HD: Jade/Maggie vs. Mackenzie/Molly

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Up next, the ladies of the OAOAST will be in action. Mackenzie DeCenzo, who we saw last week brutally put a beating to Jade Rodez, demanded a rematch in a 'seething rage' after AngleMania VII where she was paid back in kind by Jade. However, not a one on one match this week, as the Women's Champion and our broadcast colleague Maggie Nerdly will see action, as will her sister Molly!

COACH
First of all, I've never heard Maggie call you her 'colleague'. And I boldly predict we never will. Second, I don't blame Mackenzie one bit. She was humilated in front of thousands of people in her hometown, her friends, her family...

COLE
Her maids.

COACH
...her butlers, everybody! It was supposed to be the finest night of her refined life and thanks to Krista and her demon offspring it turned into a wretched nightmare! Well if Jade thought the beating Mackie dished out last week was something, wait till you see what's gonna happen tonight. Once it's over, Jade's gonna be so beat up, her own mother wouldn't recognised her. Oh... wait, nevermind! HAHAHA!

COLE
You're a sick sick man and sadly I doubt that's the last time I'll be saying that during the course of this one. Let's send it up to the ring.



Walking arm in arm down the red carpet, the women of The Enterprise are bathed in the light of flashbulbs from the numerous photographers around them. Under her left arm, Molly carries the Siclopse to the ring, muttering to herself criticisms of the clichéd photographic methods being used around her. In her khaki pants and powder blue polo shirt, Molly looks noticeably under-dressed compared to her tag team partner. Beside her Mackenzie wears a typically empowering looking business suit to the ring, but shows some consideration to the fact she's going to be competing tonight by swapping the skirt for a very formal pair of short pants, clearly tailored from an expensive suit themselves. I would say she means business, but such shameless puns are below me. The duo get past the cameras and Molly sets up The Siclopse in position outside the ring, while Mackenzie tells Michael Buffer something in no uncertain terms.

BUFFER
The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, they represent THE ENTERPRISE! First, fighting out of the Tisch School of Arts at New York University... she is the 2005 and 2006 Canadian documentary filmmaker of the year... MMMOOOOOOLLLLYYYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!! And her tag team partner. From Los Angeles, California... "definately NOT San Diego"... but Los Angeles, California... she is the Chief Financial Officer of The Enterprise and a former OAOAST 24/7 Champion...

(World = much lolz!)

BUFFER
...she is MAAACCKKEEEENNZZIIIIEEEEEEEE... DDEEEE-CCEEEEEENNZZZZZZOOOOOOO!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Mackenzie makes the mistake of posing after her name is called, earning her a louder chorus of boos than even usual. Siclopse all set up, Molly joins her in the ring and together The Enterprise women make a big show of 'warming up' for their match as if they do so every week.

COLE
Molly Nerdly, the unpaid intern of The Enterprise and I guess her clothing budget speaks volumes for that fact.

COACH
I'll have you know that's the clothing ensemble of choice for all budding film students. Why? Because Molly wears it and she's the queen of all at Tits School Of Arts!

COLE
Uh... that would be 'Tisch'.

COACH
That's what I said. Besides, who are you to question anybody's clothing choice, Queer Eye?

Already looking pretty bitter, Mackenzie's mood drops even deeper into the gutter as "Date With The Night" by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's hits. The San Diego crowd erupt with Yeah Yeah Yeahs of their own for Jade Rodez as she marches out, eyes scowling and locked on Mackenzie from the entrance way.

BUFFER
And the opponents. First, from Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJJAAAAAAAADDEEEEE... RRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZ!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Now, you wanna talk about clothing, why does Jade choose to do her laundry right before every HeldDOWN~! and realise the only clothes she's got left is that tracksuit? Answer me that. You'd think considering her mommy changes her entire wardrobe every week, she'd be able to pass on some old hand-me-downs. Or is even that too much for Neglectant Mother Of The Year Krista Isadora Duncan?

Jade marches down the aisle but stops short of actually getting in the ring at a two on one dis-advantage. Green and gold lights suddenly begin to flash at the sight of the entry way, while pillars of smoke spring forth from around the chaotic illumination. "Crushcrushcrush" by Paramore begins to play as Maggie Nerdly skips out from the back and flashes the famous Nerdly RAWK~! Hand signal to the adoring crowd, before showing off the Women's Championship around her waist. As she makes her way down the ramp she slaps hands with the eager fans and slaps Jade on the back, kinda mis-judging her serious mood as she flashes her some RAWK~!

