OAOAST Syndicated 6/22/08

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Brought to you by American Express

Taped: June 19th, 2008

First air date: June 22nd, 2008 (check local listings for airings in your area)

Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Lead correspondent: Tony Brannigan

 

After last week's mysterious pre-emption, Syndicated returns to the airwaves as if nothing had happened, with Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura ready to call the action as ever. With Vinny and Biff in HD action, Syndicated possibly gets more hosed than ECW on draft night! But fear not because there are worthy replacements! Rico de Janeiro in action against Moracca of Los Diablos, The Christ Air Express versus former Lightning Crew/Corporation amigos Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua, plus in the main-event a Women's Title match! But first...

 

***Reggie Lamont -VS- Jumbo***

A batle of the bigmen. One kinda bigger in the height stakes than the girth stakes, but still two big guys. Jumbo had the crowd solidly behind him and got them clapping in the early going. Whatever support that gave him helped to deflect three shoulder block attempts from Reggie who just couldn't seem to knock Jumbo off his feet. A rake of the eyes proved Jumbo's weakness, but not enough for Reggie's bodyslam attempt to work and the Jamaican ended up getting crushed! Lamont rolled to the floor to regain his breath while Jumbo danced for the crowd. Reggie finally got the advantage after a missed avalanche and a big Bicycle Kick. From there Reggie saught to wear on Jumbo's stamina with headlocks and chinlocks. It seemed to work as Jumbo's breathing got heavier and heavier, to the point that when he finally did fight back, he missed another avalanche and wound up right back down. Seeing his chance, Reggie hit his attempted bodyslam from earlier on, only to score just a 2 count. Angry, Reggie tried again, but Jumbo 'floated' out the back and connected with a BIG Belly To Belly! Jumbo found a second wind from somewhere and started mowing through Lamont before setting up the XL Splash. Jumbo found no water in the pool though and fell victim to a Scissors Kick, before being stacked up high on his shoulders, with tights held, to earn Reggie the 3 count.

 

Winner: Reggie Lamont, via pinfall

 

 

After commercial, we came back to the interview stage with lead correspondent (yeah, no sure what that job description really means either, but w/e) Tony Brannigan. His guest for the week was the United States Champion Colombian Heat, who didn't take long to get the crowd pumped up for him. Brannigan quizzed Heat about his run as US Champion so far and on the rumour that the US Champion was going to be involved at The Great Angle Bash somehow. Heat replied that it was only right for him to defend the US belt at the namesake event of US hero AngleSault, "tho', now I'm thinkin' 'bout it, I guess they're all named after him ain't they?" Apparantly the rumour hadn't really reached him though, what with all the "big things poppin'" in positions of power in the US. But rest assured, whoever was found to face him The Bash for the US Title, they would definately "FEEL THE HEAT!"

 

 

***Rico de Janeiro w/Lucius Soul -VS- Mariachi w/Moracca***

The heat was turned up a week early though, by the arrival of Los Diablos! The referee somehow managed to get some order restored as Lucius seemed intent on seeing action and Moracca seemed intent on seeing 'action', finally getting the official competitors in. Rico's power advantage had Mariachi bouncing around the ring in the early going. But any time Rico seemed to have the upperhand, Mariachi did something to unnerve the strictly heterosexual Brazilian stud and throw him off his stride. It took Rico a while to get used to Mariachi's... well, his 'handsy approach'. But once he got control, the encouragement from the outside from Lucius helped him to keep his mind on the win. Rico worked Mariachi's ribs over and almost forced him to submit from a long abdominal stretch. Mariachi found away out though and the armdrags suddenly started to come thick and fast. Disorientated, Rico was subjected to being ridden like a pony complete with much slapping of the Brazilian flag on his BUTT. But Rico, still stinging from the repeated embarrassments from one Krista Isadora Duncan, responded by getting up and DECAPITATING Mariachi with a Lariat!! Lucius sprung into life and beat down Moracca on the floor, as Rico then delivered a Shoulderbreaker, before applying the Rico Vice (Anaconda Vice) to tap Mariachi!

 

Winner: Rico de Janeiro, via submission

 

The vengeful Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew continued their attack after the match for good measure. Lucius sent Moracca flying into the ringpost, then slid into the ring to deliver the Fro 2 Sleep by way of exclamation point on Mariachi. The MGHWC made it perfectly clear they're sick of being made to look the fools on their way to the back as well.

 

 

THE GREAT ANGLE BASH 2008

June 29th, Minneapolis, MN

LIVE on Pay-Per-View!

