Tony149 0 Report post Posted June 29, 2008 (edited) * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! Fade in to a dressing room. The room is packed with referees, wrestlers, road hands, and assorted people with those laminated cards that you see in the back during promos who don't actually do anything. Their chatter is separate, but are combined, causing a loud-ish hum. Theodore Moneymaker stands at the head of the room, with CPA menacing eying down anyone who dares give him a disagreeable look. Despite the fact that half the attendees are stewing with disgust for him, Moneymaker stands with a casual confidence. MONEYMAKER Ladies and gentlemen, I am a friend to some of you, and an enemy to many of you. I feel love in this room, and yet I also feel an intense hatred. Tonight I ask you to put aside your selfish personal beliefs and look to a better future. Yesterday was dark, horrible, and painful. Tomorrow promises light, goodness, and pleasure. But only if we work together for a better OAOAST! And only if we lend our full support to our new OAOAST President. Please welcome this fine human being... The room slowly goes silent as a sharply dressed business woman walks past them and stands next to a desk, where she picks up a clipboard and starts checking things. Immediately behind her walks the NEW OAOAST PRESIDENT JOSIE BAKER!~!~ The fans erupt as she walks through the crowd of people, puffing away at her cigarette. She finally reaches the desk and sits, stubbing out her cigarette as she takes off her RAY-BAN WAYFARERS!~! and looks around at the crowd of people. All eyes are on her as she clears her throat and leans back. JOSIE Thank you, Theodore.. Ladies and gentlemen... I've traveled over half the country to be here tonight. I couldn't get away sooner because my new federation was coming in at Coyote Hills and I had to see about it. That fed is now flowing at two dozen wrestlers on the payroll and it's paying me an income of fifty thousand dollars a week. I have two others in the WWE and I have sixteen producing at OVW. So, ladies and gentlemen... if I say I'm a wrestling girl, you will agree. You have a great chance here, but bear in mind, you can lose it all if you're not careful. Out of all men that beg for a chance to be the General Manager, maybe one in twenty will be wrestling fans; the rest will be speculators - men trying to get between you and the fans - to get some of the money that ought by rights come to you. Even if you find one that has money, and means to do general managing, he'll maybe known nothing about it and he'll have to hire out the job on contract, and then you're depending on a Steven Popick type that's trying to rush the job through so he can get another title shot just as quick as he can. This is the way this works. DOCTOR STEPHEN PIGLEY So what is your offer? We're wasting time. Josie looks around the room and smiles. JOSIE I do my own booking. And the men that work for me, work for me and they are men I know. I make it my business to be there and see to their work. I don't lose my wrestlers to other feds and spend months finding replacements; I don't botch the Main Events and let ridiculous people get ridiculous title shots. I'm a family woman- I run a family business. This is my cousin and my partner, Sophie Grey. Josie indicates Sophie, who nods. JOSIE We offer you the bond of family that very few General Managers can understand. I'm fixed like no other GM in this field and that's because my Coyote Hills fed has just come in. I have a string of wrestlers all ready to work. I can load a ring onto trucks and have them here in a week. I have business connections so I can get the better referees for the matches. CLEM BUZZLEFOXER WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?! Moneymaker mouths the words “She didn't mean you, Clem” which is enough to get the elderly referee to be quiet and smile. JOSIE ...Such things go by friendship in a rush like this. And this is why I can guarantee to start managing and put up the matches to back my word. And to prove it, I'd like to take this opportunity to announce a special two month event. A first in OAOAST history, a Money In The Bank tournament! Surprised murmurs go up from the gathered wrestlers, as they try to gain more information about this historic event. JOSIE With the help of Theodore's insights into the roster and reports from my own scouting department I have selected sixteen of the OAOAST's best sports entertainers to compete for a guaranteed title shot to be used whenever they want. The finals will occur at Angleslam, and there someone will cement their legacy in the OAOAST. And as a very generous gift, Theodore has volunteered to give half a million dollars to the winner of the tournament. That creates quite the buzz in the audience, because money=doubleplusgood. Moneymaker simply stands with his same cool and casual smile, knowing that half a million dollars might be enough to cool the heat currently on him. JOSIE I assure you, whatever the others promise to do, when it comes to the showdown, they won't be there... The people in the room nod and lightly applaud. Josie smiles wide. JOSIE ...Punch and Pie in the room next door. EVERYONE piles out in a rush as the camera fades to.... black. HA! GOT YOUR HOPES UP!! Instead of the traditional celebration of Americana opening, the OAOAST marketing department opted to bring you a partly clothed Maggie Nerdly up in the heavens following a bright light that leads her to the Pearly Gates, which automatically open. Maggie continues on her journey in awe of footage highlighting past Great Angle Bashes on a stretched video wall until reaching a fully furnished room complete with HDTV. She throws herself on a puffy cloud positioned in the center, grabs the remote control and points at the screen to end this rush job of an opening. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" LIVE! Minneapolis, Minnesota Cue the motion sickness as we randomly and wildly pan around the sea of heads jammed inside the Target Center for the 7th annual Great Angle Bash. We then make our way over to Sofa Central where we join Michael Cole and The Coach. COLE Welcome to Minneapolis, Minnesota, and welcome to the 7th annual Great Angle Bash. And Coach, what a shocker to open the telecast. Out of a who's who of hopefuls, JOSIE BAKER has been selected by the OAOAST Board of Directors to succeed Anglesault as OAOAST President. COACH I guess we'll have a female president after all; not for America but the OAOAST. Josie Barker damn sure didn't waste any time making her first decision, Cole, announcing a Money in the Bank tournament with the winner not only receiving a title at the OAOAST Championship but a HALF A MILLION DOLLARS! COLE Theodore Moneymaker's attempt to cool the heat on him for his role getting the very popular Anglesault dismissed. COACH Popular with who, hookers? COLE COACH I'm not a role model, but I understand I have a certain moral obligation with the position I hold. Something you ought to remember next time you go visit Los Diablos de Fuego at their favorite bar. COLE Uh, I'm ready for some action-- I mean WRESTLING ACTION and not any other kind of frowned upon action. So let's head up to the ring for our first contest. COACH (staring at Cole) Edited July 1, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted June 30, 2008 (edited) “Rise Against” by Like the Angels blaring overhead, two pyro missiles shoot down on the stage that releases a cloud of purple haze, which the identical twin sensations known as the Christ Air Express burst out through. BUFFER This is our opening contest, a special challenge match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Laguna Beach, California, total combined weight 370 pounds, former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Flashing the RAWK~ hand signal, MARV and MEL sprint past screaming admirers and into the ring via stereo top rope moonsaults before melting hearts and panties by removing their bedazzled jackets. COLE We kick things off with tag team action, and the answer to the billion dollar question: who has Theodore Moneymaker selected to face the Christ Air Express? COACH That’s been the burning topic all day on the OAOAST Hot Newzline, Cole. A lot of people believe that it’ll be the Beverly Hills Blonds, and I tend to agree myself. COLE As do I, because Theodore Moneymaker always pays someone else to fight his battles. Is he afraid to break a sweat or what? When’s the last time he’s wrestled? BUFFER And their opponents…! Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith To everyone’s surprise, but the CAE’s delight, THEODORE MONEYMAKER and CHRISTIAN WRIGHT appear onstage. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, my! It IS Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. They’ve accepted the challenge. COACH (laughs) How stupid do you sound now, Mikey? Anxious to get things underway, MARV and MEL summon their opponents. But Moneymaker has something to say first. MONEYMAKER Pardon me. Your attention please. It’s with deep regret that I must inform all of you Mr. Wright and yours truly ARE NOT their opponents. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing we’d rather do than send the Christ Air Express down a social class level, but with the threat of a democrat in the White House I don’t want them to be rewarded for sitting around their parents’ basement getting stoned all day. I want my tax dollars used to keep our great country safe, not to help a bunch of freeloaders! But if you’d rather collect unemployment crashing in 24/7 then it won’t be because you’re too lazy to find work…IT’S BECAUSE YOU CAN’T! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nonpoint’s cover of the Phil Collins classic “In the Air Tonight” is cued for CPA and… DETECTIVE BOSLEY!? Both men led out by the lovely Mackenzie DeCenzo. COLE What is the name of the OAOAST First Responders Unit’s basis principles is Detective Tango Bosley doing with CPA? Has he been paid for? The answer is yes, apparently, as Bosley shakes the hands of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH And the rich keep getting richer, Cole. COLE You can say that again. The men who violated Anglesault's rights by instigating a sting operation together? Wow. MARV and MEL signal for ring announcer Michael Buffer to exit, then hurl themselves at CPA and Bosley, only to be caught and violently disregarded. CPA delivering a FRONT SPINEBUSTER TO MEL ON THE RAMP while Bosley DROPS MARV FACE-FIRST ONTO THE STEEL STEPS BELOW!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CPA pauses to take a puff of his cigar as two annoying fans chant “THIS IS AWESOME” through a MEGAPHONE complete with “clap, clap, clap, clap, clap” instead of just clapping. Turns out it’s none other than the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS sitting front row eating popcorn and drinking adult beverages. Molly Nerdly cutting rapidly between filming them and the action in the ring. COLE Things aren’t looking too good for the Christ Air Express. In addition to their size and weight disadvantage, they’re outnumbered 8-2. Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo viewing the action from the main stage, the Beverly Hills Blonds and Molly Nerdly ringside, and inside with CPA and Tango Bosley. COACH CPA and the Alpha Male have been taking care of business, Cole. The others haven’t interfered in any way, shape or form. CPA dumps MEL inside and lets Bosley handle the rest. Knowing he doesn’t get paid by the hour like his other job, Bosley immediately makes the cover. ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Roundhouse kick and backhand judo chop stun MEL, who’s then shot off to the ropes and drilled by a SPRINGBOARD BACK ELBOW. A tag is made and CPA PRESS SLAMS MEL, following it up with a POWERSLAM! The damage done, CPA tags Bosley back in. The OAOAST's self-proclaimed Alpha Male sending MEL for the ride, but whiffs on a clothesline and eats a spinning heel kick on the rebound! MEL pops to his feet and dropkicks CPA off the apron, knocking the cigar out of his mouth! COACH What a cheap shot. But I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. COLE You’re exactly right there. MEL showing no fear having to go at it alone while brother MARV remains down outside. MEL charges back at Detective Bosley, but right into a SPINNING SIDE SLAM… WHICH HE COUNTERS INTO A SWINGING BULLDOG!! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! MEL calls his next shot, signaling for the sit-out power slam he calls Melanoma, only to eat a BIG BOOT from CPA as he scoops Bosley up. MONEYMAKER COACH The Christ Air Express’ chances just went from slim to none, Cole. One tough cop, Bosley verbally abuses MEL as he kicks the shit out of him. Following a tag CPA wraps MEL in a bear hug, then rams him into the turnbuckle. MEL crumbles to his knees and towards the center of the ring on all fours, where he’s pummeled by a series of cross faces. “THIS IS AWE-SOME!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" “THIS IS AWE-SOME!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Somebody shut those blond idiots up ringside! CPA presses MEL overhead and down with a power slam! ONE… TWO… No, CPA and Bosley aren’t done having fun with MEL yet. CPA whips MEL into the ropes and tags Detective Bosley, who connects with a SLINGSHOT SHOULDERBLOCK. He lifts MEL to his feet and spikes him with the NYPD-DT! The cover. ONE… TWO… NO, SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP FROM MARV BREAKS UP THE PIN! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV then drags MEL to their corner and tags himself in. Employing a hit and run strategy MARV is able to fight off two men, at least for the time being. Running dropkick levels Bosley but hardly fazes CPA, so MARV RAKES THE EYES AND CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP! SIMON & NED YOU CAN’T WRESTLE! *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* YOU CAN’T WRESTLE! *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Bosley clubs MARV from behind and sets him for the LONG ARMS OF THE LAW, but MARV slips out and yanks him down with a FLATLINER as brother MEL delivers the ENZIGURI~! COLE After selling out to the devil himself, I bet Detective Bosley thought he’d never make it to the Pearly Gates. ONE… TWO… SAVE BY CPA! DOUBLE KICKFLIP brushes CPA back against the ropes. Still unable to knock the big man off his feet, the Christ Air Express go for a DOUBLE SUPLEX…which CPA easily counters into one of his own. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Whipped across, the CAE duck under a pair of clotheslines and DIVE OUT THROUGH THE ROPES AND INTO THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS RINGSIDE! COLE Halleluiah! The curtains have lowered on the Beverly Hills Blonds, not to mention the boom. “THIS IS AWE-SOME!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* “THIS IS AWE-SOME!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* “THIS IS AWE-SOME!” *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap* COACH Listen to them mock the injured like that, Cole. Stay classy Minneapolis. COLE A phrase as annoying and tiresome as the one Simon and Ned ran into the ground here tonight. Molly throws popcorn in disgust at her brothers. Then in a shocking turn of events MARV and MEL move in for a KISS until realizing it’s their sister and not some random skank. CPA and Bosley join the guys outside and brawl around before MARV and Bosley, the legal men, take it back in. Bosley reverses an Irish whip and drops down, MARV answering with a STANDING MOONSAULT and the cover! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! MARV slams Bosley near the corner and heads up top, twirling both hands in the air. Meanwhile, outside, CPA posts MEL into the steel and shoves MARV down to the mat. Bosley quickly scoops him up and delivers an ATOMIC DROP as CPA connects with the GIGATON PUNCH! COACH You can stick a fork in MARV, Cole, he’s done. Out cold, the referee immediately calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, the team of CPA and DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Enterprise gathers inside for a celebration. Mackenzie DeCenzo lighting one up for CPA and Bosley, whose hands are raised in triumph by Theodore Moneymaker. COLE An impressive win for the brand new team of CPA and Tango Bosley. But I have to wonder what's going through the mind of Bosley's former partner EMT Tim. COACH I wouldn't worry about Tim. Nobody does! Until you brought up his name he never crossed my mind. MONEYMAKER We're takin it way back to the 04! The epic and blusey meanderings of Citizen Cope's as we see a drifter slowly traversing the side of a desert rode. His head is lowered, he looks to be entranced in the fleeting memories of his past glory. Between the images of this somber reflective man we see various OAOAST superstars in their own moments of grand achievement. The shots of their success are gritty and grainy, as if it were footage coming from some long forgotten time. Rollin' down a highway Like a rocket God I'm headed to town now Can't stop it With the wheels in my hand As I stand On the floor Of the board Of this car On the road 10 COMBINED TAG TEAM TITLES 6 COMBINED HEARTLAND TITLES 5 COMBINED WORLD TITLES 1 UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP 1 LETHAL RUMBLE VICTORY 1 ANGLEMANIA MAINEVENT 500,000 DOLLARS 1 GUARANTEED WORLD TITLE SHOT Got this woman in the back seat She my wifey In the middle of delivery Man she saves me To this day I don't know why She picked me up When I was down On the road With the wind And it blowed A BATTLE OF SKILL AND A BATTLE OF WILL 16 ATHLETIC GODS TOWERING OVER ALL COMPETITION ~THE MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT~ Well the son's gonna rise in a mile In a mile you'll be feeling fine In a mile you will see, after me You'll be out of the dark Yeah you'll get your shot ROUND 1 “The Birmingham Bad Boy” Jamie O'Hara vs. Reject Spanish Fly vs. "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez The Mad Cappa vs. Cuban Wall (or PRL pending tonight's outcome) “Miss California” Krista Isadora Duncan vs. ThunderKid Rollin' down a highway Like a rocket Well I'm headed to town now Can't stop it With the wheels in my hand As I stand On the floor Of the board Of this car ROUND 1 “The Lonestar Gunslinger” Baron Windells vs. Alfdogg “Mr. Dick” Jock Mulligan vs. “The Metrosexual Monster" Bohemoth Christian Wright vs. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix Colombian Heat vs. Faqu Yeah the son's gonna rise in a mile In a mile, you'll be feeling fine In a mile you will see, after me You'll be out of the dark Yeah you'll get your shot yeah BEGINNING THIS THURSDAY ON HeldDOWN~! Edited July 1, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted June 30, 2008 (edited) BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your 14 man, over the top rope Land Of Opportunity Battle Royal! The last man standing and winner will recieve a shot at the OAOAST United States Champion, Colombian Heat, at the conclusion of this match! And now, introducing the participants. The Minneapolis crowd embrace their feminine sides and give it up for Geri Haliwell's version of "It's Raining Men". Out from the back bound Mariachi and Moracca, bumping and grinding with each other on the top of the ramp before skipping their merry way to the ring. BUFFER First, from sunny Cabo San Lucas... the sexiest team in AAAAALL of Mehico! MORACCA and MARIACHI... LLLOOOOSSS DDIIIIIIAAAAAAAABBLLLLLLOOOOOOOSSSSS DDEEEEEEEEE FFFFFUUUUUEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COACH Can you imagine one of these guys as US Champion? Ick! "Gold Dust Woman" by Hole hits and out march the perrenial underdogs, Los Conquistadors. BUFFER From Santa Fe, New Mexico by way of Tijuana, Mexico... UNO e DOS... LLLOOOSSSSS CCOOOONNQQUUUIIIIIIISSSTTAAAAADDOOOOORRRRRRSSSSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The four masked Mexicans come face to face and argue in the ring and things threaten to break down. Before they can come to blows between the latex covered foursome though, "The Star Wars Theme (Disco Version)" inexplicably begins to play and green smoke billows out from under the ring! COLE OH. MY. GOD! People in the crowd with long memories and strange sense of humour cheer wildly, as out from under the ring crawls our long-lost alien pal, "It"! BUFFER From Parts Really Unknown... "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIT" THE ALIEN!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The bickering in the ring stops and all four look in confusion at the slithering figure entering the ring. The gold bodysuit, face-painted jobbers Uno and Dos look at the pink clad masked homosexual luchadors from south of the border Moracca and Mariachi, as if to say "this guy is weird." COACH Has he been under the ring this whole time!? COLE You never know what to expect in the OAOAST! "It" sits in the corner sniffing the bottom turnbuckle. Meanwhile, bagpipe music begins to blare through the speakers. BUFFER Hailing from The Scottish Highlands... they are DANNY BOY and SCOTTISH SCOTT, THE LAST KINGS OF SSCCOOOOOOTTLLLLLAAAAAANNDD!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "OI!" "Fix Up, Looks Sharp" hits next and the crowd finally come to their feet for the arrival of Jamie O'Hara! COLE Here comes a favourite! BUFFER Hailing from Birmingham, England... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Vaulting in over the top acrobatically, O'Hara takes his corner. As he does so, "No Chance In Hell" powers out to bring the next two entrants, former members of the defunct Corporation. BUFFER From Tijuana, Mexico... he is the SSPPAAAAAAANNIIIISSSSHHHHHHHH... FFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And also from Tijuana, Mexico... MMIIIIIISSSSSTTEEEEEERRRRRR BBOOOOORRRRRRRRIIIIICCUUUUUUAAAAAAA!!! also "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE How Spanish Fly would love to get another shot at his former tag team partner here tonight. COACH Oh definately. Spanish Fly isn't going to rest until Heat has paid for all the embarrassment he's caused him. And Fly enters the ring and runs through some instructions with Boricua, "Master Blaster (Jammin')" by Stevie Wonder hits. BUFFER Hailing from Montego Bay, Jamaica... DDEEEEEENNNNNZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL... SSSSSPPEEEEEEEEENNCCCEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" MIKE ADAMLE JAMAICAN ME CRAZY, DENZEL! COLE What the... get out of here! MIKE ADAMLE Uno, dos, Adios! *disappears* COLE Things just get weirder and weirder around here. Denzel slides in with a big, relaxed smile on his face. He even takes the time to scale the turnbuckles and salute the fans despite the bodies all around him. Je t'adore, je t'adore... His mood suddenly changes though as he hears the intro to "Girls, Girls, Girls" by Jay-Z though. BUFFER Originally from Thunder Bay, Ontario Canada and Montego Bay, Jamaica respectively. The team of, "AFTER HOURS" FFEEEEELLLIIIIIXXXXX SSSSSTTRRRRRRUUUUUTTEEEEEERRRRRRR... and, RRREEEEEEEEGGGIIIIIEEEEEEE LLLLLLAAAAAAAAMMMOOOOOOONNTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wait a second... how did Reggie Lamont and Felix Strutter get in this battle royal!? They both relocated to California months ago! COACH Yeah but they're still foreigners. They were two of the most discriminated against by Anglesault too! Felix is still Canadian and Reggie's still... MIKE ADAMLE JAMAICAN ME CRAZY, REGGIE! COLE Alright that's it, can we get some security out here please? As the drunk (that can be the only explanation, surely!?) Adamle is carted out of the arena, the grinning duo of Lamont and Strutter stroll to the ring and enter well out of Denzel's way. They high-five and look around the rest of the field around the edge of the ring. COACH What's the hold up? COLE Well, I only count thirteen guys Coach. Looks like we're missing somebody. But who? .:CUE: Prince, "Black Sweat":. "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH EVERY DAMN TIME! The earth itself threatens to blast off it's own path of orbit as MISTER WARRIOR sprints to the ring through a cloud of pink smoke! Doing a lap of the ring, he pumps his fists to the skies like a madman before entering the ring. Also like a madman. Infact, I guess that phrase is reduntant right now. COACH Okay, I know it's tradition and all, it's a battle royal. But, how the hell is Warrior eligible for this!? COLE Well he's not from America. He's from The Heavens. COACH Now even you've gotta admit that's a weaker excuse than Reggie and Felix. But then again, with Black, Blonde and Faqu in War Games, you gotta take what you can I guess. Warrior SHAKES~! the ropes, before pumping his fists to the unknown spirits again. All others look on in confusion. *DINGDINGDING* The bell sounds and immediately Mister Warrior lets out an almighty roar and clotheslines both of Los Conquistadors up and over the top!! COLE Well, that was to be expected I suppose. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOS CONQUISTADORS LEFT: joint 1st ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Mister Warrior LEFT IN RING: 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quickly the other men in the match pile towards each other in typical battle royal fashion, mainly to avoid following the fate of Los Conquistadors. As battles go on across all four sides of the ring, Mister Warrior stands beating his chest. Nobody comes towards him, so he beats some chest some more. ...and still nobody advances on him, causing Warrior to stop and wonder what the hell's going on. COACH I don't think Mister Warrior's used to being ignored somehow. Warrior stands with his hands on his hips, watching everyone else slug it out around him. Eventually though, he gets tired of waiting for the usual occurance of someone being stupid enough to try and attack him, instead going over to where The Last Kings Of Scotland are working over Jamie O'Hara. Tapping Danny Boy on the shoulder, he waits for him to turn around... and promply clotheslines him over the top! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DANNY BOY LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Mister Warrior LEFT IN RING: 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scottish Scott doesn't seem to notice his partner's elimination and continues to stomp away. He does notice the tap on the shoulder though... and turns around to take a clothesline up and out as well! COLE There goes another! At this rate, Warrior could win this thing! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SCOTTISH SCOTT LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Mister Warrior LEFT IN RING: 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As O'Hara pulls himself up on the ropes, Warrior stays with his simple but effective gameplan. He taps O'Hara on the shoulder, takes the step back, pats his forearm, claps his hands together, runs in... ...and goes flying up and over O'Hara and the top rope! COLE Or not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MISTER WARRIOR LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Los Conquistadors, Last Kings Of Scotland ELIMINATED BY: Jamie O'Hara LEFT IN RING: 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Far from being disappointed at being eliminated, Warrior pumps his fists before running up the ramp and wiping out The Last Kings Of Scotland with clotheslines! Warrior then wipes out Los Conquistadors with clotheslines from behind! He then beats his chest again and sprints out of sight! COLE And now the battle royal starts in earnest. COACH Except the alien dude is still in there. COLE It. COACH ...it what? COLE It. It's it's name. COACH What is? COLE No, It is. COACH What do you mean "no, it is"? It's what? COLE It's an alien. COACH Yeah, but what's it's name? COLE It! COACH Where's Adamle when you need him? O'Hara gets back in the action and goes to help Los Diablos out as they battle Reggie Lamont and Felix Strutter. Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua double-team Denzel Spencer across the ring. "It" meanwhile wanders around inquisitively. Spotting him, Spanish Fly walks over and aims for his head with a spinning heel kick. But "It" ducks and slithers across the mat to create space, then leaps up and hits a dropkick on Fly. MIKE ADAMLE Leg kick by The It! COLE You had to call him back, didn't you! SECURITY! Rather than follow up, "It" slithers back over to the bottom turnbuckle. Alone with Denzel now, Boricua experiences some fight back from the Jamaican. He lands punches to rock the bigman, then pushes up on the top rope to drive two feet to the sternum. A second time sends Boricua staggering backwards, so Denzel climbs to the second rope. As he comes flying off though, Boricua simply swats him out of the air with a body attack! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" O'Hara and Reggie battle in a corner. That leaves poor Felix with Los Diablos, backing him up with right hands before connecting with a Double Dropkick. Excitedly, the Mexicans then double up again, surrounding Strutter and trapping him in their special Double Bearhug! COACH Oh no! COLE Felix Strutter in the middle of the Homies Hug! COACH This is just straight up disturbing. The 'homies' rub their hands sensually up and down each other's backs while Strutter freaks out in between unable to get out. Luckily for him, Reggie is able to clothesline down O'Hara and get over to break the hug up. COLE Reggie Lamont looking out for his tag team partner. Two men we've not seen a lot of in recent months, which has been much to their frustration. A big opportunity for both men tonight though. Boricua elevates Denzel to the top and tries to eliminate him. Behind him, Strutter and Reggie pull off double whips on Los Diablos. Both men duck their heads and both are evaded with baseball slides. Going through the legs, Moracca and Mariachi PINCH THEIR OPPONENTS' BUTTS! Reggie freaks and turns to Felix, assuming he did it. He freaks even more when Felix doesn't seem too bothered by what he thinks was his partner's show of affection. They soon figure out it was the pesky Mexicans though and turn around, into stereo dropkicks! COACH These guys are a sexual harrassment suit waiting to happen. Pulling himself in under the bottom rope Denzel avoids elimination. Boricua leaves him be and instead watches as Los Diablos celebrate their dropkicks. Noticing the big Mexican, Los Diablos get a rush of blood to the peni... uh, brain, and rush towards him... but run right into a BIG Double Clothesline! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Boricua ain't too bright, but he can throw a mean clothesline or two. COLE And Los Diablos' excitement was short lived. Boricua scoops Mariachi up as he gets to his feet... and just dumps him over the top, bumping off the apron hard to the floor! COLE There goes a Diablo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARIACHI LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Mr. Boricua LEFT IN RING: 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Boricua turns around and sees Jamie O'Hara launching towards him off the middle rope. The Englishman connects with a Missile Dropkick, but only staggers the bigman. He then hits the ropes, but misjudges his run and gets scooped up and dropped with a Sidewalk Slam! COLE Boricua is taking charge here. COACH There's nobody gonna match him for size now either. Grunting, Boricua waits for Denzel Spencer to get back up, Chokeslam hand readied. Curious at this is "It". The alien, clearly having never seen anything like this while encountering the human race, wanders up behind Boricua and tries to climb up onto his back. Boricua angrily shoves him off, but "It" tries to climb him again. COLE Is It trying to... to RIDE Mr. Boricua!? Angrily Boricua swats him away again, then turns around and throws a big right hand... ...which "It" treats with evasive action, causing Boricua to hit Spanish Fly right in the face! Boricua holds his hands on his head as Fly staggers back up and starts shouting at him. Fly berates his former Lightning Crew/Corporation team-mate for his stupidity. And before Boricua can do anything but apologise, Felix Strutter and Reggie Lamont rush him from behind. Felix and Reggie bundle Boricua into the ropes. Picking himself up, O'Hara lends a hand trying to lift the bigman. And so too does Denzel Spencer. Spanish Fly just watches with hands on hips... ...as Boricua is toppled out!!! COLE And there goes the beef! Spanish Fly didn't lift a finger to help and Boricua is gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MR. BORICUA LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: Mariachi ELIMINATED BY: Felix Strutter, Reggie Lamont, Jamie O'Hara, Denzel Spencer LEFT IN RING: 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Seeing everybody else gathered by the ropes, "It" wanders over in an attempt to 'blend in with the humans'. Which fails miserably, as Reggie Lamont grabs him and pitches him over the top with utter contempt! COACH Oh thank goodness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "IT" THE ALIEN LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Reggie Lamont LEFT IN RING: 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Down to six, the field suddenly pairs off. Spanish Fly jumps Moracca with stomps as he tries to get up, Reggie targets O'Hara while Felix and Denzel start duking it out. Exchanging right hands, Strutter gets a thumb in the eye on Denzel and looks for an irish whip. The Jamaican spins to arm's length and boots Felix in the gut, hitting the ropes with an Scissors Ki... NO! Strutter pulls his head clear, grabbing a waistlock and looking for a German Suple... NO! Denzel floats all the way over and lands on his feet! Getting back up quickly, Strutter charges at Denzel... but Denzel ducks his head and backdrops Strutter... ...over the top, but only to the APRON! COLE Oh, Felix barely hangs on! Close call there. Grabbing the back of Denzel's head, Strutter drops and hangs his neck across the top rope. Away staggers Denzel into the middle of the ring. Strutter quickly sets himself and springboards to the top, soaring in... AND GETTING DROPKICKED IN MID-AIR!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Denzel kips-up and fires up the Minneapolis crowd... for a second, before his former partner mows through him with an Axe Kick!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What a shot from Reggie Lamont, excellent athleticism from a 6'5, 260 pounder! COACH Hey, my boy's got mad skills yo. Or, something. Picking Denzel up, Reggie prepares to eliminate him. Before he can do so though O'Hara attacks from behind with forearms. Reggie drops Denzel and fends O'Hara off with body-shots. Reggie then shoves O'Hara away, but the Brit uses the momentum coming back off the ropes to connect with a Busaiku Knee Kick to knock him down! As soon as O'Hara jumps back to his feet though, he's jumped from behind by Spanish Fly! Fly beats Jamie with forearms before encouraging him to turn around, right into a Spinning Heel Kick to the face! "CRY - BABY!" "CRY - BABY!" "CRY - BABY!" "CRY - BABY!" COLE These fans in Minneapolis really getting on Spanish Fly's back here. Fly manages to get undistracted from the fans, in time to cut Moracca off with a boot to the gut as he charges in. He follows up with a boot to the side of the head, sending the bright pink luchador sprawling across the middle rope. Big smile on his face, Fly throws an 'up yours' to the jeering fans and runs the ropes. Dodging past Reggie as he goes after O'Hara, Fly comes back with the 619... ...NO! Moracca moves out of the way! Fly ends up spinning back onto his feet and takes a boot, Moracca putting the leg over the head for the Fameasser. Snapping upright, Fly escapes and sends Moracca backflipping into the air, landing on his feet and charging with a clothesline, which Fly ducks, backdropping Moracca up and to the floor!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH Ha! That's how you answer your critics! COLE So much for the epic Heat versus Fuego confrontation. Moracca, eliminated. