King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted May 8, 2008 [b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, here comes the... well, the co-number one contender, I suppose. The Birmingham fans give Landon Maddix a typically rude reception as he walks through the entrance way, but it's clear that he couldn't care less tonight. With a beaming smile on his face Landon soaks up the adulation inside his head for a moment or two, before striding to the ring boasting of his newly won place in the School's Out main-event. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With Megan catching up to her man and holding the ropes open for him, Landon lets the boos of the crowd breeze right past him. He spins into the ring and strikes a triumphant pose, indicating that he's 'number one'. Number one, co-number one, same thing I guess. COLE Landon set for another of his open challenges which, so far, haven't troubled the membership numbers of Cucaracha Internacional. Hardly the kind of prepation you'd expect from a number one contender. COACH Hey, you're looking at the busiest man in pro-wrestling! Give him a break. COLE The what? COACH Busiest man in wrestling. Landon's got his commitments for the OAOAST, he's in charge of moulding Cucaracha Internacional into the stars of tommorrow, he's the Commissioner of the SWF. The guy spends more time in airports than your average airline pilot! Hell, last week he was in Nova Scotia on Tuesday for an SWF show, then jumped right on a plane and flew to Italy for The Milan Spectacular on Friday... and he STILL beat Todd Cortez! COLE By disqualification. Back in the ring and Landon, to the disdain of the crowd, has got the STICK~ MADDIX School's Out is just two and a half weeks away... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH What the hell does that have to do with School's Out!? MADDIX If you people don't quit that right now, I'll make sure we never bring the SWF over here! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Okay, done. Now, back to School's Out, which as I said before is just two and a half weeks away. Incase any of you missed it here in the backwaters of the United Kingdom, there has been a change to your originally scheduled programming. See, as of last week, I'm back where I belong! Back in the main event. Todd Cortez may well be the 'official' number one contender. But since he failed to defeat me last week, he's still a member of Cucaracha Internacional. His Riot Act Plus is still banned in the OAOAST. And he's going to be sharing his number one contendership with the man who made it all possible... me! COLE Which is all a travesty if you ask me. COACH I'm not sure I did. MADDIX Now I could spend the next five... maybe ten minutes talking about what a great job I did last week, how I beat Todd Cortez one on one yet again, just like I did at AngleMania, just like I did in Hawaii last year, et cetera, et cetera. I could claim that the victory was all down to me. But I would be remiss if I didn't thank somebody else. That somebody else being our very own World Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican. "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon scowls a little. MADDIX PR, when I first saw you sitting at ringside yapping away into your mic as you tend to do, I'm not afraid to admit I was a little worried. Maybe I should have given you more credit. Another startling revelation for you all... Tha Puerto Rican is not as dumb as he looks, ladies and gentlemen. Underneath the catchphrases and the... more catchphrases, there is productive thought going on inside of that head. See, I was worried for no reason. PRL thought it through, he thought all the connotations and all the different scenarios through. And PRL, you made the right choice. I'm sure, deep down underneath this new nice-guy persona of yours, you know you made the right choice. Although, you'd never admit it. COLE Wait, is Landon saying that PRL deliberately got Cortez disqualified at the Milan Spectacular!? COACH Makes sense to me. MADDIX PR, the good news is, you won't have to worry about Todd Cortez and the Riot Act Plus at School's Out now. Of course, the bad news is, now you have to worry about me instead. Need I remind you that one of the reasons it took you so damn long to finally become World Champion is me? Need I remind you of AngleSlam? Or of Zero Hour? "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" MADDIX I've spent far too long caught up in something that should have been settled a long time ago. I tried to take the soft approach with Todd Cortez. A mistake. Look where it's gotten me. Nowhere. So now, I'm taking control of the situation. Come what may. Cortez, if this past week has proven anything, it's that you will follow my lead or suffer the consequences. No more false trust, no more second chances. You follow MY lead. And PR, get all the mileage out of your time as World Champion that you can. It's been a long road to the top. But now that I'm back in title contention, I can promise you it won't be a long stay there for you. Landon smiles, Megan applauding her man. MADDIX Now, with that out of the way, back to tonight. Over the past few weeks I've been offering up the chance to a lucky local wrestler to make themself a star at my expense. The chance of a lifetime. One, to meet Landon Maddix. Two, to wrestle Landon Maddix. Three, to compete on worldwide television. And four, the chance to join Cucaracha Internacional should they beat me. But so far, lo and behold, nobody's beaten me. Nobody's even come close! