King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted June 13, 2008 Powerful shades of blue and red illumination flicker across the arena to the sound of "Hospital Beds" by Cold War Kids, as Rescue 911 respond to the emergency shortage of nice guys with well-oiled muscles! "Tell me the story of how you ended up here I've heard it all in the hospital" BUFFER The following tag team match is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time-limit. Introducing first, coming to us from the OAOAST First Responders Unit! Total combined weight, four hundred and eighty five pounds... DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY and EMT TIM CASH... together, they are RRREEEEESSSSSCCUUUUUEEEE 9 1 1!!!!!!! Clad in his Hawaiian print shirt, Detective Bosley jaws something to the camera with his chewing gum escaping his mouth somewhere in the middle of the talking. The cameraman appreciates him missing his shoes. But doesn't appreciate so much the friendly punch in the shoulder, which leaves him with a dead arm and the camera shot oddly tilted. EMT Tim has been in the ring for a while and calmly walms up as his partner joins him. COLE Our friends from the First Responders Unit in tag team action here. COACH Which is ironic, because when I see these guys in tag team action, my first response is to change the channel. [COLOR=red][b]"HEY WAIT I GOT A NEW COMPLAINT!"[/b][/COLOR] Cheers turn to jeers as usual when "Heart-Shaped Box" begins to play. A fired-up Logan leads the way, arm in arm with wife Holly-Wood as he sounds it out with the crowd. The aura is much more civilsed behind him though. Recent Muslim convert Synth Abdul-Jabbar walks solemnly beside Abdullah Abir Nerdly, who waves a COLLECTION PLATE under the noses of the unresponsive North Carolinans. BUFFER And the opponents! COLONEL ABULLAH NERDLY presents in association with HOLLY-WOOD the GREATEST rock 'n' wrestling band of AAAAALLLL-time! The former three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champion... THE HEAVENLYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Abdullah persists with his largely empty collection plate, not noticing the large build-up of spit sloshing around inside it as he talks with Synth. COLE Hmm. Aren't collection plates usually made of wood and not metal? COACH Not the good ones. Logan slides in and twirls the deadly finger. Abdullah and Synth's pre-match prayer ritual is interrupted however as numerous OAOAST officials head out from the back. Referee Charles Robinson nods to them after talking with head official Mike Chiods and Abdullah is motioned towards the back!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAT?! He hasn't even done anything yet! COLE Yet? COACH He's a man of peace! This is a hate-crime! HATE CRIIIIIIME!! COLE The man's out here with a metal collection plate in his hand, what do you expect to happen with that during a wrestling match exactly? Despite the heated protests of Holly-Wood and Logan and the attempts of spiritual reasoning by Synth, Abdullah is taken against his will to the back. The North Carolina fans wave him on his way, not all of them with all the fingers on their hand! COACH I tell you what, I'll bet you all the money in Abdullah's collection plate that AngleSault is behind this! COLE Coach, there's like $4 and a couple of spare buttons in there. COACH Still. *DINGDINGDING!* Abdullah and 'entourage' disappear behind the curtain while The Heavenly Rockers get their heads together. It's not like they're completely without guidance though with Holly-Wood still in their corner. "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" "9 - 1 - 1!" Logan starts it out for the three-time champions, up against EMT Tim. With Bosley's bellowing voice spurring him on Tim locks up with Logan and jockeys for position. The two tussle back into a neutral corner where Logan ends up on top, holding up his hands innocently as he gives a clean break... or, so it seems, until he lands a short jab to the trusting EMT. Another short jab lands to the midsection. And another. Before one cracks Cash in the jaw! Offended by this abuse in the corner, Detective Bosley jumps in to take the law into his own hands. Referee Robinson cuts him off though. COLE That's not too smart on Bosley's part. Quick as a flash, Synth appears in the ring and The Heavenly Rockers shoot EMT Tim into the ropes. They duck their head for a Double Backdrop... but Tim rolls up and over the top of them! Synth and Logan regroup and link arms for a Double Clothesline. Underneath goes Cash though, before hitting the ropes himself and hooking THR down with a double Hart Attack Clothesline!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE EMT Tim Running The Lights on both Heavenly Rockers! COACH See, that wouldn't have happened if Abdullah were still out here! Quick tag to Bosley as Synth rolls to the floor. As Logan staggers to his feet, Detective Bosley torpedoes towards him as EMT Tim brings his partner in over the top with a Slingshot Shoulderblock! Cover... 1... 2... No! Logan gets whipped across by Bosley. The Detective puts his head down early though and Logan delivers a kick to the shoulder blade, then goes for a clothesline. Duck underneath by Bosley, Logan continuing on into the ropes only to get caught with a Powerslam! 1... 2... No! Having just gotten to the apron, Synth is sent back down to the arena floor by Bosley to the crowd's delight. COACH Now that was uncalled for. I hope Abdullah's found a monitor someone, so he can start drawing up an unneccessary brutality settlement. Rescue 911 make another quick tag and combine with a double whip on Logan. The MACHO Macho Mann gets hiptossed by Bosley, sitting up to be dropkicked in the face by EMT Tim! After firing his partner up Bosley leaves to allow the count... 1... 2... No! EMT Tim picks Logan back up again and wrings the arm ready for another tag... but Logan RAKES THE EYES! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tag is made, Synth running in with a clothesline to drop the temporarily blinded EMT. Synth then motions to make a move towards Bosley in the corner, but when the Detective throws up his fists ready for him the new peaceful philosophies kick in and he opts not for violence. COACH You have to admire Synth, a spiritual man such as himself isn't going to stoop to the level of a thug like Bosley. COLE Not when Bosley's looking, no. Synth applies a rear chinlock on EMT Tim, allowing him to say some prayers to above whilst doing damage to his opponent. The crowd start to rally behind Cash and try to drown out Synth's prayers. And it seems to work on both counts as EMT Tim's fist starts a-pumping. Tim fights to his feet, turning towards the praying Synth to deliver an elbow to the ribs. Synth strikes back with a knee though, then executes a swinging neckbreaker and covers... 1... 2... No! Leading EMT Tim to the corner, Synth holds him in place while Logan heads up top. A tag is made once there, not strictly legal but close enough for the referee as Logan delivers a double axehandle from up top. COLE The three-time Tag Team Champions starting to assert themselves now. Leg hooked from Logan Mann... 1... 2... Kickout! Bosley starts to pound away on the turnbuckles to get the fans back on EMT Tim's cause. Pinned in the corner, Tim is subjected to a flurry of Logan's patented short jabs all over the body. Logan then turns on his heels and shows none of his partner's inner peace as he runs Bosley off the apron! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE ... COACH *sighs* Go ahead. COLE What a heinous move from Logan Mann, honest competitors like Rescue 911 would never dream of doing something like that! The distraction caused by Bosley trying to get back in allows Logan and Synth to double-team EMT Tim in the corner. They club and kick away at him until Bosley is put back to the apron, at which point Logan executes a simple vertical suplex and covers him up... 1... 2... No! Logan tags out to Synth, who heads up top and comes down with a single axehandle across the back of EMT Tim's head on the way up. The adopted Abdul-Jabbar then gives his thanks to the Gods above for guiding him safely back to earth. "PAU - LA AB - DUL!" *clap clap clapclapclap* "PAU - LA AB - DUL!" *clap clap clapclapclap* COLE :D The inner peace becomes outer rage, as Synth motions wildly for the fans to "cut it out, ya'll". When they don't, he's forced to retreat to his corner with his hands over his ears with Logan taking over. COACH Is that supposed to be funny!? COLE Hey, it did it for me. Logan scoops and slams EMT Tim, coming off the ropes with a well-placed kneedrop. 1... 2... Kickout. Getting impatient, Bosley paces the apron while his partner is sent off into a neutral corner. Twirling the finger again, Logan then follows in to deliver a high knee... AND MISSES! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" With his patella bouncing off the top turnbuckle, away hobbles Logan. He still blocks the way to the Rescue 911 corner though, forcing EMT Tim to improvise and crawl through the legs to make the tag to the eager Detective! COLE All units all units, Detective Bosley is on the scene! Leaping in over the top, Bosley runs through both Logan and Synth with clotheslines before catching the lead vocalist of the greatest rock n' wrestling band of all time with a BAAAAACK bodydrop that airs out his vocal chords! Fist-pump from Bosley, then a fist to the face of the oncoming Synth! COACH That's a man of peace! You don't punch a man of peace in the face like that! COLE Looks to me like he just did, mmm-hmmm *snaps fingers* Bosley traps the reeling Logan in the corner and scales the turnbuckles... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" ...and a DIVING BACK ELBOW off the middle to Synth!! COLE Bosley is so deceptively athletic! COACH Must be all that police training he never puts into action as a Detective sat behind a desk and a family sized box of donuts all day. As Synth rolls to the floor, Logan staggers out of the corner into a GORILLA PRESS from Bosley! Logan escapes before plummeting to the mat though, landing behind the Detective and running him into the ropes with an O'Connor roll... 1... 2... HANDFUL OF TIGHTS changes the momentum puts Logan on top... 1... 2... NO! Stopping himself on the ropes Logan waits for Bosley to turn around before firing off the patented LEFT HOO... NO! Bosley ducks the left hook and takes him up for an Atomic Drop. Holly felt that one as badly as her husband, watching with a cringe as Bosley takes Logan up on his shoulders. COLE Oh look out, they're looking to Protect and Serve Logan Mann! What an upset this would be if they hit it! COACH You can say that again. Bosley holds Logan up despite the punches being rained down on him. Behind him, EMT Tim scales the turnbuckles ready to come off with the 'rana... ...but Synth draws the referee's attention from the apron, allowing HOLLY-WOOD TO SHOVE EMT TIM OFF THE TOP!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit! COACH It's Holly-Wood to the rescue! Crashing into the back of his partner, EMT Tim causes a three-man pile-up in the ring. Coming out of it best is Detective Bosley, but he's clearly not aware of what happened as he looks down at his partner Cash interrogating him about what happened. Taking advantage of the situation, Logan lies in wait... *WHAM!* ...AND CONNECTS WITH THE WICKED LEFT HOOK~!!! COLE Got him with it. Logan cradles up Bosley, while Synth drags the EMT to the floor... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners of this contest... THE HEAVENLY RRROOOOOOOCCKKEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reunited with his loving wife Logan clearly appreciates the assist, embracing Holly-Wood with a cheeky wink. The Heavenly Rockers quickly make their escape while a still groggy Bosley sits up trying to figure out what just went down. COACH Looks like we should start calling them Miscue 911. Like that one, mister laughter? COLE What I don't like is the cheap victory The Heavenly Rockers just sneaked out. It looked like Bosley and Cash were on the verge of a major upset, until Holly-Wood sprung into action and knocked Cash off the top, right into his partner. And Logan profits from his wife's interference. COACH And now, the celebrations can begin. They're heading to find Abdullah I'm sure. There in spirit if not in person. Logan and Synth make their way to the back, while Bosley marches around the ring angry at what just went down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
