HD: Landon/Krista debate

[King Cucaracha 0]

COACH
What's poppin' everybody. The Coach here, feeling real happy right now, because as you can see Michael Cole ain't sat next to me. One day, every Thursday will be like this. *sighs* One day.... anyway, he's up in the ring for the debate.



COLE
Ladies and gentlemen, we are just three nights away from the rootinest, tootinest party of the Summer, AngleSlam 2008! And by the end of AngleSlam, one OAOAST superstar will be five hundred thousand dollars richer and in possession of a guaranteed World Title shot any time they so choose. It's the final match in the Money In The Bank Tournament. And here tonight in Corpus Christi, in the spirit of election fever, we're going to open the floor to our two finalists to debate this important contest. Two of the most out-spoken personalities in the OAOAST today, set for their first time ever one on one meeting. It's the Money In The Bank Debate. And at this time, allow me to introduce our first Money In The Bank finalist... the first and only Money In The Bank winner in OAOAST history, who cashed his contract in to become OAOAST World Champion... ladies and gentlemen, the leader of Cucaracha Internacional, LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX!


[b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b]

[i]...WAAAAAHHHHH...

*DUM DUM*[/i]

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

All eyes turn to the entrance way as "Megalomaniac" powers through the PA system. And the boos echo loud and long as not only Landon and not only Megan Skye, but also Nathaniel Black, James Blonde and Faqu emerge! With a smug grin on his face, Landon poses with the members of Cucaracha Internacional assembled behind him, wearing a smart looking suit for this special occassion. Landon waves and shakes unwilling hands like he were on the campaign trail heading for his podium, looking mighty pleased with himself. And here's why...


[b][COLOR=orange]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/b][/COLOR]

[QUOTE]Landon makes it over to Megan, shaking her lightly. And when she doesn't respond, he immediately gives up and starts to route through the purse of Megan, pulling a set of brass knuckles out.

COLE
Landon's not checking on her at all, he just wanted a foreign object! And he's got one!

Alf then pulls a BARBED WIRE BAT from under the ring!

COACH
Uh-oh, and so does Alf!

Landon sneakily loads the knucks into his kneepad, as more referees make their way out to force Reject away. Alf rolls into the ring, and shoves Megan to the floor with his foot, then waits for Landon to get up. When he does, Alf raises the bat in the air...but Landon delivers a knee to the gut!

COLE
OH! Landon with a knee to the stomach, and remember that kneepad is loaded!

Landon then scoops the doubled-up Alf onto his shoulders...and delivers the GO 2 SLEEP~!!!!!11111

COLE
And now the GTS, right onto the loaded kneepad!

The referee finally turns around, and slides back inside as Landon covers...

1...











2...











3!!!

*DING DING DING*

COLE
And Landon Maddix is going to AngleSlam!QUOTE]


Landon shows all the gentlemanly conduct he lacked last week as he allows Megan to climb the ring steps before him. The rest of Cucaracha Internacional follow behind Landon and his grand spinning entrance into the ring, all except Todd Cortez who is conspicuous by his absence.

COLE
And ladies and gentlemen his opponent this Sunday in San Antonio! She is...

MADDIX
Ahem!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Cole looks surprised at being interrupted, not risking looking angry about it with both Faqu and Black glaring back at him.

MADDIX
Now I know this is supposed to be a 'debate', but before we bring Krista on out here, I'd like the opportunity to get some things of my chest. You know, before there's anyone to interrupt or generally distract me. First things first, thank you for introducing me as the first and only Money In The Bank winner. It's a good point and it bears repeating. I know what it takes to be Mr. Money In The Bank. I cashed in that contract, beat Zack Malibu, won the OAOAST World Championship, became the only man to have ever held the World Championships of both this company and MY company, the SWF. And I'm one victory away from doing it all again... and having 500 grand in my back pocket while I do so. Not literally you understand. That'd be pretty risky.

COLE
Of course.

MADDIX
But there is one thing you forgot Michael Cole. See, there is 500,000 dollars up for grabs and there is a Money In The Bank contract awaiting the winner. But, there's something else on offer, at least for me. And that's 15% shares of TSM.

Landon grins at the very thought.

MADDIX
If I beat Krista, Theodore Moneymaker has promised to stump up those shares. And much as I can't wait to see his face once that happens, that's not the main appeal. Well, they're kinda tied first and second. See, it's those TSM shares that are going to guarantee my victory this Sunday night. Because with those shares comes a future. A brighter future for me and a brighter future for an entire company. That's because, after I beat Krista this Sunday night, the very first thing I'm going to do once I walk into that TSM boardroom, is I'm going to ensure that the SWF gets back where it belongs with a national television deal!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Taken aback by the boos, Landon puts his hands on his hips and stares out into the crowd. James Blonde quickly jumps to his defence and waves at them all to shut up...



