HD: The Love Line

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Earlier this week, I was lucky enough to get backstage access with The Love Doctors...

COACH
Really? Wow, I'm so pleased for you man, after all these years of admiring looks across the announce desk and all that sexual tension, it finally happened for you!

COLE
(casting a sideways look to Coach)
...backstage access on the set of The Love Line, Dr. Pigley's local Chicago radio show.

COACH
Oh. Man, don't sweat it, it'll happen for you one day.

COLE
*sighs* This is what happened.


~~~~~~~~

With the distant sound of everyday hustle and bustle in the background our OAOAST.com cameras pan down the street and settle on an establishing shot of the outside of the KWCR building in Chicago, Illinois. Inside we then go to find The Love Doctors mingling in the building's green room. Straight from a shift at Windy City Hospital, Dr. Anderson wears his trademark monogrammed lab coat over purple scrubs. Dr. Pigley is a lot more casual though in black slacks and a purple button up shirt. Pigley's conversation with his unknown friend ends with a laugh and a handshake, the guy who is presumably another radio presenter then disappearing while Pigley finally notices the cameras.

COLE
Guys, good to see you. How's it going?

Handshakes greet Michael Cole as he steps into shot.

PIGLEY
Welcome to Chicago pal. And, welcome to my second job.

ANDERSON
Uh... wouldn't it be third, Steve? Doctor, wrestler, radio presenter.

PIGLEY
Actually it goes 'wrestler, radio presenter, doctor'.

COLE
So, Dr. Pigley, Dr. Anderson, we're here today of course to talk about The Love Line.

PIGLEY
Every Wednesday evening at 7PM across Chicago radio. There's a plug. Anyway, it's my pleasure to give our great OAOAST fans a special behind the scenes look at the show. This new calling in my life has been a tremendous honour. To use my background as doctor and my experience in relationship matters to help the wider public over those three hours, it feels good. And I'm so proud of this new calling, I really wanted to give The Love Doctors' OAOAST fans a special look at what happens behind the microphone.

COLE
Well, by my watch it's 35 minutes to airtime, so let's get right to it shall we?


[COLOR=red]This is [b]KWCR[/b] [COLOR=blue]95.6![/COLOR] [i]#radio!#[/i][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue][size=4]KWCR![/size][/COLOR] [COLOR=red]Chicago radio[/COLOR]


We now find ourselves in the recording booth with our trio, Pigley casting a hand over his desk which is littered with papers, stationary, an empty coffee cup and lots of other miscellaneous clutter.

PIGLEY
This is where the magic happens.

COLE
So, how about you tell everyone a little more about the show?

PIGLEY
Well, each and every week I open up the airwaves to the people of Chicago, and thanks to the magic of the digital age even those beyond the Illinois area on occassion, to those in need of relationship advice. We also talk love in general. How to be more successful with the opposite sex, what not to do on that crucial first date, . Don't be mistaken in thinking it's gratuitious. It's not all about sex. Of course, we do deal with that because sex is an important part of life. But it's about all aspects of relationships. Courting, dating, we even talk about certain medical problems with my doctorate background. And we help a lot of people.


[COLOR=blue]Across the Second City[/COLOR] [i]*briiiiiiiiing*[/i] [COLOR=red][b]KWCR is where it's at[/b][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue]We discuss all the topics...[/COLOR] [COLOR=pink]"Hey, wha'dya'll think about that then?"[/COLOR] [b][size=5]AAAAWWWWW YEAH~![/size] [COLOR=red]KWCR radio![/b][/COLOR]


Dr. Pigley is in his seat doing last sound checks for the show with airtime rapidly approaching, so Cole and Dr. Anderson have retreated to the sound booth, looking in.

COLE
So, what do you think about your partner's new venture?

ANDERSON
I'm delighted for him. Some people would probably assume I'd be jealous... and, yeah, since the radio show's come along Steven has been getting a little more attention from the ladies. But I'm delighted to see him doing so well. It's a little new to us, to have one of us gaining success in a solo venture. Me and Steven are great colleagues in the ring and in the ER. But we're also great friends.

COLE
And the show?

ANDERSON
Yeah, I think he's doing a good job. The response seems to have been really strong and like Steven said, the show really helps people out. It's a great way to use his training as a doctor to reach people. It's not one of those annoying radio shows that's all boring small-talk and inane sound-bites, you know?


[COLOR=red][i]#Ninety five point siiiiiiiiiix#[/i] Turn it on![/COLOR] [COLOR=purple][i]"Gimme the Love Line, ooooohhh"[/i][/COLOR] [COLOR=blue]Relationship advice that money can't buy[/COLOR] [COLOR=green]*CHA-CHING!*[/COLOR] [COLOR=blue]On the radio![/COLOR] "HEY! HEY! HEY LADIIIEEES!" [COLOR=red]Only on KWCR. [b]95.6!![/b][/COLOR] With Dr. Pigley [COLOR=pink][b]OINK OINK[/b][/COLOR] [i]#95.6!#[/i]


PIGLEY
(in finest radio voice)
Gooood evening you're listening to KWCR 95.6, local Chicago-land area radio and The Love Doctor is in from now until ten o'clock to give you The Love Line. This week we'll be telling you the top ten surefire pick-up lines that'll ensure your weekend is an eventful one. To all the ladies listening, help is at hand. We've got Bruce Willis, you've got Steven Pigley... what do [i]men[/i] really want? We'll tell you later on. And we want to hear your calls! If you've got a matter of the heart you need to discuss, get yourself on the line and The Love Doctor will see you. For the loved up and the lovelorn alike, I'll give you the advice you need in the next three hours.

