King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted April 9, 2008 When we return to HeldDOWN~!, we find Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix already in the ring with Megan Skye in the background. As usual. MADDIX Ah, thank you, thank you. Mercy! Mercy! (Megan whispers in Landon's ear) ...sorry, [i]merci[/i]. Although I'm sure being French, you're more used to saying 'mercy' nowadays. But, I kid. Tonight I'm not out here to make jokes at France's expense. That task is more than well in hand I'm sure you'll all agree. No, tonight, I'm here to offer one lucky Frenchman the chance to escape all of that. To escape the stereotyping, the mocking, the general shunning of by the rest of the world. Because, tonight, the Cucaracha Internacional European Scouting Tour begins. And tonight, I'm going to offer one local the prize of a spot in Cucaracha Internacional. All they have to do is beat me to earn it. So, with that in mind, let's bring out the man looking to restore national pride here in France! Come on out! Generic French sounding music begins to play as a young kid in blue amateur wrestling gear jogs to the ring, waving cheerily to the French crowd. He slides into the ring, keeping a nervous distance from Landon Maddix as he climbs to his feet. Landon eyes the youngster up a little, sizing up his possible newest recruit. MADDIX Is it wrong that I expected you to cycle to the ring with onions around your neck? COACH :D The kid looks confused, but Landon wasn't really expecting an answer. MADDIX Okay. So, let's get the formalities out of the way first of all. I am, of course, Landon Maddix your prospective boss of Cucaracha Internacional, should you manage to beat me here tonight. And, you are... Landon tilts the microphone towards the kid, who nervously looks out at the fans before speaking. MOREAU Je m'appelle Patrice Moreau... et j'habite รก Paris, en France! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX (pretending to understand) Yeah, uh... that's great. Truly poignant words. For which, I wish you good luck [i]monsteur[/i]. In a show of cultural sportsmanship, Landon offers his hand and the nervous Frenchman finally starts to relax a little as he shakes his opponent's hand... *DINGDINGDING!* ...only to get booted in the gut the moment the bell rings! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Cheapshot from Landon Maddix, sacre bleu! COACH Now come on, he waited for the bell to ring. He was probably just trying to get in before this kid started waving the white flag. The French crowd whistle derisively, as Landon pops Moreau in the cheekbone with a forearm. A second. And then a third. An irish whip then sends the young Frenchman for the ride, Landon leaping up to meet him with a Dropsault on the way back! On one knee, Landon twirls his fingers around a big, fake French moustache with a grin while Moreau holds his chest in pain. COLE There's a man with his finger on the cultural button, right there. Picking Moreau back up, another forearm connects before Landon loads the youngster into the corner. Maddix follows in with a big leaping forearm smash, then makes for the ropes. Out staggers Moreau, right into the path of Landon who snares him around the head with his left arm, swinging himself around the back and bringing him down from the right side with an inverted bulldog! COLE Oh! We saw that move at AngleMania, tremendous speed and athleticism whether you like it or not. With Moreau grabbing the back of his head, Maddix makes a nonchalant cover... 1... 2... ...sits up. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Maddix wags a finger and says that's not it. COLE Come on. COACH Say what you want Michael, but Landon Maddix... he's all about second chances. He's giving Todd Cortez a second chance after all of his misdemeanours in recent weeks and now, giving this poor kid another chance to make something of himself. You have to admire that in a boss. By the hair, Landon drags Moreau up. The Frenchman looks dis-orientated and has no answer for a straight kick to the sternum, knocking him down and against the ring ropes. The referee admonishes Landon for this and threatens to end the match for him. But Landon just tells him to ease up as he helps Moreau back up again. Wringing the arm, he lifts Moreau up into a fireman's carry and picks his spot, before tossing him up and CRACKING him on the way down with the big knee!! COLE Well, it's [i]bonsoir[/i] for this youngster. Landon leans back against the unconscious Frenchman, hands behind head... 1... 2... 3! *DINGDINGDING!* There Landon stays, kicked back and relaxing as Megan climbs into the ring to 'congratulate' him on his 'hard-fought' victory. Helped up by her, Landon shrugs as the crowd show their disapproval. BUFFER Your winner of the match... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there will be no French representative of Cucaracha Internacional in the near future. COACH Thank God. Take ya frog-leg eating ass back where ya came from, punk bitch! COLE Coach... he comes from Paris. Which we're in. COACH Oh, yeah. Sorry, force of habit. The gracious La Cucaracha again shakes the hand of Moreau, albeit this time with him laying unconscious on the canvas at his feet. Landon then takes one last moment to mug for the fans before he and Megan head off with whatever point they were looking to prove tonight proven. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