...but the noise only kicks up another gear as "Electric Feel" hits to belatedly bring out our counter-debater!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

Sans dancers, Krista makes her way out on the entrance way, but lacks none of her usual sparkle despite having no match to enter for. Krista takes a sip from her martini glass before sauntering the rest of the way down to the ring, loosening up her vocal chords with some throat exercises on the way. Showing no fear of those in the ring already, she climbs to the apron and wraps her long legs around the third rope. Offering the fans a prime photo opportunity she bends her entire body upside down, blowing a kiss to the cameras as Blonde struggles to retrieve his eyeballs. Landon seems quite fixed on the sight as well, until he notices Megan folding her arms staring at him.

COLE
Ladies and gentlemen, KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN!!

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

KRISTA
Yeah yeah, they know who I am genius.

"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"
"KRIS - TA!"

KRISTA
See. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong, but debates usually have two or more persons involved, no? So if you're quite finished with your merry little monologue, let's bring out the Snoop Dizzle and get this party started, huh?

COLE
Uh, Krista?

KRISTA
What is it Mister 'Hey, Incase You're Blind Or Have Never Opened Up A Newspaper Or Watched A TV Channel, This Is Krista Isadora Duncan, She's Kinda Famous Apparantly But She Still Needs Identification, Even Though You're Already Cheering For Her'?

COLE
Well, there's no Snoop Dogg tonight. I'm moderating.

KRISTA
Really? Ouch, there goes my plans of half-assing this and letting him carry the entertainment side of proceedings. Very wizzle then Micheal Coleizzle... really, it would have been so much better coming from him... what have you got for me Landon? Go ahead and debate me.

MADDIX
Wel...

KRISTA
Okay that sounds like a long one, so I'll start instead. You stink and you're not even Spanish!

COLE
Landon, your rebuttal?

A glare is cast Cole's way for encouraging the debate in that direction.

MADDIX
You know what, this was what I was afraid of. You with an open microphone on live TV, out here solely to entertain yourself and try and make me look like an idiot. Way to be predictable, Krista. Instead of debating this match, you're probably thinking over in your head and many possible puns you can make about me and 'mass debates'. And everybody laughs and you laugh and the people on the recieving end die a little on the inside. Well that's cute and all, but it's not going to work on me. If you think you can come out here and emasculate me just by going off on your funny little tangents, you're going to be here a long time. Because I've got way, WAY too much success in my life to fall back on. While you're here week in and week out bemoaning the OAOAST and the people employed here, continuing to pick up a wage from the exact same source they do, I'm busy being the Commissioner of my own wrestling company, the SWF. I rose up from smart-alec kid to World Champion to Commissioner within about 5 years. So far, you're stuck at stage one. And I dare say your days of being a kid are long gone, considering you've got a daughter on this roster old enough to compete herself. Oh yeah, see, my OAOAST history isn't great, I admit. But I'm nothing if not prepared. And I've done my research on you in the past week. And...

KRISTA
Uh, hold up real quick like... you've done research on me?

MADDIX
Well, of course. It's what good wrestlers do on their opponents.

KRISTA
So, until then, you knew, what exactly...

MADDIX
Next to nothing. You weren't really in my considerations, let's say.

KRISTA
...you do remember how you sorta, kinda employed me for one show for this wrestling company you're so proud of though?

Landon's eyes widen a little.

MADDIX
Well... yeah, of course I do! I mean, I didn't know ALL of your background then, but...

KRISTA
But you signed some unknown woman from the OAOAST to wrestle a match for ya, for some buttload of money, despite knowing next to nothing about her? Boy, that must be some super duper wrestling company you've got there. And to think, you guys don't even have a television contract anymore! How can this be!?

MADDIX
Look! The point is, I've done more research on you now than I had when I employed you...

KRISTA
Why of course, that doesn't sound incredibly naive or dumb of you whatsoever, please go on.

MADDIX
...and I know your style. You embarrass people. You mock them and taunt them until they're stripped of all of their confidence and that's when you beat them. But it's going to be a long, long night for you if plan on tearing away all my confidence. See, you've had it easy around here for far too long. People have let you have your way and play around with your irreverent attitude, just because you've got a nice rack, a cute BUTT...