Pigley clicks around on his computer screen a little.

PIGLEY
So without any further ado, let's dive into the phone-lines. Our first caller is a 'Margaret' and she's calling from way out in Charlotte, North Carolina. Margaret, the doctor will see you now.

MARGARET
(sounding strangely familiar)
Uh... hey, yeah... whassup Doc?

PIGLEY
Okay Margaret you're live on the air, what's your problem?

MARGARET
Well, see me and my boyfriend yeah, we've been together for a few months now and when we first started dating everything was vegan kosher. He's a super sweet guy and everything he did was so romantic. Moonlight walks. Candlelit dinners. Nights under the stars. He bought me a new lamp when he broke it. We joked he was the 'light of my life', although I'm not real sure where that name came from. But just recently we've been hanging out less and less and it's always real tense, because we've got a lotta mutual friends so we kinda see each other without actually, you know, seeing each other.

PIGLEY
Is this a work romance?

MARGARET
Well if you can really call it work, suresies. Anyway, normally I ain't sweating it because guys blow hot and cold sometimes, I figure that's nothing to worry about. But this is different. See, now I got my sister in the picture and they're becoming close friends, or at least that's what they say. The further away we get, the closer they get. Ya know, I don't think it's crazy to read into it that that probably ain't no happy coincidence. I think there's something more going on and I'm not the only one. Anyway, I guess I'm calling to ask your advice about what to do about that. Do I go militant and call they asses out or what?

Dr. Pigley takes a curious look over to the sound booth, to see if Dr. Anderson and Michael Cole are thinking what he's thinking. Judging from their look, they are.

PIGLEY
Okay Margaret, so you and your boyfriend... what did you say his name was?

MARGARET
It's... uh... it's Deon. Crap, that's not ver... yeah, yeah, Deon. Yeah.

Taking a sip of his now filled coffee cup, Pigley smiles a little wry smile.

PIGLEY
Well I think the best thing for you to do, Margaret, is tread carefully. Unless you have actual proof that something is going on and from what you're saying I'm assuming you don't, you could well be reading too much into things and cause problems where there are none.

MARGARET
So, if I already maybe confronted my sister about it and got into a huge fight about it, that'd be not neccessarily cool is what you're saying?

PIGLEY
Margaret, I don't think your sister is neccessarily the issue. Perhaps you're looking at your sister as a source of blame for existing relationship problems or doubts you may have.

MARGARET
But see here's the skinny, me and... uh, Deon... we don't HAVE any other relationship problems. The only problem is, he seems to care more about my sister than me sometimes. Oftentimes. Toomanytimes. Ya know, it's not like I've got a problem with them being friends or anything like that. I'm not a psycho protective kinda girl, unless somebody steps up and tests me, then you better believe it's on.

PIGLEY
Yet you sound very insecure, if you don't mind me saying so. Is there anything else about your boyfriend that makes you think he may stray that you haven't mentioned?

MARGARET
Nope.

PIGLEY
No past occupations, maybe?

MARGARET
Nothing unusual.

PIGLEY
Okay. Interesting. *sips coffee* Well Margaret, it's only natural to feel threatened by a close relationship formed by a loved one. Especially with someone so close as your own sister. I don't want you to feel 'crazy' for worrying. But, you need to understand that Deon having friends is not a threat to your relationship. Be they male or female. You can't see your relationship as an 'exclusive right' to his heart. The best thing for you to do is to sit down and talk with him. Clear the air and talk about your concerns that you're not seeing enough of each other, [i]without[/i] sighting your sister as a reason. If he's really spending more time with her than you're comfortable with, try and think what it is that your boyfriend may be getting from his friendship with your sister that he's not getting from you. It may be something you can work on, more likely it will be something you're completely comfortable with. Trust your sister and trust your boyfriend. If you can't find it in yourself to do that, then clearly there's a deeper problem.

MARGARET
That simple?

PIGLEY
My guess is, he confides in her because he feels he can't talk openly to you. Maybe he has a problem communicating with those closest to him. Or, maybe he senses your anxities and is being pushed away by them. Try to be more understanding, more patient. And hopefully your worries will prove harmless.

MARGARET
Okay, I'll give it a try. Can you play 'Sunshine Of Your Love'?

PIGLEY
Uh, we don't actually play music on the show.

MARGARET
Gotcha. Well, smell ya later then.

PIGLEY
Okay folks, that was Margaret from Charlotte, teaching us all a valuable lesson in trust. We'll be right back with more of your calls after these words from our sponsors.


~~~~~~~~

Back to the arena.

COLE
Fair to say we got more than we bargained for with that piece. Very revealing.

COACH
Dude, all he did was show you his desk and his collection of half-chewed pens.

COLE
I meant the caller.

COACH
Oh yeah. You know Mikey, I guess I shouldn't be surprised since I've gotten to know so many women in my time, but that voice sounded kinda familiar. Strange. Like, maybe it was a voice that I should recognise or something?

COLE
Go figure. Well, while your brain catches the rest of the world's population up, we'll go to...

COACH
Woah woah woah! Wait a sec. You don't think that 'Margaret' could have been, like, a codename for Maggie do you!? As in Maggie Nerdly!

COLE
*slaps forehead* Well done.