Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY PRESENTED IN HD Ultimate Victory brings millions of television watchers across the globe to their sets for the latest edition of HeldDOWN. The introductory video is littered with scenes from the various shows that have made up our european vacation and are tinted in a soft earthy golden brown so as to male them seem more nostalgic. We go into the arena and our shot is vibrant with colour. Reds, pinks, and oranges, explode off the screen in a fantastic almost dreamlike beauty. Less beautiful are our announce crew, Double C. Even the orange spot light they stand beneath does little to improve their figures... COLE Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Belfast! And we are on the final night of our European Vacation! COACH Ah Europe, your women, your wine, your food, your cocaine, all pale in comparsion to America's. USA! USA! USA! You are gay! You are gay! COLE Please, never listen to him. Every country has been a splendid host to the OAOAST, and the fans have been magnificent, and we're going to reward them with a great finale tonight, which includes an Anglemania rematch between Zack Malibu and Bohemoth! COACH Wow! These p chords don't deserve the greatness of that rematch. You gotta hold that off for the red, white and blue. Our country has earned that! We gotta return to home shores with a bang! COLE I'm sure we will. But first, let's get up to the ring where a very special guest is standing by! We go right to the ring where the World Heavyweight Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, is already in the ring and watching on with a bored expression as he waits for Cole to finish talking. The already cheering crowd increase in volume once the main camera is on PRL, leant against the ropes by the announce table. PRL No no, don't stop on my account. I've only been standing here for three minutes waiting for you to shut the hell up and get on with the show. Did you get everything? COLE We- PRL Shut up! COACH HA! You just got served by the World Cha- PRL Hey, Coach, I thought I sent you packing a couple of weeks ago. These ESPN contracts aren't what they used to be nowadays, huh? "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" "P - R - L!" PRL See, these people have been waiting to chant the Champ's name from the moment my music hit, to the moment I grabbed this microphone, to the moment the fireworks went off. Nobody cares what's happening later. Nobody cares about your funny little back-and-forths. Nobody cares what second rate Wikipedia research you've done in between trawling your bizarre little pornography hotspots during the week. All that matters is that we are in Belfast, Northern Ireland... "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" PRL ...and that the CHAMP... IS HERE!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH ...he sure told you. PRL Tha Puerto Rican is in the house and he has a couple of things to get off of his chest. School's Out is ten days away. And I am wondering what in the hell is going on around here lately to leave me with not one, but TWO number one contenders! I want to know how a simple number one contender tournament has left me dealing with one of the biggest pain in the asses walking God's green earth again. And I definately need to know who in the hell thought 'Tha Czech Republican' was a funny idea last week! Because I am absolutely stumped. COACH Hey, it's his fault. PRL So in ten days time, now I've got not one but two number one contenders to deal with. The solution to this whole mess is to stick me in a Triple Threat Match. It's gonna be Tha Puerto Rican defending against Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix. Two nobodies who've been dancing the same merry dance for nine long, boring months. And I could give a flying crap about it! PRL paces around the ring. PRL Landon likes Todd. Todd hates Landon. Now Todd is Landon's tag team partner. Now he's not. They fight, they make up, they fight again. It's like a watching an entire series of the homosexual version of Friends and damn it all if the heterosexual version isn't bad enough! Well at School's Out, they will feel the firm bitchslap of reality from the World Heavyweight Champion! And at School's Out, I guaran-damn-tee that Tha Puerto Rican will LAY THE SMA... .:CUE: "Oh No", Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche:. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Well this just got interesting. The Belfast crowd's necks collectively crane towards the entrance way as out marches Todd Cortez, interrupting the World Champion! PRL shoots the evil eye towards Cortez as he heads down the aisleway, enters the ring and walks right past him to grab his own microphone. PRL Woah woah woah. I was under the impression you were a mute. Cortez looks distinctly unimpressed. CORTEZ Real simple. Why? PRL Why what? Why anything? Am I supposed to be some sort of mind reader or is this a riddle maybe? CORTEZ Why did you get me disqualified? Was it deliberate, or not? COACH Oh yeah, here we go. Get out of this one big mouth! Eyeing Cortez up, PRL shakes his head. PRL First of all, who in the hell are you to interrupt the World Champion? Secondly, who the hell are you to suggest I got you deliberately disqualified? And why? Because Landon said I did? I'd have thought you of all people would understand the crap that comes out of his mouth! So, what? You think that I came in and got you DQed so I wouldn't have to deal with your flippy little piledriver. The fact is, Tha Puerto Rican wipes his ass with your ridiculous looking move! It's simple. Maddix threw water on me. I went into the ring and smacked Maddix around for ruining a thousand dollar shirt. End of story. The very fact that you'd even for a second believe ANYTHING that Landon Maddix makes me wonder if I doubted you. Because I was actually looking forward to fighting you at School's Out. Cortez looks a little dubious still. PRL Todd Cortez, the man that stood up for himself. The guy who stopped listening to Landon Maddix's bullshit and went out for himself, to be his own man. Do you realise how many years I spent in the OAOAST, surrounded by 'yes men'? Snivelling cowards like Vitamin X. Like Spanish Fly. Like Thomas Rodriguez. People without the balls to stand up for themselves. People with no brains of their own. You were almost 'that guy' and you got away. You showed you had a brain. And you won the tournament to get a shot at Tha Puerto Rican at School's Out. But then, you throw it all away! Fact is, if you hadn't accepted Landon's challenge, you'd still be facing me one on one in ten days. Don't blame Tha Puerto Rican. YOU made the mistake, pal! With arms folded, Cortez waits for PRL to finish... ...but is interrupted by "Megalomaniac" and the arrival of LANDON MADDIX! COLE Aw great. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a scowl etched on his face, Landon steps out onto the entrance way and shakes his head while motioning for some quiet from the Belfast public. Megan Skye stands at his side and tries to lend a hand, but gets no more success than Landon. MADDIX Enough of this! Enough! All of this is a waste of time... "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Landon directs his scowl at the fans until they settle down again. MADDIX All of this talk is a waste of time, because this situation is about to change. The card subject to change has been changed. Because last week, in front of thousands of people in Birmingham and a worldwide TV audience, you Todd Cortez made the single DUMBEST move of your entire life! You used your little Riot Act Plus on me, again. "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" MADDIX And now, you can spend the next thirty days practicising on your public speaking a little more, because you are officially suspen... PRL Hang on one second here. Pissed at being interrupted, Landon puts his hands on his hips. PRL Correct me if I'm wrong, but last week you were wrestling in your little European challenge? MADDIX I was, but Todd came out in a mask. PRL Correct me again, but I thought I saw you against a guy called Tha Czech Republican? MADDIX Which was Todd under a mask. PRL Hmm. Interesting. See, because I know Tha Czech Republican. MADDIX Do you also know he's Todd under a mask. PRL Nope. Don't remember that. We've swapped cheques a couple of times, that's about all I remember. Anyway, didn't I remember hearing Michael Cole there call that fancy piledriver, NOT the Riot Act Plus, but the Czech Republican Destroyer, the signature move of Tha Czech Republican as everybody knows. MADDIX It was the Riot Act Plus because it was Todd under a mask! PRL turns to Cortez and looks at him curiously. PRL No. That can't be right. See... Todd Cortez was with me that entire night. COACH WHAT!? Losing his temper, Landon takes a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down while Todd wonders what the hell PRL's talking about. MADDIX Wha... what the hell are you talking about!? Just shut up and let me deal with this. PRL I can't do that, because Todd here's innocent. While you were getting dropped on your head and pinned, Todd was with me. He can't have piledrove you. He wasn't there. So, I guess you can't suspend him since he's got an alibi. Sorry. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Landon slowly begins to turn bright red, fists clenched. Megan can be seen asking him if he's okay, but just gets the sound of teeth grinding in response. As Cortez shrugs his shoulders and decides to play along rather than get landed with the 30-day suspension, that's when Landon threatens to really lose it. MADDIX Okay. Okay, yeah, I get it. Of course. Because that's what YOU people do, isn't it, give each other alibis and stuff. Oh, que pesa! That's cool. That's... yeah. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COLE Landon's about to have a breakdown any second here. COACH I don't blame him! MADDIX In that case, we'll just go with that whole triple threat thing at School's Out, no problem. Sounds good. Can't wait. In the meantime, since you're NOT gonna be suspended, how about we have a little tag team match here tonight? Huh? That sound good, 'amigos'? Oh yeah. Let's have it be me, teaming up with... my GOOD PAL, Todd Cortez! Or, Tha Czech Republican, if he's available of course. Either's good! And together, we'll take on the most honest man in professional wrestling, PRL... and whoever he can find to team with him now all his lackeys do not wub him anymore. How about that? Good? Good. Good. I'm going now, have a great time. Landon drops the microphone and stomps off to continue his temper tantrum some place else, with Megan scuttling off after him. In the ring, Cortez and PRL now turn and stare each other down with the tables suddenly turned on each other. COLE Not quite the start to the night Landon was hoping for. But he might get a better end to it, when the School's Out main-eventers do battle in tag-team action! LATER ON TONIGHT JOCK'S DICK; BEEN THERE DONE THAT. CASH'S DICK; SITS THERE WITH DUNCE CAP MISTER DICK Vs EMT TIM CASH LATER AND NEXT WEEK HOME IS WHERE THE HATRED IS HeldDOWN~! RETURNS TO AMERICA! COMMERCIAL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 Belfast's premier tourist destination, Belfast Castle with its numeros visotors walking amongst its lands brings us back to HeldDOWN with 30 Seconds To Mars- A beautiful lie With the show ongoing in the arena, we find ourself backstage with Maggie Nerdly going through a piece to camera in front of the OAOAST interview backdrop. Already on Take 3 thanks to a faulty piece of lighting equipment and Jumbo not-so helpfully asking her for help with his crossword puzzle halfway through her piece, Maggie waits around while the production guys get everything set up again. On the sidelines watching is Leon Rodez, apparantly waiting to get a word. As soon as Maggie notices Leon though she asks for a second and skips over to him, giving him an enthusiastic peck on the cheek. LEON Wow, what was that for? MAGGIE For being the cutest boyfriend in the world of course! (pecks Leon again) So, what's that happy-haps, my chappy-chap? LEON Eh, not much. MAGGIE Coolio. Listen, just lemme get this bit done and dusted and we'll go grab something to eat. I feel like we haven't had any... 