Landon catches sight of Megan glaring at him again.

MADDIX
...and some other attributes I won't go into. And everybody's afraid to do anything about it, because you're a girl. And a famous girl at that. You're so used to getting your own way, getting everything you want with a click of the fingers and a flash of the gold card. Where-as, I've had to work for everything I've got today. Which as I've already alluded to is a whole lot. So, it's not going to work on me. See, I'm not some sex-crazed teenager with a crush on anything blonde and out of a training bra. And I'm not a sexually confused woman with curiousities either. The only thing I care about...

KRISTA
YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWN!

MADDIX
Excuse me?

KRISTA
Sorry, I didn't have to actually yawn, but I kinda had to interrupt you there with some sort of statement of boredom. Hate to break it to you Landy, but I've heard it all before, a hundred times or more, ore, ore-ore. 'I only care about the title', 'I'm really really focused', 'I'm not going to look at your cute little BUTT'. Yadda yadda yadda, sincerely every poor sap who's ever thought they could beat little ol' sexual predator Krista. Wake me when you're done repeating this nonsense. Look, lemme fill in the blanks, for all those pages of KID 101: How To Be Darned Fabulous And Make Truckloads Of Cash Money In The Process you may have missed if it were an actual book and not something I just made up. Page 142, Chapter 7, Line 17- "You will look at my curvy BUTT." Everybody does. And truth be told, if I weren't so used to the general creepiness of a pro-wrestling locker room by now I'd probably be kinda bothered by that. Maybe I should be now, that I think about it. But then again, I've worked hard too. I feel your pain Landy. I've worked so, so hard to sculpt these buns of steel! And nobody ever helped me out! I had to do it all on my own! I had to overcome so many obstacles! I had to team with Bruce Blank and put out direct to DVD wrestling shows twice a month! It's okay, it's okay, your pain is my pain, we are two of a kind, you and me in a long and lonesome world! My BUTT is like the SWF. In so many, very obvious ways. And as far as me getting my own way just by fluttering my eyelashes or by being a real famous Hollywood type does..... well, yeah, you're absolutely right. That's why everybody wants to be me and everybody just gotta see me. Am I supposed to be ashamed of being really famous and really hot? Because, I dunno, I'm just not feeling it. That's the stuff that gets me out of bed in the morning. My big bed. In a big house, next to famous people. Knowing I'm going to look fabulous doing it. I know this as fact and I hold these facts as self-evident. Just like the fact you're going to get distracted and you're going to lose to me. All these things always happen. Always. It's all so predictable. That's why I try to have extra fun with it! By the way, I wish my girlfriend was as well-behaved as yours is. She hasn't interrupted us or covered herself in chocolate body paint once yet! Sit doggy, sit. Good girl.

MADDIX
You only wish you could get a woman like this.

Krista stares blankly for a second.

KRISTA
Didn't I just say that? I could have sworn I just said that. This is no fun.

MADDIX
You know what... I'm jealous. Is that what you want to hear? I'm jealous of your perfect Hollywood life and your predictable success. But I suggest you make the most of it. Because things are about to get a little less predictable.

KRISTA
No they're not. That's why it's so predictable. Because it's so predictable.

MADDIX
...what?

KRISTA
I'm going to beat you on Sunday. That's pretty much point here. No idea why they figured I'd need a podium to say that. Not that I'm complaining. *picks martini up from podium and swigs from it* Good sauce. Want a sip?

Offered the drink, Faqu begins to curiously go for it but Landon waves him off.

MADDIX
I can see why you'd say that. My research tells me you don't get pinned very often.

KRISTA
If ever.

MADDIX
So, I'd imagine it'd come as a pretty big shock if you did.

KRISTA
But, I don't. We're going round in circles again. If this doesn't start being fun soon I'm gonna need your girlfriend to start undressing or something.

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

MADDIX
Well then Krista, prepare for a shock.

KRISTA
You mean you're gonna let her!? Awesome! Let me just get my nipples erect real quick.

MADDIX
No, no...

KRISTA
No, honestly, it won't take a second.

MADDIX
No you dumb bimbo, I'm not listening to anything you're saying anymore!

KRISTA
This really is no fun. Who's dumb idea is this? If this is what being World Champion is gonna be like then I'm gonna have to start carrying two martini glasses. Or some opium.

MADDIX
You're not going to [i]be[/i] World Champion, so don't worry. I'm going to make history this Sunday. $500,000... Money In The Bank... TSM shares... and a pinfall over the might Krista Isadora Duncan.

