes his headscissors takeover in the ring, sending Lucius spilling to the floor. Rico then tries to jump Anderson from behind, but finds himself backdropped up and over the top. COLE Would you get out of here already!! BIFF Not until the area has been made safe. You'll thank me when you're not laid up at home in a neckbrace... and you really need beverage holders for those coffee cups, one slip of the hand and... COLE Do you realise how many hundreds of shows we've done without tripping over these wires!? BIFF That's a pretty careless attitude to have Michael Cole. I mean, look at this table, it's set all wrong... here, lemme just... Cole and Coach are not the only ones distracted by all this commotion and they make that point, as Biff steps around the front of the announce table, trying to straighten it up. Meanwhile, in the ring, Dr. Anderson is on the move. Hitting the ropes, he launches himself through the top and middle AND WIPES OUT LUCIUS, RICO AND BIFF WITH ONE FAIR TOPÉ CON HÍLO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH AH! COLE What!? COACH Biff was right, there's coffee everywhere! COLE Oh just get a towel or something. Jesus. Anderson quickly throws Lucius back inside, following him in and looking for an irish whip. With a twist of the hips Lucius manages to spin out in front, lifting Anderson up onto the shoulders for the Fro 2 Sleep... NO! Anderson slides down the back and shoves Lucius in the back. Rebounding off the ropes, Lucius ducks underneath and clothesline and comes roaring back... but he gets caught and PLANTED with the Anderson Spinebuster!! COLE Double A style, right in the centre of the ring! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* Back in slides Pigley and The Love Doctors embrace in celebration, as on the outside Rico looks up from the floor and holds his head in his hands. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... THE LLOOOOOOOVVEEEE DDOOOOOCCTTOOOOORRRRSSSSSS!!! COLE A big win for The Docs here on HeldDOWN~!... and thankfully, Biff Atlas's general haplessness didn't prevent them from getting the victory for a second week in a row. COACH Hey, the guy was just trying to do as a favour. COLE Coach, he cable-tied your shoelace to our monitor cable. As Coach looks down and ponders how he's going to get out of this one, Biff pulls himself up. Holding his head he looks into the ring and glares at The Love Doctors' celebration, marching off towards the back, making extra sure he doesn't trip or slip on any upturned parts of the ringside mats on his way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