'alone time' in forever, know what I mean? LEON Yeah I do. That'd be great actually, turns out I needed to talk to you about something. Looking intrigued, Maggie smiles and waves goodbye to her boyfriend before walking all of four feet back in front of camera to finish off her piece. Leon waves back, a little absent-mindedly. MAGGIE We ready boys? ..... HEY, it's your number one hook-up one more time, Maggie Nerdly getting ready for the AfterParty! This week we're finding out what really makes my main man T-Bod tick as he gives ya'll the types to get that perfect beach bod' and beyond. Plus we're gonna be learning how to Riverdance with D*LUX and Nat Black tries to convert us to his idea of real sport with the Chelsea soccer team. Sure they ain't no EPL champs, but they're okay. All that on the Afterparty, OAOAST.com! Holding her final pose for a couple of extra seconds just incase, Maggie gives a quick thumbs up before skipping back off to Leon. MAGGIE (mimes dunking a basketball) Nailed it. Oh yeah. Sooo, care to settle my intrigue? LEON It's nothing really. It's just Melody's not been the same since what happened in Milan... Maggie sighs and rolls her eyes. LEON ...and she clams up every time I try asking her about this 'Malaysia'. So, I just wondered what can you tell me really. What she's doing here. What her problem is with Melody. Why Melody's so worried. Anything you think'd help. MAGGIE Yeah. Uh, turns out I can't make our meal after all. LEON Please? Maggie rolls her eyes again. MAGGIE Fine. Malaysia's... she's real big. You probably noticed that already. But, that's pretty much her 'thing'. She'd always bully us and acted like she thought she could kick all our asses combined. Just because she was 50 pounds bigger, half a foot taller and could kick all our asses combined. Can you believe that? LEON Why would she do that though? I mean, I know you Nerdlys are dysfunctional, but still. MAGGIE Hmm. There are many theories amongst our fair family. It could be a chemical imbalance related to her abdonormal size. Or, it could be because we all kinda used to tease her about it. Could have been the calling her King-Kong. Or Godzilla. Or Optimus Prime. Never really got that one. It could also have been Molly submitting that wildlife video about her in video production class. Could have been any number of things really. Point is, she doesn't like the rest of us Nerdlys too much. She just stayed down in our gym in the basement. Which, as a long-time friend of Melvin and Marvin's, you'll understand lead to much isolation. Nerds can be so cruel sometimes. Oh, and she's got this weird thing for getting off on making people feel pain too. Anything else? LEON That probably covers it, thanks. MAGGIE Great. So I'll see you around I guess. Smiling, Leon wraps an arm around the suddenly less affectionate Maggie. LEON We'll catch up soon, I promise. I've just got to do something first. MAGGIE Don't sweat it. I've gotta get to that Afterparty anyway. LEON It's a fictitious party Mags. MAGGIE I know. But I've still gotta do a couple of re-takes for the show. Rock n' roll! Chuckling to himself, Leon gives Maggie a peck on the cheek before walking off, leaving the Women's Champion behind with arms folded and a slight pout on. MAGGIE Hey, any of you camera dudes fancy getting smashed on margaritas once we're done? COLE Hmmmm...lots of intrigue back at the Afterparty set! But, what do you think Leon meant by having something to take care of first? COACH Zack's boots looked a little scruffy earlier today, so Leon's gotta give em a through shining. And if he does a good job, Zack'll let him eat the leftovers from his dinner plate out the garbage. Good doggy! COLE You take advantage of the fact that Leon never gets angry. Shameful. COMING UP NEXT ***ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES*** LOVE DOCTORS VS TEAM HEYROSS 1ST TIME EVER (I AM A GENIUS!) NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) Brit Black's Jet Black Heart and the splendid grace of Belfast's city hall carry us back to live action, where the deep, powerful purple colour scheme floods the arena and the screen. Bad Case of Loving You plays, and the Love Doctors make their way to the ring, to a nice pop. COLE Tag team titles on the line next! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST World tag team championship! Making their way to the ring, the challengers, at a total combined weight of 436 pounds...Dr. Max Anderson and Dr. Steven Pigley...THE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVE DOCTORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Big opportunity for the Love Doctors, not often you'll see these guys in a position to win the tag team titles, but here they are! The Docs climb into the ring, and remove their coats, as Shine by Collective Soul plays, and Team Heyross makes their way out, getting a big pop. COLE Let's go back to the ring! BUFFER Their opponents...at a total combined weight of 485 pounds...they are the OAOAST World tag team champions...Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Should be a very exciting matchup here, very similar styles, as both teams can wrestle on the mat and take to the air! Team Heyross poses with their belts, then hand them to the referee, who raises them up and calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Benjamin starts off with Pigley, and the two tie up. Benjamin backs Pigley into the ropes, then the two roll on the ropes into a corner, where Benjamin ends up on top, then breaks clean at the behest of the referee. Pigley moves in again, and the two tie up again, with Pigley grabbng a side headlock. Benjamin backs Pigley into the ropes, and shoves him across. Benjamin drops down, then leapfrogs Pigley, but puts his head down, and Pigley delivers a kick! COLE Mistake there by Quentin Benjamin, putting his head down! Pigley attempts a scoop slam, but Benjamin slips behind, and attempts a reverse sunset, which Pigley blocks by hooking the ropes. Pigley then charges Benjamin, who leapfrogs him, then drops down, then leapfrogs again, before catching Pigley with a high dropkick! COLE Nice dropkick, as the action fast and furious so far in this one! Benjamin covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Benjamin wrings the arm of Pigley, but Pigley reverses. Benjamin reverses back, and tags in Moss. Team Heyross whips Pigley into the ropes, and catch him with a double hiptoss! They then catch Anderson with the same move! The Docs roll out and regroup briefly, then Anderson tags in to face Moss. COACH Now it's Moss against Dr. Max Anderson! Moss and Anderson circle the ring, then move in to tie up, but Anderson delivers a foot to the gut, then hammers on the back of Moss. He picks up Moss and whips him across, but Moss comes back with a sunset flip attempt! COLE Moss going for a pinfall here! Anderson attempts to punch Moss, but Moss moves, and Anderson's hand strikes the mat! Moss then comes from behind, and executes a German suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! Moss picks up Anderson, and executes a side headlock. Anderson backs him into the ropes, where he blind tags Pigley. He shoves Moss across, then drops down, and Moss comes back right into a spinning wheel kick from Pigley! COACH Whoa, nice move there from the Docs! COLE A big move, as the challengers look to have taken control here! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Pigley hammers away on Moss, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a flying back elbow! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Anderson tags back in, and delivers some rights before whipping Moss across, and catching him with an ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER~! COLE Could that be the move? 1... 2... Kickout! Pigley tags back in, and sets up a suplex...but Moss reverses to a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE And Pigley almost got caught right there! Pigley recovers and delivers right hands, then executes a Northern Lights suplex! 1... 2... Kickout! Anderson tags back in, and climbs to the top rope. COLE And Dr. Max Anderson perhaps looking to perform a little shock therapy! Anderson gets his balance, and comes off for the SHOCK THERAPY~!!!!!11111...but Moss rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! COACH Moss should make a tag right here! Moss slowly crawls over to his corner, and makes the tag! COLE And there's the tag! Tags were made on both sides, as Benjamin gets the better of a slugfest with Pigley, then whips him across, and catches him with a spinning wheel kick! Cover... 1... 2... Anderson tries to save with an elbow, but Benjamin moves, and Pigley takes the move! COLE He elbowed his own partner! Team Heyross catches Anderson with a double superkick, then wait on the dazed Pigley, and floor him with the DOUBLE GOOZLE~!!! COLE And Team Heyross is setting it up! Moss picks up Pigley, and sets him on his shoulders as Benjamin climbs to the top, for the SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!!!11111 COLE Put it in the books! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST World tag team champions...