King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted September 5, 2008 COLE Alright, up next two of the OAOAST's big boys do battle. But first, let's take a look back at the trails and tribulations that The Meterosexual Monster Bohemoth has been put through in the past few weeks. [QUOTE] MAGGIE NERDLY (V.O, from OAOAST.com clip) A huge match just announced for AngleSlam 2008, as the team of Christian Wright, Theodore Moneymaker and Abdullah Abir Nerdly... [i]The video package starts with clips of The Enterprise's main duo, CW and Moneymaker over their tenure as a team, including their brief OAOAST Tag Title reign, as well as them with Abdullah in recent weeks.[/i] MAGGIE NERDLY (V.O, from OAOAST.com clip) Will team up to take on In Crowd members, The Usual Suspects, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez... [i]Shots of The Usual Suspects hanging out then leads to some clips of Bohemoth, in action, smashing through various OAOAST opponents.[/i] JOSH MATTHEWS (V.O, from OAOAST.com clip) ...and their partner, The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth! ------------------------------------ [COLOR=orange][OAOAST HeldDOWN; August 21st 2008; Mobile, Alabama][/COLOR] [i]The background music turns more moody.[/i] MATTHEWS Bo, you heard what your old running buddy just said. Any thoughts? BOHEMOTH Christian Wright is full of crap. Always has been always will be. I said it to Zack a few weeks ago, Theodore Moneymaker is talking himself into an ass whupping, Christian just did the same, and Abdullah's going to get him one to. Come August 31st me, Leon and Zack are gonna deliver in full. And I'm no Reject, but if Mackenzie keeps on the way she's keeping on, I can't be held responsible for what happens to her. With that interesting warning, Bo puts on his sunglasses and returns to the In Crowd Locker room [i]~~LATER THAT NIGHT~~[/i] We cut backstage to a darkened section of the hallway, almost entirely empty of human life. The lone soul present is Mackenzie DeCenzo. Yet she isn't the confident, cool, and stylish woman we typically know her as. Now her evening gown is in tattered rags, torn and ripped as if someone demonic animal burrowed its claws into her. Tears flow heavy and freely down her reddened eyes, one of which has been blackened by violence. She staggers down the hallway with her hands on the wall, weeping, wailing and shouting, pleading for help. As no one comes to her aid, she finally sinks downward, burying her crying face into the cold tile floor. COACH What...what...what happened to Mackenzie?! ------------------------------------ [COLOR=orange][OAOAST HeldDOWN; August 28th 2008; Corpus Christi, Texas][/COLOR] The background music gets moodier still! Footage of Bohemoth and Leon Rodez entering the arena and being confronted by GM Josie Baker and police officers plays, slightly slowed down and in black and white. BOHEMOTH What is this? ~~ JOSIE What is this? What the hell do you think it is? This is me not wanting you anywhere near an OAOAST event. This is me wanting to wind up and smack you in the face right now with your walking papers, that's what this is. BOHEMOTH What are you talking about? What's going on? JOSIE Don't try to play mister innocent, when you're almost three hundred pounds it doesn't work that well. You know what you did. ~~ JOSIE Leon, your good friend, Bohemoth is [b]a rapist. A rapist. A rapist. A rapist.[/b] [i]Those two words echo as Bohemoth's frozen expression of shocks in the arms of the cops fades into The House Of Worship later that night.[/i] BOSLEY ~~the perp in our case thought he could beat the system by using such extra precautions. But it’s a classic case of million dollar body, 10 cent brain, because after the brutal assault a key piece of evidence was left behind, the contents of which my partner CPA holds in that brown bag. ABDULLAH You don’t mean...? BOSLEY DNA evidence that conclusively proves the apprehended perp committed the assault, yes. NOW HOW ‘BOUT SOME PROPS FOR CRACKING THE CASE? WHAT A FUCKIN’ RUSH! GIVE THE ALPHA MALE OF THE GROUP SOME!!! ------------------------------------ [COLOR=blue][OAOAST ANGLESLAM 2008; August 31st 2008; San Antonio, Texas][/COLOR] [i]Less moody music now plays over brief clips from the Zack Malibu/Leon Rodez vs. Wright/Moneymaker/Abdullah match from AngleSlam, before finally...