Tony149 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2008 (edited) The PENIS-COPTER that made national headlines this past week flies towards the entranceway from underneath the overhead arena jumbotron, exploding upon reaching its destination to [b][color="#808000"]shower the stage with golden pyro[/color][/b]. [i]My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14[/i] The music sounds and the Dick, the whip and the Amazonian bitch stroll down the ramp. BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Currently on his way to the ring, accompanied by the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns, MALAYSIA! From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds, the cock of the walk… MISTER DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Jock removes his cowboy and poses on the turnbuckles, arms spread, as Malaysia cracks the whip. COACH Doesn’t that make you wish Malaysia would step on your pubes? COLE My God, no! Malaysia rubs Jock down as "Rock The Casbah" is cued, bringing the fans to their feet. BUFFER And his opponent! Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan, weighing 218 pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Leon soaks in the atmosphere, acknowledging several pro-Rodez signs and banners. Big smile on his face, the New Age Love Machine sprints to the ring and poses on the very turnbuckle Jock Mulligan did minutes earlier to a thunderous ovation. MR. DICK (looking around) :angry: COACH Wait a second, Mikey. How come Jock didn’t receive a rousing introduction from Michael Buffer like Leon Rodez did? COLE Because he’s a dick. Let’s not forget, it was his actions on The Love Shack that lead us to where we are this evening. COACH It’s just like you to blame a guy you don’t like, Cole. Leon Rodez is the one who started everything. He speared a guy trying to find his contact lens. COLE Jock doesn’t even wore contacts! Off comes the robe and Leon Rodez is ready for battle. Rodez and Mulligan eye to eye and nose to nose as referee Nick Patrick sounds the bell. * DINGDING * Mr. Dick lays the verbal smack down on Rodez, poking his finger into the Silky Smooth One’s chest, which is promptly swatted away. Leon used to doing the poking and not the poked in his previous line of employment. Jock takes exception to Leon’s exception and throws a punch, but Rodez ducks under and executes an atomic drop. Doubled over, Mr. Dick again comes face to face with Leon Rodez, who lifts him up for a series of INVERTED ATOMIC DROPS!! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10!!! COACH 10. 10 inverted atomic drops. A bit excessive don’t you think, Mikey? COLE I think Leon’s getting even for what happened this past week on HeldDOWN~! Jock sells the atomic drops in comedic fashion. But there’s nothing funny about the Irish whip and SITOUT HIPTOSS that follows, only pain. Rodez hooks the leg. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! And Mr. Dick rolls outside to regroup as Leon receives the adulation of the fans inside. COLE Things not looking too good for Mister Dick here in the early going. COACH Early being the keyword. Jock re-enters the ring and locks up with Rodez, quickly grabbing him in a side headlock. Leon shoots Mr. Dick off to the ropes and eats a shoulder tackle. Rodez pops to his feet and leapfrogs Mulligan, catching him on the rebound with an OVERHEAD SUPLEX! ONE… TWO… NO! Mr. Dick kicks out and Leon avoids a clothesline. Rolling Sole BUTT finds its mark and Jock is set for an EXPLODER SUPLEX…but he fights back, landing a series of elbows to the head to break free. The Grand Rapids Golden Child ducks a DISCUS PUNCH and brings Jock down in CRUCIFIX-- NO, JOCK FALLS STRAIGHT BACK, SQUASHING RODEZ LIKE A BUG! “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" High vertical suplex leaves Rodez laying in the center of the ring, and then Jock drops a big elbow. ONE… TWO… And again Leon kicks out. The New Age Love Machine refusing to go down quietly. Mr. Dick’s imposing lady friend distracts the referee as he HEADBUTTS LEON IN THE GROIN! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Mr. Dick living up to his name. Just Being A Dick. You love that, don’t you, Coach? COACH You say that with a lot of distain. I bet you go to sleep at night dreaming of Jock performing that act on you. Mr. Dick throws Leon outside and has a chat with referee Nick Patrick as Malaysia… [color="#FF0000"][b]* WHAP * * WHAP * * WHAP *[/b][/color] ….WHIPS the Silky Smooth One, leaving welts on his back! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, come on. It’s turned into a handicap match now. Jock rolls Leon back in and slaps the side of his leg to signal for the STIFF KICK. He lunges forward, but Rodez sidesteps and lands a jab! JAB! JAB! JAB! Leon turns to blow a kiss to the crowd, then wallops Mr. Dick upside the cranium with an enziguri! COLE MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Jock stumbles forward and throat-first onto the middle rope, lighting Rodez’s eyes up like a Christmas tree as he sees an opening to CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" His strength zapped by that move one, Jock falls back in perfect position for a 450 SPLASH!! NO!!! “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” MR. DICK GETS IT UP! HIS KNEES THAT IS! COACH (laughs) Mama said knock that bitch bojangles. Jock toys with Leon, paint brushing him while talking smack. Rodez is stomped on the head and whipped into the buckle, the recipient of a CORNER CROSSBODY BLOCK. COLE What impact. COACH You know what he calls that, Mikey? And you’ll love this. Bite My Giant Dick! Running bulldog coming up, but Leon hurls Jock in the air and down. The worse for wear Rodez bumbles around and into a STIFF KICK! ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" MR. DICK :huh: "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Looking to silence the crowd and end the match, Jock goes for the COCK BLOCK…BUT LEON ROLLS THROUGH AND COUNTERS WITH A MIDAIR HIPTOSS. Rodez leapfrogs Mulligan and nails him with a FLYING FOREARM! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Leon Rodez has all the momentum on his side now, whipping Mr. Dick to the buckle…SUPERMAN SPEAR! Jock takes a nosedive mid-ring, and Rodez looks to lock on the LIONTAMER, but Malaysia hops on the apron and grabs the attention of not only referee Nick Patrick but Leon Rodez as well. COLE Do your job and get her down from there, ref. She has no business on the apron. COACH You don’t honestly believe Nick Patrick could get Malaysia to back down? Why she’d wipe the floor with him. As thought, Malaysia’s created a distraction so Mr. Dick can grab the WHIP she left behind in the far corner. Jock wraps it around his fist and slowly begins to creep up on Rodez. Then a loud ROAR, as BARON WINDELS enters through the crowd and serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT on his former partner! COACH The hell? Where did he come from? COLE I don’t know, but he just got a measure of revenge on the man who turned his back on him and millions of fans. Leon notices Jock on the mat, shrugs his shoulders and makes the cover. COACH Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. ONE… TWO… THREE!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RRRRRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!! Smiling from ear to each amongst a sea of fans, Baron pumps his fist as Leon’s hand is raised in victory. Referee Nick Patrick then chased up the ramp by Malaysia, who returns to assist Mister Dick. COLE Mister Dick may need a couple of aspirins to relive his headache after being spiked on his head by Baron Windels. COACH This is a travesty, Cole. I bet Leon had Baron waiting in the wings because he knew Mister Dick was the better man. COLE Just keep telling yourself that. Right now… Edited May 24, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
