OAOAST Syndicated 6/1/08

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Brought to you by American Express

Taped: May 29th, 2008

First air date: June 1st, 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area)

Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan

 

It's no longer the weekend, which means that Syndicated must already have happened and this recap must already be a little late! But, as they say, good things come to those who wait. And it doesn't come much more 'good' than Syndicated. As ever Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura are our guides through the action which justifies the price of those HD taping tickets as we approach The Great Angle Bash. This week would see The Love Doctors in action, Cuban Wall in a handicap match with the protectors of law and justice Rescue 911 and in the main event, Jamie O'Hara looking for retribution against The Heavenly Rockers in the form of Logan Mann, one on one! Who needs The Great Angle Bash with that kinda line-up, huh!?

 

 

Syndicated would start with some reel talk from The Beverly Hills Blonds, in the ring with Tony Brannigan. Or, so we thought. Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton came to the ring casually enough to join their former nemesis, but the arrival of referee Nick Patrick seemed to confuse them both. Ned soon regretted asking Patrick what he wanted, as T-Bod explained that due to a change in the card, he was actually in competition tonight rather than on microphone. Cue "Sweet Home Chicago" and bad news for Ned Blanchard.

 

***Ned Blanchard w/Simon Singleton -VS- Jumbo w/Deuce Deuce Bigelow***

Jumbo was smart enough to bring back up in the form of The Flaming Gigolo and they cleared the ring of The BHB, who bailed out to try and make sense of all this. Eventually Simon got Ned revved up and ready to confront Jumbo. Only then did Ned realise the true scale of the size difference. A series of failed shoulder blocks from Ned were followed by an example in how to do it by Jumbo, pinballing Ned around the ring. All to little concern from Simon, who having neglected to bring the Siclopse with him highjacked a regular OAOAST camera and caught the action on that. That of course meant we could hear every worried groan from The Video Voyeur as Ned continued to be bounced around from pillar to post by the big guy. Eventually, a missed Avalanche gave Ned a window into the match and he clipped Jumbo's knee before going to work. After softening the right leg up, Blanchard applied a Spinning Toehold looking for a submission. Jumbo was strong enough to drag himself to the ropes however, leaving Ned at a loss for what to do. More legwork was his eventual conclusion. A second Spinning Toehold almost saw him pinned from an inside cradle though. Ned soon found himself struggling to keep Jumbo down and the big guy rallied with Deuce willing him on and Simon providing a gloomy running commentary on camera. Even on one leg, Jumbo's size allowed him to bounce Ned around with right hands and shoulder tackled before he hit his Avalanche that went wrong earlier. Jumbo then went for the XL Splash, but missed and jarred his knee on landing. Another chopblock from Ned set him up for a top rope elbow. But Jumbo moved out of the way and Ned proved why he rarely takes flight from the top by plummeting into nothing but canvas. Jumbo hit a Belly to Belly Suplex for 2, then a big Powerslam for 2, at which point Simon had seen enough. Putting down the camera, he jumped to the apron to run interference. Not having any of it was Deuce, pulling Simon down from the apron and punching away. That proved costly, as Ned's attempted sneak attack was avoided by Jumbo. Ducking the 90210 Enziguri, he caught Blanchard with a sternum crushing Samoan Drop, followed up with the XL Splash to score an upset 3 count that Simon couldn't do anything to prevent! An overjoyed Jumbo and Deuce celebrated their victory, while Simon attended to the squashed Ned.

 

Winner: Jumbo, via pinfall

 

 

THE GREAT ANGLE BASH 2008

June 29th, Minneapolis, MN

LIVE on Pay-Per-View!

 

When we came back from commercial, The Beverly Hills Blonds were still out in the arena and not happy. Converging on the announce table, they whined about unfair treatment from the OAOAST office and AngleSault in particular. Ned's claims that he hadn't properly stretched and been through his pre-match routine were mercifully cut off by Syndicated's producers.

 

That's because we went to footage from earlier in the night with Rescue 911. The upstanding citizens of the OAOAST were preparing for their match later on in slightly contrasting fashion. As EMT Tim put on his ring gear calmly and serenely, his calm and serenity was punctured by Officer Bosley's own pre-match preperations. In front of a full length mirror borrowed, with permission and full documentation of course, from the women's locker room Officer Bosley stared himself down. After a good 10 seconds of staring, he then started giving himself the peptalk of a lifetime at the top of his voice! "AIN'T NO MAN IN THIS WORLD GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN!" he screamed at his own reflection. "YOU ARE A DISCIPLE OF GOD! HE GAVE YOU THIS CHISELED PHYSIQUE TO TEAR THE WORLD'S WRONG-DOERS A SECOND ASSHOLE AND GODDAMN IT ALL THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GONNA FREAKIN' DO!" After all the intensity and a few slaps of his own face, Bosley turned to EMT Tim and his his normal, everyday voice told him "Let's roll", before leaving with a slightly unnerved Cash close behind.