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MORACCA LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: None ELIMINATED BY: Spanish Fly LEFT IN RING: 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fly quickly Denzel Spencer and stomps away while thing are going his way. Back up, Felix Strutter joins Reggie in stomping away on O'Hara before they pick him up. Reggie scoops O'Hara up over his shoulder for a Dominator, only to drive him ribs first across the outstretched knee of After Hours!! Reggie and Felix high-five, then seperate as Strutter goes for the elimination on the Englishman while Lamont strolls across the ring. COLE So we are down to our final five here. One of these men will be challenging Colombian Heat for the United States Title in a matter of minutes. COACH And you've gotta like the chances of Reggie and Felix right now. After a tap on the shoulder, Spanish Fly is told to 'buzz off' by Reggie who takes over on his former Team Jamaica tag team partner. Fly doesn't look too concerned and leaves them to it... ...before sneaking up on Felix Strutter and trying to pitch both he and O'Hara out! COLE I tell you, that Spanish Fly is sneaky. I guess when you're that small you do what you have to do in a battle royal, but I'm talking life in general. COACH A height joke? Real mature partner. O'Hara goes over the ropes but with no real force, thanks to Strutter's predicament. He rolls back in from the apron and away to safety, while Strutter lands a couple of elbows to fight off Fly. Back inside, Strutter swings and misses with a clothesline as Fly swoops underneath. The 4'11 Fly launches onto the middle rope, twisting back with a crossbody block that wipes out Strutter. After taunting his landing pad, Fly then turns around and gets grabbed by Jamie O'Hara, ran across the ring and pitched over the top... ...BUT FLY HANGS ONTO THE TOP ROPE and pulls himself back in!! COLE Spanish Fly surviving by the skin of his teeth! Quickly, Fly jumps O'Hara with a shot from behind. Behind him, Denzel is whipped across the ring by Lamont, looking for another Bicycle Kick. Denzel ducks underneath this time though, measuring Reggie up for a SUPERKICK! Down goes the bigman, backed up by Strutter... who gets caught with a trailing boot in the gut, then dropped with a leapfrog from behind into a Scissors Kick by the Jamaican! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Tremendous innovation from Denzel Spencer! COACH Yeah, but he's Jamaican a big mistake turning his back... Caught putting the badmouth on both Strutter and Lamont, Denzel is grabbed from behind by Spanish Fly. Fly grabs tights and hair and throws Denzel up over the top rope with a big smile on his face. The smile disappears quickly though as Denzel hangs on, feet hovering inches from the arena floor. As Fly goes to put the finishing touches to the elimination, Denzel then suddenly skins the cat... hooking his feet around Fly's head on the way in... ...AND HAULING HIM OVER THE TOP WITH A HEADSCISSORS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Goodbye, Spanish Fly! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SPANISH FLY LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: Moracca ELIMINATED BY: Denzel Spencer LEFT IN RING: 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Denzel skins the cat for a second time, back inside. As Fly throws a fit on the outside Denzel flashes him a big Jamaican smile and waves him bye-bye... ...only to join him on the floor second later as the waiting Felix CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Aw, but Denzel got distracted! And Felix Strutter, with the presence of mind to take advantage, we are down to three! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DENZEL SPENCER LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: Mr. Boricua (co), Spanish Fly ELIMINATED BY: Felix Strutter LEFT IN RING: 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Frustrated at his mistake Denzel slaps the ring apron. Spanish Fly feels slightly better about things now, but still swats away referees as he's directed towards the back. In the ring, this leaves just three. Strutter helps Reggie back to his feet, both looking across the ring to where Jamie O'Hara stands in the corner. COACH I wouldn't wanna be Jamie O'Hara right about now. Or ever. But especially now. COLE Well we are left with three, Jamie O'Hara, Reggie Lamont and Felix Strutter, two men who arguably shouldn't have even been in this battle royal in the first place! "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" Pumping fists, Felix and Reggie begin to advance on O'Hara who finds himself getting trapped in the corner. And as Felix and Reggie get within touching distance he has to think quickly. Jumping to the middle rope, he somersaults forwards and out of the corner. Felix and Reggie part to get out of the way and O'Hara is free, hitting the ropes and diving at the regrouping pair with a crossbody... but they catch him in their arms! COLE Oh, O'Hara is caught now! As O'Hara kicks to try and get free, Felix tosses the legs away to let Reggie take over. O'Hara slides down off of Reggie's shoulder though and shoves him into his partner for a collision of heads! COLE Was caught anyway. Down goes Strutter, Reggie apologising briefly before being dropkicked down with him. O'Hara then picks Strutter back up and walks him over to the ropes before trying to eliminate him. Strutter hangs onto the top rope and refuses to go, holding on long enough for Reggie to recover and jump O'Hara from behind. He clubs away with forearms, Felix joining in to leave SuperJay well and truly grounded. Together, Felix and Reggie pool their efforts, picking O'Hara up and sending him off the ropes with a double whip. A double elbow knocks O'Hara down. Reggie then latches onto O'Hara legs and elevates him off the mat before taking off around the ring with the Giant Swing! Around and around and around they go. Where they stop, only Felix Strutter knows, as he times the rotations... AND DELIVERS A DROPKICK TO THE HEAD OF THE SWINGING O'HARA!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Right to the side of the head, what a shot! O'Hara could be out cold. COACH There was some pent-up frustration behind that dropkick Cole. That had AngleSault's name on it, just like this ring... and the banners... and our desk... holy hell, is there anything that man-whore hasn't advertised himself on around here!? Strutter puts the badmouth on O'Hara as Reggie poses with arms overhead towards the crowd. Patting his partner on the back, Felix then gives the signal to 'dump him'. COLE Strutter going to get Reggie to do the dirtywork? COACH Well Reggie's the bigger guy. Easier for him to throw somebody out, it makes sense. COLE Plus once he's thrown out O'Hara his back'll turned, how about that? Reggie pulls O'Hara up by the vesttop, then presses him overhead and prepares to toss him over the top. In a last act of desperation O'Hara rains down with right hands though. Reggie makes it to the ropes and is forced to drop O'Hara, who lands on his feet on the apron. Felix spots it and screams for Reggie to "MOVE!" as he charges, looking to finish the job... ...but O'Hara ducks the clothesline and Felix goes flying over the top! COACH NO NO NO! Felix barely hangs onto the middle rope and lands on the apron rather than the floor to the groans of the Minneapolis crowd. Leaving him behind, O'Hara vaults to the top rope with a springboard. Reggie sidesteps the springboard attack, but O'Hara lands on his feet behind and quickly lands a dropkick to the back, sending Reggie forward... ...just as Felix reaches up for the top rope to lift himself back into the ring... ...PULLING THE ROPE DOWN ACCIDENTLY ON REGGIE WHO GOES CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE A miscue! And Reggie is gone with a big assist coming at the hands of his own tag team partner! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REGGIE LAMONT LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: "It" The Alien, Mr. Boricua (co) ELIMINATED BY: Jamie O'Hara LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Both in shock at what happened, Reggie and Felix start arguing over who was at fault. Spotting his chance, O'Hara rushes Strutter on the apron, looking to knock the former Heartland Champion out... but Strutter spots him at the very last second and lands a forearm to block! COLE We are down to two in this Land Of Opportunity Battle Royal! One of these men is minutes or less from a shot at the US Title, who's it gonna be? Back inside, Strutter looks at the ropes behind him and hooks O'Hara up for a suplex, presumably over the top. O'Hara goes up, but kicks his legs to force himself back onto safe ground. Another attempt at the suplex is blocked as well. So Strutter lands some bodyshots to soften O'Hara up, then lifts again... ...and O'Hara twists to land on the apron, where Reggie Lamont breaks away from the referees, trying to grab his ankle! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Hey come on, get Lamont out of here! He's eliminated! COACH He might not be the only one in a second! O'Hara kicks Reggie off with a little help from the referees pulling him back, just in time to block Strutter's charge with a forearm of his own. Grabbing the top rope, O'Hara then launches himself back inside. He lands on Strutter's shoulders with his legs, keeping a hold of the top rope as he drops back... ...AND SNARES FELIX OVER THE TOP WITH A HEADSCISSORS, RIGHT DOWN ONTO LAMONT ON THE FLOOR FOR THE FINAL ELIMINATION!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COACH WHAT!? COLE He got him! An incredible manoeuvre out of nowhere and Jamie O'Hara has won the Battle Royal! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMIIIIEEEEEE OOOO'HAAAAARRRRAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FELIX STRUTTER LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Mr. Boricua (co), Denzel Spencer ELIMINATED BY: Jamie O'Hara LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BATTLE ROYAL WINNER: JAMIE O'HARA ELIMINATED: Mr. Warrior, Mr. Boricua (co), Reggie Lamont, Felix Strutter ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Felix and Reggie lay piled up on the outside as the crowd go wild around them. Weary but victorious, O'Hara pumps his fists in celebration... ...but he has no time to dwell on his victory, as a piano plays a melody causing the crowd to erupt. COLE And we are not waiting around! The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. "COME ON!" *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing as Colombian Heat rushes out onto the stage, getting the crowd fired up. Heat runs to both sides of the entrance stage and fires that section of the arena up. Heat raises his hands, acknowledging the fans before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen this is your one fall, United States Championship contest! One the way to the ring... originally from Bogotá, Colombia, but now residing in Miami, Florida. He weighs in at one hundred and eighty pounds... the OAOAST United States Heavyweight Champion... CCOOOOOLLLLLLLOOOOOOOMMMMMBBIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAANN... HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Making it to ringside, Heat is confronted by Strutter and Lamont who shout abuse at both he and O'Hara. Heat just brushes them off as the referees escort them to the back. Jogging up the steps, Heat enters the ring and puts his hands on his hips looking at O'Hara breathing heavily in the opposite corner. COLE No rest for the wicked. This US Championship match is going to start right now, Colombian Heat the US Champion, the fresh US Champion, to take on the winner of the battle royal, the former X-Division Champion Jamie O'Hara. Two fan favourites, two guys with a lot in common. This should be very interesting. COACH I wanna know how Heat wrangled it so he'd face a weakened opponent tonight first off. And second, you're right, they have a lot in common. They're both white trash. And one of these dirty foreigners is going to be representing the US! Disgraceful! COLE Oh boy. Heat gets rid of his entrance gear and hands the US Title to referee Charles Robinson who has stuck around to officiate this match. As the belt is held aloft for the fans, Heat gets himself warmed up. *DINGDINGDING!* On the bell Heat and O'Hara walk towards the middle of the ring. Heat checks his opponent is okay to go ahead and they shake hands. "LET'S GO JA - MIE!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO JA - MIE!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" The crowd are split in their support as the two men circle each other. They come together looking for a lock-up and come together for a second, before Heat lands a boot to the gut and sets O'Hara up early for the Colombian Necktie! O'Hara manages to flip down the back and backs to the ropes for safety, as Heat smiles and gives O'Hara a look as if to say "that was close". COLE Heat going for the end early, he knows O'Hara is fatigued after surviving the battle royal but he's still got his wits about him. Crowd support rises again as Heat and O'Hara lock up once more. This time Heat grabs a side headlock and wrenches with it. O'Hara delivers a couple of shots to the gut before sending Heat off the ropes. Back comes the US Champion with a shoulder tackle though. Down goes the challenger, Heat popping his collar before hitting the ropes again. Drop down by O'Hara, then a leapfrog, going up for a dropkick... Heat puts on the brakes, but O'Hara lands on his feet! Heat catches him with another boot though and sends O'Hara off with a whip. Drop down by Heat, leapfrog by Heat and a beautiful Standing Dropkick to knock Jamie down! COLE Colombian Heat showing O'Hara how it's done! Quick cover... 1... 2... No! Heat grabs the side headlock again but gets shoved off into a corner. Stopping himself, Heat gets his foot up on the middle turnbuckle and catches O'Hara charging, launching him into the air... but O'Hara lands safely on the middle rope behind! COACH Woah! COLE Cat-like agility! For a moment Heat seems happy enough that he dealt with his challenger, but he eventually realises something isn't right and turns around to see O'Hara moonsaulting towards him... ...and he sidesteps! Again O'Hara lands on his feet though! Irish whip attempt is reversed, O'Hara sent off the ropes. The Englishman tries to go through the legs with a baseball slide but gets cut off at first base. Heat wraps the arms around O'Hara's waist and lifts him back up to his feet, into a waistlock, looking for a German. On the way up though, O'Hara wraps the legs in a bodyscissors and tucks forward with a surprise roll-up! 1... 2... NO! COLE So close to a new Champion! Heat swings and misses with a clothesline as he gets back up, O'Hara leaping onto his shoulders with a Victory Roll... 1... 2... NO! COLE And again! The US Champion is getting more than he bargained for with Jamie O'Hara! COACH But the US Champion hasn't just wrestled a battle royal. Sooner or later the tank is gonna hit empty on O'Hara. Both men come back to their feet, O'Hara first to strike as he springs off the canvas with a Back Wheel Kick... but Heat ducks! The US Champ then catches Jamie with a right hand. Heat quickly hits another punch! And another! Heat then does the DANCE~!, before completing the Shake, Rattle and Roll! Down goes The Birmingham Bad Boy, as Heat bounces off the ropes and does the SHIMMY~!, before hitting the Shaky Leg Kneedrop! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE But Colombian Heat is firing up now! Heat looks out to the crowd and does a SHIMMY~! dance to ignite them. Watching O'Hara back up, Heat then hooks O'Hara up and drives him face-first into the canvas with the Bong Hit! COLE And that might just put pay to a gallant effort from The Birmingham Bad Boy. Saying it's over, Heat hooks the leg... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Heat looks surprised. And impressed, just a little. COLE Not just yet. O'Hara's got a lot of fight. COACH Yeah, he's been showing that fight beating thirteen other guys while Heat was sat on his ass in the back 'kissing the sky'. With O'Hara slow to his feet, Colombian Heat puts his hands to his throat, giving the signal for the Colombian Necktie again. He helps O'Hara up to a doubled-up position and locks the arms, turning him over top and preparing to lift. On the way up though, O'Hara somehow manages to escape. Not only escape, he manages to land on Heat's shoulders in an electric chair position. Before Heat knows what's happening, O'Hara then falls back, DROPPING THE US CHAMPION ON HIS HEAD!!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE REVERSE RANA! Where did that come from!? COACH I have no idea. Heat is flat out as O'Hara, still sucking wind, struggles to crawl across and turn him over. COLE This could be it, we could have a new United States Champion! Finally O'Hara is on top... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Only two! My word that was close though. "LET'S GO JA - MIE!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO JA - MIE!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" With the Minneapolis crowd routing both men on once more it's a struggle to their feet for champion and challenger. O'Hara is fatigued and Heat is still seeing stars at this point. Getting his wits about him first, O'Hara bounces off the ropes and strikes at Heat with the Busaiku Knee Kick. Heat manages to sidestep and catch Jamie in a schoolboy rollup... 1... 2... No! O'Hara is first up and goes over top of Heat looking for a sunset flip, but Heat sits down on him... 1... 2... ...reversal, into the sunset pin... 1... 2... No! COLE Trading nearfalls, both men eager to get this one over quickly for their own reasons. O'Hara to avoid fatigue, Heat sensing victory because of that fatigue. Scoop and a slam by Heat, setting O'Hara up. Off the ropes he comes, tucking and rolling with the Where's The Hood At... but O'Hara avoids the rolling thunder! The back of Heat's head bounces off the mat and he sits up. O'Hara kicks him back down though, then follows up with a Standing Moonsault, hooking the leg... 1... 2... No! Looking really drained of energy at this point, O'Hara drags himself up onto the middle turnbuckle and waits for Heat to walk his way. COLE O'Hara looking for a little OH, SNAP! COACH You are so white. I'm sorry to go 'there', but it really is true. O'Hara lies in wait for Heat as he gets back to his feet. The US Champion stumbles in search of the Brit and freezes as he spots him, tumbling off the turnbuckles... and MISSING the Blockbuster as Heat ducks his body out of the way! Crashing and burning, O'Hara limps back up and finds himself in the path of a PELE KICK! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Heat questions the referee but it was only two. COLE Heat maybe getting a little frustrated at not putting O'Hara away yet. Heat drags O'Hara back to his feet once more and scoops him up looking for a slam. Slipping out the back, O'Hara evades a back elbow and takes Heat over with a surprise Hurricanrana! COLE Man, once he gets going Jamie is so hard to catch! Heat rolls through to his feet and goes for a quick clothesline. A duck underneath by O'Hara leaving Heat off balance, allowing O'Hara to pull him down by the arms into a prawn hold... 1... 2... No! Another swing and a miss from the US Champion, into a Backslide this time... 1... 2... ...Heat kicks out and rolls right through to his feet, turning back to back with O'Hara and hooking up the arms. Quick as a flash he turns the challenger over, elevates him up... and DRIVES him down into the canvas on the back of his neck!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE COLOMBIAN NECKTIE!! OUT OF NOWHERE! COACH Talk about your lucky escapes. With a look of relief on his face, Heat flips the motionless O'Hara over and hooks up his leg... 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "Gasolina" hits again as Heat rolls over on O'Hara's chest, having his arm raised in victory. Heat makes a eyebrow raise at the nearest camera and wipes some sweat from his brow as he's passed his title. BUFFER Here is your winner... and STILL OAOAST United States Heavyweight Champion... CCOOOOLLLLOOOOMMMMBBIIIIIIIIIAAAAAANN... HHHEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATT!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE A great effort from Jamie O'Hara but it proved a bridge too far to win the US Title here at The Great Angle Bash. Colombian Heat, retaining the gold. COACH Well it's a hollow win when you beat a kid who's already survived a battle royal seconds earlier if you ask me. COLE I don't think I did. After parading the title quickly and saluting his fans, Heat extends a hand down to help Jamie O'Hara up to his feet. O'Hara holds his neck and looks exhausted but has enough in him to have his hand raised by Heat before the two embrace in a sign of respect in the centre of the ring, to the applause of the Minneapolis crowd. COLE And a great show of sportsmanship, that's great to see. And no I didn't ask you what you think that time either Coach. O'Hara leaves wearily, letting Heat celebrate his victory. Thursday night, July 21st live only on TSM Edited July 1, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted June 30, 2008 (edited) The Wall by Kansas hits, and the lights go out, followed by Thunderkid and Reject making their entrance amidst a cloud of yellow smoke. COLE And the tag team titles on the line next! COACH But we still don't know the challengers! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST World tag team championship! Making their way down the aisle, at a combined weight of 485 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance...they are the OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD...the team of THHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! TK and Reject climb into the ring in parallel corners, then TK runs to the other side and jumps on the buckles, while Reject turns and poses on the near buckles. TK and Reject then meet at mid-ring and hand their belts off to the referees. They turn and face the aisle, as Real Muthaphuckkin' G's by Eazy-E hits. COLE Who is this? Two black men walk through the curtains, flashing hand signs at the crowd, as Reject and TK stand confused in the ring. COLE Looks like we got some newcomers here at the Great Angle Bash! How about this? COACH Welcome to hell, boys. BUFFER Their opponents...from Compton, CA, at a combined weight of 412 pounds...the team of "CASH MONEY" CURTIS BLACK and 9-MILL...COMPTON PD! COLE Compton PD is the team's name, "Cash Money" Curtis Black on your left, 9-Mill on the left! We're told that these two are former HI-YAH tag team champions! Curtis Black is a high-flyer of the highest magnitude, and his partner 9-Mill is a skilled power wrestler! And they're from the streets of Compton, so they know how to fight! The newcomers circle the ring, shouting stuff out to the fans, then enter and pose on the buckles. The referee calls for the bell, and the PD does a secret handshake, then 9-Mill steps out. *DING DING DING* COLE And it's going to be "Cash Money" Curtis Black starting it off with Reject! COACH Well, I've got to give them one thing, it takes a lot of confidence in yourself to walk right into the OAOAST and challenge the World tag team champions, two guys who have been around almost since the OAOAST's inception! Reject and Black circle the ring, and tie up. Reject goes behind, but Black manages to reverse, then takes Reject down by the legs! COLE How about this? Black drops to his knees behind Reject, and paintbrushes him on the back of the head! Reject rolls to his knees by the ropes, and looks at Black, as the crowd eats it up. COACH But this is where you toe the line between confidence and cockiness! Reject gets to his feet, then moves in for another tieup, but instead delivers a kick to the gut, and hooks a side headlock. Black backs Reject into the ropes, then shoves him across. Black drops down, then leapfrogs Reject, then catches him with a hiptoss! Black follows with an armdrag, then catches Reject with a dropkick, sending him over the top rope to the floor! COLE What a sequence here by Curtis Black! Reject gets to his feet on the outside, and slaps the apron. After taking a few seconds to gather himself, he re-enters the ring, and the two tie up. Reject backs Black into a corner, and goes for a right hand, which Black ducks, and delivers right hands of his own! Black then brings Reject to his corner, and tags in 9-Mill. COLE And now 9-Mill in for the first time! 9-Mill climbs to the top rope, as Black holds Reject in a front facelock, and comes down with a double axhandle! 9-Mill then backs Reject into a corner, and fires off rights and lefts to the midsection, then attempts an Irish whip. Reject reverses, and 9-Mill hops to the second rope, then springs back, turning in mid-air and flying over Reject with a sunset flip! Reject blocks by dropping to his knees... 1... 2... but 9-Mill reverses! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject delivers a kick to the midsection, then backs him into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject then attempts a hiptoss, but 9-Mill blocks, and delivers one of his own! Reject rolls into a corner, where 9-Mill charges, but Reject gets his foot up! COLE And 9-Mill going to the well one to many times! Reject tags in TK, who delivers right hands to 9-Mill, then attempts to whip him across. 9-Mill reverses, pulling him right into a knee to the midsection, then rolls him up in a reverse sunset... 1... 2... Kickout! 9-Mill catches TK with a knee to the gut, then attempts a suplex. TK blocks, then goes for one of his own, but 9-Mill slips behind the back, then backs into the ropes and catches TK with a spinning wheel kick! COLE And a nice kick there by 9-Mill! 1... 2... Kickout! 9-Mill grabs a side headlock, and TK backs him into the ropes. He shoves him across, then drops down, as Reject plants a knee into the lower back! COLE And there's Reject with a cheap shot from the outside! TK tags Reject back in, and the two stomp away on 9-Mill until TK exits at the referee's four-count. Reject stomps him some more, then sets him up in the corner, and makes his way over to Black and taunts him, drawing him into the ring. COACH Reject showing the edge in experience right here, Black is just getting his partner in trouble right now! TK applies a front facelock to 9-Mill as he is draped over the ropes, breaking just before the referee turns around. Reject picks up 9-Mill, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Reject attempts a whip across, but 9-Mill reverses. Reject hops to the middle rope, and flies back with a bodypress...but 9-Mill rolls through! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject goes to the eyes, then executes a gutwrench suplex! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject executes a backbreaker, then tags in TK. The two whip 9-Mill into the ropes, and floor him with a double clothesline! They then each grab a leg, and make a wish! COLE And some nice teamwork by the World tag team champions! The referee puts Reject out, while TK stomps away, then picks him up and whips him into the ropes. TK puts his head down, and 9-Mill catches him with a sunset flip! 1... 2... Kickout! TK catches 9-Mill with a clothesline, then poses for the crowd, drawing boos. TK then picks 9-Mill up in a PRESS SLAM~!, tossing him down to the mat, then tags Reject again, and picks 9-Mill up in a hangman's hold. COACH Well, it was a nice effort in the beginning, but it looks like the champs are gonna end this thing! Reject delivers a kick to the midsection, then poses for the crowd, drawing boos. Reject then scoops up 9-Mill and slams him, heading to the top. COACH This is it right here, Cole! Reject comes off for a SOMERSAULT SPLASH~!, but 9-Mill moves out of the way! COLE No, 9-Mill got out of there! 9-Mill crawls slowly over to his corner, and makes a tag to Black! COLE There's the tag! Black comes in a HOUSE AFIRE~! and whips Reject across, catching him with a big dropkick! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Black sets Reject up, and executes a SITOUT POWERBOMB~! 1... 2... NO! Reject kicks out again! Black tags 9-Mill back in, and whips Reject into the ropes, as the two catch Reject with a double backdrop! Black dropkicks TK off the apron, as 9-Mill covers... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Black floors TK with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! as 9-Mill executes a Northern Lights suplex in the ring... 1... 2... Kickout! Black runs around to his corner, where 9-Mill meets him with a tag. 9-Mill runs to the ropes, while Black hops into the ring, and sweeps the legs as 9-Mill hits him with a lariat! 9-Mill covers... 1... 2... ... NO!!! TK breaks up the count! COLE WOW! That may have been it! Black hammers away on TK, while 9-Mill stands in mid-ring. Black whips TK into 9-Mill, who catches him with a Boss Man slam! Black then lays on the mat, as 9-Mill sets him up to slingshot him on top of TK. COLE Watch this double-team move! Reject rolls TK out of the way, then gets in a 3-point stance as 9-Mill executes the slingshot, unwittingly shooting his partner right into a EULOGY~!!!!!11111 from Reject! COACH Yeah, what a move, Cole! I love it! COLE The Eulogy from Reject, and that should do it! Reject floors 9-Mill with a spinkick as TK covers Black... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER The winners of the match...and STILL OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD...the team of THHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! COLE What a match, as TK and Reject escape with their titles intact! TK and Reject grab their belts, and celebrate on the outside, as 9-Mill crawls over to his defeated partner. COLE And what an effort by those two, in their OAOAST debut, pushing the champs to the limit! The champs may have escaped tonight, but the tag team division better remember the name Compton PD! Right now, let's go to... Edited July 1, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 (edited) COLE ...our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan. We cut to the OAOAST Original next to a pacing Baron Windels in his locker room. BRANNIGAN Baron Windels, judging by the look in your eye I can tell you're fired up and ready to go. BARON It's called the Eye of the Tiger, Tony. Ever since Jock threw me through a stained glass window on the set of Abullah Nerdly's House of Worship, I've been counting down the days, the hours, the minutes and seconds until I'd finally be able to get my hands on that dick and slap him around. But the rage has turned into compassion. I know Jock isn't all well right now. He needs help and who better to do so than the man who knows him best? I vowed to beat some sense into him tonight, and I'm gonna do just that. Sometimes we all need a little tough love. BW exits as we return to the ring. My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14 "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mr. Dick hears it from the crowd as he and Malaysia make that long walk down the ramp to the ring. COLE Here we go with one of our feature bouts this evening. The duel between former partners, “Mr. Dick” Jock Mulligan squaring off against Baron Windels. BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following contest is a Texas sized GRUDGE match. Coming down the aisle, accompanied by the ultimate combination in beauty and beatdowns, OAOAST Women’s Champion MALAYSIA! From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 238 pounds, here is… BARON WINDELS with a preemptive strike, BASHING A STEEL CHAIR ACROSS JOCK’S BACK! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That knocked the glitter out of Mr. Dick’s cowboy hat. COACH And Baron Windels is supposed to be the good guy in all of this? He did a Pearl Harbor job. COLE It’s no different than what Mr. Dick did to Baron months ago, or this past Thursday for that matter. COACH I’d say there’s a big difference. One was premeditated, the other was a spur of the moment thing. I’ll let you guess which is which. The chair-swinging Gunslinger keeps Malaysia at bay, but with his attention focused on her it allows Mr. Dick to reach in and grab the chair, slamming it straight back into Baron’s face as he delivers a Russian leg sweep on the ramp! COLE Oh, my. A double whammy for Baron Windels. He could’ve easily broken his nose or suffered a scratch. Luckily for Baron, he’s only knocked woozy. Still not the situation he wants to be in going against a formidable opponent like Mr. Dick, who dumps him inside and then is RUBBED IN BABY OIL by Malaysia. The OAOAST Women’s Champion stuffing the pocket sized bottle down her crotch once finished. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Glistering under the hot ring lights, Mr. Dick takes to the air…ONLY TO BE SLAMMED OFF THE TOP! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" BW goes to town on Mr. Dick with a series of haymakers and Cowboy Bebop (bionic) elbows. Then he damn near decapitates the cock of the walk with the MYSPACE COMEBACK! ONE… No, the referee thought Baron was going for the cover when in actuality he just went to mount on top of his former tag team partner to dish out more punishment. The Lone Star Gunslinger driving his fist into the forehead of Mr. Dick. COACH This guy’s become sadistic, Cole. COLE Baron Windels promised he’d beat some sense into Mr. Dick here at the Great Angle Bash and he’s living up to his word, just as he’s always has. Baron points to the turnbuckle and the crowd cheers, but Mr. Dick has other ideas in mind, namely throwing an elbow and ramming BW into the buckle instead. He whips the Lone Star Gunslinger to the far corner and charges in, SPLASHING… NO, BARON CATCHES JOCK, SPINS AND FLIPS HIM OVERHEAD, a/k/a THE DEVIL’S ADDICTION! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! COACH Nice to see Baron go for the win rather than try to kill a man. Helping Mr. Dick back up to his feet turns out to be a mistake by Baron, who experiences quite a COCK SHOCK. Then, JUST BEING A DICK, Jock delivers a head BUTT to the groin! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Proud of his actions Mr. Dick struts around, then drops a big knee right into the heart of the Lone Star Gunslinger. The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT…WITH AUTHORITY! COLE Baron Windels sending a message to Mr. Dick -- it’s gonna take more than that to beat me. COACH Yeah, a couple more minutes. Mr. Dick taps his right leg to signal for the STIFF KICK…BUT BARON DUCKS AND SPIKES HIS FORMER PARTNER WITH A LEAPING DDT! COLE The Lone Star Gunslinger just served up a Brigham Young Cocktail. That’ll do it for sure. And Malaysia knows it too, hopping on the apron, and BW tells her to BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH That’s horrible. First Baron steals the move Mr. Dick made famous, then he strikes a woman? We all know no man should ever put his hands on any woman unless her name is Melody or Maggie Nerdly. COLE Now the cover. ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO, KICKOUT! Baron can’t believe it and neither do the fans. All BW can do is go on about his business, and he does just that, setting Mr. Dick on the top for a superplex. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH We’ve got company, Cole. Indeed we do. CPA and TANGO BOSLEY to be specific. They check on Malaysia before targeting Baron with verbal insults. Needless to say, Baron is none too pleased and flips both men off! BOSLEY Bosley looks to take his anger out on BW, lunging at him, but referee Nick Patrick cuts him off. So CPA channels New York Mets manager Jerry Manuel and gets in the official’s face to stick up for Bosley. But it’s all a clever ruse to buy Malaysia the time she needs to SPRAY BARON IN THE EYES WITH BABY OIL! COLE Mr. Dick keeps Baron from crashing back down and delivers a SUPER COCK BLOCK~!