HD: Cucaracha Internacional interview

[King Cucaracha 0]

Our memories take a warming trip back to the 80s as we take a trip backstage to the OAOAST Update Center! Stood at the OAOAST Wrestling podium, a platinum backdrop with a shadowed figure performing the ankle lock on some poor soul smack in the center, is Tony Schiavone, same suit, same microphone but unfortunately missing that kickin' moustache he used to have.

SCHIAVONE
Fans, Tony Schiavone here with a late breaking announcement directly from OAOAST management. An historic match has just been signed for next week's edition of HeldDOWN~!, live on TSM, when we will be eminating from Trenton, New Jersey. In a first of it's kind, ALL the title holders in the OAOAST will compete in one match, The Match Of Champions! It will be the World 6-Man Tag Team Champions Cucaracha Internacional and the Heartland Champion Sandman9000, teaming together to take on World Tag Team Champions Team Heyross, teaming with United States Champion Colombian Heat and the World's Heavyweight Champion himself, Tha Puerto Rican! A mouth-watering prospect to say the least. And with that in mind, at this time I'd like to bring in Cucaracha Internacional...

On cue, in walk five of the members of The CI. The aforementioned 6-Man Tag Champs, James Blonde, Nathaniel Black and Faqu assembled at the back with a very sour-faced Landon Maddix at the front with Megan Skye.

SCHIAVONE
...and we'll get to The Match Of Champions in just a second, but also Landon Maddix, this past Sunday night unsuccessful in your quest for the World Title.

MADDIX
Thanks for the reminder. Let's get the facts in order, first off. Number one, I'm not angry and I'm not bitter. No, what I am is [i]disappointed[/i]. I'm disappointed that despite not being pinned or made to submit last Sunday, I'm not standing here the OAOAST World Champion. I'm disappointed that Todd Cortez lost that match for me. Even more-so, I'm disappointed in Todd Cortez for screwing our chances up even before the opening bell by not listening and sticking to the plan. I think it can be generally agreed on, that since I got Cucaracha Internacional together, we've had some ups and downs. Usually ending with us landing on our feet. And the reason for that is... we don't take disappointment well.

Shakes of the head all around agree with Landon.

MADDIX
When Todd Cortez stood up against me, I put him back in his place. When we were stripped of the World 6-Man Titles, we regrouped and we won them back at AngleMania. Disappointment is something that gets us going, because we're winners. And we sure don't stay disappointed for long. Why? Cause we're always looking for the first opportunity to make things right.

SCHIAVONE
Which brings us to next week?

MADDIX
That's right, The Match Of Champions! And lo and behold if that doesn't prove my point, with Cucaracha Internacional heavily represented. If this is going to be The Match Of Champions, then we're clearly The Team Of Champions. Right after I heard the news about this match, I tracked down Alfdogg and we had what I'd call a very productive conversation with him. The upshot being, for one night only, [i]this[/i] is going to be the deadliest alliance going! We'll be delighted to welcome Sandman9000 into the fold for the night. Cohesion isn't going to be a problem. And neither will motivation. Because, look who we've got on the opposition... none other than one 'Puerto Rican Lightning'. It's funny how these things work out, huh?

Blonde pulls the microphone towards him from over Schiavone's shoulder.

BLONDE
That's right. And PRL, lemme promise you one thing, Landon Maddix isn't going to be in that ring across from you, but he'll be there in spirit! Every shot you take is gonna have the Cucaracha calling card slapped on it. And there'll be plenty of slapping, pal! You see, you're an embarrassment in my eyes. So unoriginal. So uninspired. The Trendsetter doesn't follow trends like you do, he sets them. And the trend set next week is gonna be blond guys who rule kicking your ass!

MADDIX
I like the sounds of that. And hey, maybe we might not even limit it to gender and we'll let Megan slap you around some as well? It'll be the most female action you've had since Lindsay bolted! But, what of Tha Puerto Rican's partners?

BLONDE
Ah yeah, you've got Team Heyross, the supposed best tag team in the world today. The fact is, we're the true international superstars of the OAOAST. And when we're through with you next week, Faqu and I would be happy to prove it... if there's anything left of you!

FAQU
O LE LIMA E PAIA LE MATA!!

Despite not having a clue what their Samoan friend just said, Blonde and Landon laugh it up, as Black now pulls the mic his way.

BLACK
An' who does that leave? Colombian 'Eat, the United States Champion. Ya know what 'Eat, you make a great US Champ, no matter wot anybody says. Maybe that's why I 'ate ya both! Sure, you ain't a Yankee, but you still stand for everythin' I 'ate about the US. No dignity, no morals, an' definately no class! You're all style over substance, which is why all these American fans love ya so much, 'cause of all the razzmatazz. Well son, once me an' our team beat your arse next week, the world's gonna see what subtance over style's about. An' then, maybe somewhere down the line, I'll do the honourable thing for the OAOAST and restore some class, by takin' that belt off of ya... and renamin' it the [i]British[/i] Heavyweight Title!

MADDIX
Which leaves us right back with Tha Puerto Rican. Seems like my boys have got their sights set and Sandman's probably busy doing something, I dunno, I only even heard of him because of this match... SO, it only makes sense to go four for four. Whether it's a month down the line, two months, three, sooner or later I'm going to get another shot at you and the World Title. And this time, I'm gonna make sure there'll be no Todd Cortez or anyone else for that matter to screw it up. Next week... Prepare... For [i]Champions[/i]!

The members of Cucaracha Internacional break off and leave looking pleased with themselves.

SCHIAVONE
The Match Of Champions, next week on HeldDOWN~! Let's go back to Michael Cole and The Coach!