HD: Final AS Shill Center

[Tony149 0]

To go on sometime after Baron's promo please.

 

[b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size]
[color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b]

The music plays, the AS logo scrolls across the screen and OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan is ready to go. 

BRANNIGAN
Your final Angleslam shill is brought to you by the OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE~!, where the gossip is [I]so hot[/I] you need to wear ear muffs when calling! We are now only 3 nights away from the hottest event of the summer. This sizzling summer spectacular has been sold out for weeks, but you can still catch all the action live exclusively on pay-per-view. So make that call right now if you haven’t already done so. You don’t want to miss out on over 3 hours of nonstop entertainment featuring 9 incredible matches and a double main event!

[b][color="#FF0000"]3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH
SPECIAL TROUBLESHOOTING REFEREE? 
Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & Abdullah Nerdly vs. Zack Malibu & Leon Rodez[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
Our first main event has the attention of the entire wrestling community.  The Usual Suspects, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, back together on pay-per-view to meet the unholy trinity of Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly in a match made in corporate greed! By now you know the story about this one. The Metrosexual Monster Bohemoth originally scheduled to join his fellow In Crowd members in battle, but he now faces an even bigger battle of his own after being accused of sexual assault by Mackenzie DeCenzo. A very serious accusation, to say the least. But as we heard earlier in the program, General Manager Josie Baker will assign a special troubleshooting referee to provide as level a playing field as possible with Bo out indefinitely. Let us not forget, it was Josie Baker who selected Abdullah Nerdly as the special referee for Zack Malibu’s match against Nathanial Black here two weeks ago and we know how that turned out. Her decision to be announced before we go off the air, so stay tuned for that. 

[b][color="#0000FF"]OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP
60 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH
Brickston w/Vitamin X vs. Tha Puerto Rican ©[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
In the second main event, reigning OAOAST Champion Tha Puerto Rican will defend the richest prize in our sport against the awesome force that is Brickston, led by the man The Champ ended the career of at the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]RIVERWALK INVITATIONAL BATTLE ROYAL[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
Kicking off the show, the Riverwalk Invitational 20 man over the top rope battle royal. Some of the participants already signed for this special attraction include the return of...

Brock Ausstin
Denzel Spencer
Reggie Lamont
"After Hours" Felix Strutter
Jumbo
Deuce Deuce Bigelow
Jamie O'Hara
The Christ Air Express
Panic at the Disco
The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew
James Blonde
Faqu
Spanish Fly
Cuban Wall
Mr. Boricua

BRANNIGAN
...plus two surprise entrants! 

[b][color="#0000FF"]OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia ©[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
The Women’s title will also be on the line at Angleslam. It was just last week that we saw the kind of training Jade Rodez has gone through to prepare mentally and physically for her title bout against the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. Just being around the company J-Ro hangs with makes her mentally tough in my view!

[color="#FF0000"][b]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH
Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels[/b][/color]

BRANNIGAN
I for one still cannot believe what took place earlier tonight in regards to this one. Baron Windels was to join me for a live interview when he was ambushed by Mr. Dick backstage and--and... well, I’d rather not dignify that vile act. 

[color="#0000FF"][b]OAO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
TRIPLE THREAT TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH
Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & Thunderkid ©[/b][/color]

BRANNIGAN
In what could very well be the show stealer at Angleslam, for the One & Only World tag team championship, Reject & Thunderkid of the Deadly Alliance face the challenge of D*LUX and these men representing the Enterprise, "Box-Office" Simon Singleton and "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard, the Beverly Hills Blonds.

Instead of the Alamo we get the BHB CG backdrop. The famous Hollywood sign redone as Beverly Hills with Blonds underneath, stars shining bright around. Standing tall, Simon and Ned in their trademark silver vests.

NED
Do blondes really have more fun? That’s been the age old question, and if you would’ve asked us a few weeks ago the answer would’ve been hell yeah. But ever since Reject laid his hands on our assistant, we’ve given being the hottest tag team in sports entertainment a whole new meaning, because we’re still hot over what he did to Molly. 

SIMON
I mean, good golly. The club hopping, the womanizing, the orgy parties have taken a backseat to a rededication of our craft. Friends and family have long come up to us asking when Ned and I were gonna do more than collect a six-figure paycheck from Theodore Moneymaker and become serious about being tag team champions again. Well that time has come. Sunday night at Angleslam we’re gonna put our names in the record books as having the most tag title reigns in OAOAST history. And Reject, if you think about laying your hands on Molly again, we got 3 words for you. 

[i]"CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"[/i]

Molly jumps into view and dances along with the BHB to MC Hammer's early ‘90s smash hit, all rocking parachute pants. Then it’s back to business at the Shill Center. 

[color="#FF0000"][b]MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS
Krista Isadora Duncan vs. Landon Maddix[/b][/color]

BRANNIGAN
I’m sure both participants in the OAOAST Championship bout will have a close eye on this one, to determine who gets $500,00 and a guaranteed contract at their title whenever they so wish, it’s the GLADDiator vs. the self-proclaimed "Savior of the OAOAST" Landon Maddix. 

[b][color="#FF0000"]DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND MATCH[/color]
[color="#0000FF"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
Following his [I]despicable[/I] stunt two weeks ago, James Cone managed to get one of the stipulations to the Devil’s Playground match removed. Here’s how it all happened. 

[b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color]
August 15, 2008[/b]

[quote]PHOENIX
(talking over the boos of the crowd) Excuse me! Sly...we made a deal last week. I get you an opponent, you wrestle the opponent no-DQ, and if you lose, I get to remove something from the Devil's Playground. I searched high and low, all across the world to get you someone big and bad...the tallest, the heaviest, the toughest, the roughest...and none of them were good enough. I'm smarter than everyone here...I couldn't do it. I couldn't just go and get some badass because you would expect it. I'm taking you out of your gameplan. Without further ado, meet your opponent for this evening!