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE Very impressive win for Team Heyross, as they prepare to defend against Thunderkid and Reject at School's Out! And folks make sure to be a television set that night because the OAOAST is kicking summer off big! Right now stay tuned for more HD. NEXT WEEK THE OAOAST IS BACK ON AMERICAN SOIL AND KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN RETURNS TO THE RING THANKS CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS! NEXT WEEK Edited May 16, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 The power of a tripod mounted Siclopse lets us see Ned Blanchard lounging on a leather chair, clad in black slacks, and a navy and white stripped polo shirt. He sips on a glass of scotch, as he watches Molly sit behind a desk navigating a website on her Macbook Pro. Poor, poor, Molly and her low budget wardrobe, sees her wear the same khaki pants and dark green polo shirt she always does. However, her makeup is done exceedingly well, no doubt the product of spending the past couple of weeks hanging around Krista. Because Molly's behind the computer and not the camera, we've got no fancy camera tricks tonight! MOLLY Ned, would you like to tell the ever so lovely viewing audience what it is we're doing? NED Heck yeah. We're getting our cyberspace pimp on as only two members of The Enterprise can possibly do. MOLLY We're the only ones with wireless internet connections. NED Taking the Handsome Hustler's hustle from the freeway to the highway, the information superhighway that is. So to speak. And Miss Molly has signed your man up for one of those dating sites. Adult friend finder? MOLLY How horribly inaccurate! Adult Friend Finder is the farthest thing from a dating site. Its a “quick route to a fourogy with a trucker and two lonely soccer moms” site. We're on the classy sophistication of eharmony.com, my good man. NED This site cost money, though. MOLLY Yes, I believe its about thirty American dollars per month. NED Jesus Christ in a taxi cab! Man, BOSS just found an autographed copy of Nas 'verbal intercourse on Amazon for twenty two bucks! MOLLY Sexual intercouse>verbal intercourse. NED Hot damn! The intern learns fast! MOLLY Off we go to the races! Let's create a magically wonderful profile for you. NED I don't want no Indian girls. None, not a one, no thank you, please don't come. Hindu...what have you. And its not being racial...no...not at all really. No Pat Buchanan. But, no Indian girls. And its not racist, because Mister Denzel Washington is one of my favorite actors. He and Morgan Freeman. MOLLY No coloreds allowed to drink at this water fountain! No coloreds allowed on the front of this bus! No coloreds allowed to eat at the same restaurants at whites, even though they can fight the white man's war. But its not being racial so..I just don't really like them is all. But its not racial because I named my dog Potier, after Mister Sidney Potier. My favorite actor, and my secret gay fantasy. NED They smell frankly. The Indians. Okay, there it is. Out in the open. They smell. I walk into any corner store in Anytown, Anystate, America, I want my Lays, my Mountain Dew, my USA Today because I like the pretty graphs they have, and what do I get? An entire race of people that smells like they've been rolling in Ganesh's monster turds. They smell like a oil tanker. Fisherman's wharf, actually. MOLLY Fisherman's wharf! NED So..and its not racial. Not at all. Because I read a story about an Iraqi man who killed his daughter, brutally beat her at that, because she was dating a British soldier. So, who's racist in this picture? Me, who likes a chick dressed to the nines with good hygiene or the Iraqi who just kills his daughter because she's shagging a Brit? Molly turns her shocked face to the Siclopse. MOLLY My, how disgustingly ignorant! You are aware Iraqis and Indians aren't the same thing. NED In a way they are, though. MOLLY ( typing in Ned's profile and reading what she writes) Seeking single white protestant female, hood and robe optional, Nazi youth membership preferred, must have experience in cross burning. NED My daughter is a Jew. So...not racial against Jews either. No Mel Gibson. MOLLY Hobbies? BLANCHARD Put reading. MOLLY Shall I put masturbating? NED Put reading, damn it! MOLLY (typing) Reading the rules of entry for sixteenth annual wank-a-thon. NED I read books, Molly! Molly looks at the siclopse in skepticism. MOLLY On what? I'm so terribly curious! NED The arts. The sciences. Wars. Uh....Animals. Molly looks into the Siclopse in comical disbelief. MOLLY Animals, truly? You've read Horton Heard and Cat In The Hat. I offer you esteemed congratulations. If McCain gets elected can the United States look forward to you as poet Laurette? NED I went to college, Molly. Obviously, I'm a man of education and class, I did after all attend Cal State LA. MOLLY I went to Princeton. NED Alright, if you're going to insult me. MOLLY Insulting you? My word, no! I thought we were sharing. NED Gimme a kiss, and that'll make things semi cool between us. MOLLY I'm not going to kiss you, old man. NED Old man! There are plenty of tiny nagging foibles and follies I could call you out on. MOLLY Not today. You can't say a single disparaging word about me today. NED Why? Its not like its your birthday. MOLLY Um...yes, it is my 25th birthday. LOL! AWKWARD SILENCE! NED There's no graceful maneuvering out of this fuck up is there? There's gotta be something around here that doubles as a gift. (Ned scrounges into his pocket) Um, crap. Peanuts from the airplane? They've been smashed underneath my ass for ten hours, but... MOLLY Terribly allergic! Save the planters for Mackenzie's birthday, s'il vous plait. My gifts are spoken for. Krista sent me two dozen of the most absolutely lovely Pink Sapphire roses you'll never lay your eyes on. NED Krista? Krista Isadora Duncan? If this doesn't result in you two making out, while I fondle myself while watching from the crack in the door, I'm going to be seriously pissed off. I unknowingly covered her sapphic tendencies for years, and want to hear what my GLAAD image award worthy actions got me for my twenty ninth birthday? Ned digs through his suitcase and pulls out an innocent looking birthday card. NED Shaking my head at this crap. Ned flips open the card, and suddenly the less then innocent music plays. I kissed a girl, won't change the world But I'm so glad I kissed a girl (weren't the first time) I kissed a girl (won't be the last time) I kissed a girl I kissed a girl NED (slamming the card shut) Happy birthday, Handsome Hustler. You've wasted thousands of dollars romancing a lesbian for months. Good life experience to take into your thirties. No? MOLLY I believe a card that sings “In the Matter of Duncan, Krista Vs Blanchard, Ned the Commissioner of Social Service under Article 495of the Family Court Act, hereby orders Blanchard, Ned to pay a monthly support of a monetary fee that shall not exceed eight thousand dollars” would be quite a bit worse for you now! NED Let's get back to the eharmony sluts. Don't set me up with any smart girls. The type to try to find the Pythagorean therom of an orgasm. I'd rather nail a dumb fatty, then a smart hottie. Real talk and Reel talk. Shawty wanna thug Bottles in the club Shawty wanna hump You know I like to touch your lovely lady lumps Shawty wanna thug Bottles in the club Shawty wanna hump You know I like to touch your lovely lady lumps NED Oh, man, the sluts are blowin up my cell. One of my girls must be thirsty for their man. Hold on real quick, these babes are insatiable. Ned flicks open his phone. NED You're online with the Ned man, speak to me, baby. GIRL Daddy! NED Damn right I'm yo daddy! GIRL Yeah, that's why you pay my mother a big fat check every month. NED Maya?! MAYA Yeah, its me, dad. All cell phones have caller ID, there's no excuse for this to happen a sixth time! MOLLY Ned Blanchard, once again barely missing out on the father of the year award. NED Hi, Maya, how are you? What's going on back in LA? MAYA I have a problem! NED Its not a problem with your girly parts is it? Because, that's not really an area I like to visit. (to siclopse) Hold on it is an area like to visit, because I'm a pure red blooded man, I've never come off even the slightest bit queer. Not once. No Elton John. But I don't want to visit there in the way she means. MAYA Dad, the problem is with Jade. NED Well...Jade is Krista's daughter....so, where's Krista? JADE She's at a photoshoot for Vogue magazine. NED (very excited) A nude photoshoot?! MAYA Why would that matter? NED Well...uh...obviously...its cold in those studios, and if she's naked all day, then she may catch cold, so I was going to bring her some chicken soup when I get into town. Nothing more. MOLLY Brilliant cover by the smoothest operator in the OAOAST! MAYA Jade is really bothering me now! My friend Caitlin got SAW II from Netflix today, and she brought it over, and her dad, he was one of the producers it, says its cool if she watches it. But, Jade's being such a jerk, she says its too bloody and gross for me. NED No one's censoring what my kid watches. Alright, nobody. Not a single person. And you give that message to Jade, and you tell her that's a dose of reel talk from one half of the Beverly Hills Blonds. You wanna watch SAW. I say watch it, I say watch all three or four SAWs. Twice. MOLLY (sarcastically) Good heavens, every adolescent should be watching movies packed with gratuitous, graphic, horrific, inhumane acts of terror and violence! MAYA And she's not mom, she wasn't even my sister until three months ago. Its very annoying when she's always trying to tell me what to do and what not to do. Mom leaves her in charge, but I'm smarter then her, so why should I listen to her? NED You shouldn't. Frankly. You're spot on. Since when does Jade Rodez, control Maya Duncan-Blanchard? Since never. This life is about independence, and doing your own thing, your way. That's the greatest lesson I can teach you. If you wanna watch SAW, do it. If you wanna jump on the bed when Krista's not around, more power to you. If you want to fly the swasitka... MOLLY Ned, how awfully awful, she's Jewish! NED Then you wouldn't do that, even if Jade told you had to fly one. MAYA She's nice sometimes, and she's not a real mean person. And we had fun going miniature golf this weekend with mom for mother's day, and I taught her how to surf and she's not that bad. So, I dunno. But... NED But, she needs to stay in her lane. Bottom line. And if she comes over into your lane, well...you gotta deal with that how it gotta get dealt with. Reel talk once again. And, I'm gonna do you a favor, as your father and impart some of my hard earned wisdom on Jade. You and I were suppose to spend some time together this weekend when I got back to LA. Scratch that, and tell Jade, I'm extending the olive branch, and inviting her to an evening at my beach front condo in Manhattan Beach. Get to know the father of her baby sis. MAYA You want me to get you a jumpoff? NED Ju...ju..jumpoff? Where did you learn that?! MAYA I watch Gossip Girl! NED Hey, just deliver the invite. I gotta go. MAYA Why? NED Buildings on fire. Bye! Ned quickly hangs up the phone. NED And again, not racial because Nelson Mandela is my personal hero. Molly gives one last hilariously appalled look into the camera before we return to sofa central. COLE Folks, you can look forward to Krista's return to the OAOAST ring next- COACH Those legs, those legs, those long sexy legs. COLE Week. But, don't forget that you can also check out photos, videos, and journal entries from all our superstars from our European Vacation on OAOAST.com. Videos include matches taped before the show, matches from our non televised events, as well interviews with our fans all across Europe! Only at OAOAST.com! LATER ON JOCK'S DICK SERVED A WHOLE LUNCHEON. CASH'S DICK LOOKS LIKE A MUNCHKIN. JOCK MULLIGAN VS EMT TIM CASH LATER BUT COMING UP NEXT AN ANGLEMANIA REMATCH ZACK MALIBU. BOHEMOTH. 2. NEXT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) COLE Alright, this is the one we've been waiting for. After a memorable but controversial first ever meeting, Bohemoth and Zack Malibu go one on one once again, right here in Belfast. These two great athletes tore the house down on March 30th in one of the greatest matches in AngleMania history. But not all of it was left in the ring that night, after the victorious Bohemoth refused to shake the hand of Zack after the match. Zack claimed that was disrespect, Bohemoth accused Zack of trying to 'steal his moment'. And finally the date and place have been agreed on to try and settle this one more time! COACH Man, I dunno who's in the right or who's in the wrong, nor do I care. All I know is, if AngleMania was any indication, we're in for a hell of a fight! .:CUE: "Getting Away With Murder", Papa Roach:. COLE And HERE we go! Let's go up to the ring, with Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is an AngleMania VII rematch and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. Hailing from Providence, Rhode Island... he weighs two hundred, ten pounds... ladies and gentlemen, the true "FRANCHISE" of the OAOAST, this is ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCK... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAALLLLIIIIIIIIIIBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Walking through a shower of golden pyro, Zack Malibu appears from behind the curtain and marches to the ring with a determined look on his face, but still time for his fans. A burst of white pyro shoots out from either side of the ramp behind him as he tags a few hands on his way. Zack slides into the ring and salutes the sold-out crowd before running the ropes in an effort to loosen himself up. COLE This isn't about evening scores or getting wins back for Zack Malibu. Tonight it's about respect. COACH Well sure that's what he'd tell you, since he's the guy that lost at AngleMania. Of course it's about getting wins back! Come on already. With some civil words to the referee checking him over, Zack limbers up in the corner... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...as "Liberate" powers out into the arena! The curtains part again and through them marches Bohemoth, head held high as he makes his entrance to what becomes a rather mixed reception. Bo pauses, lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses briefly before striding on towards his rival. BUFFER And, on his way to the ring the opponent! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina and weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Large support as ever for The Meterosexual Monster, but you can't help but notice a smattering of boos in there as well. Making light work of the aisleway, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and pulls off his trusty orange shades. Out into the sea of people they get flicked, Bo now locking eyes with Malibu from across the ring. Bohemoth climbs the turnbuckles, making sure his opponent gets a good look at the impressive physique he's about to try and cut through again as he flexes his muscles for the Belfast crowd. Jumping off the turnbuckles, Bohemoth suddenly comes face to face with Malibu in the middle of the ring. No words are exchanged. Bohemoth just smirks, while Zack stares up at his larger opponent until the referee steps in and seperates them. COLE You can cut the tension with a knife right now. COACH These two are gonna tear each other limb from limb, I can't wait! *DINGDINGDING!* The moment the bell sounds, the action starts, as Malibu strikes hard and fast with a forearm across Bo's jaw! The big man is then reined in by Malibu and nailed with a pair of European uppercuts, making him woozy while Zack bounces off the ropes...and runs right into a hard lariat! Bo drags Zack up and pounds on him, clubbing him across the back and then shoving him backwards into the corner, then crushing him with another lariat in the corner! Zack then gets led out and shot into the ropes, and the next thing he knows he's airborne, as Bo presses him up into the air...but as Zack falls back to earth, he manages to hit Bo with a dropkick that sends him staggering back! Bo charges, and Zack carries him over with a hiptoss. Malibu goes for an elbow but comes up short, and when Bo rolls to his feet he tries the same tactic, getting the same result in the process. Both men are now up on their feet, burning a hole through one another as they circle, with the noise of an enthusiastic crowd fueling both their rage! COLE Nothing was solved at Anglemania, and nothing has been solved here in the early going. These are two men with one thing in common...they want to beat the other one senseless! The two lock up, and Bo grabs a headlock, but Malibu slides out easily and grabs a rear waistlock. Bo has a good laugh at that, as Malibu can't budge the big bruiser. Bohemoth tears Malibu's hands off his waist, then snapmares him over and slaps him across the back of the head, drawing a mix of "Ooooh's" and "Boooo's" from the crowd! COACH Ooooh DAMN, if Malibu felt disrespected at Anglemania, I wonder how he feels after that! Zack rolls to his feet, while Bo smirks at him and waves him on. Not one to be toyed with, Zack moves forward and ties up with Bo, but gets thrown off rather handily by the Metrosexual Monster. Zack charges again, trying to tackle Bo down, but the big man stays grounded, and hammers Zack across the back before gutwrenching him up off the mat! Zack manages to slide down his back, then spins Bo around to deliver a kick to the gut and suplex him to the canvas! Zack rolls through the move, bringing Bo up to his feet, and then traps his arms in a butterfly lock, then starts driving knees into the pimptastic superstar! After that, Zack fireman carries Bo to the canvas, then hits the ropes and delivers a basement dropkick to Bo as he sits up, then tries for a cover on his rival! ONE! KICKOUT! COLE Great burst of offense by Malibu, but Bohemoth isn't going to go down that easily! Zack traps Bo in a facelock as he gets up, but the big man powers forward and tries to back Zack into the corner...but Malibu breaks the hold and shoves Bo chest first into the turnbuckles, then takes him to the mat with a waistlock! Bo pushes up on all fours, but Zack stands over him, then drops down onto his lower back, then delivers a few hard crossface shots before pulling Bo to his feet and jarring him with a Russian legsweep! Zack rolls through that move as well, then struggles to get an armbar, but Bo fights it, desperately looking to pull his arm away. Zack struggles to lock in the hold, but Bo rolls onto his side and grabs Zack's throat with his free hand, using that as leverage to make Zack let him get to his feet! Bo comes up, glaring at Zack as he holds him by the neck, and then he picks up Malibu and throws him into the corner! Bo then charges in and drives the air out of Malibu with a running shoulderblock, and as Zack reels from that, Bo slaps him hard across the face, then goes back to driving his shoulder into his ribcage! Zack then gets sent to the far side, and Bo follows, hitting a running shoulderblock that crumples Zack down in the corner! Zack holds his ribs as he's led to his feet, then hoisted up onto Bo's shoulder and run back across the ring, to the corner he was just beaten in, and dropped across the top turnbuckle with a snake eyes, leaving him staggered as Bo hits the ropes and hits a rabbit lariat with such force that Malibu falls through the ropes, out to the ringside floor~! COLE That power advantage coming into play once again right there! That man makes even the most common wrestling moves into killers, just because of the sheer intensity and strength behind them! COACH Not to mention that Bo has gained a bit of a mean streak since Anglemania, Mikey Cole. That power advantage and that mental toughness, being more carefree about what he does in that ring and who he's doing it to...that's gonna be tough to combat! Bo hops out of the ring and grabs Zack off the floor, but Malibu, ever the opportunist, shows that he wasn't hurt as bad as he let on! Knocking Bo's hands away, Malibu opens fire with a flurry of open hand slaps, wailing on Bo before using a ROARING ELBOW~!...that hits elbow, as Bo puts his arm up to block, then hoists Malibu off his feet and runs across ringside with him, ramming his back into the guardrail! Zack winces, as Bo lifts Zack up and drapes him over his shoulder, carrying him towards the ring...and then slamming his back into the edge of the apron! Zack then gets rolled in by Bo, who gets up on the apron and scowls at the crowd who begin to shower him with boos. Bo then casually gets back into the ring as if he doesn't hear the crowd reaction, and simply picks Zack up and drops him with a backbreaker! COLE Bohemoth has zeroed in on a body-part now, the back of Zack Malibu. And we know how much of the bigman's offence involves picking you up and throwing you around. COACH I think it's a little more involved than that. Right on cue, Bohemoth picks Zack up and throws him back down with a bodyslam. Off the ropes, Bo follows up with high elevation on an elbow drop and hooks a leg... ONE! TWO! No! Trying to get off the canvas, Zack strikes back at Bo with an open handed chop to the chest while shuffling towards the ropes. Stomps to the lower back prevent Zack from getting there. Bo stalks right after Zack as he starts crawling again, this time dropping down with a knee. Pinning the knee in the back, Bohemoth reaches back and pulls back on the chin to trap Malibu in a submission predicament. No submission just yet from Zack though despite the 284 pounds on his back preventing him from reaching the ropes. COLE This is what we didn't really see from Bohemoth at AngleMania, taking Malibu down and controlling him in these sort of positions. With the size advantage Bohemoth can really wear The Franchise down by forcing him to carry his body weight like this. Zack summons up the energy to twist and squirm from underneath the knee in the back, left in the chinlock but able to get a hand on the bottom rope. Bohemoth breaks cleanly when required, but drops a big elbow across the back before Zack can get to his feet. Another elbow is dropped before Bo drags Malibu away from the ropes and into the centre of the ring. Bo stands over Zack's back and bends down to apply a camel clutch. Out through the legs shuffles Zack however. With Bo momentary lost, Zack reaches up and pulls the bigman down with a surprise roll-up! ONE! TWO! No! First to his feet, Bo takes a short run-up and just SLAMS the flat of his boot into the side of Zack's face! COLE OH! Point blank, boot right to the jaw! COACH And that'll cut Zack's fightback off in it's tracks. Bohemoth reaches down and picks Zack up off the canvas. Scooping him into his arms with impressive ease, the monster from Greenville does a couple of curls with his opponent to show off his strength before he drops him down across a knee with a backbreaker. Keeping Malibu draped over the knee Bo then presses down on the jaw and the knee to continue the back breaking process. Again no submission from Zack, but plenty of shouts of pain as he's bent down across the knee. Bo raises an arm and clubs Zack in his exposed stomach with a forearm. And as Zack wags his finger 'no' again, he gets another forearm. Zack surprises him by lifting his free leg up and cracking him in the face with a knee though! Bo pushes right back down on the backbreaker, but Zack throws a second knee! And a third, dazing Bo and allowing Zack to turn over on top with a pin! ONE! TWO! No! Shaken up, Bo gets back up and swings with a clothesline. Zack weaves underneath though, hooking hold of Bo by the head trying to apply a sleeper. Before he can drop, Bo goes into reverse and crushes Malibu in the turnbuckles to force him off. Bohemoth backs up again and crushes Zack in for a second time. Bo then watches Zack out of the corner, scooping him up and planting him with a Side Slam! ONE! TWO! Kickout! COLE We're seeing much less of a back and forth match between these two so far. This handshake issue has really opened up a more determined side of Bohemoth. Bo backs Zack up into a corner and unloads with a succession of body shots. The referee gets to a count of five and moves Bohemoth back, but the bigman gets right back on Zack with some more body shots seconds later. The Belfast crowd sense trouble for Zack and start to get behind him with chants of "MAL - I - BU!". Bo pays no attention as he whips Zack corner to corner. Following in, he runs right into a raised knee! With Bo dazed, Zack quickly