Weekend Box Office Report

[King Kamala 0]

Give me the details, Barron. I'm extremely jealous!

 

And this movie sounds incredibly similar to America's Heart and Soul, the documentary Disney put out as a response to Fahrenheit 9/11. Of course that was a documentary and did not feature The White Shadow, Mr. Belding, and Ruthie from Seventh Heaven

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Wait, Mr. Belding is in it? Fuck yes! Ken Howard is in it too!

 

I'm so excited

How in the world did he blow up to be 400 lbs like that?

[bob_barron 0]

So here's Proud American:

 

The movie begins with a bunch of sweeping shots of America, while people talk about how much their country sucks compares to America. Which is awesome.

 

Then we get Yakov Smirnoff doing his comedy, and he talks about how awesome America is.

 

The first vignette concerns Dawn, who comes to America from Vietnam on a boat. Dawn knows no English and struggles to fit in with her dubbed over thick Vietnamese accent. But she knows who the Roosevelts are. This draws the ire of Ruthie from 7th Heaven and her cleavage. Ruthie wears an outfit that makes her look fat.

 

Ruthie and these other girls make fun of her, but then Dawn meets some nice girls. Dawn then graduates from high school with a 4.5 GPA and even Ruthie begrudingly claps for her. Suck it Ruthie.

 

Dawn marries someone in software, whose plans are rejected by his boss. Dawn decides they should start their own business (she has the business plan already!) and they do.

 

But they're struggling, but then they land some software contract, and everything is happy.

 

More swooping shots of Americana as someone sings a song called You Can Do Anything.

 

Then we see Mr. Belding and his family celebrate Christmas. And a Jewish family lives on their block too! But some white supremacists break into the Jews home and wreck their menorah. The Jews know they shouldn't tell grandma, since grandma's entire family died in Auschwitz in 1944.

 

But have no fear, as Mr. Belding and some other neighbours are outraged and super nice, and they help out the Jews, including buying them a menorah! Later the family is driving down their block....and every house has a menorah. Awesome!

 

Then we cut to a bunch of swooping shots of houses of worship as someone sings about freedom of religion. And if you're atheist, it's cool, they show someone getting married at a non-denominational wedding chapel.

 

We also have some vignettes about how Coca Cola and Wal Mart started! The movie was funded by, you guessed it, Coke and Wal Mart. And some small business owners talk about owning a small business. Because America's awesome.

 

Next we meet Curtis Jackson. No, not 50 Cent, this Curtis Jackson is played the kid in the Friday Night Lights movie, who runs onto the field without his helmet. Yep, that guy.

 

Curtis lives on the South Side of Chicago with his friend. One day his friend goes and plays basketball with his gangbanger cousin (we know he's a gangbanger because he has tattoos) but Curtis goes home. Curtis gets chased by gangbangers on his way home, and cuts himself. Grandma takes him to Dr. Malcom, and Dr. Malcom is such a cool guy and now Curtis wants to be a docor.

 

But Curtis' family is black and they have no money, so he ends up going to community college. At community college, some nice guy recommends Curtis to a pre-med program in California and Curtis does that. Then Curtis fucks up his MCATS, but one year later, he passes them! Curtis is on his way to med school with Ken Howard and Doogie Howser's dad! But uh-oh, Curtis still has some street in him.

 

But med school is hard, and Curtis falls behind. Then Grandma dies. Curtis almost quits. But then he returns to med school and joins a study group to catch up. He later returns to Chicago and meets Dr. Malcom again, and Curtis is inspiring other people to be a doctor!

 

Next a mom and a daughter talk about love. Then they go to Ground Zero. Yep, it's 9/11 time! But that's it. They just say hi to daddy.

 

Then we hear two firefighters talking. If you think a swooping shot of firefighters driving down NY is next, well you're right!

 

Then we meet Carlos. Carlos comes to America from Brazil and speaks no English but winds up working at some at some restaurant with some guy who I recognised, but whose name I don't know. Within a year, Carols is basically running the place, but decides to become a Navy Seal. Carlos becomes a Navy Seal but then gets shot down in Panama, and is paralysed.