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Looking confused, Landon turns to Megan who whispers something in his ear. MADDIX Ah. Okay. Well, we'll get to that in a second. Up until now, I've limited the competition to one country. And no country yet has been able to produce someone good enough to beat La Cucaracha, surprise surprise. So, now we come to England and I'm left with a dillemma. Cucaracha Internacional... we already have an Englishman in our ranks. The best English wrestler in the world, Nathaniel Black! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX So, tonight, rather than give someone false hope, I've decided to send a wave of that hope around Europe! Yes. Tonight, the Landon Maddix open challenge has been opened up to ALL of Europe. All of Europe, except Spain, of course. And England. So unfortunately, no Jamie O'Hara. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX No, instead, we reach out to the furthest reaches of Europe. The outer limits, where the OAOAST would never dare venture, or never bother to give any consideration to. Anyone, anywhere. The call was put out and tonight, I will take on not just a city's best, not just a country's best... but Europe's best! So with that in mind, let's bring out my challenger. Come on out, whoever you are, from whereever you are... Landon extends his arms openly to the entrance way... ...until "Know Your Role 2000" hits!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COACH What the hell? PRL isn't from Euro... The cheering from the Birmingham crowd quickly dies down a little, the moment that a masked man walks through the entrance way. Landon, who had looked pretty confused up until now, smiles a little. Stopping at the top of the stage, the man in a blue, white and red mask stops and "smells the electricity". The masked man's tights carry the flag of the Czech Republic, as does the back of his shoddy mask. COLE Oh my... it's... it's Tha Czech Republican!! COACH *slaps forehead* As 'Tha Czech Republican' walks to the ring in a very PRL manner, Landon watches on in amusement. Shaking his head he applauds mockingly as TCR stops and takes another smell of the mild electrical current in the air. COACH Look, Landon knows! He knows that's PRL under that mask and anyone with half a brain knows the same! COLE I don't know... is PRL that tall? COACH He's probably wearing extra insoles. It'd be about the most effort he'd have gone to to disguise himself as well. This is... just embarrassing! Up the steps climbs 'Tha Czech Republican', stepping into the ring and scaling the turnbuckles on one side with an arm raised. He doesn't go for any of the other turnbuckles however, as Landon Maddix stands in his way. 'Tha Czech Republican' sets himself ready for Landon to attack. But the co-number one contender holds up a hand to tell the masked man to calm down. "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" 'Tha Czech Republican' turns his head to the crowd. MADDIX You have got to be kidding me. You're not even trying! Landon looks at the gear that his 'rookie' opponent is wearing, trying not to laugh. MADDIX Lemme guess. Tha Czech Republican, right? Reaching into his tights, Tha Czech Republican pulls out a fake eyebrow and sticks it to the spot of velcro on his mask over his right eye. COLE HAHAHAHAHAHA! COACH *slaps forehead* MADDIX I... oh, wha... okay! Okay PR, go ahead and humour me! We can all guess your name and I'm going to assume you're from whatever the capital of the Czech Republic is. Formalities, done. Now, if I know anything about Tha Czech Republican, I'm SURE you've got some snappy catchphrases that you wanna unload on me. So go ahead. I'm just DYING to hear this authentic Czech accent of yours, I really am. Say 'jabroni'. Go on. No, no, better yet, how about telling me you're going to, oh, I don't know, "lay the Czech down on my candy ass". Come on, don't be shy. No response from Tha Czech Republican and no move for the microphone. MADDIX Come on PR, it's not like you to be at a loss for words. Still no response. MADDIX Well, maybe you do things a little differently in The Czech Republic, I apologise. Here I am hogging the microphone. I really should be giving it to you, shouldn't I? Well, here goes... Having strolled across the ring while talking, Maddix suddenly charges with the microphone brandished and goes for the head of Tha Czech Republican. But the masked man ducks, catching Maddix as he turns around with a boot to the gut... ...pulling him into a standing headscissors... "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Wait... WAIT, NO! ...AND SPIKING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A FRONTFLIP PILEDRIVER TO A BOOMING REACTION IN THE ARENA!!!! COLE ...CZECH REPUBLICAN DESTROYER!!! COACH NO! That's... THAT'S TODD CORTEZ!! COLE A minute ago you said it was PRL! Make up your mind! Maddix lays stricken on the canvas, with Megan wide-eyed in horror at what has just happened. Calling over the referee, Tha Czech Republican flips Landon over on his back and hooks a leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Megan holds her head in her hands as "Know Your Role 2000" hits again, Tha Czech Republican standing over Landon who is completely out of it! BUFFER Here is your winner of the match... THA CZECH REPUBLICAN!!!! COACH THAT'S TODD CORTEZ! IT'S TODD CORTEZ!! GAAAHH!! Standing over Landon, Tha Czech Republican has dropped the PRL tribute act and stands stoicly over La Cucaracha. With no signs of movement from the co-number one contender, the masked man takes one last long look at Landon before he leaves. COLE You know what this means Coach? This means that Tha Czech Republican is the newest member of Cucaracha Internacional! COACH He's already a member because [b]HE'S TODD CORTEZ[/b]!!!!! Megan slides into the ring and tries to revive Landon, who is still yet to move. COLE What was that you were saying about 'half a brain' earlier Coach? COACH Shut up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