hops up onto the middle rope and jumps off with an axehandle smash... but gets caught by The Meterosexual Monster and trapped in a Bearhug! COLE This does not look good for Zack right now. COACH Not at all. Bohemoth just squeezing the life out of Zack and expending little energy doing it. Even if Zack can get out of this the damage may be done. Drawing on his reserves and the support of the crowd, Malibu starts to feel some energy flowing and tries to fight out. Bo keeps Zack's feet off the mat but drops him after Zack drives his elbows downwards into the side of his neck! Once his feet are down, Zack tries to pry an arm between Bo's. When that doesn't work, he rings the bigman's bell with a double ear clap! Bo wobbles a little, so Zack claps the ears again. And after a third shot, Bo looks weakened. But just as Zack sees hope, Bo scoops him right back off his feet and drives him back first into the turnbuckles, then walks out with the bearhug still applied! COACH Bohemoth with a definate gameplan here tonight. Zack sinks a little as Bo continues to put the squeeze on. Again the crowd try to get behind him, but Zack can't get anything going this time and his arm begins to droop. The referee quickly steps in and checks on Zack, seeing few signs of life and lifts up the left arm... and it drops! COLE Zack is as tough as they come, but when you've got a 284 pounder cutting off your breathing this is the effect it has. Another couple of tightenings of the hold leave Zack almost done. Bohemoth nods his head, as the referee raises the arm up... ...and it drops a second time. COACH One more and it's over! "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The fans rally behind The Franchise as the referee gives the signal over to the timekeeper. Up goes the arm once more and Zack continues to slump forwards lifelessly, as the ref lets the arm drop... ...BUT ZACK KEEPS IT UP, HE'S NOT DONE YET!! COLE Zack Malibu, digging deep here. Zack clenches up his fist and drives a right hand into the temple. Bo staggers a little and Zack tries it again. A third fist finally breaks Zack free of the hold and he works out the kinks in his back, before hitting the ropes. Bohemoth shakes off the punches like they were nothing though and scoops Malibu up on the rebound, before drilling him down with a Front Spinebuster that sucks the air out of the entire arena! Cover! ONE! TWO! T-NO! SHOULDER UP! COACH Zack's gonna have to keep on digging. Bo's cutting him off at the pass every time at the moment. COLE I tell you, that win at AngleMania has given Bohemoth so much confidence. We saw the way he dismantled Sly Sommers, now he's controlling Zack in a way he simply couldn't at AngleMania. It's gotta be a confidence thing. Picking Zack back up once more, Bohemoth shoves him back against the ropes. As Zack stumbles back off them the bigman is waiting to greet him with open arms. Before those arms can close around him again, Zack throws an elbow out and catches Bo right on the point of the jaw! Bo staggers for a second while Zack drops to a knee holding his back, unable to follow up any further on his desperation strike. Bo comes back at Zack and hauls him to his feet, connecting with a big right hand that drops Zack in the corner. Stomps force Malibu down against the bottom turnbuckle, a flurry of them before Bohemoth backs off and orders the referee to get out of his way. With Zack still down in the corner, Bo hits the ropes, running down the length of the ring looking for the Facewash. With a little shuffle Zack comes out from the corner just in time and surprises Bo, scything his legs out with a drop toehold as he runs in. Bo falls throat across the middle rope and ends up right where Zack had escaped from, sat up against the bottom turnbuckle. And bad back and all, Zack capitalises as he hits the ropes and lunges into The Meterosexual Monster, hesitating in mid-air as he comes down with a head-snapping dropkick!! COLE Turn about is fair play! Bo goes down, but Zack is slow to capitalize, and the big man rolls to his feet with ease. Targeting Zack once again, he moves towards the popular superstar, only to be lured in by Zack and rocked with a jawbreaker! Bohemoth hobbles, holding the jaw that Zack nearly broke in their Anglemania encounter, and Malibu comes up and does more damage with a trifecta of European uppercuts! With Bo backed against the ropes, Zack whips him to the far side, but makes the mistake of putting his head down. Bo stops short and sets Zack in a standing headscissor, but when he lifts Zack up, the OAOAST Original rolls over his back, into a sunset flip...but then comes up holding the legs, going for a Figure Four Leglock...but just before he can cinch the hold in, Bo reaches up and cradles him with a small package! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! COACH Phew! That was one hell of a back and forth right there! COLE Zack is fired up, but he's got to watch his comebacks...he's got to remember that Bo has done a lot of damage to that back, and one false move could be his downfall! Both men come up to their feet, and Zack strikes first with an overhand chop to the chest, then throws Bo into the corner where he opens fire again with a flurry of open hand strikes before sending Bo to the opposite corner and following with a running knee that rocks the big man! Zack then backs up and measures Bo up before charging in a second time, this time striking with a corner splash, and after that connects, he shifts Bo up onto the top turnbuckle! Zack then climbs up onto the middle rope and drills a few hard rights into Bo's forehead, then climbs up onto the third rope and locking Bo in a front facelock. Zack lifts, but a combination of the weak back and Bo's resilience factors in, and Bo won't go! With the crowd egging him on, Zack delivers a pair of punches to stun Bo and then try again, but as he tries to lift Bo stands himself up on the top rope, lifts Zack off his feet...AND LEAPS OFF WITH A FLYING SPINEBUSTER THAT SENDS ZACK INTO SHOCK~! COACH YO~! COLE What a move! Look at Zack, Coach! Look at him shaking! Malibu quivers on the mat, hollering in agony as the shock has set in, and his back is even worse for wear now. Bo lay with his face buried in the mat, no doubt happy with the turning of the tide once again in this contest. He pushes up off the canvas and crawls over to Malibu, who is aching, and rolls him onto his back, hooking a leg! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! NO! ZACK GETS A SHOULDER UP! The crowd goes spastic, as Malibu, albeit at the last second, escaped defeat after that high impact manuever. Bo comes up off the canvas, bringing Zack up with him and scooping him up into his arms. Bo scowls as he holds Zack horizontally, then spins him outward into THE EROTIC AWAKENING OF B~!...but Zack manages to slide out in mid-move and hit a quick Russian legsweep to take Bo off his game! Zack then scrambles to his feet and springs off the middle rope, hitting Bohemoth with an Asai moonsault! Zack then rolls off of him and delivers a kneedrop to the forehead! As Bo stings from the blow, Zack picks him up and quickly hits an inverted atomic drop, then spins him around and hits a back suplex, dumping the big man back on the canvas! Zack grits his teeth as he sits up, he himself reeling from his own offense due to the punishment his back has taken. He comes up off the canvas and drags Bo closer to the corner, then exits the ring, drawing cheers from the anticipating crowd, waiting for his next move. Zack climbs up onto the top rope, and with Bo not stirring he leaps off, sailing through the air with legs kicked out, dropping across Bo's throat with his patented flying legdrop! After landing, Zack again quivers in pain, the surge of pain from the landing shooting up his spine, but he forces himself to suck it up as he rolls onto his stomach and drapes one arm over Bo's chest and sloppily hooks a leg with the other! ONE! TWO! TH-NO! NO! Bo shoots a shoulder up at the last second! COLE They are fighting tooth and nail, trading falls, desperate for victory. Zack Malibu is hurting a bit more than his opponent, and much of that in the last few minutes has come due to his own actions! COACH Just like you have to spend money to make money, sometimes you've got to suffer to make others suffer! Zack leads Bo to his feet and goes to whip Bo into the corner, but Bo counters, and shoots Zack in...but Zack leaps onto the turnbuckles and up and over Bo as he charges in...then rapidly delivers a Zack Attack II to Bo's back as he stops himself short against the corner! Bo crumbles over the turnbuckles, but is led out by Zack, who manages to carry him over with a release German suplex! COLE Right there, note that Zack didn't hang on for the chain of suplexes! He knows he's got limitations now, and if Bo can take advantage of that weakness once again, that could spell the end for everyone's favorite prep! Zack gets up and heads for the ropes as Bo recovers, and brings his knee up for the original version of his trademark Zack Attack...but Bo pulls his head out of the way of Zack's knee! Zack stops his momentum before he sails over the ropes, and when he turns around he drops low and dodges a charging Bo, letting him sail over the top rope! Bo holds onto the top rope as he goes over, and comes up on the apron just as Zack pulls himself up! Malibu goes for a right hand, but Bo grabs his wrist and holds his arm as he comes around with a hard slap with his own right hand! Zack stumbles back, and Bo propels himself back into the ring with a slingshot shoulderblock! As groggy as they are, both men rise up from the mat once again, and Bo quickly snatches Zack and sets him up for a powerbomb...but gets backdropped over, which does no favors for Zack's back! Falling to one knee, Malibu winces before coming up and rushing the ropes, nailing Bo just as he stands with a leaping lariat! Zack then hits the other side and comes off once again with a second leaping lariat, dropping Bo yet again! Malibu waves his hands to work the crowd up, and as the sweat drips from his forehead he braces himself, eyeing Bo with a gleam in his eye that he's ready to end things here and now. Bo comes up off the canvas, and just as he does Zack zooms forward, sending a SCHOOL'S OUT headed right towards his jaw...but Bo sidesteps the superkick and quickly takes Zack and tosses him overhead with a release belly to belly suplex! COACH If there was a Prep Toss in the Olympic Games, I'd sign that man up, stat! Bo hovers over Zack, who is sprawled out on the canvas, and snickers before pulling him up to his feet. Trapping him in a front facelock, Bo lifts Zack upside down, stalling before dropping him with a suplex...but Malibu shows signs of life, as he kicks his legs in an effort to shift the weight and fall out of the move! Malibu's counter is successful, and he quickly spins Bo around, hits an inverted atomic drop, then a Northern Lights suplex that pins the big man's shoulders to the canvas! ONE! TWO! THRE-NO! NO! Bo escapes! COLE Another quick turn of events, bringing things back into Zack's favor, and another narrow escape from defeat for Bohemoth! COACH It's Anglemania quality right here on HeldDOWN~! Zack, again hurting because of having to bridge during that move, gets to his feet. Sore and battered, Zack brings Bo up, but gets shoved into the ropes, only to rebound right into a bearhug! Bo wrenches his thick arms around Zack's torso, trying to squeeze the life out of him and drain him of what little energy his has