Tony149 0 Report post Posted May 14, 2008 [i]Tell me the story of how you ended up here I've heard it all in the hospital[/i] Still no love for the brave men of the OAOAST First Responders Unit, the duo met with scattered applause. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by OFFICER TANGO BOSLEY…from the OAOAST First Responders Unit... EMT TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH!! Smiles and fist pumps are all Tango and Cash have to fire up the crowd, neither of which works. Then the wildest, wackiest piece of music nobody knows the name of because Patty forgot to say plays. [i]My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14[/i] That lovely little number brings out Jock Mulligan and his new lady friend, wielding a CAT O’ NINE TAILS WHIP. BUFFER And his opponent, led down the aisle by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns… MALAYSIA! From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds, the cock of the walk… “MR. DICK” JOCK MULLIGAN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Having seen it all in their line of work, even Tango and Cash are taken aback by Malaysia. COACH There he is, Mikey, the [I]cockiest[/I] individual in the OAOAST today joined by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns Malaysia. COLE Who Jock says is the only woman DOMINATING enough to handle The Dick. And I believe him. It looks to me she has some experience with that whip. The biggest shit-eating grin imaginable etched on his face, Jock removes a white headband with “DICK” written across in red ala the back of his trunks and HURLS it at EMT Tim. As Tim prepares to lunge forward Jock puts both hands up. All of a sudden remorseful, Jock apologizes for his actions and suckers Tim into shaking his hand… …KICK, DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN, HEADBUTT TO THE GROIN! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE How apropos is it for that to be called Just Being A Dick? Jock picks Tim up and delivers the COCK SHOCK! ONE… TWO… NO! Jock rolls off just to flex. Yes, flex. After enjoying himself on the AngleTron Jock lifts Tim across his shoulders for the COCK BLOCK… but Tim slips out and STRIKES BACK. Again and again. Reeling against the ropes Jock is whipped across and back dropped. He staggers to his feet and gets taken down by a MISSLE DROPKICK~! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The EMT heads straight back to the top with Jock laid out near the corner…AND STOMPS DOWN WITH BOTH FEET!! COLE Starting CPR is EMT Tim Cash. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH I can’t believe EMT Tim -- EMT TIM! -- almost handled The Dick. COLE What an upset that would’ve been. And what a devastating loss it would’ve been for Jock heading into his match with Leon Rodez at School’s Out. Tim signals for the SLEEPER HOLD, his Do Not Resuscitate finishing move, and LOCKS IT ON! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Officer Bosley keeps a close eye on Malaysia as Jock struggles to find a way out of the sleeper. Then a counter, as Jock goes under and drives Tim into the mat with a DIVING FULL NELSON SLAM!! COACH DAYUM~! That‘s what I call [b]PURE PENETRATION[/b]! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… “MR. DICK” JOCK MULLIGAN! Though his hand is raised in victory Jock continues to put the boots to EMT Tim, prompting Officer Bosley to intervene. * WHAP * BOSLEY :o WHIPPED by Malaysia, law enforcement’s finest is ready to use excessive force. Now face to face with the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns (we‘re gonna beat that phrase to the ground because Jim Ross taught us that‘s OK), Bosley is blindsided and the egotistical twosome go to work. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd roars not for the assault on Rescue 911, but the arrival of LEON RODEZ~! * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * Rodez blows a kiss to the fans and readies to deliver an enzurigi, but Malaysia yanks Jock out to the floor and the pair retreat. COLE The Silky Smooth One putting Mr. Dick on notice. What a match it’ll be at School’s Out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
