HD: AS Shill Center II

[Tony149 0]

[b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size]
[color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b]

Cue that fun summertime music with a western flair as the AS logo swoops across the screen. Awaiting us inside the Shill Center, OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan, still dressed like a tourist for those who care. 

BRANNIGAN
Hi again, everyone, or in honor of this year’s Lone Star State edition of Angleslam -- howdy! We are now just 2 weeks away from the hottest event of the summer. The date: Sunday night, August 31 live exclusively on pay-per-view from the sold out Alamodome in San Antonio. Since I last shilled Angleslam to you there have been plenty of new developments. And here’s one of them, as first reported this past weekend on the OAOAST Hot Newzline… 

[b][color="#FF0000"]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
…the former Lone Star Gunslingers will now duel in a Texas bull rope match! This coming on the heels of what occurred here last week when the Human Hard-On -- his term not mine -- got roped and hung! Well hung you can say. Mr. Dick hot under the short shorts following that incident, pushing hard for Josie Baker to suspend Baron Windels indefinitely! But our esteem new General Manager would have none of that, citing Mr. Dick’s own comments about this being the final opportunity for Baron Windels to prove he’s man enough to handle The Dick in her decision. Right now let’s hear from the original Lone Star Gunslinger, Baron Windels. 

The Alamo at nighttime serves as the backdrop for Baron Windels, a BULLROPE in hand. 

BARON
I see all those yoga classes did you real well, Jock, because you’re currently gagging on your own dick! On Sunday night, August 31 you and I will be joined at the wrist by this (holds up bull rope). There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. It’s gonna be you and me at the same place at the same time. Better yet, there won’t be none of this touch all 4 corners junk. You gotta earn it the old fashion way…by PINNING your man. I bet you must’ve cum yourself in fear when you first got the news because as you found out the hard way last week, you'll be stepping in the ring with a new and improved Baron Windels. One that no longer gives a damn about playing by the rules! In times of war people say take the moral highroad because stooping to the tactics of your enemy makes you no better. Well sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. We all got a dark side hidden deep down somewhere. Mr. Dick helped bring my out. Now it’s time to finish what I started. Last chance, huh? More like your last breath, Dick. 

We cut to Brannigan in the studio. 

BRANNIGAN
This “new” Baron Windels is one I’d be very worried about if I were Mr. Dick and all the other superstars here in the OAOAST. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia Nerdly[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
Announced right here last week, second generation superstar Jade Rodez to challenge reigning OAOAST Women’s Champion Malaysia Nerdly. It was only a little over a month ago that these two met, with Malaysia emerging victorious in dominate fashion. But after a mother/daughter talk, Krista Isadora Duncan has agreed to share the secrets of her success, if you will, with young Jade. Will that knowledge combined with youthful exuberance be enough to dethrone the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns? We’ll find out August 31. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE
TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & TK[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
Oh, my. You can expect the 65,000-plus strong expected to attend Angleslam to be on their edge of their seats for this one. With tables, ladders and chairs involved, Deadly Alliance members Reject & Thunderkid defend their title against Enterprise representatives the Beverly Hills Blonds and D*LUX. This is as much for revenge as it is for the tag team championship of the world. Allow me to refresh your memory. 

[b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color]
Last Week[/b]

[quote]However, the referee is still focused on the ring, where TK has Tyler set up in a front facelock, when Jade Rodez hops onto the apron!

COACH
Get her down, ref!

TK looks over at Jade, then drops Tyler to the mat and stalks to the apron.

COLE
And Jade had better get down now!

Jade points the finger in the face of TK, who grabs Jade by the wrist, then pulls her in and plants a big kiss on her!

COACH
Can you believe this?  Jade just [i]kissed[/i] TK!  Bitches'll go to any lengths to get the winner's purse!

COLE
:rolleyes:

Jade responds with a SLAP to TK's face!

COLE
She didn't kiss him that time!

Upon seeing this, Reject slides into the ring and grabs Jade by the hair, yanking her in over the top rope!

COLE
And look at this, Reject manhandling Jade Rodez!  Give me a break!

Jade holds her hair as she gets to her feet, and backs away from Reject, but backs right into TK, who pulls his fist back, causing her to fall to the mat, at which point Reject grabs her legs and starts to apply the R-LOCK!

COLE
Oh, no, don't do this!

Reject turns Jade over and locks in the hold!  Jade immediately begins to tap, until Tyler flies in with a clothesline to Reject!

COLE
And thank God, Tyler Bryant breaks it up!

Jade rolls out of the ring, and retreats to the locker room, as TK hits Tyler with a BICYCLE KICK, then Reject and TK lay the boots to him as the referee calls for the bell.

*DING DING DING*

TK drapes Simon's left arm over the top rope, then pushes him against the ropes with his foot and extends his right arm out.  Reject then climbs to the top rope.

COACH
Oh, this is an old Ole & Arn trick!

COLE
They could break the arm with this, dislocate the shoulder, who knows!

However, Molly Nerdly jumps onto the apron, and uses all her strength to shove Reject off the top rope!

COLE
:lol:  Molly just shoved Reject off the top rope, can you believe that?

COACH
No, she didn't!  She was up there tryin' to cop a feel on the R-Man, and it just startled him, he fell off!

Reject quickly gets to his feet, and locks eyes with Molly, who has just realized what she's done.

COACH
See, he's fine!

COLE
Yeah, but what about Molly?

TK grabs Molly by the arm and drags her through the ropes, as Reject approaches her.  Reject then nods at TK...who picks up Molly in a hangman's hold!

COLE
Oh no, not this!

COACH
OK...I gotta admit now, this is going a little far.

Reject gives one last stomp to Simon, then turns around and does the "sizing her up" hand gesture, then backs up...

COLE
Oh no...

...and LAYS A ROUNDHOUSE KICK INTO THE ABDOMEN OF MOLLY NERDLY!!!

COLE
OH MY GOD.

Molly drops to the mat and turns to her side, holding her ribs while screaming and sobbing uncontrollably.

COLE
Get some EMTs down there, RIGHT NOW.

Reject walks over to the main camera and gives an evil stare.[/quote]

BRANNIGAN
(shaking head)
Deplorable! As somebody who’s done his fair share of shady things in the past, there’s no way I’d ever lay my hand on a woman unless it was a sanction match. I’m probably not alone in hoping the Blonds and D*LUX can put their differences aside, at least for a short while, to teach Reject and TK a lesson. I get sick just thinking about what they did. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
And I have a feeling a lot of people will be sick after seeing the match dubbed the Devil‘s Playground for its barbaric stipulations. This one certainly isn’t for the faint of heart. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE
NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
For the revived Intercontinental Title, as order by HeldDOWN~! General Manager Josie Baker, Colin Maguire Jr. and Jereme Grey will look to finally settle their score in a no disqualification bout. If fighting for pride and the title wasn’t enough already, Evelyn Maguire will serve as guest referee! Needless to say, Colin was none too pleased about that. 

The music cues as Brannigan wraps it up.

BRANNIGAN
As always, be sure to visit our website daily and stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more information as it becomes available. I’ll see you again in two weeks to shill Angleslam one last time before the big event on Sunday night, August 31. Don’t wait till the last minute, though. Call your local cable or satellite company and order Angleslam right now!