Tony149 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2008 The spotlight falls on OAOAST Original TONY BRANNIGAN in his best old school WWF “Mean” Gene Okerlund attire over at the INTERVIEW STAGE. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Chairman and CEO of the Enterprise… THEODORE MONEYMAKER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dressed to the nines in a tailored suit, the Billion Dollar Heir is escorted by CPA as GNR’s [i]Sympathy for the Devil[/i] blares overhead. Brannigan welcomes his cousin with a handshake only to be snubbed. Ever the professional he lets it slide. BRANNIGAN Well Teddy, you asked for interview time. The forum is all yours. MONEYMAKER You got that right, cousin. I asked for time and being an influential TSM stockholder I was granted it ASAP. Now I don’t know whether these foreigners understand the words coming out of my mouth… COLE Listen to this man. He’s the foreigner here. MONEYMAKER …nor do I care because I know the one person who needs to understand will, and that’s the boss himself Anglesault. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH They at least know that name. MONEYMAKER Unless you’ve been living under a rock lately, there‘s an ongoing tournament to determine the #1 contender to the OAOAST Championship. A tournament in which I was not invited to participate. If not for my attorneys there wouldn’t have been any Enterprise representation at all. Even then Anglesault placed conditions on our involvement. One, I couldn’t enter the tournament myself. Two, the Beverly Hills Blonds and I would be BARRED from ringside. Had that ruling not been in effect then I wouldn’t be out here raising a storm because Christian Wright would still in the running for a shot at the title. Instead that morally bankrupt Leon Rodez broke every rule in the book to advance onto the next round. And why? Why did Anglesault ban us last week? He won’t even clarify his ruling. The man is drunk on power. BRANNIGAN Perhaps it has something to do with the rampant speculation on the OAOAST Hot Newzline regarding an alleged blackmail plot to secure the #1 contendership immediately following AngleMania that led to your exclusion? MONEYMAKER I won’t even dignify that with a response. In fact, I ought to hire a private investigator to find whoever started that malicious rumor and sue them for everything they got. People assume my wealth guarantees anything my heart desires. And there’s nothing I desire more than MORE MONEY…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!…and the OAOAST Championship. While it’d be simple for me to offer a generous sum in exchange for the title, it’s long been U.S. policy not to negotiate with terrorists and those who harbor them, i.e. you Anglesault. There’s no good reason why I should’ve been excluded from this tournament. You’ve gone and pissed off the one man who can take everything you hold dear. But your fate hasn’t been signed, sealed and delivered just yet. All you gotta do is CANCEL this tournament and AWARD ME the title shot at School‘s Out. In case you and your nickel and dime fans still don’t understand, I’ve hired a couple of celebrities not passed their prime to help, the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of ALL TIME, Logan Usher Mann and Synth Abdul-Jabbar, the HEAVENLY ROCKERS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Stage hands wheel out a set of DRUMS as the Heavenly Rockers take their places onstage. Synth behind the drums, Holly on guitar, Logan in front of the mic and Colonel Abdullah counting the wad of cash paid for the group‘s services. LOGAN Are you ready to rock? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SYNTH Foreign dudes, ya’ll ready to roll? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" HOLLY You assholes ready for me to step on your pubes and spit in your mouth? "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SYNTH And a 1 and a two and a 1, 2, 3. The Heavenly Rockers begin jamming, sounding more like a garage band than a mainstream act. LOGAN Anglesault, you’ve done Theodore Moneymaker wrong Anglesault, correct this wrong Anglesault, have you taken too many hits from the bong? HOLLY Too many hits from the bong? Too many hits from the bong? LOGAN Anglesault, we the people ask that you correct this wrong Do as we say and your life will go on Fight the power and meet the guillotine Your risk, our reward Now go and do the right thing! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MONEYMAKER :lol: Moneymaker shakes hands with the Colonel and Heavenly Rockers as [i]Sympathy for the Devil[/i] cues. COLE Theodore Moneymaker spent who knows how much for that? COACH What are you talking about, Cole? That single’s gonna shoot up the charts in no time. Do the right thing, boss. Cancel the tournament and award Teddy the title shot at School’s Out. COLE How will Anglesault response upon hearing this? Hopefully we'll find out later tonight. * BREAK * Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
