Tony149 0 Report post Posted July 24, 2008 (edited) Wasn't feeling it this week. But it's respectable. [i]My dick cost a late-night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick: bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick: large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you're 14[/i] The greatest theme song in the OAOAST blaring in the background, Mr. Dick leads out his team for our next match. Malaysia trailing behind holding the gold and her cat o’nine tails. BUFFER The following 6-man tag team attraction is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Coming down the aisle, accompanied by OAOAST Women’s Champion MALAYSIA! At a total combined weight of 783 pounds, the team of CPA and DETECTIVE TANGO BOSLEY… V.I.C.E. … and MR. DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Despite being a fellow New Yorker, law enforcement’s worse, Detective Bosley is greeted rudely. Mr. Dick having to prevent him from running into the crowd to crack some heads. COLE Hold onto your seats, fans, what’s left of the ozone layer is going to explode from this ovation. A cloud of [b][color="#9932CC"]purple haze[/color][/b] is released as “Thriller” by Fall Out Boy hits to the sound of screaming girls everywhere. BUFFER And their opponents! First, from Laguna Beach, California, total combine weight 370 pounds… MARV and MEL… THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS! Their tag team partner hails from San Antonio, Texas, and weighs in tonight at 265 pounds… “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BARON WINDELS!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Baron and the CAE clear the ring storming in. Mr. Dick and V.I.C.E. wanting to start the match on their term. Referee Nick Patrick ordering both teams to choose a representative to get things underway. * DINGDINGDING * Pre-match garb aside, the teams are ready to hook ‘em up. Face to face, Detective Tango Bosley and MARV engage in a little trash talking before locking up. Though he owns the size and weight advantage Bosley still resorts to using a cheapshot, driving the knee into the midsection of MARV. Knuckle sandwich and backhand judo chop rocks the youngest member of the match, but he recovers in time to block a roundhouse kick and snap Bosley over with a DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP! COACH That’s gotta feel worse than being shot, Mikey. At least most, if not all, the damage is done after taking a bullet to the leg. In this case the ligaments could be stretched or hanging on by a thread. COLE Are you ribbing me? Both hurt like a bitch! MARV dropkicks the knee and Bosley falls flat on his face. A quick tag ensues and MEL delivers a SPRINGBOARD LEGDROP! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Full arm drag and twist, but when MEL cranks on the arm Bosley pops him good in the face. MEL shakes it off and retaliates with overhand chops, then a single-leg takedown as MARV re-enters and grabs the other leg to do the old Rock ‘n’ Roll Express double somersault leg stretch followed by punch to opposition tag partner standing on the apron, or partners in this case, drilling both CPA and Mr. Dick! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The identical twin sensations play to the crowd and nearly get decapitated for it. Fortunately they duck a clothesline from Detective Bosley and connect with a DOUBLE KICKFLIP. MARV exits as the heels tag and in comes a red hot Mr. Dick, who charges into an arm drag. And another. Now it’s the good guys’ turn to make an exchange. BARON WINDELS accepting the tag! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Listen to this crowd exploded! They want to see the former Lone Star Gunslingers hook ‘em up. COACH And you know Mr. Dick is all about giving the people what they want. It’s too bad the same can’t be said for Baron Windels. Mr. Dick’s all big and bad in the lead up to his showdown with Baron, but just as they’re about to lockup he pulls away at the very last second and bails outside for a rubdown from Malaysia. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE What a coward he is. COACH Tell us something we don’t already know about Baron Windels. COLE I’m talking about Mr. Dick! COACH A man’s man in every sense of the word. COLE :rolleyes: Because every Texan loves a good fight Baron goes out and finds him one, performing a DOUBLE COCONUT on Mr. Dick and Malaysia! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Who does that guy think he is, Rick Mahorn? This is 10 times worse than what he did, and you actually have fans cheering this act of violence against a woman. Disgusting. Bumbling around like a fool outside, Mr. Dick is tossed back in and hammered in the corner. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Though disoriented, he manages to grab onto the top rope after being sent for the ride and measures BW for a STIFF KICK…but Windels ducks and delivers an ATOMIC DROP that causes Mr. Dick to shoot off the ropes and back into a BIG BOOT! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Malaysia places Mr. Dick’s foot on the bottom rope. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Like the crowd, Baron doesn’t appreciate Malaysia’s interference either. The Lone Star Gunslinger issuing a warning to the ultimate combination of beauty of beatdowns. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him a tag has been made. CPA now the legal man, and he makes his presence felt, slamming Baron down hard onto the mat with a GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB applied from behind! COACH Brute strength right there, Mikey. That’s a 6’7”, 260-plus pound man CPA just tossed like a ragdoll. Instead of going for the pin CPA sees whether he can stomp Baron’s brains out. He fails but does a whole helluva lot of damage in the process, pleasing his partners and especially Malaysia because she loves pain and all. With BW hurting Mr. Dick asks for the tag and receives it. COLE Oh, yeah. What a big tough guy he is. Mr. Dick only accepting the tag after CPA did all the dirty work. JUST BEING A DICK, he signals for Malaysia to distract referee Nick Patrick so he can HEADBUTT BARON IN THE GROIN! The cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron just barely raising the shoulder. Mr. Dick rams Baron into the buckle and unloads, stomping the Lone Star Gunslinger to the seat of his pants and paint brushing him. He whips Baron across to the far corner and charges in for the big splash…but nobody’s home! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Cowboy Bebop elbows find their mark, and the giant dick, figuratively speaking, is fired in and over courtesy of a BAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP. Mr. Dick staggers to his feet and walks into a TOP ROPE LARIAT! ONE… TWO… Save by Detective Bosley! But he makes the mistake of staying in the ring too long as MEL swoops in and delivers his patented SWINGING BULLDOG! COACH What a poor message MEL’s sending the youth of America, Cole -- that it’s OK to disrespect authority. COLE Tango Bosley is a man who doesn’t deserve respect, not after he decided to accept Theodore Moneymaker’s dirty money. CPA returns as the legal man and immediately puts the boots to Baron. Then he busts out the heavy artillery, namely a POWERSLAM! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron still showing signs of life, which CPA looks to squeeze out by rolling the Lone Star Gunslingers onto his stomach, placing him in a reverse chinlock. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Whatever hope of a comeback Baron has are dashed by a boot to the spine of the back. Enter Detective Bosley to bait the CAE inside so he and his teammates can pummel the hell out of Baron. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE I know they do the best job they can, but these referees sometimes…it’s like they’re lost in there. COACH You’re just upset it’s one of your favorites getting the rough treatment. If it were the other way around you wouldn’t be whining. V.I.C.E. tag and Detective Bosley sets Baron for the NYPD-DT…but Windels blocks the suplex and serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" * DINGDINGDING * COLE Oh, just like that it’s over! COACH I’ve seen it and I still don’t believe it. One second Boz is in control, the next he’s flat on his back down for the count. The CAE jump on Baron in celebration only to be attacked by CPA who dumps them outside while Mr. Dick WHIPS the Lone Star Gunslinger with Malaysia’s CAT O‘NINE TAILS. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE This is uncalled for. What sore losers these guys are. OAOAST officials need to get off their ass and out here to stop this. COACH I bet they’re like me in believing this is what Baron gets for laying his hands on Malaysia. Now that was uncalled for. And here they come, but CPA and Malaysia keep them at bay. It’s only until after Mr. Dick has had fun that officials are let in to tend to Baron Windels, his back bloody from the lashings he received. COLE Fans, as Baron gets the help he needs, we’re going to take a quick time out and be back with more OAOAST action right after this. Edited July 24, 2008 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