left...but a few quick headbutts drive Bo away, leaving him prone for Zack to hook him with an ANGLE SLA-NO! ZACK CAN'T LIFT HIM! ZACK CAN'T GET HIM UP! Zack again falls to one knee, tending to his back, while Bo wipes the sweat off his brow and comes forward, like a shark that smells blood...RIGHT INTO A SCHOOL'S OUT FROM ZACK MALIBU~! COLE He reeled him in! COACH Was he faking? He couldn't have been faking this whole time! COLE I don't know about faking it, Coach, but he certainly used that injury to set up an opening! Bo flops to the canvas, and Zack collapses on top of him, cradling the leg while the referee does his duty, all to the delight of the rabid crowd! ONE! TWO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! COLE HE DID IT! ZACK MALIBU DID IT! COACH I feel like I need a cold shower after that match! Those two took their feud to the next level, and look the at the fans applauding here, they're lovin' this! Many fans are on their feet, and those who aren't soon are, all roaring over the efforts of these two superstars tonight. As "Getting Away With Murder" booms over the PA to signify victory, Zack is helped up by the referee, who does one better and raises Zack's arm in the air, drawing an even louder response. COLE Give that man credit, fighting tooth and nail to the very end, and using that quick thinking to get a measure of revenge for Bo's disrespect at Anglemania. Zack moves over to the corner, leaning against the turnbuckles and catching his breath, while Bo rolls on the canvas. The referee checks on the big man, but as Bo slowly emerges from off the sweat stained canvas, he's nudged away, even when Bo nearly falls back over, still aching from the effects of that superkick. Bo shakes the cobwebs off, and when he does, he's face to face with Zack, who hobbles to center ring, staring his sometimes friend, sometimes foe dead in the eye. The two men lock gazes, and it's Zack who is the bigger man tonight, as he extends a hand to Bo once again, drawing a wild cheer from the crowd, as well as a chant. "SHAKE HIS HAND!" "SHAKE HIS HAND!" "SHAKE HIS HAND!" Bo looks into the crowd, and into the hard camera, as if to ask the home viewers what to do. He turns back to Zack and inches closer, his hand ready to shake Zack's...and then he wipes the sweat from his brow and flicks it in Zack's face before turning to leave! COLE Oh COME ON! Zack, incensed, goes and spins Bo around, and Bo shoves Zack down hard in retaliation! The referee immediately comes between the two before this can break down and orders Bo to the back, while Zack comes back to his feet, not only sore but now incredibly PO'd. COACH He dissed him again, Mikey Cole! COLE I don't get it...what is Bohemoth's deal with not wanting to respectully admit that Zack was the better man? COACH He wouldn't shake Zack's hand after the match that he won, so why would he do it after the one that he lost!? The crowd has gone from cheers to boos now, as Bo goes up the aisle, undaunted by the crowds thoughts of him at this moment. The big man doesn't even bother to turn and look back at the ring, simply disappearing behind the curtain, and leaving Zack alone in the ring, once again rejected, even in victory. FADE OUT. Edited May 19, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 (edited) Apparently the only places in Belfast worth visiting are the city hall and a church. also lol, at my poor planning, we're about to have three matches in a row! So we'll return to the arena where powerful shades of blue and red illumination flicker across the arena landscape, shrouding it totally in the glow. Tell me the story of how you ended up here I've heard it all in the hospital Still no love for the brave men of the OAOAST First Responders Unit, the duo met with scattered applause. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by OFFICER TANGO BOSLEY…from the OAOAST First Responders Unit... EMT TIM CCAAAAAASSSSHHHHHH!! Smiles and fist pumps are all Tango and Cash have to fire up the crowd, neither of which works. Then the wildest, wackiest piece of music nobody knows the name of because Patty forgot to say plays. My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14 That lovely little number brings out Jock Mulligan and his new lady friend, wielding a CAT O’ NINE TAILS WHIP. BUFFER And his opponent, led down the aisle by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns… MALAYSIA! From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds, the cock of the walk… “MR. DICK” JOCK MULLIGAN!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Having seen it all in their line of work, even Tango and Cash are taken aback by Malaysia. COACH There he is, Mikey, the cockiest individual in the OAOAST today joined by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns Malaysia. COLE Who Jock says is the only woman DOMINATING enough to handle The Dick. And I believe him. It looks to me she has some experience with that whip. The biggest shit-eating grin imaginable etched on his face, Jock removes a white headband with “DICK” written across in red ala the back of his trunks and HURLS it at EMT Tim. As Tim prepares to lunge forward Jock puts both hands up. All of a sudden remorseful, Jock apologizes for his actions and suckers Tim into shaking his hand… …KICK, DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN, HEADBUTT TO THE GROIN! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE How apropos is it for that to be called Just Being A Dick? Jock picks Tim up and delivers the COCK SHOCK! ONE… TWO… NO! Jock rolls off just to flex. Yes, flex. After enjoying himself on the AngleTron Jock lifts Tim across his shoulders for the COCK BLOCK… but Tim slips out and STRIKES BACK. Again and again. Reeling against the ropes Jock is whipped across and back dropped. He staggers to his feet and gets taken down by a MISSLE DROPKICK~! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The EMT heads straight back to the top with Jock laid out near the corner…AND STOMPS DOWN WITH BOTH FEET!! COLE Starting CPR is EMT Tim Cash. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COACH I can’t believe EMT Tim -- EMT TIM! -- almost handled The Dick. COLE What an upset that would’ve been. And what a devastating loss it would’ve been for Jock heading into his match with Leon Rodez at School’s Out. Tim signals for the SLEEPER HOLD, his Do Not Resuscitate finishing move, and LOCKS IT ON! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Officer Bosley keeps a close eye on Malaysia as Jock struggles to find a way out of the sleeper. Then a counter, as Jock goes under and drives Tim into the mat with a DIVING FULL NELSON SLAM!! COACH DAYUM~! That‘s what I call PURE PENETRATION! ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… “MR. DICK” JOCK MULLIGAN! Though his hand is raised in victory Jock continues to put the boots to EMT Tim, prompting Officer Bosley to intervene. * WHAP * BOSLEY WHIPPED by Malaysia, law enforcement’s finest is ready to use excessive force. Now face to face with the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns (we‘re gonna beat that phrase to the ground because Jim Ross taught us that‘s OK), Bosley is blindsided and the egotistical twosome go to work. "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd roars not for the assault on Rescue 911, but the arrival of LEON RODEZ~! * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * * JAB * Rodez blows a kiss to the fans and readies to deliver an enzurigi, but Malaysia yanks Jock out to the floor and the pair retreat. COLE The Silky Smooth One putting Mr. Dick on notice. What a match it’ll be at School’s Out from Albany, New York! Tickets are all sold out but you can join us from pay per view! Folks, we'll return with our mainevent in just a moment! SCHOOL'S OUT LEON RODEZ VS MISTER DICK JOCK MULLIGAN ONE AND ONLY WORLD TAG TITLES: TEAM HEYROSS VS THUNDERKID AND REJECT OAOAST WORLD TITLE:LANDON MADDIX VS PRL VS TODD CORTEZ ONLY ON PPV AND NEXT WEEK KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN RETURNS TO THE OAOAST RING NEXT WEEK! Edited May 16, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2008 COLE It's main-event time here in Belfast. But right now, we'd just like to take a second to thank all of the great fans who've come out and supported us during our tour of Europe. We've seen some great sights and met some great fans over the past month. It's been a blast. COACH Oh yeah. Just great. Go jetlag! COLE Well, most of us at the OAOAST would like to thank our European fans, anyway. And what better way to sign off on this tour than with, not only an AngleMania rematch earlier, but a big tag team match, with School's Out implications. The three participants in the main-event of School's Out in ten days time have finally taken shape. We've had shared number one contenderships, various stipulations, masked men, threatened suspensions... it's all been a confusing issue, thanks mainly to Landon Maddix. But now we know for sure, it'll be a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Title, the confusion can now make way to competition. COACH Well, we'll see. I'm sure Landon's still got something to say about what happened last week. COLE Not sure what you're talking about Coach. You heard PRL earlier, Cortez was with him all last Thursday. COACH What happened earlier was a travesty. Isn't giving someone a false alibi a criminal offence anymore? This is another reason why police should watch wrestling a little more. The kinda crap that goes on around here... "PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!" ...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Megalomaniac" powers out through the arena again and it's clear Landon hasn't used the time since he last stepped out into the arena to relax. Still with a face like thunder, Landon doesn't bother with his usual grand entrance and stomps like a bad-tempered child to the ring, angrily swatting away a "R.A.P KILLS" sign thrust in front of his face in the aisleway. BUFFER The following tag team contest is your HeldDOWN~! main-event of the evening, set for one fall! Introducing team number one. First, accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! From Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing two hundred, eight pounds. He is the leader of Cucaracha Internacional and the former OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion... LLLAAAAAAAAANNDDOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon paces around the ring while Megan sets herself in the corner, figuring if she hasn't been able to calm her man down by now she's not going to, period. COLE When Landon touched down in Belfast, he had one thing on his mind, carrying through his threat of landing Todd Cortez with a thirty day suspension for using the Riot Act Plus in the OAOAST. But things didn't quite go as he expected, thanks to Tha Puerto Rican, who definately made up for his mistake at The Milan Spectacular. COACH Mistake? Come on, you don't buy that! COLE I buy that Landon manipulated PRL to get Cortez disqualified, as part of his big plan to get a share of the number one contendership. And I also buy that, although Todd lost his one on one match at School's Out, PRL made sure he wouldn't lose his title shot altogether. With Landon still pacing "Oh No" hits and out marches his thorn in the side of so long, Todd Cortez. The Urban Legend walks through the sparkles of his pyrotechnics and down to the ring, where Landon is doing his best to stare him down, showing no emotion either way towards La Cucaracha. BUFFER Hailing from Hollywood Boulevard... he weighs in at two hundred, twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOOOOOORRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon whispers something in Buffer's ear. BUFFER ...and, he also represents Cucaracha Internacional! That serves to get under Cortez's skin, as intended no doubt, as Landon quickly bails from the ring when Todd slides in. Landon tells Todd "not to forget it, pal", while The Urban Legend stands gazing over the ropes right by his supposed 'boss'. COLE Cortez is, whether he likes it or not, under Landon's orders. But that won't be the case in ten days time. COACH It will be if he knows what's good for him. It's time for Cortez to finally fall in line! "THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP..." *DUN DUN* "...IS..." *DUN* "...HERE!