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ONE… TWO… THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner… MR. DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What a miscarriage of justice. COACH You know what they say, Mikey -- payback’s a bitch. Baron dared to lay his hand on a woman and got what he deserved. Mr. Dick, Malaysia, CPA and Bosley all join in on a 4 on 1 beat down of Baron Windels. CPA knocking the shit out of BW with a GIGATON PUNCH, and then a whipping courtesy of Malaysia’s cat o’nine tails. "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd explodes as the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS clear the ring of Mr. Dick and company. COLE Thank goodness for MARV and MEL. I'm not sure how much more Baron could take. COACH I'm sure plenty more. The guy's a human punching bag for Mr. Dick. Now that I think about it, it makes sense he's best buds with the CAE. He's a punching bag and they're crash test dummies! I smell a new Pixar film! COLE Well I smell our next pay-per-view extravaganza. We'll hear more about that a little later on, but first, here's what's new at OAOASTShop-dot-com! NEW AT OAOASTSHOP! Leon Rodez, Silky Smooth Apparrel Be Silky. Be Smooth. Be Whatever. Just Give Us Yo' Damn Money! Backstage at the Great Angle Bash backdrop, Maggie Nerdly is stood by waiting with the members of Cucaracha Internacional... well, four of them anyway. MAGGIE I'm backstage with the four team-mates of James Cone on Team Phoenix, later on in War Games. Landon Maddix and Cucaracha Internacional... it's fair to say you were thrown a real curveball three nights ago. LANDON You could say that, yes. Of course, I don't care much for baseball and would rather make a football analogy. Real football that is, not the American kind. Simply put... Spain 1, Germany 0. MAGGIE That... wasn't really an analogy. It was just a statement. LANDON Well whatever. European Champions. Viva. Anyway! As far as War Games goes, I guess you could say the equation has changed now. They managed to fill out a team to match up against Cucaracha Internacional and James Phoenix Cone. More fool them. More fool your boyfriend Leon Rodez in particular. See, we warned him about what might happen. And he still chose to back his BFF Zack up in his time of need. It'd be honourable if it wasn't so pathetic. Maybe he's not so disloyal after all. Well, he's getting himself into the same situation as Zack and Bohemoth and Sly Sommers. In our way. And we don't like people that are in our way when we're trying to achieve success. Faqu pounds his chest and yells something in Samoan, unnerving Maggie a little. MAGGIE Yes... but, uh... I think the more pressing thing to talk about is, what about Todd Cortez? LANDON What about him? MAGGIE Well, you must have been pretty surprised at what happened, when he disobeyed you and joined up with Team Sommers, right? LANDON I guess by now I shouldn't be surprised by him. Infact... maybe I wasn't. Landon smiles, causing confusion for Maggie and a few seconds of awkward silence. MAGGIE What is that supposed to mean, sorry? LANDON Whatever you want it to mean. I mean, come on, you do the math. Cortez isn't good enough to make our team, so technically there's nothing to stop him joining Team Sly Sommers. Now, instead of four members of Cucaracha Internacional in War Games... there's five. Now, who knows what that could mean, right? All I'd say to the other members of Team Sly Sommers is, I wouldn't trust Todd Cortez as far as I could throw him. Would you? Tell you what, your boyfriend knows all about Cortez and War Games, how about you go ask him and let him spread the word to his team-mates, huh? Chuckling to himself, Landon walks off and the rest of Cucaracha Internacional follow. COACH Haha. Intrigue on top of intrigue! COLE Do you really think this is all part of some sort of plan? Because if it is, Landon's a better actor than I gave him credit for, that look of fear on his face when Cortez thought about Riot Act Plus'ing him on Thursday was Oscar worthy! COACH That move is banned in the OAOAST. COLE What does that have to do with my question? COACH You smell funny. COLE Nevermind. Edited July 1, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 (edited) vs. We can dance if we want to We can leave your friend behind 'Cause your friends don't dance And if they don't dance They're no friends of mine!” The Target Center may not own any desires to dance, but Vinny Valentine has every inclination to put some “motion into the ocean”. He bursts through the entrance doors, coming between the frantic journeys of intense purple, gold, and teal spotlights, and running into a wall of thick green fog. Inside that colorful prison he begins busting out classic disco moves, that already have the crowd openly groaning. Vinny is far to enamored with his questionable dancing ability to notice their disdain, and his snake skin boots continue grooving along the floor , while legs, covered in brown and black snake skin bell bottoms, make strange awkward kicking motions. These uncontrolled movements greatly worry his nearby partner, Biff Atlas, who already is fretting over a potential fire from the build up of smoke. Rico De Janiero, clad in Brazilian flag tights, tries to calm Biff down with the gift of mardi gras beads around the collar of his safety vest. Sadly, Biff takes the gift all to literally and rips open his vest to show his boobs. Lucius Soul,in plain beige pants that offset wild zebra print shoes, drives a sparkling blue 'fro prick through his hair as he laughs in tandem to the horrible music. Vinny quickly gathers his charges and escorts them down the ramp with the battle cry of “LET'S KEEPIN ON TRUCKIN, BABY!” BUFFER The following three on four differently abled contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes. Now making, their way to the ring, first from Venice Beach he is BIFF ATLAS! And from New Orleans, Louisiana, LUCIUS “SWEET” SOUL! From Rio De Janerio, he is RICO DE JANEIRO. And their so fly, so fresh, so cool, leader, coming out of Brooklyn, New York, the disco duck, VINNY VALENTINE! Vinny greets the announcement of his name by performing a ridiculous twirl that nearly pokes Biff's eye out. Good thing he's wearing safety goggles! The audience is less forgiving of Vinny's personality faults and continue to boo him without mercy. COLE Vinny Valentine the brains behind all this. He of all people decided to be the one to stand up to Krista's bullying, and he's recruited long-time enemies of Krista, The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as well as pressganged Biff Atlas into service. COACH Pressganged? Biff is all about making a difference in the world! Krista, and Alix, have been about shamming dudes for years. Every time a man gets a little respect around her, there comes Krista to drop 50 pounds of ether on em and son their career into oblivion. A work environment with that type of chick is unsafe, its hazardous to your career! If Biff is the safety guru he says he is, then he's gotta be about cleaning this mess up! And props to my boy Vinny Valentine, that wardrobe be mad suspect, but its bout time someone made moves to set this chick straight. Biff's reservations are more palatable and pressing then before. With fear exhausting his face into a colorless mask he pleads with his partners to spare him his imminent demise. His cries are heard by unsympathetic ears, and the cruel mouth of Rico De Janiero who orders him into the ring. On the center of the canvas, Valentine is already flexing his scrawny muscles to a disapproving crowd who drown out his triumphant shouts with boos. Soul stands atop the turnbuckles, styling his flawless fro, and ignoring the repeated misgivings of Atlas. COLE The Mardi Gras Homewrecking has fallen on times as of...the last year...but there was a brief moment in history where they were fast rising stars in the OAOAST. They even beat D*LUX for the HI-YAH tag titles, and speaking of Tyler and Shayne, Biff and Vinny hold two victories over them. It'll be curious to see how the kids from Detroit approach this match. COACH They'll approach it from wherever they have the best look up Krista's skirt. Gimmie somethin to believe in, because I don't believe in you, anymore! The hits of yesteryear keep on coming! The camera pans across an arena that exploding with a large ovation. We see the targets of this love, darting onto stage, framed by swirling and dominating blue and purple lights. Tyler and Shayne, clad in their usual denim outfits, bounce across the stage, whipping the teenage demographic into a frenzy with chest beatings, peace signs, and carefully timed flashes off their washboard abs. Standing in the center of this Tiger Beat worthy frenzy is Jade Rodez, calm and collected in her pink tracksuit. When her boys settle down somewhat, she points them towards the ring, where the heel crack their knuckles in anitipcation of a furious fight. COLE Biff, with all his worrying, and just general insanity and anger at D*LUX, forgets a very key point, that this all began when Vinny Valentine smashed a disco ball on D*LUX's head on Syndicated. If that had never happened, this match wouldn't be taking place, and he'd be off somewhere inspecting the arena's plumbing in peace and anonymity. And, now Biff has even more to be worried about, and the fans have even more to be excited about with Alix Maria Spezia making her return to the OAOAST! I wonder how well that's going to go over with Mackenzie. BUFFER And, the opponents! First, being accompanied by Jade Rodez, they weigh total combined weight, three hundred eighty two pounds... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER, "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... they are two thirds of the former six man tag team champions... D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! On their way to the ring, D*LUX uses salutes and high fives to fire up a front row audience that overflowing with excitement to be within inches of the teen idols. Jade walks just a bit ahead of them, and takes a seat at the announce table to the surprise of Double C. COLE Jade? Didn't expect to have you out here tonight. Welcome. JADE Mom, told me to sit here, actually. She said it might help my public speaking. Plus, she wants somebody to spray pepper spray on Coach if he makes a lesbian joke. When the red light comes on I TRANSFORM. Look in my eyes covered in Maybeline Looking like something fresh out of a magazine I can be part of your deepest fantasies You’re the detective Come solve my mystery The futuristic humming of Danity Kane's Bad Girls, ushers in a BOOOOOOMING reception from the sold out crowd, as a waterfall of pink pyro dives in front of the jumbo video screen. Its sparks are splashed along the stage, when its tagged by a fresh geyser of red pyro . That serene pairing is then overpowered by the dominant thunder that comes from the golden pyro wall that takes over the entry way. COACH My ears! Coach's ears may be in critical condition, but his eyes are sent to heaven by the splendid image of Krista Isadora Duncan standing between the swirling of pyro haze. A white deep plunging criss crossing teddy, can scarcely hold her mind boggling breasts, as it falls into a mini skirt that's kept open sided to let the gazes of viewers feast on her award winning legs. COACH Hot dayum. Hey-uh, Jade, daughters kind of like to wear the same clothes as their mom. Yo, I'm just sayin that maybe you oughta lose that track suit and get in a lil somethin somethin... JADE Pepper spray. Whipping up a storm of faux fur, Alix happily skips across the entrance ramp, soaking in the enormous amount of welcome back cheers from a Target Center that's entirely on its feet. The roving pink and red spotlights hit her rocking body, highlighting destroyed denim cargo pants, and a pink and white stripped A&F polo top. Out of sheer luck alone, Krista is able latch onto her hyperactive partner, and still her into the most tender and loving embrace the OAOAST audience has ever seen. Giggling with unrestrained happiness, Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. BUFFER And their partner from Los Angeles, California, being accompanied by the returning Alix Maira Spezia...(Buffer's voice is drowned out by massive roar from the audience) she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, a member of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are four time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! COLE Here comes Krista Isadora Duncan with returning girlfriend Alix Maria Spezia! And, folks, as we know Krista, a four time tag team champion, will meet up with current champion ThunderKid in the opening round of the Money In The Bank tournament! There's no easy draw in this thing! Hand in hand, the girls merrily skip down a ramp that's surrounded by a bevy of photo journalist. They make certain to point out a row of fans holding up a twenty foot banner that reads “WELCOME BACK ALIX” in huge sparkling red letters. Once they reach the ring, Alix runs her fingers gently up and down Krista's arms, before slowly massaging her back until she reached the slender shapes of her hips. She boosts Krista's onto the ring apron, then coolly reclines against it, soaking in the love of the crowd. Krista uses her prize winning legs to caress the excitable brunette's tingling body. While Ally loses her self in her pleasuring touch, Krista shoots a middle finger towards the battery of cameras that flash away. After that Krista rolls into the ring, where's she's greeted enthusiastically by D*LUX who attempt to “delight” her with their new power ballad “You put my heart in a sleeper hold”. Free of questionable love songs, Alix gingerly situates herself next to Jade at the announce. ALIX Hey, J-Ro. Or is it J-Du. Or J-RoDuDu, sounding like poo-poo. Or Barbra Walters. Anyway, hi-ya! Oh, woah, coach and cole, Ally Cat, bought presents! COACH It's a Gucci watch! ALIX It's a knock-off, babe. My uncle works for the LAPD, shocking I know, and he swiped it out the evidence locker. But don't, like, touch the inside or whatever. 'Cause he's still gotta dust it for prints and scrape it for a blood match. Enjoys, boys! COLE Alix, its great to have you back. ALIX And, I'm sooooo stoked to be back! Rehab really taught me a lot of things about myself and life! I'm all about hugs, not drugs. I feel so bad for what I did to everybody, I said some really mean things to people and that sucked and I worried alot of people that cared about me. I wanna totally apologize to anyone I hurt or offended or upset. I'm really sorry and thank you so much for your support. And just to clear the air, and stuff, I'm definitely done wrestling, I'm just gonna focus on my CD. If Katy Perry can make a crappy song about being a fake lez, I can make a crappy song about bein a real one, and be bigger than Ozzy! But, when I tried to bite the head off a bat, it bit my tongue and gave me rabies. Its with prideful authority that Rico announces that he'll start for his team. His decision is met with hearty applause and cheers from his comrades which etches a confident smirk across his face. Shayne gets the nod for his squad, due to solely to the fact that Krista covers Tyler's mouth before he can argue Shayne's starting. COLE I think Rico may have put ear plugs on to prevent the “Song trick” he falls for every single match. ALIX Awww! No sing-song from Rico! That's sucky, 'cause I really needed a reason to want to crave my ear drums out! DING DING DING With impeccable timing, Rico smashes his green and yellow boot into Shayne's thin midsection. Doubled over by the strike, Showtime is unable to prevent his foe from trapping him inside a side headlock. Instantly Rico begins torquing on his foe's neck, which draws out chants of support from the teenage girls in attendance. Hearing the chants past his ear plugs, the burly Brazilian orders the screaming teens to be silent, unless they wish to incur a forced mustache ride. Apparently the threat of sexual assault is meaningless to them, and they increase the noise and power behind their song. Showtime seems able to use Rico's distraction to begin wiggling his way free of Rico's hairy arms. But De Janeiro stuns him by sweeping his leg out from under him and dropping him to the canvas! Though Showtime hits face first, he's able to quickly step to his knees. This isn't useful by any means, as Rico uses his brute strength to just shove him onto his back. Just as Shayne is adjusting himself to his positon, Rico latches onto his arm for an armlock. Even with his limb being slowly pulled from his socket, Brave has little trouble in kipping up. This provides Rico with a world of frustration and annoyance, but gives the teenage girls another reason to scream for their adored crush. “WE LOVE SHOWTIME! WE LOVE SHOWTIME!" COLE With that much speed, Shayne is a lot like a cat. ALIX Yeah, but, you can't, like, train Shayne to poop in a box. You can try, you can intimidate him with non lethal weapons technology, but that litter box you got him for Kwanza, just isn't gonna get much use! Though on his feet, Shayne is still at the mercy of the former HI-YAH tag champion, who hurls him back to the canvas with an arm drag. “HA-HA-HA! Looking good, R.D.J, loooookin go-go-go-oooood!” Vinny celebrates, going as far as giving himself a high five. Shayne is back to his feet with surprising quickness, but again its Rico with the upper hand, driving a second knee into Brave's stomach. With his foe weakened, the South American Lothario grabs onto his wrist and throws him to the ropes. Shayne counters the whip effort by leaping onto the bottom rope, and latching onto the top one to prepare a spring board assault. Unfortunately he just so happens to be in front of Krista. And (un)fortunately his mind deviates from Rico and becomes a slave to the jumbo sized pair of breasts in front of him. Having dealt with this plenty of times before, Krista rids the ropes and her breasts of her salivating fanboy by giving him a nice hard shove. Her timing is perfect as Shayne's elbow connects right with an oncoming Rico's jaw. De Janiero is thrown to the canvas by the stinging bard where he cries out in rage and pain. Brave shows his plight zero sympathy when he strikes his downed opponent with a running knee drop! “YEAAAAAAA!” shout the audience, as Shayne parades around the ring with his arms raised in celebration. Rico springs back upright and comes at Brave with arms raised into a polish hammer! But Showtime drops to his knees, laces his leg around Rico's ankle and brings him to the ground with a drop toe hold. Rico moves with great haste to get to his feet, but Brave counters any movement with an Oklahoma Roll! ONE! TWO! But, Rico kicks out of the pin! Back on his feet he captures Shayne with an arm wringer, snapping down on the limb with such force one would think Showtime's shoulder might be separated. Nevertheless, Shayne rolls through, and kips to take Rico into an arm wringer of his own. De Janiero can't even entertain the thought of rolling through this hold, before Shayne is flipping him towards the canvas with an arm drag. Though he lands with a booming thud, he still manages to scurry to his feet with surprising haste. This proves to be no advantage to him; Shayne catches his boots around his neck and torpedoes him to the canvas with a spinning head scissors. While Rico struggles to regain his equilibrium and his footing, Brave bounds to the ropes. In a bit of good fortune he returns to the Brazilian right as he stands, and he swings to his side to overtake him with a pinfall! ONE! TWO! Rico shoots his shoulder off the canvas, and the fans pepper him with boos in response. ALIX Jade, I'm like so incredibly pissed off, its just crazy. I couldn't bring your mom to orgasm last night. JADE Uh....um...shouldn't that be between you and mom? ALIX Its one of those it takes a village, type of things. Your mom is the wizened elder of our tribe, and her sexual gratification and making sure she achieves orgasm is, like, the duty of every member of the tribe. COACH I'd like an application form for tribal membership, please. Brave applies the tag to Bryant, earning a large ovation from the sold out Target Center. The teenyboppin tag team aims to give the fans even more to cheer about as they raise Rico off the canvas. Still dazed by the dizzying pinfall, he fails to defend against an Irish whip that launches him into the ropes. However, upon his return he recovers enough of his strength to flash a lariat aimed at Brave. But Shayne ducks bellow the oncoming strike. Rico is unable to hit the breaks before he finds himself trapped inside Bryant's embrace. With a miraculous bit of strength, Bryant hoists him into his arms then slams him down onto his knee with an inverted atomic drop. With his testicles rocketing their way through his chest, De Janiero lets out and ear piercing shriek of raw misery. ALIX I guess I should kinda feel bad for Rico but it doesn't really matter or anything because he couldn't get lucky if he was a chocolate covered millionaire carrying a bag full of new shoes. As Tyler holds a whimpering Rico in place, Brave charges to the ropes. As he nears the wounded Brazilian, Bryant lets Rico go free and darts towards the cables himself. Though free of his foe's grip, there's very little Rico can do in the split second between Tyler letting him go free, and Shayne driving his boots into his thick calf muscles. De Janiero tumbles to the canvas like a chopped tree, and hollers as if that very tree just fell onto him. His pain becomes even greater when Bryant returns to impale his tennis shoes through his face! “That one was dedicated to you, Krista!” Tyler informs her. “No fair! I wanted my move to be dedicated to her!” Shayne whines, apparently not noticing the indifference on her face. “You snooze you lose, dude!” Shayne teases Tyler. COACH Man oh man, Jade, both Shayne and Tyler are dedicating moves to your mother, but no one is dedicating any to you. Isn't that terrible? JADE I...I... ALIX Ooooh oooh ooooh! Coach, dude, something really terrible happened the day you were born! COACH What? ALIX You lived! Now, hush it! In effort to one up his partner in Krista's eyes, Shayne subverts any attempts to argue and makes a mad dash towards Biff! Needless to say, panic sends the cowardly lion on frantic escape effort. Shayne seeks to defeat his escape effort this by leaping onto the second rope. As Biff's haphazard retreat brings him closer to the posts, Showtime throws himself off with a dropkick that catches Atlas right in the face! Biff is thrown from the apron, and his shouts of anguish rise in tandem with the cheers of the crowd. Elsewhere Rico is back on his feet and rumbling towards Brave. But Bryant joins his best friend in dislocating Rico's jaw with the Hit Me Baby One More Time double superkick! Together they turn to Krista for approval, who sets their hearts a flutter....by sneezing. You take what you can get when you have a crush on a lesbian, that's what I always say. ALIX Sooooooo MC, what's cool with you? COLE Well, I found a new place. It is a beautiful brownstone in Harlem... and I think I'm gonna buy it! ALIX Oh my God! COLE Yeah, it's perfect. It's even got one of those ironing boards that fold down from the wall. ALIX Oooooh awesome...A gay white man ironing in his Harlem brownstone. Like, I can't wait for, like, the neighbors to drop by. You know, to beat the piss out of you! Brave has cleared himself out the ring to allow Tyler to make a pin on Rico... ONE! TWO! But, Lucius breaks up the pinfall with a swipe of his zebra print boot. This does not sit well with the sold audience who loudly jeer his interference. “SAY SOME SHIT TO ME!” Soul hollers. “SHAVE YOUR FRO! SHAVE YOUR FRO!” “SAY SOME MORE SHIT TO ME!” “Lucius Soul,” Krista begins, “You're the handsomest man on your team. That's not saying much. Rico De Janiero, Vinny Valentine, Biff Atlas, it looks like the latest entry to Uglypeople.com's hall of shame. You may be an awful failure in life, but at least you're not Rico. What a miserable slob! The last time he was on screen FEMA sent the OAOAST a check for two million dollars, and fifty packages of emergency rations.” COACH Jade, what do you think of Lucius Soul? JADE Me? Oh, I uh...I guess, he's kind of annoying. But..I uh...I... ALIX Yeah, Coach, like, Jade was just telling me how dudes like you and Rico are, like, the total symbol of what the OAOAST is all about. Yeah, taking B level talent and making D level shows. Good one, J.R.! Head ringing from Soul's cheap shot, Bryant isn't able to stand himself up as quickly as Rico. Thus when he rises, he's caught with a pair of thudding elbow strikes that leave him dazed on his feet. De Janeiro figures that the third time is a charm and whirls around to level his rival with a discus elbow smash. But Bryant greets his rotation with a basement dropkick to his knees! As Rico sinks to the canvas, hollering shrill songs of agony, Biff shakes his head at the numerous knee injuries his ally may now be susceptible to. Fortunately for Rico, Tyler doesn't attempt any more moves that target the knee and instead tightens his foe into a front facelock. His idea is to hit a DDT, but the thought is much easier than the execution and Rico's raw power gives him the ability to burst free of Tyler's bonds. He then punishes Tyler for the hell he's been put through all match, by leveling him with a simple forearm to the back. Though basic, the strike was delivered with enough force to leave Tyler winded and on the ground gasping for air. Satisfied Rico spits on Bryant, before making his way to his corner to apply the tag with Vinny Valentine. “DISCO IS DEAD! DISCO IS DEAD!” Vinny enters the ring smiling a bold victorious smile as his eyes fall on the prone body of Bryant. Grabbing the heartthrob by his stringy blond hair, Valentine leads him to his feet. Bryant is still short of breath from Rico's forearm, and his breathing becomes even more labored when Vinny peppers him with two quick jabs to the stomach. Tyler is out on his feet, and soon he's off his feet, as The Disco Duck clamps down on his baggy denim pants and hoists him over both shoulders. “Gimme that night fever, night fever! We know how to show it!” Vinny screams towards Krista, to little reaction from her or the fans, as neither are aware he even has a finisher named Night Fever! COACH Jade, kiddo, you obviously ain't got no idea what Tyler should be doing in this situation, otherwise you'd be sayin it. You wanna know what Da Coach would do? ALIX Fart a little and then deny it? Vinny twirls Tyler around in an effort to irritate the crowd before he finishes their favorite boybander off with his version of the Alabama Slam. Yet his whirling dervish routine also irritates Biff Atlas, who reminds him off the pitfalls of nausea and indigestion that comes from such spinning. For whatever reason, Vinny actually pauses to listen to Biff. And that moment of indecision is all Bryant needs to shimmy down Vinny's slender back, and attempt to trap him into a pinfall. Attempt being the key word here, Vinny adamantly refuses to be brought down no matter how mightily Tyler struggles. Eventually, Vinny grows tired of having a teenage boy try to pull down his pants, and rips himself away from Bryant. He keeps the six man champion grounded by driving an elbow onto his throat. So arrogant, Vinny believes this is enough to pin Tyler and hooks his leg for a fall.. ONE! TWO! KRISTA Vinny Valentine, if you don't break up that pin right this instant, I'll tell everyone about your gay lover on the roster! As if he didn't have enough of reason to despise Krista, Valentine is forced to end his fall. SHAYNE How did you know he was gay? KRISTA Ten percent of the population is, and I figure of the percent of the population that dress like they were conceived in the drag corner of Elton John's closet one hundred percent has to be bi or gay or curious. Random and baseless blackmail is my way of participating in this match. Wanting to have Tyler expend his own energy, Vinny allows him to stand up on his own power. When he finally rises, Vinny wraps his arm around his neck in a side headlock that's as tight as the jaws of death. Raising his finger into the air in preemptive triumph Vinny carries his rival across the ring for a bulldog. However, Bryant evades the classic hold, by placing his hands onto Vinny's waist and shoving him towards the turnbuckles. To the audience's immense pleasure Vinny crashes stomach first into the ringposts and groans in frustrating pain. There's little time to feel sorry for himself, though, thanks to Bryant fast approaching with a body splash. The Disco Duck counters by grabbing onto Ty's right leg, and then flinging him into the air. Unable to defend himself in time, the teenybopper smashes his cute face into the top turnbuckle. While the girls in attendance recoil in horror, Biff solemnly shakes his head and makes a mental note to petition for better ring post padding. Meanwhile Bryant staggers away from the ropes, clutching his face and fretting over the status of his upcoming TeenDisney photoshoot. This precludes him from noticing that Vinny Valentine is currently bouncing off the ropes with malice on his mind. By the time he is aware of Vinny's intent, his face is already being smeared across the canvas courtesy of Valentine's face crusher. Dazed and wounded, Tyler rolls onto his back where he breathes heavy cries of distress. "LET'S GO TYLER! LET'S GO TYLER! LET'S GO TYLER ALIX Hey, like, what's up with this Biff Atlas, dude? What's he bitchin' about with all this safety stuff, or whatever? He wants to see a real accident, I got an uncle who lost a forehead in a towing accident. He's gotta wear a special hat to keep his brains in! Its awesome!! Vinny darts towards the ropes, but instead of running back to Tyler as any normal human being might do, he moonwalks towards his rival. Whatever this unusual variation of the tried and true “funny looking elbow drop” formula was supposed to yield we'll never know, because Tyler stuns Vinny with a school boy! Charles Robinson drops to his knees to score the fall... ONE! TWO! Vinny furiously forces his way out of the pinfall. And when the two competitors rise, he's even more furious in rocking Bryant's jaw with a back fist. The blow seems to have enough power to floor the teen idol, but Valentine keeps him aloft with a front facelock. He brings Tyler into the skies, then punishes him by dropping him onto his oft-targeted face. The young ladies in the audience aren't even the least bit pleased to see their crush mistreated so, and vehemently boo Valentine. The Disco Duck mocks their outrage by crying heavy crocodile tears, as he walks to his corner. There he applies the tag to Lucius Soul with instructions of “bring home the bacon, daddy, bring home the bacon!” COACH Yo, girls and tranny, Lucius Soul is a bad negro! Hear this beat, bitches! I read on the internets that my man LS was a silver medalist in the 2004 IKF Kung Fu championships with only a year of training. ALX Oh my god! If it's on the Internet, it must, must, must be true! Sincerely, The Nigerian Dictator who wants your bank account number to transfer a family fortune he can't smuggle out of his country. Eyes burning bright with hatred and spite, Tyler attacks Soul with crazed haymakers that bomb across the Louisiana native's scruffy face. However, Soul returns fire with expertly placed kicks that seem to still Bryant. That is until the cute grappler pops his fans by battering Soul with a series of knife edge of chops. But before Ty can shred away Lucius' chocolate colored skin, his chopping is interrupted by a running knee to the back from Valentine! “BOOOOOOO!” “Put a sock in it!” Vinny shouts, which actually causes Biff to remind the front row audience of the hygienic hazards that come with putting a worn sock into your mouth. While Biff bores everyone into a coma, Vinny attaches Tyler into another front facelock, and then lifts him onto Soul's scrawny shoulders. Together they shift Tyler's legs into Lucius' arms as they guide him to the ropes. COACH Yo, Jade, hook your boys up with some strategy! Valentine and Soul drop Tyler throat first onto the top cable, a move that leaves the boybander gasping for air. Any breath that was coming to him is immediately knocked aside when Soul plows him through the mat with a powerful sitout face crusher. Delivered with such devastation, the hold actually flips Bryant over and bounces his back across the canvas. He cries out in agony that's worsened when his vulnerable position is exploited by double leg drops from his annoying foes. JADE Oh no! “LET'S GO TYLER! LET'S GO TYLER! LET'S GO TYLER!” COACH Hot damn, Vinny's plan is gonna pay off! ALIX Yeah right! Not only did you lose your hair prematurely, you also lost your mind! I've visualized how we're gonna win. It's really sucky Rico will have to get his head chewed off by a T-rex, I thought they were extinct. I'll be sure to, like, send his wife flowers. Shortly before I sleep with her. His kids will call me nana, and his dog will call me Jose. With a solid hold on Bryant's arm, Soul carries him off the canvas. As he slings the Detroiter over his shoulder in preparation for a running powerslam, he fakes a tremendous yawn, as if to inform the audience that Bryant poses absolutely zero threat to him. Perhaps, Soul yawned too quickly, however, as Tyler calls upon his great agility to slither down his adversary's back and onto the ground. The Smooth Soul Bro quickly whirls around to put himself back on the attack. Unfortunately, turn about is fair play, and the jive talkin pimp is now lifted onto Tyler's shoulders. Now its Ty's turn to shrug and feign disinterest with otherwise deadly foe. And like Lucius he pays dearly for his arrogance; Soul shimmies down his back before settling gently onto his feet. Angrily, he shoves his rival in the back which sends him careening towards Krista. This, of course, is just fine for Tyler who has the opportunity to fall into Krista's waiting bosom. This, of course, is not fine for Krista who may have the misfortune of Tyler falling into her waiting bosom. Thus, Krissy casually slides a few inches down the ramp, enough so that Tyler won't be able to accurately identify her bra size and so that she can still make a tag with Bryant. A great deafening cheer rises from the stands and from D*LUX, as Miss California strides into the ring. ALIX Yay Krissy! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” “Lucius Soul,” She starts as her longtime target stares bullets back at her, “You are a beautiful human being! You're a paroled crack dealer, a homophobe, and an admitted woman beater, I root for you like I root for the retard taking tickets at the movie theater, I want you to do good, I just don't wanna have to clean up your shit in the bathroom later on. But, honey, one thing you really need to work on, your acting skills. I haven't seen acting that poor, since I pretended to be straight.” And so it begins! Lacking any sort of verbal counter for Krista, Lucius shoots his leg towards his face. Unfortunately she catches it within her hands. She admonishes the fuming soul brother a quick finger wag before giving him a quick 360 twirl. Struck by horrific bout of nausea Soul is left defenseless when Krissy tightens her hands across the back of his neck. The bombshell then leaps with her knees pressed into his chest, bringing him down with an inverted lung blower! Soul recoils backwards, but somehow manages to stay upright. However he isn't able to do much besides clutch his chest and try to regain his quickly depleting breath. Distracted, he fails to register Krista's heels carrying her across the canvas to the ropes. Though he notices her return, its much to late to stage any sort of defense, and the walk of famer rips through him with a spear! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” chant the fans as Krista pulls a tube of lipstick out her top and makes sure her lips stay a pristine cherry red. COACH Jade its kinda difficult for someone to be like your mother, least of all someone who ain't got a shred of personality in their body. Why don't you try someone a lil easier to emulate? Someone like...me. JADE Gee..I..um..don't... ALIX Hey, uh, like production assistant dudes, we need twelve pounds of salt and a plate of lard, from the looks of you, tubby, her ass has a lot of catching up to do! Elsewhere, Vinny Valentine seeks his long desired retribution against the cold hearted fitness queen. And so he climbs onto the top rope, with mind set on crushing her with an axe handle smash. Despite his (only)friend's determination, Biff decides its his duty to take a proactive role in saving his life, and wraps his arms around Vinny's ankles to keep him from “plummeting to your grave!” Needless to say, Vinny isn't exactly enamored with Biff's assistance, and almost goes as far as to call him a square! ALIX Ya know, I am sooooo freakin glad that Biff dropped that stupid earth gimmick. Because, let's face it, earth is really sucky. 'Cause I was at the gym with Anne Hathaway, and she's like “we gotta save the earth, we gotta stop pollution.” and I'm like any planet that allows you to co-star in Get Smart and deserves to get taken over by that half turkey-half worm dude. You know, gobble worming, or whoever. What a jerk! Leave us alone you turkey-worm thingie! Finally rid of his partner's troublesome meddling, Vinny is free to strike at Krista with his axe handle smash. But its not as if Krista was in poor shape when he ascended to the top, and his argument with Biff certainly didn't do any wonders for his chances of success. Thus, its with little surprise when Vinny's attack is met with an expensive high heel lodged into his midsection. Vinny assumes he can retreat with his health intact, but alas such an escape won't be possible, as Krista leaps into the air and catches him with a diamond cutter! YEAAAAAAAA! Standing over Vinny, Krista remarks, “Vinny Valentine, you are a miserable specimen of life. Your matches don't last long enough for people to walk out. If you get any worse, you'll hit the bottom rung of the OAOAST ladder, and when you get there tell Christian Wright I said hi. The only reason you have a job is because you've lapped up more discarded fluids then a janitor's mop.” Vinny's only response is to weakly mumble obscenities, while Biff shakes his head and openly wonder “Why won't they listen to me?” Lucius Soul comes flying at Krissy with his long leg extended into a side kick. But the blonde haired beauty shoots her head beneath his attacking limb, and he goes sailing harmlessly past. When he comes down on his boots, he's forced to deal with a pair of two hundred seventy dollar L.A.M.B pumps slashing through his twenty dollar salvation army bought khakis. Fortunately, Soul's wrestling skills are slightly sharper then his fashion sense and he counters Krista by placing his hand on her neck and shoving her towards the ropes. When the cables bounce the GLAADiator back to Soul, he tightens his hands around her slender waist and then throws her into the sky for a flapjack! However that move does him more harm than good as Krista, laces her lovely tan legs around Soul's neck and dizzies him with a crowd popping hurricanrana! But, just soon as he hits the canvas, does Soul leap to his feet. This is certainly an ill advised course of action as Krista clamps her arms across his neck. Blinded by her flowing golden locks, and nearly strangled to the point of suffocation, Soul is easily victimized by the Blonds Never Pay a Cover (Side effect)! