King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted May 23, 2008 (edited) [i]A compilation of moments from the five year OAOAST tenure of Tha Puerto Rican plays, with an soft piano chorus in the background. From his debut in January '03, through the IntenseZone days, to the present. IntenseZone Elbows, Latin Slams, shots of PRL on the microphone. PRL with the 24/7 Title, the Puerto Rican Title, even the HI-YAH Tag Team Title.[/i] [b]VOICEOVER He is... an OAOAST mainstay.[/b] [i]Stephen Joseph Popick and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are still in their heated argument. The crowd cheers, hoping for Jesse to get into a physical altercation with Popick. But before Popick and Jesse "The Body" Ventura can come to blows, Tha Puerto Rican sneaks up behind Popick and leaps onto his shoulders. Popick tries to throw PRL off his shoulders, but to no avail. Finally, Tha Puerto Rican rolls forward into a victory roll! NO! Stephen Joseph Popick REVERSES the victory roll into one of his own, wrapping PRL, while grabbing a hold of his tights! Referee Jesse "The Body" Ventura counts. 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (24:55) CABOOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COLE Stephen Joseph cheated to win again! Stephen Joseph has retained the OAOAST World Title![/i] [b]VOICEOVER After five years of effort...[/b] [i]Maddix quickly knocks down Malibu and lifts PRL up, into the fireman's carry, turning him away from the ropes before delivering the GO 2 SLEE... *SMACK!* ...SCHOOL'S OUT!! COLE SCHOOL'S OUT! HE GOT HIM, RIGHT ON THE BUTT... ONE! COLE WAIT! TWO! COLE WAIT NO, ZACK! THREEEEEE!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! Zack, having realised what was happening a second too late in his exhaustion, dogpiles on top of the fall just as the three comes down.[/i] [b]VOICEOVER ...five years of guts and determination...[/b] [i]Zack drills PRL with an ANGLESLAM which rocks the floor of the third cell!! But as he and PRL lay out in the cage, Popick has his hands on the roof of Cage 3 and is on his way to the belt! COLE Popick just sold PRL out! He sold him out to get the belt! ****** Back up, Cortez latches onto the wall of Cage 3 and makes a last, desperate attempt to climb up! But Popick is away now and out of reach. Popick pushes himself onto the roof of Cage 3, looking down 40 plus feet to the ring below, to Landon in Cage 1, to Bohemoth in Cage 2, to Zack Malibu and PRL below him, taking a last glance back at Cortez before steadying his jelly legs... COACH Just don't look down! ...AND GRABBING THE TITLE BELT DOWN FROM THE CEILING, DEFLATING THE CROWD!!![/i] [b]VOICEOVER ...finally, his time came.[/b] [i]Tha Puerto Rican grabs his right elbow pad, removes it from his arm, and then throws it into the crowd. As the fans fight over the prized elbow pad, PRL does some weird hand signals that are still hard to describe five years later, and then runs backwards into the ropes, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, jumps over Stephen Joseph Popick, runs forward... COLE It is now time for the most electrifying move in professional wrestling, The Puerto Rico Elbow! PRL hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, stops in his tracks, puts his right foot into the air, extends his right arm into the air... and then drops his right elbow into Stephen Joseph Popick's chest! The Puerto Rico Elbow! ****** COLE HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS FINALLY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! All 100,000 plus fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum go nuts! Tha Puerto Rican bursts into tears! "Know Your Role 2000" starts playing. BUFFER Here is your winner... and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd... THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE He has done it! After 10 long years, Tha Puerto Rican has become World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican's journey has culminated at OAOAST AngleMania VII! COACH OH GOD! THIS IS AWFUL! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gone through hell and high water! But he has become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career![/i] [b]VOICEOVER For all the blood...[/b] [i]Thunderkid casually walks over to Tha Puerto Rican, who is starting to get up. PRL reaches out for something, anything, but instead, gets grabbed by Thunderkid. Thunderkid gets on his knees, grabs PRL by his hair, and then tries stabbing PRL with that spike! COLE What the hell? What the hell? Is he crazy? Is he doing what I think he is doing? COACH He is destroying PRL! COLE He's going to kill him! PRL fights back the 'spike'. He tries with all of his might to stop the 'spike' from entering his body, but can't. THUNDERKID STARTS CARVING THA PUERTO RICAN’S FOREHEAD WITH THE 'SPIKE'!!! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH This is sick![/i] [b]VOICEOVER ...and all the sacrifice...[/b] [i]PRL almost falls, but his fingers are still just about laced around the steel mesh. Until Bohemoth carefully turns side on, reaching out... ...PUSHING PRL... *THUD!!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" ...AND HE FALLS FROM HALFWAY UP THE CELL, COMPLETELY TAKING OUT THE CORNER SECTION OF THE BARRICADE ON HIS WAY DOWN!!!!!