HD: Cuban Wall & Tha Puerto Rican Promos

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

So yeah, put these promos together at the very end of the show, making it the last thing we see before we head into OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008!

 

As "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys continues playing, we cut to Cuban Wall, sitting on a chair in front of a blue background with the OAOAST logo on it. Cuban Wall is wearing his wrestling attire because he lives and breathes wrestling, DAMNIT! In addition to that, he is wearing sunglasses and gold chains around his neck. Wall has a cocky smirk on his face when the camera cuts to him. 

CUBAN WALL
So it has finally happened. I finally get a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This Sunday at The Great Angle Bash I get what should have been mine a LONG time ago! And they are calling this match 'Good Friends, Bitter Enemies'. Heh. Cute. Not exactly my first choice for a tagline, but then again, I am not one of the marketing geniuses of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. But you know something, P.R.? It's more than that. Yeah, it goes beyond that. Because you know what, P.R.? You've changed. You are not the same fearless man that you used to be. You are not the same ballsy talented competitor who kicked ass and won title after title! Oh no! You are not the same guy that led The Lightning Crew for four incredible years and could have led it for many more. No, instead, you are weak. You are pathetic. You are soft. You have lost what made you great. You are a shell of your former self. It is sad to see you play to these idiots, make them your world. You didn't used to care about the fans! What the hell happened!? But it's okay. It's all right, because Cuban Wall is your remedy. He's gonna bring you back! Back to the Promised Land! I'm like Jimmy Jones! 'Bring me my children!' And PRL, you are one of them. 

The camera does a close-up of Cuban Wall's face as he continues speaking. 

CUBAN WALL (CONT'D)
This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to get what I SHOULD have gotten at AngleMania VII! This match is really 3 months overdue, P.R.! Well, good things come to those who wait and this Sunday the waiting will end. No Holds Barred. That's right, NO HOLDS BARRED! I DO TO YOU WHATEVER I WANT TO DO! You have never beaten a man of my size on your own! You have never won a match like this without The Lightning Crew! YOU HAVE NEVER WON A DAMN THING IN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER WITHOUT SOMEONE'S HELP! And P.R., you won't have ANY help this Sunday night! THIS WILL BE A FIGHT! MANO-E-MANO! WHO'S THE TOUGHEST!? WHO'S THE BADDEST!? NO HOLDS BARRED! And you know something, PRL? You are treading in water where only the big boys can play! And I am the biggest boy in the game right now! This Sunday night, I am going to show the world that you needed The Lightning Crew to survive in the wrestling business! I am going to show the world that without The Lightning Crew you cannot hack it! I am going to show the world this Sunday that everything you got you got because of me, or Mr. Boricua, or Vitamin X, or The Bone Thug, or Thomas Rodriguez, or anyone else in The Lightning Crew! This Sunday night, the whole world will see just how much of a weakling, just how much of a FRAUD, just how much of a LOSER you really are! Pay-per-view, The Great Angle Bash 2008, PRL, you are looking at the next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! 

Cuban Wall smiles an evil smile as the camera cuts to the matchup graphic for Tha Puerto Rican vs. Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008. "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys is still playing. The camera cuts to Tha Puerto Rican standing in the OAOAST Control Center. Tha Puerto Rican is wearing his Puerto Rican flag bandana, an earring in his left ear, a gold chain around his neck, a white dress shirt, a grey vest, a $500 Rolex watch on his right wrist, and black dress pants with a leather belt to hold them up. PRL has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. 

THA PUERTO RICAN
A No Holds Barred Match against the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall. You know, everybody is wondering, 'PRL, that really isn't your style! Aren't you a little bit worried?' You know something? First, everybody told me that an Ultimate X Match with my career on the line was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong! THEN, everybody told me that a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year in front of over 100,000-plus fans at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California with a biased referee officiating was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong AGAIN! THEN, everybody told me that a Triple Threat Match against two of the most talented wrestlers in the world today for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship was not...my...style! And I PROVED them WRONG AGAIN! I have PROVED my diversity to Spanish Fly! I have PROVED my diversity to Stephen Joseph Popick! I have PROVED my diversity to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix AND "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez! I have PROVED my diversity to everybody else in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And NOW, everybody is telling me that fighting is not...my...style! Well, incase you haven't gotten it by now: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO! I've got news for you: MY STYLE IS WHATEVER IT WANTS TO BE! 

The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican's face as he continues speaking, FIRED UP~! "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys is still playing in the background. 

THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D)
This Sunday night, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at The Great Angle Bash 2008, in the No Holds Barred Match, I will show you Cuban Wall just how great I truly am! I am going to show you just how overrated The Lightning Crew was and how USELESS they really were to me! This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to show you, The Lightning Bolts, and the WHOLE WORLD THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE! And that I AM THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING AND THE GREATEST PUERTO RICAN ATHLETE IN THE WORLD TODAY! In Minneapolis, Cuban Wall, you are going to find out just how much of a USELESS LACKEY you were to me when I WHOOP your 6'7" 285 pound fat ass all over the Target Center! Cuban Wall, watch out for the lightning strikes, because this Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, you will suffer a P.R. Nightmare after I layeth the smacketh down on your candy ass! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!!

Tha Puerto Rican does The People's Eyebrow. He then sneers at the camera while breathing hard. He is visibly shaking, he is SO FIRED UP, DAMNIT~! The camera continues its close-up of Tha Puerto Rican's face IN ANGER~! as "Gratitude" by The Beastie Boys ends. We fade out on Tha Puerto Rican's sneering, visibly shaking face.

[b]FADE OUT[/b]

Edited June 27, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield