Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 29, 2008 (edited) Brought to you by American Express Taped: March 13th, 2008 Aired: March 29 (check local listings) Hosted by: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Announce team: Maggie Nerdly and Tony Brannigan?!? Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan The final OAOAST show before the Teenager Father of Them All opened with “Hooray for Hollywood” accompanying a brief montage featuring some of L.A.'s well known landmarks (Hollywood sign, Walk of Fame, Mann Chinese Theater, etc). Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura then welcome us aboard a double decker bus dubbed the AngleMania Express on their way to the site of AngleMania VII, the LA Memorial Coliseum. We’re quickly reminded AngleMania is “only hours away” and urged to contact our cable/satellite provider to order now if yet to do so, prompting Jesse to quip, “You mean there are such people?” Indeed they are, Jesse. Indeed they are. The guys finished up by hyping today's card, including Zack Malibu in action and Logan Mann of the Heavenly Rockers vs. Quentin Benjamin of Team Heyross in our feature bout. ***Bohemoth-VS- Dennis Huckleberry*** The 270+ pound redneck was no match for the Metrosexual Monster, who only needed 30 seconds to put his opponent away with the Erotic Awakening of B as Zack Malibu observed backstage in a bout lifted from the little known syndicated B-show OAOAST Pro Wrestling (as the entire in ring portion of the show was due to Tony and Jesse being on location). Thankfully additional voice-over work was done by Maggie Nerdly and Tony Brannigan, who surprisingly aren't that bad, for the sake of continuity. Winner: Bohemoth, via pinfall FROM THE GOSSIP HEARD ON THE OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE, HOT HOT HOT... HOT NEWZ~! It was back to Tony and Jesse aboard the AM Express for this week's Hot Newz segment focusing on the feud between former partners Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan. Referring to Hollywood as his town, Jesse notes the media frenzy surrounding this bout. “Nobody’s even talking about the other matches, and those are big matches, Tony.” This leads to clichéd and often untrue statement of how X and X match could “main event anywhere in the world” from Schiavone, and then late breaking Hot Newz about the parents of Alix petitioning the OAOAST Board of Directors to prevent her from competing at AngleMania and encouraging her to enter a rehabilitation center (guess you can‘t say drug on syndicated TV). Then a special video look chronicling the rise and fall of COD set to Love Hurts by Nazareth. “What is this, 1978?” Another reason why Jesse is the best in the business. #~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~# THIS WEEKEND!! ***Lone Star Gunslingers w/Melody Nerdly & Christ Air Express-VS- Los Conquistadors, Scottish Scott and Danny Boy*** Looking to enter AngleMania with some momentum on their side, the Lone Star Gunslingers tagged with their AM teammates the Christ Air Express to earn a trip back to the pay window in. Having learned their lesson this past Thursday, Jock and Baron were once again on the same page and it showed as they delivered their best performance in over a month. Los Conquistadors were the unfortunate recipients of the Gunslingers brand of justice, getting nailed with every big move in their arsenal before Dos was put away with the Lone Star Lasso. Winners: Lone Star Gunslingers & Christ Air Express, via pinfall (3:17) Alix Maria Spezia's cover of "Californication" welcomed us to the AngleMania VII Control Center with host Macho Man Randy Savage featuring sound bites from various competitors. ~OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship~ Stephen Joseph Popick © -vs- Tha Puerto Rican ~First Time Ever: COD Explode!