 

Two-On-One Handicap Match

***Cuban Wall -VS- Rescue 911***

Would the psyche-job do any good though? Or would The Cuban Wall prove too much? Rescue 911 were required to tag in and out during the match, so it was Bosley who started out with the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner. Wall was in just as intense a mood as Bosley in his first match since the acrimonious disbanding of The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. And a shouting match ensued before the two traded big bombs in the centre of the ring. Wall got the better of the fist-fight, but the trained Police Officer had more than that in his arsenal and attacked the leg with kicks. Quick tags allowed 911 to work Wall over for a few minutes. But EMT Tim got caught taking too long with an arm wringer and was decimated with a short arm clothesline. Bosley bellowed at his partner to "man up", as Wall systematically started to pick him apart with heavy punches. Tim was no match in size for Wall and was laid to waste by the big Cuban with a Chokeslam. Sensing trouble, Bosley discarded the rules briefly to come in and help. But Wall landed a Big Boot and sent Bosley packing. Grabbing hold of the EMT, Wall quickly executed the Wallbreaker. Then, with Cash already done for, he delivered the as yet un-renamed Lightning Crew Splash to pick up the victory.

 

Winner: Cuban Wall, via pinfall

 

After the match, Wall found the nearest camera and sent a worrying message that this was "just the start", while Bosley was clearly unhappy in the ring but still managed to help his partner up while wondering how he got beat without him.

 

 

***The Love Doctors -VS- The Last Kings Of Scotland***

Tag team action for the Doctors Of Doctornomics, up against Scotland's own Scottish Scott and Danny Boy. The Love Docs were on top form and showed the great cohesion that made them HI-YAH Tag Champions for so long. Pigley, advertising his local Chicago radio show The Love Line on his shirt, and Anderson gave Scott the run around and connecting with a Double Dropkick, Double Hiptoss and Lariat/schoolyard trip combination before Danny Boy was able to even get in. He didn't fare much better. He did at least take the fight to Dr. Anderson. But pretty soon The Docs were working together and implementing quick tags. After delivering The Lovematic Grampa (Inverted Atomic Drop/Dropkick) on Danny Boy, Scottish Scott came in but was soon shocked with the Defibrillator (Hart Attack Clothesline). With one man isolated, Dr. Anderson delivered his Anderson Spinebuster. Scooping him up, Dr. Anderson then held Danny Boy in place for the seated senton from Dr. Pigley, the Gurney To The Centre Of The Earth capping a routine victory for The Love Docs.

 

Winner: The Love Doctors, via pinfall

 

 

NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~!

THE MATCH OF CHAMPIONS~!

World Heavyweight Champion, US Champion and Tag Team Champions combine as Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat team with Team Heyross, to take on World 6-Man Tag Champions Cucaracha Internacional and the OAOAST Heartland Champion Sandman9000!

 

Plus, a first appearance from Bohemoth, after defeating Zack Malibu at School's Out! What will he have to say?And will Zack be there?

 

 

***Logan Mann -VS- Jamie O'Hara***

After his defeat two weeks ago at the hands of Logan's partner Synth Abdul Jabbar, it was revenge on the mind for Jamie O'Hara in your Syndicated main event. And it was ensured that things would be a lot easier this week, as right away the crew of Synth, Abdullah Abir Nerdly and Holly-Wood were all dispatched to the back by the OAOAST security team. Abdullah's cries of foul against AngleSault grew fainter and fainter as he was dragged away and a fuming Logan was rolled up for a close two count mere seconds into the match.

 

Forced to regroup, Logan exited to the floor to try and get his head together and a new gameplan formulated. All he really succeeded in doing was providing a landing pad for the high-flying O'Hara, who delivered a huge Springboard 450 Plancha to ignite the Wilks-Barre crowd! On offence, O'Hara dumped The MACHO Macho Mann back inside and worked him over with forearms and a variety of kicks. J'OH ran Logan ragged with his speed, until finally getting caught with a high-risk move. Looking for a hurricanrana out of the corner, O'Hara got his feet caught up in the ropes which possibly aided Logan in countering by falling backwards to deliver snake-eyes on the top turnbuckle! Logan peppered O'Hara's body with jabs to let out his frustrations and got a warning from the referee. Of course, that did little good. From that point on Logan picked apart O'Hara with the jabs between big moves. His own high-risk paid off as he delivered a double axehandle from the top, but he only got a 2 count from the resulting pin. As Logan continues to dominate, he eventually started to get more confident and more concerned with the crowd. For which he paid, as O'Hara escaped a fireman's carry lift and dropped him on his head with an Inverted Hurricanrana!! Both men took advantage of an 8 count from the referee before getting to their feet and renewing their fight. O'Hara's second wind kicked in and he again out-quicked Logan with an array of high-flying moves, but couldn't find one to keep him down for three. Not even a Standing 450 Splash could get that three count. So, O'Hara set Logan up for his trusty 630 Splash. Mann recovered to crotch O'Hara up top though. Climbing up with O'Hara, Logan brought nervous jeers from the crowd as he twirled the finger, signalling for some unheard of top rope Percussion. Luckily, O'Hara broke free and shoved Logan down to the unforgiving canvas. Unluckily, he then went for the 630, but landed on KNEES! With O'Hara struck by crippling pain the wily Logan then quickly stacked the Englishman up on his shoulders, in the perfect position to supplement the pin with TWO FEET ON THE ROPES without the referee spotting him, in order to score the unpopular pinfall victory!

 

Winner: Logan Mann, via pinfall

 

Logan escaped without detection and celebrated his victory, leaving the pained O'Hara to complain to the referee about what happened as Syndicated went off the air.