 

After being paralysed, Carlos becomes a douchebag. His physical therapist tries to push him, but Carlos gives up. Then Carlos' old Navy Seal buddies show up and go off on him for being such a cunt. Carlos realises he's being an asshole, and then pushes himself harder. He hand bikes all the way from Miami to Virginia! He races! Yay!

 

But then he gets an infection and is bedridden for two years. Two years later though, Carlos is back and kicking ass. Because he's awesome.

 

The film ends with more sweeping shots of America, and how fucking awesome it is. And then the movie quotes Ross Perot. And then it ends.

[King Kamala 0]

Aw man...sounds even better than I imagined.

[bob_barron 0]

The music was the best part. Every song was some loud inspirational song about how you can do anything. Because you live in America. Which is awesome.

 

And there's a random scene of a guy preaching the I Have a Dream speech. And a montage of war memorials.

 

And a guy who sells clams!

[Guest Smues]

Man, I'm tempted to go see that. It is playing here, but I'd be surprised if it still was this weekend.

 

Edit: "Also in Imax at selected locations."

 

Bwahahahahahahaha. Yeah there's a movie that needs an Imax release. Did you see it in Imax Bob?

[bob_barron 0]

No, I saw it in regular format.

 

In the movie's defence, the swooping shots do look cool at times, but man, this movie summed up why the rest of the world hates America.

[LaParkaMarka 0]

When Mr Belding saw the ruined menorah, did he say "Hey hey hey, what is going on here???

[King Kamala 0]

When Mr Belding saw the ruined menorah, did he say "Hey hey hey, what is going on here???

 

Post of the day

[bob_barron 0]

LaParka wins the thread.

 

My friend called me in the middle of Proud American to provide a distraction

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Your phone should have been off.

 

I saw Burn earlier tonight, what an odd but good movie.

[bob_barron 0]

He was calling me while watching the movie

[bob_barron 0]

My box office predictions for the weekend-

 

1)My Best Friend's Girl- 15 million

2)Lakeview Terrace- 13 million

3)Burn After Reading- 11 million

4)Righteous Kill- 8 million

5)Igor- 8 million

6)The Family That Preys- 7 million

7)Ghost Town- 6 million

8)The Woman- 5 milllion

9)TDK- 3 million

10)House Bunny- 3 million

[cd213 0]

I can't see a movie starring Jason Biggs and Dane Cook drawing a # 1 spot. Biggs is way past his AMERICAN PIE days and Dane Cook is just not appealing in any way. I can see it coming in top 3, but certainly not #1.

[The Niggardly King 0]

I need to see Proud American

[King Kamala 0]

I can't see a movie starring Jason Biggs and Dane Cook drawing a # 1 spot. Biggs is way past his AMERICAN PIE days and Dane Cook is just not appealing in any way. I can see it coming in top 3, but certainly not #1.

 

Yeah but what the hell else is coming out? I don't think Lakeview Terrace or Ghost Town have enough appeal and Igor hasn't been shilled enough for them to take the #1 spot. I don't see Burn After Reading coming on top again. And I think they're banking more on the combination of Biggs and Cook plus Kate Hudson is what they're banking on.

[bob_barron 0]

Good Luck Chuck opened to 13.6 mil last year, and I just figured that Kate Hudson is a bigger star then Jessica Alba. Hence, my 15 mil prediction.

 

Fantasy moguls-

 

FINAL PREDICTIONS FOR WEEKEND OF SEPTEMBER 19

1. NEW - Lakeview Terrace (Sony) - $15M

2. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $12M

3. NEW - My Best Friend’s Girl (Lionsgate) - $11.9M

4. Righteous Kill (Overture) - $8.1M

5. Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys (Lionsgate) - $6.8M

6. NEW - Ghost Town (Dreamworks/Paramount) - $6.25M

7. NEW - Igor (MGM) - $5.5M

8. The Women (Picturehuse) - $5M

9. The House Bunny (Sony) - $3.1M

10. The Dark Night (Warner Bros) - $2.9M

 

Boxofficeguru-

 

Lakeview Terrace- 13 mil

My Best Friend's Girl- 12 mil

Burn After Reading- 11.5 mil

Tyler Perry- 9.5 mil

Righteous Kill- 9 mil

Igor- 8 mil

Ghost Town- 5 mil