BUFFER
And her tag team partner. From Edmonton, Alberta Canada... she is the 'bitchin' host of the Afterparty on OAOAST.com and the reigning OAOAST Women's Champion... a member of the fighting Nerdly family, MMMAAAAAAAGGIIIIIIEEEEEEE... NNEEEEEERRRDDLLLLYYYYYYY!!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Did Michael Buffer really just say "bitchin'"?

COACH
Sure. Crazy cracka says it all the time.

Entering the ring, Maggie stands in the centre and points her bouquet of flowers to each individual turnbuckle. As her floral arrangement is directed to each corner, a tower of green pyro explodes from it's top turnbuckle, watched unimpressed by Molly and Mackenzie on the outside. Once that's complete, Maggie tosses her bouquet behind her back and into the audience, replacing it in her hands with the Women's Championship which shows throws up over her head, along with another handful of RAWK~!

COLE
Maggie Nerdly, Women's Champion! And of course, the current girlfriend of Leon Rodez, who just happens to be her tag team partner's broth... uh, [i]uncle[/i]. Sorry, force of habit. The OAOAST is one crazy family tree nowadays Coach.

The Women's Title is passed to the timekeeper's table and we're ready to go as Jade makes it clear she's going to start for her team. No problem with that, Maggie kicks it out on the apron. Mackenzie and Molly have a little more conversation on their side before deciding on who'll start for them, Mackenzie pulling rank to get her hands on Jade.


*DINGDINGDING!*

As she enters the ring, Mackie's mouth starts running immediately as she proceeds to call poor Jade every name under the sun. Jade just looks on with a scowl, until finally she's taken enough and thumps Mackenzie across the jaw with an elbow smash! Another! And another! And yet another! Mackenzie reaches out and grabs Jade's hair to stop her strikes. But Jade grabs her own handfuls of hair and the two women tussle around for a bit in a mini cat-fight, before releasing each other with a shove. For a second they both rub their heads in pain, before going right back at each other. Jade telegraphs her lunge though and Mackenzie ducks underneath her out-stretched arms, kneeing Jade in the kidneys to drop her.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

COACH
That's smarts. I think Mackie proved last week she's pretty capable when it comes to stepping into the ring. Jade's still at the 'playground scrap' level and with someone as smart as Mackenzie it's just not going to work.

Grabbing a handful of hair again, Mackie insults Jade some more before throwing her face-first down into the mat. Jade pushes back up, so Mackie throws her right back down again, ignoring the warnings about hairpulls from the referee.

"MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!"
"MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!"
"MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!"
"MA - CKEN - ZIE SUCKS!"

Angered at the chants Mackenzie screams out loud that she infact doesn't suck, which may well be true but let's not go there. With the illegitimate Duncan daughter on her knees in front of her, Mackie yanks Jade's head backwards into some hard right hands. She then drags Jade to her feet and leans her back, across an outstretched knee. With a hand across the jaw and one on the leg she then bends Jade into a backbreaker and pushes down to screams of pain.

COLE
Mackenzie just trying to make an example out of Jade right here. As much as she's enjoying hurting Jade like this, I'm sure part of her is wishing this was Krista as well.

COACH
Hey, it's the next best thing, her little secret daughter. Win-win.

Maggie's reaction of "woah, harsh!" from the apron doesn't do much to help her tag team partner as she's bent in ways the body shouldn't be bent. Jade refuses to give in just yet though.

"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"

Before she can draw on the support of the San Diego crowd, Jade takes a shot to her exposed midsection. And another. Mackenzie then pushes down again looking for the submission, or just to torture Jade some more, who knows. Seeing enough, Maggie finally enters the ring to try and help out. Unfortunately, Mackie quickly warns the referee and he cuts Maggie off, allowing Molly to sneak into the ring. Up to the middle rope she goes as Mackenzie turns herself back to her own corner. Molly seems a little unsure on the ropes at first, but gets her footing and drops a big elbow to the chest of Jade, dumping her off of Mackenzie's knee!

COLE
Jade Rodez just got demolished!

Out ducks Molly, as Mackenzie makes the cover...


1...






2...






NO!