~ Krista Isadora Duncan -vs- Alix Maria Spezia We hear from Krista in front of a grey background. KRISTA I can't believe it's gotten this far. Here we are, the weekend of AngleMania, and my worst fear is about to be realized as I'll have to fight the woman I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life. It didn't have to be this way Alix. You didn't have to sell out. Look at what you've not only done to me but our fans as well. I've opened up more the past few months than I ever did when during our time together. So if I can change you can change too. You still have a few more hours to think about it. And Mackenzie, you dirty rotten little [bleep]. if you ever think about sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, you better not worry about breaking a nail but bones! Now the forum belongs to Alix Spezia and Mackenzie DeCenzo. As the Hollywood Bad Girl prepares to speak, Mackie cuts her off. MACKENZIE Allow me, baby. Don't waste your breath on her. She isn't worth. Krista, you're in no position to be making threats. In case you've forgotten, I'm as wealthy as you and have far greater connections. You touch me and your relationship with Alix won't be the only thing over, so will your career! ALIX Look into a mirror, Krista, and you'll see the exterior of a stone cold [bleep] melting! You're starting to crack in front of our very eyes. Pretty soon it'll be L.A.'s finest paying you a visit on a 5150 call. Lucky for you AngleMania is being held in MY hometown. Perhaps we'll show pity and place that call after I run your tush out of the OAOAST forever! ~One On One Grudge Match~ Zack Malibu -vs- Bohemoth ~OAOAST Heartland Championship~ Sandman9000 © -vs- Alfdogg We cut to Sandman9000 "training" for his upcoming match by raising hell in a junkyard. Then over to Alfdogg for his comments. ALFDOGG Sandman, you are without a doubt one of the toughest and sickest individuals to ever set foot in a wrestling ring. But this weekend at AngleMania VII you're stepping in there with the man who has held the Heartland title on more occasions than anyone else and a two-time World Champion to boot. Your style of wrestling doesn't intimidate me one bit. If it's blood and guts you want, then it's what you'll get at AngleMania. ~OAOAST One And Only World Tag Team Championships~ The Heavenly Rockers © -vs- Team Heyross ~Stairway To Oblivion II~ James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone -vs- Jester ~8-Man Tag Mayhem~ The Enterprise vs. The Lone Star Gunslingers & Christ Air Express ~Cool Off Match~ Vinny Valentine vs. Mister WARRIOR VINNY Quack Quack! The Disco Duck has stepped over the velvet rope and into the TV studio to lay down the truth on you phony squares. Here's the skinny on that Anglemania beat, baby! I know what you gotta be thinking, “Hey Vin man your sexy to max for sure! A hip cat like you has got be jivin all day in the city of night! You need to be laying your boogie shoes down with the biggest c-lebs, Scott Baio, Mario Lopez, Scott Bakula. Real A List type of cats and catettes. Not laying them boogie shoes on WARRIOR's chumped out face.” Wrong! That spaz WARRIOR has been bogus to the max and put a serious cramp on the disco duck style I drive the tasties up the wall with. The disco ball on a pole match was gonna be my crowning moment, my staying alive, my Macho Man, and then WARRIOR came out from that crazy smoke and wrecked the whole scene. Ever since then he's been houndin the disco duck itchin for a fight. WARRIOR if its a fight you want, its a BUTT kicking you're gonna get! 'Cause the disco duck knows how to get awwww sooky sooky now! We see MISTER WARRIOR on the beaches of Hawaii beneath him lies the bloodied bodies of six deceased sharks, which we're supposed to assume he killed with his bare hands. WARRIOR Vinny Valentine I kill in cold blood for the sweet smell of your burning corpse in monument in the village square of One Rainbow Warrior Nation, and you innards feasted on by the loyal subjects of the land! Wonder to your brain stem, child of man, how can you prepare for the forecasted tsunami of murder your lies and indirections have conjured? Should you climb the highest mountain and let the flock of bald eagles devour your eyeballs? Should you go into the deepest jungles of the Amazon and be speared through the intestines by the jungle tribe? Should you crawl through the deserts of Egypt until the vultures disguised as sin and gluttony chew your flesh from bone? No Vinny Valentine! All hope is lost when the mothership leaps into warp drive and from an escape battle shuttle MISTER WARRIOR burns through the atmosphere to do the justice of the abnormals! Justice of the winds! Justice of the earth! Justice of the fire! Justice of the Ice! Justice of the fifth intangible element that binds all the chosen children to the embers of fate! As I stood in the death embrace of gods, the overseeing truths of the One Rainbow Warrior Nation, they gave the noose to hang the unchosen children