 

 

***The Christ Air Express -VS- Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua***

Tag team action saw the Nerdly twins up against two men with their careers in limbo, the former Lightning Crew and Corporation team of Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua. Fly found himself as leader of the team for once in his life, mainly due to Boricua's... limited mental capacity, shall we say. And Boricua, due to that, was willing to listen to Fly, despite him being barracked from all four corners of the arena with abuse and "CRY - BABY" chants. Fly matched up well in the speed ranks with both MARV and MEL as they traded quick holds and counter holds, as well as plenty of arm-drag variations. Things got less even when Fly sensed trouble and tagged in Boricua. MARV failed to do anything with the bigman, so called in MEL. Even together the Nerdlys struggled to budge Boricua though and were soon swatted away attempting a Double Dropkick, dropped with clotheslines. Boricua and Fly took over on MEL, with Fly coming in with the quick attacks in the corner before handing back to Boricua to do the bulk (pun intended) of the wearing down. A Sidewalk Slam and a Big Boot both got nearfalls for Boricua. And Fly nearly won after a precision Spinning Wheel Kick. But MEL proved gutsy and eventually dropkicked Boricua's knee attempting a corner charge, Boricua going into the middle turnbuckle and MEL making the tag. MARV took the fight to Boricua and Fly, doing more damage to Fly obviously. His energy was nullified by a Boricua Powerslam though. Soon Boricua and Fly were picking the CAE apart, Fly feeding them off to Boricua one by one. Boricua delivered a thunderous Chokeslam on MEL who then rolled to the outside, leaving MARV to the wolves. After toying with him for a while, Fly got MARV hung on the ropes for the 619. He connected, at which point Boricua pitched him to the floor. Boricua was happy with his work but Fly was not, berating the big man and telling him to get MARV back in so he could hit the Fly Swatter. Doing as he was told, Boricua pitched one of the CAE back inside. But unfortunately he picked the wrong one and Spanish Fly missed the Fly Swatter on MEL, moving out of the way and then delivering a quick Melanoma (Michinoku Driver) on Fly to score the 3 count!

 

Winner: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall

 

Boricua lumbered back in too late and The CAE celebrated their win, leaving Spanish Fly to again berate poor Boricua for his incompetence.

 

Up we went to Jesse and Tony, to recap the shocking events of last week's HeldDOWN~!, specifically those surrounding AngleSault. The announce team confirmed that AS's position in the company was up in the air but no official announcement had been made as of yet and advised us to stay tuned to OAOAST.com for more information as it arrived (gee, thanks guys!). But, they promised there would be developments this week on the Haitch Dee!

 

 

NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~!

Zack Malibu runs the Cucaracha Internacional Gauntlet! But first, they must visit the Love Shack!

 

Just what in the hell is going on with AngleSault!?

 

Plus maybe plenty but that's up to interpretation, MORE!

 

 

~OAOAST Women's Championship

***Malaysia Nerdly -VS- Jessica Jobbs***

The Ultimate Combination Of Beauty And Beatdowns™ put her title on the line for the first time in the Syndicated main-event. Her opponent, Jessica Jobbs, didn't exactly look confident as she watched Malaysia walk to the ring cracking her cat o' nine tails. Can you blame her?

 

The answer, inevitably, was no. Jessica put up a game fight but was simply out-matched in size and power. Malaysia dominated virtually from start to finish. Jessica's fight was rewarded with the support of the crowd, willing her on as she landed isolated shots on Malaysia early on. Every shot to the jaw or chest seemed to annoy Malaysia even more than she came in though and she made Jessica pay dear with a teeth rattling clothesline. Malaysia took a few minutes to stretch and torture Jessica, applying painful submission holds, pulling at hair and bodyparts all with a disturbingly satisfied smile on her face. Another few gallant shots from Jessica took Malaysia up to another gear. She sent Jessica flying with a Butterly Suplex, then sent her halfway across the ring with a Fallaway Slam. The fans' support soon turned to awe at Malaysia's power, as she tossed Jessica around like the proverbial ragdoll. With Jessica on her last legs, Malaysia then powered her up over a shoulder into the Canadian Backbreaker. After a few stretches on the rack, Malaysia then drew the biggest groan of the night, a groan of anguish from the crowd as they watched Jessica get SPIKED on her head with a Piledriver from that position. Academic from there, the ref counted a quick 1, 2, 3 and Jessica Jobbs lived up to her name at the Women's Champion's hands.

 

Winner and still Women's Champion: Malaysia Nerdly, via pinfall

 

After the match, Malaysia brought out the cat o' nine tails. Luckily the referee was able to prevent her from using it though and she simply cracked it threateningly with the Women's Title overhead, a dangerous message sent to the OAOAST females as Syndicated went off the air.