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" The announcers are silent. A solitary airhorn goes off in the background. PRL lays on the thick, curved corner section of the barricade. Blood is still flowing down his face. His arms and legs are splayed out and security guards have converged around him to keep the fans at bay.[/i] [b]VOICEOVER ...the reward was all the sweeter[/b] [i]Earl Hebner has also left the ring. This leaves PRL all alone in the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The camera does a wide pan of the thousands in attendance standing up and cheering Tha Puerto Rican on as "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing. PRL manages to crack a smile amidst all of his tears. He gives the fans The People's Eyebrow, and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the crowd! Tha Puerto Rican lets out a primal scream, tears of joy flowing down his face. [/i] [size=4][b][color="red"]**THA PUERTO RICAN: LIVE THE DREAM**[/b][/size][/color] As the video fades out, we find ourselves on a close-up on none other than LANDON MADDIX. The camera pans out to reveal the rest of Cucaracha Internacional behind him, including Todd Cortez, standing off to the side of the rest. Landon chuckles to himself as Cortez looks on wearily. MADDIX Oh boy. What a pile of crap, huh? Tha Puerto Rican, living proof that if at first you don't succeed, try try again... and again... and again... then, eventually after five years, you might finally achieve what you started five years earlier. Derisive laughter from Black and Blonde behind Landon pauses him for a second. MADDIX Fact is, it took me less than year to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Doesn't make for quite the same emotional story to cut an inspirational video for. But, it does prove that I'm twice the man... or, maybe that should be FIVE times the man that Tha Puerto Rican is. Did I get a video package after I beat Zack Malibu? No. Did I get the accolades and ass kissing that PRL's gotten since AngleMania? No again. Does any of that matter? Not one bit. You see, what I did was I got on with the task at hand. Being OAOAST Champion. I didn't sit at home while announcers put me over and videos played chronicling my career. I got in the ring and, shock horror, I actually competed. Where's PRL the competitor, huh? You guys seen him around? BLONDE Not since you pinned him last week! Cortez scowls at that, scowling at Blonde as he smirks his way. MADDIX Exactly. The fact is, after five years I'm sure you're planning to be in this for the long haul PR. Maybe that's why you haven't defended your title once since winning it? Maybe that's why you spent the European tour sitting on your ass in San Juan while the rest of us put the work in? I don't know, that's merely speculation. All I know is, this five year journey is going to become the biggest anti-climax in OAOAST history when you lose the World Title in your first defence at School's Out! Your proud two month reign of doing absolutely NOTHING is how you're going to be remembered when you're gone, alongside the images of me knocking you senseless with the Go To Sleep again and me standing over your motionless body with the OAOAST World Title held high. Landon turns around to his crew. MADDIX You see, we all have dreams. Every human being in the world has their dreams. The dirty fact of life is though, only a few of us are good enough to live those dreams. It's sad that few will fulfill those dreams. What's sadder still, are those who can't accept that fact. Clearly Landon is directing this little life lesson towards Cortez more-so than the other Cucaracha Internacional members, causing him to straighten up a little. MADDIX This Sunday night, I will become a four-time World Champion. I can either do it the easy way... or, it can be done the hard way. The result will be the same. The repercussions, however, will not. Turning back to the camera, Landon's mood brightens. MADDIX That said, PRL, enjoy your last days as World Champion. I just hope it was worth the wait. Because at School's Out, you're the People's Dunce and I'm the Cucarach-A+ student! (begins to walk off) Puns are AWESOME! Following after their leader go Black, Blonde and Faqu. But before Cortez can, albeit belatedly, join them he's stopped at arm's length by Megan Skye. MEGAN You understand what he was saying, right? CORTEZ As much as any one human could I suppose. MEGAN Look, if you help Landon out Sunday, things are going to be a lot easier for you. He'll be so happy to be World Champ again, it'll be like these past few months never happened. And if you do make the mistake of taking the World Title, Landon'll make you live to regret it. That's not a threat Todd, we both know what he's like. Just... just fall in line already, okay? Cortez smiles to himself. CORTEZ I appreciate the concern. But we're way past that point now Megan. MEGAN Please? Not even for me? Megan gives Todd the old puppy eyes treatment, to which The Urban Legend isn't entirely won over by. CORTEZ What did I ever see in a scheming bitch like you? MEGAN (plumps breasts) These? CORTEZ Yeah... nice try, but if I'm responsible for anybody winning that title on Sunday, it'll be me. Brushing past Megan, Cortez strides off, leaving his former love interest to rue failing to get Cortez onside after all. Edited May 23, 2008 by King Cucaracha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