Out comes...a GIRL SCOUT?!?!?

COLE
What on God's Green Earth...

Sly's jaw drops and he looks at the referee and mouths "Is this legal?"

PHOENIX
Here she is...(leans down) What's your name?

GIRL
My name's Mindy!

PHOENIX
Mindy, how old are you?

MINDY
I'm EIGHT YEARS OLD!

PHOENIX
You hear that, Sly? (Stands back up) Eight whole years old! Sly Sommers, tonight...are you man enough to beat up this eight-year-old girl!

The crowd boos Phoenix, as he sends the little girl to the ring. The little girl skips to the ring with a big smile on her face as she carries her cookies in a box, then is helped into the ring by the referee.

COACH
This is the weirdest thing ever. Sly Sommers has to fight a little girl in a No-DQ match.

*BELL RINGS*

Sly bends down to her eye level. The camera gets in close to hear what he's in saying...

SLY
I won't fight you. I don't know what the mean man on the top of the ramp paid you to do this, but let's just go backstage and I'll get you autographs, does that sound good?

MINDY
Okay! Hey mister, do you want one of my cookies?

SLY
Don't mind if I...

Sly opens the box and a flame shoots out, hitting him right in the face! He goes down, holding his eye, and Mindy jumps on him for the cover...

ONE!


TWO!


THREE!

*DING DING*

BUFFER
Your winner...um...MINDY?

PHOENIX
Bro, bro...that was awesome! Feelin' the heat? *cackles* (Referees and officials rush past Phoenix, holding wet towels to put on Sly's face) Dude, I'm going to have so much fun watching the replay. (Phoenix slides in the ring, hands Mindy money) Thanks, sweetie. Go on, run to the back...I got some of my friends to pay for some of those delicious cookies too! *giggles to himself as Mindy runs off* Bro, I come out on top yet again. Because of that...HOT little number, I get to remove one of the stipulations from that silly Devil's Playground match we're having at Angleslam. Personally, I don't like glass...so let's get rid of that whole deal with the lighttubes in the trash can hanging from the ceiling of the cell. Capice? *giggles to himself as the referees ask him to leave*[/quote]

BRANNIGAN
You can imagine the complaints OAOAST headquarters was flooded with after that one. Last but certainly not least, rounding out the card another big grudge match. After locking lips with her brother’s arch rival, just how impartial will the lovely Evelyn Maguire be officiating the match between Junior and Jereme Grey? 

[b][color="#FF0000"]OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
GUEST REFEREE EVELYN MAGUIRE
Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey ©[/color][/b]

BRANNIGAN
The days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds are ticking down. For all you moms and dads out there, with the little ones heading back to school, enjoy one last summer family activity with Angleslam. Don’t be left out in the heat. Stay in, crank up the AC and purchase the 2008 edition of Angleslam live exclusively on pay-per-view! Wait a minute, I’m being told General Manager Josie Baker has made a decision in regards to the special troubleshooting referee in the handicap match apart of our double main event. I believe she’s standing by in her office. So without any further ado, let’s go to Josie Baker. 

Inside Josie‘s office, she places her signature on a document before putting out her cigarette, then looks into the camera. 

JOSIE
After careful consideration, I have concluded there’s only one person qualified to officiate a match-up the caliber of that signed featuring Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez against Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly. This person arguably knows the OAOAST better than anyone in the world, including Zack Malibu himself, and is someone who has both the trust of fans and OAOAST management alike. It’s for those reasons I have selected Tony Brannigan to serve as the special troubleshooting referee for one-half of our double main event at Angleslam. That is all. 

BRANNIGAN
:o

COACH
Tony Brannigan?!

COLE
I don’t think he can believe it himself. 

Suddenly THEODORE MONEYMAKER appears next to Brannigan at the Shill Center. 

MONEYMAKER
Cousin! Great to see you again. I was just in the neighborhood and though I’d drop by to congratulate you on landing the most coveted job opening this side of the office of president of the United States. In the time it was announced a special referee would be assigned to the unholy trinity’s match, as you so amusingly called us, I heard Josie Baker’s phone was ringing off the hook. The calls, the text messages from people of all walks of life badly wanting that gig, including Fred Thompson but he jumped in too late. BWAHAHA! Important as your job is, like being president of the United States, it comes with a lot of pressure. But I don’t want the fact we’re family to interfere with you calling the match down the middle. 
(pulls out roll of $100 bills)
After all, your job is as easy as... *stuffing bills in Brannigan’s breast pocket * ... 1-2-3. Of course for [I]extra incentives[/I], you’d then raise my team’s hands in victory. Again, congratulations, cousin. BWAHAHAHAHA! 

Moneymaker exits. Brannigan counts the bills stuffed in his suit, $300 to symbolize counting 1-2-3 at Angleslam.  

COLE
In his own twisted way, did Theodore Moneymaker just offer BRIBE MONEY to Tony Brannigan?! 

COACH
It’s just like you to think that, Mikey, the little conspiracy theorist that you are. What I saw was a family reunion. Two men putting their differences aside to co-exist in a dangerous world. If only Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez could understand that concept. 

COLE
To recap very quickly, ladies and gentlemen. Tony Brannigan has been named the special troubleshooting referee for The Usual Suspects-Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abullah Nerdly match at Angleslam, and pretty much received a bribe from the Billion Dollar Heir. 

COACH
There you go again. For all we know Teddy owned debt to his cousin. 

COLE
Yeah, sure. Thursday night will continue to be HeldDOWN~! after this timeout.

Edited August 27, 2008 by Tony149