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” Rather foolishly, Soul scrapes his sore bones off the mat, with no real plan of action in mind. Krista pounces on his indecisive behavior with a series of lightening fast kicks to his stomach. After the third one hits, the GLAADiator springs into the air and whirls around to catch the former pimp square in the face with an even more deadly kick. The strike shoots every last bit of breath from Soul's body and clumsily hurls him all the way towards the corner. Unable to sustain his balance past the incredible pain, he simply sags forward to find a place to pass out. Yet, his wobbly legs walk himself straight into a middle finger followed by a DDT from the sassy covergirl! The ringleader of this campaign against her isn't left untouched, either; Krista shifts Vinny's jaw several inches to left with a thunderous back hand slap! YEAAAAAAAA! ALIX REAL NIGGA VISION, I AIN'T SEEIN NONE OF YOU! COACH Neck feeling as though its been ran through a wood chipper, Soul is strewn about the canvas with no hope of movement. Triumphantly towering above her foe, Krista fastens her hands onto her hips, and slowly glides them along her slender side to her big boobs. In slow tantalizing grace she spreads them apart and carefully rolls them around in circles. She leans forward ever so slightly, and with her hands back at the sides, squeezes the luscious orbs and puts the audience into a titillated shangri la. ALIX Oh my god, Jade, isn't awesome to have a mom who's so, like, open with her sexuality. My mom used to shove me in the dog house with a bowl of water and an issue of Highlights whenever the mailman would swing by the double wide. Or the plumber. Or my math teacher. Or our priest. Or my uncle. Or the mailman, my plumber, my math teacher and our local congressman. It must be awesome to have a mom who's on such a higher sexual plane! Like, you should ask her to show you how to get that kind of sexual level. JADE Its, uh, its not come up at the dinner table quite yet. She cuts short the spicy little flesh show in order to take to the skies with a standing shooting star press! Though the move is gorgeous, that's about all the benefit it has as Soul rolls out the way at the last possible second. Krista hits the canvas with a chilling thud, and even her abs of steel can't save her from the terrible burning pain within her stomach.While Krista screams and grimaces in pain, Soul retreats to his corner to make a tag with Biff Atlas. To no one's surprise, Biff isn't exactly gung ho about the situation, but is assured by his teammates that Krista's as weak as she's ever going to get. With never before seen speed, Biff charges into the ring, where he grabs onto Krista's long legs, and jackknifes through her body with a pin... ONE TWO! Krista casually pulls her shoulder off the canvas, and with even less effort rises to her feet. Fraught with fear that his already tiny window of opportunity has been slammed shut, Biff rushes to the ropes to attempt the legendary(!) Always Wear Safety Goggles (Running High Knee). Unfortunately Biff comes too close to Shayne Brave, and eats a left jab for his troubles. More angered than hurt, Biff swats his foe with a wild forearm. However, Showtime ducks the strike, and smashes his shoulder into Biff's stomach. Much to his infinite horror, Biff's protective vest helps him little and he's doubled over in quickly mounting anguish. Stumbling back towards Krista, her expensive high heels blasts him into the corner with a dropkick. Biff begs Rico for a tag, but because De Janeiro has the earplugs blocking his hearing, Biff's cries are unanswered. Smirking with a twisted delight, Krista waves “Night-Night” to Biff then charges in to drive the point of her knee directly into Atlas' jaw! Feeling a great and immeasurable pain Biff stumbles away from the turnbuckles, and the Hollywood sex kitten takes the opportunity to lift her heels onto the second rope. She takes a moment to admire her supersized image on the video screen then launches herself at Biff with a spinning wheel kick that slams back into the canvas. "Ahh, that ain't cool-o-roonie, baby! You're all stinkin up the joint!" Vinny loudly complains. JADE Wow! Mom is really taking it too Biff! ALIX Ya know, what she really needs to take? Her house cleaner to get deported! She's so sucky! I could shove a dust rag in a baboon's BUTT and he'd do a better job of cleaning than her. She leaves more hair in the tub then she cleans out. Biff's latest of many failures finally convinces Vinny Valentine that a traditional approach to this match may not be so wise. Thusly he decides to skirt a rulebook that's rarely enforced in the first place, and demands Rico enter the ring. Problematically, Rico can't hear a damn thing. “What?” “Get in there!” “What?” Frustrated beyond all belief, Vinny just rips the ear plugs out and screams “GET IN THE FUCKING RING!” Although annoyed with Vinny taking his only defense against Krista's trickery, De Janeiro enters the ring to bail Biff out of the situation he's woefully unequipped to handle. “Don't you start, don't you start, with yer little sweet talk, your little bullshit games, 'cause I ain't singin nothin, chica. Nothin” “I didn't even ask you to sing!” Krista protests. “Good, cause I ain't gonna sing. I sing over your grave, but I ain't gonna sing here. I don't break my word for nobody. You can't get to me sing, 'cause that's history. I'm in control.” “I would never dream of thinking otherwise.” “Good. 'Cause its my life, mami. Its my life! Its my life!” “ITS MY LIFE” sings a gruff authoritative voice in the far off distance, which draws stares of wonderment across every inch of the arena. Rico's heart seems to visibly sink into his stomach at the thought that Krista's treachery now extends to ghosts. Vinny tries to get him to focus but the confusion brought on by aggressive and steady guitar riffs shatters such hopes. “This ain't a song for the broken-hearted. No silent prayer for faith-departed. I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd. You're gonna hear my voice. When I shout it out loud” The mysterious voice continues to blare. Suddenly the arena dims with a thick, dreamy blue lighting, where the brightest light is a spotlight that shines on the entrance way and... “It's my life! It's now or never But I ain't gonna live forever! I just wanna live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway! Like Frankie said "I did it my way" I just wanna live while I'm alive! It's my life!” COACH She got Bon Jovi?! ALIX Yeaaaah, she kinda told him this was the Virgin Fest, and he'd be going on before Kanye. And, hey, do ya like Gnarls Barkley? Because if this match goes on for four more minutes they're scheduled to perform. God damn it if Rico isn't floating through heaven on cloud nine. This isn't the playground bully routinely tormenting him to an audience of millions, this is a rock legend pointing to him, investing his faith in him, and demanding that he rock this mother out. Who is he to say no to the ability to live a dream? “It's my life! It's now or never But I ain't gonna live forever! I just wanna live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway! Like Frankie said "I did it my way" I just wanna live while I'm alive! It's my life!” He bleats into a microphone As if she were Cher and he was sonny, Krista rubs her back against Rico and sings in a powerfully soulful tone, “This is for ones who stood their ground! For Tommy and Gina who never backed down! Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake! Luck ain't even lucky! You've got to make your owns breaks!” With backs pressed against each other, and spotlight immortalizing them in the eyes of the world, Krista and Rico join Bon Jovi into pouring their heart into the classic tune “It's my life! It's now or never! But I ain't gonna live forever! I just wanna live while I'm alive (It's my life) My heart is like an open highway! Like Frankie said "I did it my way" I just wanna live while I'm alive! It's my life!” After the rollicking the guitar solo, Bon Jovi and Krista let Rico immerse himself in this fantasy come to life with a thundering solo “Better stand tall when they're calling you out “Don't bend don't break, baby don't back down It's my life. And it's now or never 'Cause I ain't gonna live forever” SUPERKICK BY KRISTA! “YEAAAAA!” COLE An impromptu performance by Bon Jovi all for a near undefeated wrestler to superkick one of the if not the worst wrestler in the company. Gotta sell those DVD's somehow! JADE You're gonna need a lot more than Bon Jovi to sell any show with Cuban Wall in a world title match. COACH Dayum girl, you ain't gotta take it there! You might be like your mother after all... Krista bids Bon Jovi a fond farewell, and gives him a hearty outpouring of thanks and praise for his selfless service in the ongoing effort to ensure that Rico never becomes a credible character in the OAOAST . The audience as well applauds the bowing rock superstar for his work Rico's humiliation. Shockingly enough Krissy feels a pang of pity and offers her hand in a truce to Rico. The Brazilian is understandably mistrusting of her kindness. “Come on, Rico, we've got to hold on to what we've got.” She says with heartfelt kindness. “It doesn´t make a difference If we make it or not. We've got each other and that´s a lot. For love - we´ll give it a shot.” Rico finds his antipathy towards Krista somewhat softened by his sugary sweet voice and takes her hand, to rise upright. “Whooaaaaaa! We´re half way there! Whooooaaaa! Livin' on a prayer! Take my hand- we´ll make it - I swear! Whooaaaa! Livin' on a prayer!” She sings to him with her hands pressed against his chest ““Whooaaaaaa! We´re half way there! Whooooaaaa! Livin' on a prayer!” He belts back. SUPERKICK BY KRISTA! “YEAAAAA!” “Maybe this wasn't such a groovy idea.” Vinny wonders aloud. If Vinny is starting to err on the better side of caution, Lucius is on the worst possible side, flinging himself at Krista with a spring board lariat. Showcasing her impressive strength he catches his skinny frame onto his shoulders. “Lucius Soul, now that I have your captive attention, why on earth am I wrestling you? I'm on the walk of fame, I have my own line of exercise videos, I had my own television show, and you, you're seen less than big foot. The only difference is people go looking for big foot! Your career is going so poorly, I saw you backstage carrying bags for the Burroughs Boys. But its not all, bad, honey. Who can pick a fro like you? Rico? He can't even pick enough fruit to feed his bastard children.” Angered by her continued sonnage, Soul begins bucking and thrashing against her clutches, and finally manages to drag himself off her shoulders. In a bit of rarity, Krista is somewhat stunned by his counter, and its for that reason alone he's able to bring her down with a side Russian leg sweep! “I'ma Pimp, I hold my dick like a holster! All the girlies want a Lucius Soul poster!” he screams to the audience. ”YEAAAAAA!” Did the fans suddenly turn to the side of big pimpin? Uh...no. D*LUX has entered the ring to protect Krista from any further attacks from Soul. Together they bash him with chops that put bright red welts onto his dark skin. Having weakened him with their savage strikes, they grab hold of his wrist and throw him towards the ropes. As he approaches both boys go low and take away his legs with basement dropkicks. Left on his knees and under a terrible amount of duress, Soul is struck down by the New Kicks On The Block double basement dropkick! The previously loud mouthed brawler is silenced, and falls over onto his back, face drained of all life. “No! I thought you were colder than a deuce, Lucius! What are you doin in there?” Valentine bemoans. ”YEAAAAAA!” ALIX Oooooh ooooh oooh this is so exciting! So exciting! If I hadn't lost Krista's priceless antique pearls in a high stakes game of gin with the hells angels I'd totally be clutching them right now! The audience's delight is short lived, however, when Biff Atlas returns to life strike down Tyler with a lariat! Now Biff growls and pivots about, swatting at Brave. Though the boyband cutie manages to get his arm up in time to block the blow, he's still sent tumbling against the corner posts. Atlas rumbles forward, slamming one well muscled arm at the spot where Brave his standing. Showtime is fast and sidesteps the attack, gliding down the ropes. Cheated, confused, and angered his cries for a safer ring posts have not been heard, Biff stomps his foot on the ground in frustration. Vinny is equally distraught with Biff's efforts, “Biff, daddy, watcha doin in there?” “LET'S GO SHAYNE! LET'S GO SHAYNE! LET'S GO SHAYNE!” Shayne leaps onto Biff's back and immediately slips an arm around the safety nut's throat and beneath his chin. Just the very thought of being in a chokehold cripples Biff with worry, and he screams his submission. “I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP!” “No you don't!” Vinny screams from the safety of the apron. "Fight through the pain, daddy! Fight!" Locked in a terrifying stranglehold, Biff shakes his head and gurgles breathlessly, then lurches forward almost sending Shayne toppling over the top rope! But Showtime holds on tight, latching onto Biff with every bit of strength in his body. Biff screams and claws at his head, quite honestly fearing a fast approaching death. “GET OUT OF THERE, BIFFY! YOU'RE SCREWIN EVERYTHING UP!” Vinny complains He spins blindly, smashing headlong into the corner posts. Driven into the steel with such resounding force, Shayne is unable to maintain his hold on Biff and his arms fall away from his throat. Angered and still panicked, Biff drives his broad shoulder into Brave's stomach, feeling his body contracting and convulsing beneath him. In a frantic attempt to avoid more assaults from Biff Shayne hurls himself away from the corner posts. But Atlas catches hold of him with a full nelson! Despratley Shayne makes a bid to be free of Atlas' vice grip, however there's no escape and Atlas swings his rival forward to attack him with Caution, Big Drop Ahead (full nelson face plant)! COACH You got any decent advice for your team, Jade? What is that you do as manager anyway? Nothing? Nada? Zip? Zero? ALIX Oh how cute! Zip and zero are gonna be the amount of testicles you have after I tell Krissy you were talkin smack about her kid! COACH I'll be quiet. Biff takes hold of Shayne's legs, and dives backwards so as to slingshot him into the ropes. Brave lands throat first onto the cables, bringing out worried gasps from the young girls in attendance who may be forever robbed of his beautiful singing voice. They watch in horror as Brave stumbles backwards right into a school boy from Biff... ONE! TWO! But Biff's ability to hold Shayne in place is hindered by his distraction at the sight that lies before his eyes; Krista seductively tracing her tongue across her voluptuous red lips, and nodding down to a raised skirt that reveals a jiggling and grinding booty. JADE Oh my! Past her firm tush Biff sees the light on an EXIT sign in the stands is burnt out! Atlas certainly can't tolerate such a glaring disregard for the well being of the spectators, and begins rushing over to practice his amateur electrician skills. But, Biff loafers don't even get halfway across the ring, before Krista tags him in the jaw with an elbow! Atlas pleads for her to let him go free to carry on his safety duties, but she unsurprisingly refuses him and strikes him with a second elbow. His head lolls from side to side, as he totters clumsily on his feet. Thankfully he gets a moment to catch his breath as Miss California has to enthrall her legion of fans by stroking her picture perfect hair. If Biff had any inclination to make Krista finally pay for her arrogance, we'll never know of it as Shayne grabs onto his arm and spins him around in order to strike his chest with a spinning back fist. Already weakened by Krista's elbows, Biff is ready to crumple insto a lifeless shell. But, Brave keeps him aloft by holding his head in a snap mare position. Without giving the cowardly heel any opportunity to fight back, Brave falls forward and mercifully KO'S him with a diamond cutter! "YEAAAAA!" JADE The Shaynedrop! Way to go! The painfully overmatched heel team lies in beaten heaps, their carcasses carelessly dumped across the landscape of the warzone. Now All eyes fall onto Vinny, and these are not eyes of wrestlers awaiting their next competitor, these are the eyes of the killers awaiting their next victim. And this is a victim who's entire thought process is infected with fear. A fear that tells him to get the hell out of here. “Uh...ya'll cats is what's happening, but I gotta get backstage and get my proper swerve on with some fine chickadees! Catch ya on the rebound!” Forgetting his grandiose plan to achieve fame, fortune and simple respectability, Vinny hops off the ring apron with eyes darting to spot the nearest exit. When he spots his gateway to paradise, he rushes there just as quickly as his stubby legs will allow him. Unfortunately his bid for safety failed to take into account Tyler Bryant lying in wait. And as he rounds the corner of the ring, Bryant roadblocks his path with a spear! "YEAAAAA!" scream the audience as Tyler pumps his fist in celebration. At Krista's politely stated request, Bryant becomes Vinny's escort, roughly handling him into the ring. With Shayne, they hold the Disco Duck up in front of Krista, and his eyes flood with pain and confusion, as he's held by a fright normally reserved for those facing their final moments on an electric chair. “Oh, honey, I have a few words for you.” Krista says with feigned innocence that has Vinny wincing in agony. “Of all the wrestlers to rip off, you pick Disco Inferno. Disco Inferno? How stupid can you be, Vinny? Why didn't you do us a favor and rip off Bruiser Brody so we can have the pleasure of seeing you get stabbed to death in the locker room? You're so washed up, parents tell their kids to vinny valentine before dinner. Honey, the 500,000 they're giving away for this tournament isn't some random number. 500,000 is the number of people who change the channel whenever you wrestle. You're seen less than soap at Lucius Soul's house. Its a good thing you fought me, because now you can write a book on this feud “how to fuck up a job you shouldn't have got in the first place. Honey, I've killed more wrestlers than steroids, overdoses and Vince McMahon combined. You thought you were a competitor, but I’m serving you like Federer. I could destroy your career just saying etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Boys, if you would be so kind.” COACH Awwww naaaw! Krista went in on dat whiteboy's ass! ALIX No hetero! Ignoring Valentine's offerings of friendship, servitude, and strange sexual favors, Tyer lifts the disco duck onto his shoulders. Muffling Vinny's last ditch efforts to secure mercy, Shayne hooks his arms across Valentine's head. The fans let out a large pop, that grows even louder when the boys from Deteroit hit the Rock Your Body (Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker Combo)! Krista plants her heel on Vinny's stomach, as Tyler hooks the leg and Shayne covers the chest, and they both try to steal a peak up her skirt. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE!! The fans erupt with raucous delight as Robinson's hand touches down on the mat for a three count! D*LUX leap off the mat into a tight embrace with each other, not quite what they were hoping for, but alas Krista has already retreated to the ropes to beam an arresting victory smile towards the roaring crowd. Never the less, D*LUX is (or is it “are”?) comfortable enough in their masculinity to have a good old fashioned hug between them. JADE What an wwesome victory! ALIX Yeah, even though I didn't, like, ya know doing anything, besides look super hot, which I always do anyways, and my girlfriend did all the really hard work I still feel like I totally accomplished something and can take credit for her stuff. That must be what it feels like to be married to Gwen Stefani! COLE A new day has dawned in the OAOAST, but for Vinny Valentine and his gang of misfits, its the same old miserable life. ALIX Today's lesson, never aspire to better yourself. COLE Here! Here! Jade, D*LUX can look forward to chasing down their six man titles with Leon Rodez... COACH If Le-Ro don't fuck around and get that ass beat again in War Games, or if he don't get some kind of NTD. Nerdly Transmitted Disease. COLE And, Krista has a chance to become Miss California and Miss Money In The Bank with her entry into the tournament! She'll meet up with ThunderKid in the first round. JADE More money for my trust fund! On Sunday night, August 31st, the OAOAST presents an event so hot you can frey an egg on it! HOTTER THAN HELL~!!! Card and logo subject to change Edited July 2, 2008 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 Josh Matthews is standing backstage with Alfdogg, Thunderkid and Reject. JOSH Standing here with 3/4 of the Deadly Alliance, the tag team champions Thunderkid and Reject, coming off a victory tonight over newcomers the Compton PD, as well as the leader of the Deadly Alliance, former World heavyweight champion Alfdogg, and speaking of the World title, all three of you guys are entered in the Money in the Bank tournament, which will grant the winner a shot at the World title at anytime he pleases, as well as $1 million. Your thoughts, gentlemen? REJECT I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself, Josh! I mean, can you imagine the heartache Maggie's going through right now, knowing that she couldn't conduct this interview with me after another successful title defense? TK pats Reject on the back, and Alf cracks a slight grin. ALF And as far as this tournament goes, it looks like we've finally got some brainpower amongst the OAOAST brass... Suddenly, the locker room door opens up, and the voice of Vinny Valentine is heard. VINNY IT'S ON, TONY! The Family Matters theme is heard blaring from the locker room. TONY (faint, off-camera) OH, FUCK! The camera quickly cuts to Tony bounding down the corridor towards the locker room. TONY SHIT! Tony runs right through the interview section, bumping Alf into the wall as he barrels into the locker room. TONY GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY, BITCH! Tony slams the door behind him, and can be heard yelling at Vinny "WHERE'S MY FUCKING BEER, YOU ASSHOLE?" Alf stares at the door for a few seconds, confused, then turns back to Josh. ALF As I was saying...those OAOAST higher-ups are finally getting smart. Someone up there finally realizes that the Deadly Alliance is the hottest organization in wrestling today, and thus, we have strength in numbers going into this Money In the Bank tournament. With three men out of 16 participants, there's no way we can be stopped. One of us is going to earn that contract and that money, it's just a matter of time. Alf then jumps, as a loud thud is heard against the door. TONY FUCK MILLER HIGH LIFE! JOSH Well, straight to the point, as always, Alfdogg and the Deadly Alliance! The DA walks away, as Josh eagerly knocks on the locker room door. TONY GO AWAY YOU ASSHOLE, I'M WATCHING URKEL! Josh gets a disappointed look on his face, then looks to the camera and shrugs his shoulders. *back to Sofa Central* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 (edited) COLE Coming up next is a match that some might say is a long time coming. The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. The match-up graphic for Tha Puerto Rican/Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship appears on screen. The crowd cheers loudly. "Gratitude" by the Beastie Boys plays in the background. COLE Cuban Wall, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, gets his OAOAST Championship shot three months later. But the important thing to him is that he is getting it! And he will be facing off against the man whose group he was apart of for four years of his life, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Tha Puerto Rican! COACH It's about damn time! COLE Cuban Wall agrees with you on that, Coach! He might be the only one that agrees with you on that actually. This match is important not just for Wall, but for Tha Puerto Rican also. This is his chance to prove how much of his past success was due to him, and NOT The Lightning Crew! This is his one chance to show the world that he can survive on his own without ANY help from The Lightning Crew! COACH Well, like The Lightning Crew's old theme song used to say, P.R. has got NO CHANCE IN HELL of beating Cuban Wall and walking out of the Target Center still OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I can bet on that! COLE There are alot of people who feel the same way. Can Tha Puerto Rican overcome the biggest challenge to his Title based simply on the SIZE of Cuban Wall, nevermind the fact that Cuban Wall knows Tha Puerto Rican better than any of his other opponents have thus far! We are about to find out! The first half of our double main event here at The Great Angle Bash 2008 is about to begin in just a few moments, fans! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship is on the line in the biggest test of Tha Puerto Rican's World Heavyweight Championship reign thus far! You can say that this match is really five years in the making. The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. CUE: PRL/Cuban Wall video package Cut to a gray and black screen. The image is grainy. In big black blocky letters we see: 2003 Cut to OAOAST World Without End 2003 on October 26, 2003. Cut to the ending of the Puerto Rican Lightning/Blurricane OAOAST North American Championship Match. Colombian Heat runs to the ring and begins brawling with Blurricane. Vitamin X, Thomas Rodreguiez, and Mr. Boricua recuperate on the outside. Blurricane gets the best of the brawl with Heat and prepares to give him the Blur Effect when....... A rotound size man runs into the ring. The crowd is in awe of this man who wears a Cuban flag bandana, black vest, a white Lightning Crew t-shirt, black elbowpads, fingerless black gloves, a gold chain around the neck, blue long tights, and red boots. This goatee-wearing indivual is carrying a steel chain as he enters the ring. JR What the? Who is this? Who is that man? JESSE I have no idea, Jim Ross. The crowd is still in awe but begin booing when the mysterious man begins choking out Blurricane with the steel chain. JR Wait a minute!!! THAT MAN IS CHOKING BLURRICANE TO DEATH!!! JESSE I guess a steel chain is Blurricane's kyprotnite isn't it? JR This isn't funny, Jess. Blurricane is suffocating right here in the middle of the ring! The crowd continues booing as the mysterious man continues choking out Blurricane with the steel chain. Blurricane is nearly unconscious when Colombian Heat grabs a pair of brass knucks from his shorts and hits Blurricane with them knocking Blurricane onto the mat face first. Colombian Heat and the mysterious man leave the ring as PRL begins to get up. JR WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? JESSE It's pretty simple JR! That mysterious man is a member of the Lightning Crew! JR DAMNIT!!! GOD NO!!! ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE LIGHTNING CREW!!! WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO BLURRICANE? WHY? The crowd becomes hyper as Puerto Rican Lightning gets up dazed. His facepaint gone, PRL grabs the unconscious Blurricane and gives him the P.R. Nightmare and covers him. The referee begins to get up as the Lightning Crew surround the ring. The referee gets up and counts. JR NO! NOT THIS WAY!!!! NO!!!! 1....... 2....... 3!!!!! *DING DING DING* JR DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT!!! GMC Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest....and STILL OaOasT North American Champion, PUERTO RICAN LIGGHHHHTTTTNNNINNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" begins to play over the P.A. System as the crowd boos. Chants of "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" fill the arena as the Lightning Crew enter the ring to help their fallen boss. Blurricane is still unconscious on the mat as the crowd continues booing. JR THIS IS NOT FAIR!!! BLURRICANE, AFTER REGAINING HIS OAOAST CONTRACT LAST MONTH AT DIRTY DEEDS HAS FALLEN IN HIS QUEST TO BECOME THE OAOAST NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION AND ALL BECAUSE OF INTERFERENCE FROM THE LIGHTNING CREW! BLURRICANE HAD THIS MATCH WON, DAMNIT! HE HAD IT WON! JESSE He tried but failed. Face it, Jim Ross! Tonight, on October 26, 2003, Puerto Rican Lightning proved to the world that he is indeed Blurricane's kyprtonite, and I, for one, couldn't be the more happier. That phony-wannabe superhero got exactly what he deserved! "Know Your Role 2K3 (Hollywood Version)" continues to play as the Lightning Crew help PRL stand up. Mr. Boricua hands PRL his Puerto Rican Championship belt and the mysterious man with the steel chain hands PRL the OaOasT North American Championship belt. PRL hugs the man and shakes his hand. He gets a kiss from Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez than raises his belts to boos. He stands on the apron and gives the crowd the finger. PRL jaws with the fans and raises his belts. Cut to the November 4, 2003 edition of OAOAST IntenseZone. Puerto Rican Lightning: Now, let me pass the mic to the very man who helped me retain the NA Championship at World Without End. A man who I respect greatly. A man who, like the rest of the Lightning Crew, watches my back wherever I go. A man, who is the offical "Muscle" of the Lightning Crew. Ladies and gentlemen, from the great island nation of Cuba, give it up for CUBAN WALL!!! (CLIP ALERT) Cuban Wall(Deep, Macho Voice): Thank You PRL. Thank You very much. Puerto Rican Lightning, I am HONORED to be apart of The Lightning Crew and am so happy that you chose me to be the Muscle of this great stable. You see, people, I was just like all of you once. I hated Puerto Rican myself. I thought he was arrogrant, annoying, disgusting, and a big piece of crap! (The crowd cheers) I would watch him wrestle and I would be absolutely sicken by his actions. I couldn't believe that the OaOasT had someone like him. Unlike Colombian Heat, I was a wrestling fan my entire life, and when I saw PRL attack Mad Cappa. Attack Shooter Jay. Attack Lauren Gellar. I was disgusted that he would insult pro wrestling the way he did. But then, something happened. I saw the light. I don't know how. I don't know why. But whatever reason, be it by God, time, or fate, my feelings on PRL changed. I no longer looked at him like an evil, sadistic human being. Instead, I looked at him like the great athlethe he really is. I looked at him like the great man he really is. I looked at him and I didn't see a psycho. I saw a superhero. I didn't see an egomaniac. I saw a compassionate human being. I didn't see a annoying piece of crap. I saw a man who you loved to be with. PRL isn't like all of you. He is a man among man. A god. A superhero. A ledgend. People, if you just look at him differently like I did, you would like him too. Please, don't be so close-minded. Open up your eyes and see the man for who he really is. Puerto Rican Lightning is the man you all should be. You should be on your knees and kissing his feet. You should all be thanking your lucky stars that PRL has chosen to be in the OaOasT when he could have gone to Ring of Honor, NWA: TNA, or even World Wrestling Entertainment. PRL is here because he WANTS to be. Not because he had to. And for that, YOU should be thankful. Because if it weren't for PRL, you would all still be living boring, patheic, miserable lives. If it weren't for PRL, you would all be forced to watch untalented wrestler after untalented wrestler. If it weren't for PRL, you would all be forced to watch Mad Cappa and only Mad Cappa. If it weren't for PRL, the Deadly Alliance would be the only dominant stable on IZ. People, stand up! Stand up and applaud this man. (Voice getting louder): PEOPLE STAND UP! STAND UP DAMNIT!!! The years go by and we see clips of Cuban Wall helping Tha Puerto Rican many many times in his matches. The years flash across the screen: 2004, 2005, 2006, finally stopping on 2007 Cut to the November 30, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. CUBAN WALL CLOTHESLINES THE BACK OF THA PUERTO RICAN'S NECK!!!!! COLE WHAT!? COACH WHAT!? CROWD WHAT!? Cuban Wall starts stomping on Tha Puerto Rican! Mr. Boricua joins him! So does The Bone Thug! Then Vitamin X! Even Thomas Rodriguez gets some kicks in! CROWD ......... COLE ...... COACH ........ Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Princess Stacey look on with evil smiles on their faces. They both laugh maniacally as The Lightning Crew continues their beatdown on...the leader of The Lightning Crew! COLE Am...am I seeing things!? Is this really happening!? COACH It's really happening, Michael! After all these years, it's finally happened! The Lightning Crew has had enough of Tha Puerto Rican bossing them around! The crowd, having fallen in love with Tha Puerto Rican, starts booing loudly. But their boos don't stop the beatdown taking place on The Corporate...uh...The...Champ. Popick meanwhile is laughing it up outside the ring. COLE The Lightning Crew has turned on Tha Puerto Rican! THE LIGHTNING CREW HAS BETRAYED THA PUERTO RICAN! Somber music plays as we see Cuban Wall attack Tha Puerto Rican several times over the next several months. Cut to a gray and black screen. The image is grainy. In big black blocky letters we see: 2008 Cut to the ending of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match from OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008 on January 27, 2008. Stephen Joseph Popick drops the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and the OAOAST International Championship belt onto the floor. He then rolls up his sleeves, spits in both of his hands, rubs them together, jumps up and down in place, lets out a yell, and then rushes forward-- At the same time, Cuban Wall delivers a BIG BOOT to the back of Tha Puerto Rican’s head!!! COLE Hey! Wait a minute! Stephen Joseph Popick stops in his tracks as Tha Puerto Rican staggers in the ring thanks to the big boot. He uses the top ring rope to prevent himself from falling onto the mat. However, that just gives Cuban Wall the perfect opportunity to grab PRL's legs... ...flip Tha Puerto Rican up into the air... ...over the top ring rope... *THUD!* ...AND ONTO THE FLOOR!!!! THA PUERTO RICAN’S WHOLE ENTIRE BODY HITS THE PROTECTIVE MATS, WITH STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK STANDING OVER HIM~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 COLE WAIT A MINUTE! NO! NO! NO! *DING DING DING* (61:09) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Popick immediately starts jumping up and down in celebration. Tha Puerto Rican is only face down on the ground for two seconds before he lifts his head up and looks up to the ring to see that his worst fear has come true. COLE CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! CUBAN WALL WINS! COACH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THA PUERTO RICAN ENTERED: 1st LEFT: 29th TIME IN RING: 1:01:09 ELIMINATED: The Bone Thug, Mr. Boricua, Spanish Fly, Vitamin X ELIMINATED BY: Cuban Wall LEFT IN RING: Cuban Wall ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TEH WINN0R~!: Cuban Wall ENTERED: 18th TIME IN RING: 32:17 ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Reject, John Brickston (co), Tha Puerto Rican ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLL! COLE The Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation snags the Lethal Rumble Match for the first time ever! COACH And it's the CORPORATE Wall that does it for them! HA! HA! HA! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. Stephen Joseph Popick unrolls his sleeves and dusts his hands, an evil smile on his face. Fans throw garbage in his direction, which causes Popick to taunt those that do. COLE And you know what this means... COACH Yes, Cuban Wall gets the $1 million! COLE AND Cuban Wall will face Stephen Joseph Popick at AngleMania VII! COACH Oh, that is a Dream Match to be sure! Cuban Wall gets to live out his dream in front of over 100,000 people in the L.A. Coliseum! It doesn't get any better that that! Tha Puerto Rican sits up on the outside, PISSED OFF~! COLE Cuban Wall is going to AngleMania, and Tha Puerto Rican is LIVID! Cut to Cuban Wall speaking from the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. CUBAN WALL for almost three months now, you have been walking around with stolen property. That’s right. I’m talking about the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. The belt that SHOULD belong to me! (CLIP ALERT!) WALL (CONT’D) I won the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match, and as we all know, the winner of the Lethal Rumble Match goes on to OAOAST AngleMania to face the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion in the main event. And for some reason, that DIDN’T happen this year! Oh no, instead, you went ahead, you STOLE my Title shot away from me IN A MATCH THAT I WASN’T EVEN INVOLVED IN, and then you took your stolen Title shot all the way to OAOAST AngleMania VII where you defeated Stephen Joseph Popick to win your first World Heavyweight Title! Cut to the February 14, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. THA PUERTO RICAN LEAPS OFF OF THE TOP OF THE SCAFFOLDING ONTO THE CABLES~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111 COLE OH MY GOD! COACH WHOA! The crowd is shocked at what PRL just did! PRL hangs on desperately to the cables! PRL wraps his legs around the cables, and then scoots forward, only a few inches away from the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo. COLE Is this it? Is this it? COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! PRL is now only an inch away from the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo. Tha Puerto Rican stretches his left arm out… …The crowd gets louder… PRL grabs a hold of the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo. COLE Could it be… COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! …PRL slowly pulls the OAOAST AngleMania VII logo off of the hook… COACH NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! THA PUERTO RICAN PULLS THE OAOAST ANGLEMANIA VII LOGO OFF OF THE HOOK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE He’s got the logo! He wins the match! COACH NO!!! *DING DING DING* (17:59) COLE Tha Puerto Rican has got the Title shot! Tha Puerto Rican is going to AngleMania VII! (CLIP) COLE It’s true. Cuban Wall is no longer the #1 Contender to the OAOAST Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII! Tha Puerto Rican is now the #1 Contender to the OAOAST Championship! (CLIP) COACH It’s still bogus! Cuban Wall has been SCREWED! (CLIP) COLE Cuban Wall, the 2008 Lethal Rumble winner, has lost his GUARANTEED WORLD TITLE SHOT to his former boss! Cut to the ending of Tha Puerto Rican/Stephen Joseph Popick OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match from OAOAST AngleMania VII on March 30, 2008. …PRL hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, stops in his tracks, puts his right foot into the air, extends his right arm into the air…and then drops his right elbow into Stephen Joseph Popick’s chest! The Puerto Rico Elbow! “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” (CLIP ALERT!) 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (18:22) “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE HE DID IT! HE FINALLY DID IT! THA PUERTO RICAN IS FINALLY WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! All 100,000 plus fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum go nuts! Tha Puerto Rican bursts into tears! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing. BUFFER Here is your winner…and NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Woooooorrrrllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd…THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE He has done it! After 10 long years, Tha Puerto Rican has become World Heavyweight Champion! Tha Puerto Rican’s journey has culminated at OAOAST AngleMania VII! (CLIP ALERT!) Earl Hebner grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper. Earl Hebner hands the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt to Tha Puerto Rican. PRL is on his knees crying when the Senior OAOAST Referee hands him the OAOAST Title belt. PRL grabs ahold of the belt and then holds it close to his heart. Tha Puerto Rican sits on the mat and stares at the center gold plate on the belt as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. (CLIP ALERT!) Earl Hebner has also left the ring. This leaves PRL all alone in the ring with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. The camera does a wide pan of the thousands in attendance standing up and cheering Tha Puerto Rican on as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing. PRL manages to crack a smile amidst all of his tears. He gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow, and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a LOUD pop from the crowd! Tha Puerto Rican lets out a primal scream, tears of joy flowing down his face. (CLIP ALERT!) PRL gives the fans The People’s Eyebrow again. He then walks on over to a turnbuckle corner. PRL climbs the second turnbuckle and then raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his right hand while “smelling the electricity” as a single white spotlight shines down on him. The crowd erupts at this. (CLIP ALERT!) Fireworks continue exploding in the night sky over the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Pyro continues going off in various corners of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. More pyro goes off around the exterior of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Confetti continues getting blown into the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum via giant leaf blowers inside the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Tha Puerto Rican is still playing to the fans, many of whom still haven’t left their seats yet. Colombian Heat is still applauding his friend inside of the ring. The Mad Cappa finishes chugging his beer and then throws it aside. He calls for another beer from the timekeeper, who throws him one. The Mad Cappa pops open the can and chugs the beer, spilling some more beer onto his long white shirt. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his left hand once again. Tha Puerto Rican walks around the ring raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in the air with his left hand. The tears have dried on his cheeks. He is breathing hard, suffering from fatigue. Our final image from OAOAST AngleMania VII is of Tha Puerto Rican, tired, in pain, breathing hard, fatigued. But, he is still happy. Cut back to Cuban Wall speaking from the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. WALL EVERYTHING that has happened to you over the past three months SHOULD have happened TO ME! *I* should have been in the main event of OAOAST AngleMania VII! *I* should have won my first World Heavyweight Title! *I* should have had a celebration with all of my friends while confetti and balloons fell from the sky! THAT SHOULD HAVE ALL BEEN ME! But you, being the same selfish little BASTARD that you always were and always will be, you decided that someone else couldn’t have the spotlight! You decided that someone else’s time shouldn’t have come! No, it had to be YOU! It HAD to be YOU! Because the world revolves around Tha Puerto Rican! As a matter of fact, the whole universe revolves around Tha Puerto Rican because he’s just that awesome! *Cough* NOT! Cut to the June 6, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. Wall then nonchalantly steps over Heat's body to get to Tha Puerto Rican. Picking his former leader up, Wall goozles the helpless World Champion around the throat, looking his dead in the eyes before taking him up... and DOWN with a CHOKESLAM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit! Cuban Wall is picking the bones on the World Champion! (CLIP ALERT!) Cuban Wall apparantly isn't done with him yet though, so gives him an assist. Not a helpful one however, as he pulls Tha Puerto Rican up only to send him right back down, courtesy of THE WALLBREAKER!! PRL lays in a heap on the canvas, as Wall then backs off the ropes with a LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH sized exclamation point!! COLE Come on, enough already! COACH Enough!? After what PRL has done to this man, this is just the beginning! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The P - R - L chants are silenced now, as the World Champion lays motionless in the ring and powerless to respond. Stepping over his former Lightning Crew mentor, Cuban Wall climbs out of the ring and over to the timekeeper's table, routing through the mound of eight championship belts to find the one he wants. The World Heavyweight Title, which he snatches and climbs back into the ring with. Wall walks over to where PRL lies and places one foot on his chest, before raising the title belt high over his head "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" (CLIP ALERT!) Cuban Wall continues to stand tall with PRL's OAOAST Title in his hands and PRL himself motionless underneath his foot... Cut to the June 13, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. The cameraman runs fast to catch CUBAN WALL beating THA PUERTO RICAN! (CLIP) Cuban Wall pummels Tha Puerto Rican with right hands! Tha Puerto Rican is bleeding from the mouth! Wall sets PRL up against a wall (HA!), and then proceeds to nail PRL with soupbones all over his body! PRL screams out in pain! Wall finishes with a big right jab to Tha Puerto Rican's face knocking him down! The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lies next to P.R.L. (CLIP) Cuban Wall stomps on Tha Puerto Rican a few times! (CLIP) Wall chokes PRL with his right foot! CUBAN WALL Come on, Champ! GET UP! Cuban Wall picks the groggy Puerto Rican up. Wall clutches P.R. by his throat and points a menacing finger at him. Wall taunts PRL and then throws him into another wall! Wall then throws PRL into the wall that they were just at! PRL slumps down onto the floor, obviously knocked out! The crowd boos. (CLIP) CUBAN WALL Consider this a warning! Cuban Wall SPITS on Tha Puerto Rican! He then laughs manically. Cuban Wall sneers at PRL. Cuban Wall turns around and walks away, leaving Tha Puerto Rican knocked out on the floor. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lies next to Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos loudly. The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican knocked out, bleeding from his mouth, breathing hard. Cut to Cuban Wall speaking again from the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. CUBAN WALL Well, P.R., old buddy, old pal, what goes around, comes around. Karma has bitten you on your ass. In the form of me, Cuban Wall, kicking your ass all over this country! (CLIP) The Title shot never should have been put up for grabs in the first place! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE LETHAL RUMBLE WINNER AUTOMATICALLY GOES TO ANGLEMANIA TO FIGHT FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! (CLIP) *I* won WITHIN THE RULES. And the rules stated that I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A TITLE SHOT AS A PRIZE! AND I DIDN’T. PRL Excuse me while I play the world’s smallest violin. CUBAN WALL STOP WITH THE JOKES, P.R.! PRL Nah, they’re fun! (CLIP) CUBAN WALL All right then. How does a match at The Great Angle Bash sound? PRL Wow. And I needed an opponent for The Great Angle Bash too! Sweet! Now I have one! You got it! CUBAN WALL Okay then. And just so that there aren’t any excuses WHEN I beat you, let’s make our match special. Let’s make it…a NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH! No disqualifications, no countouts, no stopping the match for excessive blood loss. No NOTHING! Just you and I fighting each other and the first man to score a pinfall OR a submission wins the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! How does THAT all sound to you!? THA PUERTO RICAN I don’t even have to think about it, Wall. I ACCEPT! The crowd cheers. COLE Whoa! How about that? Our main event for The Great Angle Bash has just been announced! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Cuban Wall in a No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship! COACH Finally, justice will be served! At long last! THA PUERTO RICAN But hey, hey, hey, why don’t we give these people a little preview of The Great Angle Bash? Huh? How about it? Why don’t we show these people what they can expect at The Great Angle Bash? What do you say, Wall? The crowd cheers again. Cuban Wall chuckles. He has a cocky smirk on his face. (CLIP) The crowd eggs Cuban Wall on. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd. He then looks at Cole and Coach. Finally, Wall looks at Tha Puerto Rican, who is motioning for Wall to “JUST BRING IT!” Wall chuckles again. WALL Well… Cuban Wall puts down his microphone on top of the announce table. He then removes his sunglasses and puts them down on top of the announce table. He then removes his gold chains and hands them to Coach. (CLIP) Cuban Wall gets on the ring apron. He is still talking trash to PRL…when PRL rushes forward and punches Cuban Wall in the face! COLE --now! PRL punches Wall several times, but the punches have no effect on the big man! Cuban Wall enters the ring over the top ring rope and starts punching PRL himself! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall engage in a slugfest in the ring while the crowd goes wild! COLE Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican duking it out 2 weeks before The Great Angle Bash! COACH Get ‘im, Wall! Get ‘im! COLE Could PRL be thinking about the Lethal Rumble Match? Could he be thinking about when Cuban Wall eliminated him to get the $1 million bounty on his head? (CLIP) Back and forth the two former allies go. However, soon Cuban Wall starts gaining the advantage! He starts punching PRL repeatedly in the face weakening the already weakened World Champion! (CLIP) PRL is unable to get anymore punches in on Wall, but Wall is able to punch PRL as often as he wants to! The crowd boos loudly! Cuban Wall knees PR in the stomach, and then hits him with CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. (CLIP) Cuban Wall clubs PRL in the back of the neck a few more times. He then shoves PRL aside…and then grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt off of the mat. Wall readies himself…and then charges forward… COLE Oh no. …Cuban Wall hits Tha Puerto Rican right in the face with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt! Tha Puerto Rican turns inside out before dropping onto the mat! The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall laughs manically. COACH YES! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been laid out by Cuban Wall! Again! COACH He’s doomed at The Great Angle Bash! Straight up DOOMED, yo! Cuban Wall continues laughing manically. Wall taunts the fans. COLE Cuban Wall has left a message for Tha Puerto Rican here tonight! COACH And that message is: that belt is MINE in 10 days time! I SO cannot wait for the start of the Cuban Wall Era here in the OAOAST! It is LONG overdue! Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air. The crowd boos louder than before. Wall parades around the ring holding the belt with Tha Puerto Rican’s name on the nameplate while Tha Puerto Rican lies on the mat spread-eagle, knocked unconscious. COLE Is this a look into the future? Is Cuban Wall the next OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion? COACH Yes! Yes! Oh Hell Yes! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall looks at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt with a serious expression on his face. He then chuckles. Cuban Wall drops the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt onto Tha Puerto Rican’s face. CUBAN WALL 10 more days, buddy! Cuban Wall laughs manically admist a LOUD chorus of boos. He continues laughing as he exits the ring over the top ring rope. Wall starts walking up the entrance ramp, making sure to not touch any of the fans as he does so. Tha Puerto Rican is still unconscious on the mat, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on top of his face. (CLIP) Cuban Wall continues walking up the entrance ramp with a cocky smirk on his face. The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall chuckles, and then goes back to having a cocky smirk on his face as he nears the entrance doors. Tha Puerto Rican is still lying on the mat spread-eagle and unconscious, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on top of his face. The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican’s OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt-covered face while the crowd continues booing loudly. "Gratitude" by the Beastie Boys starts playing. We hear Cuban Wall speaking from the June 26, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~! while we see a montage of clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action, both as enemies and as friends. CUBAN WALL So it has finally happened. I finally get a shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. This Sunday at The Great Angle Bash I get what should have been mine a LONG time ago! And they are calling this match 'Good Friends, Bitter Enemies'. Heh. Cute. Not exactly my first choice for a tagline, but then again, I am not one of the marketing geniuses of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. But you know something, P.R.? It's more than that. Yeah, it goes beyond that. Because you know what, P.R.? You've changed. You are not the same fearless man that you used to be. You are not the same ballsy talented competitor who kicked ass and won title after title! Oh no! You are not the same guy that led The Lightning Crew for four incredible years and could have led it for many more. No, instead, you are weak. You are pathetic. You are soft. You have lost what made you great. You are a shell of your former self. It is sad to see you play to these idiots, make them your world. You didn't used to care about the fans! What the hell happened!? But it's okay. It's all right, because Cuban Wall is your remedy. He's gonna bring you back! Back to the Promised Land! I'm like Jimmy Jones! 'Bring me my children!' And PRL, you are one of them. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking from the June 26, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. THA PUERTO RICAN A No Holds Barred Match against the 6'7" 285 pound Cuban Wall. You know, everybody is wondering, 'PRL, that really isn't your style! Aren't you a little bit worried?' You know something? First, everybody told me that an Ultimate X Match with my career on the line was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong! THEN, everybody told me that a match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at the biggest show of the year in front of over 100,000-plus fans at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California with a biased referee officiating was not...my...style! And I PROVED them wrong AGAIN! THEN, everybody told me that a Triple Threat Match against two of the most talented wrestlers in the world today for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship was not...my...style! And I PROVED them WRONG AGAIN! I have PROVED my diversity to Spanish Fly! I have PROVED my diversity to Stephen Joseph Popick! I have PROVED my diversity to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix AND "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez! I have PROVED my diversity to everybody else in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And NOW, everybody is telling me that fighting is not...my...style! Well, incase you haven't gotten it by now: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO! I've got news for you: MY STYLE IS WHATEVER IT WANTS TO BE! *Good times gone and you missed them* Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall celebrating their victories at OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone on April 1, 2007. *What's Gone Wrong In Your System* Cuban Wall clotheslining the back of Tha Puerto Rican's neck from the November 30, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. *Things they bounce just like a Spalding* Cuban Wall hitting Tha Puerto Rican with The Lightning Crew Splash. *What'd you think did you miss your calling* Cuban Wall winning the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match at OAOAST Anglepalooza 2008. *It's so free this kind of feeling* Tha Puerto Rican celebrating his OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship victory at OAOAST AngleMania VII. *It's like life it's so appealing* Tha Puerto Rican posing for the fans, his Lightning Bolts. *When you've got so much to say It's called gratitude And that's right* Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall brawling on the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, followed by Cuban Wall hitting Tha Puerto Rican with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt, followed by Tha Puerto Rican lying unconscious with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on top of his face. As "Gratitude" by the Beastie Boys continues playing, we cut to Cuban Wall speaking from the June 26, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. As he speaks, we see another montage of clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall, both as friends and as enemies. CUBAN WALL (CONT'D) This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to get what I SHOULD have gotten at AngleMania VII! This match is really 3 months overdue, P.R.! Well, good things come to those who wait and this Sunday the waiting will end. No Holds Barred. That's right, NO HOLDS BARRED! I DO TO YOU WHATEVER I WANT TO DO! You have never beaten a man of my size on your own! You have never won a match like this without The Lightning Crew! YOU HAVE NEVER WON A DAMN THING IN YOUR ENTIRE CAREER WITHOUT SOMEONE'S HELP! And P.R., you won't have ANY help this Sunday night! THIS WILL BE A FIGHT! MANO-E-MANO! WHO'S THE TOUGHEST!? WHO'S THE BADDEST!? NO HOLDS BARRED! And you know something, PRL? You are treading in water where only the big boys can play! And I am the biggest boy in the game right now! This Sunday night, I am going to show the world that you needed The Lightning Crew to survive in the wrestling business! I am going to show the world that without The Lightning Crew you cannot hack it! I am going to show the world this Sunday that everything you got you got because of me, or Mr. Boricua, or Vitamin X, or The Bone Thug, or Thomas Rodriguez, or anyone else in The Lightning Crew! This Sunday night, the whole world will see just how much of a weakling, just how much of a FRAUD, just how much of a LOSER you really are! Pay-per-view, The Great Angle Bash 2008, PRL, you are looking at the next One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Champion! Cut to Tha Puerto Rican speaking from the June 26, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. As he speaks, we see one more montage of clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall, both as friends and as enemies. THA PUERTO RICAN (CONT'D) This Sunday night, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at The Great Angle Bash 2008, in the No Holds Barred Match, I will show you Cuban Wall just how great I truly am! I am going to show you just how overrated The Lightning Crew was and how USELESS they really were to me! This Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, I am going to show you, The Lightning Bolts, and the WHOLE WORLD THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION! THAT I AM THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE! And that I AM THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING AND THE GREATEST PUERTO RICAN ATHLETE IN THE WORLD TODAY! In Minneapolis, Cuban Wall, you are going to find out just how much of a USELESS LACKEY you were to me when I WHOOP your 6'7" 285 pound fat ass all over the Target Center! Cuban Wall, watch out for the lightning strikes, because this Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, you will suffer a P.R. Nightmare after I layeth the smacketh down on your candy ass! And that's the truth, Ruth! We see clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action. We see them as friends. We see them as enemies. COLE You wanna talk about No Holds Barred? You wanna talk about a fight to the finish? COACH Cuban Wall is the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! I just know it! The montage continues playing. We see more clips of Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall in action. We see more of them as friends. We see more of them as enemies. As "Gratitude" by the Beastie Boys comes to an end, we hear from Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall one more time. CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You throwing some kind of idle threats!? I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) You, my 'friend', are going to fail! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) I've got you right where I want you! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) JUST BRING IT! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You ain't even in my league! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) It's put up or shut up time! CUBAN WALL (V.O.) You are going to get BROKEN! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I'm gonna make you BLEED! Cut to Cuban Wall laughing manically as Tha Puerto Rican lies unconscious on the mat with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on top of his face while the crowd boos loudly from the June 19, 2008 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. "Gratitude" by the Beastie Boys ends. We fade out on a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat unconscious with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt lying on top of his face in black and white as a heart beats. The video package for Tha Puerto Rican/Cuban Wall No Holds Barred Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 ends. The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. A single drumbeat plays. The crowd is confused by this. Then a guitar riff that is familiar to some of the fans is heard all over the arena. “I AM IRON MAN!” The fans are confused, as nobody on the roster has this for a theme song. As “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath begins playing, the fans are still wondering just who this theme song belongs to. Strobe lights cover the entrance set, while smoke fills the entrance stage. The fans continue wondering who is coming out. But the wondering ends as soon as Cuban Wall steps out onto the entrance stage through the smoke. The crowd starts booing loudly. Wall has a cocky smile on his face as he looks at the fans, highly unusual for him. Wall pumps his right fist into the air, and then proceeds to walk across the entrance ramp, his eyes looking all around the arena, with a cocky smirk on his face. *Has he lost his mind Can he see or is he blind Can he walk at all Or if he moves will he fall Is he alive or dead Has he thoughts within his head We'll just pass him there Why should we even care He was turned to steel In the great magnetic field When he traveled time For the future of mankind Nobody wants him He just stares at the world Planning his vengeance That he will soon unfurl* Cuban Wall is wearing a white Lightning Crew T-shirt for the first time in almost a year, in addition to his old black vest with a Cuban flag on the back, and “LIGHTNING CREW” written on the top in big white blocky letters, and “4-LIFE” written on the bottom of the vest in big white blocky letters. He is also, as usual, wearing a Cuban flag bandana on his head, sunglasses, gold chains around his neck, blue elbow pads, black wrist tape, black fingerless gloves, an earring in his right ear, long blue tights with “CUBA” written across the right leg in big white blocky letters, and red wrestling boots. His head is still shaved and he still has a black goatee too. COLE Cuban Wall is about to compete in the first OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship Match of his entire career! COACH It’s about damn time! Cuban Wall chuckles as he continues his walk to the ring. *Now the time is here For Iron Man to spread fear Vengeance from the grave Kills the people he once saved Nobody wants him They just turn their heads Nobody helps him Now he has his revenge Heavy boots of lead Fills his victims full of dread Running as fast as they can Iron Man lives again!* *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is one-half of the double main event of OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 and is a No Holds Barred Match for the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 pounds. He is the former Muscle for The Lightning Crew/Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation. a former One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, AND the Winner of the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match…CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall ignores the booing fans as he gets closer to the ring. COLE Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican at one time were close friends. But now, they are bitter enemies. COACH This company ain’t big enough for the both of them, and after tonight, I think one of them will take a LONG vacation…because of all of the injuries he has suffered from this match! COLE This is a No Holds Barred Match! No disqualifications, no countouts, no rope breaks. This is a fight to the finish! THERE MUST BE A WINNER! COACH And the winner will be 6’7” and weigh in at 285 pounds! COLE Or maybe the winner will be 5’9” and weigh in at 220 pounds? COACH Nah. It’s lights out for his Title reign after tonight! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit, and then enters Ring One over the top ring rope. Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air to LOUD boos, but he doesn’t let the booing hurt him. COACH And look at that. Cuban Wall is wearing his LIGHTNING CREW T-shirt again! AND his LIGHTNING CREW vest too! COLE Perhaps a form of symbolism? Cuban Wall is trying to prove a point here tonight. Not only is he looking to become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, but he also wants to show Tha Puerto Rican that he NEEDS The Lightning Crew to survive in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! COACH And he does! When Tha Puerto Rican led The Lightning Crew, how many matches did he win on his own? COLE Uh…um… COACH EXACTLY! Thereby proving Cuban Wall’s point! COLE He hasn’t proven his point yet, Coach. Until the bell rings and Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt, his point HASN’T been proven yet! But it might be proven tonight as Cuban Wall looks to snag the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! And he is going to do it against the man whose group he was in for FOUR years! COACH If you ask me, Wall should have been the leader of The Lightning Crew all along. COLE Cuban Wall didn’t seem to mind serving Tha Puerto Rican all those years. COACH That’s because PRL would never let him speak! If he spoke, you would hear all of the frustration coming out! COLE Eh…somehow I don’t believe that. Cuban Wall stands in the middle of Ring One. He makes an “L” with his arms -- The Lightning Crew Salute! The crowd boos. Pyro shoots out from the four ring posts in addition to from the ceiling. Cuban Wall has a smirk on his face. COLE Cuban Wall doing The Lightning Crew Salute now! COACH He is REALLY trying to rub it in to Tha Puerto Rican tonight at The Great Angle Bash! COLE But will it work? Will the mind games distract Tha Puerto Rican and take him off of his “A” game? Or will Cuban Wall’s comments last Thursday night on HeldDOWN~! fire up the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and drive him to defeat his BIGGEST opponent yet to date? COACH Your inspirational comments are great! It makes it even better when Tha Puerto Rican inevitably fails! Makes it all the more sweeter to see him lose! I love it! COLE Oh come on! Cuban Wall jaws with the fans as “Iron Man” continues playing. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands into the air to LOUD boos from the fans. Wall gives the fans the “Up yours!” hand gesture. He laughs evilly on the turnbuckle. CW then gets off of the second turnbuckle and chuckles some more. COLE It is rare for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion to be the underdog in a match, but in this case, you have to believe that PRL is the underdog! A No Holds Barred Match against the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall, a man that he has NEVER beaten, AND the man who eliminated him to win the 2008 Lethal Rumble Match! COACH PRL’s back is against the Wall! No pun intended! COLE Oy vey. Cuban Wall shadow boxes a bit as “Iron Man” continues playing. COLE This will be the first ever one-on-one meeting between Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall if you don’t count that BOGUS match that the two had back on Thanksgiving in 2006. COACH Yeah! That was great! ‘The Conspiracy’! I remember that! But that was a different time! PRL was more focused back then! COLE I think he is more focused now! COACH What makes you say that? COLE He IS the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion now, Coach. COACH BAH! He got lucky! He got lucky at AngleMania VII, and he got lucky at School’s Out! Tonight, his luck runs out! Tonight, the belt goes to the man it SHOULD have gone to at AngleMania VII! THIS is Cuban Wall’s night…it may be 3 months overdue, but tonight IS his night! “Iron Man” by Black Sabbath dies down. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for Tha Puerto Rican’s entrance. Cuban Wall stands in Ring One and looks to the entrance. COLE We are just moments away from the arrival of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! COACH For now, Michael. For now. Cuban Wall paces back and forth inside of ring 1. He has a cocky smirk on his face. COLE There’s no telling what Cuban Wall is going to do in this type of match-up with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title on the line. COACH Hopefully, everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Cuban Wall stands in the center of Ring One with his hands on his hips and a cocky smirk on his face. “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and “Know Your Role 2000” begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down inside of the arena. PR is heard saying, “THE CHAMP IS HERE!” in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks across the entrance ramp, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused solely on Cuban Wall. PRL is more intense than he usually is, his face sporting a cold expression. PRL now has a shaved head with a line down the middle. He also has a little facial hair underneath his chin. He has the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt strapped around his waist. Tha Puerto Rican throws up a “Killa B” to his fans as he walks to the rings. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorrrrlllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! The Badd Boy of the OAOAST. THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican removes his black vest and then throws it onto the entrance ramp while looking at Cuban Wall, who has an evil smile on his face. He then unstraps the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and throws it onto the entrance ramp. PRL then charges at full speed towards Ring One, leaping OVER the top ring rope and hitting Cuban Wall with a shoulderblock that DOESN’T knock him down but DOES cause him to stagger backwards into the ropes! COLE PRL draws first blood before the bell rings! COACH No he doesn’t! Pipe down! Tha Puerto Rican gets back to his feet just as Cuban Wall charges towards him with a clothesline! Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, turns around, and nails Cuban Wall with a left jab! Then another left jab! Then another! Cuban Wall hits PRL with a punch! Then another punch! Then another punch! The two men engage in a slugfest! The lights go back on inside of the arena. Referee Earl Hebner calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* “Good Friends, Bitter Enemies” NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH FOR THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP THA PUERTO RICAN (Champion) vs. CUBAN WALL (Challenger) “Know Your Role 2000” dies down as Cuban Wall and Tha Puerto Rican continue their slugfest! COLE And here we go! The World Title Match is underway here at The Great Angle Bash 2008! Both Cuban Wall and PRL lay into each other! Cuban Wall goes for a shot. Tha Puerto Rican ducks, jumps up, and nails Cuban Wall right in the face! He punches Wall some more, dazing the big man. Wall goes for another punch, Tha Puerto Rican ducks it, jumps up, and hits Wall with another punch! COACH What the hell man!? COLE Tha Puerto Rican hammering away at the 6’7” big man! Tha Puerto Rican nails Cuban Wall with several Rock-style punches to the temple--but Cuban Wall stops that by kneeing PRL in the stomach, causing him to collapse onto the mat! COACH That’s better. COLE That huge 285 pound monster turning things around right there with that knee to the gut! Cuban Wall stops to catch his breath. He checks to make sure that he isn’t bleeding. The crowd boos. PRL is already on the mat coughing. PRL struggles to get up, so Cuban Wall helps him by grabbing Puerto by his shaved head and slamming his face into the top turnbuckle pad! Wall taunts P.R. He then grabs Puerto by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle. Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks by grabbing the top turnbuckle and jumping up, just in time as Cuban Wall charges forward, and he too stops in his tracks by grabbing the top turnbuckle! Unfortunately for Wall, when he turns around, Tha Puerto Rican is waiting for him with a dropkick that sends Cuban Wall OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Cuban Wall has been knocked over the top rope by Tha Puerto Rican! COACH FLUKE! FLUKE! FLUKE! Cuban Wall lands on his left knee. Meanwhile, Tha Puerto Rican finally removes his black chaps and throws them aside. Seeing Cuban Wall getting up, PRL rushes into action running backwards into the ropes so that he can get full speed so that he can hit Cuban Wall with a baseball slide that knocks him down onto the ground! COLE He got him again! He got him again! COACH NO! Cuban Wall takes a little bit slower to get up this time. While he gets up, Tha Puerto Rican exits Ring One and climbs the top turnbuckle. COLE What’s he going to do here? COACH No way he’ll make it! PRL is hunched over on the top turnbuckle. When the time is right, PR jumps off of the top rope…and hits Cuban Wall with a MOONSAULT TOPE right onto Cuban Wall taking him down again! COLE Three in a row! Three in a row! COACH SHUT UP! The crowd is going wild! PRL hammers away at Cuban Wall’s head on the outside! COACH BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP! COLE He can’t, Coach! IT’S NO HOLDS BARRED! COACH Drats! Tha Puerto Rican stops hammering away at Cuban Wall’s head. He slides into Ring One underneath the bottom rope and then slides out of Ring One underneath the bottom rope, continuing his sliding into Ring Two underneath the bottom rope. He then slides out of Ring Two underneath the bottom rope. He then goes over to Sofa Central and grabs Jonathan Coachman’s right foot! COACH HEY! WHAT THE HELL!? THA PUERTO RICAN Sorry! I need this! PRL takes off Coach’s right shoe and walks with it! COACH THAT BASTARD! THAT THIEF! HE JUST STOLE MY SHOE! THIS MAN IS OUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!? WHAT THE HELL MAN!? COLE PRL took your shoe! COACH I KNOW! DUDE’S CRAZY! Tha Puerto Rican climbs up onto the ring apron of Ring One with Coach’s right shoe. He then climbs the top rope, shoe in hand. PRL waits for Cuban Wall to get up. When he does, Tha Puerto Rican jumps off of the top rope and nails Cuban Wall with Coach’s right shoe knocking Wall down! COLE He just used your shoe as a weapon! COACH AGAINST Cuban Wall! You think I’m happy about that!? HELL NO! PRL throws the shoe out of the ring. COACH HEY! If you’re gonna steal my shoe, at least give it back! COLE He stole it. Do you really think he would give it back? COACH For me he damn well better! What a degenerate we have for a World Heavyweight Champion! Leaving me with one less shoe out in here! My right foot could be infected! I could get Athlete’s Foot! This floor IS sticky after all! COLE Oh, will you stop!? Tha Puerto Rican paces back and forth, annoyed. He then covers Wall. 1... 2... LEFT SHOULDER UP!!! COLE Close fall, but the match continues! COACH Good! COLE I would think the smell of that shoe would knock out Wall for the whole night! COACH Bite me, Michael! PRL glances over at the referee. He then picks Cuban Wall up. PRL drags Wall by his shaved head over to a turnbuckle corner, where he proceeds to slam Cuban Wall’s face into the top turnbuckle pad! COACH COME ON WALL! PRL grabs Wall by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite turnbuckle corner. Cuban Wall hits the turnbuckle back-first HARD! Tha Puerto Rican readies himself, and then rushes forward, jumping up, and crashing into Cuban Wall with a Stinger Splash! P.R. taunts Wall, and then grabs Wall by his left hand, whipping him into the opposite turnbuckle corner--NO!--Cuban Wall reverses, PRL is sent into the opposite turnbuckle corner where he does a Flair Flip, landing on the ring apron! However, Cuban Wall charges forward, hitting P.R. with a double axehandle which knocks him off of the ring apron and onto the barricade! The crowd boos! Cuban Wall smiles evilly! COLE Oh my! Tha Puerto Rican knocked out of Ring One by Cuban Wall! COACH That did it! PRL lies face down on the protective mats, breathing heavily. Cuban Wall takes a second to catch his breath. He checks his face to make sure that he isn’t bleeding. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Tha Puerto Rican’s Moonsault Tope onto Cuban Wall again. COLE Tha Puerto Rican struck first, but right now, Cuban Wall is very much in control of this match! COACH Where he will remain for the rest of this match! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall exits Ring One over the top ring rope. He calmly walks over to PRL as P.R. starts crawling around the ringside area. Wall grabs Puerto by his head, removing his Puerto Rican flag bandana in the process. Wall punches PRL right in the face with a right jab! PR collapses onto the protective mats! Cuban Wall chuckles. The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows PRL’s Flair Flip followed by Cuban Wall’s double axehandle sending PRL into the barricade. COLE Cuban Wall taking his time. COACH He can afford to. There are no rules, he’s big, PRL’s little, why wouldn’t he want to!? Cuban Wall grabs Tha Puerto Rican and throws him back into Ring One. He then enters the ring himself, once again over the top ring rope. Cuban Wall grabs PR and hits him with some CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms that knock PR down onto the mat! COACH Well as long as Cuban Wall can dictate the pace, Cole, he’ll be in control and he’ll be the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall sneers at the crowd. COACH Oh, you people aren’t having any effect on Cuban Wall! Stop trying! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He punches him in the face, knocking him down onto the mat! PRL is now breathing heavily. He slowly crawls to his side and then goes to grab the ropes…but is stopped by Cuban Wall! Wall picks PRL up, holds him up by his right hand, and then hits him with a short-armed clothesline knocking PRL down! COLE Short-armed clothesline from the challenger! COACH Who will soon be the Champion! Cuban Wall stops to pose, causing the crowd to boo LOUDLY! Wall responds with an “Up yours!” gesture! He then picks PRL up and scoops him up into a fallaway slam position. Cuban Wall runs into a turnbuckle corner, slamming PR’s back against the turnbuckles. Wall then runs into the opposite turnbuckle corner, slamming PRL’s back against the turnbuckles again! Wall then runs into the turnbuckle corner nearest to him, and once again slams PRL’s back against the turnbuckles. Finally, Cuban Wall rushes into the only turnbuckle corner he hasn’t hit yet, but he does now, slamming P.R.’s back against the turnbuckles. PRL lets out a blood curling scream! Wall then rushes forward and gives PRL a powerslam onto the mat! Wall goes for the cover. 1... 2... KICK OUT!!! Cuban Wall sneers at the referee. He then picks the dazed Puerto Rican up. Cuban Wall scoops Puerto onto his right shoulder. He then charges forward, throwing PRL off of his right shoulder, and PRL lands, chin-first, onto the top turnbuckle pad! PRL bounces off of the turnbuckle pad onto the mat! COLE Snake Eyes from Cuban Wall! CUBAN WALL LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE LIGHTNING BOLTS! COACH HA! HA! Earl Hebner checks on PRL’s condition. PRL responds with, “Get the fuck away from me.” Cuban Wall calmly walks over and picks Tha Puerto Rican up again. He sends PRL into a turnbuckle corner. CUBAN WALL HEY LIGHTNING BOLTS! LOOK AT YOUR HERO NOW! Cuban Wall knees PRL in the stomach! He then does it again! And again! COLE Cuban Wall is taunting the fans now! He feels like he has Tha Puerto Rican right where he wants him! COACH That’s because he does, Michael. That’s because he does. Cuban Wall chokes Tha Puerto Rican with his bare hands! COLE Cuban Wall just sucking the life out of the World Heavyweight Champion! COACH Good! Good! Good! Wall stops choking P.R. PRL slumps down onto the mat, with only the top ring rope keeping him from falling flat on his face. PRL grabs ahold of Cuban Wall’s shirt to pull himself up. Wall just watches and shakes his head. P.R. crawls on his knees across the ring until Cuban Wall grabs him by his head and sets him back up onto his feet. COACH Tha Puerto Rican is giving up 65 lbs. in this match-up! Cole, he doesn’t have a chance! Cuban Wall picks Tha Puerto Rican up. COACH Look, he picked him up like a feather! Cuban Wall parades around the ring while holding PRL’s body in his right hand. He then spins around, jumps up, and then jumps down, giving PRL a sidewalk slam HARD onto the mat! Wall chuckles as he sits up. CUBAN WALL Too easy. Too easy. COLE Cuban Wall made the match No Holds Barred! This is what he wanted! COACH And things are going Wall’s way right now! I love it! Cuban Wall stands up and removes the black wrist tape from his right wrist. He then chokes out Earl Hebner with the wrist tape! COLE Wait a minute! What the--what the hell!? What is he doing? Why? COACH When you’re 6’7” 285 pounds, you can do anything you want! COLE We said that this would be No Holds Barred, but we didn’t mean this! COACH Yes, we did. Cuban Wall continues choking Earl Hebner, and then simply throws him onto the mat! He throws the black wrist tape aside and then walks over to Earl Hebner. COACH Well, we said No Disqualifications, Cole! COLE Yeah, but this is taking it too far! He’s just a referee for crying out loud! COACH Do it all, Cuban Wall! Do it all, baby! Cuban Wall takes off Earl Hebner’s leather belt! With a sick smile on his face, Cuban Wall walks over to where PRL is lying, the leather belt covering his left hand. PRL is on his hands and knees, so Wall whips PRL’s back, bringing him back down onto the mat! COLE PRL just got struck with a leather belt! COACH Again! Again! Again! Both Earl Hebner and Tha Puerto Rican are slowly starting to get up. So, Cuban Wall whips PRL’s back again with the leather belt! PRL falls back down onto the mat! COLE Cuban Wall adding insult to injury! COACH No, he’s adding injury to insult right now! Come on! Wear him out! Ruin his life! Cuban Wall laughs as he watches PRL struggle to move. He then places the belt around PRL’s throat and starts choking him with it! COLE Oh come on! This is too much! Come on now! This is too much! COACH This is the best PRL match EVER! Cuban Wall steps on PRL’s back as he chokes PRL with Earl Hebner’s belt! PRL gasps for air! Earl Hebner tries to tell Cuban Wall to stop, but there’s not much he can do in a No Holds Barred Match! The crowd is going nuts, worried for The People’s Champion! COLE This has gone too far! This is crossing the line! COACH Well, then go and stop it, Cole! Or are you going to sit there and do nothing? Thought so. Cuban Wall stops choking PRL, but the leather belt is still wrapped around P.R.’s throat. That is so that Cuban Wall can pick PRL up using the leather strap, and then run with him towards the ring ropes, throwing PRL over the top rope! Cuban Wall hangs PRL over the top ring rope! COACH Hang in there, P.R.! HA! HA! HA! PRL struggles to breathe and flails his arms around. Cuban Wall ties the belt around the second ring rope. PRL tries in vain to get the belt off of his throat as Cuban Wall exits Ring One over the top ring rope. Earl Hebner tries to get Wall to untie Tha Puerto Rican, but Cuban Wall lunges after the referee, and the referee falls on his ass as a result. Wall calmly walks over to Michael Buffer…and shoves him off of his chair! COACH Good! I’ve been wanting to do that for years! COLE Now what!? CW grabs Michael Buffer’s steel chair and folds it up. Knowing full well that he has the match in his control, Cuban Wall casually walks on over with the steel chair in his left hand to where Tha Puerto Rican is struggling to remove the leather strap from around his neck. Seeing Tha Puerto Rican’s back turned, Wall readies himself…and SLAMS the steel chair right across the back of PRL! COLE Oh my! COACH Oh yes! Earl Hebner finally decides that he’s seen enough and goes to untie PRL himself. He succeeds in doing so as Cuban Wall just watches this from the outside with the steel chair in his left hand. Finally free, PRL slumps down onto the mat and rolls into Ring One underneath the bottom ring rope. Cuban Wall slides the steel chair underneath the bottom ring rope, and then enters the ring over the top ring rope while the OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cuban Wall throwing PRL over the top ring rope and hanging him from the second ring rope. COLE When was the last time PRL had any offense in this match? COACH Like 10-15 minutes ago! HA! HA! Cuban Wall picks up the steel chair and poses with it, drawing LOUD boos. PRL is slowly crawling around the ring. He slowly starts to get up. COACH Finish him off! Ruin his life, Cuban Wall! Ruin his life! Tha Puerto Rican slowly gets to a vertical base…and then is slammed in the back with the steel chair by Cuban Wall, which sends him back down flat on the mat again! COLE Oh no! COACH THAT’S FOR STEALING HIS TITLE SHOT AT ANGLEMANIA VII, P.R.! Tha Puerto Rican turns onto his back, his eyes glazed over. He is sweating, breathing hard, and groggy. Cuban Wall stands tall over PRL with the steel chair in his left hand. He motions for PRL to get back to his feet. COACH MAN WHAT AN ASSKICKING! I LOVE IT! P.R. crawls towards the ropes as Cuban Wall continues motioning for him to get up. P.R. uses the top and second ring ropes to pull himself up. Eventually, Puerto uses the top ring rope to get back to a vertical base. Cuban Wall winds up and takes a swing… COACH Blast him! …PRL moves out of the way… …the steel chair hits the top ring rope and ricochets back into Cuban Wall’s face! Cuban Wall stumbles and then falls on his ass on the mat, dropping the steel chair on the mat also! “YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH AW CRAP! COLE PRL escaped the chairshot just in the nick of time! COACH No! No! No! Get up Wall! GET UP! HE STOLE MY SHOE! GET HIM! Cuban Wall sits on the mat, a little dazed. Tha Puerto Rican slowly sits on his hands and knees, and then begins crawling to the ropes. But he stops when he sees the steel chair lying right next to him. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what PRL does next. And indeed, Tha Puerto Rican grabs the steel chair. COLE PRL has the chair! Tha Puerto Rican has the chair! COACH Look out, Wall! PRL uses the steel chair to push himself back onto his feet. Cuban Wall is slowly getting up. Wall is on his left knee. PRL raises the steel chair over his head as Cuban Wall is on his knees. COACH GET THAT CHAIR AWAY FROM HIM REFEREE! PRL swings the chair-- LOWBLOW ON THA PUERTO RICAN! The crowd groans. Tha Puerto Rican collapses onto the mat, dropping the steel chair! THA PUERTO RICAN MY NUTS! Both Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall are kissing the canvas. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” “P.R.!” COLE The 20,000-plus in attendance all rooting for Tha Puerto Rican to retain his OAOAST World Heavyweight Title! COACH They can’t help him in a No Holds Barred Match, Cole! They’re useless…more so than usual! Cuban Wall is up first. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his left hand and then whips him into the opposite ropes. He follows that up with a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK Body Drop that sends PRL flying into the air before crashing onto the mat! Wall sneers at the crowd while Earl Hebner checks on PR’s condition. THA PUERTO RICAN I told you, get the fuck away from me! Cuban Wall calmly walks over and turns PRL onto his back. He then covers Puerto. Earl Hebner counts. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE It’s not over! COACH DAMNIT! Cuban Wall is slightly annoyed that that wasn’t the finish. PRL has a sneer on his face as he sits up, his eyes glazed over. COLE Tha Puerto Rican won’t quit! COACH He will in a few seconds! Cuban Wall gets up, and simply squeezes PRL’s head! COLE Look at this! COACH Twist it off! COLE I think a lesser competitor would have just given up on that last pin attempt. COACH Is it over if Tha Puerto Rican gives up? COLE Of course it is! It’s pin or submission, the only 2 ways you can win this match! Cuban Wall continues squeezing PRL’s head. Earl Hebner checks on Tha Puerto Rican, who is quickly losing whatever energy he had left. “P.R.!” “P.R.!” Tha Puerto Rican feeds from the energy of the crowd. He starts stomping his feet. His fists are clenched. The crowd gets louder and louder. COACH I bet PRL wishes the past year or so never happened right now! COLE I bet PRL is GLAD that the past year or so happened! COACH Not right now he is! Look at him! Being squished by Cuban Wall! Last year at this time, Cuban Wall was doing the squishing *for* him! PRL starts shaking, while his head continues being squeezed by Cuban Wall. P.R. turns to his side. He then gets to his left knee. He then stands, slightly bent over though. PRL then uses Cuban Wall’s giant gut to push himself a few inches away from the big man. PRL then punches Cuban Wall in the gut! He then does it again! And again! Cuban Wall shoves PRL off of him…but PRL holds onto Wall’s Lightning Crew T-shirt and punches him in the gut again! He punches Wall in the gut once more, before Wall shoves PRL onto the mat! PRL rolls through and gets back to his feet, only to get knocked back down with a Cuban Wall punch! Still, Tha Puerto Rican gets back up, and once again, he gets punched right in the face, taking him back down to the mat! But AGAIN, PRL stands up, and this time walks right into a Cuban Wall punch which sends the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion through the ropes and onto the floor! COLE PRL has taken a severe beating in this match-up! COACH And it’s about to get worse! Cuban Wall sneers at the crowd. The crowd boos loudly. PRL grabs onto the ring apron of Ring One to pull himself back to his feet. As he does this, Cuban Wall exits Ring One over the top ring rope. COLE There’s no countout, ladies and gentlemen! You win the match by pinfall or submission! COACH They heard you the first time, Michael! Shut up with it already! Cuban Wall slowly walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is lying near Ring Two. Wall does The Lightning Crew Salute, drawing boos! COLE And look at this! Look at this 6’7” 285 pound monster! COACH Uh-oh! PRL is in trouble now! COLE Cuban Wall dominating the match-up thus far with P.R.! What’s he going to do with him? Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He says something to PRL while pointing a menacing finger at him…and then clutches his throat in a GOOZLE~! COLE No! No! No! Cuban Wall has PRL in his grasp, The Great One struggling to breathe. The crowd is anxious, worried for PR. Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he grabs Tha Puerto Rican and lifts him up high into the air. He holds Puerto in the air for a few seconds, taking him over to Sofa Central… …WHERE HE PROCEEDS TO CHOKESLAM THA PUERTO RICAN THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd is shocked! PRL lies in the wreckage of what *used* to be the announce table! The two monitors lie on top of PRL, as do various papers and Michael Cole and Da Coach’s headsets. PRL’s eyes are closed and he is breathing hard. Michael Cole removes the monitors off of Tha Puerto Rican’s body. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the timekeeper’s table and walks with it into Ring Two, entering over the top ring rope. Cuban Wall raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his left hand, an evil smile on his face. This draws the loudest boos of the match so far. Michael Cole is still trying to take the pieces of the announce table off of PRL. Cuban Wall demands that Earl Hebner come over and strap the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. The Senior Referee of the OAOAST tells Wall that the match is still going on. CUBAN WALL He’s done! He’s finished! He’s got nothing left in him! He’s FINISHED! Cuban Wall yells at the referee to help him strap the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. As this is going on, Da Coach is helping Michael Cole pick up the remains of the announce table. At this point, Tha Puerto Rican finally starts moving his arms. He s l o w l y pulls himself up so that he is sitting down on the concrete. When he sees Jonathan Coachman picking up the pieces of the announce table, PRL pushes him away and gives him a dirty look. PR is slightly out of it, shaking, breathing hard, and mumbling. He also looks VERY irritated at what he just went through. The OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion finally gets up, but needs to hold on to the barricade to maintain his balance. Michael Cole tries to hold PRL up, but PRL shoves Cole away from him. PRL tries to stand up, but collapses, a piece of the broken table being the only thing preventing him from falling onto the concrete. THA PUERTO RICAN I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME! COLE LET IT BE OVER, P.R.! JUST LET IT BE OVER! Tha Puerto Rican uses the top of the barricade to pull himself back up to his feet. Now finally back on his own two feet, Tha Puerto Rican is PISSED OFF beyond belief! He shoves Michael Cole aside, and then power walks a few feet…before collapsing onto the protective mats. P.R. now crawls towards the ring. Cuban Wall is growing tired of waiting for PRL to get back into one of the rings, but gives the Champ a few more seconds to do so. When PRL still doesn’t come back into one of the rings, Wall decides to just go get him and bring him back into one of the rings himself. So, Cuban Wall walks towards the edge of Ring Two, and goes to grab Tha Puerto Rican-- --AND GETS HIT IN THE FACE WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER THAT’S BEEN DISCHARGED~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Cuban Wall covers his face and stumbles in the ring. PRL drops the fire extinguisher and takes a few moments to catch his breath. He then slides into Ring Two underneath the bottom rope. Cuban Wall is blinded thanks to the contents of the fire extinguisher, so he throws out punches, hoping to connect with PRL, but failing each and every time. But PRL *does* connect with his Rock-style punch to the temple! And his second one! And his third one! And his fourth one! Punch. Punch. Punch. NOW KISS THAT LEFT~! Punch! Cuban Wall does NOT go down, but he is woozy, so Tha Puerto Rican grabs Wall by his left hand and then gives him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes--Cuban Wall reverses, PRL charges forward, hits the opposite ropes, bounces off of the opposite ropes, charges forward, leaps up, and hits Cuban Wall with a Flying Forearm that knocks the big man down! Tha Puerto Rican and Cuban Wall both lie on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican KIPS UP~!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” PRL is FIRED UP, DAMNIT~! He is also PISSED OFF BEYOND BELIEF~! P.R., his face all red with ANGER, paces back and forth around the ring, getting the crowd pumped up. COLE We are back and Tha Puerto Rican is in control! Can Tha Puerto Rican do it? Can Tha Puerto Rican pull it out!? COACH N-O! NO! PRL exits Ring Two and goes over to Sofa Central where he grabs Jonathan “Da Coach” Coachman’s steel chair. COACH HEY! THIEF! PRL looks back at Coach. COACH (Pointing to Michael Cole) IT WAS HIM! HE’S THE ONE YOU WANT TO BEAT! PRL sneers at Coach, and then walks with the steel chair back into Ring Two. Cuban Wall has rolled out of Ring Two underneath the bottom ring rope and has rolled into Ring One underneath the bottom ring rope. PRL follows Wall into Ring One. Not wasting any more time, Tha Puerto Rican raises the steel chair over his head… *WHAM!* …and hits Cuban Wall over the head with it! COLE Now it’s PRL turn with the chair! COACH THAT’S MY CHAIR! YOU ASS! Cuban Wall stumbles, but doesn’t fall! So, PRL simply swings the steel chair again… *WHAM!* …and hits Cuban Wall over the head with it again! And this time, Cuban Wall DOES go down! Wall lies on the mat spread eagle. And a small cut has appeared on his forehead. COLE You got him down, P.R.! Cover him! Cover him! COACH Cuban Wall has got a cut! The man is bleeding! THE MAN IS BLEEDING! P.R. sees Cuban Wall laid out, and gets an idea. Quickly moving into action, PRL grabs Cuban Wall’s hands and drags him into the center of Ring One slowly. Once he’s done that, PRL then walks on over, talking trash the entire time, and stands over Cuban Wall. Then, he kicks Cuban Wall’s right hand onto his chest. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Oh no. Tha Puerto Rican removes his right elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then does some weird hand signals, and then charges backwards, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, leaps over Cuban Wall, charges forward, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward. COLE It is now time for the Most Electrifying Move In Professional Wrestling: The Puerto Rico Elbow! Tha Puerto Rican stops in his tracks, taunts Cuban Wall, and then drops The Puerto Rico Elbow onto Cuban Wall to a LOUD pop from the fans! COLE Puerto Rico Elbow! The Puerto Rico Elbow connects on Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican covers Cuban Wall, hooking his left leg. Earl Hebner counts. COACH NO! 1... 2... 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KICK OUT!!!!!! COLE No! Only 2! Only the count of 2! COACH Oh thank goodness! Thank goodness for that! The crowd is surprised that that wasn’t the finish! So, is PRL. But that just gets him even MORE angry than he already was. PRL stands up and thinks about what to do next. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has gotten a second wind here! COACH DO SOMETHING WALL! COME ON! IF ANYBODY CAN STOP PRL’S WORLD TITLE REIGN, IT’S YOU! COLE Can PRL pull off the upset here!? COACH NO HE CAN’T! HE’S GONNA CHOKE! CHOKE LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES! The OAOAST Starbucks™ Double Shot Instant Replay shows Cuban Wall Chokeslamming Tha Puerto Rican through the announce table. It then shows PRL using the fire extinguisher on Cuban Wall. Meanwhile, in real time, Tha Puerto Rican has picked Cuban Wall, who now has blood trickling down his face, up and has grabbed him by his left hand so that he can give him an Irish whip into the opposite ropes. Cuban Wall charges forward, hits the ropes, bounces off of the opposite ropes, and then charges forward. PRL puts his head down, so Cuban Wall stops in his tracks, grabs Tha Puerto Rican, lifts him up onto his left shoulder, and then holds him there for a few seconds…before dropping down to his knees, giving PRL a backbreaker in the process! The Wallbreaker! COLE Wallbreaker! Wallbreaker on Tha Puerto Rican! COACH HE DID IT! HE DID IT! WE GOT A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! WE GOT A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! The crowd is SHOCKED! Tha Puerto Rican drops onto the mat in tremendous pain! He holds his back and lets out a blood curling scream! Cuban Wall is still on his knees, smiling evilly as he looks down at the fallen Puerto Rican. The crowd boos loudly. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has been hit with the Wallbreaker! But Cuban Wall ISN’T going for the pin! COACH I think I know why! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! PRL is in SOOOO much trouble! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! Cuban Wall stands up tall. He looks down at Tha Puerto Rican with the same evil smile on his face. He looks at the crowd and laughs manically. COLE Who would have thought, after all these years, that we would see Cuban Wall doing the Wallbreaker on Tha Puerto Rican!? COACH I did. It was inevitable. COLE Oh will you stop!? Cuban Wall nods his head. He then rushes backwards into the ropes, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward, and then jumps up…and jumps down onto Tha Puerto Rican with all 285 pounds of him hitting The Latin Lion! The Lightning Crew Splash! COACH LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! IT’S OVER! IT’S FINALLY OVER! COLE Cuban Wall has hit The Lightning Crew Splash! That’s his move! Is this really the beginning of Cuban Wall’s World Heavyweight Championship reign!? Cuban Wall sits on his knees for one second to look down at Tha Puerto Rican and smile evilly. He then covers Tha Puerto Rican, not even bothering to hook his legs. Tha Puerto Rican is in horrible pain right now. The crowd boos loudly. Referee Earl Hebner counts. Cuban Wall counts along, blood covering his face. COLE Here is the cover! COACH YES! YES! YES! FINALLY! 1... 2... COACH YES! YES! YES! 2 ½ 2.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3--KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE OH MY GOD! COACH WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT!? COLE THA PUERTO RICAN KICKED OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! THA PUERTO RICAN HAS KICKED OUT OF THE LIGHTNING CREW SPLASH! COACH THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING! The crowd is shocked, but overjoyed! Cuban Wall is shocked, but ANGRY! He yells at Earl Hebner for his supposed “slow count”, but the referee insists that it was a fair count. Wall cannot believe that someone kicked out of The Lightning Crew Splash! He stands over Tha Puerto Rican speechless. COLE That’s the first time in Cuban Wall’s over four year career in the One And Only AngleSault Thread that somebody has kicked out of The Lightning Crew Splash! And the man who did it was the man who FORMED The Lightning Crew five years ago! COACH This can’t be happening! Oh God, this CANNOT BE HAPPENING! Tha Puerto Rican is shaking. PRL grits his teeth and shakes his fists. He sits up on the mat, the crowd getting more excited by the second! Cuban Wall just watches, still stunned that somebody kicked out of The Lightning Crew Splash. COLE This looks like PR’s *third* wind! COACH OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! OH NO! Cuban Wall shakes his head and then refocuses back on the match. A scowl appears on the big man’s face as he stands up. Wall curses Tha Puerto Rican. He grabs Tha Puerto Rican by his *neck* and then lifts him up to his feet. CW then grabs PR by his left hand and then whips him into the ropes. P.R. bounces off of the ropes. Cuban Wall goes for a clothesline, Tha Puerto Rican ducks the clothesline, rushes forward, hits the ropes, bounces off of the ropes, charges forward and then jumps up, nailing Cuban Wall with the Gamengiri which knocks him down! COLE Dodge THIS, BITCH~! COACH AAH! PRL quickly gets back up, a scowl now on *his* face. The crowd going nuts, PRL gives Cuban Wall a shaky leg kick before exiting Ring One and quickly climbing the top turnbuckle. COLE PRL is going up! COACH Oh dang it! Tha Puerto Rican removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then stands hunched over on the top rope. P.R. then stands up tall on the top rope. Tha Puerto Rican leaps off of the top rope, doing the “Up yours!” hand gesture in mid-air, and then crashes down onto Cuban Wall with his left elbow hitting Cuban Wall’s chest! The People’s Elbow Drop! COLE The People’s Elbow Drop! The People’s Elbow Drop on Cuban Wall! PRL immedialtey stands right back up and heads to a turnbuckle corner. Once there, he points at Cuban Wall…and then starts stomping his right foot ala Shawn Michaels. COACH Oh God, I hate this! COLE PRL is tuning up the band! Tha Puerto Rican continues stomping his right foot. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. PRL motions for Cuban Wall to get up. Cuban Wall slowly gets up to his feet. PRL is FUMING. Cuban Wall stands up. PRL stops stomping his right foot and then charges forward. Cuban Wall turns around… *KA-POW~!* …and gets kicked in the face with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111 COLE The Sweet Chin Music! The Sweet Chin Music connects on Cuban Wall! Cuban Wall is DOWN! COACH WALL GET UP! WALL GET UP! WALL GET UP NOW! Tha Puerto Rican jumps up and down in excitement. The crowd is getting louder by the second! Cuban Wall is still knocked down on the mat. Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. “THAT’S IT!” “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE ‘That’s it!’ The signal for the P.R. Nightmare! PRL is going for the finish! He wants to finish off Cuban Wall once and for all! COACH OH GOD! Tha Puerto Rican gets into his predator position for the P.R. Nightmare. Cuban Wall is still lying on the mat. The crowd is cheering loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN GET UP! COLE PR motioning for Wall to get up now! COACH LOOK OUT WALL! LOOK OUT! Cuban Wall starts moving his arms. He then turns to his side. PRL is still preparing for the P.R. Nightmare. COLE Come on, P.R.! Come on! COACH Hey! Shut up with that crap! Cuban Wall rolls over to his hands and knees. PRL is practically foaming at the mouth now. He is speaking through his teeth, yelling at Wall to get up. Cuban Wall gets to his left knee. The camera does a close-up of Tha Puerto Rican’s face as he watches Cuban Wall get up. Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, blood flowing down his face, and then pushes himself up. COACH PRL really did make Cuban Wall bleed! COLE He said that he would and he did! COACH AWWGHAHW! The crowd is at a fever pitch. Cuban Wall slowly rises back up to his feet. Wall is bent over, sucking wind. PR is nodding his head, feeling that the end is near. PRL motions for Wall to come close to him. COLE Here it comes! COACH OH NO! Cuban Wall stands up straight. He is now at a vertical base. Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, wipes some of the blood off of his face and checks it out, and then turns around… …right into a kick in the gut from Tha Puerto Rican! “YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican grabs Cuban Wall. “YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican applies a front facelock on Cuban Wall. “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican grabs ahold of Cuban Wall’s tights. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican looks at the crowd. He nods his head. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Using all of the energy that he has left, Tha Puerto Rican struggles…struggles…struggles to lift Cuban Wall off of the mat…but eventually gets Wall’s feet off of the mat…high enough so that he can drill Cuban Wall’s head right into the mat with the P.R. NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE P.R. Nightmare! The P.R. Nightmare on Cuban Wall! Tha Puerto Rican has given Cuban Wall the P.R. Nightmare! COACH OH GOD! Tha Puerto Rican takes a second to catch his breath, and then covers the bloodied Cuban Wall, hooking his right leg. Referee Earl Hebner counts. The crowd counts along. 1... 2... 2 ½ 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 MOTHERFUCKING 3~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111 *DING DING DING* (15:46) “YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Tha Puerto Rican does several fist pumps in succession! “Know Your Role 2000” starts playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican stands up and flips Cuban Wall off several times! THA PUERTO RICAN YEAH! YOU MOTHERFUCKER! THAT’S RIGHT! WHO’S THE MAN!? WHO’S THE MAN!? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! BOO-YAH~! IN YOUR FACE, MOTHERFUCKER! BUFFER Here is your winner…and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Champion of the Wooooorrrrlllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd! THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Tha Puerto Rican gives Cuban Wall an “Up yours!” hand gesture. THA PUERTO RICAN THIS IS MY HOUSE! NOT YOUR HOUSE! MY HOUSE! THIS IS MY HOUSE! I RULE THE SCHOOL! I RUN THIS BITCH, MOTHERFUCKER! ME! THAT’S WHO! MOTHERFUCKER! GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT OF MY FUCKING RING! GET TO STEPPING, BITCH! Cuban Wall lies on the mat in tremendous pain. He covers his head as he rolls out of Ring One. Cuban Wall stands up on his own two feet, and then walks up towards the steps to the entrance ramp. THA PUERTO RICAN BYE BYE PUNK! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE! GET TO STEPPING! YOU AIN’T WELCOME HERE NO MORE! I DON’T NEED YOUR CANDY ASS ANYMORE! GO! SKIDADDLE! VAMANOS! GET OUT OF HERE! Cuban Wall walks up the steps onto the entrance ramp. Once there, Wall takes a moment to catch his breath, crushed at his defeat. Cuban Wall takes a deep breath, wipes the blood off of his face, looks at it and grumbles, and then turns back to look at Tha Puerto Rican. PRL shoots him two middle fingers. Cuban Wall sneers at Tha Puerto Rican, and then turns back around, beginning the sad lonely walk on the entrance ramp back to the lockerroom without the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his procession. COLE Tha Puerto Rican didn’t win the match. He SURVIVED it! THA PUERTO RICAN GO MOTHERFUCKER! GO! GIVE ME MY FUCKING BELT! Cuban Wall lunges at a cameraman who gets too close to him on the entrance ramp. He then exits through the curtains. Earl Hebner hands Tha Puerto Rican the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. PRL grabs the belt, and then shoves Earl Hebner out of Ring One. This leaves Tha Puerto Rican all by himself inside of the ring to celebrate his victory with the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and his Lightning Bolts as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE Cuban Wall tried and came close to becoming World Heavyweight Champion for the first time in his career, but we all saw just how much heart Tha Puerto Rican has as he has defeated his biggest challenge to date to successfully RETAIN the OAOAST Championship for the second month in a row! COACH I am going to be sick. Excuse me. PRL slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. He points to it, screaming. THA PUERTO RICAN THIS IS MINE! THIS IS MY PROPERTY! YOU WANNA COME AND TRY TO TAKE IT!? COME ON! I DARE YA! I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA! COME ON AND GIVE ME YOUR BEST! TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT! PRL places the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in front of him. THA PUERTO RICAN JUST BRING IT, BITCHES! COME ON! I CAN BEAT CUBAN WALL! I CAN BEAT ANYBODY! COME ON! COME AND GET ME! COME AND GET ME! COME AND GET ME! I DARE YA! COME ON! Tha Puerto Rican removes his Puerto Rican flag wristbands and throws them into the crowd. THA PUERTO RICAN COME ON AND FIGHT ME! COME ON! I AM HERE ALL DAY! I AIN’T AFRAID OF NOBODY! GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT BECAUSE YOUR BEST STILL WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH TO DEFEAT ME! COME ON! PRL poses in the ring. COLE Tha Puerto Rican has defeated his former running buddy once and for all! And he did it all by himself! He didn’t need The Lightning Crew! He didn’t need Stephen Joseph Popick! He didn’t need Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, or Mr. Boricua, or Thomas Rodriguez, or Princess Stacey, or Vitamin X, or The Bone Thug, or John “Rock Hard” Brickston, or Spanish Fly, or anybody else! He did it ALL BY HIMSELF! Tha Puerto Rican proves a point to Cuban Wall, to the fans, and most importantly, to himself tonight at The Great Angle Bash 2008! PRL continues motioning for the other Superstars of the OAOAST to “Just Bring It!” THA PUERTO RICAN I’m the man! I’m #1! Not you! ME! The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut to Cuban Wall hanging Tha Puerto Rican over the top ring rope with the leather belt. Cut to Cuban Wall Chokeslamming Tha Puerto Rican through the announce table. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican spraying the contents of the fire extunginsher into Cuban Wall’s face. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican kicking out of The Lightning Crew Splash. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican hitting Cuban Wall with the Sweet Chin Music. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican giving Cuban Wall the P.R. Nightmare to win the match and successfully retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. COLE What a match this was! Cuban Wall dominated PRL, hanging him over the top rope with a leather belt. At one point, he CHOKESLAMMED PRL THROUGH the announce table, breaking it in half! But PRL fought back with that fire extungisher, only to fall victim to the Wallbreaker and The Lightning Crew Splash…or so we thought. PRL amazingly KICKED OUT of The Lightning Crew Splash and came back to life! He got his 2nd or I suppose 17th wind and hit Cuban Wall with the Sweet Chin Music followed by the P.R. Nightmare to SUCCESSFULLY retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title tonight at The Great Angle Bash! Aren’t you going to say something, Coach? COACH I am too disgusted beyond words to say anything right now, Michael Cole. COLE Oh well. Continue being a sourpuss. COACH I ain’t no pussy! I LOVE pussy, but I AIN’T no pussy! COLE I said sourpuss, not pussy. COACH What the hell is a sourpuss? A pussy that’s sour? COLE You know what? Just nevermind. Nevermind. COACH Because if that’s the case, then your mom had a sourpuss! COLE Oh, will you stop!? COACH HA! HA! COLE Ugh. The OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 logo flashes across the screen. Cut back to live action as Tha Puerto Rican grabs the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt and heads to a turnbuckle corner where he proceeds to climb the second turnbuckle and raise the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head to a loud pop from the crowd. PRL mouths, “THAT’S RIGHT!” PRL then gets off of the second turnbuckle, and then climbs the second turnbuckle opposite the one he was just on, raising the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head again to a pop from the fans. PRL gives the fans a “Killa B”, and then jumps off of the second turnbuckle. P.R. heads to a third second turnbuckle. Once there, P.R. raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. P.R. jumps off of the second turnbuckle and then heads to the fourth second turnbuckle where he once again raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt high into the air with his right hand while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines down on him ala The Rock. PRL does The People’s Eyebrow while standing on the second turnbuckle. The crowd cheers LOUDLY. PRL slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and then jumps off of the second turnbuckle back onto the mat, tired, fatigued, in pain, but the winner. COLE Tha Puerto Rican did it! He pulled off the upset! He defeated Cuban Wall 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring BY HIMSELF! Tha Puerto Rican walks to the center of the ring, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder. “Know Your Role 2000” has to be restarted, PRL has been in the ring for that long. THA PUERTO RICAN I am the Badd Boy Of The OAOAST! I CAN’T BE STOPPED! NO HOW! NO WAY! NUH-UH! BOO-YAH~! DEAL WITH IT, MOTHERFUCKERS! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! YEAH! Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as a single spotlight shines down on him. The crowd cheers loudly. THA PUERTO RICAN WOO-HAH! GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK! PRL stands up, and paces around the ring while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt in his left hand. He is still FIRED UP, even though he is the only person inside of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as a single spotlight shines down on him on the opposite side of the ring. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as a single spotlight shines down on him on the other two sides of the ring. The crowd is still cheering loudly. “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. PRL raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head one more time to a loud pop from the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican exits Ring One underneath the top ring rope. Tha Puerto Rican walks across the entrance ramp holding the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder as he slaps hands with the fans along the way. COLE Tha Puerto Rican went through a HELLACIOUS battle here tonight! But he came out of it alive and STILL the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! He has shown the world just how much of a man he truly is! Tha Puerto Rican has shown us just how much guts he truly has! His AND Cuban Wall’s careers might never be the same again! Oh my! What an incredible, memorable match-up! COACH Too bad about the ending. COLE It was the ending all of these fans, these Lightning Bolts, wanted, and they got it! COACH Uh-oh. I’m feeling that chilli dog coming back up again! COLE Tha Puerto Rican’s dream came true after defeating Stephen Joseph Popick to win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST AngleMania VII back in March in Los Angeles, and his dream still lives on after defeating Cuban Wall in a No Holds Barred Match to retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2008 tonight in Minneapolis! COACH Ugh. I AM going to be sick! COLE Oh come on! Tha Puerto Rican is still slapping hands with the fans as he continues his walk across the entrance ramp back to the entrance, the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt still over his left shoulder and the crowd still cheering loudly as “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. COLE Tha Puerto Rican defeats Cuban Wall to successfully retain the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in a BRUTAL but memorable No Holds Barred Match! And we have got MORE BRUTALITY coming your way tonight here at The Great Angle Bash! WarGames: The Match Beyond, Team Sommers vs. Team Phoenix, is coming up next in just a few moments fans! Tha Puerto Rican slaps the last few fans' hands left and then walks over to the entrance raising his right fist into the air while the crowd cheers loudly. “Know Your Role 2000” has to be restarted a second time. Tha Puerto Rican raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt into the air with his left hand near the curtains, a serious expression on his face, while the crowd cheers loudly. PRL is sweating, breathing hard, his face is red, and he is in a lot of pain, but the fact that he is still World Heavyweight Champion makes it all worth it. P.R. blows a kiss to the fans and then cracks a little half-smile, and then waves goodbye to his Lightning Bolts. Tha Puerto Rican slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his left shoulder and then turns around, exiting through the curtains. The crowd continues cheering while “Know Your Role 2000” continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the final image that we see before we fade out. Looks like Tha Puerto Rican doesn’t need The Lightning Crew after all. FADE TO BLACK Edited July 12, 2008 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 WAR GAMES vs. BUFFER At this time, the rules of War Games. War Games consists of nine periods, with the 1st period lasting 5 Minutes. All other periods with last for 2 Minutes. The first member of each team, as specified earlier in the night, will enter the ring and the first period will begin. At the end of the five minute period, the team which wins the referee's coin toss will send in a second man, giving their team a 2 to 1 advantage. Two minutes there after, the opposing team sends in their second man, evening the odds. After period 3, the winners of coin toss sends in their third man. Teams alternate during the remaining periods until all eight men have entered War Games, at which point, The Match Beyond shall begin! The only way to win is via Submission or Surrender! There will be no pinfalls, no countouts and no disqualifications. War Games only ends when a combatants makes any one member of the opposing team surrender. BUFFER Wrestling fans, ARE YOU READY? "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Minneapolis, Minnesota... ARE... YOU... rrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEAAAADDYY!? "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER Then, for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world on syndicated television... ladies and gentlemen... LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRRUMBLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! After a conference on the outside the two teams pick their opening entrants. Despite the match being Team Sommers versus Team Cone, it seems to be Landon doing most of the talking on his side of the ring. Eventually, it ends up with Nathaniel Black as the nominated opener, entering the ring with encouraging slaps on the back from Blonde and Maddix. "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" As soon as Black enters the cage door, he sees ZACK MALIBU stepping into Ring One for Team Sommers to a roaring reception. COLE And how about this, Zack Malibu kicking it off for Team Sly! COACH Talk about opening with a heavy hitter. COLE Stamina will surely be a factor for those who enter War Games early and you've got two great athletes to start. Zack has been in War Games before, he's been in epic encounters before. Black very well-conditioned, but it's going to be interesting to see how the European mat technician adapts to this cage warfare! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell officially sounds and the first five minute period begins. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" It's a cagey start (no pun intended!) as Black and Zack both try and lure the other into their ring. After a couple of fakeouts and some false starts, eventually Zack decides to take the hit and enters Ring Two, getting predictably jumped on the way in. COLE Black winning the mini battle of wills right there. Black pounds away on Malibu's back with forearms repeatedly. Pulling him upright, Black then delivers a hard forearm shiver before sending him across the ring with an irish whip. Zack bounces back but ducks underneath a Lariat attempt. A back elbow also misses the mark and Zack then explodes off the ropes with a double leg takedown before mounting Black with right hands. Covering up, Black is able to shove Malibu away and get back to his feet. Zack backs him into a corner though and tees off with some more right hands. Defensively the Englishman goes low, looking to pick a leg. Zack evades though... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and connects with a hard knifedge chop as Black gets back to his feet! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second chop. Shaking them off, Black grabs a hold of Zack, switching him into the corner before unloading with a series of three European uppercuts. Only for Malibu to shrug them off, switch... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and respond with three knifedges! COLE We've got two hard hitters here and win no pinfalls and no submissions just yet, they've got the best part of five minutes left to battle it out man to man. COACH Well I don't think Zack wants to battle too long with Nat Black. He best start hitting and moving. Black walks out of the corner, luring Malibu after him then striking with a forearm to intercept him. Back staggers Zack, but he uses the ropes behind him to launch back with a forearm of his own. After the initial dis-orientation of the strike Black shakes his head 'no', showing he's not adversely affected for long. The two proud warriors suddenly square up and go face to face for a second... ...and then both launch into simultaneous headbutts, trying to catch each other out and in the end catching each other flush in the forehead!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH! Like two rams they BUTT heads and we could hear that skull on skull contact over here at Sofa Central! COACH That wasn't a real smart idea at this point in the match. I mean, that wasn't a real smart idea ever. But, at this rate, what kind of shape are these two gonna be in by the end of this five minutes? That could easily have been a concussion or two dished out. Both men are slow to their feet and clearly feeling the effects. Zack reaches his feet first but seems unsteady, taking a moment's pause to get his bearings. Using the ropes, Black gets back up to find himself stared down by Zack. Despite throbbing heads they come together again and do battle trading forearms now! The Minneapolis crowd are behind each shot, first Black, then Zack, going back and forth. Eventually the shots take their toll and the exchange slows down, despite the encouragement from the team-mates on the floor. Zack gets a sudden shot of adrenaline and hits the ropes, looking to wipe Black out with his leaping lariat. The wily Englishman ducks out of the way just in time though, causing Zack to land awkwardly. Behind him, Black sees an opportunity and lunges forward, aiming for the knee with a chopblock... but Malibu avoids it with a well-timed spin and the Englishman sprawls forward empty-handed. COLE Another stand-off! Man, if Black'd connected on that chopblock Zack and Team Sommers as a whole would be in big trouble! COACH That's what Black needs to be doing, picking a bodypart. These two are taking a lot out of each other so far, Black needs to try and go to the ground where he's most comfortable in my opinion. COLE What a battle we're seeing in this opening period of War Games. Realising how close he came to being hobbled Zack now moves a little more cautiously as Black climbs back up again. The pace slows back down again as the two inch towards each other looking for an opening. Eventually they find their way into a collar and elbow tie-up. Black grabs a side headlock, only for Zack to roll to the side and throw him away. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Black comes right back and another lock-up ensues. This time Black finds his way out behind with a hammerlock. Not liking where that's leading to, quickly Zack takes Nathaniel off his feet with a drop toehold. Zack then scrambles back to his feet to safety leaving Black frustrated on the canvas. COLE It's clear that's what Black's looking for now. He's trying to attack a bodypart and try to soften Zack up for later. COACH It's only gonna be a submission that ends this bad boy. And when you're talking submissions, there's few better in the OAOAST at setting them up than Nat Black. Again the two men are careful to rush in after the heavy strikes they've exchanged so far. They inch in towards a lock-up before lunging towards each other. Only one of them goes for the lock-up this time however. That man isn't Nathaniel Black who instead locks his fingers around Zack's facial features and rakes his eyes! Landon shows his appreciation for that one with a beaming smile from the floor. A forearm rocks Zack into a corner, where the Englishman starts to unload with a succession of bodyshots. But even with the sting of an eyerake lingering Zack isn't one to back down and he starts firing off open handed palm strikes to disorientate Nathaniel and regain the advantage! COLE Zack Malibu showing the grit and determination that earned him the moniker The Modern Day Warrior during his time in Japan! Wringing the arm, Zack sends Nathaniel corner to corner with an irish whip. Avoiding a collision with the turnbuckles the Englishman steps up onto the middle turnbuckle and uses his landing as momentum to charge right through Zack with a hard forearm strike! Zack is turned head over heels from the force and lies facedown with Cucaracha Internacional applause showering Black from the arena floor. Black smiles, places a foot on the back of Zack's head and watching him squirm around like a bug. The members of Team Sommers start to look a little more concerned at this point. COACH Looks like Nathaniel's finally got the upperhand. And he's got Zack down, right where he wants him, flat on his face on the mat. COLE This has certainly been a very physical opening to this year's War Games. But now Black will look to dictate the pace with the coin-toss fast approaching. Black finally drops a knee across the neck of The Franchise, causing him to writhe in pain. The Englishman then turns to one section of the Minneapolis crowd and flips them the 'v'-sign. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Measuring Malibu, Black drives his boot into the side of the head. And a second time. Rolling near the far side of the cage wall Zack then finds himself in a bad position, as Black charges in again... *CLANG!* ...but he kicks nothing but steel as Zack thankfully pulls his head clear of contact just in time! COLE That was a close call right there. COACH No kidding, if that double headbutt didn't cause a concussion then that probably would have. Not dwelling on his miss, Black re-targets the neck of Malibu as he traps him in a cravat 3/4 headlock. Cue much confusion on the outside from Landon, as he turns to Megan and asks "hey, didn't I use to do that a lot?" That he did, but probably not as effectively as Black who twists the neck to one side forcing Zack down to one knee with a pained grimace on his face. Black tightens up on the hold with plenty of leverage standing over Zack. He then flashes a confident smile over to the rest of Team Sommers, which doesn't go down well. Black seems happy enough though and content enough to hang onto the modified headlock for the rest of the five minute period. "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" "LET'S GO ZACK!" The support of the crowd fuels the popular Franchise though and with fists clenched he starts to climb to his feet. Black holds onto the cravat, but finds an open palm thrust into his midsection. And a second. And then a third. Doubled over a little, Black recovers quickly and tightens up the hold again. Zack fires right back with three more open thrusts though before dragging the Englishman over! COLE Nice escape from Zack. But the damage may have been done. Rolling back to his feet, Black walks in as Zack comes ROARING... ...ELBOW DUCKED! Black avoids the attack and hooks Malibu up, looking for a back suplex. Up and over the back goes Zack though, landing on his feet and snaring Black, looking for the Angle Slam! Black immediately senses trouble and thrusts downwards with elbows into the neck to fight Zack off. He then hooks Zack up and executes a Half Hatch Suplex! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Off the ropes, Black then looks to follow with a big kneedrop... but finds nobody home! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Black misses the knee and ends up jamming it straight into the mat, that could be a costly mistake from the Brit! Cone throws his hands up in frustration, as Black hobbles to his feet. Sneaking up behind Malibu takes advantage as he kicks Black's leg out from under his... uh, leg! Black is quickly back up, but his leg is quickly kicked out from underneath him a second time. And a third time Black hobbles up only to have the knee kicked out! COLE And now it's Zack targetting a bodypart! He saw his opening and he's got no qualms about taking it, this is War Games after all! COACH If anybody knows that then it'd be Zack I guess. Away into a corner hobbles Black, followed close behind by Malibu. Zack hangs the right knee up over the middle rope and delivers a hard kick to the inner thigh muscle! Still with the leg hung up Black is then further penned in as Zack climbs the middle turnbuckle and extends a fist to the crowd... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" "EIGHT!" "NINE!" "TEN!" After the ten right hands, Zack looks up above his head at the cage roof and an idea pops into his head. Grabbing onto the mesh roof he pulls himself upright onto the top rope. Using the roof for balance, he then places his foot on Black's throat in a blatant but ultimately legal choke! COACH Plus, we all know Zack's not above breaking the rules when it suits him! Look! COLE Zack Malibu doing what it takes, whatever it takes, here at The Great Angle Bash! Zack jumps back down into the ring and Black finally pulls himself out of the corner. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" Another knifedge rocks Black, before Zack goes downstairs to trip the knee. Taking him over to the ropes, Zack hangs the foot across the bottom rope and drives all his bodyweight across the knee joint. As this is happening, things are heating up on the floor as the two referees come together to get the coin-toss out of the way. Charles Robinson and Mike Chioda keep the two teams from coming to blows while Nick Patrick is in charge of the flip itself. Getting the call, Phoenix picks 'heads'... ...and HEADS IT IS, to an over-dramatic fist-pump from Landon! COLE And that is bad news for Zack Malibu. Cone gives Sommers a smug smile as the two teams are directed back over to their corners, with James Blonde stripping off his fancy entrance coat and being given a peptalk from La Cucaracha. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the coin toss... TEAM PHOENIX... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Team Pheonix have the advantage and will send the next entrant into War Games! COLE So Cone and Cucaracha Internacional will have the man advantage and from the looks of it, James Blonde is going to be on his way in imminently. Which will come as big relief for Nathaniel Black from the ways things are going right now. COACH And big delight for James Blonde. He finally gets his hands on Zack Malibu after all this time! COLE And Zack will get his hands on Blonde after everything he's been running his mouth about these past few weeks. Actually, I'm kinda surprised Blonde would volunteer to go in before Faqu, considering how many times he's fed him to Zack recently. With Blonde continuing to get the peptalk from his mentor, in the cage Zack pulls Black out of Ring Two and to the aprons, then throws him into Ring One. COLE That's a smart strategy from Zack, taking the action as far away from where James Blonde will enter as possible. COACH So, running from him in other words? COLE I wouldn't call it 'running' Coach. He creating space so he doesn't get jumped from behind in twenty seconds time. Zack enters Ring One with Black and absorbs a forearm shot to the gut, pulling the Englishman to his feet and firing off a hard kick to the back of the right knee. Another kick further hobbles Black, allowing Zack to hit the ropes. Black manages to duck underneath a clothesline, but Malibu keeps on running and comes off the opposite set of ropes, taking flight and delivering a Leaping Lariat to knock his man down. :10 :09 The countdown is on for James Blonde, smiling confidently... :08 ...less so as he sees Zack Malibu standing tall in Ring One... :07 ...and even less so as Zack Malibu begins to leave Ring One and enter Ring Two in preparation for his former friend's arrival! COACH Wait a minute... what happened to creating space!? COLE I think Zack just created some. He's gotten Nathaniel Black out of the way and for the time being at least, it's going to be Zack versus Blonde, one on one! :06 :05 :04 :03 All the peptalking in the world isn't going to help James Blonde's confidence now as Zack drops into a crouched position and waves JB on with a smile on his face! Blonde's eyes bug a little and all of Landon's words fall on deaf ears... :02 ...as Blonde frantically waves Faqu over and points him into the ring! :01 *BZZT!* BUFFER Now entering War Games, representing Team Phoenix, one third of the OAOAST World 6-Man Tag Team Champions... "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL"... FFFAAAAAA - QQUUUUUUUU!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE You've got to be kidding me! With an encouraging pat on the back from Blonde, Faqu enters and the door padlocks shut behind him to a little trepidation from Landon. Blonde claims a touch of cramp when quizzed by James Cone about why he didn't get in like he was supposed to, then changes the subject quickly by shouting words of encouragement to Faqu. COLE Well, Faqu is in now and somehow I don't think it was in the gameplan of Cone and Cucaracha Internacional to have the big Samoan going in at number two. He's a dangerous man in any environment but will stamina play a factor? COACH That's what they want you to think Michael. They want you to get a false sense of security, then BAM, they sick the psycho Samoan on ya! They fooled everybody, brilliant! COLE Oh yeah, I could have sworn James Blonde was all ready to enter War Games until he saw Zack Malibu waiting to shut his big yap and bottled it. They sure got me, huh! COACH They sure did. Faqu and Zack stand off with Zack wise to keep half an eye out behind him. For now though it's just him and the big Samoan. And eventually the big Samoan comes to life, beating his chest with a primative roar before charging Zack... but he weaves behind Faqu's wild lunge and strikes hard and fast with open handed strikes, upstairs and downstairs, anywhere open on the bigman. Faqu is rocked but is also fresh, able to come back with a surprise knee to the gut. A clubbing forearm to the back drops Zack to one knee. As does a second. Zack shows some fight with a right hand to the midsection. But Faqu pulls him up to his feet a second later and clasps his hands around the throat with a blatant choke! COLE Zack got caught! Look at the crazed look in the eyes of Faqu as he attempts to squeeze the life out of his former friend! COACH Faqu might just choke Zack out for the next two minutes. That'd be cool. Backed up against the ropes, Zack's eyes are bulging from the force being put on his windpipe. Both Landon and Blonde encourage him to keep choking, Cone looking satisfied with things as well. That is until Zack realises these are desperate times... *CHING* "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and resorts to desperate measures with a KICK BELOW THE BELTLINE!! COLE Even a wild Samoan has a weakness downstairs! Faqu doubles over in pain and Zack takes a second to replenish his lungs, before grabbing hold of Faqu's braided hair... *CLANG!* "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" ...before launching him FACE-FIRST INTO THE CAGE WALL!! COLE Zack's gonna bring the steel into play! Faqu bounces off the mesh, right back towards Zack. A boot to the gut this time doubles Faqu up, Zack taking the Samoan for the ride right across the ring... *CLANG!* "YYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...INTO ANOTHER SIDE OF THE CAGE!! COACH HE'S STILL UP THOUGH! Shaken by the collisions with the steel Faqu comes to a stop, eyes rolling. He soon gets his senses back though and starts beating his chest authoratively again! Not concerned, Zack delivers another boot and goes on another run with Faqu trailing by the hair... *CLANG!* ...INTO THE THIRD WALL HE GOES... ...and after some wobbling and some arm waving to try and keep his balance, DOWN HE GOES, to the despair of his team-mates on the floor!! "YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Zack has felled the Samoan Wrecking Ball! COACH Yeah, with a lowblow and three trips into the cage, big deal! COLE It is a big deal, because Zack's got under two minutes until the odds are even and so far he's playing this 2 on 1 disadvantage about as well as he possibly could! Faqu climbs back to his feet, still wobbly on his feet which isn't helped by a Zack Malibu right hand to the temple. Zack nails him with another right. And another. Falling into the corner, Faqu is seeing stars right about now. Zack climbs the middle rope in front of him and balls up the fist once more... "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" "SIX!" "SEVEN!" ...before he can get to eight, Zack spots Nathaniel Black trying to leave Ring One and jumps off the top rope, catching him on the ring aprons with a double axehandle! Down goes Black, getting rolled back into Ring One by Zack who promptly re-enters Ring Two to stay on Faqu. COLE I can't believe how well Zack is dealing with this two on one situation. He made a crucial move in isolating Black in Ring One before Faqu came in, but he hasn't forgotten about his other opponent entirely. COACH Well Zack obviously had a strategy and it's paying off, so far. After some shoulder thrusts to the midsection, Zack delivers a European uppercut on The Samoan Wrecking Ball leaving him winded in the corner. Zack backs away across the ring into the opposite corner, before charging back in with a corner clothesline. Turning Faqu so his chin rests on the top turnbuckle, Malibu then backs away again, whipping up the support of the Minneapolis crowd. From the opposite corner he charges again, taking off with both knees... ...Faqu moves, avoiding the Zack Attack 2... but Zack adjusts in mid-air, landing with his feet safely on the middle rope! Zack breathes a sigh of relief before taking off again, twisting in mid-air with a crossbody block... CAUGHT! To a groan from the crowd, The Franchise is caught with ease in the arms of Faqu! Zack kicks and struggles to try and fight free. To no avail, Faqu throwing him up onto his shoulders... only for Zack to slide free of a Samoan Drop attempt... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and rock Faqu with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another one! Faqu struggles to fight back, but Zack's attention is caught by Nathaniel Black again. A knee prevents him from entering Ring Two, but the distraction proves costly as when Zack returns to open more fire Faqu is waiting with a sudden thrust to the throat! COACH Like I said, 'so far'. The reeling Malibu falls against the ring ropes, right where Black is laying. And The Englishman quickly adds to his woes by hanging his throat up across the top rope from the aprons! COLE And the numbers game looks to have finally caught up with Zack. But the good news is, we're under thirty seconds until the next member of Team Sommers can enter. Zack falls at Faqu's feet, feet which are soon stomping down on his chest. In comes Black to join in and things suddenly look bleak for The Franchise. Together Black and Faqu stomp away until the Englishman calls a halt. They then pick Zack off the canvas, lining him up... and delivering a Double Headbutt! "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" COACH The crowd are behind him, but the odds are against him! COLE Not for long though. As Black and Faqu continue to double-team the downed Zack, the countdown continues to tick down. Faqu places his bare foot across Zack's throat, Black stomping away on the ribs at the same time, only stopping to berate the crowd. With some advice from the outside the double-teaming stops though, Blonde pointing out the clock to his 6-Man Tag Team Championship partners and warning there's a fresh man on the way. :10 :09 :08 Faqu stays on Zack, pulling him up on the ropes and delivering another hard Samoan headbutt. His partner watches on with a smile, unable to resist one last kick to the gut on The Franchise. :07 :06 :05 With time running down Black then starts to leave, running through instructions to Faqu... :04 :03 :02 :01 *BZZT!* ...as the door to Ring One opens and LEON RODEZ makes his way in! BUFFER Now entering War Games for Team Sommers... "SILKY SMOOTH" LLEEEEEOOOOONN RODEZ!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Black is right there to meet Leon on the way in, looking to jump him straight away. But Leon is able to go to the gut to fight Black off, making it in through the ropes and unloading with quick jabs. The crowd are behind each shot as Leon backs Black up into the ropes, whipping him across Ring One and connecting with a standing dropkick! COLE Leon showing no fear on his re-introduction with the War Games, less than two years after that career threatening neck injury he suffered at the hands of one of his partners tonight, Todd Cortez. Grabbing hold of Black by the head, Leon points off to one side of the cage and asks the fans if they want it. The delay allows Black to stun him with a forearm to the gut though. Black raises a knee up into the face, following Leon as he falls against the ropes and attempting to grind his face into the steel mesh. Leon gets his hands in front of his face and blocks though, avoiding damage to his valuable face long enough to raise his knee and catch Black in the gut to fight him off. COACH I guess you've got to admire Leon for getting into this match, with the way things are right now. COLE What's that supposed to mean? COACH Well, the guy's onto a good thing. After tonight though, there might be NO Nerdlys who find him attractive anymore! COLE Oh, let's not start with that tonight Coach, please. Leon lies in wait for Black to approach him... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...scoring with a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another one. Black is getting mighty tired of those by now and goes to the gut with a knee, grabbing hold of Leon and attempting to run him into the cage. With a quick spin Leon is able to reverse and send Black off the ropes again though. On the rebound, the Brit is caught with an Inverted Atomic Drop, then knocked down with a clothesline. COACH Yay Leon! Do it Maggie! Or, is it Melody? COLE I said enough! With Black down, Leon leaves Ring One and heads to Ring Two to help out Zack. Faqu is busy putting the feet to Zack again in a corner and doesn't see Rodez coming, despite the warning from his partners. Diving onto Faqu's back Leon latches on trying to apply a sleeper hold. Faqu tries to fight him off and backs up, bouncing the back of Leon's head off of the cage. Not with enough force to fight him off though. Leon hangs on with the sleeper still, determined to put Faqu out. Backing up again, Faqu this time finds the corner... and Zack Malibu, who gets sandwiched behind both Faqu and Leon's combined bodyweight! Zack drops onto his BUTT in the corner, as Faqu backs up a third time to drive Leon's lower back into the top turnbuckle above him. Down goes Leon too and both he and Zack end up piled in the corner against the bottom turnbuckle. COLE Uh-oh. COACH Oh, this might not end well. Eyes lighting up, Faqu backs away from his two opponents as they sit in perfect position! Landon and Blonde encourage their Samoan Wrecking Ball to charge and he's ready to do just that, with a beat of the chest and a hop out of the corner... FAQU SAMOAAAAAAAAA... ...BUT LEON AND ZACK MOVE OUT OF THE WAY OF THE BUTT SMASH!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Nobody home! Zack and Leon able to haul each other clear of danger and Faqu hits nothing but turnbuckles! Faqu staggers out of the corner... into a DOUBLE HIPTOSS!! COLE What power, combined or otherwise! Into Ring Two comes Nathaniel Black, but Zack sees him coming and dives to meet him. As he works away on the Englishman, Leon stays with Faqu and locks the sleeper hold on again to try and put him out. Faqu flails around looking for an escape, while Zack avoids a lariat attempt from Black and hooks HIM in a sleeper as well! COLE Dueling sleeper holds! The former World Tag Team Champions are on the same page right here! COACH Come on guys, hold on, just another minute! Faqu seems to be going down but Black doesn't stay in his sleeper for long as he's able to sandwich Zack into a corner to escape. The Englishman wisely clubs Leon in the back to break the other sleeper as well. But a charge in the corner proves ill-advised, Zack sidestepping before pulling Black out of the corner for a schoolboy, knowing full well that pinfalls don't matter as he transitions into a Half Crab on the right knee he worked on earlier! Black holds his head in pain, hoping for a returned favour from Faqu. Before he can get over to save however, Faqu is pulled back by Leon and caught with a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Rodez turns to blowing the kiss, but as he turns back Faqu suddenly rushes him looking for a clothesline. Ducking underneath, Leon watches Faqu back off the ropes and sidesteps... *CLANG!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" ...GUIDING HIM INTO THE STEEL CAGE AGAIN!! COLE Samoan or not, you can only take so many head on collisions with steel like that. Faqu falls to a knee and goes right back into the sleeper hold from Leon! Black has found the ropes in the half crab meanwhile, but ropebreaks don't mean a thing and he stays trapped in the hold. :10 :09 :08 COLE We're under ten seconds until Team Phoenix regain their man advantage. :07 :06 And it can't come a moment too soon for the team-members inside the cage. Zack finally gives up on the half crab but the damage has been done on Black. :05 :04 The damage is now being done to Faqu, as Zack lays in kicks while Leon hangs on with the sleeper. :03 :02 :01 COACH Here we go, who is it? *BZZT!* No false starts this time, as James Blonde belatedly enters the fray. COLE Well whaddya know! BUFFER Now entering War Games, representing Team Phoenix... World 6-Man Tag Team Champion, "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BLONDE!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde climbs in with all the eagerness he lacked earlier, possibly because Zack Malibu has his back turned on him. And sure enough, that eagerness disappears as Blonde gets caught in the act going for a double axehandle! BLONDE COLE Well, better late than never! Holding up his hands Blonde tries to beg off from Zack and make friends... uh, again. Zack seems willing to listen to what Blonde has to say, if only out of strange curiousity, before he eventually grabs a hold of Blonde's blond locks... *CLANG!* ...AND TOSSES HIM HEAD-FIRST INTO THE STEEL CAGE!!!! Blonde writhes around in pain before rolling to his knees, face in horror as he realises he's BUSTED WIDE OPEN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO! COLE It's just going from bad to worse for The Trendsetter! Blonde again tries to beg for mercy, but Zack is having none of it and grabs a side headlock before pounding away at the open wound with right hands! Landon is apaplectic on the floor as he watches his understudy get drilled with right hands, before Zack lets go and the blood starts flowing freely! Away rolls Blonde to the safety of the ring aprons, Zack forced to fight off Nathaniel Black limping towards him with kicks. Black shoves Zack away and throws a clothesline, but Zack ducks his head and backdrops Black out onto the two ring aprons with his partner, just as Faqu starts to climb to his feet with Leon on his back. COLE It's The Usual Suspects versus the World 6-Man Champions and so far it's Zack and Leon in the ascendency! A boot from Zack catches Faqu, allowing Leon to let go of the sleeper and land safely on his feet. Zack then delivers a right hand. Backed up with a jab from Leon. Right hand from Zack! A jab from Leon! Right hand! A jab! Right hand! A jab! Leon and Zack stop, Faqu rocking between them. They look at each other for a second, before both turning to blow a kiss to the crowd... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...AND CONNECTING WITH STEREO ENZIGURIS TO KNOCK FAQU DOWN!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Usual Suspects Said Knock You Out! COACH Laaaame! Asking how he did, Zack gets a "B minus" for his efforts from Rodez. Figuring that's at least a pass Zack shrugs his shoulders and invites Leon to join him for a DOUBLE PESCADO, out onto the aprons to wipe out Blonde and Black respectively!! "US - UAL SUS - PECTS!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* "US - UAL SUS - PECTS!" *clap clap clapclapclap!* Leon works the crowd up, while Zack stays with the business at hand and walks Blonde over to the cage WHERE HE GRINDS HIS ALREADY BLOODY FACE AGAINST THE STEEL!! Howls of pain cry out from Blonde's mouth until Zack lets him go, letting him sadly slide to his knees. Behind all this, Leon starts to pick Black up, only to get a headbutt in the ribs for his trouble! As Leon doubles over, Black then smiles and pulls him into a standing headscissors! COLE Oh no... not this! COACH Yes, it's dejá vu all over again, just like Landon promised! To screams from the Minneapolis crowd Black elevates Rodez up for the piledriver on the aprons... ...but Zack nails him from behind with a double axehandle, to save Leon! COLE That was visions of last War Games for Leon right there. But thankfully Zack Malibu was there to save his partner's neck... literally. COACH Yeah, pity he wasn't there a year and a half ago as well, eh? Zack and Black take their fight into Ring One, trading shots as Leon composes himself again on the aprons. Disaster averted, he turns his attentions to James Blonde. The Trendsetter has pulled himself back up to his feet but rests against the cage wall between the two rings. Running down the aprons, Leon gives him a closer contact with that cage wall as he strikes him with DOUBLE KNEES AGAINST THE STEEL!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Boy, James Blonde can't catch a break so far! He would have been better chickening out again and staying on the floor. Hey, there's an idea! COACH Shut up. In Ring One, Black catches Zack with a surprise takedown and applies an STF! Unaware of this, Leon goes back into Ring Two... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and nails Faqu with a knifedge chop as he gets to his feet. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" And another one. Faqu stays up, so Leon takes off into the ropes and attacks the knee with a chopblock! COLE Great idea from Leon. COACH Yeah, but I'm pretty sure if anyone's quitting tonight, it won't be Faqu. Quit isn't in his vocabulary. COLE What IS in his vocabulary? COACH A ton of stuff! Just because he's not speaking English, you make out like he's a moron? COLE Only thing I can remember him saying as 'BLAAAAHHHH' so far. COACH You racist. Cue awkward silence... :10 ...and the countdown! :09 :08 :07 :06 Black still hangs onto the STF despite Zack's attempts to break his grip, pulling back on the head to take the fight out of Zack. Across in the other ring, Leon rains down right hands on Faqu who stays rooted on one knee. And James Blonde just slumps against the cage, bleeding. :05 :04 :03 COLE The 6-Man Champions not faring too well so far and now worse news, the odds are about to be evened up again! :02 :01 *BZZT!* The door to Ring One opens and to the surprise of many, it's team captain SLY SOMMERS who bursts in past referee Chioda. BUFFER Now entering War Games, representing Team Sommers... the Team Captain, SSSLLLLLYYYYY SSOOMMEEERRRRRSSSSS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Quick as a flash Sly goes for Nathaniel Black, landing a boot to the head that breaks the STF on Zack. Sly continues to stomp away and forces Black to roll away into a corner to try and get away. COLE How about this? Sly Sommers saving Zack Malibu! COACH And Sly Sommers, in at third spot for his team. Didn't see that coming. COLE Well Sly's got a lot of speedy attacks and above all he's a competitor, you can never take that away from him. Sly wants competition. COACH Well he's gonna get it tonight that's for sure. Pulling himself up in the corner, Black is kicked away at by the relentless Sommers, who then changes up right hands. Sly then sends Black for the ride, corner to corner. Hitting the turnbuckles hard, Black is then caught with a clothesline to sandwich him back into the buckles. Sly then brushes him aside, vaulting over the top rope and knocking Blonde back into the cage with a clothesline on the aprons! COACH What the hell is everybody's problem with JB!? Uncool! Sly goes back after Black, finding Zack about to do the same. Together, with just a little hint of tension, Sly and Zack grab an arm a-piece and send Black off the ropes with a double irish whip. Linking arms, they miss a double clothesline though. Sly breaks off first... and gets LEVELLED with a brutal standing Lariat, turning him INSIDE OUT! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" On his toes, Black evades Zack and nails him with a Lariat for his troubles as well! COLE Two devestating clotheslines and that might just turn the tide a little. Or at least stem the flow, because Team Phoenix wasn't looking too healthy up until that point. The man himself, James Cone, seems to have become more vocal now with Sly in the match and encourages Black to stay on the opposition captain. Black instead changes rings though, going over to Ring Two to jump Leon Rodez from behind. COACH And now Leon's in big trouble. Black works over Leon with forearms while Faqu gets a chance to recover. Irish whip sends Leon off the ropes, Black going downstairs to the midsection with a well placed headbutt. He then gets the heck out of the way, as Faqu motors forward with a well placed clothesline to take Leon off his feet! Off the ropes, Faqu then follows up with a MAMMOTH Legdrop, engulfing Leon's head!! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Getting back to his feet Faqu beats his chest before being directed to Ring One by Black. The Englishman is happy to take over on the downed Rodez, letting Faqu go after Zack and Sly. COLE Faqu is on the warpath and that is bad news for Team Sommers. But I still wonder how much stamina he's going to have by the end of this match. COACH Don't you worry about that. Worry about what's going to be left of the bodies surrounding him by then. COLE Well, both teams now with two men left to enter. COACH Unless you count Todd Cortez, Cucaracha Internacional member, that is. COLE I don't know if I buy into all that. I'm sure Landon would like the seeds of doubt to be sewn amongst his partners, but I doubt very much that Cortez is going to be helping Landon out any time soon. COACH He'd better start doing that soon. He's long enough overdue. Entering Ring One, Faqu measures Zack on his way up with a right hand. Down goes The Franchise, only to fight right back up. Faqu grabs a hold of him and delivers a knee to the gut. The big Samoan then grabs a hold of Sly as well, before cracking their heads with a simultaneous headbutt! COLE Two in one! Faqu grabs a hold of Zack again and scoops him up over his shoulder. With a cry in his native tongue, Faqu then charges across the ring... *CLANG!* ...DRIVING ZACK'S HEAD INTO THE CAGE LIKE A BATTERING RAM!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Faqu has got a second wind all of a sudden and he's dishing out some serious punishment now! Still rambling away in Samoan Faqu 'exchanges' some words with Bohemoth from the other side of the cage wall, Bo not saying much but staring the bigman down. Faqu shakes the cage in an attempt to scare him, to no avail. Faqu then turns back and sees Sly Sommers coming to his feet, spinning him around and delivering a thrust shot to the body. Sly tries to go low with a double leg in response, but Faqu delivers a Mongolian Chop across the exposed upper back leaving him arched over in pain. Over in Ring Two meanwhile, Black has Leon up against the cage wall and is GRINDING HIS FACE against the mesh! Right in Leon's face, Landon cheers Black on as the flesh begins to tear and Leon begins to bleed! COLE Leon, busted open... and it looks from our vantage point like Zack has been lacerated as well from that battering ram into the cage. COACH The casualties are starting to mount up like we knew they would. As Zack rests against the ropes, Faqu sends Sly across the ring with an irish whip. He ducks his head, but Sly is able to put on the brakes, firing off a kick to the shoulder blade. Sommers then hits a standing dropkick, rocking the bigman. Another dropkick has the same result. Hitting the ropes, Sly builds up some speed looking for a shot to take Faqu off his feet. The bigman swings with a clothesline but Sly goes underneath, coming back with a flying forearm to the back of the head! Faqu falls to a knee and Sly celebrates briefly, before knocking James Blonde down with a right hand as he staggers down the aprons. COLE The best thing that could happen to Blonde right now is falling between those aprons and under the rings. Back up, Zack teams up with Sly again, this time with more success as they knock Faqu over with a Double Dropkick! Zack mounts Faqu with punches, Sly leaving him be and changing rings to save Leon from the onslaught from Nathaniel Black. COACH Under fifteen before Team Phoenix get another guy in. COLE But is it going to be the team captain who comes in, or will it be Landon Maddix? Sly creeps up on Black... and GRINDS HIS FACE INTO THE CAGE AS HE DOES THE SAME AGAIN TO LEON! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 As the ten second countdown appears Black is able to get away from Sly, covering up as Sly advances. Black manages to grab a hold of Sly in an amateur clinch and they back away into a corner tussling around for position. :05 :04 :03 COLE Looks like it might be Landon. :02 And Cole is right, boos ringing out at the sight of La Cucaracha halfway up the ring steps waiting impatiently for the door to be opened. :01 *BZZT!* Landon quickly breezes in and immediately goes on the attack on Leon, the weakest of the opposition available to him. BUFFER Now entering War Games representing Team Phoenix... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAAADDIIIIXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE All four members of Cucaracha Internacional in and 4 on 3 is the advantage, good news for James Cone as he watches his team do battle for him. COACH And don't forget their fifth across the ring waiting to come in, Todd Cortez. COLE Oh stop. Landon stomps away at Leon energetically, placing his head back through the ropes and picking up where Black left off with some cheese grater action against the cage! Breaking away, he runs over and stuns Sly with a shot to the ribs from behind, breaking his lock-up with Black. Before Sly knows what's hit him, he's then spun around and driven face-first with the Complete Shot! Landon jumps to his feet and poses, then slaps Black on the chest and gives him the thumbs up. COLE And this is exactly the position Landon wants to be in, where he can pick his spots like the opportunist he is. Jogging over to Ring One, Landon lives up to that description as he sneaks up on Zack and boots him in the head to force him off of Faqu. "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The chants go unheard by La Cucaracha as he applies a blatant choke on Zack, squeezing the air from his throat. Landon then jumps up and dishes out some more stomps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 The chants go unheard by La Cucaracha as he applies a blatant choke on Zack, squeezing the air from his throat. Landon then jumps up and dishes out some more stomps. Backing away, Landon calls Faqu on, and the big man comes over and crushes Zack with a big splash, knocking the wind out of him. Scanning the ring, Landon starts to play General, calling on his troops to wear down the three fan favorites as best they can. COLE Landon's barking out orders, and like good soliders Cucaracha Internacional is dismantling Team Sommers! Ordering Faqu to go after Zack again, Landon has his Samoan henchman pull the prep up to his feet and send him to the corner, then follow up with a charge that culminates in a corner splash! Nathaniel Black has Sly Sommers draped over the middle rope, sitting on his back and forcing his throat down on the ropes, choking him out! Lastly, Leon Rodez is being worked over by James Blonde, who lifts him up for a back suplex that gets added impact when Landon simultaneously drops Rodez with a neckbreaker! COACH The well-oiled machine is doing their thing! Viva La Cucaracha! James Cone watches on with that smug smile visible on his face, looking quite pleased that Landon and company are handling the job quite well. Seeing Black choking Sly out, Cone goes over and peers through the cage wall, staring through the fence and his foe, who looks up at him with glassy eyes. Cone then slams his hand against the fence and backs away, silently celebrating that his rival is being decimated before his very eyes. COLE Cone and his crew are getting a little too confident. They might have the edge now, but we still have Bohemoth and Todd Cortez rounding out Sly's squad. COACH Please, Mikey Cole. You're talking about four men who are used to working well together, combined with a mastermind in James Cone. On the other side, you've got guys who have been enemies just as long, if not longer than they've been friends! COLE Well, it is true that Zack and Sly haven't always seen eye to eye... COACH ...yeah, and Zack and Bo JUST GOT DONE FEUDING WITH EACH OTHER, nevermind that Todd Cortez came to the OAOAST originally to maim Zack Malibu, AND he was the guy who broke Leon Rodez's neck IN A WAR GAMES! Coach's tirade has validity to it, but before he gets more heated he's cut off by the timeclock, as the seconds tick down towards some aid entering for Sly's slapdash crew. :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 COLE Either Bohemoth or Todd Cortez will be the next to enter, and quite frankly, I wouldn't want to deal with either of them at this point! Bo and Todd converse, and Bo starts cracking his neck. As the buzzer sounds and the door is opened by the referee, the crowd spring to their feet as the Metrosexual Monster becomes the next man to enter the cage! BUFFER Now entering the War Games...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HEEEEEEEEEEEE-MOTH! COLE It's Bo! Bo is in! All together, Landon and company stop what they're doing and charge, looking to cut the big man off before he can mount an offense. Black is the first to charge, but he's caught and drilled with a standing spinebuster! James Blonde comes next, but he's taken by the head and hurled into the cage, leaving him sprawled on the canvas after he bounces off the mesh! Landon backs up and moves into the other ring, leaving Faqu and Bo to stare each other down. The bloody, sweaty Samoan sneers, figuratively blowly smoke out of his nose as he and Bo go eye to eye! Faqu rocks him with a punch, but Bo sucks it up and fires off one of his own! Faqu absorbs that and fires off again, but Bo takes the hit and then fires off another one of his own! Faqu then hits a throat thrust and goes for a headbutt, but Bo knocks his hand away, then fires off right hands that stagger Faqu to the ropes! Bohemoth sends him across the ring, and when Faqu comes back towards him, Bo scoops him up and slams him halfway to hell with a vicious spinebuster that whips the crowd into a frenzy! COLE Bohemoth is cleaning house! With three of the four down, Bo scours the ring, finally finding Landon Maddix standing in the center of the other ring, away from the carnage! Bo smiles, finally having Landon all to himself, which frightens the former World Champion! Landon begs off, then goes and starts climbing the cage wall, trying to get away from Bo...but a recovered Sly Sommers reaches up and grabs Landon by the ankle, pulling him back down! Sly nails a right hand that spins Landon around, right into a right hand by Leon Rodez, who pinballs Landon over to Zack, who hits a third right before sending Landon over to Bo, who stuffs him into a standing headscissors! Setting Landon up for a powerbomb, Bo goes to lift, but gets cut off by a shot to the back from Faqu, who has recovered from the spinebuster! Blonde and Black are up as well, and now it's an even four on four war here in the War Games! COACH Four on four. Sly, Zack, Bo and Leon better enjoy it while they can! Everyone breaks off into pairs; Faqu with Bohemoth, Blonde with Leon, Landon with Sly, and the two men who started us off tonight, Black and Zack. Bo gets hurled back into ring number 2 by Faqu, while Landon tries to ram Sly's head into the cage, only for Sly to counter and send CI's fearless leader into the steel instead! Leon avoids a shoulderblock in the corner by leapfrogging over Blonde, and then takes him to send him across the corner, where Zack has Black ready to go. Zack sends Black out, but Black reverses it...so Malibu adapts quickly by using the momentum to hit a leaping lariat at the oncoming Blonde! Zack turns and Black charges, so Zack elevates him over with a back bodydrop that gets followed up with a seated splash from the middle rope by Leon, as The Usual Suspects work more double-team magic on the hated Englishman! The fans celebrate wildly as the face team starts to regain their hold on things, but that's when the timer starts counting down again, which will bring in the last man (and namesake) for Team Cone. :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 :05 COLE The seconds tick away, and we're about to see the Team Captain, James Cone, make his way into the War Games. :04 :03 :02 :01 BUFFER Now entering the War Games, and rounding out the lineup for Team Cone...the Team Captain, JAAAAAAAAAAAAMES COOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! The buzzer sounds, and Cone steps into the ring, brushing past the brawling Bo and Faqu. Sommers sees Cone enter and moves through the ropes towards the other ring, but Cone catches him upon entry and starts beating on the already weakened Sly. Backing him into the ropes, Cone shoots him across, but falls short on a dropkick attempt, then gets taken down with a swinging neckbreaker from Sommers! Sly is all over Cone, who is reeling from the blow, but ultimately able to push him off. Cone backs himself into the corner, and Sly charges, but eats a boot from Cone, who then takes Sly and shoves him into the corner, ramming his shoulder into the post! As Sly comes out of the corner, Cone pounds on the shoulder, then applies a hammerlock and shoves Sly back into the turnbuckles, looking to injure Sly enough to where he'll be the one to quit for his team! COLE It's going to be a long minute before Todd Cortez gets in the ring. Sly's team is fighting hard, but they're all battle worn! COACH Cortez is lucky he's the last guy, not because he'll be able to turn the tide, but because by the time he gets in the ring, it's gonna be mere seconds before it's over. Sly, Zack...none of these guys can take much more! Over in the other ring, James Blonde sneaks up behind Zack and locks in a sleeper, but Zack manages to turn to the side and elbow his way free, then apply one of his own before dropping The Trendsetter with...a Trendsetter! Malibu's patented sleeperhold drop draws a loud pop from the crowd, but as he comes up he eats a roaring lariat from Nathaniel Black, who follows up by stomping him down! Meanwhile, over in the corner, Leon works Landon over with knife edge chops, and as he leads him out of the corner, Landon drops down and goes low, then plants Leon's head into the ring with a DDT! COLE Landon Maddix again targeting the neck of Leon Rodez, spiking him with that move. COACH History tends to repeat itself, Michael, and I think Landon Maddix would like nothing more than for it to happen tonight! On the floor, Cortez paces, watching the destruction helplessly as it's not his time yet. Landon takes note of his reluctant occasional ally and badmouths him, telling him that he made his choice. Cortez can only fume as Landon badmouths him, then watch as Faqu drops Bo with a Samoan drop, only to have Landon follow up by spiking his knee into the Metrosexual Monster's head! Cone, who has Sly on his knees and trapped in an armbar, leads his rival to his feet and sends him towards Faqu, who scoops him up as well and floors him with a Samoan Drop! COLE That savage just laid out two guys, and over in the other ring, neither Zack nor Leon are in a good way either! Malibu's face is pressed against the mesh, the little links of chain stabbing into his skin as Black pushes his boot into the back of Zack's head, pushing it against the wall of the cage! Leon starts to recover from his DDT, but a rabbit lariat from Blonde puts him back down, only to be dragged up and trapped in a Cobra Clutch, causing him to flail his arms and try to break free before he's snapped to the canvas! COACH Illegally Blonde, baby! Leon Rodez has got to be wishing he didn't come out and help Zack this past Thursday night! The crowd grows hostile as Team Cone shows their dominance. Cone remains unbloodied, causing him to stand out from the rest of his team. Seeing Sly starting to stir, he rushes over and delivers a hard soccer kick that knocks him back down, and it's at that point that the seconds on the clock start to tick away for the last time, causing an incredibly anxious Todd Cortez to jog in place as he prepares to channel his pent up rage. COLE TEN SECONDS! COACH About thirty seconds away from a loss! :10 :09 :08 :07 :06 :05 :04 :03 :02 :01 BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT~! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~! BUFFER Now entering the War Games, the last participant...THE URBAN LEGEND, TODDDDDDDD CORRRRRRRRRRRTEZZZZZZZZZZZZ! As soon as the door opens, Cortez is through it, nailing a charging Cone with a right hand that floors him! Landon, ever the coward, orders Faqu over, but a series of kicks to the leg hobble the big man, only for Todd's leg to get caught...but he follows up with an enzugiri that staggers Faqu, then takes him off his feet with a sweep kick! Landon backs into the corner, but Cortez is RIGHT THERE, stalking a man that Cortez has carried hatred for in both the SWF and the OAOAST. Cortez takes Landon by the neck and biels him out of the corner, causing Landon to cry out in pain! COLE Still think that looks like a man on the verge of victory, Coach? Cortez tears off his wifebeater and wraps it around Landon's neck, bringing the fans to their feet! Landon's eyes bug out as he tries to take the shirt off of his throat, but it's of no use, as Cortez has a death grip on it! Luckily for Landon, Faqu gets up and strikes Cortez from behind, then traps him in a full nelson, holding him for his boss! Maddix gets up and throws the shirt aside, charging Cortez, who kicks up and drives both feet into his chest! Landon falls back, while Todd kicks a leg back and strikes Faqu low, once again using the "soft spot" to catch the big man off guard! Todd then whips Faqu to the ropes, then hits the side ropes, connecting with a HOLLOW POINT on the big man and dropping him down! COLE He just took Faqu down with a Hollow Point! The savage Samoan HAS to be feeling some semblance of pain now, as he rolls under the ropes, between the cage and the ring. Cortez gets up from his valiant attempt of clearing the ring of his foes, but eats a quick thrust superkick from Cone that knocks him out! Back in the other ring, Black sends Zack to the ropes, but rather than rebound, Zack hangs on...and when Black charges, Zack catches him with a hotshot! Falling to the mat, Black tries to pick himself up, but as he rests on all fours Zack hits the ropes, using Black's back as a springboard to launch himself into the opposite ring, taking Cone out with a flying bodypress! COLE FROM RING TO RING, AIR MALIBU FLIES HIGH~! After wiping out his former friend, Malibu gets on his shoulders and starts throwing elbows from the mount! Cone, the second most healthy man in the match behind Cortez, rather easily throws the weaker Malibu off of him and gets up, although Zack is right there to try SCHOOL'S OUT...ONLY FOR IT TO GET CAUGHT~! Cone holds Zack's foot at bay, causing him to have to remain balanced on one leg...and that causes him to not see Sly Sommers burst upwards with a SCHOOL'S OUT OF HIS OWN, paying tribute to his friend and mentor~! COACH Are you KIDDING me!? COLE A School's Out by Sly Sommers just shattered James Cone's jaw! Sly and Zack nod to each other in tribute, then turn to see Faqu coming to his feet, growling. The bloody beast is a picture of menace as he comes up slowly, with a devilish look in his eyes...and that's when Bohemoth, fresh to his feet, charges forward, spearing Faqu against the door AND SENDING THE BOTH OF THEM THROUGH IT AND TO THE FLOOR~! COACH YO~! COLE BOHEMOTH AND FAQU JUST WENT THROUGH THE CAGE! The cage door swings back violently, fortunately not flying off its hinges and into the crowd, as Faqu and Bohemoth lay motionless on the floor! Immediately, the referees call for help, and other refs and trainers run out to evaluate the damage done to the two superstars. Zack and Sly don't believe it, but then a well placed knee to the back sends Sly through the ropes and nearly out to the floor, as Landon Maddix has recovered! Zack turns around, but catches a thumb to the eye, giving Landon time to reach into his boot and pull a certain something out... ...A METAL SPIKE~! COLE Oh c'mon, you've got to be kidding me! COACH You seem surprised, Mikey Cole! Did you actually think that a veteran of War Games, a former Wildcard at that, wouldn't come prepared!? Malibu's vision is blurred, but as Landon cocks his arm back, it's grabbed by Leon, who reaches in from between the two rings to stop him from stabbing Zack! COLE Leon Rodez to save the day! He just saved Zack from being spiked! COACH Yeah, and the last time he saved Zack it worked out so well for him, all those months in a neck brace! Leon won't let go, but he's then jumped from behind by Black, who drags him off of Landon and back into the ring! Black hooks Landon and suplexes him over, but Landon escapes and falls back, then catches a charging Blonde with a boot and delivers a combination DDT/neckbreaker two Landon's two allies, taking them both out! Landon swings at Zack with the spike, but Zack catches the arm and brings him to the canvas with an armbar, trying to get the spike out of his grip! Zack and Landon struggle, but a running kick from Cone knocks Zack off of Landon! The spike rolls out of Landon's hand and stops at Cone's feet, so he reaches down and picks it up...but as he bends over to get it a recovered Cortez makes his presence felt, stuffing Cone between his legs and then leaping over his back, spiking the captain of the opposing team with a RIOT ACT PLUS~! COLE I think it's safe to say that James Cone will not be the one submitting for his team, because he is KNOCKED OUT~! COACH Really, is he? I was unaware. The crowd roars as Cortez rolls away from his foe, who slumps to the canvas after having had his head spiked. Meanwhile, Landon and Zack come up to their feet trading blows, only for Landon to nail another thumb to the eye! Zack backs off again, but as Landon comes forward Zack goes for a SCHOOL'S OUT...but it's caught! Landon quickly hoists Zack up on his shoulders, and attempts to make Zack GO TO SLEEP...but as he throws Zack down into his knee Zack catches his leg, uses a dragon screw, and segues into a figure four leglock on Landon Maddix that brings the crowd to a fever pitch! COLE AMAZING~! What a counter to the Go To Sleep, and now Landon Maddix is in trouble! Landon squirms, trying to free himself...but as he's trapped in the leglock, Sommers comes off the top with the SUPERSLY SPLASH, crushing the braggadocio superstar under his weight! Sly rolls off, his tender ribs a little sore after that, while Landon limply tries to free himself. Cortez gets up and stands over Landon, looking down at him, and then notices something nearby, laying on the mat. COACH What's he...oh no. Oooooh no. Cortez goes and picks up the spike, the same weapon that Landon had brought into the match, and stands over Landon as he's trapped in the figure four. Helpless, Landon begs for mercy, while Cortez looks out to the crowd, wondering if he should give it to him. Egged on by the fans, Cortez drops to his knees and starts jabbing the spike into Landon's forehead, creating a gush of blood that covers his face! COLE Todd Cortez is exerting years of anger and frustration right here, right now! Landon screams in pain, slamming his hands on the canvas, and finally yells in surrender, shouting "STOP! STOP! I QUIT!" as loud as he can muster! Distracted by his own ferocity, Cortez doesn't hear the bell or the elated fans responding to it, and has to be pried off of Landon by the referee, who warns him that the contest has ended! COLE They did it! Five men, never a cohesive unit before, just defeated Landon Maddix's personal dynasty, enlisted by James Cone! COACH All it took was a metal spike. COLE A metal spike that Landon Maddix brought into the ring! He sought revenge for the loss nearly two years ago, but in a twist of fate, poetic justice reigned supreme here tonight! Broken and bloodied, the four men still in the ring huddle up and embrace, as Michael Buffer makes the official announcement. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winners of the War Games...the team of SLY SOMMERS, ZACK MALIBU, TODD CORTEZ, BOHEMOTH and LEEEEEEEEEON ROOOOOOOOOOOODEZZZ! With the match over, the winning team hop down to the floor, going over to check on Bo, who is being tended to by the trainers. Hobbled by his actions earlier, Bo breaks away from the support of the OAOAST staff and hugs his teammates, happy to have done his part as they became victorious. COLE An emotional scene here tonight as these five men united, and put their pasts behind them for the greater good. James Cone is just now coming to after that Riot Act Plus. Nathaniel Black and James Blonde probably don't know their own names. Faqu can't even SAY his own name, and Landon Maddix is in a very bad way, all by his own doing! COACH An ingrate. That's what that Cortez is, an ingrate! You think that this was really the end, Michael Cole? C'mon! COLE I don't think it's the end of anything at all, Coach. In fact, I think War Games, if anything, kicked off a war rather than ended one! You can be we'll be hearing from both sides this week on HeldDOWN~! Sly, Malibu, Bo, Cortez and Leon all head up the ramp. Groggy and in need of a warm shower and a good night's rest, the popular quintet head to the back, turning one last time and raising each other's arms in victory, as fireworks go off in the arena, showering them with red, white and blue sparks! COLE The colors of America, the colors of the OAOAST, showering the arena here tonight as Sly Sommers rallied his friends together tonight, and had it pay off. Those five men are getting a checkmark in the win column tonight, and as for us...we're out of here! Thank you so much for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Michael Cole, for The Coach, and we'll see you later this week on HeldDOWN~! FADE OUT. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 1, 2008 The Great Angle Bash A OAOAST ENTERTAINMENT Production DIRECTED BY Tony149 WRITTEN BY KC CCB EWC Tony149 Alfdogg Zack Malibu Patty O'Green GRAPHICS Patty O'Green Papacita OAOAST CREATED BY CWM Tony149 Anglesault © 2008 OAOAST Entertainment All Rights Reserved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