and prophized this message, up, down, left, right, there is no direction to hide the disco duck from the mothership's ultimate weapon, MISTER WARRIOR. Following the break it was the HeldDOWN~! recap. With only 3 days to go till AngleMania a ton of stuff went down. Stuff I'd share had I read the show, but it was late! ***The Enterprise w/CPA-VS- The All-American Boys & Los Diablos de Fuego*** Perhaps looking ahead to their 8-man showdown at AngleMania, the Enterprise found themselves in a battle early but ultimately prevailed over Borders Without Fences in 4:36 after Freedom was locked in the Bank Vault (pretty clever I know). Simon Singleton was the MVP of the match, bumping around like crazy for the AABs and Los Diablos. The turning point came when Ned Blanchard reversed an Irish whip and Christian Wright drove a knee into the small of Freedom’s back. Theodore Moneymaker only entered once the damage was done, proving once again why he's the successful business man that he is. Let somebody else do the hard work and reap the reward. Winners: The Enterprise, via submission After the replay it was straight to Abdullah Nerdly's HOUSE OF WORSHIP. This week’s guests were none other than "the most powerful couple in the world today," One & Only Undisputed World Champion Stephen Joseph and his wife Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez-Popick. "The One & Only Champ is here!" boasted SJP, who laid the verbal smackdown -- same stuff we've heard for weeks on HD -- on his former best friend that included a crack from Lindsay about her ex-fiance's stamina. #~OAOAST presents ANGLEMANIA VII~# IN CASE YOU FORGOT, IT'S THIS WEEKEND!! ***Quentin Benjamin-VS- Logan “Macho MACHO” Mann*** Our feature bout of the week started as a wrestling match but degenerated into a brawl that resulted in a double disqualification after both men's respective partners got involved. Logan Mann tried to silent critics who say the Heavenly Rockers aren't gifted technical wrestlers by grappling with Quentin Benjamin to start, but all he did was prove them right as the decorated All-American wrestled circles around him. The Macho MACHO Mann then went to plan B and eventually all hell broke loose as neither side was afraid to bend the rules. Synth fired the first shot, placing Logan's foot on the bottom rope after Benjamin thought he had the match won with the Exploder Suplex. But the real fireworks came when Charlie Moss held onto his partner as Logan went for the DDT. Quentin fell on top for the cover, but Synth yanked the referee out and leveled by a forearm shot from Moss. Both men began to brawl outside, though it was only a matter of time before the action spilled into the ring, leaving the referee no other choice but to call for the bell as all four men continued to fight. Official Decision: Double DQ (8:47) ANGLEMANIA MOMENT: Zack Malibu defeats Anglesault for the OAOAST Championship at AngleMania II, his first of three title reigns. ***Zack Malibu-VS- Brian Douglas*** Cue "Getting Away With Murder" and the loudest pop in the history of OAOAST Syndicated. As Malibu made his way down the aisle Maggie plugged the current issue of OAOAST The Magazine with Zack Malibu and family on the cover and his match at AngleMania with Bohemoth. Unlike Zack earlier, Bo chose to watch Zack up close ringside. That only caused the Franchise to step up his game and score the 1-2-3 with School's Out in 29 seconds, which he was quick to let Bo know about since it was second under his time. Cool as ever, Bo stands pat, smirking at the man he’ll meet this weekend at the teenager father of them all, AngleMania. Winner: Zack Malibu, via pinfall PROMOTIONAL CONSIDERATION PAID FOR BY THE FOLLOWING: Gillette-The Best a Man Can Get Beauty Crush, Alix Maria Spezia's debut CD As the AngleMania Express pulled up in front of the LA Memorial Coliseum, Tony and Jesse gave us their final thoughts, with Schiavone promising it'll be the greatest night in the history of our sport, before tossing it back to Tony Brannigan inside the area for a podium interview with Tha Puerto Rican to close the show. PR goes over his journey one last time before guaran-damn-teeing the millions...and MILLIONS...of his fans that once the smoke clears and the dust settles, 100,000 people will be standing in unison as his hand is rased in victory. The champion. Finally. Edited March 31, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