COLE
A lot of fight in that young woman however. It's in her genes, after all.

Mackenzie drags Jade to her feet, shoving her into the Enterprise corner and making the tag to Molly. Out of the ring steps Mackie legally, but not so legal is the handful of the tracksuit pants she holds onto to keep Jade stuck in the corner. Molly meanwhile backs across the ring and comes charging, crushing Jade in the corner with her Box-office Bust!! Let go, Jade slumps to the canvas again as Molly rolls up the sleeves on her polo shirt to show she means business.

COLE
Even in a match she's participating in, Mackenzie can't help but lend a hand from the outside.

COACH
She's a very pro-active woman. She ain't one of those raise the kids, wash the dishes, make the samm'iches kinda bitches, she's an indipendent woman, a fine sister doin' it for herself. You have to respect that.

Pulled to her feet, Jade is whipped off the ropes by Molly who then telegraphs a back elbow. Badly. Underneath goes Jade, Molly thinking quickly and looking to cut her off with a clothesline. Again Jade is able to duck underneath though and comes back off the ropes with a desperation crossbody...

COLE
Could have her!


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2...





Kickout!

Realising she needs to make a tag, Jade rushes for her corner...



...and gets SPEARED down by Molly!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jade goes down holding her ribs, Molly earning warm applause from the outside from Mackenzie before being ordered to stay on her opponent. Quickly, the unpaid intern pulls Jade back to her feet and scoops her up, carrying her into the centre of the ring and dropping her with a side slam.

COLE
Nice execution from Molly. I have to say, I'm quite surprised with Molly thus far, we haven't had any indication that she's much of a professional wrestler up until now but she's holding her own okay.

COACH
What are you talking about? She's already 1-0 this year!

COLE
What?

COACH
She beat Rescue 911, remember!

COLE
Oh! You mean when Alix Maria Spezia did all the work and Molly just stood there dumbly wondering what it takes to become a [i]paid[/i] intern?

COACH
That's not how I remember it.

Tag is made, bringing Mackenzie DeCenzo back into the match. Able to take her sweet time about following up Mackenzie takes a moment to mock the fans for getting behind Jade, reminding them that she's the one flat on her back crying in pain. The San Diego natives don't seem to care though and continue to show their support. Mackie pulls Jade back to her feet and hangs her over the turnbuckles facing out into her supporters. Taking a step back, Mackenzie then plows forward and drives her shoulder into Jade's lower back!

COACH
That's called the Tramp Stamp, Michael. Very appropriate for our women's division.

Flicking her hair back, Mackie smiles an evil smile as he measures Jade up again. After a few words exchanging with Maggie, Mackenzie then charges in again... AND RUNS HERSELF SHOULDER-FIRST INTO THE RINGPOST!!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
:O

COLE
JADE GOT OUT OF THE WAY!

Molly looks on horrified as Mackenzie's arm wraps around the steel post with a thud, already working out in her head how to cut around that footage later. Falling out of the corner Mackie clutches her shoulder and now it's a race to the corner, as both Mackie and Jade look to get the tag to their Nerdly sister of choice. Molly routes Mackenzie on, Maggie still chillin' like an ill'un on the outside but ready for the tag all the same.

"MA - GGIE!"
"MA - GGIE!"
"MA - GGIE!"
"MA - GGIE!"

Maggie gets behind Maggie by getting a "Maggie" chant going.

COLE
Could we be about to see the Nerdly sisters going at it?

Still holding onto her lower back with one hand, Jade's crawl is slow and painful. Mackenzie still nurses her shoulder but is over to her corner first, getting the tag to Molly. But the film student takes a second too long getting in the ring and she JUST misses Jade before she GETS THE TAG!

COLE
YES! We are, as here comes Maggie!

After so many catty remarks in the past Molly now tries to reason with her sister, but to no avail. Maggie drops her with a double leg takedown and bounces the back of Molly's head repeatedly off the canvas, doing a complete 360 of the ring before finally letting Molly go in order to pull her back up. Irish whip by Maggie, leaping up to catch Molly with a spinning heel kick on the way back. Maggie then takes a quick detour, dropkicking Mackenzie as she tries to get back into the ring to help her Enterprise associate out. Jumping back to her feet, the perky announcer lets out a quick rendition of "Never Gonna Give You Up", before RICK ROLL'ING Molly!! Hook of the leg...