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance and the PRL and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, to the delight of the Belfast crowd. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entryway and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds pass and then Tha Puerto Rican power walks to the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship now draped over his shoulder. PRL stops as he gets to ringside though, not intending on hitting the ring just yet now Landon has slid back in and stands side by side with Cortez. BUFFER And introducing the opponents... first, from San Juan, Puerto Rico... weighing in at two hundred, twenty pounds. He is the reigning One And Only AngleSault Thread WORLD Heavyweight Champion... ladies and gentlemen, this is... THA PUUUUUEEEEEEEERRTOOOOOOOO RRIIIIIIIIIIIICCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" PRL smells the Irish electricity in the air and nods his head approvingly. COACH Well I hope PRL's happy with what he did earlier. COLE He looks it. COACH Okay, let me rephrase that. I hope PRL's still happy with what he did earlier once School's Out is over. I doubt it somehow. Suddenly, a piano plays a melody causing the crowd to cheer loudly and a smile to appear on PRL's face. COLE Well, whadda you know! The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. "COME ON!" *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing as Colombian Heat rushes out onto the stage, getting the crowd fired up. Heat runs to both sides of the entrance stage and fires that section of the arena up. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. BUFFER And his tag team partner! Originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. He weighs in at one hundred and eighty pounds... the OAOAST United States Heavyweight Champion... CCOOOOOLLLLLLLOOOOOOOMMMMMBBIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANN... HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And, together, they are... THE BADD BOYZ!!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Alright! The World Champion and the United States Champion, teaming up here tonight in Belfast! Badd Boyz, Whatcha Gonna Do!? COACH Vomit. As Heat reaches ringside he slaps PRL on the back and The Badd Boyz smile up at Landon and Cortez. Removing their seperate title belts, PRL and Heat set them down at ringside. Heat jumps impatiently on the spot as PRL counts them down, from 3 to 1, at which point they collectively hit the ring! *DINGDINGDING!* Landon immediately jumps PRL, while Heat manages to get to his feet and meet Cortez with right hands, a slugfest ensuing between the two. Shoving PRL outside, Landon follows and their fight goes to the floor. Meanwhile, Heat gets the upper hand on Cortez and shoots him off the ropes. Cortez ducks a clothesline, then catches Heat with his head down and hoists him up, hooking for a powerbomb. Hanging onto the right leg Heat refuses to go up though and counters with a backdrop. Cortez hangs on as well, pulling Heat down with a sunset flip, only for the US Champ to roll through to his feet with a basement dropki... NO! Cortez drops down, avoiding the feet. Both men scramble back to their feet... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and Cortez connects with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Heat comes right back. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" But so does Cortez. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Heat. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Chop by Cortez. COLE We've got a fight in the ring and we've got one right by us, LOOK OUT! *THUD!* Sofa Central is a person larger as Landon reverses an attempted whip by the World Champion and PRL goes crashing hip first into the side of the announce table!! PR goes flying over the table and into the sofa, laid out right by the gleeful Coach. Back in the ring meanwhile, the exchange of strikes has come to an end thanks to three well placed kicks from Cortez. Backing Heat up against the ropes, Cortez delivers a European uppercut. He then sends Heat off, setting himself for a backbody drop... but Heat LANDS ON HIS FEET! Getting his footing, Heat manages to bypass Cortez as he charges in, then catches him off the ropes with a picturesque standing dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... No! Heat watches Cortez to his feet and prepares to unleash his own educated feet. The US Champ delivers a kick to the chest. And a second. Getting his forearms up, Todd manages to block a third though. Quickly The Urban Legend stomps on Heat's left foot. And as Heat instinctively grabs his throbbing foot, Cortez catches him hopping around and sweeps out the standing leg from underneath him! Cover by Cortez... 1... 2... No! Side headlock applied by Cortez. Heat delivers elbows to the ribs to break free and hits the ropes, swinging and missing with a clothesline, getting caught instead with a Backslide... 1... 2... Heat kicks out and grabs hold of Cortez, turning him into a Backslide instead... 1... 2... No! COLE Are we on? Guys in the truck? ... COLE Apparantly we are on, but Coach isn't. Can't argue with that! With a succession of elbows, Heat subdues Cortez. The United States Champion then goes to hit the ropes again... but runs right into a Dropsault from Landon Maddix!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Calling the shots now, Landon gets Cortez to assist him in pulling Heat back up. The uneasy team-mates try to do so, but Landon's insistence in clubbing Heat in the back on the way up makes it harder for Todd to do as he's told. Eventually they get Heat up and shoot him off the ropes. That's as far as the tag team cohesion goes, as Landon connects with a dropkick while Cortez connects with a back elbow instead. COLE Cucaracha Internacional, not exactly in synch. Petulently, Landon holds his hands on his hips while Cortez gets on with things with a cover... 1... 2... No! Clearly Maddix isn't happy and instead of getting on with things, his already shortened temper causes him to get on Todd's case. The two go nose to nose as Landon reads his partner the riot act (no pun intended). As they argue, it allows Tha Puerto Rican to slide back into the ring and slam their heads together with the classic DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER~! COLE PRL introducing his two School's Out opponents to one another, as if they needed it! Nursing his hip a little, PRL goes right after Landon, laying into him with right jabs. "YYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" As PRL goes to work though, Cortez creeps up behind him and spins him around into right hands of his own! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" From behind, Heat blindsights Todd with a double axehandle, referee Mike Chioda with no control whatsoever at the moment. All four men in and brawling. Eventually Cortez and Landon get the better of PRL and Heat respectively and pull off stereo irish whips. The two number one contenders get momentarily distracted with each other though and get wiped out, as PRL and Heat come back with stereo flying forearms and stereo kip-ups back to their feet! COLE The Badd Boyz are bringing it in Belfast! COACH -cking headset on, right the HECK now! Oh! Thanks guys. Damn PR pulled one of my cables out Michael! COLE Ever get the feeling somebody's trying to tell you something? Maddix has had enough and rolls to the outside, throwing his hands up in frustration. The Badd Boyz leave him go and take over on Cortez. A double irish whip sets up a double elbow, showing that they are in synchronicity at least. With Cortez down, Heat bounces off the ropes and does a SHIMMY~!, dropping a knee to the face. Seconds later, PRL follows up off the same ropes, shakes his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off and drops the fist! COLE Shaky Leg Kneedrop and a Five Knuckle Shuffle! COACH The two most ridiculous moves in the OAOAST... at least now the Riot Act Plus is banned, anyway. Holding his hands up PR accepts he shouldn't be in the ring and heads to the corner. That leaves Heat to make the cover... 1... 2... No! Front facelock applied, Heat brings Cortez into the corner and allows the World Champion to tag in. PRL quickly climbs to the top, "smelling the electricity" again before dropping The People's Axe across the lower back of Cortez. Spinning Todd around, PRL then unloads with a succession of punches. Backing Todd up against the ropes, he sends him for the ride with an (northern) irish whip. Leapfrog by PRL! Reverse leapfrog! And an armdrag, patented PRL as he hangs onto an armbar. PRL then takes Cortez back to the corner for another tag. COLE Quick tags by The Badd Boyz now, cutting the ring in half on The Urban Legend. Heat takes over with a kick to the ribs and irish whips Cortez. Emulating his partner, he pulls off a leapfrog. Cortez puts on the brakes right behind Heat this time. But Heat has eyes in the back of his head and delivers the Pele Kick before Todd can strike!! DON WEST OH, THE PELE! HE GOT HIM WITH THE PELE MIKE! UNBELIEVABLE, HE CAN HIT IT FROM ANYWHERE AND OH MAN THIS CROWD IS GOING AB-SOLUTELY WILD! MIKE TENAY Zetroc is Cortez spelled backwards! ...uh, cover by Heat! 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Cortez back up, Heat fires off a couple of quick kicks to the body. With Cortez softened up, Heat then runs the ropes... ...but gets a knee in the back from the outside from Landon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE There's a cheapshot! Heat stumbles off the ropes, but instead of capitalising Cortez turns to his corner and asks Landon what the hell he's doing! Another brief arguement breaks out between the two, until Heat shakes off the knee and knocks Landon off the apron with a dropkick! But Heat then turns around and gets takes off his feet with an STO by Cortez! 1... 2... No! Getting back up, Cortez again yells at Landon for his unwanted help as he climbs back to the apron. Landon responds by tagging himself in and putting the boots to Colombian Heat. COACH Cortez better learn to accept help if he wants to be World Champion at School's Out. COLE What makes you think he needs help to do so? COACH He's Todd Cortez, of course he needs Landon's help. That's Todd Cortez in a nutshell. Taking out his frustrations for the first time legally, Landon sends Heat into a neutral corner. Full head of steam, he follows up with a leaping forearm smash in the turnbuckles. Grabbing hold of the head, Landon then runs Heat right back to the opposite corner and face-first into the top turnbuckle pad. Down goes Heat and Landon turns to PRL, mouthing off to draw the World Champion into the ring. Referee Chioda steps in and sure enough, Maddix chokes Heat across the middle rope behind his back to a disapproving look from Cortez in the corner. PRL is sent back to the corner and Chioda turns around to see Landon still in the act... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FO..." ...and Landon is happy to break clean, having had the choke on for a good ten seconds already. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" COACH I can't understand a word of this Irish 'brogue'. They all sound permanently drunk, which is of course very possible. Pulling Heat off the ropes, Maddix slams the US Champion down in the centre of the ring. Landon then tags in Cortez and calls for him to bodyslam him. A tempting prospect, indeed. Cortez scoops Landon up and the Belfast crowd holler for him to slam La Cucaracha down onto the mat. But Todd shows enormous restraint and instead slams Maddix onto Heat's chest... although definately with some added vigour. Landon kinda regrets his idea as he rubs his back, while Todd makes the cover... 1... 2... Broken up by PRL! Cortez glares at the World Champion as he leaves the ring, the glaring getting under PRL's skin and he enters the ring to ask what The Urban Legend's problem is. In the backdrop to all this, Landon quickly enters the ring, leaping onto Heat's chest with a double stomp and dropping out with a back senton for good measure! COLE A perfect example of Landon and Todd's relationship, right there. Maddix using an unwitting Cortez to get an advantage. COACH Now I know Cortez ain't the brightest bulb, but 'unwitting'? Is that called for? As Cortez turns around, Landon urges him to go for a cover. Smelling a rat, Todd doesn't do so and instead tags in Landon to finish his dirty work himself... 1... 2... No! "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Maddix traps Heat in a rear chinlock, but the chanting seems to awaken something in the Colombian and his body starts to shake with energy. Shaking his head 'no', Landon tries to keep Heat down. But Heat fights to his feet and with fists shaking, he delivers an elbow to the gut. A second. And a third, freeing himself. Heat then hits the ropes and comes charging back, only to get swept up into the air and Samoan Dropped! COACH He learnt that one from Faqu! Reaching back, Landon hooks a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! Another tag is made and Landon again calls the shots as the former Martial Law pick Colombian Heat back up. They send him off the ropes and with some very awkward teamwork they throw a double clothesline... ducked! Heat comes off the opposite ropes and Landon and Todd try again. But Heat dives forward across the joined hands, breaking the double-line and sending Landon and Cortez into a collision of heads! COLE OH! Great thinking by Heat! Cortez and Landon stumble around dazed and start arguing again, as Heat rolls to his corner and GETS THE TAG! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE There's the tag! COACH Come on Landon, take control! Springing off the apron, PRL leaps to the top rope and wipes BOTH opponents out with Flying Clotheslines! Scrambling to his feet, he ducks a shot from Landon and unloads with a succession of punches until La Cucaracha is sent sprawling through the ropes to the floor. PR then cuts Cortez off and spins him into a corner. The World Champion stomps a mini mudhole in the chest of The Urban Legend before sending him coast to coast and across the ring. Following in, PR takes flight and crushes Cortez with a Stinger Splash! Out staggers Cortez, into an Enziguri! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! The World Champion picks Cortez back up and whips him to the ropes. He goes up for a leapfrog... NO! SITOUT SPINEBUSTER!! COLE Great counter by Cortez!! 1... 2... No! Both PRL and Cortez are slow to their feet now, which allows Landon to come back in with forearms to The P.R Menace. Referee Chioda tries to get him leave, but he's not listening. Putting the badmouth on the World Champion, Landon looks for an irish whip... but PRL reverses... KICK! *WHAM!* CAPPA KILLA!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Out of the ring bounces Maddix, PRL all fires up and yelling obscenities at La Cucaracha... before turning around into a goozle and the URBAN ASSAULT!! COLE Cortez may have him! 1... 2... SAVE BY HEAT!! COLE No! Todd Cortez, half a second away from pinning the World Champion! Heat clubbers away on Cortez before sending him for the ride to the corner. Todd gets his foot up in the corner however, then charges off the ropes. Dazed, Heat staggers out into the centre and into the path of the HOLLOW POOOOOOOIIIIII... ...NO! HEAT SIDESTEPS! Hitting the middle rope, Cortez pushes himself away and walks right into the waiting arms of Colombian Heat who drives him face-first to the canvas with a Flatliner! COLE How's that Pimp Juice taste? Heat turns Cortez over and goes for the pin, but referee refuses to count since the Colombian isn't the legal man. So, instead he jumps back up and runs the ropes, coming back with a front roll with the 'Where The Hood At?'... ONTO THE KNEES!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH How's that broken back taste? COLE That doesn't even make sense. Out rolls Heat, while Cortez picks himself back up. Waiting for him is PRL, spinning The Urban Legend around and unloading with a punch. Another. And another. And another. Stop, spit... and a final big left hand! Cortez wobbles but doesn't go down, so PRL runs the ropes and dares Todd to Dodge THIS, BITCH~! He doesn't and gets a foot in the face for his trouble. PRL I'M GOIN' UP! "YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!" Tha Puerto Rican quickly grabs the nearest limb and drags Cortez into position. Once he's got The Urban Legend where he wants him, Tha Puerto Rican then exits the ring and climbs the top rope. The crowd stands up and cheers wildly, getting behind their World Champion. PRL stands up on the top rope, removes his elbow pad, and throws it down on the mat. PR motions to the crowd, and then leaps off the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air... ...AND HITS THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW DROP!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Can I get a lawsuit on that? You know what, nevermind, just add it to the pile. PRL jumps back to his feet and signals that "THAT'S IT!" COLE PRL looking to end this one. Grabbing hold of Cortez by the head, PRL hooks on the front facelock and reaches up for a grab of the tights for leverage on the lift. But Cortez spins out and by the wrist, he pulls the World Champ towards him AND NAILS HIM WITH A THRUST KICK UNDER THE JAW!! On the outside meanwhile, Colombian Heat gets dropped with a CUCARACHA CUTTER ON THE RAMPWAY!! Cover by Cortez in the ring... 1... 2... NO! Cortez stands back up and encourages PRL to his feet. The P.R Menace is unsteady on his feet still and walks right into a boot, Cortez dragging him right into a standing headscissors instinctively. COLE Oh no, he can't do this... COACH Go ahead, do it! Realising quickly that a Riot Act is out of the question, Cortez adapts and picks PRL up for a Powerbomb. PRL rains down punches to the top of the head to counter though, pushing himself out in front and onto his feet. Cortez swings and misses with a clothesline, then turns around and gets caught for the LATIN SLA... ...NO! Cortez elbows himself free and picks PRL up for the Powerbomb again. PRL again rains down with the punches to try and save himself. But Cortez suddenly falls backwards and sends Tha Puerto Rican crashing face-first into the top turnbuckle!! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL staggers back off the buckles and gets caught with a German Suplex, with a bridge! 1... 2... NO, KICKOUT! COLE Nice couple of moves there. Only two, but PRL is in trouble with Colombian Heat seemingly out of it in the aisleway. COACH It's School's Out come early. He's all alone with Landon and Cortez. And he's not gonna win! Back up, PRL falls into a corner groggily. In runs Cortez looking to connect on a clothesline in the corner, but PRL comes to life and sidesteps, causing Cortez to crash into the corner. His corner, as it turns out, when Landon jumps to the apron and slaps Todd in the back to initiate a blind tag. Landon quickly gets back down to the floor as PRL lands a clothesline on Cortez though. COLE Referee saw that tag I think, but I'm not so sure Landon wants it anymore. Bringing Cortez out of the corner, PRL looks to deliver the P.R Nightmare again. Cortez shoves him off and backwards into the ropes. Back comes PRL with a clothesline again, ducked by Todd, but PRL stops in his tracks... KICK! *WHAM!* CAPPA KI... ...NO! Cortez shoves PRL off again. PRL stops short of the ropes... ...but Landon leaps to the apron from nowhere and hangs him over the top rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit, Landon from the outside! Away from the ropes staggers Tha Puerto Rican and Cortez, having not seen Landon's involvement, quickly capitalises. He delivers a thrust kick to the gut, then picks PRL up over his shoulder. Reaching up, he inches his hands up around PR's chin and hovers him over the canvas... before popping him backwards into a neckbreaker from off the rack!! COLE NECKWRECKER! COACH But wait, because the best is yet to come! Before Cortez can get the cover, in slides Landon like a thief in the night. He hauls PRL quickly back to his feet and hoists him up into the fireman's carry, Cortez looking on stunned as Maddix throws the World Champion up... ...and CRACKS HIM WITH THE KNEE ON THE WAY DOWN!! COACH GO TO SLEEP~! COLE You've gotta be kidding me! As the referee tries to explain that Landon's legal to Cortez, he gets a loud and clear visual message as Landon hooks up both legs of PRL and pins him down with all he's worth, Megan counting along on the floor... 1... 2... 3!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Landon Maddix pins the World Champion! *DINGDINGDING!* "Megalomaniac" cues up, Colombian Heat falling short of the save and falling dejectedly off the apron. Jumping to his feet, Landon's mood does a complete 180 as he rolls out of the ring and dives into the arms of Megan to celebrate his big victory. Still stunned, Cortez looks on trying to take in what just happened with victory stolen from right under his nose. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of TODD CORTEZ and LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX... CUCARACHA INTERNNAAAAACCIIIIIIOOOOOOOOONNAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I think Cortez might have had PRL beat. But we'll never know, thanks to Landon Maddix! Yet again he profits from Todd's hard work... and is this a prelude of what's to come at School's Out!? Landon and Megan continue to savour the victory, with their 'tag team partner' certainly not happy about how it went down. Todd stands with hands on hips, looking down at the flat out World Champion. PRL is knocked loopy from the G2S and stares up at the Belfast lights, with Landon beaming away at the scene. COLE Landon Maddix is standing tall tonight. Will this be a sign of things to come? Will the plan come together again in ten nights time? From Belfast, we thank you for joining us. Next week, we return home to the US and tensions will for sure be running high! Goodnight, we'll see you next week from Hartford! COACH HOLLA! FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