[/i] *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH OH NO! COLE OH YEAH!! The crowd EXPLODE as BOHEMOTH comes sprinting out of the entrance way and to the ring! Every member of The Enterprise, not least Mackenzie, is in shock as he then hits the ring and mows down CW with a clothesline! And CPA with a clothesline! Moneymaker is as you'd expect long-gone, shepherding Mackenzie to safety. Wright makes it out relatively unscathed as well, thanks to a second Bo clothesline up and over the top. Which leaves CPA, to be scooped up and planted with the Front Spinebuster!! ~~ Mackenzie, CW and Moneymaker all look in shock as Bo tears his dress shirt apart sending buttons flying into the audience. Climbing on the ropes he points the finger towards the trio in the aisleway with wild eyes. ~~ BOHEMOTH (to Moneymaker and co.) YOU! *throat slit* Bohemoth scoops Abdullah up in his arms like a small child, before swinging the soothsayer around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! Oh, The Enterprise are in some deep, deep trouble! Christian comforts the distraught Mackenzie, as Bohemoth stands tall in the ring and the video fades to a close. [/QUOTE] "I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord And I've been waiting for this moment for all my life Oh lord Oh lord" As we return to the arena, Nonpoint's "In The Air Tonight" hits. With a sullen expression on his face, Detective Bosley walks through the entrance way and looks out into the crowd as he nonchalantly lights up a cigarette, flagrantly flying in the face of at least one law I'm sure. Puffing on the smoke he strolls to the ring making boasts about 'dishing out justice' on the way. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Miami, Florida... weighing in at two hundred and sixty five pounds. The undisputed Alpha Male of the OAOAST... DETECTIVE TTAAAAAAAAANNGGOOOOOOOOOOOO... BBOOOOOOSSSSSSLLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYYYY!!! Dropping his cigarette on the (luckily inflammable) rampway, Bosley stubs it out. One fan dares to accuse him of littering and to write himself a ticket, earning him a glare from the Detective. COACH There he is, the man who cracked the case, the Alpha Male! 'Alpha Tango'! Which in cop speak is AT... which... doesn't stand for anything or have any reference to Bosley at all... but, I just felt like pointing it out. COLE Bosley may call himself the alpha male but I think his opponent tonight would having to say about that. COACH Please! Bohemoth is no alpha male, he's a predatory male. There's a big difference. Well, actually, not much of a difference come to think of it. But a difference none the less! Bosley paces the ring and starts to get fired up as he does so, with the sounds of "BO - HE - MOTH!" ringing in his ears. The hostile atmosphere just seems to get the former New York cop going though and he gets in referee Nick Patrick's face about the hold-up in his opponent's entrance. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE The roof just came off of this place! To a huge ovation Bohemoth comes storming out from the back, wild eyes fixed on Bosley as he marches down the aisle. BUFFER And, his opponent hails from Greenville, South Carolina! Weighing two hundred, eighty four pounds... a member of the In Crowd... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Bo slides into the ring and an instant confrontation is headed off by the referee as the bigman comes in raging. Unable to get his hands on Bosley yet, Bohemoth climbs the turnbuckles and lets out a huge roar as he flexes his muscles. COACH What a sorry state the OAOAST is in when a dangerous pervert like this guy is roaming loose again! Jumping off the turnbuckles, Bohemoth paces, both he and Bosley amped up to the eyeballs with energy. COLE What a battle of testosterone this promises to me. Bohemoth, with retribution on his mind here tonight. I can't imagine how angry he must be at these rape claims, which we've still yet to see any hard evidence of yet from anyone not under the Moneymaker program I might add. COACH Oh please. Mackenzie's tears say more than real evidence ever could. *DINGDINGDING!* Nick Patrick doesn't dare hold them back any longer and calls for the bell. Forward marches Bohemoth. But to his and to the fans' collective surprise, Bosley doesn't back down, stepping right into Bohemoth's face! The two lock eyes, Bo staring a hole in Bosley's skull. BOSLEY HOW'D IT FEEL, HUH? HOW DID IT FEEL YOU SICK BASTARD? DID YOU GET A RUSH OFF IT? HUH!? MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN? HUH!? ANSWER ME DIRTBAG! *SLAP!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh my! Now you've done it! The fearless Detective's slap pushes Bo over the edge and he explodes into life with furious right hands! Bosley is backed all the way across the ring and into a corner by the closed fists, pounded against the turnbuckles with referee Patrick forced to step in as Bohemoth shows no sign of stopping. Backed up, Bo suddenly brushes Patrick off though, mowing into Bosley with a corner clothesline! Irish whip sends Bosley across the ring, for another clothesline in the opposite corner. Bo then grabs Bosley by the throat, squeezing his windpipe with enough force to cross the Detective's eyes! COLE Bohemoth has finally shut the AMOG's mouth! COACH Yeah, I bet he's had plenty of practise with this hold too. Bohemoth presses Bosley off the mat and high over his head, with ease, walking over to the ropes and depositing him to the arena floor below! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That's two hundred sixty five pounds getting gorilla slammed to the floor, incredible power display! Picking himself up, Tango doesn't get the chance to recover as Bo slides out to meet him with another right hand. And another. Bosley falls against the timekeeper's table and tries to use the RINGBELL... but Bo blocks in, booting Bosley in the gut and throwing him into the announce table! Bouncing off, Bosley staggers back towards the ring. As he tries to slide back inside though, Bo drags him back out by the ankle, before dropping him on the arena floor with a clothesline. With the referee warning him to get it back inside, Bohemoth picks Bosley up by the collar and finally throws him in, sliding in after and stalking his opponent. COLE You might say Detective Bosley is 'paying the price' for his association with Theodore Moneymaker right about now. Bohemoth has come here with a purpose tonight! Bosley staggers back up... and uses his instincts off the job to catch Bohemoth with a back elbow to the gut. Now it's Bosley's turn to attack with right hands, hitting hard and fast before coming off the ropes. Clothesline attempt is ducked though, Bosley spinning around and PLANTED with the Front Spinebuster! COLE There it is! The beginning of the end for Bosley. COACH This is terrible. I haven't seen such a miscarriage of justice since OJ. Popping back to his feet, Bohemoth looks like he might be ready for the end... ...but gets distracted, as down the aisle heads MACKENZIE DECENZO, holding the hand of Christian Wright for emotional support! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Oh! The bravery of this woman is simply unparalleled! COLE Would you stop it already? What business does Mackenzie have out here, if she's supposed to be so 'traumatised' why would she be coming to the ring with Bohemoth 10 feet away!? COACH Hey, he's not gonna attack her in public, is he? He's a coward like all rapists. Bohemoth stares down the aisle and points the finger at Mackenzie, who cowers into Christian's shoulder in a sudden attack of fear. And as Christian spells out exactly what he thinks of his former charge, Bohemoth catches something out of the corner of his eye... a Roundhouse Kick, connecting right to the back of the head from Bosley! Hook of the leg... 1... 2... No! Mounting Bohemoth, Bosley attacks with rights and lefts with a total disregard for the referee's count. Eventually Bosley is pulled off of his opponent and he gives the referee a mouthful of abuse. COACH Hey, don't put your hands on a cop buddy. COLE Ex-cop. Bohemoth pulls himself up on the ropes, attacked from behind by Bosley. After some shots to the back Bosley attacks the backs of the knees with short kicks to try and chop his opponent down to size a little. And when that doesn't work, he chokes him across the top ring rope. Breaking on 4, Bosley whips Bohemoth off the ropes, connecting with a back elbow. The force sends Bo backpedalling into a corner and Bosley follows him in with a hard forearm smash. COLE We're seeing a really physical battle here between these two, as the term has been coined, alpha males of the OAOAST. Coming off the ropes, Bosley tries to connect with another forearm but gets scooped up for another Spinebuster. But he's close enough to the ropes to grab on and block the move, using some knees to the stomach to get back to his feet before hitting a quick DDT! Bosley rolls over and covers again... 1... 2... No! Bosley waves Bo back up, connecting with a stinging right hand. Shaking it off, Bohemoth pops Bosley with one right back though. A slugfest suddenly breaks out with the two men going punch for punch, until Bosley is forced to go to the eyes to gain the upperhand! Boos rain down as Bosley lays in some unreturned rights, then aims Bohemoth towards the corner. Irish whip is reversed and Bosley is sent in instead, but he shows his agility as he springboards to the middle turnbuckle and launches himself backwards with an elbow... ...but gets CAUGHT! and dropped with a big back suplex!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, Bosley dropped right on the back of his head, big counter from The Meterosexual Monster! Poor Mackenzie looks horrified to see Bohemoth get the advantage and hides her face in CW's shoulder, unable to watch. Both men get back up, and it's Bohemoth with the momentum on his side now, as he mows Bosley down with a clothesline. A second. And a third, before bulging the muscles! COACH Look at that sick freak. How Mackenzie can watch this is beyond me, what an inspiration. Bosley falls into a corner where Bohemoth levels him with yet another clothesline, knocking what little wind he had right out of his lungs. Scooping the Detective up over his shoulder, Bo then plants him with the Running Powerslam! 1... 