1...







2...






Kickout!

The Women's Champion waits for Molly to get back up, leaping up and catching her with a hurricanrana, reaching back and cradling a leg...


1...







2...






SAVE BY MACKENZIE!


But as soon as Mackenzie goes after Maggie again, into shot rushes Jade Rodez to CLUB Mackenzie down with a big Clothesline!!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Back out of the ring rolls, Jade stopped from going out after her by a sudden twinge in her back. Meanwhile, Maggie stays on her sister, scooping her up and slamming her. Off the ropes, Maggie again looks for the Rick Roll. But the element of surprise has gone this time and Molly isn't falling for it again, rolling out of the way! Maggie's body bounces awkwardly off the canvas and she pulls herself up, met by Molly with a diving clothesline. Molly then leaves Maggie behind for a second and runs at Jade... who just spots her out of the corner of her eye, sidestepping and sending Molly running chest first into the turnbuckles. As she turns around, Molly's ample assets are then crushed by a double knee strike in the corner by Rodez!

COLE
Shades of her uncle!

Down goes Jade after that with her back still in agony. Luckily, Maggie is there to take over for her, running at Molly... and stopping short of her sister as she flinches expecting to be crushed again...


[i]"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"[/i]


...but instead Maggie screams RIGHT IN HER EAR!!!

COACH
OW!

COLE
Hey, remember that time we both went to that N*SYNC concert together?

COACH
I do now... unfortunately.

COLE
Yeah. Good times. How's your throat now by the way?

COACH
Oh much better, thanks for asking.

Dis-orientated by the ringing in her ears, Molly staggers out of the corner and a boot sets her up for Happiness Is Edmonton In Your Rearview Mirror... but again Mackenzie appears and with a handful of hair she drags the Women's Champion off of her sister, spins her around and throws her ruthlessly out of the ring! Maggie splats off the ringside mats hard.

COACH
Being Women's Champ isn't all it's cracked up to be, huh Mags?

Jade goes back on the offence, attacking Mackenzie with forearms from behind. But Molly catches her with an axehandle to the back to cut her off before her headache haunts her again. No compassion for that, Mackenzie tells Molly to help her with an irish whip. Together the Enterprise women send Jade off the ropes and duck their heads for backbody drops. Jade manages to put on the brakes, kicking Mackenzie in the chest before grabbing Molly by her khaki pants and throwing her to the outside right out with her sister.

JADE
OVER!

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

COACH
Ugh, how cliché. Where's that DNA test when you need it?

Lining Mackenzie up, Jade aims at her face with the GAMENGIRI...




...NO! Mackenzie blocks it, causing Jade to land awkwardly on her side! She shouts out in pain and grabs her lower back again, perhaps having wrenched a muscle on landing. Mackenzie gives her no time to worry about that though, locking her into a front facelock. Cradling the leg, Mackenzie then lifts Jade up and hovers with her for a second... before driving her down into the canvas with the Fisherman's Buster for the second time in two weeks!

COLE
And that's gonna do it, again.

Cover by Mackenzie...


1...







2...







3!!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

Just pulling herself up on the outside too late, Maggie hangs her head sadly as she realises she's too late to save her friend. Mackenzie pushes up onto her knees and points a finger into the emotionless face of Rodez, letting off a little extra steam before she SLAPS the defenceless girl across the face. Maggie dives in now and chasing Mackenzie off, big grin on her face as she swaggers away on the floor.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of MOLLY NERDLY and MACKENZIE DECENZO... THE ENTERPRISE!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Seriously, is this Jade thing some giant rib that nobody's let The Coach in on yet? You're telling me that's the daughter of Krista Isadora Duncan? Either we all bein' played, or we know the real reason Krista didn't want nothing to do with her. Jade's gotten herself beat two weeks in a row now... Krista hasn't lost a match since the Carter Administration! Let alone two in two weeks! That's poor. Real poor.

Maggie kneels down to check on Jade while Mackenzie waits for Molly to limp over to her and join in the celebrations. The Enterprise women raise their arms victoriously at the foot of the ramp, Mackenzie smiling at the state she's left Jade Rodez in before looking back at Maggie and warning her that she and her Women's Championship might well be next!

COLE
The Enterprise males got the job done at AngleMania. And tonight, it's the Enterprise's females who prove their dominance.