KRISTA
I swear, we keep going over this and over this. This is the worst debate I've ever been apart of. You've soured me on the entire debate process. Congratulations!

MADDIX
You're not dealing with anyone like you've ever dealt with before Krista. You're dealing with me now. Landon Maddix. And Landon Maddix... always has a plan.

With a motion towards Krista, suddenly Cucaracha Internacional start to move her way! The crowd suddenly get a little antsy and warn Krista that danger is coming, something she's acutely aware of as Faqu, Blonde and Black start to try and surround her, driving Michael Cole out of the ring to safety. Krista stands her ground though and despite being on edge and ready for an attack should it come she doesn't leave her podium.

KRISTA
You see, this is all so predictable! I could have seen this coming a mile away. And I could have planned to do this...

Krista suddenly lunges to her left and catches Blonde with a thrust kick to the midsection! She then puts her half-drunk martini to good use in the eyes of Faqu! But as she goes for Nathaniel Black, he lunges in and DESTROYS Krista with a Lariat!!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COACH
OH YEAH! Did you see that coming Krista!?

Landon smirks as he calmly sets his podium aside, watching as Blonde and Black puts the boots to the helpless Krista. Wiping the alcohol from his eyes, the raging Faqu joins in for a few stomps before Landon starts directing traffic to his Internacional contingent. James Blonde quickly grabs Krista's podium, or what was Krista's podium at least, dragging it over to a corner of the ring and setting it as best possible against the turnbuckles. As he does so, Black reaches down and grabs hold of Krista's limp wrist, with Blonde's help dragging Krista so she's sat up against the podium.

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

COLE
What the hell is the meaning of this?

COACH
Where the hell did you come from?

COLE
I came from the ring, before Maddix set the wolves on Krista! This is ridiculous! This is a set-up!

COACH
That doesn't explain why you had to come back here.

With Krista propped up, Faqu is directed across the ring by the ace communicator James Blonde. Eyes lighting up, Faqu breathes heavily as he lines Krista up. Pounding his massive chest, he lets out and loud cry of "SAMOA!" before charging in, Black stepping out of the way at the last second as Faqu plows across the ring...




*KE-RUNCH!!!!*

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"


...AND DEMOLISHES THE PODIUM, VIA HIS BACKSIDE DRIVING INTO KRISTA'S HEAD!!!!!

COLE
OH MY GOD!! THEY COULD HAVE BROKEN HER SKULL!!

The podium collapses like flat-pack furniture around Krista, who is completely out cold. Faqu continues to pound his chest dominantly until Landon finally steps forward and calls off the attack. Not out of compassion for Krista or a sense of a job well done however, but to get a piece of the action himself. Landon drags Krista out from the pile of wood and picks her lifeless body up off the mat, KID completely dead-weight. Holding her up, Landon then ducks low and sweeps her up into a fireman's carry.

COLE
Come on, enough is enough! Put her down!

COACH
Nah, that just wouldn't be predictable!

Parading Krista around the ring, Maddix sets himself dead centre... and throws her up, CRACKING HER ON THE WAY DOWN WITH THE GO TO SLEEP!!! Krista folds to the canvas like the podium, right at Landon's feet. And with a big smile on his face, Landon calls James Blonde over.

COLE
Now what!?

Lateral press by Landon...



BLONDE
ONE!




BLONDE
TWO!




BLONDE
THREE!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
HAHA, HE DID IT! Landon pins Krista!

COLE
Oh, come on!

Blonde leaps up in celebration and raises Landon's arm in victory to applause from Black and Megan. Looking down at Krista, Landon smiles with renewed confidence as "Megalomaniac" then strikes up and thankfully, Cucaracha Internacional are given their cue to leave. As they do so, Landon continues to look down at Krista, before placing his foot across her chest and striking another triumphant pose just to get his point across.

COACH
Talk about sending a message, there ya go! Who says nobody can pin Krista Isadora Duncan?

COLE
You can't seriously consider that a pinfall, this cherade doesn't prove anything!

COACH
It proves that Landon can cover Krista for a 3 count and stand over her in victory, since that's what happened. It happened once, it can happen again. It happened tonight, so it can damn sure happen on Sunday! I guess things aren't quite as predictable as they seem, are they Krista?

Still grinning to himself Landon leaves the ring with Megan holding the ropes open for him, jumping to the floor and walking after his Cucaracha Internacional team-mates. Krista is still yet to stir in the ring and a couple of referees brave the run to the ring to check on her. Watching all this, Landon holds up three fingers to the boos being directed at him, his message sent loud and clear.