2... NO! Staggering to his feet, Bosley is met with a Big Boot to the face and drops to the mat like a well-glazed doughnut! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Bohemoth backs up into a corner and waits for Bosley to get back up. COLE Bohemoth looking to uncoil here. Feeling the effects of the boot, Bosley staggers up and staggers around in a state of confusion. From his crouched position Bohemoth suddenly explodes into life and charges in towards Bosley. The Detective somehow manages to sidestep though and Bohemoth... narrowly avoids colliding with the turnbuckles! There's still an opening for Bosley though and he takes advantage, delivering a crescent kick to the sternum that drops Big Bo! COLE Beautiful kick from Bosley though. With Bo vulnerable Bosley quickly gives a signal and looks to take the law into his own hands, by taking Bohemoth to Arrest And Trial! He sets up the Brainbuster... but can't get the 284 pounder all the way up for it! Bosley tries again, with similar lack of success. And a third time to no avail. Bosley gets frustrated and lands some punches to the midsection with his free hand. But as he goes for the lift again, he suddenly finds himself going up as it's Bohemoth with a display of raw power, lifting Bosley off his feet and sitting out to drive him into the canvas with a Falcon Arrow! COLE The Bo And Arrow! Out of nowhere! COACH No, come on, this monster can't escape trial, he has to be punished! Bohemoth jumps back up and looks out into the crowd, who rise to their feet as one. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Houston crowd are ready... but Mackenzie DeCenzo has seen enough and suddenly rushes to the ring and climbs onto the apron, distracting the referee!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Hey come on, what's she doing up on the apron!? COACH Don't you know it's important therapy for victims to confront their attackers? Bohemoth is distracted again and turns his attentions to Mackenzie, who suddenly goes white with fear. Feeling faint, she clings onto referee Patrick to prevent falling to the arena floor... ...which conveniently keeps him occupied whilst Officer Bosley pulls a POLICE BATON from his right boot! COACH Alright, time for some old-fashioned justice! Finally dragging his attentions away from Mackenzie, Bohemoth turns around to see Bosley coming right at him. With the baton brandished Bosley lets out a loud shout and takes an almighty swipe at the Meterosexual Monster. But Bohemoth is able to dodge it and in one movement scoop Bosley up into his arms and off his feet! COACH Oh no! Mackenzie sees things backfiring and hurriedly gets off the apron, Christian Wright helping to pull her to safety as Bohemoth parades Bosley around in his arms. The law enforcer kicks and struggles to try and get free. But Bohemoth has him where he wants him and makes sure Mackenzie and CW are watching, before swinging Bosley around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Mackenzie covers her face in abject horror, as Bohemoth stares down the aisleway with an arm raises in victory by the referee and one foot on what's left of the hostile Detective. BUFFER Your winner of this match... BBOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" With CW comforting her Mackenzie is helped to the safety of backstage while Bohemoth stands tall in the ring. Looking down at Bosley he looks no happier for the small measure of revenge, raising his arms in victory if not in satisfaction. COLE A beating delivered here tonight by Bohemoth. And I think the Alpha Male just got alphabetised. COACH That doesn't even make any sense! Bohemoth scales the turnbuckles and raises his arms for his legions of fans one last time, before he exits the ring, wiping the sweat from his brow with a casual flick. COACH And these people cheer for him. They encourage this man... this... this beast! The man should be locked up and the key thrown away, not given the chance to perform in front of these people, all they're doing is feuling that ego and making him more likely to attack in the future. COLE With your hysterics, have you ever thought about working for the news instead of wrestling commentating? Seriously, get a grip. COACH Get a grip? Get a grip!? The man is a rapist! COLE I think there's enough of an element of doubt to say he's innocent until proven guilty, don't you? COACH You're just as bad as he is for making excuses. Poor Mackenzie is a broken woman... COLE Oh yeah, she sure looked a broken woman when she ran interference to let Bosley get the baton out, didn't she? Call me cynical but I've come to doubt the honesty of anything The Enterprise say or do until there's hard evidence to back it up. And until I see any, I'm going to stay dubious at best. In the meantime, let's move on to something else! Coach continues to grumble as we fade away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
